The Jack of All Trades

by Lord Zalgo

Busted

Phoenix slowly turned his head to see Pinkie Pie standing in the doorway with a hoof to her chest, trying to control her breathing.

“Thank Faust! I was afraid I was too late this time!” Pinkie gasped as she walked into the room and wrapped her forelegs around Phoenix. He sighed, but smiled slightly as he lightly reciprocated the action.

“What happened, Phoenix? Danger Night isn’t for a few months.” Pinkie asked.

“I think Danger Night’s cancelled for this year, Pinkie. I managed to set myself straight.” Phoenix replied, stroking Pinkie’s mane to assure her that everything was fine.

“So, you don’t think we’ll have to worry for a while?” Pinkie asked hopefully. Phoenix remained quiet for a while.

“You know I can’t be sure. I wish I could be, but neither of us were expecting tonight.” Phoenix replied. Pinkie seemed to droop when she saw the logic of the reply. Phoenix seemed to pick up on it and pulled her into another hug and kissed her on the forehead like a parent would do to calm their child. Pinkie snuggled into Phoenix’s chest and began to tear up and shiver.

“I... I’m just afraid that one day I’ll come and realise... that I came too late.” Pinkie cried into his chest. Phoenix was about to reply, but a sound of clattering drew both Phoenix’s and Pinkie’s attention back to the door. Standing there, shocked that she’d knocked over an ornament off of a table near the door, was Applejack. She fumbled with the ornament for a moment before looking towards Phoenix and Pinkie with shocked eyes as they looked back with the same expression.

Phoenix’s face finally became stoic before he broke the horrible silence.

“How long have you been there?” He asked expressionlessly. Applejack knew that he was merely hiding his emotions, but it still intimidated her to her him sound so cold.

“L-long enough. About ‘Danger Night’?” Applejack replied nervously. Despite taking a liking to the stallion, Phoenix scared her a little. She could never tell what he was thinking when he went into ‘poker face mode’. Phoenix sighed and tapped the bed with his hoof, inviting her to sit. When she did, Phoenix stood and looked at Pinkie.

“Do you think she should know?” Phoenix asked Pinkie.

“I think all of our friends should.” Pinkie replied. Phoenix saw an opportunity to try and lighten the mood.

“Maybe not. You’re friends with the whole town, remember?” Phoenix said with a very faint smile.

“Oh, yeah. Maybe all of your friends should know.” Pinkie replied, giggling slightly.

“Well, what do you want to know?” Phoenix asked Applejack.

“Well, ah’d like to know what ’Danger Night’ is.” Applejack requested, trying to stay calm.

“Answer for an answer. What are you doing here anyway?” Phoenix questioned.

“Ah was worried when you left. Ah couldn’t decide whether or not to follow you. When Ah made it here, you an’ Pinkie talkin’ ‘bout ‘Danger Night'. Ah walked toward the door to listen better, but Ah knocked that thing over an’... Ah guess you know the rest.” Applejack explained. Phoenix looked into her eyes for a moment, but it was the longest moment of Applejack’s life. Having his bright blue eyes bore into her emerald green ones gave her a strange feeling in her stomach. She dismissed it, however when Phoenix’s gaze seemed to lose its intensity and broke to silence.

“Thank you for your honesty, AJ. I guess I’d better start explaining. Danger Night is just another name that we use for September 1st. It’s the day when I look in my mirror, put my father’s gun to my temple and contemplate whether or not to blow my head open.” Phoenix explained. Applejack just looked horrified.

“What?!” Applejack screamed.

“But, sometimes when I feel particularly down, I reschedule the date. Like tonight.” Phoenix continued.

“Why tonight?” Applejack asked worriedly. She couldn’t predict this stallion in the least.

“It sounds like nothing. But... I was feeling guilty after I told you my plan today.” Phoenix said. Applejack’s face immediately went to sympathy.

“But, Ah said I forgave you!” Applejack said and placed her hoof to Phoenix’s cheek.

“And I said that I hadn’t. I just felt too guilty.” Phoenix replied. He gently took hold of her hoof and moved it from his face. He slowly walked to the window to see the sunset in the distance and sighed. A moment later he felt both Pinkie and Applejack wrap their hooves around him. He looked at them and gave a small smile.

“Come on, girls. I think we all just need to cheer up a bit.” Phoenix said softly. The girls slowly agreed and they began to converse and tell funny stories. They started to lighten up and after a while, were smiling and laughing to their hearts content. When Pinkie looked back at the window, she saw that the sun had set a while ago, leaving the moon and stars in its place. However, there were also dark raincloud that were releasing their contents all over the town.

“Look how late it is! I’ve gotta get home! I’m gonna have so much fun with Dashie tomorrow!” Pinkie announced enthusiastically. Phoenix and Applejack looked to the window and acknowledged the time and the weather.

“Hold on. I’ll get my brolly and I’ll walk you two home.” Phoenix said.

“Phoenix, you don’t have to do that.” Applejack offered and Pinkie nodded in agreement. Phoenix simply shook his head.

“Nah. The walk’ll do me good. Besides, I like the sound of the rain.” Phoenix replied. He didn’t wait for a response before he used his magic to lift an umbrella towards him. The girls agreed and all walk out of the door, all making sure to stay under the protection of the umbrella. They walked for a while before reaching Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie lowered her voice to prevent disturbing her employers.

“See you guys tomorrow. Keep your chin up, Phoenix.” Pinkie said softly before she entered the cafe. Phoenix and Applejack waved before beginning to walk to Sweet Apple Acres. Before they reached the edge of town however, they saw a mare and a stallion passionately kissing outside of the Prancing Parasprite, Ponyville’s local tavern. As they walked, the light coming from the tavern allowed them to see who it was. The mare had a turquoise coat, with a cream mane and tail and a cutie mark of two yellow lightning bolts. The stallion however...

...Was Caramel.

Applejack and Phoenix simply looked at him in shock from across the road as the rain lashed against the umbrella. Phoenix was the first to regain his senses as he looked to Applejack, but she simply blinked and shook her head to regain her senses. She looked back at Phoenix.

“Well, Ah didn’t see that comin’.” Applejack said in a strangely casual voice. The two began to walk again as Phoenix simply looked at Applejack with a questioning look.

“You’re taking this remarkably well.” Phoenix said sceptically. Applejack turned to him and shrugged.

“Ah did say Ah planned on breakin’ up with him. Ah don’t see why Ah should care that much.” Applejack replied.

“You’re not that cold, Applejack. Don’t lie to me.” Phoenix replied in a level tone.

“…Alright, Ah’m a little hurt, but Ah still don’t care that much!” Applejack emphasised.

“That’s better. You should know better than to try to lie to me.” Phoenix said.

“Why? ‘Cause you can see through any lie?” Applejack asked sarcastically.

“No, you’re just shit at lying.” Phoenix chuckled. Applejack simply narrowed her eyes as she tried to keep a smile off of her face.

“Bastard.” Applejack chuckled. Phoenix put one of his hooves to his mouth and gasped dramatically.

“Applejack said a naughty word! I should tell your family!” Phoenix announced dramatically. Applejack openly laughed as Phoenix looked back at her and smiled. When they reached the farmhouse, Phoenix shook the umbrella to dry it off when they were under the porch.

“You gonna be okay?” Applejack asked. Phoenix simply smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll be back to pick up Apple Bloom tomorrow.” Phoenix replied.

“Why’s that?” Applejack asked in confusion.

“I’m the new student councillor. I think she’ll be surprised to see me there.” Phoenix said and smiled. Applejack giggled.

“Yeah, Ah think she will be. Goodnight, Phoenix.” Applejack said as she started to walk through the front door.

“Goodnight, AJ.” Phoenix replied. He opened the umbrella once again and began to walk back to town as the rain continued to pour down onto him. He looked to the sky and saw the full moon gleaming down upon him.

‘Tomorrow’s a new day. And I won’t be one to miss it.’ Phoenix thought with determination and a serene smile.