The Jack of All Trades

by Lord Zalgo


Repairing Bodies And Bridges

Beep... beep... beep

Can’t anypony die in peace?!

...

Wait...

Phoenix began to open his eyes to see that he was on a green/blue sheeted bed in a crystal white room. He looked to his left to see an IV attached to his foreleg and a heart rate monitor beeping at short, regular intervals. It took Phoenix a moment or two to realise that he was in a hospital room. Phoenix’s eyes became pinpricks as memories of the Summer Sun Celebration flooded back into his mind, until he felt a warm sensation on his face. He turned his head to the right to discover a window with the curtains drawn, but something was seeping through the gaps that warmed not only Phoenix’s face, but his heart as well.

Sunlight.

Phoenix in that instant knew that his actions weren’t in vain, but anxieties still remained in his mind. He looked to the bedside table to his right to see a black, folded hooded jacket and his harmony stone necklace lying on top of it. Minor relief entered his mind. He loved that jacket.

“Well, would you look whose back with the living?” Phoenix’s stomach twisted as a stallion’s voice filled the room. Phoenix turned his head back to the left to see a stallion sitting in a chair on the far side of the room, holding a knife and an apple that he was peeling with his golden magical aura. The stallion had a light grey coat with a neatly combed black mane and tail. In fact, he was practically the spitting image of Phoenix. The only differences were that the stallion’s eyes were bright lavender, instead of sky blue like Phoenix’s and his cutie mark was a rolled up scroll with a golden seal. Not unlike Mayor Mare’s, except the seal had black ribbon and the gold seal had a sparkle on its edge.

Phoenix looked less than happy to see him.

“Suddenly, death sounds like a nice option.” Phoenix said in a cold tone.

“Now, brother. There’s no need for that.” The stallion replied.

“You’re not exactly the first face that I want to see when I wake up, Cloud.” Phoenix argued.

“How many times must we go through this silly rivalry, Phoenix?”

“I don’t know. How long until you forfeit?” Silence fell between the two, until they both smiled and chuckled.

“Good to know that nearly dying didn’t affect your personality at all. It’s just a shame it didn’t make you more polite.” Cloud commented in a teasing tone.

“You should try it sometime.” Phoenix replied in kind.

“No, thank you. I’m alright.”

“So, what happened to me?” Phoenix finally questioned. This caught Cloud off-guard.

“You don’t remember?” He asked in a worried manner.

“I remember being blasted out of a stain-glass window, but I blacked out before I hit the ground.”

“Well, I can’t fill in the blanks for you. But, somepony wanted to see you when you awoke.” Cloud began to walk to the door with a scroll in his magic. Before he left, he turned towards Phoenix.

“I’ll send a message to our dear sister, too. She managed to visit you once, but her career pulled her back again. You know what she’s like. I’ll let her know you’re fine.” Phoenix smiled and nodded his thanks as his brother left the room. Phoenix was left to wonder who could answer his questions. He didn’t have long to wait, because a minute or so after Cloud left, the room filled with light. The blinding light subsided and the majestic form of Princess Celestia stood in front of the bed Phoenix was lying on with a gentle and slightly relieved smile.

And Phoenix nearly shat himself.

“Princess! Uhh... I’d bow, but...” Phoenix stuttered and fumbled with his words.

“That’s alright, my little pony. I’m glad to see that you are finally conscious.” Celestia soothingly replied.

“...Finally? How long was I out?” Phoenix asked worriedly.

“Just over a week. You missed a fair amount of events from what I hear. Which reminds me...” A spark of magic flashed in front of Celestia and a golden object hovered in front of her. After a moment of inspection, Phoenix realised it was a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala.

“Okay, Princess Celestia is visiting me in hospital, seems to know exactly who I am and is hoofing me a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. None of the above makes sense to me.” Phoenix said in an annoyed and confused manner. Celestia seemed a tad surprised at how blunt Phoenix was with her.

“After what you did for the Elements of Harmony, they consider you their friend and saved this ticket for you.” Celestia said a little shakily, still in shock of how cold Phoenix was. Phoenix was still confused.

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re here.” Phoenix said in a less cold and more curious tone.

“The girls were worried about your condition. I wanted to see you to find out what kind of pony you are. Only a hero would face Nightmare Moon the way you did.” Celestia said with pride. Phoenix’s expression didn’t change.

“I’m no hero, Princess.” Despite how cold Phoenix was being, he was still being respectful to Celestia, while she was simply surprised that he wasn’t even trying to butter her up like most of her subjects would. She was even more surprised why he wouldn’t accept such a high compliment.

“Why do you deny such a title?” Celestia inquired. The stallion was getting more and more intriguing.

“Ponies will tell you that heroes don’t use guns. Besides, what have I done that could be considered heroic?” Phoenix lazily laid back on his hospital bed. He was beginning to get annoyed with Celestia’s persistence.

“You were willing to sacrifice your life for the girls to have the opportunity to use the Elements to rid the corruption from my sister, Luna.” Celestia said as if it was obvious.

“I wasn’t exactly planning to be blasted out of a window. I’m a coward who had a moment of foolery. I tried to shoot a goddess in the head with a six-shooter! That’s nothing but foolery!” Phoenix raised his voice to get his point across.

“It was you...” A quiet voice came from the door. Celestia turned and Phoenix looked in the same direction. Another alicorn was standing in the doorway, staring at Phoenix with wide watery eyes. She was smaller than Celestia with a dark blue coat, short light blue mane and tail, blue eyes and a symbol of the moon on her flank. Her eyes had a slight red hue, as if she’d been crying. She suddenly ran into the room, threw her forelegs around Phoenix and began crying.

“It is so good to see you alive and well, brave one!” Luna wailed as she gripped him.

“Uh... And you are...?” Phoenix asked in genuine confusion as the mare refused to let go.

“She’s my sister. Princess Luna.” Celestia said.

“We... We were... Nightmare Moon.” Luna said fearfully. Phoenix’s expression once again, didn’t change.

“...Past tense.” Phoenix asked openly, awaiting her response.

“When the Elements of Harmony released their energies into her, she was reformed and she returned to her true form. She isn’t Nightmare Moon anymore.” Celestia said, yet remained wary of how Phoenix could react. Both princesses received a small surprise when Phoenix wrapped one of his legs around Luna and gave a kind smile.

“That’s all I need to hear. I have no reason to mistrust you. What do you say? Friends?” Phoenix gave a small, yet wide smile to Luna. She stared for a moment before she smiled and squeezed him tighter. Phoenix looked to Celestia with a kind, questioning look.

“What about you? You want in on this?” Phoenix said with a smirk. Celestia let out a lone chuckle as she closed her eyes and shook her head. Phoenix’s smirk grew as he grabbed Celestia in his magic and pulled her into his awaiting embrace, without letting go of Luna.

“Don’t struggle, Celestia. Even princesses need a good hug now-and-then.” Phoenix said kindly. Celestia remained still for a moment before wrapping her hooves and wings around Phoenix and Luna.

Once Phoenix and Celestia had convinced Luna that she had been forgiven, the princesses returned to Canterlot. After a minute or so, a nurse walked up to Phoenix and began to explain his condition.

“Most of the damage was centred on your legs and head, but the injuries on your head weren’t too severe. The wounds were easily cured with magic. We were just waiting for you to regain consciousness.” Nurse Redheart explained.

“Good to know. Thank you, nurse. Am I in any condition to leave?” Phoenix asked.

“Yes, but your legs could still be a little weak. I’d like you to see me weekly until their original strength returns.” Redheart instructed.

“Why nurse, you don’t beat around the bush, do you?” Phoenix said with half-lidded eyes and a teasing smile. Redheart blushed and spoke again.

“I-I didn’t mean it like that, Mr Fortesque!” Redheart stammered. Phoenix chuckled with a kind smile.

“I know, Nurse Redheart. I’m just teasing. Would you mind giving me a hoof here?” Phoenix said as he started to climb out of bed. Redheart went quickly to his side and supported him as he stepped onto the floor. His legs were a little shaky as he tried to stabilise himself. He tried to walk slowly around the room, shakily, like a newborn deer. He was eventually back to normal, thanked Redheart and started to walk out of the room. Redheart was sure to stay near Phoenix in case he had any trouble with moving or magic as he put his nearby hoodie on, put his necklace in his pocket or when he signed some forms to signify his release. He made sure that he had his gala ticket in his pocket before he left the hospital completely.

Phoenix walked into town to get some answers to questions that were plaguing his thoughts. Did the girls get hurt like he did? How did he survive his fall? Suddenly, the next thing Phoenix knew, he was on his back facing a being of pure pink. She held on to him very tightly and her mane poofed to its regular shape. He silently smiled and held her until her tears stopped.

“I’m so glad to see you awake again!” Pinkie said happily through her tears. Phoenix was about to respond when he heard another voice as Rarity and Applejack trotted up to them.

“Pinkie, dear? We turn away for a second to find you on top... of...” Rarity’s words died in her throat as she noticed who Pinkie was on top of. Her decorum forgotten, she ran to Phoenix, fell to her knees and hugged him along with Pinkie. Phoenix smiled and hugged them back. When Phoenix was finally able to stand again, Applejack looked at him with a mix of guilt and uncertainty.

“I-its... good to see you up an’ about...” Applejack said awkwardly. Phoenix simply smiled.

“Thank you. I’m glad you weren’t hurt. Was anypony else hurt?” Phoenix asked. Rarity answered for Applejack.

“No, darling. It was just you. We should have felt relief from that... but we just felt worry.” Rarity seemed to depress herself slightly.

“Hey, hey. No need for that now.” Phoenix said soothingly as he delicately put his hoof to her cheek.

“U-uh... If y’all could excuse me, ah-ah’ve got some chores to do.” Applejack quickly and awkwardly walked towards Sweet Apple Acres. Pinkie and Rarity watched at her leave in confusion.

“Why is she being so weird?” Pinkie asked. Phoenix scoffed slightly.

“I never thought I’d hear that from you, Pinks.” Phoenix said, trying to hold back a chuckle. Pinkie giggled, while Rarity remained stoic.

“I can’t figure out why she’s acting that way. Ever since the Summer Sun Celebration, she’s been acting strangely, but... never that strangely.” Rarity said with uncertainty.

“I could read her a little. She seemed to be conflicted about something. I don’t think I win any prizes for assuming that it’s something about me.” Phoenix said. Pinkie suddenly made a noise to bring the attention back to her.

“I thought I saw Applejack going to the hospital a few days ago with: Big Macintosh, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom. She told us that she wouldn’t visit you, because we all wanted to go as a group, but Applejack refused.” Pinkie explained, taking the situation seriously.

“Why would she refuse to visit Phoenix with us, but then go with her family?” Rarity asked. Phoenix wanted to get to the bottom of it all.

“I’ll catch up with you girls later. I’m going to get those questions answered." He walked down the country road until the orchard was finally in his sights. He could see why the Apple family loved the place so much. He looked across the fields and saw nothing, but the beauty of nature. And apples. Lots and lots of apples. He found the aroma of the fruits somewhat intoxicating, but he ignored it as he walked ever closer to the farm.

He walked through the entrance to see a large red barn directly in front of him, with pathways to different parts of the orchard on his left and right. Also on his right was a farmhouse. It looked old, but sturdy. It was obviously well built years ago, but Phoenix had another thought in mind. He could either find Applejack or somepony that could lead him to her. He walked to the house and looked through the window to see not the orange mare like he hoped, but a small, beige filly with a bright red mane and tail. She also had a comically large pink bow on the top of her head, tied into her mane. He walked to the porch and knocked on the door.

“Comin’!” A young, cheerful voice with an unmistakable accent said from the other side of the door. The door opened to reveal the filly who seemed to become uneasy within a few seconds. Phoenix disregarded it and remained polite with a kind smile.

“Hello there, young lady. You don’t know where I could find Applejack, do you?” Phoenix asked. The filly still seemed uneasy.

“What do you want with mah sister?” She asked back with a more worried tone than suspicious. Phoenix’s smile didn’t change.

“I just want to talk to her about something. Nothing serious. Sister... you wouldn’t happen to be Apple Bloom, would you?” Phoenix asked.

“How do you know mah name?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I’ve heard you name through the grape vine, as it were.” Phoenix was beginning to doubt that he was anonymous to her.

“You know who I am, don’t you?” Phoenix asked her genuinely. Apple Bloom looked surprised for a moment before nodding.

“Applejack took the family to the hospital to visit you. She said you were a liar. We were always taught by Granny that liars are bad ponies.” Apple Bloom explained as Phoenix listened intently.

“I’ve noticed some strange behaviour from your sister. I just want to make sure that she’s alright, then I’ll get out of your hair.” Phoenix said honestly.

“...It’s you.” Apple Bloom said.

“What?” Phoenix replied.

“You’re the reason Applejack’s actin’ weird.”

“...How so?”

“...She thinks she hates you... but, she says she shouldn’t.”