Ponysopher
Joined 5th Feb, 2012 ·
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Fucking wow...
I am actually writing a Trixie x Octavia one shot right now. Also, going by the description it's very similar. I'm like three thousand words into it.
Dude, I am so pissed that you beat me to it, but so happy that it's you that did.
Great minds think alike, and I'm so happy I followed you.
Whats this?
Hmm, hot
3745679 Three million words? Wow!
You managed to get all my fetishes, plus my two favourite ponies, in one fic.
Who the hell are you?
There are some differences to my story, but not many, let me tell you. I think I might just delete mine and come up with something else.
And this is why Vinyl is known as DJ Porn 3? 8)
DAMN
Very nice.
Loved it!
these two passages really bothered me, but the rest of the story was well-written, and thanks in particular for making Octavia a relatively responsible domme. I loved that part of this story -- I just get touchy around consent and gender issues.
3746351 Neigh, good sir. Thou musnt give up on your progress. I prithee, finish thy work! The world must see your beautiful words!
Bravo
I wished the fic didn't end when it did :p
Some spitroasting with Vinyl using a strap-on (or futa) would've been hot.
Yep. That was hot.
Nicely done on this.
And, I agree with 3749849 ... That would have been SO hot.
~Skeeter The Lurker
love this very much
3750711
What they said...
I don't usually read clopfics unless I am in dire need of some kind of material. I will admit, this was the case in the beginning. But towards the middle it dawned on me. "Hey, I actually like this one." True, it was a moment of epiphany. Like I said, there are few stories that I truly enjoy reading, and I never in my wildest dream thought a clopfic would make that list. Thank you kind sir, for proving me wrong, and writing this. I applaud you.
very well written , good clop , lacking in some areas such as the finisher i think though , but a nice read overall.....
3894320
I think the more abrupt ending was partly intended. A few people said that I should have actually included the impending scene with Vinyl, like I'd hoped they would. However, the story didn't get as much popularity with respect to my other, more valuable works, and so I didn't consider popular demand strong enough to take the time to add another chapter to an already longer story than I originally anticipated.
3896793 wait you think? you're the writer of the story , if you don't know the answer to that then who will?....
3899471
Now that it is released, what I think no longer matters. I can offer my opinion, but this is its own entity now. The reader gets to interpret the work in the way that he can understand it
Well, it's time for Sonic Derpboom to be condescending and give this story a thorough review.
Short review: This story is good. Just that. Good. Nothing less, nothing more. The intro is fantastic. It establishes excellent characters for both Trixie, and Octavia. The setting that it's placed in is also very unique and easy to get immersed in. The actual sex, however, leaves some room for improvement. It is very repetitive (an issue that seems to be common amongst S&M stories), yet somehow also manages to come off as very rushed. The story is still entertaining, however.
Long review: This story is a rare find for me. Very rarely do I find a clop that's intro to build up I enjoy more than the actual sex. However, this fic seems to do just that for me. The intro scene in the "bar" is magnum opus. It wonderfully establishes Octavia as a patient, calm, and collected sophisticate, while perfectly capturing Trixie's already existing canon canon character. I also appreciate the descriptions of the ponies. As opposed to just calling them things like "The blue mare", the extra step was taken to accurately describe them. Usage of color terms such as Azure and Mulberry were very pleasant inclusions. The setting is incredibly well established. I could very easily find myself getting incredibly immersed in the bar (apparently known as the Charming Cello). The winter setting is also handled nicely, setting a good tone for the conditions outside of our setting. Also, a bit of biased here. As someone who absolutely adores the German language, Octavia's usage of the term "Fraulein" earned this one some points. Overall, the intro scene is handled incredibly well, and is one of, if not my single favorite clop opening out there...
...Then we get to the meat and bones of this story. The sex. I'll go over the positives of this scene first. The understanding of sexual acts exceeds most clop stories' understanding of them. The mention of things like the actual nature of anal penetration and physical virginity show a bit more knowledge of sex than most clop stories do. The descriptions of the acts between the two parties are also very well written. Now, for what could have been improved. The aforementioned portrayal of the characters sadly did not hold up. In my opinion, Trixie agreed to submit to Octavia far too quickly. Given how well established Trixie's character was earlier on, I would have loved to see more disapproval of the idea on Trixie's part before she agreed to be put in a submissive position. The vocabulary could stand to be also been a bit more expansive. Instead of usage of terms like "D*ck" and "P*ssy" (I apologize for censoring those. Personal preference.), words like "Phallus" or "Manhood" and "Love" could have been used. Just to give the story a bit less bluntness in it's descriptions. The biggest complaint with this story, however, is that it is incredibly repetitive. More so than most S&M stories. Describing 3 kisses in the story, 2 whippings in it, and describing that Trixie "loved to hate" Octavia three times in a single paragraph are examples of this. The real issue here, however, is that The sex seems rushed. Distractingly rushed. Several of the aspects that had made the intro so excellent were abandoned (such as the expansive descriptions of the characters), and the overall feel of it seems to move far too quickly.
However, through and through, this story is still an entertaining read. The issues are there, but they certainly aren't ones that warrant downvotes. Plus, the intro is magnum opus. A paragon of it's genre. Overall, This story gets my rating of 6 out of 9 mustache Spikes.
Because 6 out of 10 is too harsh.
Have a nice day, my fellow Fimfiction user.
4132091
Well, my thanks to you for putting some work into this review. For one thing, I do like to see my accomplishments given praise a great deal, and if nothing else, this was a nice ego boost in a hard time for me.
While your criticism touches at a painful nerve, I try to take it in good faith, as it is well known to me as a great weakness of mine: that my stories with clop usually start with an elaborate opening and then slowly speed up to the point where they suddenly end, all the while being peppered with expository streams of consciousness intended to break this repetitive nature. This is something that I hope to remedy.
But if you truly enjoy my story, its flaws aside, perhaps you would like to work together in the future, that something we might create would benefit both of us in the process of its creation and from its proceeding advertisement. I myself would very much enjoy to share discourse with any person so well accomplished as the author of Maid Just for the Readers.
4133734 This may make me sound like a giant arschloch, but I am genuinely not sure as to whether your final statement in that reply is genuine, or if it's sarcasm. If it's the former, I greatly appreciate the compliment, and would love and be honored to work with you at some point. If it's the latter, I apologize wholeheartedly for being overly negative and critical in my review. I may have been out of line.
Either way, I wish you a pleasant evening, my friend.
...dayum.
Oh wow...
This is amazing
Forgive me for being nitpicky, but wouldn't it be battery then? Or is it just them not worrying about accuracy?
5395888
This is where I would normally appeal to the uncertainty of Equestrian law in comparison to how we define legal terminology; but sure, let's make it simple and say they aren't really caring about the specifics of rigid accuracy with reference to tort law. The fact is that "assault" rolls off the tongue easier than "battery." "She assaulted me" sounds better than "She committed battery against me."
5397220 If its good enough for them, then its good enough for me.
Pardon my impulsiveness for asking this, but do mind if I use the scene transition image from this story in one of my own? This thing? encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTs9kUBSeWNN5Tb73-idV8AwM2qOyUi7xSV5pK-G_KltyZwAuhqyw It would be very much appreciated if I could.
If not, however, I apologize in full for bothering you. Great story, by the way.
5694540
I tentatively admit that it's not mine. It just found it on Google images. If you want to use it, it's not within my power to bar you.
This story was beautiful I loved every bit of it!
Taaavi! You promised! T.T
3896793
Well, y'know, it's never too late to still add another chapter. I for one would be delighted to read it :p
3896793
7682975
I'm with DbzOrDie. It may not be as popular as some but it is a stellar piece. Actually one of my favorite if not my number one most reread clopfic. Should that final scene be added it would be amazing I'm sure.
God, that was so fucking hot.