Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo have a far more intimate conversation than they did in Flight to the Finish, where the little filly finally opens up to her idol. Even more surprisingly, Rainbow Dash does the same for her, taking on her role as her big sister. In the midst of their talk Rainbow says something Scootaloo has wanted to hear her entire life. Afterwards, their relationship is quite possibly changed forever.
3-part series.
I would have been very interesting to have seen this exchange in that episode. Liked and Fav'ed.
3656643
I totally agree.
And that episode is the first one that has confirmed that Scoots has a home, but still no sign of family yet.
3656942 Yes. That episode did confirm that Scootaloo isn't homeless. She could still be living in an orphanage, though.
3657071
Yeah, that certainly is a possibility.
Glad everyone seemed to like my version : )
3657557
Eyup! Its much better than the one in the episode.
Really well done! I look foward to more of your writing
3667583 AHH thank you!
I liked this chapter. I could feel a few tears coming.
This review is proudly brought to you by the group Authors Helping Authors.
Name of Story: All I Needed to Hear
Grammar Score (out of ten): 7
Pros:
1) Very cute and fluffy. I'd love to see this in an episode, although not quite as mushy.
2) The morals and advice that Rainbow is giving (discounting the actual canonical lines) all sound like things that Rainbow would say to Scootaloo.
3) The picnic scene is nice. Also glad to see Scootaloo back on her scooter again, confident as ever.
Cons:
1) A few grammar gripes, but I'll pm those to you so you don't go all "WELL THEN, WHAT AN ARSEHOLE, MY COMMENT SECTION IS RUINED" at me.
2) Other than that, there's not a not I can really criticise, except for the fact that I've seen this done quite a few times. That's not your fault at all.
3) conlocator.exe has stopped working
Notes:
I don't often read cutesy-wutesy fluffy stories, but there's nothing inherently bad about them. It's just not my usual style. This one is nice, hits on all the right emotions without being too overwhelming, and most importantly of all (in my opinion) feels just like how an episode could play out. Short, sweet, to-the-point, in-character cast--you can't really ask for more than that.
7/10 (would be as high as an 8.5 without the grammar errors).
Enjoy your review! Thank you for reviewing Burning Day Brethren.
3708934 haha, your review makes my review look like a sissy little bitch
Good show
Just as a side note too, i wrote this the day after the episode came out just on a whim, so i really didn't know what going to happen
This kinda reminded me of Velocity. So many bubbly feels of happyness Dash and Scoots are best siblings. Period!
Oh god the feels.
This is beautiful.
3708934 would you mind adding this story to this group?
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo
ommit the "a"
Apostrophe unnecessary
double "as"
There should be a comma between "Shaggy" and "Purple," but there shouldn't be a comma between "Chin" and "and".
Capitalize "as"
Ever, not every
Comma between "While" and "Scootaloo"
There were two more mistakes, but they were in the same sentence and spoken by Rainbow. She doesn't need to have perfect grammar.
QAnyway, despite my nitpicking...I apologize for that, by the way, I really loved this. I know you told me not to read your other serious stuff because you put it all on hiatus for Voices, but I saw this so often I had to click on it, eventually. Well done.
3995768 Yeah, I can't really finish this until then.
3995771 I know. I haven't read the second chapter yet, but I'm curious to see where this will go when you're done with Voices.
Sweet story with a great moral. 10/10.
" I know I can be pretty awesome at times, but what's to stop you from being awesome just the way you are?"
Mind if I use that quote on my blog? I'll include a link to your story.