• Member Since 10th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 15 minutes ago

flawlessvictory20


T

I will always remember that day...the day when I lost everything. It seemed like a normal day. My mom dropped me off for my first day of school, I met a few of my classmates, I even met an interesting orange filly. But that all change when there was a rumbling resonated through Ponyville. Now I have nothing left... No home and no family. My name is Golden Wings...and this is my story.

This will be a First-pony POV OCxScoots fic

This story was given to me with permission from Griffon Claw.

Editors: The Notebook and Sycamore

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 32 )

My name is Goden Wings and thisis my story.

Always double-check your spelling. Wouldn't want to appear lazy, now would we?

Romance Tragedy Sad Slice of Life Alternate Universe

That is way too many categories. Is this story going to have a sad ending? Because that's what Tragedy means. Is it going to be Sad all the way through, or is the predominant theme Scootaloo×OC Romance? Is this story about daily life (a Slice of Life), or is it an unusual event that starts with "rumbling resonat[ing] through Ponyville"? If non-OC characters are acting like their canon counterparts, then why is this categorized as an Alternate Universe?

“Well they're pretty simple. There's no running in the house, no yelling, be home by nightfall, bedtime 10 o'clock sharp, and don't be at dinner on time,” she explains. “But the most important rule here is...no talking back to Ms. Hooves. EVER!”

Don't should be erased.

Ms. Hooves seems like a sadistic bitch and I love it. How'd you get great characterization like that. I mean faking being nice is just perfect. Yet there are a few errors in the story itself. Overall great story so far. I WANT MORE :flutterrage:

Also you might want to take out the 'a' before Cerberus as there is only one.

3766187 Thank you.:pinkiehappy: It was fun coming up with her fake persona. And don't worry more is on the way:ajsmug:

Editor's Comment:

... I can't say there is anything wrong with it past a few grammar errors from that bad habit of yours... I can however tell you this, your getting better about it. If you can lengthen the scenes where emotion or something happens and make them just a tad longer that would make this PONYTASTIC!

4164043 Hmm... you do have a point there. Maybe you can PM me with some suggestions

Sorry thumbs down for the following problems
1.) poor name choice- for shy. In mlp their name reflect something about them.
2.) wings is taking mothers death like he forgot to brush his teeth.
3.) wings is too smart.
4.) grammatical errors

Please get editor and proofreader

4164686 I'm referring to the first chapter when he was seeing his mother dying in his hooves.

4164884 other than those I'd say pretty good story. I'd advise for a proofreader and editor. Please keep up good work.

Hello! I've been sent here by one of your friends, and I have to say, this isn't half bad! It definitely deserves all those thumbs up!

this sounds like a great story! I'm definitely gonna read it, and the description.. Well it sounds like an fnaf crossover somehow- which to me only makes it sounds better:twilightsheepish:

7056305 no. I've actually been working on the other chapters but I'm putting focus on another project

Well I'll just put the knife back where it was. I do believe that this story is dead. Rip

7601955 oh it's not dead. I've actually written it out to its conclusion. I'm just focusing on projects right now. I will come back to it soon

Sorry to ask this, but is this story dead?

7917740 nope. currently working on chapter 04 as we speak:twilightsmile:

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