Defending the Farm
Big Mac paused, then swiveled his ears toward the sound of a heavy sigh. Leaning around a corner of the farmhouse, he spied Apple Bloom sitting on the rough wooden fence that separated the south fields from the farmhouse hub. The stallion chuckled to himself as Apple Bloom sighed again, absently plucking a twig from a nearby tree and pulling the leaves from it one by one. He knew that sigh well. He'd heard it countless times from Applejack when she was Apple Bloom's age.
“What’s goin' on?” Big Mac said as he sidled up to the glum filly.
Apple Bloom started a little at his sudden appearance. “Oh, hey! Nothin’. Just bored.” The filly tossed the twig aside after pulling a final leaf from it. “Sweetie Belle’s off with her parents, and Scootaloo’s practicin’ with Rainbow Dash.” Apple Bloom hung her head. “Twist can’t come out, either. She’s grounded.” Apple Bloom frowned deeply as she twirled the leaf's stem in her hoof before letting it drop. “Applejack told me to quit gettin’ underhoof, so I’m tryin’ to think of somethin’ to do.”
A lopsided grin stretched across Big Mac’s face. “Well, there’s always things to do here on the farm.”.
“That’s what Applejack’s always tellin’ me, too!” Apple Bloom rested her chin on her hooves with another heavy sigh. “But I’ve been doin’ chores all mornin’!”
Big Mac quickly looked over his shoulder, then dropped his voice low. “But what about the most important chore?”
“Huh?” Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow at her brother. “Whattaya mean? I already slopped the hogs, swept the kitchen, and then—”
Big Mac reached over and dragged Apple Bloom closer to him while he whispered into her ear. “I’m talkin’ about keepin’ the farm safe…” he said, his eyes darting left and right.
“Big Mac, are you feelin’—”
“…from apple ninjas!” Big Mac stomped on a nearby rake, sending it spinning into the air. With a fluid grace that was uncommon of a stallion his size, he leapt after the rake, catching it in his forehooves while standing upright, ready for battle. Screwing his face up in mock ferocity, he leapt again, smashing the rake into a tall pile of hay as he descended. “Yah!”
“Big Mac!” Apple Bloom said through an escalating series of giggles. “What in Equestria—”
“Whoa!” Wide-eyed, Big Mac backpedaled, but didn’t quite escape the collapsing hay before it fell on him. “AARGH!” Thrashing helplessly, he tipped his head back, shooting a pleading look to his sister. Big Mac fought to keep up the act as his sister broke into full belly laugh.
“Hey, you can’t do that to my brother!” Apple Bloom leapt off the fence. Scooping up a fallen branch with her mouth, she charged at the ninja. “’Ou ’et offa ’im!” She whipped the stick back and forth, and her large bow flapped behind her as she leapt onto the ninja. “’Ake ’AT! An’ ’AT!” she said, pounding the vicious hay with all of her might.
Big Mac laughed and put his hooves up to ward away Apple Bloom’s wild strikes. “I think you got him, but what about the rest of the farm?" He took his sister’s face between both of his hooves and drew her in close. “What if they get into the barn and steal the harvest?” he said, his voice dripping with concern.
Apple Bloom hid her giggles behind her hooves while she wiggled out of Big Mac’s grip. “Well, I reckon we’ll just have to go clear ’em out! But look!” She gasped and pointed to the ground around them. “There’s traps all over the place!" She turned back, standing on Big Mac’s wide chest. “You’re too big! You’ll never get out with your big ol’ hooves!”
“Nope!” Big Mac narrowed his eyes and rubbed his chin with a hoof as he scrutinized the lethal traps. His sister was right. There were far to many for a stallion of his size. “You’re gonna have to carry me!”
Apple Bloom jumped to the ground, then stood momentarily on her hind legs to flex. “Good thing us Apples are so strong!” she said before setting her shoulder against her brother and pushing. With a groan, he slowly turned over onto his stomach. “It’s gonna be tough, but I won’t letcha down!” Apple Bloom grunted and strained as she pushed her way under Big Mac’s prone chest. “Ugh! Even with super strength, you’re pretty heavy, big brother!”
“Eeyup, but I got a feelin’ you’re even stronger than I am." Squatting just enough to settle a bit of his chest's weight onto the filly, he crawled forward. “I’m countin’ on you!" Below him, Apple Bloom snorted out muffled laughter, which turned into a wheeze as Big Mac slowly let a little more weight settle onto her before rising again. Grinning, he violently trembled. “I-I’m scared, sis!”
“Don’t—oof!” Apple Bloom stumbled, then leaned into the task with greater determination. “Don’t you… worry! I’ll get… us outta here!”
Big Mac tipped left. “Whoa!” he said, his voice quavering. “We’re gonna step on a trap!"
Below him, Apple Bloom labored to carry him off to the right. “Not… if I can… help it!”
Big Mac overcorrected, glad his sister couldn’t see his grin when she careened off the path. “I-is that a pit of alligators we’re headed for?” he said in a panicky voice.
“Big Mac!” Apple Bloom fought back another bout of giggles. “Ninjas don’t have alligators!”
“Then how come all them gators have black suits and throwin’ stars? Oh, no!” Big Mac threw his weight still further to the right, pulling his sister off balance. “I’m goin’ in! I’m done for!”
“Not if Apple Bloom has anythin’ to say about it!” The filly grabbed his hoof and pulled with all of her might. “I’m ain't lettin’ you fall!”
Big Mac shot a wide-eyed glance behind him as he lay on the ground, kicking his hind legs. “They’re tryin’ to bite me!” he tightened his grip on his sister’s tiny hooves. “If I d-don’t make it, tell AJ she still can’t have my room!”
“Nothin’ doin’!” Apple Bloom growled through gritted her teeth while she fought to pull the massive stallion from the deadly pit. “I’d never leave an Apple behind!” As she took steps backward, Big Mac scooched his body toward her with his rear hooves, maintaining the illusion of her vast might.
Back from certain death, Big Mac wiped his brow. “Good thing you were around, today! I just don’t know what I woulda done if you’d gone off with your friends!" Climbing back to his hooves, he dusted himself off, then squinted at the path that led to the barn. “Looks like it’s clear from here on out. C’mon, let’s go check in there!”
Apple Bloom cautiously peered around one of Big Mac’s tree trunk-sized legs while he slowly pushed the barn door open. She stared left as he peered at the darkened corners on the right, then, twisting their necks in unison, they slowly traded sides.
“Looks like it’s all clear!” Apple Bloom whispered, looking up at her brother.
“Gotta be careful. They could be hidin’ anywhere.”
The pair tip-toed in. As they hid behind a pile of burlap sacks, Big Mac wrapped his hoof around his sister and lifted her high into the air. “See anythin’?”
Apple Bloom held her hoof above her eyes and scanned the barn. “Nope, but that don’t mean a whole lot. They’re ninjas, after all." She tapped Mac’s hoof with her own, and he put her down. “I think we’re just gonna have to search the place top to bottom. You go that way—” Apple Bloom pointed to a dark and gloomy corner of the barn “—and I’ll go this way." Winking, she trotted in the other direction.
Big Mac crouched, sneaking his way through the barn. When he reached the Apple’s worn wagon, he paused, pressing his back against it. He was just planning the mission's next step when he caught a flash of pink from his sister’s bow as she ran along the opposite wall. Arriving at a new hiding spot, his nose caught the pungent aroma of overly ripe apples, and a wicked thought floated through his mind. As quietly as he could, Big Mac removed the barrel’s lid and fished out several of the mushiest pieces of fruit that he could find. “Apple Bloom, watch out!”
“Huh?” his sister popped up from behind a row of weather-worn boxes. “Watch out for—oof!" Apple Bloom’s head snapped back as a squishy apple smacked into her forehead with a flabby splat.
Big Mac smirked. “Oops. Guess I missed him.”
“Oh, you missed, huh?” Apple Bloom threw the lid off of a nearby barrel. Plunging most of her body in, she scooped out a legful of half-moldy apples. Tossing one lightly into the air and catching it repeatedly in her hoof, she grinned savagely at her brother. “Wonder how many I can miss, too?”
Moments later, the air was filled with rotten apples. Big Mac pulled the heavy barrel in front of him, using it both as a shield and an ammunition source, but he found himself outmaneuvered. Apple Bloom’s superior cornering ability, paired with youthful speed and small size, allowed her to squeeze through small openings and pelt him with hooffulls of squishy apples.
“Nope!” he said when she nailed him in the back of the head.
The filly tried to scamper away, but she screamed as he scooped her up, holding her threateningly over the half-filled barrel. “Big Mac!” Apple Bloom panted and held her hooves beseechingly in front of her face. “You wouldn’t...”
Big Mac hoisted his sister up to eye level. They stared at each other for a long moment. “I would,” he finally said.
Apple Bloom’s screech echoed through the barn when he dropped her into the barrel, and Big Mac burst out laughing when she resurfaced, covered ear to hoof in apples. Thrashing and sputtering, Apple Bloom tried to climb out, but fell back several times, her slick hooves scrambling for purchase. “Big Mac, you’re so gonna get it!” Half-buried in the cloying slurry, she gripped the top of the barrel and heaved herself out. “Take this!” The apple-covered missile of vengeance launched herself at her brother.
Big Mac’s eyes grew wide while he backpedaled, but he was too close. With a splat, Apple Bloom landed on his face, and he fell over, taking particular care to wrap his hoof around his sister so that she didn’t fall on anything dangerous.
“Yeah, how do you like it?” Apple Bloom fought to maintain the fury in her voice, but broke up into snorting laughter halfway through. Wiggling and shaking, she made sure that she wiped as much of the rotten apple mixture onto Big Mac as she possible could. “Had enough? Oh, what’s that? You want some more?”
“Nope!” Big Mac sniggered and threw his hooves up between them to shield his face from the rain of apple chunks.
“What in tarnation is goin’ on in here?!”
Big Mac and Apple Bloom froze, staring at each other in horror momentarily before lifting their heads up to see their angry sister standing in the barn’s doorway.
“Y’all done coated the whole barn in month-old apples!” she thrust her hoof toward a particularly messy pile near the wagon. “I hope you two got a lot of free time on your hooves, ’cause…”
While Applejack continued to berate the pair, Big Mac cupped Apple Bloom’s ear with a hoof. “Ain’t that the head ninja?”
Apple Bloom’s eyes flew wide, then narrowed. She rubbed her hooves together. “Now that you mention it…”
Applejack shrieked and covered her face with her hat as several rotten apples peppered her. Glancing at the mushy missiles that now oozed down her side, she smirked, then dove for a barrel. “Y’all just made the worst decision of your lives!”
“C’mon, y’all. We gotta get this mess washed off of us before we get attacked by bees or somethin’." Exiting the mostly cleaned barn, Applejack trotted off toward the farmhouse.
“Hey, AJ,” Big Mac called after her while closing up the barn. Riding on his shoulders, Apple Bloom pulled the door’s large wooden latch into place. “You think the Launcher’s still there?”
“The Launcher?” Applejack pushed her hat back to scratch behind an ear. “What in Equestria do you—oh!" She glanced over at Apple Bloom, and a slow smile crept across her face.
Apple Bloom placed her front hooves on the top of Big Mac’s head and leaned over to look him in the eyes. “What’s the Launcher?”
“I can’t believe we ain’t never shown that thing to you before!” Applejack reversed direction and broke into a brisk trot. “Mac and I used to spend whole days at a time there when we were little.”
“But what is it?” the filly said, throwing her hooves wide before losing her balance. Slipping, she wrapped her forelegs around his head to keep from falling, then blushed when he pushed them out of his eyes. “Sorry!” she whispered.
Applejack shot a wide grin over her shoulder. “You just wait and see! If it’s still workin’, you’re gonna love it. If it ain’t, we’ll fix it up lickety-split!”
After several minutes of vigorous trotting, the trio arrived at Sweet Apple Acres’ large pond. “Well, here we are!” Applejack said.
Apple Bloom look it in for a moment, then cocked an eyebrow at her sister. “What’s so special about the pond?”
“It ain’t the pond, exactly. It’s what we built for it.” Applejack pointed to the spot where their brother had just trotted off to. “Now you just watch.”
Big Mac made his way to a nearby grove, fighting through a tangled bramble of overgrown berry bushes and wild trees. After several minutes of struggle, he muscled his way through to a hidden wooden shed that had been the Apple childrens’ secret spot before they’d build the clubhouse. He closed his hoof around the rusted handle and pulled, surprised to find that the door still swung open with relative ease. Entering the cramped shack, he pulled a rotting tarp from a hulking shape in the middle of the floor and coughed as dust filled the air.
Beneath it, the Launcher sat, sturdy as the day they’d built it. Big Mac grinned while he pushed and prodded at the see-saw-like device, nodding at the enduring solidity of it. Satisfied, he dragged it out outside and forced his way back through the hole he had created in the foliage.
“Whoa!” Apple Bloom's jaw dropped while her brother pushed the Launcher out to the pond’s edge. “Did y’all shoot each other into the air with that thing?” she said, staring up at Applejack.
“Yup!” Her sister pointed to a stony ridge just above the sides of the teeter-totter. “Y’see that rocky spot?”
Apple Bloom's excited eyes gleamed. “Uh huh!”
“Well, we took turns jumpin’ off that place onto the board while the other person stood on the end there. They’d get launched up into the air and fall in the pond. That’s why we called it the Launcher!" Applejack grinning and mussed Apple Bloom’s hair for a moment before snatching her hoof back. Blinking, Applejack stared down at her sister.
Still covered head to hoof in sticky, drying fruit, Apple Bloom’s mane stood up in several odd directions, and two long apple peels stubbornly clung just below her nostrils. “What?” Apple Bloom finally asked.
“Oh, uh… nothin’.” Applejack bit her lip and waded into the pond. Several suspicious snorts escaped from her while she scooped up hooffuls of water to rub away the sticky bits of apple that were matting her fur. “Why don’t you run on over there and give the Launcher a try?”
“Okay!” Apple Bloom ran several feet before skidding to a stop. “Wait, ain’t you comin’?” she said, frowning a little.
“Oh, sugarcube, I wish I could—” Applejack scrubbed harder at a particularly sticky spot, “—but I still got chores to do before it gets to be too late.”
Apple Bloom's brow furrowed. “But—”
Applejack looked away for a moment, then sighed. “If I got time, and y’all’re still here, I’ll take a few turns. I promise.”
“Well, okay.” Apple Bloom glanced up to the sun. It was already hanging low in the late summer sky. “But you better hurry up!”
“Will do!” Applejack poked a hoof over to where the Launcher sat. “Now run along. Big Mac's waitin’ for you!”
“Big Mac, are you sure about this?” Apple Bloom’s voice quavered a bit. Suddenly, the ridge that her brother was standing on seemed very high, and he looked very, very heavy.
He grinned down at her. “Eeyup!”
“But weren’t you a lot, uh… smaller when you did this before?”
Big Mac rubbed his hooves together. “Eeyup, but that just means you’ll go higher! AJ and I used to do this for hours! Ready?”
“I guess…” Apple Bloom's knees knocked as she stood on the lower end of the Launcher’s pivoting board. “I mean, NO!” she cried when Big Mac jumped from the ridge. “AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Apple Bloom flew several yards into the air before into the pond with a gigantic splash. Surfacing, she punched her hoof high overhead and whooped. “That was the best, Big Mac!”
“Then come on back and do it again!”
“Okay!”
Apple Bloom yawned widely while she clung to Big Mac’s shaggy mane. She’d been so tired from the day’s activities that she’d tripped several times on the way back to the farmhouse. Eventually, Big Mac had scooped her up and placed her on his wide back so that she wouldn’t hurt herself. “Applejack didn't come back. She's never around,” she said sadly through a second yawn.
“Apple Bloom, let me tell you a little bit about your sister.” The playful lilt that had been in Big Mac's soft voice all day disappeared, and Apple Bloom’s ears perked up as she threw her hooves around his massive neck. “Applejack's a pretty special pony in a lot of ways. With our parents gone, she had to start bein' responsible way too early. She’s run the business end of the farm all by herself for years now." Big Mac sighed, dropping his head a bit. “I wish I could say that I’ve been a big help, but—”
“Big Mac, you’re the best brother ever!” Apple Bloom squeezed his neck. She could feel the heat rise along it when the blood rushed to his face.
“Maybe I’m a good brother, but I ain’t a good partner.” He turned his head so that he could see Apple Bloom with his left eye. “I ain’t the best with crowds, or… just talkin’ to ponies, in general. My tongue gets all tied up, and all I can say is ‘eeyup’ and ‘nope’. AJ’s got to do all that stuff, plus her share of the chores. I try to do more around the farm, but there’s only so many ways that I can help.” Big Mac walked silently for a moment, then sighed heavily. “Today’s my one day off a week, but I still feel guilty that I ain’t doin’ more for her.”
“I guess I never thought of it that way…” Apple Bloom sat down between Big Mac’s shoulder blades and grabbed ahold of the tines on his yoke. “We might lose the whole farm if she messes up, huh?”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac dropped his eyes back to the road once more. “Your sister was already carryin’ a heavy load before she became one of Equestria’s chosen guardians, and now she’s got a lot more than the farm to worry about.”
“Wow, Applejack’s pretty amazing!” Apple Bloom’s voice was filled with wonder.
“Eeyup. So try to cut her some slack when she can’t be around as much as you'd like. It eats at her somethin’ fierce when she can’t spend as much time with you as she’d like.”
Big Mac fell silent while he trudged steadying up the gravel path to the farmhouse, but stopped when he heard a small sniffle. “Hey, what’s this?” he said, plucking the filly from where she sat. He carefully wiped a small tear from her cheek.
“I… I just feel bad for all the times I was sore at her for not bein' there. I wasn’t thinkin’ about how hard it was on her.”
Big Mac hugged her, patting the filly gently on the back while she hiccuped. “Shh. Nopony thinks any less of you for missin’ your sister. You can’t help the way you feel, and you can’t know about all the stuff she goes through 'til somepony tells you." Big Mac held Apple Bloom out in front of him. “And that’s why I am tellin’ you.” He twisted around to set his sister down on his back again before turning to walk back to the farmhouse. It was starting to get very dark, and he wanted to get his Apple Bloom tucked into bed. “As you get older, you’ll appreciate your sister more and more. There ain’t never been no harder workin’ pony in all of Equestria.”
“Don’t forget about my big brother,” Apple Bloom said around yet another yawn. “He’s special, too!” The filly wrapped her hooves around his neck again, squeezing. “Thanks for playin’ with me today!" She felt him flush again, and she grinned as she lay down on his broad back. The gentle back and forth rocking motion of his stride was making it very difficult for her to keep her eyes open.
“Oh, I reckon I’m not too special,” Big Mac replied softly. “You can find a strong back anywhere in Equestria. But your sister and your granny, well—” Big Mac stopped abruptly when he heard a tiny snore from between his shoulder blades. He craned his neck around, turning to see his little sister curled up like a cat, fast asleep. “I’ve never have been too good with words, Apple Bloom,” he said quietly, “but I hope you know that I'll always be here if you need me." Treading lightly, he made his way back to the warm glow of the Apple farmhouse.
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A really nice view into a helpful family day on the farm. Especially when bigMac flipped the rake up like that, when teh standard modus operandi is that the rake is itself a ninja weapon, waiting hidden for its next victim to pass by.
Um, when getting the launcher, theres a double hidden?.. I apologise for not being able to remember where teh other minor error was I spotted, or any others.
Thank you.
3560897 Thanks! I'll go fix it right now, and I'm happy you enjoyed the story!
Now this... This is a very good look at the relaxed portion of their day.
Loved it!
~Skeeter The Lurker
3560993 Thanks! I just really wanted a simple story telling why the Apples are so close. I think Big Mac would be a really good older brother, and I wanted to show that.
3561000
You certainly succeeded.
That's for sure!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Besides the grammar errors, this one was all too cute. Have a smug AJ!
3561363 Oops! Do you remember any of them? I'd like to correct them if you do.
EDIT: Grrr! I am finding a ton. Man, why can't I ever weed them all out the first go around?! Thanks for the heads up!
Extremely adorable to the nth degree. It really is nice to see a [slice of life] fic that's on the innocent side of things, plus it made me laugh...so there's that.
3561377 Obviously you need an AWESOME
editor.
Hint hint hint
That was damn sweet. A cute one shot for sure, and pretty well written to boot. Loved your rendition of mac
3561496 Thanks! I kinda went back and forth about whether this should have a comedy tag or not. Ultimately, I didn't think it was consistently funny enough to have it, but I did want it to be a fun read.
3562412 Well, I may call on you for such services. You just let me know if you see any more errors in this story. I went through and squashed a bunch yesterday, so hopefully it's in pretty good shape. I'm terrible about grammar, though.
3563171 Thank you! I really wanted a story that displayed why the Apples are a close family. I think Big Mac is a hard worker at everything he does, and being a brother is one of those things. He does a good job.
3563684 That just gave me a really funny idea for a story. Imagine a changeling who uses his or her magic to throw lots of little typos into the research papers of various professors at Canterlot University, then gets him or herself hired as a an editor, to fix those same mistakes he or she created. They then feed off of the gratitude ponies have for them and their editing abilities. :P
3563684
Should be pointing.
Technically this should be "There're" since "traps" is plural, but I can write this off as a character making the mistake, not the author.
does this mean she no longer is "carrying" him?
should be "traded"
Should be "pointing"
Ewwwwwww!
I that "of" should be "out". Why do the apples have rotten fruit sitting around? I thought they managed their farm better than that.
I'm not sure that "repeated" should be there?
Missing an "it" before "both".
cloy
kloi/Submit
verb
gerund or present participle: cloying
1.
disgust or sicken (someone) with an excess of sweetness, richness, or sentiment.
"a romantic, rather cloying story"
synonyms: sickly, syrupy, saccharine, oversweet; sickening, nauseating; mawkish, sentimental, twee; informalover the top, mushy, slushy, sloppy, gooey, cheesy, corny, cornball, sappy
"her romance novels are too cloying for my taste"
Origin
used in a sentence
after about three minutes of research I found that cloy can be used both literally and metaphorically, so you're all good.
How do you like them apples?
"as" should be "at"
HEY HEY HEY STAY OUT OF MY SHED!
I get what you're going at, I'm not sure tarps can rot? after 5 minutes on Wikipedia, still not sure. "disintegrating" maybe? eh, it's fine how it is.
most of the other times you have "the" not capitalized.
Shouldn't the "said" her be an "asked" or other similar question verb?
great example of subtle scene building.
two times in a row you miss the end quotation marks.
is that actually possible to feel? I'm asking honestly, I don't know.
was he wearing it the whole time?
missing end quotation marks.
again, "said" vs. "asked"
Awwww, a very sweet story :)
3563956 Whoa, man. Thanks for all of that! Seriously, it's a big help.
Sigh, this experiment was certainly a failure. I was hoping I could trust myself at this point to just format properly, but obviously, I'm wrong. Lesson probably not learned, but at least reinforced…
Oh, and tarps can certainly rot. They were made out of canvas before they made plastic tarps. And yes, Big Mac never goes out without his yoke on.
3564086 just for fun, I'd be curious, if you chose one of my own short stories that sounded interesting to you, and went through it like I did to yours, see if you caught mistakes. Right now at least, my stories are 100% self edited.
3564117 I'll try to take a look at one later today.
3564086
If you aren't already, make sure you leave at least a several hour gap between proofreading passes (yup, there should be more than one). Helps make you more likely to read what you actually wrote, rather than what you think you wrote
3565022 I read this many times over the course of a few days, but I'm not a great reader. That's the problem. I tend to speed read naturally. It makes me finish books very quickly, but I only get about a quarter of what really goes on. I know the plot, but I often miss details. I have to re-read books several times before I get the whole thing.
My stories are the same, except that I already know what is going to happen, so the speed reading is worse. I should take the suggestion that I've heard many times and read them out loud. That would probably help. I think I may start doing that. Hopefully, this fic has been filtered by now and I can stop feeling embarrassed about it. Never again will I publish a non-Cheerilee chapter without outside editors.
3565113
Well, here's one more for you:
Period after "barn", lowercase 'b' in "but". One of those has to go.
Also, unless I'm mistaken, the first letter of a sentence gets capitalized and an apostrophe doesn't change that. “’ou ’et off of ’im!” ==> “’Ou ’et off of ’im!” Looks strange at times, admittedly. Although, it mostly happens in old books for words like 'tis and 'twas. Oh, and 'cause. That one still gets used even today. That paragraph has an 'ake as well as a sentence starter.
3565370 Oops, yeah. That sentence should end in a comma.
I'll have to look into that capitalization thing. It makes a certain amount of sense, but I've never heard of that rule before. Of course, I've never LOOKED for that rule before, so there's that…
Thanks of the edits. I was just combing through it and I found two more in the last half of the story. I'm reading end to beginning this time.
3565483
It's one of those things where it doesn't come up often enough for there to be a rule, I think. I did some digging for one and failed to find anything anyway. But in most cases where it is used, and definitely in the cases where the contraction is somewhat more common, the letter after the apostrophe gets capitalized.
So, you can go either way, but convention seems to be for the capital letter. No matter which you choose to go with, it'll look a bit strange
I guess the best thing to do is to ask yourself if you would write "'Twas the night before Christmas" or "'twas the night before Christmas". That way, you'll be internally consistent.
3565506 Your suggestion makes sense, so I changed it to reflect that. It's a nice thing to add to my growing list of grammar tools.
It's good, I approve.
I read a fic where Mac and Dash weren't in a relationship and I liked it? This story was goood :D
3566777>>3569244 Thanks, guys! I really appreciate when you guys read my stuff. It keeps me inspired!
Finally I see a story doing the best stallion justice! Made my insides feel all warm and fuzzy as well, something that fics don't often do for me, so kudos to writing yet another winner
3571339 Thanks, man! I know it's not an epic tale of epicness, but I like it. I've always seen Big Mac as a quiet hero. Just putting his head down and doing what needs to be done, especially when what needs to be done is being there for his sister.
Dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
3571891 I'm glad you like it! See, I can do other things besides make Cheerilee miserable!
i14.photobucket.com/albums/a331/brittmcgee/MLP%20Minecraft/TLSOA_zps2aa17c49.png
Mmm, mixed reaction here.
On the one hand, it's innocent, sweet, and there is quite a bit of heart in the planning. That alone would set it on the scale of good compared to the self-important dreck out there. Yet it failed to draw me in; it's very much Your Mileage May Vary for me, with mileage in this case being acceptance for extended imagination sequences. Kinda like the main theme of most Pipsqueak fics when it first started, and even then I wasn't a fan of it - simply because imagination sequences are always best when they are one's own. Secondhand games, ones that you can't even play along with, just aren't that fun.
To get all technical about it, I'd call it "interactional variety". A variety of interactions creates depth and gives characters the chance to be in more than just one state. For a good deal of the fic, it was "Apple Bloom plays with Big Mac and later with AJ", without much variety in the dynamic. That is what the fic is. It's not to say that the fic, inherently, has nothing interesting. It's just that the fic, inherently, has nothing interesting for me. inb4 "why are you reading this then" - I was expecting... more, I guess, in the way of dynamics.
So I guess it's nice if you enjoy sentiment and evident good will. But for me, the little bit of variety at the end just wasn't enough; aside from those, I couldn't find much else to peruse. You still get a like for clean grammar and good, simple prose, as well as good dialogue.
3602080 Thank you for reading this and taking the time to comment on it. A critical eye is always appreciated.
This story is was an experiment for me. I've never written anything like it before, so I wanted to see if I could get something innocent and sweet onto the page. I think it was a moderate success, but I do agree that it could be better at drawing the reader in. It's really just a meandering series of events, rather than a true story. Now that I feel that I've successfully evoked a lot of the emotion I was going for, I'll work on a better story the next time around.
Approved for the sibling story stockpile.
3615031 Thank you!
3615048 if you know of any other stories, feel free to put them in the incoming folder, I want to fill up the archives.
i will have to read the rest of this tomorrow i am a tired teddy
I only have one thing to say: D'AAWWWW!
3786976 I'm very pleased that you enjoyed it. It was a really different kind of story for me to write, so it's nice to know that people like it.
Well, that was full of feels. I went from laughing and d'awwing to getting all sad but then it ended with a big spoon of sugar. Big Mac doesn't seem to give himself much credit. Good thing Apple Bloom is there to tell him.
Aside from that odd Twist moment that just felt more like "I feel bad for Twist" or "Apple Bloom doesn't abandon a friend for getting a cutie mark" mention in what is otherwise a perfect and adorable story, that one part just felt weird. But its cute to think she still might consider her a friend still. Besides, they both have friends to keep them occupied so it ain't like either of them is a sad pony.
This was a wonderful family episode. If only we got more episodes that would focus on stuff like this. Big Mac needs more screen time to do stuff beyond Eyups and Nopes.
3801941 I'm so happy that you liked this!
As for the Twist, it's never sat well with me that they basically just wrote her out of Apple Bloom's life. Perhaps I could have done her mention a little more elegantly, though. I'll have to go back and read it again.
3801962 To be honest, I never much liked that part either as it left me seeing Apple Bloom and Twist never really being close, or at the very least AB hung out with Twist because she was the only other blank flank in class which makes it all the more probable when you see how she overreacts to Twist getting her Cutie Mark on the day they were going to go to the party.
I'd like to think Twist is happy at least. She never seemed like one who put too much focus on things out of her control. Which is what I like about her since she just puts time into what she can and makes the most of it. She got her cutie mark, a coltfriend, and even if AB and her two friends don't play with Twist, I'm sure Twist has plenty of others to play with.
You should give a Twist story a shot. See what you can do for the little filly. Maybe a how things were when they were all blankflanks. How they met, why they became friends, why they went their separate ways.
Re-watch some episodes like Call of the Cutie and Cutie Pox (Twist appears 07:37 into the episode) and make up your own mind if you want to build off those moments or just make up your own better ones. If you aren't already, there is a Twist group you might find enjoyable. I can get the link if you wish.
But, yeah, Twist here felt like an aside, a *even Twist* wasn't around (last resort) type of mention. Not to mention she being grounded made me chuckle. What did she do I wonder? Eat her mommy's donuts? XD
But believe me when I say it doesn't make me love this story any less. Rather cute she even got a mention at all.
3802095 I'm actually surprised I haven't written a Twist story yet. She's really the kind of thing that I would write about. I like the little unexplored sectors of MLP. Maybe I will start thinking of something involving Twist.
3802138 I'll look forward to it. I am totally with you on the fun one can have with the more unexplored and missed untapped potentials of the ponyverse. And to think I'd end up running a DT group with a couple others. Things sure has evolved in the past months with that group.
Here's to original stories and those poor unsung ponies who are lost in the background and/or vastly underrated!
Awe that was sweet
4094272 Hey, thanks for reading this! It feels like it's been forever since someone had something to say about this little story. I know it's not much, but I really like it. I'm glad you did, too!
4094295 Please write more...I sooooooo love Bic Mac
Sniffle.....it was alright....ok it was pretty damn good. Having siblings makes me relate
That was quite enjoyable to read. Slice of Life at it's finest.
I know this is rather belated, but thanks for writing!