A Better Future
„Ugh, this is hopeless!” Twilight groaned. A group of Pinkie Pies stormed away near her and Spike. They were walking on the streets of Ponyville, trying to figure out, who the real Pinkie Pie is. The drawback of Twilight’s spell was that it could also send back the real Pinkie Pie into the Mirror Pond, losing her forever. This was a risk that Twilight wanted to avoid at any cost.
Spike looked to their left, and pointed to something. “Maybe that one's the real Pinkie.”
Twilight glanced in the direction where Spike was looking. A Pinkie Pie was kneeling in front of a table, with her right ear on it. She was poking the ground with her hooves. She glanced up at them with sad eyes.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Please. The real Pinkie Pie never sat that long in one place her whole life!”
“I’m gonna go ask,” Spike said.
Twilight raised her hoof and glanced upwards. “Of course she's gonna say she's the real Pinkie! They all do! You're wasting your time!”
Spike ignored Twilight and jogged to Pinkie Pie. He stared at the depressed mare. “So lemme guess.” He stepped away “You're the real Pinkie Pie.”
The Pinkie Pie didn’t even raise her head. “Heck if I know. Could be any one of us if you ask me.”
Spike blinked. That was not the answer he expected. Twilight slowly walked to them. When Spike glanced up on Twilight, the unicorn shrugged.
The Pinkie continued, “And if I said I was the real Pinkie, you wouldn't even believe me anyway.” She got up from the table, and started walking away. “So just leave me alone. I've got some important poking the ground with my hoof to do.” She hung her head down.
“Oh, Spike, how're we gonna do this? I can't risk sending the real Pinkie back into the pond,” Twilight said. She turned, and tried to walk away.
Spike grabbed her tail. “Twilight wait!”
Twilight looked back to the young dragon. “What, Spike?”
Spike closed his eyes for a second. “I think I know a way, but it's not gonna be easy.”
Twilight jumped to Spike and stared into his eyes “Spike, it doesn’t matter, just tell me!”
Spike motioned Twilight to bend down. He whispered something long into her ears.
“What? That is… No!” She shook her head “I have about a one to thirty chance that this is the real Pinkie Pie, and if I tell this to the real one, she'll never forgive me!”
“Twilight.” He grabbed her leg. “We both want the old Pinkie Pie back. And I’m sure she wants us back too.” He motioned to the Pinkie Pie, who was staring at them. Big tears were flowing down from her cheek.
“Look Twilight, she's crying now. If that's not the real Pinkie, then I'm a bird!”
Twilight frowned and examined the pink pony. “Ah Spike,” Twilight said. “What if she's acting? I need a real proof!” She stomped on the ground, then sighed. “Are you sure this will work?”
Spike nodded. “I remember exactly what happened last time. Only the real Pinkie Pie will pass this.”
Twilight sighed again and walked to the Pinkie Pie, still facing Spike. The Pinkie Pie cleaned her eyes with her hooves. Twilight clenched her eyes for a second, then glared at Pinkie Pie. “I don’t know if you're the real Pinkie Pie or not. But if you meet her, I want you to tell her something. She's got more than enough friends now with all the other Pinkie Pies.” Pinkie’s eyes went wide open. Twilight continued, “Therefore, I don't want to be her friend, and I don't like her parties anymore. Got it?”
The Pinkie Pie’s hair and mane deflated. Her breathing became rapid, and she started shaking. She finally collapsed on the ground with her face down. Rivers of tears were flowing away through her straight mane.
Twilight was shocked by the view. She has never seen Pinkie Pie so depressed in her whole life. The Spirit of Laughter was sobbing and sobbing, not even trying to lift her cheek from the dust. Twilight couldn't bear it anymore. She fall back on her haunches and closed her eyes. After a big breath, she gently lifted up the pink pony with magic and embraced her with her hooves. “Pinkie Pie, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to be sure. I’m sorry. I'm sorry.”
Pinkie Pie's eyes went open by the sudden change in Twilight’s behavior. She stared at the lavender unicorn, who was hugging her tight. “You… you believe me?” Her mane started puffing up.
“I do, Pinkie,” Twilight answered. She cleaned the pink pony's face from the wet dust. “I know that you're more than just somepony who wants fun. You want others to have fun; your friends. I'm really sorry I said that to you.”
Pinkie Pie sighed. Her mane slowly went back to normal. “It’s okay. I’m happy you believe me now.”
“FUN! FUN! FUN!” Another Pinkie horde passed them.
Twilight looked at them. She released Pinkie Pie and stood up on her hooves. “We must solve this once and for all. But first, we need to mark you.” Her horn shimmered, and a blue collar appeared in the air. She levitated it on the real Pinkie's neck, then turned towards the pink madness. “Now, let’s get this done!”
Pinkie jumped on Twilight. “NO! WAIT!”
Twilight looked up at the pink pony, who was standing on her. “Pinkie, what now?”
“What you gonna do with them? I mean… I know they're not me, because I'm me, but they're still me or meish or...”
“I'll send them back to the Mirror Pond.” Twilight interrupted.
“Send them… back?” Pinkie cocked an eyebrow.
“Yes, Pinkie. Now could you get off me?”
“Oh, sorry!” Pinkie smiled and stepped down from Twilight. The unicorn stood up. “Where's everypony else?” Pinkie Pie asked, glancing around. They could see the Pinkie clones and some ponies running away from them, but they couldn't catch a glimpse of any of their friends.
“I don’t know. Spike?”
Spike scratched his head. “Last time when I saw Rarity, she was running to the forest that way.” He pointed to north.
Twilight made a ‘hmph’ sound. “Maybe shooting down the Pinkie Pie clones on the streets would be dangerous; I might hurt somepony else. We need all of them gathered and standing still. And I just happen to know the perfect pony for the task.”
Spike and Pinkie looked at Twilight. “Spike, Pinkie, follow me!” Spike jumped on Twilight’s back, and the two ponies galloped away.
“Are ya sure this is the real Pinkie?” Applejack said, frowning at Pinkie Pie.
Twilight nodded. “Yes, and now we need the rest of them gathered in the town hall so I can send them back where they came from.”
Applejack stepped closer to Pinkie Pie and glared at her. The pink pony shrank at the gaze of Applejack. Then suddenly, Applejack hugged Pinkie. “Aw, sugarcube, I’m so glad you’re back!” Pinkie smiled, and Applejack released her. “But don't think I forgot about the barn.”
Pinkie’s smile withered. “Oh, I’m sorry Applejack. I’m really sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry.”
“Okay now, one sorry is enough.” Applejack smiled. “We'll rebuild that later. I expect ya to come when we do.”
Pinkie nodded. “I will be so there!”
Twilight spoke, “Okay Applejack, you know your role. Pinkie Pie and I will go find the others, and we will end this madness at the town hall.”
“Okay Twi, meet ya both at the hall!” Applejack watched as Twilight and Pinkie Pie galloped away, then glanced behind herself. “Come on Apples! We got a job to do. Yee haw!”
“Hey, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash peeked out of a hole through the roots of a tree. They were all in the forest near Ponyville. “Oh no, another Pinkie!” With that, she rushed back to her hideout. Twilight and Pinkie Pie followed her, sliding into a sanctuary under the tree. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and a bunch of woodland creatures were hiding inside.
“I've been looking all over for you ponies!” Twilight said.
Pinkie Pie slid in. “Hi, everypony! Is this a party?”
Rarity shrieked. “OH NO, THEY FOUND US!”
Twilight raised a hoof. “Rarity, calm down. This is the real Pinkie Pie.”
Spike jumped down from Twilight’s back. He smiled at the ponies and critters around. “Yeah, it was my idea.” He then glimpsed at Pinkie Pie and stopped smiling. “Which wasn't that nice, but it worked.” He proceeded to tell them, how they had done it.
“Oh my,” Fluttershy said. “I hope you're okay now, Pinkie.”
“Is she okay?” Rainbow Dash yelled. “What about us? That pink storm she released is now destroying Ponyville!”
Pinkie laid down. “I'm sorry girls. I just didn’t want to miss any fun from you because you're my bestest friends.” She smiled at them with wet eyes, but then she hung her head down. “But things got out of my hooves. The other mes, they didn’t listen to me. All they wanted was fun, and I know how fun it is to have fun and I wanted them to have fun, so I told them about you, because it's so much fun with you, but…” She sighed. “I guess they're not really mes.”
Twilight stepped to Pinkie and put her hoof on the pink pony’s shoulders. “There is only one Pinkie Pie, and it's you.” She turned to the others. “Now we have to do two things. First, we have to send the other Pinkie Pies back to the Mirror Pond, then we have to seal it to prevent further complication. Any questions? No? Then let's go!”
“Uhm, Twilight?” Fluttershy said. “I hope you don't mind if I ask, but... What do you mean by ‘sending back’?”
Twilight scratched her head. “Well… From what the spell looked like in the book… It'll puff them up, then undo them into a gas form and make them fly back into the pond and disappear forever. Yeah, that’s it.” She smiled.
Every creature in the sanctuary stared at her.
Twilight grinned nervously, glancing around. “What?”
“Twilight, even if I’m offended by those pink ponies that ruined my shop, that solution is just horrible,” Rarity said. “I mean… undo a life? You cannot undo somepony just because she gave you discomfort. That sounds like murder.”
Twilight gulped.
“Rarity is right, Twilight,” Fluttershy added. “We must help them be good ponies that love their friends, just as the real Pinkie Pie.”
Twilight stared at Fluttershy. “What? How could Ponyville bear thirty Pinkie Pies? That's impossible! Not to mention that what if they're not sentient at all? What if they're just mindless fun-desiring duplicates?”
Everypony went quiet. The critters were looking at each other anxiously as the five ponies were thinking whether those pink things could live or not. However, they couldn’t decide. Although they had seen that the clones were just mindlessly jumping around, causing havoc and shouting ‘fun’, nopony could take the responsibility to give them a death sentence.
Spike raised his voice, “If we must decide whether they're real ponies or not, we must talk to them.” Every creature's attention turned to him. “Applejack must have gathered them into the hall by now. So let’s go there and interrogate them!”
Twilight nodded. “Spike is right. Let’s go, everypony!”
“SIT DOWN!” Twilight yelled. The duplicates sat down in the town hall. Twilight looked down at them from the podium. “Much better.” She walked to the edge and pointed to the nearest clone. “You! What is in your mind now?”
“FUN!” answered the pink pony. The others were about to also yell, but Twilight glared at them.
She pointed to another one. “You! What do you want to do now?”
“FUN!” she answered.
Twilight sighed and walked to another one. “Pinkie clone, if you look at me, what come first to your mind?”
The clone hesitated for a second. “Uhm… Fun?”
Twilight groaned. “Girls, this is pointless. We're getting nowhere.”
Fluttershy turned to the real Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, you said that the first clone listened to you, and it was you who offered to make more clones." Pinkie Pie nodded. Fluttershy continued, "What was the first one like? Did she only just say ‘fun’ and hop around like a bunny?”
Pinkie Pie put her hoof to her check. “Well, at the pond, yes. But later, she said things like ‘I didn't make it!’ and ‘A picnic, with cute little animals’ and then ‘So I didn't do anything fun at all!’. Oh, she was so sad! I look really sad when I'm sad! Then she was crying like a baby, and I was like, ‘Aw, my poor poor me!’ and I hugged her and told her to make more of me. She stopped crying, and we made more mes. Aaaaand you know the rest.”
Twilight nodded. “This first clone seems interesting. Could you find it, Pinkie?”
Pinkie Pie thought for a second. “I don’t know. I could hardly find out that me is me. Now how could I… Oh wait, I know!” She trotted to the end of the podium. The clones were talking with each other or doing something they found fun, while sitting. “Hi Pinkies! Do you want some fun?”
She immediately got their attention. “FUN! FUN” The room echoed from their voice.
“Okay, listen up. It's gonna be a game. Aaaa, guessing game!” The duplicates stopped talking and stared at Pinkie, listening. “I'm going to say the name of a pony, and you have to tell me which one it is. Sounds fun?”
“FUN! FUN!”
Pinkie Pie glanced away. “Okay, I'm gonna say.. Applesauce!”
A clone in the back raised her hoof. “Me, me, me, I know!”
Pinkie Pie pointed at the clone, and the clone pointed at Applejack. Applejack frowned. “What in tarna…”
“Nice one, you got a point!” Pinkie interrupted. The clone grinned. “Now I'm gonna say… Fluttershutter!”
The same clone raised her hoof again, and when Pinkie motioned at her, she pointed at Fluttershy. “Dashie! Bring that me up here!” Pinkie said.
Dash saluted. “I’m on it!” She fetched the clone on the stage.
“Okay, let’s start this again. What is in your mind now?” Twilight asked.
“Fun, I guess,” the clone answered. Twilight facehoofed.
“Uhm, Twilight? I think you're asking the wrong questions,” Fluttershy said.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Fluttershy, if you have better ideas, ask them.” She motioned to the clone.
Fluttershy sighed. She turned to the real Pinkie. “This was the Pinkie Pie that first came to my picnic, wasn’t she?”
“Uhum,” the real Pinkie answered.
Fluttershy nodded and stepped to the clone. “Pinkie, do you remember the white mouse at the picnic?”
The clone nodded.
“What did you feel when he gave you his cheese?”
The clone blinked. “Well. I…" She tiled her head and glanced up. "It was like fun, but not fun. It was like…more fun than fun? I know it sounds silly, it was like fun on fun. And I felt the same when the other me,”—she motioned to the real Pinkie—“hugged me and told me that everything'll be all right. After that, it felt like fun is not that fun, because I want this fun-fun.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Were you with the other Pinkies when they came back to my picnic?”
The clone gave a sad face, but nodded.
“What did you feel?”
The clone sighed. “Well, at first I was like ‘I'll see you and the white mouse again and you'll give me fun-fun again,”—she hung down her head—“but then the other mes ruined everything. You were so angry I didn’t even try to ask for more fun-fun. So I joined the others hoping for fun, but it wasn’t good anymore. There were many ponies in the town who could've given me fun-fun, but they all ran away when they saw the other mes.”
Fluttershy stepped closer, and hugged the clone. “That's called ‘love’, Pinkie.”
The clone was startled by the sudden embrace of the yellow pegasus, but then closed her eyes and smiled. “Wow, this is really good.” After a few seconds, Fluttershy released the clone. The clone looked at the pegasus, blinking. “Can I… Can I give you this ‘love’ also?”
Fluttershy smiled and nodded. The clone grabbed Fluttershy and hugged her hard with eyes closed. Fluttershy gasped for air. “Ah, Pinkie… could you… release me?” she moaned.
The fluffy pony opened her eyes and released Fluttershy in a hurry. “Ah, sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry, I ruined it. Sorry, sorry.”
Fluttershy took a few deep breaths before she turned back to the clone. “It’s okay. With a hug, you can tell your friends that you love them without words. You just hugged me a little… too hard." She sat down and spread her front hooves. "Want to try again?”
The pink pony sat down in front of Fluttershy and hugged her again, without squeezing her. The clone’s eyes became wet. “I'm your… friend?”
Fluttershy smiled. “Yes, Pinkie. I'm happy to call you my friend, if it's okay for you.”
“Okay? This is super...duper...hyper... The best thing ever,” she said, sobbing.
The other clones were watching them; some cried, some sniffed. One of the clones said, “I want friends too.”
The ponies on the stage turned to the rest of the Pinkies. Another said, “Can I also have friends? I want love." She pointed a hoof at the hugging pair. "It looks way better than fun.”
A third chirped in, “Or, we could have fun with friends?" She raised both her hooves towards the ceiling. "I want that!”
The real Pinkie Pie’s eyes became wet at this sight.
Twilight Sparkle sighed and hung her head down. “You were right, girls. They're not mindless clones. They're newborns without memories. Without memories of parents who loved them. Without memories of friends who gave them joy.”
Rarity walked to Twilight and put a hoof on her shoulder. “I know what you feel now Twilight, but you must forgive yourself. You didn’t know who they were at that time, and you only wanted a solution. Just as Pinkie Pie wanted a solution for her problem and didn’t think of the consequences.”
Twilight glanced up at Rarity. “But if you hadn't been there to tell me, I would have…”
“Now, now, enough of that,” Rarity interrupted. “The fact that matters is we were there. We must concentrate on what is and not on what would be”
Twilight gave a weak smile. “Thank you, Rarity.”
“Anytime, Twilight.” She turned to the clones. “Dear... pink ponies. If you wish to have friends, the first thing that you will need is something that your friends can call you.”
“I'm Pinkie Pie!” a clone cried.
“But... I'm Pinkie Pie!” Another nudged the first with a scowl.
“If you allow me to finish,” Rarity said. They all turned to her. “There is already a Pinkie Pie, and she's standing there.” She pointed to the pink pony, who had the blue collar around her neck. “You need to find a name that is unique and describes who you are.”
The duplicates raised a hoof to their cheeks, and looked around.
“Can I be… Pinkie Hug?” a voice said, behind Rarity.
They turned to the first clone.
Applejack shrugged. “As long as it’s not Pinkie Pie, it’s fine for me.”
“Oh, oh! I wanna be Pinkie Hands then!” Another cried.
“What? Why would you call yourself something like that?” a clone next to her asked.
“Beeeeecaaaaaaause… Look what I can do with my hooves!” With that, the clone blew into her hoof, that made small fingers appear on her other one.
“I love birdies!” A clone said, looking through the window. A few birds passed in front of the glass. “I think I'll call myself Pinkie Birdwatcher!”
After half-hour of thinking and talking, all of them gained a unique name, although they all insisted to keep the color in their names that described their appearance.
“But what should we do with them?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I mean, no offense Pinkie Pie, but one of you is more than enough for Ponyville.”
Twilight nodded. “I think I know the solution for this problem. First, we must seal the Mirror Pond, to prevent such a thing happen again. Then, I'll teach these Pinkies the lessons I learned while being your friend. After that, I'll tell this to the Princess and we'll send one Pinkie to each town of Equestria. Or two if we don't have enough towns. Pinkie Pie could cheer up anypony in Ponyville and I'm sure the others will do this service in other towns as well as she does.”
“Sounds like a plan for me,” Spike said.
Rainbow Dash stretched her hooves wide. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s do it!”
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that sometimes a pony wants to solve a problem so much, she doesn’t even think about the consequences of her solution. However, if she turns to her friends before she would actually do it, it can sometimes prevent terrible things to happen.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
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CANNOT CONTAIN RAGE!!! This should've happened!
The episode was bugging me for days. I felt that what Twilight did was murder, even if the others were just memory-less clones of the real Pinkie Pie. I felt that I have to write this down, to give a morally proper ending to the episode. So I did.
edit: If you decide to downvote my story, I respect your opinion. The only thing I ask is please, send me a message in private about what you didn't like in my story. I am still a beginner writer and I need to know my mistakes to improve.
No Pinkie clone genocide?
stream1.gifsoup.com/view/126331/m-bison-yes-o.gif
I always just thought they were damaged actually, copies made from a copy often are.
Still, this was nice.
its marked incomplete
i hope that wasnt a mistae
3305317
Oh shoot, thanks for telling. I forgot to set it to complete.
3305319
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This is beautiful...
i give this fic an ten out of ten!
It was...nice but it didn´t stirr up many feelings from me. A nice approach instead of playing russian roulette combined with a pinkie genocide.
PLEASE use contractions. the story idea is good, but I hear robots talking instead of the characters.
Another way they could have ended this episode is by having all of the Pinkie clones turn out to be sentient, and the way they were banished be that they were sent packing to different cities all across Equestria. That's how I'd have ended it, at least.
To some extent this is what should've happened. At the least they needed to confirm that the real Pinkie Pie didn't get sent back. But then that's Dave Polsky for you, even at his best he seems to have trouble keeping everyone in character for an entire episode.
3306858 I agree with you, but level of professionalism isn't reflective of the wisdom of a writer's choices. There are many "professional" writers easily beaten out by the amateurs of this site.
It was a nice story, but I don't know about this one. I was terrified of what they did in that episode, but I doubt that the clones would have been so easy to change. A short conversation and they all are convinced of this? The clones all had ADD. How could they pay attention to a conversation that doesn't involve them specifically? I just think that it is a stretch. However, this seemed in a similar vein to the show, save the moral quandary of killing, as the feelings and thoughts seemed in character to me.
This is one of the 2 episodes that I care the least about. I mean destroying the clones with the chance of getting the real one? That's horrible. The other is the Mare-do-well because they are passive aggressive to dash instead of being forthright. I mean what is up with that? Not really a great friendship lesson.
3305949
Thank you. I Modified it at least
203050 places where I felt it's appropriate to use contractions.(This happens when someone like me is not a native english speaker
)
edit: The places I'm still not using contractions are intentional. I want the characters to emphasize the auxiliary verb.
3306858
"The Pinkie clones were non-sentient constructs that were basically MADE of magical energy,"
"genocide is the destruction of a race or culture"
You just defined the Pinkies as a unique race. Therefore, destroying them is genocide.
It doesn't matter for me if a sentient creature is born naturally or created by or even made of magic since I've read Past Sins.
My interpretation is that the Pinkie Pie clones were created by magic (and with that, they make a unique sub-race of earth ponies), but because the first clone could eat, cry, worry, talk and most importantly: go against her primary instinct of having fun (instead of being a mindless clone, running around shouting 'fun', she went back to Pinkie Pie and asked for her help). This it means for me that they had real body that could digest and were sentient, just didn't have enough life experience. A newborn mostly acts based on her primary instincts. If she is hungry, she cries. If you feed her, she stop crying. If she is tired, she sleeps. Still, nobody would say that a newborn is not sentient.
"I'm a better writer than the professional writer"
That is the last thing I would say. However, even the most professional writers make mistakes. What I simply did, is I took two of them, and changed them. Anybody can do that in their mind, I just wrote it down. At the same time, I am sure I made ten times more mistakes in my story, because as you said, I am not a professional writer.
3307853
"A short conversation and they all are convinced of this? The clones all had ADD"
I would say that they all listened at the end, because the thing they most wanted was 'fun', and what they saw on the stage was better than fun. I would never say they all listened quietly from the beginning to the end, that is impossible for a Pinkie Clone
(Or not? They could watch paint dry for a really long time.). I would say that it was slowly taking their attention and when Fluttershy declared Pinkie Hug as friend, they all reached listening state.
3307052
But...But... That's my story
I made some heavy modifications to the story, because I felt that at some places it was too rushed. And also fixed the "no contractions" problem.
nyehehe
Spike's test wouldn't work - or it couldn't be counted on to work.
Why not just a quiz of specific memories? They know the pool didn't carry those over. It'd be a whole lot less damaging.
3308424
"Spike's test wouldn't work - or it couldn't be counted on to work."
I think you are wrong, because what they did is actually making the depth of Pinkie Pie's heart visible, that how much their friends meant for her
. But of course, it's a matter of opinion and I respect yours.
"They know the pool didn't carry those over. "
We know it, because we saw the real Pinkie Pie teaching the clones. They didn't know.
Why wasn't this the actual ending? It's way better.
3305949
Was the Sweetie Bot joke intentional?
3309447
The clones called them by the wrong names at first. And of course if they'd just tried it, they would have discovered it to be highly effective.
As for being reliable, they couldn't know Pinkie's reaction to that particular comment. She could bounce back with a 'No you won't. Stop being silly.'
3313490
Really. You are right, When the first clone communicated with Fluttershy, she called Applejack as 'Applejohn'. Well... if Fluttershy takes this mistake into consideration, deducts the consequences and builds up courage when Twilight asks "Does anypony here know how we can tell the real Pinkie Pie from all the rest of them?" to tell Twilight this, then it could result a completely different outcome. I stick to my version, because I think it is more probable, and the other version might result the death of some clones. But still, good idea!
And this also means that Pinkie Pie shouldn't ask for "Applejohn" in the quiz, as the clone called her as "Applesauce", when they were talking to each other.
I'm gonna fix it now.
Interesting idea. it has less contractions than I'd expect from the canon characters but your canon is totally accurate. well done.
3313510
Does the contraction problem still exists? I already read through multiple times and fixed it like more than 50 places. Could you give me some examples, please?
Sometimes I want the characters to emphasize the "is", "are", etc... verbs, and I chosen not to use contractions.
yeah. I do the same in my stories honestly. Examples... let's see. lemme open up in new window to answer as I read...
Hmm... it's mostly the narrator so nevermind the canon comment. if it's you then that's you.
'what if she is acting?' no real inflection there. Yeah, it's not the contractions.
Maybe it's the word choice, or the length of their speech. it's really close but feels a little off but it's an unconscious feeling.
Honestly, it could just be that I put too much attention to your comment that you fixed the contractions that i suddenly noticed each time you skipped one. if there's any subtler stuff (does Spike say must? is he a 'gonna' using guy? -for example) i can't put my finger on it and we're both better off not obsessing over it.
3313583
Thanks. Yeah, sometimes I felt too that some lines are harder to imagine in the voice of the character. I thought it's because I watched the episodes a long time ago (waiting for season 4). Maybe I should rewatch a few episodes or I don't know.
Oh and the reason I really really want everything to be perfect is because I submitted the story on EQD. And as I heard, they can be really picky.
edit: I rewatched Dragonshy and reread my novel again. I found a few lines to improve. Now I can hear all the characters in my head
(or is this bad? 
)
it was a fun read I like the dark fic that was made after this episode 2 by some other person(cant member there name I think it was called (Just a puddle) or something along that line any way like how you handle the story better then the one on tv did
3311648 Haha, nope. I see what you mean though.
awesome story
3305190 3305188 I See What You Mean, I Mean Those Pinkie Clones were like Newborns and Twilight JUST OUTRIGHT MURDER THEM!!!
(It Makes Twilight Not a Murder now. 
) *Tears up and hugs Servant Phoenix & Bookworm Guardian* But I Wish this story became this ending of Too Many Pinkie Pies. That Ending Should've Happened!! 
Thank You for Changing the Ending.
BTW, Your Ending Gave me a Heart-Warming Ending.
Your Story is Awesome!!! 
3333556
I'm glad you liked it.
*hugs you back
3335811 Thank you.
this is a great alternate ending i loved it!!
Eh, certainly a better ending than on the show!
A Pinkie Pie in every town.
They should make a business selling Pinkies to the world.
3654725
Have your own Pinkie! Creates parties, makes you smile every day, and occasionally destroys the multiuniverse by breaking the walls between the dimensions.
Price: Lots of love
3654725
A great solution! now everyone everywhere could spread happiness and laughter in not only in Ponyville (and maybe all the way to canterlot) but to all of equestrian!
"OH OH! AND I WANNA BE CALLED PINKIE STRAND!"
All of the other clones looked at the one that had spoken up. "Why?" one of them asked.
The original shrugged. "I dunno, just got this feeling it might have been cool!"
Seriously though, this ending was bloody awesome. HASBRO! Y U NO THINK OF MORAL CONSEQUENCES!
Also, great work on the story! It was really well written, and I loved it!
3979480
I'm seriously torn now between calling the first clone Strand or Pinkie Hug. You are messing with my headcanon!
Anyways, I'm really happy that you loved my version.
Long live the Pinkie clones! 
This story brought a smile to my face.
:Mine too.
:And mine.
:Don't forget mine.
:I want to smile too.
: Hey look, I'm smiling.
: I like smiling.
: Smiling makes me fell nice inside.
: Smiling is magic.
3992293
Good story. I have always felt rather... uncomfortable with how the Pinkie situation was handled in Too Many Pinkie Pies.
This is definitely a better conclusion. I'm surprised the real one wasn't done this way in hindsight.
4006392
Same here. They should TOTALLY make this canon.