• Member Since 5th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen April 1st

Servant Phoenix


Christian brony who loves writing superpowers and emotional depths.

E
Source

“Did you see that? She smiled!”
“Maud Pie is the best!”
“Maud rocks!”
“With Maud we can be the Mane 7!”

Spike heard it. He heard it all.

And it broke his little heart.

---------

Cover photo by C-Puff

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 56 )

Sensei_Dash commented on EQD saying that with Maud, our beloved six ponies could become the Mane 7. I replied with this fiction as an EQD comment, then improved it a little bit to be submittable on FimFiction.

I hope someone else will enjoy it too. It warmed up my heart when I was writing it. :twilightsmile:

(ps: Yes, I know that the ending is rushed. I wrote this in less than an hour for the feels I felt during the writing. I didn't expect it to become this popular. )

Also: This picture almost became the cover photo. The only problem is that Twilight has no wings:

fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/314/1/d/two_friends_in_harmony_by_inuhoshi_to_darkpen-d5kk8at.png

This is a very accurate representation of what would happen. Good story

Nice, but I really wish this continued longer. :applejackunsure:

I'm tellin' ya: with all the bullcrap Spike goes through in the show, this will eventually happen:
derpicdn.net/img/2014/2/4/543281/large.jpeg

Good story; glad someone finally wrote this. :twilightsmile:

4134300 That picture suddenly reminded me of Antipodes (I guess it's not a big spoiler to tell who is the main antagonist of the story. )

Good vocabulary, not too lengthy for a short story and the detail was just right. I liked it, but it does not earn a favorite from me.

Have this, however.

+1 LIKE

Simple little fic you got here. Saw a few derps, but nothing deathly bad. The main issue is the pacing, which led to some awkward dialogue. I always love reading Twilight/Spike Sister/Brother fiction, so it kinda hurts me to not love this. Basically, if you added a few thousand words, really dove into Spike's head, maybe even showed us some of this Maud talk, and then got an editor, this could be great.

Aww! Seriously though, I'm getting sick of Spike being everyone's Butt Monkey in the show. Why is he anyway? Is it because he has a penis in a girl's show?

4134330

I agree.

I wrote the whole fiction as a comment reply in EQD. It was 800 words at that time. I just wanted to expand it a little bit to make it submittable on FimFiction, but it was still really rushed at the end, and should have been about 2000 words.

Maybe next time.

Good story, you portrayed Spike's emotions very well.:twilightsmile:

A story where Spike thinks that the mane six love him and adore him more than anyone else, when in reality, they mostly just ignored him and treated him like Twilight's maid or servant, would be pretty funny. The mane six read him the riot act about how he really isn't as great as he thinks he is and they like Maud better because she has more personality, and the story ends with Spike crying while the mane six smirk and stifle laughter. You have the potential for such a fic, OP.

4134399 I don't like cruel stories. :fluttercry:

Feel free to write it though.

(it was not me who downvoted your comment)

4134347 yeah, just a tad rushed when Twilight hits the scene... but full of ZE FEELZ!!

4134399 And then Spike greed growth and ate them? :pinkiehappy:

4134408
I'm busy with my own fic, and I'm thinking of writing a little story on the side (mostly poking fun at internet atheists), so my hands are tied.

Plus, I figured you'd be better since SOL isn't really my cup of tea. I still think you did a fairly decent job with this one.


4134426
Fuck no. Spike being anything but a pathetic wuss? Puh-leeze. :rainbowlaugh:

A bit short, but good. Like piece of candy.

WOW, my fiction got into the "Popular Stories" box. I never expected that to happen :pinkiegasp:.

*sighs*
This wasn't the first time Spike was left out, and sadly, it won't be the last.

*Mimics French narrorator. 2 days later... ”Spike! Could you clean up the library? I have to be somewhere!” *Closes door behind her.

4134399
holy mother of dislikes

my cock goes out to you. may you hold it closely for comfort

I love this story :fluttercry:

D'awwww the feels they are too much :fluttercry:

Spacecowboy
Moderator

Spike isn't important.
He's always so forgettable. Can't count the number of times I've had to edit scenes after writing them to acknowledge his existence. Hell, managed to write a one-shot that focused on Twilight and didn't even mention him once.

Spike really is forgettable. Still a fun character though. People need to keep him in mind a bit more.

Wonderfully emotional and heartfelt, just as it should be. :applecry:
Even though I don't see Spike working in the context of the Maud Pie episode, this does read like a realistic reaction to the whole "new best friend" schtick. Here's to hoping we can see more Twilight/Spike moments in the next season, seeing as how this one has been pretty low on them.

Good job, if short.

I must admit, the thought that ran through my head in an otherwise good episode was "where's Spike? What, you guys left him out again? What Pinkie doesn't consider him an important enough friend to help her with her really important necklace making?" Wouldn't have killed them to either have him silent in the background or just a line to say he was in Canterlot or something.

The show treats him so crappily sometimes, they really do...

4134318 Well... A story that you think of a year and a half after it is complete must be worth a read.

Sadly I have almost 4 million words in my favourites list still to read, and 207 stories in my read later pile. Thank you for this story, wish it had more detail, yata yata, thanks for the recommendation. May Ilias watch over you.

brianandrew.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/dawww1.jpg

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

i was listening to dragula when reading this, i had to stop my self from imagining spike going on a blood rage and killing em all :pinkiecrazy:

Those feels. :raritycry::fluttercry:

That emotional shift was too abrupt. You made Spike sound sincerely upset and then in span of three paragraphs everything is ok? The idea of the story was appealing, the execution wasn't. At least for me.

4137697
I completely agree, the ending is freaking rushed. This wasn't even planned to be a full-blown fiction. I only wrote it for the feels I felt while writing it into the EQD comment. I just submitted it because... why not?

I never expected it to become this popular.

4138315 Muahahahahahhaaa :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Just kidding :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Episodes like Power Ponies where they try to say Spike is a valued member of team just highlight the point that most of the time, he isn't. The show just seems to either forget about him or make him the butt of jokes & it makes me very sad. :fluttershysad:

4138617
The only episode where he was actually appreciated was the Crystal Empire. However, personally I felt that even at that time, his "heroism" was over-exaggerated. It was the main 5, who kept up the spirit of the crystal ponies, it was Twilight who found the Crystal Heart, it was Cadence who actually saved the Crystal Heart and brought it to its position (saving Spike in the meantime). Spike retrieved the Crystal Heart from Twilight and 'delivered' it to Cadence. He was just part of the team, not the main hero.

I want an episode, where Spike is in the center, he truly does something awesome, and he gets his well deserved appreciation. Power Ponies was a good step towards this. If he would have also gotten a superpower, I would feel satisfied. :moustache:

EDIT: Wow, look: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2014/03/season-4-episode-24-announced-equestria.html. At least we can hope.

This reminds me of an episode skeleton I wrote. I'm not gonna say anything else.:trollestia:

4141024 Sorry. I didn't mean to anticipate your idea. :fluttercry: (I know how bad it feels when it happens.)

4141681
Oh it's only barely similar, in which Spike exists and talks with Twilight. You didn't do anything bad yet.
I don't even like writing myself, and I had no intention of going any farther with the idea. The worst part is the five people who bothered reading it think it's genius.

Hit me right in the feels. I think I feel a man tear comin' out.

Came here write from EQD to favorite this. Goodbye, this story was heartwarming and sweet. :heart:

4189111 Thank you. I'm glad people enjoy what I wrote. :twilightsmile:

Quite a good little story. It could of been a little longer to put some more plot and depth into it but that's not a big problem.

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