Written by: TheLastBrunnenG
*****
"Oh, Twilight, I'm so sorry Mister Beaky didn't work out for you. He's sorry too." Fluttershy smoothed a ruffled tailfeather on the little macaw and lifted it onto a nearby perch. "Well, not really, but I can be sorry for both of us. Is that okay?"
"It's fine, Fluttershy. I know I said I wanted something more pet-like, now that Owlowiscious has taken over more of Spike's duties, but I just don't think Beaky here is the pet for me." Twilight smiled and turned to leave the pegasus' little cottage. "Maybe next week we can make another pro and con list of other potential animal companions."
From behind the curtain of her mane Fluttershy dared a wispy little smile. "Oh. Okay, if you're sure." She pawed the floor with a hoof for a few moments, then asked, “Um, Twilight?”
She turned, hoof on the door. “Yes?”
“If it’s not too much to ask, and I really hope it’s not – please tell me if it is – can I ask why you’re returning Mister Beaky? I mean, it would be nice to know what we need to work on if I’m going to help find him a forever home, and, well…” She trailed off into mumbling and whimpers, the floor suddenly immensely interesting.
Twilight looked at the ruffled little bird and her eye twitched, just a little. “I, ah...”
“Was he too insistent at mealtime? Oh, I should have reminded you how particular macaws can be about their food…”
“No, he was a perfect gentlebird at feeding time."
"Did he not get along with Luna's opossum? I know sometimes she leaves Tibbles with you, and they can be such shy little friends."
"No, they got along fine. It's just that Beaky is especially - well, he’s…” Twilight gulped and her grin froze a little. “…vocal”.
Fluttershy looked up and nodded. “Oh. Yes, that’s a species trait. They do vocalize a good bit, especially at night. Was he, um, too nocturnal? Keeping you up?”
“No, I’m usually up late anyway.”
“Was he too talkative?”
“Well…”
*SQUAWK!* POLYVECTORAL TRANSFORMATION? ARE THEY CRAZY? *BRAAWK!*
Fluttershy held a hoof to her muzzle and giggled, “Aww, Mister Beaky sounds just like you!”
*CHIRRUP!* SPIKE, I NEED MORE QUILLS! SPIKE, WE’RE LOW ON SQUID INK! SPIKE, DID I REMEMBER TO EAT TODAY? *SQUARK!*
“He must really have taken to you to learn your favorite phrases so quickly, Twilight.”
“Yes, that’s the issue. It’s not a problem that he’s so adept at mimicry, it’s that…”
*RUP! RUP! RUP!* I’M A NAUGHTY LIBRARIAN! *BGAAAK!*
“…he’s….”
*CHREET!* OOOH, MY DECIMAL SYSTEM IS GETTING DEWEY! *KRAAWK!*
“…so…”
*BRAAAK!* USE THE CROP, LUNA! USE THE CROP! *REEP! REEP!*
“…very...”
*SQUAARK!* HEY PRINCESS, WANNA GAZE AT MY STARS? *CHIRRT!*
“…observant.”
I died. I did! This is my ghost typing.
good lord twilight!
I'm almost in tears from this and my sides hurt. I needed that laugh.
And I about died at the end there. Great job BrunnenG. That was hilarious.
Poor Twilight then keeled over from raw embarrassment, resulting in the complete shattering of Luna' s heart. With nothing left to hold it back, Nightmare Moon returned, and without the Element of Magic, nopony could stand before her might. The world froze to extinction a mere three months later.
A librarians kinkiest dream.
can i like and fav this ch, cuz it definitely earned it
Oh god this is hilarious!
How naughty! Are you sure this is still T-rated? XD
DEAR GOD, BRUNNEN, WHAT MONSTER HAVE YOU UNLEASHED?!
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4122553
Hey, you two. You're both pretty dumb.
But you both have some good Tuna – "This is true." – so maybe you're not too dumb.
Much love and hugs,
Habutt
My top fave love this story so funny
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Kind of an old post to reply to, but you're saying you're a
(Wait for it)
... ghostwriter?