One Shot: The Great and Powerful Trixie finds herself in the Canterlot Arcane Market when a mysterious merchant offers her a chance to seize the power she's always wanted. In her haste, she accepts and casts a spell to make every pony in Equestria love her.
She should, however, be careful what she wishes for.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Is that it then? I would love to see more of this.
I was a bit hesitant to read this story, due to its word count (and yet I write well over 10k words per chapter in my story), but I still enjoyed this fic.
I'll be looking forward to later installments :D
That's nice, but I kinda displeased. If I understand correctly, Trixie is under influence of spell too, and when it'll break she'll be her old self, meaning she can't change without magic. It's not a very comforting thought. And I kinda missed her Great and Powerful public persona, such self-confidence is great, she only needs to stop belittling others and her attitude would be awesome.
I really hope to see second part, and more of Awesome Trixie.
9587
You're forgetting the power of FRIENDSHIP! It's in capitals and has an exclamation mark because it's that powerful.
I'd imagine by the end of the fic, Trixie's pretty much free of her own part of the spell. She's nice, not because the spell dictates it, but because she wants to be. In the same way that Twilight loves Trixie, not because the spell dictates it, but because she wants to be. The spell still exists, it's just Trixie's job to break it one pony at a time. She's using the awesome power of FRIENDSHIP! to help herself.
Obviously I'm not saying that, with this fic, IF Trixie returns in Season 2 (I hope to the Gods of Olympus she does) she'll be this lovely, silver-coated, Luna-maned mare who lives at Twilight's house and gets freaky with her every night. (Even though she obviously does...) I like to play around with Fanon and most importantly, Alternate Universes. Obviously this is a "What If?" along the lines of "What if Trixie ended up turning nice?" She has a massive price to pay for her happiness, but because of her new found FRIENDSHIP! she can pull through.
I could write more. A lot of the stuff I've been writing nowadays (In different fandoms) is getting dangerously close to mature, (I've been kinda obsessed with "Romance" lately, Romance obviously being air-quoted because it mostly involved skirting dangerously close to "And then they had sex...") But I make it clear that, Yes... They had sex, just not in actual words. If I wrote more of this, I could see it turning that way and I'd rather not get into "The Back Room" style love scenes, not that I'm knocking the author, I thought the Lyra/Bon Bon scene was written excellently, it's just I don't think I've become comfortable enough to go that far yet. I'd probably want to start writing humans in that way first... If I ever do.
lovely fic, i would also love to see more and wouldnt mind it being more mature or anything.
I love to think that Trixie isnt just some asshole to proud to see shes acting like a idiot, but redemption route is great too and you made a great fic here
I can also imagine Trixie and or Twilight Singing this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o&ob=av3e
9657
xD Gotta love the Lonely Island. I can only imagine Twilight and Trixie's first time would be incredibly awkward. It's like an image I saw on Ponybooru, where Caramel is asking Twilight whether they can have sex yet, but she's like "Nope, Gotta make sure I do this by the book."
I got bored, found a Twixie image and booted up GIMP, have a crappy recolour :D
I had half an hour to spare, why not?
I saw that too and totally thought its fitting
Hopefully I'll be able to edit this soon. I'm waiting to see if a source will provide specific criticism for it.
It seems you'll be getting more of this after all. Yay for you I guess.
Luna is gonna be SO ANGRY at Trixie!
Or at least thats how I see it all playing out. haha
I still felt doubt during the second half of this story due to the fact of the spell wearing off. I actually didn't believe it ^^; Even though Trixie had changed up to this point, I felt she needed consequences for invading the castle and taking ownership of Princess Luna's room. Sure she was nice, but I don't think that's enough for everyone to be okay with her actions. *sighs* On the other hand i'm a complete sucker for Twixie and the fact Twilight was still with her even after the spell wore off. Trixie didn't have to do much else after confessing her actions to Twilight. She just smiled like "Yeah, I'm okay with it." Perhaps I'm taking this story as too lighthearted. I really did like the story and would read it again sometime. Still, I can't get rid of this itch that tells me, Trixie didn't get a good enough come-up-ence in the end. Anyways that's just my two cents. If there's ever a sequel, I'd read it in a heartbeat.
15754
You raise some brilliant points. As I've said in an earlier comment, I got a lot of good criticism which gave me a good idea of where I should take the fic to make it better. I'm definitely going to rework the second half of the fic to cover more of the problems and make it flow better.
As for the whole, "Trixie needs to be punished for invading the castle" thing, well... all she really did was ask for lodgings, she didn't do much beyond that. Luna was out of town so her room wouldn't see any use otherwise, so I believe Celestia would be nice enough to let that one slide because she's such a nice pony. I have taken a lot of these kinds of criticism to heart though, so when I finally get around to reworking the fic (Which I should think is soon, now that I've gotten the urge to do it) I'll try and make this a lot better. If you do get the urge to read it again, at least wait until I update it, (I'll post it as a new chapter so you should be notified if you're tracking the story I might edit the original to contain all of the notes I've made to keep the story clean)
A sequel may be on the cards if I can think of a plot beyond, "Twilight takes Trixie to properly tour Ponyville and meet her friends, avoiding suspicion along the way." But hey, I've written things with less idea of what to do.
yeah when you buy something from a merchant then they disapear, mean's don't use what you buyed but it might turn ok at the end if you use it
I read it before and loved it.
Now? Now I love it! I especially liked the part about Trixies past and how her personality evolved
Hmmm. Shame I can't change my vote; it's kinda hard to go higher than the 5 stars I already gave it.
This is n0w 0ne 0f my fav0rite fanfics!!
(Her nights had been increasingly... abstract. I always knew she was an artist, she could paint the night sky much more beautifully than me, but I had to draw the line when she said she wanted to see what the moon would look like as a cube.”) S0me0ne like Minecraft?
is there a c0ntinuation t0 this? I w0uld l0ve t0 kn0w.
Wow, you reworked it. Nice. Good to see that Trixie is nicer here on her own, not because of spell.
20253
Yeah, it was criticism like yours that allowed me to rethink the entire story and make it better. Although I'd like to thank Equestria Daily's pre-readers for alerting me as to how messed up the second half of the story was, on a second glance, it was messed up. I feel much better about this version.
20017
I'm not personally a fan of micecraft, but I have seen those Luna pictures where she's on the moon and she turns it into a big Minecraft type thing. I can see why you'd think it was a reference, but I was just making a joke about how surreal Luna's mind had become in her seclusion.
I'm glad you liked it, I do have an idea about what I'd like to write for a sequel (it would follow the court plotline, i.e Trixie and Twilight preparing for the trial and trying to make sure she gets found innocent) but I have a lot of ideas running around my head, one of which is a series of one-shots designed to outline the headcanon for what my personal Ponyverse is like. I really like the idea of doing that, so things like this (which aren't my personal headcanon, this is just a what-if? really) might get put on low priority.
19929
Do it! Petition for a 6 star button just for me! xD
This fic is personally responsible for Trixie climbing the "best pony" list and settling herself right near the very top.
Beautiful fic. Thanks for writing and putting the effort into revising it too!
Since you mentioned the amount of criticism you got from the original, I now realize I was part of that. Did I mention how much I liked this story? Then you go and revise it and make it better? Nopony asked you to do it. Yet you did it anyway. And with the length of this tale? You are an awesome author. Again, I liked the original story. Look:
Me reading + This story =
Confusing (Hopefully not insulting) mathematical formulas aside I really did like the original more than I let on. I guess I only jabbed and jabbed at the only thing that bugged me about it. This being the case I'll focus the rest of this comment to tell you why this particular story is better than... let's say all the other Twixie fanfictions I've read. Mostly meaning that's mostly what I have read... Anyway, I liked how this story started out where Trixie and Twilight really didn't have much interest in each other. Trixie hated Twilight for showing her up and Twilight... Well her opinion remained unknown, I guess. Usually in the fanfictions I read, there's at least one side already in love. Now the whole admiration spell may have seemed like it forced Twilight to like Trixie or the other way around, it only helped their friendship start. Everything else after was genuine. I liked that.
Now onto what the revision changed for me. Well the whole library scene was just another plus for me. It was like watching a deleted scene off a DVD. Well, of course, this one added to the story and wasn't nonsensical like an average deleted scene is. I'm just comparing it as extra footage you didn't get to see the first time around. It's nice to read! In fact this scene changed my own perspective on the events in the story. I raise an interesting question for myself (And perhaps others). When did the spell "wear off" on Twilight? Or, did the spell's effect wear off on Twilight at all? Intentional or not, I found this question made this story very thought provoking. I have a theory on it as well, but I think it's best if I don't stretch my comment out for that sake. I don't think anyone would be interested in hearing it. To sum it up briefly, I think the spell wore off on Twilight after the first night.
I feel like I'm rambling now. No surprise... a good story does that to me. All in all, a wonderful revision! I wonder if it will count if you try to submit it to EqD...?
21714
:D
I probably should resubmit it now that I've made (according to the comments) a vast improvement in the overall quality of the story. I've been preoccupied with writing new things though (the aforementioned headcanon series) I'll get round to it eventually though!
You're pretty much right with what you said, Trixie was initially annoyed at Twilight, I wouldn't necessarily go so far as to say she hated Twilight, but she didn't think it was fair that Twilight was so well off and Trixie has had to struggle for everything she earned. Perhaps Trixie thought that Twilight had only gotten where she was because she had the Princess teaching her (in let's be fair a right time, right place moment if there ever was one). Either way, Twilight apologised and Trixie found herself accepting it and by the time she pulled the prank in the restaurant and her saying they were square, that pretty much started their friendship.
You can pinpoint the spell breaking as after the Throne Room scene but before the Garden scene (and I think I specify that there had been at least a few days between those) Trixie would have needed at least some time to get the ponies in the castle to accept her as someone undeserving of scorn. So I'd personally say that it broke around about the time Twilight and Trixie became friends, which was near enough the first day (of being in the castle at least)
I know what you're saying about most shipping fics, One pony let's say Rainbow Dash is secretly in love with, let's say Applejack (it's a popular pairing so I feel kinda justified in using it as an example :P) Rainbow Dash plucks up the courage to do something about it, Applejack is initially wary but warms to the idea and seconds later they're admitting they love each other. That's the thing I don't like with some shipping fics, the jump from attraction to love is incredibly quick in most instances. You could argue I do this in Adored, but I argue that Twilight and Trixie merely go "beyond friendship" and I'm pretty sure I don't have them stating their love, Trixie says that Twilight captured her heart, but that might be it. It just seems like a very juvenile way of looking at relationships, like when tweens "fall in love" with each other.
With everything romance based I write, I try to at least make it believable (as much as talking ponies falling in love can be believable anyway) For example, in a pokémon fic I wrote I had a legendary pokémon fall in love with a gym leader (a Greek mythology reference on my part) and the readers said that whilst it seemed initially weird, it was at least a believable way for the romance to go about.
Ha, and now I'm rambling. Thanks for your review, it was awesome.
I read the original today (since I had saved it about two or three weeks ago without reading it), and then reread your revised version, and I have to say I was very impressed. A few parts confused me, like the part where Trixie started to be hated as she left the castle; it just seemed like it happened so quickly without any real lead into it. Plus, the ending slightly confuses me as well; was Celestia referring to the same "merchant" that "tricked" Trixie? Or was it someone else? Those points aside, this was a very lovely little story. While it doesn't get that romantic like other Twilight x Trixie stories, it does enough to make you really love it and ADORE it.
Ah, I see, so you basically redid everything...for that, you have my full admiration and respect. This explains a lot...probably should've looked at this first before I looked at the story itself, hehe. Anyway, very great job!
28089
Well, thank you for reading the story twice xD Although I really would have preferred it if you had just read the revised version >_> I'm not exactly too proud of the first version... *cringe*
I am proud, in an odd silly way, of how the fic is that long that it breaks the page and merges into the comments section xD
Twixie is fun, it's gotten to the point where I can only really imagine Twilight with three ponies, Trixie, Luna and Celestia. Considering that two of them are immortal god queens, I think Twixie is the most plausible.
Nothing beats an all night fanfic marathon ending 11.57 with something great and awesome, like this story.
So I wondered what the new Trixie would look like:
i.imgur.com/81t4Y.jpg
Pretty good, all in all. Very cute
Also that ending was great... is this story part of some larger universe?
Headcanon says Trixie used the power of the curse to fight the horde of ponies.
Because she's not powerful enough on her own. That would also give her some leverage in the case; Posession and all that.
Again- she just isn't powerful enough on her own. Not by a long shot.
Trixie harmed my Luna. She shall suffer.
133799 Thanks, I was having trouble picturing that in my head. Always do.
I really enjoyed this story, thanks for throwing it on EqD or I might not have read it. I was going to suggest going though it to look for errors, then I realized you had already done that. Considering the size of this story, going back to change the ~15 things I noticed seems a bit OCD if you're fine with the story. The only part I felt was a bit off was the random comment, "Trixie had never noticed how nice her smile was" or something like that. That would have been better later on in the story, it felt a bit off for it to be that early.
Enjoyable, if very long, read, and keep on, brony. Keep on.
Also, a watch, track, and a 5/5 for your troubles.
Wait so what is her new name? Outstanding writing giving Trixie the time to grow into her new self. I would realy love you to chronicle Lunas adventures too. The irony here is that Luna may even have changer her appearance in order to hide her identity to gain easier acceptance amongst the general populus. Won't she be in for a surprise, I suspect she's already in ponyville while Twilights been away looking after Trixie. Sad that more romance was not involved but sometimes friendship needs to be the real focus so cudos to you for not taking the easy path. once again excellent writers make reading magic and joyful. 5/5 buck schadenfreude.
Not sure what I think of this fic. I guess I wasn't too taken by the story.
133945
Sonic: Luna can't grow while trapped in the castle, Trixie has done her a huge favor.
133934
And anon: Trixie has been practicing her act long enough to have strengthened her casting abilities. Yes the curse brought it out, but it is still just her own magic. It's not all about what you have been born with but what you make from yourself that counts.
Cool stuff, thanks for using my pic as a cover for your fanfic :) I shall read it!!!
Nicely written and long (Y) (Y) (Y)
Oh Celestia, not another Twixie fic!
but its very well done, with good backstory and characterization. my only real grips is that twilights "love" grew romantic kinda out of nowhere and the point where trixie romantically reciprocated kinda popped up at random also.
transition my friend, transition
otherwise very good, definitively a 5 star
>>Icchan
You should have read the very first version, there was barely any transition in that version. I'm gonna point out that you yourself put 'love' in quotes, meaning that you understand that there isn't a proper "shipping" moment where they declare their undying love for each other. Keeping that in mind, the term "fast friends" exists for a reason and considering what they went through, I'd like to think that you'd either hate or 'love' each other after something like that.
I wrote this ages ago, there weren't so many Twixie fics back then. I love Trixie though (her fanon personality anyway) and I think Twixie makes sense, so...
>>TheOwlWBU
xD That's pretty cool, although I'd say she's a little too white and not silvery enough. I did say she was silvery right?
This fic isn't part of a larger universe, no. For that, see Fruit & Veg and Destitute Illusions. This was just a What If? kinda thing, What if Trixie cast a spell to force everyone to love her? That was what I based the entire story off of. I did plan a sequel, but because of my new headcanon that I wanted to explore, I decided to write a series of new fics to show what my headcanon is like.
>>Anon(Guest)
Not powerful enough? Where does it say that Trixie isn't powerful?
Considering what I wrote about her past, let's say that she became complacent, casting the same spells over and over again until she became an expert at casting them. She neglected her other powers and they stagnated, so when it came to battling the Ursa in Ponyville, she could only use her "show magic" which is shown to be ineffective. For all we know, she could be an immensely powerful magician who didn't practice her skills enough (through her own arrogance), so she could easily have to power to blow up like she did. She's obviously not on Twilight's level, but that's like saying, "You're fast, but you're not as fast as Usain Bolt." There's a massive spectrum of "not as fast as Usain Bolt" for you to fill.
>>SonicBrony66
She kinda didn't. Tough love is what it is. Luna benifitted from it, so you should be thanking Trixie really.
>>Bellum_Civille
I did a recolour myself, here. Because this fic takes place before Luna Eclipsed, (and is not that long after the whole Nightmare Moon thing) I used Luna's original colours. She's a little too grey though in my picture.
>>Arthtrott
I think Luna disguising herself to make people like her is counter-productive. As for Luna's adventures, I doubt they were that exciting, she'd visit towns and proclaim her return in the Royal Canterlot Voice! and go on her merry way. Trixie had to change her appearance so she doesn't get killed, so she has a legitimate reason. I don't really have a name for her new persona, but I think something simple like 'Silver' would do.
135075
>This fic isn't part of a larger universe, no.
It should be! That ending was very intriguing and I'd want to know more about how Trixie will become friends with other Ponyvillians. You should keep it in mind if you're ever stuck for something to write.
135203
'Spose... I have lots to write though. Aforementioned headcanon project keeps me occupied. So writing a completely different universe (not to mention writing a courtroom drama) would just drain me more than make me want to write.
If you want courtroom drama, watch Turnabout Storm (the MLP/PW crossover videos) Someone actually wrote a fic OF Turnabout Storm, it just seems redundant to me, especially considering the video exists. It's like some pokémon fics, some people write retellings of the game with nothing changed... what's the point? We could just as easily go and play the game and have way more fun, not to mention we don't have to wait for the next bit to come out. What happens when the fic gets to the end of Part 2 of the video? The readers will have to wait until Part 3 comes out, which considering the time between Part 1 and Part 2, will be a long time.
/rant over.
I actually really enjoy writing my headcanon universe.
As for the ending, I've seen people saying that it was a cliffhanger, not finished or whatever. I'm pretty sure that I made it somewhat clear that it was Discord, it hints towards his growing power after Celestia and Luna lose their connection to the elements of harmony... Celestia saying "An enemy I thought I'd defeated aeons ago" gives it away if you hadn't already realised. It's not Fridge Brilliance vague...
W-wait a sec... C-complete?! That's it?! There HAS to be a sequel right? RIGHT?! RIGHT?!?!
~ Moonstone, Minstrel of Equestria
p.s. In case my comment was misleading, I'm requesting a sequel, continuation, ect.
135286
Nope. Nothing. Nada.
As explained, I find my time is better spent pursuing other projects. Hopefully this will make you feel better, have an inspirational Trixie song.
That song is important. Pay attention to it.
135349 Okie Doki Loki! Thanks for the link! I'll check it out then!
Okay, finally finished it. Loved it, too. So, no continuation? A shame, there. I imagine Trixie going back with twilight to Ponyville, some adventures and stuff.
Very well-written, too.
Maybe if you had the time, could you extend this story?
Just hoping.
141425
That's basically what it would be. Twilight would bring Trixie to Ponyville (Trixie has nowhere else to stay after all) she'd introduce her to her friends as a "fellow researcher" who's currently "helping" her with some "important stuff"
So between making friends and making out they'd probably get some dusty old legal books out on magic-induced autonomy as a defence for her actions. She'd win, everyone would be happy.
142392
It's not a question of having time, I have plenty of time. There are two projects I'd much rather write however, things that are much more interesting to me (one of which is similar to Adored anyway, so continuing this would be kinda superfluous) If I'm ever really stuck for stuff to write though, I'll consider extending this.
It's interesting how many stories still make Trixie out to be as selfish and arrogant as she was depicted, and STILL has her 'someday learning her lesson' as Twilight hoped she would.
I finished this earlier today, absolutely loved it.
My only complaint is, that you have a lot of build up, but you don't even show Trixie's trial. I think that would have been a better climax.
Oh, and you say "the lavender/azure unicorn" too much.
589817
When I was writing it, I didn't know when the ending would come. I literally just went crazy over a one week period and typed a massive story about Trixie. When I got to the ending we have now, I thought it was a great place to end. Also, the part about Trixie having a trial was something added in during the "Massive re-write so large it warranted changing the title to Adored: Redux"
One of the things the EqD pre-readers said when I first submitted it was that Trixie doesn't seem to suffer any consequences, so that was added in to give a sense of gravity to her situation. As I've said before, if there was a sequel, the trial would be it's focus.
Also, about the lavender/azure thing xD Yeah... I do that. It's just kinda hard to write a story this long without repeating yourself. I don't just want to keep saying Twilight and Trixie so I'd usually mix it up by using their race, like "the pegasus said" or "the unicorn laughed" etc. but because theyre both unicorns, I have to specify which one I'm talking about, hence the naming of coat colour. It's hard to find a balance xD
Meh