• Member Since 18th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen February 16th

Rarity Belle


A Dutch gentleman of leisure, living for pleasure, since mirth is my measure. Writing stories that are (mostly) unique and psychological of nature and visiting conventions whenever I can.

T
Source

When the essence of fear itself knocks on ones door, one can only sink into the madness that is their own mind. Not a single soul will be able to escape the new evil that has been released on the surface of the land. But five friends -whether they like it or not- need to find and bring a stop it. All while they search for their missing friend. Things will only shroud themselves more in mystery as each of them loses themselves within their fears. ...And what truly is the cause of the fearful being? But above all, just who is behind all of it?

The answer to their questions might not be something they are willing to face, but they have to, no matter what. Though little do they know that the new terror that struck the land of Equestria, was somepony they knew very well. The frightful beauty that is nopony else than the dangerous Nightmare Rarity has been released over Equestria. With her, fear can dominate the land.

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The very first story on FIM that features the new comic villain, Nightmare Rarity
Cover image created by, Jaaaaaaaz
Others tag is for the fact that NMR isn't available as well as for minor character
OC tag is for the numerous original character's that make their appearance over time

Chapters (34)
Comments ( 88 )

NIGHTMARITY! Oh, dah-ling, I've heard so much about her! in those MLP comics, yes? Oh, we will become the best of friends, her and I!:raritystarry::raritywink:

Yes, a fic featuring my new favorite villain. It's about time.

Oi.

You have a tendency to leave crucial words out of sentences, with the result that they make no sense:

Some would themselves, intrigued, by the storm.

They never told me about this to happen.

Some words are misspelled:

Spike let out a small grown

You capitalize unicorn and pegasus for some reason. A lot of your commas are placed wrong. Some sentences don't make grammatical sense.

Putting all that aside, I think you could benefit from paying more attention to your descriptions. You alternate between fairly good descriptive phrases and very poor ones. Lines like "it almost seemed that if she was taking photo’s of herself in that manner" and "But the image she saw, was printed on her retina", while by no means perfect, are a step in the right direction. But describing Applejack as "the hard working, honest farmer and cowgirl" or Rarity as "the white coated, sapphire blue rimmed Unicorn" or Spike as "a purple scaled, green spiked, baby dragon that had been hatched by the Unicorn and been under her care ever since", to name just three examples, is indefensible. Everyone reading this story is a brony. So everyone already knows those things about those characters. Stating the obvious when it isn't important to the story is just distracting. Good description doesn't include every little thing—it focuses on specific bits and pieces of a scene that, taken together, create a powerful tone, a sort of emotional lens through which the reader can view the events of the story. So the writer's goal should be to figure out exactly what details to include for the most powerful effect, and to leave out everything else.

2596424 She was the main inspirational source for the story without a doubt and the entire mythology I made behind her on PonySquare is going to have its benefits. Best of friends? Hmhmhm, we'll see over time my dear, we'll see over time.

2596457 That also came to my attention, there are tonnes of the other villains, but Nightmare Rarity is simply, left out oddly enough.

2596674 I do see the corner you are coming from and I give you your right in the mistakes. I still need to learn a lot as a writer. Though, allow me to explain certain elements.

The Pegasus/Unicorn capitalization is because I see them as names. Much like character names. I don't know why, but I just do.

As for the descriptions on the characters, granted that every soul that reads it is a brony and knows how they look, I still find it a good thing to do, because there could be character changes. Okay, this story doesn't involve them, yet...

ohmygodohmygodohmygod! A NIGHTMARE RARITY FIC!!!!! YAY! You have earned my amusement Ms. Rarity Belle. Continue!

2605219 I shall do my best to impress you my dear. But it may take some time to actually complete the first chapter.

2605243 it is quite alright dear, one must not rush a true lady with her work. It takes time for true excellence to be finished, no?

2605253 How right you are my dear. How right you are.

2605258 *nods and smiles* I can tell dear that this is the start of a wonderful friendship. *gives an expensive bolt of cloth* here, a gift: a bolt of the finest cloth from Germaneigh: made from the softest of materials: spider's silk with a golden trim, normally used for royal garb, but you will find a better use for it.

2605270 A wonderful friendship without a doubt my dear. *looks at the cloth and her mouth starts to water* This is, simply amazing!

(let's not turn the comment section onto an RP page, have already a lot of those on Skype and PonySquare.)

2605331 (start a bog and continue there?)

You are welcome dear, simply the finest for the owner of the best clothing shoppe in Equestria.

(Prefer ponysquare in general to be honest.)

It's about time Nightmarity got one (the first?) fanfic on this site. This is the only one I have found so far. It looks quite promising, and I'm very curious to see how it goes from there.

2646738 I have to admit, I haven't seen one either to be honest. then again, I am not that actively looking for them. But I am glad that you like it so far. The story will be making slow progress though given all the other projects I have running.

But you know what they say, slow and steady wins the race, right?

Nightmare Rarity?! I am both surprised & excited by such a villian. Shall read later in the future.

2741300 She is semi canon. She has a story line in the comics 5 through 8, I believe. I have only read 5 and 6 so far. Though I may not read 7 and 8 for the purpose of this story. More will appear of the story, the question is going to be when, I'm afraid.

Factories of death= Rainbow Factory and Magic Facility.

Friends killing= All the fics of Pinkamena.

I KNOW IT!

2918841 Just little references to make it tie on, or not, with other stories.

Nightmare Rarity...?

This is fascinating...

~Skeeter The Lurker

Hmm. Looks like you used the comics for this...

~Skeeter The Lurker

3050621 You are partly correct. I indeed used the comic to get the transformation of Rarity into Nightmare Rarity but everything else that is going to happen... *holds the comic story arc and throws it out the window before tabbing her head* All comes from here.

I plan on making this a massive story, but I am working on another massive project as well. When that project gets released, this shall have the highest priority.

Awesome story so far dude/dudet I can't wait for chapter 2 and so on I actually haven't seen the Nightmarity (as I like to call her) comics before anyway we can we expect the next chapter?

3237468 I prefer to be called a lady, my dear. As for the story's progression, I'm afraid that you will have to wait until mid November before the second chapter shall surface. Long story actually. But it shall come, trust me on that. It is just going to be needing time.

Mainly because, I am still sitting with my hands in my hairs because of another story...Blood Curse Boutique. That is the real trouble maker for me. But if you like, this blog post explains the situation a bit more.

It shall continue, don't worry, I just require time. Lots of it. As for the Nightmarity story arc in the comics, it is good enough for me. But I rather take this into a different direction and who knows, might end up as a second novel. Because there is a lot I can work with given the range and powers she has.

3237491 sorry my apologies Lady Rarity Belle anyway ya this story is really awesome and cool the middle of November is coming up and like a week after is the premiere of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Season 4 and I believe Nightmare Moon will also be returning which is awesome and who knows maybe Lauren Faust will get an idea from the Comics and introduce Nightmarity in Season 4 now that would be awesome :) oh and btw will their be any SpikexRarity later on in this story?

3237593 It is quite alright my dear and I am glad that you like the story as it is now. While it is true that S4 of MLP also airs around that time, I try to keep the spoilers for myself to a minimum to have a full enjoyable effect. And as much as the idea sounds amazing on paper, I don't think it will happen until either S5 or not at all. Nonetheless, given how the RP side of her has been worked out completely in my mind, I would probably consume myself with rage for the show version. As the comics are...considerable more aimed towards an older audience then the show itself is.

As for a Spikity (spikexrarity shipping), I truly can not say it at this point in time. Maybe there is going to be, maybe there is not. Although...it could make for some nice *spoilers hidden due to way to much fun that could be had with them during writing*

Ah a beautifully executed chapter madam. I must say how are you going to do this story? Corrupt the rest of the Mane 6? (If you are I will be more than eager to help.) Kill them out right? Or.... something more sinister?

3650713 My dear Twily, I have the entire plan of this story right in my head and written full content ready to be released up to chapter number 9. As for the plan of going to do it all, you'll see~

But let's just say that, none of the mane 6 shall be corrupted or killed (maybe one depending on her vision). But you know my writing, it is never straight to the point as going from A to B. More like, going from A to C, with B as a sneaky crossroad.

3650749 Of course why did I ever doubt you.... would you consider that type of story though? That is to say would you do a story revovling around The Mane 6 falling into Nightmare's corruption and the rise of the new elements of Harmony? (I would like it even more so, if you did this, that I try and help out with each one of their descents into darkness.)

3650761 There are many reasons one can doubt me dear, reasons unknown to me and hidden from the public. While it would make an interesting storyline to create, it also requires a lot more thinking. Certainly that I made the personality of NMR on PS (who is actually the bases of the story's NMR) in like...3 hours, multiplying that times 5, means 15 hours just to get the 5 nightmares standing. And then there is of course the lovely question, how are the new elements going to be introduced?

True that all of these little problems can be solved if I actually start to sit for it. But whether I would be doing it is going to be another question. While I do appreciate your help for it, I do not think that now is going to be the right time to release such a story. Maybe in the future, but not now.

I shall keep the idea in the back of my head though.

Nice chapter. Hey I'm gonna be making another cannibal chapter because I accidentally deleted the old one. If you are free. Please PM me madam.

Again another excellent chapter written.

3854174 I thank you for your kind words my dear. Although, allow me to ask the obvious here, did you happen to have a favorite part in it?

3924724 Depends on which part you're talking about. A lot of things happened in this chapter alone my dear. And a lot more, is planned to be happening so very soon in the vortex of time itself.

I have just one question.... where are the rest of The Mane 6 in this?

The Nightmare will rise, and the goddess Celestia will die.

Comment posted by Vigriff deleted Mar 11th, 2014

So you basically turned Nightmare Rarity from generic evil villain into Lady Medusa Gorgon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGAMdxDAX3o

4069248 While I have not a clue just who that happens to be, that music is oddly fitting for the way I picture Nightmare Rarity. And the aim of the story was actually to take that whole generic villain thing away from her. Hence the title, hehehe.

4071303 Watch Soul Eater and you'll understand.

4073608 If I'll be ever finding the time for it perhaps yes. And is it me, or does the song has that little Batman flavor to it? (Pointing to the '89 movie from Tim Burton)

4073793 A little bit of both.

4073839 I see. Still want to thank you for giving me an awesome song to listen to!

4073883 Not a problem. If you want further inspiration look up the Sonic SatAm version of Dr. Robotnik on Youtube, he's a badass (unlike his video game self) and his theme is equally chilling.

4073909 I think I'm good actually. But thanks nonetheless.

Oh this is a surprising turn of events, I can't wait for more :D

And you have a NMR story? I don't know why I didn't notice this before.

*sits and reads.

4495707 >-> Mostly because I am able to hide my stuff good enough? *looks innocently before shying away*

“And, here, we, go,”

Somewhere... I know that The Joker is smiling.

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