Prologue
A loud thunder roll did its turn over the rustic little town of Ponyville. Many shocked themselves in fear when the sudden burst of lightning and deafening sound did their turn. A storm had broken loose over the little town. A storm that was a lot heavier than each of its residents could ever expected it to become.
Some managed to find their calm in the mysterious storm. Applejack for example, was the hardworking, honest farmer and cowgirl who had done all of her duties and secured everything for the raging storm. She found herself together with her family and sat safely inside the house as they shared stories of long ago. Granny Smith spoke the most as she had done the most in her life. Each of her grandchildren hung on her lips while she spoke about the young days of her life. How she worked her way up to the standards of where their Acres was.
Some would found themselves intrigued by the storm. Pinkie Pie for example, was the young and energetic earth pony mare couldn't get enough of all of the flashy lights and sounds that made her snort like a filly. Every time just before a new flash of lightning would appear, she pulled a silly face before her window and held it until the rolling came down. It almost seemed that if she was taking photos of herself in that manner.
Others would found themselves scared to death by the howling winds and rain. Fluttershy for example, had laid down on the couch within her cottage. She had the blankets pulled firm over herself. She shivered as deep as she could while her fears for the storm affected her deeper than thought. All of the little critters that had sought up shelter within her home, tried to comfort the terrified pegasus. Each of them would do something, even if it was in a vague attempt, to lift her mood up and show her that it wasn't all that scary.
Some would found themselves wondering how it could even had happened. Rainbow Dash for example, was Ponyville’s weathermaster and found herself staring with a set of big, magenta colored eyes to the raging storm. There were countless thoughts that raced through her body. The mare shook her head in utter disbelief. She couldn't wrap her head around that what was shown to her. Without a second thought in her mind rushed the daredevil of a pegasus over to the front door of her cloud palace and she opened it.
The pegasus found herself in the pouring rain and blinked only up to the skies. “How is this..?” Rainbow spoke up to herself before she made herself ready to just depart into the skies. As her wings unfolded themselves from her sides before she took one leap into the air and she was off. She was back in her element within the skies. Behind her tail she always left a rainbow colored rainbow trail and the mare did her best to not get hit by the lightning of the storm. “They never told me anything about this to happen. They never gave me instructions... Who do they think they are!?” the mare muttered to herself.
Rainbow soared up to the dark clouds and before she knew it, she found herself deep within them. Deep within their dark hollowness was she flying. The pegasus turned herself in every direction in the hope to see things that would indicate that where she hoped for. But no matter where she looked, there was nothing to be seen before her.
There was a new flash of lightning which showed itself, it lit up the dark clouds and Rainbow was able to make up something that resembled a face. A face that she knew all too well, yet was different. “...No way,” she spoke to herself before the roaring sounds caused her to lose her concentration. The pegasus dropped herself towards the ground for hundreds of meters before her wings would set her on course once more. But the image she saw was printed on her retina.
~~~~
Where others got together to share stories, watched the power in awe, hid away from it or inspected it, there was a certain mulberry, unicorn mare who was different from all of the others. The mare lived within a hollowed out tree near the middle of the town. A building that both figured as her living space and job. The town’s own library and at the helm stood nopony else then Twilight Sparkle. The founder of the elements of harmony in the first time in so many generations.
“Storms come and go. So do my studies,” she spoke to herself. The mare levitated a cup of steaming tea from a nearby table. She brought the cup to her lips and blew some of the steam away before a gentle sip was taken. “Life is a curious thing. Don’t you think, Spike?”
“Huh, what?” a purple scaled, green spiked, baby dragon spoke up as he rose his head out of the basket. The blanket covered most of his head and body. His tired green eyes looked over to his motherly figure and blinked a couple times at the words she spoke. “Come again?” The reason why he saw Twilight as his mother, was due to the fact she was the pony who hatched him from his egg, all those years ago.
“Don’t you think about it sometimes? I mean, what is the purpose of life? Of our lives?” Twilight spoke. She set her cup back on the oaken table before her. “I wish Rarity was here... She always had that strange but philosophical look on the world. A look that even opened my eyes once, remember?”
Spike let out a small groan at the first set of words that were spoken. But as soon as the name of Rarity had fallen in his ears he fixed his attention upon Twilight with a bit of a tilted head. “Is this about that time she showed you there was more than just your studies? You know, that you actually need rest?” he spoke in a questioning tone. Though he began to fear an eruption of her.
Twilight just gave a simple nod at first. She closed her eyes for a little bit. It was true, she had been sitting with her studies for just so long. But on one day when it was just Rarity and herself, it was the white coated, sapphire blue rimmed unicorn that spoke about her past. But also about her point of view in life. It was through that heartbreaking conversation, the young and studious unicorn opened her eyes on a new perspective. A perspective that did conflict a lot with that of her own but one she loved just as much.
“Where is Rarity actually? I haven’t seen her in her home for ages now,” the baby dragon spoke up after a couple minutes of silence and thoughts.
Twilight shocked up out of her way of thoughts and she rested her eyes upon the baby dragon. “I wish I knew Spike, I wish I knew,” she replied while a deep sigh left her body through her nose. Spike nodded to her words and crawled back upon himself in his basket.
“I just hope, she will be alright,” he spoke as his eyes fell shut in order to just fall asleep and to be carried away into the realm ruled by his own mind.
Little did all of them know, what kind of changes had happened to the once so small and friendly unicorn. Not to mention the adventure that was knocking on their doors, if not rolling on their doorsteps. Every soul fears something over the course of their lives. It are those fears that some beings play with like the sick devils they are.
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NIGHTMARITY! Oh, dah-ling, I've heard so much about her! in those MLP comics, yes? Oh, we will become the best of friends, her and I!
Yes, a fic featuring my new favorite villain. It's about time.
Oi.
You have a tendency to leave crucial words out of sentences, with the result that they make no sense:
Some words are misspelled:
You capitalize unicorn and pegasus for some reason. A lot of your commas are placed wrong. Some sentences don't make grammatical sense.
Putting all that aside, I think you could benefit from paying more attention to your descriptions. You alternate between fairly good descriptive phrases and very poor ones. Lines like "it almost seemed that if she was taking photo’s of herself in that manner" and "But the image she saw, was printed on her retina", while by no means perfect, are a step in the right direction. But describing Applejack as "the hard working, honest farmer and cowgirl" or Rarity as "the white coated, sapphire blue rimmed Unicorn" or Spike as "a purple scaled, green spiked, baby dragon that had been hatched by the Unicorn and been under her care ever since", to name just three examples, is indefensible. Everyone reading this story is a brony. So everyone already knows those things about those characters. Stating the obvious when it isn't important to the story is just distracting. Good description doesn't include every little thing—it focuses on specific bits and pieces of a scene that, taken together, create a powerful tone, a sort of emotional lens through which the reader can view the events of the story. So the writer's goal should be to figure out exactly what details to include for the most powerful effect, and to leave out everything else.
2596424 She was the main inspirational source for the story without a doubt and the entire mythology I made behind her on PonySquare is going to have its benefits. Best of friends? Hmhmhm, we'll see over time my dear, we'll see over time.
2596457 That also came to my attention, there are tonnes of the other villains, but Nightmare Rarity is simply, left out oddly enough.
2596674 I do see the corner you are coming from and I give you your right in the mistakes. I still need to learn a lot as a writer. Though, allow me to explain certain elements.
The Pegasus/Unicorn capitalization is because I see them as names. Much like character names. I don't know why, but I just do.
As for the descriptions on the characters, granted that every soul that reads it is a brony and knows how they look, I still find it a good thing to do, because there could be character changes. Okay, this story doesn't involve them, yet...
ohmygodohmygodohmygod! A NIGHTMARE RARITY FIC!!!!! YAY! You have earned my amusement Ms. Rarity Belle. Continue!
2605219 I shall do my best to impress you my dear. But it may take some time to actually complete the first chapter.
2605243 it is quite alright dear, one must not rush a true lady with her work. It takes time for true excellence to be finished, no?
2605253 How right you are my dear. How right you are.
2605258 *nods and smiles* I can tell dear that this is the start of a wonderful friendship. *gives an expensive bolt of cloth* here, a gift: a bolt of the finest cloth from Germaneigh: made from the softest of materials: spider's silk with a golden trim, normally used for royal garb, but you will find a better use for it.
2605270 A wonderful friendship without a doubt my dear. *looks at the cloth and her mouth starts to water* This is, simply amazing!
(let's not turn the comment section onto an RP page, have already a lot of those on Skype and PonySquare.)
2605331 (start a bog and continue there?)
You are welcome dear, simply the finest for the owner of the best clothing shoppe in Equestria.
(Prefer ponysquare in general to be honest.)
It's about time Nightmarity got one (the first?) fanfic on this site. This is the only one I have found so far. It looks quite promising, and I'm very curious to see how it goes from there.
2646738 I have to admit, I haven't seen one either to be honest. then again, I am not that actively looking for them. But I am glad that you like it so far. The story will be making slow progress though given all the other projects I have running.
But you know what they say, slow and steady wins the race, right?
Nightmare Rarity...?
This is fascinating...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Hmm. Not sure what to think of the prologue. Then again, I haven't read an MLP inspired work in ages. I almost forgot this place existed, then again, boring nights call for an intriguing tale.