Wargame
Joined 25th Oct, 2012 ·
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- Wargame · 8.6k words · 36 6 · 1.5k views
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Oh Celestia, I came so hard!
2701338 Dude, did you read it yet?
Holy fuck a John Dies at the End crossover/tribute/thing. Never thought I'd see the day. I'm actually going to finish the last chapter of JDatE (which i've been sitting on for months. I'm weird, shut up.) and then give this one a go.
2701417 This is definitely a thing, you're right about that.
So I just watched the movie version for the second time this afternoon. No fucking coincidence here. None at all.
2701386
Yeah baby.
ok i am a rabid fan of the book and the movie. i'll give this a shot but those some big shoes to fill.
2701684 I talked to God, we timed this shit out bro.
2701789 Yeah, but I've always believed that if you don't have the balls to try then you don't deserve success.
I watched the film a few days ago, haven't read the book. It was entertaining, even if it didn't make much sense.
This story, I'm not going to read it immediately. I have a long to-read list but I'll be sure to get around to trying it.
HAIL KORROK!
2702557 Ok, I'd recommend reading the books though. Not because they're necessary for reading this, but they're just awesome.
2703037
3.bp.blogspot.com/_FqLYB77mXkA/R1yIj9d5VBI/AAAAAAAAAD8/A4e5UcMDBUY/s400/Korrok_Eye2.jpg
But does Bon Bon still die in the end? I mean, she isn't even in the story yet.
2703716 Read and find out! Eventually.
2703821 I try
*sees title*
FUCK YEAH. JDATE was one of the funniest books I have ever read. Now to read the actual story...
2704411 And our survey says?
2704839 Hm... Good... though it could definitely use some more of the type of cool figurative language that JDATE uses.
Example (from the also extremely good sequel)- "Don't you get it? You're wasting your time, we're just some inconsequential dipshits in this whole thing. The people behind this will take out all three of us. We're all pawns. Well, you're a pawn, we're a couple of Gummi bears your retarded little brother stuck on the chessboard."
2708652 Challenge accepted
Also pony Detective Falconer is going to be making his appearance soon. Now that I've gotten the introduction out of the way I can use all of the jokes I didn't want to waste in the first chapter.
swing and a miss. good effort though.
2710465 Well you can't please everyone I guess
Thanks for at least commenting after your downvote, any advice you think can help me improve this?
2710796 won't lie im biased. read the book nine times before the movie was even being filmed. the balance between soul sucking lunacy and batshit insanity is a bit off. and very difficult to pull off. i give you full marks for bravery in trying this though.
2710826 Its tough, that's why I tried a tribute and not a full blown crossover. Tried throwing in Corner Guy to add to the depression, rereading it I think he comes off a little weak. Also matching David Wong's level of insanity is hard without flagrantly ripping him off, the guy has a very unique talent for the weird and humorous.
For downvoting me and being cool enough to say what you didn't like I give you 4 Photo Finishes out of 5:
2710862 as i said man. I'm pretty biased. you can chalk it up to that. your the one brave enough to try and not to sound pat but that's damned impressive.
I love you because you averted the scum on the face of ponydom that is Lyra/Bon Bon shipping.
2713057 I just don't ship the pairing any more in all honesty. I used to ship it, until I realized that 90% of Lyra/Bon Bon is just "Lyra likes humans, Bon Bon is normal". It just drives me insane to read the same thing over and over again.
2713075
Couldn't have said it better herself.
What I particularly dislike is that because of this ship, Bon Bon's fanon personality has become that of a fun-hating jerk who exists only to grumble at Lyra's Oh! So! Wacky! mannerisms.
At least OctaScratch (the other great fanon ship permeating everything) occasionally manages to make things fresh every once in a while.
2713093 I like writing Bon Bon different than most, she's fun to write if you make sure her character doesn't just revolve around Lyra.
Big Scratchintosh is best Vinyl ship by the way, until I decide on another random ship for her in another fic.
2713108
WarGame you are now my weird and unknown shipping loving brony brother.
I love big ScratchIntosh fan art (that's very small amounts of art)
NotePie
DerpyOC (because of "Shipping and Handling")
And
Fredtavia
(Fredrick is the piano stallion in the Gala episode
octavia is Octavia)
Oh and
CarBon.
(Caramel and Bon Bon.)
2765539 Haha I prefer to think outside the box with shipping in my stories, there's some odd shippings that I've been writing in my stories. I change ships at a pretty alarming pace.
There's gonna be another story coming out soon with some odd shipping, its like this little game I play with myself to see what pairings I can pull off in my stories.
2766013
Well your name has Game in it so its all good
It's like me with my sad/ tragic stories of which no one really reads.
their*
2768851 No idea how I missed that, thanks for the heads up. Any opinions on the story apart from the punctuation error?
2768944
It's fun, I suppose. I never read the the story this is tributing, but I'm aware of it, I'm rather a fan of Cracked.
2769132 I would say read the book. Its no work of literary art, but its a ton of fun to read. Its a lot more inappropriate than this story, so just be aware of that. I tried to tone this down because I was submitting it to EQD.
I love the movie of this. It's one of those classics thats fantastic both sober and stoned.
I'm trying to upvote this more than once but it's not working .:-P
Glad to see you're continuing this. The book was always one of my favorites.
4479053 Haha, there's a reason why I wanted to cross it over with MLP.
4479524 Keep trying I believe in you.
4480223 Yep, got this posted 9 days before the 1 year anniversary of publishing this story. Right now we look set to have the third chapter posted before then.
This story has been reviewed by: The Equestrian Critics Society.
The review can be found Here.
Thank you for submitting your story to our group, you scored a 7.0/10, please read the full review (which contains spoilers) for more information.
Diamond Tiara huh? Interesting.
wow. Tiara's mother is...beyond horrible
4725979 Best filly hands down. Blank flanks can suck it.
4727852 Yeah, DT's mom is pretty much the worst. We actually had to tone her down before we published this because her original lines were a lot harsher.
I lost it at Vinyl yelling out how if he dies they can't fuck anymore. AJ beating on Vinyl is pretty entertaining on and of itself, we need more Vinyl and the Apple Family interacting more. Loved everything about this chapter. Lyra one was nice, DT one was amazing, this one was just a perfect Vinyl. More please.
Vinyl is an adorable trip here. More of this.
4879225 Damn, just saw that you added this story to a new bookshelf of yours and realized that I never replied to this comment. So sorry about that!
Thanks for your feedback! Vinyl x Any Apple is a ton of fun to write, her personality can just bounce off of their family dynamic in a thousand different ways since they're so different from each other. Definitely going to be more of them going down the line. Thanks for your support Tela!
Supernatural phenomena just work differently in the blue-collar neighborhoods.
But referring to a stash of alcohol as an "emergency" supply just adds that layer of legitimacy and deniability to one's drinking problems. It's not there for when you want it, it's there for when you NEED it.
They don't have much competition. The greatest academic institution in Equestria is more of a glorified dragon hatchery. It's most successful student got turned out of the school and was forced to do field studies in friendship. MIT it is not.
A horrifying, brutal monster death in this story, and self-induced asphyxiation in another. I'm starting to see a theme here with Caramel.
I'm sure she was under the influence of SOMETHING at the time. Even considering the context, it wasn't THAT funny.
Man, Vinyl must be really hard to impress, because Big Mac ROCKED this. Considering that he's a largely docile farmer fighting a bloodthirsty, spectral abomination that he couldn't even see. Not all love interests adapt quickly enough to help dispose of the monsters before they get butchered for their innocent helplessness.
As such, my favorite part of this story was the implication of Applejack constantly beating Vinyl Scratch.
Ugh, she's one of those over-critical, whiny mothers, too. The exact WORST kind to be trapped on the mortal plane to eternally torment the living.
See, this is why us humans have the Ghostbusters. You can't just rag-tag this sort of thing. Get organized, get professional, and get a theme song.
This is nice. Real nice. I don't see book crossovers around here much and I never expected to find a crossover with John Dies At The End. You've got a good grasp of the tone, the batshittiness of the events and the horror mixed with black comedy.
Wish it wasn't 41 weeks since an update, but hey, I've done worse.
You know, now that canon has established that Bon Bon is a monster hunter in deep cover, maybe if you get back to this you can actually bring her back in. I was sort of expecting her to be John, because of her position in the title, but obviously John is Vinyl. But now it seems like, being that her actual job is monster hunter, you could do something really cool with her inducting Vinyl and Lyra into the weird, fucked up world of the Sauce.
I'd kind of also like to see Discord turn up. Possibly basically to go "Nope, not helping you, I'm protecting my friend and her friends so they never have to deal with any of this crap but I really could give less than a shit about you", explaining why the Mane 6 know nothing about this when normally they are weird shit central. Also it might be kind of cool if Pinkie's sister Maud knows what's going on, and Pinkie sort of knows but is frantically blocking all knowledge of it out of her head, so like she sees this shit but then forgets it happened 30 seconds later.
6454683 Thanks for the comment! Funny thing is that this story isn't dead, it's already had anever update after a year before. We've got a chapter written down that we can't get to until we finish this next chapter, it's just that with classes going on its tough to find the time to write.
The idea for this story really came about when I was arguing with someone who said I couldn't write a story with Lyra without Bon Bon as a foil. A lot of what happens in the story was for the purpose of breaking norms with a clear end goal in mind. That being said though with Bon Bon an actual monster hunter this story could actually use her now, but I don't think we'll give her any sort of major role change.
Once again thanks for the input!
Nightwalker, you're a jerk. I love this already. One day I really need to finish John Dies At The End. I never could figure out if John actually Dies At The End.