• Member Since 12th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen February 28th

AlicornPriest


"I will forge my own way, then, where I may not be accepted, but I will be myself. I will take what they called weakness and make it my strength." ~Rarity, "Black as Night"

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Through a rift in her prison, the Night Mare calls to Twilight. It tells her things she could not believe, yet senses are true. Will she fall under her spell, or will Celestia free Twilight from the Night Mare's control before it's too late?


There's a secret to this story if you can catch it. Do you know what it is? It's imitating the plot of Hamlet.
Source for picture is gone; have drawfriend instead: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/07/drawfriend-stuff-126.html #27.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 28 )

Hm..I'm interested regardless of the tragedy tag. Still, I'm curious about that Vesper part mentioned in the opening chapter. Is that something from one of your other stories or something?

2771586
It's part of my personal fanon from the world. Canterlot was founded by eight unicorns: Matins, Lauds, Prime, Terce, Sext, Nons, Vespers, and Compline. Those are the eight bells traditionally used to mark the time in monasteries. They're in chronological order, with Vespers being the evening service, generally approximately around twilight. <--- That's why my fanon states that Twilight is a Vespers unicorn. :twilightsmile: We could make up other lineages, say that Lyra is a Prime unicorn or that Blueblood is a Lauds, but as of right now I don't actually have any lineages picked out for them. Oh, and I also intended to tie that into The Alice War.
Of course, nobody likes the Alice War, so... :facehoof:

2771926
Ah, I thought I had seen the term vespers before but I wasn't sure but now I remember seeing that mentioned in a lot of my various middle ages set books.

Well, this ain't good. Looks like Celly's onto them :trollestia:

Can't wait to see how this'll continue:twilightsmile:

hope you update this soon

No problems with using a bit of Hamlet. Its a good play and I'm surprised it doesn't inspire more stories in some way or other.

MOAR. um. If that's okay with you plz.

3459990
I write as the spirit moves me! I am a serious, talented writer! Take me seriously! :flutterrage:
In all seriousness, I'm really busy/lazy, and I keep putting it off. Before season 4 starts, I plan to post: 1) A brand new story entitled "Mother and Child," most of chapter 1 of which have written, 2) Another story called "The Waltz of Rarity" which I haven't got a single word written of yet, but I've got a neat outline!, 3) The freaking Wedding of Cadance, 4) Maybe a chapter of The Alice War? And that's not including the episode reviews I want to do for all of season 3, the papers I have (and will have) due in my RL classes, the NaNoWriMo story I'm supposed to be writing, and sleep. I've got my hands full! :raritycry:
But if you like this story, I'm working on this idea for a mini-story about all that stuff in the play I mentioned. Who the Didema, Homin, and kobolds were, what the Plague of the Ancients was, and what happened during Night Mare Moon's creation. (Of course, that last one is gonna get debunked by season 4...) :trollestia:

Is there going to be any more just found this story and I love it. :heart::pinkiesmile::heart::twilightsmile:

5458175
I'm working on the ending, I promise! I'm hoping to have it up within the next couple weeks.

cool chapter hope more soon :derpytongue2:

didn't the glasses do sorta the same thing.
also is spike chuby or not:pinkiehappy:

5559735
The glasses let her see through darkness. The cape lets her actively control shadows. Hope that helps! :twilightsmile:

Is Spike... chubby? :rainbowhuh: I suppose so. You've seen him on the show. :trollestia:

Love this story hope there is another one soon :heart::twilightsmile::pinkiesmile:

This feels unfinished. Sequel?

5598333
Perhaps. I was originally going to end it with Twilight dying of the poison instead of managing to survive, but I wanted to use the Elements of Harmony somehow, and this seemed like the most logical way. I'm a sucker for cliffhangers at the ends of stories, even if I have no plan on continuing with them. But yeah, I might consider writing a sequel about the day when Twilight comes back.

Shit just got real

Black Nova. Edgy AF

8294235
Lol, exactly. She's based off of my half-rememberings of the cover art for The Empty Room, one of the oldest fics in the community. (Seriously, click that link, and notice in the hyperlink it's number 53. For comparison, this fic, written four years ago, is in the six-digit range.)

Ummmm.... Twi decided celestia was right and that she had been deceived by nightmare Moon quite quickly. She had spent the last few days basically going insane over ensuring the return of nightmare Moon, and then when she is hit by a rebounded spell and celestia tells her that nightmare Moon deceived her, she accepts that it must be truth with virtually no fight. While it could be argued that the same thing happened in the beginning of the story, it's very possible that some mind magic could have been involved, and either way, twilight already had negative feelings for celestia for nightmare Moon to work off if. In a nutshell, I'd call her change of heart one hell of a plothole, and a deus ex machina.

8294359
I suppose so. Though part of it is, 1) Twilight was already starting to doubt Selene's intentions, 2) Celestia's explanation fills a bunch of holes in Selene's story, [EDIT 2.5: It's also Celestia's tone that really convinces her] 3) Twilight takes some time after Celestia explains it to think it over, and she realizes it's true, 4) Word of God, Twilight did everything of her own accord, but it's meant to be ambiguous, 5) That part of the conversion isn't that important, in contrast to her decision to ask for forgiveness from her friends.

Oh, and, uh, 6) it's a Star Wars reference. :derpytongue2: But you're right that it's a bit abrupt. I'd originally intended for Twilight to die, but I really wanted to use the Elements of Harmony, and this ending is what came to me. EDIT: I also wanted Twilight to die knowing she'd been misled, just to boost the tragedy of it.

8294568
but aside from that, the only other problem i see is that the story seems a tad rushed. we didn't really get any time to explore the characters, and both of the items that twilight got were really only used once.

The story is great so far but I'm confused about a couple of things. Firstly, Twilight... IS a filly in this story right? I mean she was waxing poetic something fierce which seems weird for the age I think she's supposed to be. Maybe it's the glasses? I don't know. Second, is there no Twilight Velvet in the story? I don't think she was mentioned but Twilight is awfully fixated on Celestia being her mom. If I had any other questions I can't think of them right now but yeah good story otherwise.

8540846
The current time is exactly 3 1/2 years before the pilot, but you'll find that out later. Twilight is a filly, yes, but she's always been precocious, and while the reason why she seems unusually erudite is explained in the following Nightmare, I don't think it's too OOC for her to be waxing poetic here. But yes, it's supposed to sound out of place.

As to Twilight Velvet... you know, I don't recall. Feel free to come up with your own explanations. My best guesses? I think I may have been following the "Twilight moved into the castle" fanon. Also, there's a certain amount of hero worship going on here. Yes, Twilight has a mother, but Celestia is the perfect mother. Like Shining Armor said, everypony becomes enamoured with Princess Celestia one way or another, and they eventually figure out their emotions regarding her. She really is a force of personality. It may also be a bit of myself being cast into Twilight here. When I find a mentor who truly cares for me, more than my parents ever did, I tend to get a little fixated. :applejackunsure: Lastly, and the reason I know I actually had in mind while planning the story, is that this story is heavily derived from Hamlet, and this is the ponified version of the relationship between Hamlet and Claudius (with a bit of Gertrude thrown in there). Where Hamlet rejected Claudius for not being his true father, Celestia inverts this, rejecting Twilight by refusing to be her mother.

Honestly? I didn't include Twilight Velvet (or Night Light, for that matter) in this story because I forgot about them, and they didn't map well onto characters in Hamlet. :twilightsheepish:

i love how you showed trixie's fanily life as a filly!

Good story though wish it had a sequel

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