Cheerilee has a difficult job. Ponies often believe that children are perfectly innocent. They are, most of the time, perfectly wrong about this. Small fillies are remarkably inventive, and will often stop at nothing to do exactly the opposite of what parents ask them to do. As a result, Cheerilee has become something of an expert in things that most parents assume are simply not a problem when dealing with schoolchildren.

Today, Cheerilee has just met the first perfectly innocent filly she has ever seen. The thing is, her name is the exact opposite of innocent.

This story contains dirty words, particularly with regard to sexual content of a kind that would get FiMFiction kicked off Patreon. Viewer discretion is advised.

Blame FOME for this.

Many are the tales of otherworldly beings coming to mortal peoples to offer their powers in exchange for something precious. Twilight never gave those stories much attention, until one such being arrived in her home one day, offering her one of those infamous contracts. Unfortunately, the demon might have wanted to choose his clients more carefully.

Having known her for her full time in Ponyville, Berry Punch could say a lot of things about Twilight Sparkle, starting with how enough booze to loosen her up would be irresponsible to give to a unicorn that powerful. But Berry had to admit, Twilight always learned from her mistakes. Sometimes that meant making daring new ones, but she learned.

Berry's own mistakes, well, nopony's perfect. And apparently the same goes for kirin. You can't blame a mare for being curious.

An entry in the 2021 May Pairing Contest. Rated Teen for substances that S&P wouldn't allow into Equestria. (Remember, Faust wanted to call Berry "Pinot Noir.") Contains incidental comic references.

Following the retirement of Celestia and Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle is now the unquestioned and undisputed ruler of all her land – including the transport networks. That means the major rail strike now looming will be all her fault.

It's the magical discovery of the millennium! Using a series of magical techniques devised by Starlight for leveraging limited magical power for greater effect, and a theory that Twilight quietly snuck out of the Forbidden Section with, a spell has been developed that can reverse Death itself!

There's just one problem: Ponyville doesn't exactly have a reputation for murders. They've tested the spell on a mouse, sure, but they've yet to find a dead pony who fits the requirements for the spell.

So Glimmer suggests that they make a dead pony. And, after racking their brains for a while, there's only one pony that both of them would willingly murder.

Written in a day under the influence of some very bad writing prompts.

Unfortunately, Scootaloo died while performing a stunt. Fortunately, her trip to the afterlife wasn't as scary as she expected.

An entry for the May 2021 Original Pairings Contest. Proofread by SockPuppet.

Sunny believed the tales. Really believed, in a way that most ponies didn't anymore. About the Elements of Harmony, and about Twilight Sparkle. Back when Equestria had princesses, and was whole, when every creature knew the real power of Friendship. She believed⁠—and she knew that, one day, if she believed hard enough, it could be again.

Elsewhere, distant, Twilight Sparkle watches her would-be student, and frets.

A Russian translation by NovemberDragon is available here. | Русский перевод от NovemberDragon доступен здесь.

A Chinese translation by forgivenlove is available here here. | 这里有forgivenlove的中文翻译。

A reading by ObabScribbler is available here.

Part 1 of Equestrian Scions, which continues with The Dreamer and Me.

A late addition to the "But what happened to Equestria?" story pile.

[04/29/21 - 05/02/21] Featured. That's a first for me. Thank you all so much.

The stars will soon be right, releasing an ancient horror from its cage.

Twilight has something to say about that.

Has a reading done by StraightToThePointStudio.

This story is a sequel to Dark Scootaloo.

It has been some month's since the messy death of Sphincter, though she was wiped out the cult of the Sphincts has only spread it's influence over the city of Equestriaville. Wallflower Blush is a green girl who goes to Canterlot High School, her little sister Sunflower is now involved with the Cult of the Sphincts. Can she save her from the cult, well with the help of her friend Homura Johnson she will but, what will be the price..............

THIS IS A ENTRY INTO SCALPYS SUNFLOWER CONTORT, THIS STORY WILL ALSO RAISE MONEY FOR LGBTGQ CHARITY'S. PLEASE REMEMBER TO SUPPORT GAY

Comedy is dead.
We murdered it and yeeted its remains into a vat of pudding.
The Christian vegetables told us to do it.
Have a stroke in story form. Spike solves problems with his Everything Gun™.

WARNING: CONTAINS twilight being a weed eater and your typical ravaging of the random tag.