The stars will soon be right, releasing an ancient horror from its cage.
Twilight has something to say about that.
Has a reading done by StraightToThePointStudio.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 30th Nov, 2015
- offline last seen 8 minutes ago
Rambling Writer
Our job is not to give readers what they want; our job is to show them things they never imagined. --Walt Williams
Rambling Writer
Joined 30th Nov, 2015 ·
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Nobody:
Twilight: Nope!
Pfft. I just wish you had elaborated on who 'The Unspeakable One' was, but given that author's note, I'm guessing even you don't know?
Also, I believe it's Silver Shoals.
a nice bath followed by a nice story, now i just need some random stranger on discord to message me "69" then i would consider this a nice day
10790595
This is what I get for banging a story out in half an hour and not doing any proofreading.
10790608
Eh, it happens. At least you care. And that being the case—since I'm that guy—
Sorry, I can't help it.
No one told her? Prosperous!
This was a funny short story.
I was already laughing at the rest of the story, but this...this is the moment where I lost it completely.
I loved every word of this.
This was magnificent!
Kevin Lee *steps up, looks around*: "Hmmm. Well, that didn't work. Wait... I've got it! 'Hastur! Hastur! Hastur!'
"
"
"
*the unspeakable one breaks free*
Twilight Sparkle: "Wha--how the fuck did you know!?
Kevin Lee: "I'm from before MLP. Ciào, bitch!
*days later*
"
Alondro *looks about*: "How the fuck did Kevin beat me here!? That was supposed to be my trolling
In a seedy bar in the time after time ended:
"It sucked. Someone kept pushing my stars around each time I could almost escape. It took almost 50 millennium till I got out!"
"Oh, yeah. That was that miniature fop, Twilight Sparkle. Did it to all of us in some way. Can you believe she had a rolodex for us all?"
~Skeeter The Lurker
Heh. An obvious solution, really.
(To be fair to the Ancient and Abominable Ones, this is a bit of a cheat: Equestria is apparently a small pocket universe with its own set of rules, including stars which are clearly quite close and smaller than Equestria's Moon. )
Short, sweet, brilliant. Does this count as Cutting the Gordian Knot?
"And with strange aeons even death may die"
Short, but sweet. Loved it.
At first, I thought you meant "hackneyed" instead of "hacky", but upon more thought, "hacky" would work , too. The same meaning as hacked-together" or bodged together, I guess?
It looks like, through eldritch forces, the Unspeakable One managed to dislike this story. Alas, with strange aeons, even 0 downvotes may be denied.
Top Kek right there
~Reggie
10790993
Yeah, NEARLY everyone forgets those little tidbits that make the whole point.
Money can't buy happiness BUT it can buy that which will make you happy
The early bird gets the worm, the second mouse gets the cheese
ect., ect., ect.
10790638
I had half expected it to go something like
"Spike, I need you to go and unplug Delta Equulei. We'll keep it off for a couple weeks."
"Sure thing, Twilight. Want me to replace the bulb when I plug it back in? It's only got a few decades left anyway."
After updating the sisters on the plan, Twilight gets a note in Celestia's hornwriting saying "Be sure you plug it back in the same place! Putting the bulb in the wrong place could accidentally release a different eldritch horror!" with Luna's hornwriting underneath going "THAT WAS ONE TIME, SISTER!"
bruh. Thanks for making me laugh
Fhtagn!
Maximum effort
10791545
"
*Twilight writes to the former princesses*: "Why do these things even happen like this!? There's no logic or reason behind them!!"
*Celestia sends her the "MONOPOLY FOR IMMORTALS" game box*: "Oh, we forgot to tell you. You should read the rules, Twilight. We're still playing. You're only just joining in."
Twilight: "SERIOUSLY!!??
This story can be summarized as follows:
"The Scarlet King himself, ruler of all existence...plead for our lives, for he is coming"
"No he isn't."
"Oh...ok then"
Very short and uh...that's it really. It made me giggle. 1+
This was just so much adorableness, mysteriousness, and funny-ness happening all at the same time! Tis a great mix of things that you combined into one heck of a beautiful story! Truly blissful! I hope ya didn't mind, but I couldn't resist making a reading of this fic of yours!
Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/lPLGl4Vq7HY
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
Alternative title: When commom sense destroys the movie plot in the first five minutes.
10792113
My thought went to 2317, the Devourer of Worlds, but yeah, same thing. If you depend on an alignment of the stars, the leylines coalescing in just the right way, and the emotions of the world reaching a frothing high...then someone able to alter the stars, change the course of leylines, or just throw a world wide party for a day, would make your own plans rather moot.
The Stars Were Not Right, because she went right for the stars.
XD I love when a monumental problem is solved with startling simplicity.
10790989
Solving a complex problem with a stunningly simple answer that works because of a technicality? Yup pretty much nails it.
Most prophecies of Doom can be avoided, reversed, or shown to not be predictions of Doom at all provided you use loopholes and technicalities to fullfil thier requirements. Look at the Nightmare Moon prophecy, by all measure it was totally right if you just use the loophole of symbolism .
"The Stars Shall aid in her escape. She will bring about Night Eternal". The Elements are represented on Twilight's cutie mark by Stars, the prophecy never specifies who "She" is. The Elements freeing Luna from Nighmare Moon can easily be seen as "Stars" aiding and "Escape". And Night never ends, when it's day on one side of the globe it's night on the other, night just moves locations it's eternal already. So Bringing About Night Eternal is basically Luna getting back to her Job.
Also most doomsday prophecies only even mention a threat retiring or arising with out saying if good or evil will win. Some do specific naturally, but most are vague enough. It's why predictions are useful in story telling, in to the in universe characters they don't change anything, the prophecy is going to happen, maybe just not how they expect it will.
10793010
It is also pretty funny that in this setting 'moving a star' is considered simple.
"The evil demon shall be defeated only when Sun and Moon both appear high in the sky"
"uh, and ... the clouds will rain chocolate milk?"
Discord: "somebody called?"
"I give up"
"Oh hi, Mark!"
10793034
The Book of Revelations is like:
But actually, ALL the old Doomsday prophecies were pretty clear on the outcome. It's the new-age relativism crap that can't pick a winner. Which is why they're so lame. While the NEW gods are wringing their hands in indecision, we OLD GODS shall conquer the UNIVERSE!! MUWAH HA HA HA HA!! *Alondro waves tentacles around while cackling... like this!*
I love the contrast between the cosmic horror-esque beginning, and then the comedy of Twilight and Luna just going "yeah not today" and casually ruining the plans of an Eldritch Being with about 10 seconds of effort.
10793428
1. The Book of Revolution
2. Written by One Guy
3. About how much he hated Rome so more a book of curses.
Well, astronomers are the sort of people who will spend twenty years to observe a star orbit a black hole once
justto confirmthatif Einstein Was Right (Again!)™. Got to wonder when and why the lists were transferred to Rolodex cards, though; stone carvings are so much more permanent. Though I will admit that the latter are much harder to move when the situation requires it. Engraved sheets of nickel would be a good compromise between durability and portability.10793559 Uhm, also kinda the Book of Daniel... Matthew chapter 24... It's repeated a number of times. Gotta read the WHOLE thing, not just clips.
10794178
There are more ancient texts than the Bible let's just leave it at that ok?
10794118
"Well, astronomers are the sort of people who will spend twenty years to observe a star orbit a black hole once just to confirm that Einstein Was Right (Again!)™. "
Of course they do that. That is how science works. You must keep checking. if you start saying "we checked it X years ago and it was working" it is quick to become a slightly different case of 'ipse dixit'.
10794590
, and (b) permit what is now referred to as “data mining” for previously unknown past observations of a target, e.g., to better refine the orbit of a newly discovered Kuiper belt object.
I fully accept that confirming past results through repetition is an absolutely necessary part of science, since it only takes one rigorously verified exception to accepted theory to signal new science (I’ve got my eye on you, Muon g-2)! I was merely pointing out that — of necessity — astronomers are known for keeping meticulous records of observations over long periods of time in order to (a) verify or deny theories, since creating and operating experiments at stellar physical and temporal scales is prohibitively difficult at this time
You’ve got to admit, though, that Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity has one heck of a track record at this point, and any confirmation that there’s even the smallest crack in it would be really, really big news. That one wasn’t found by the observations I referenced simply means that Einstein Was Right (Again!)™.
Thankfully, Twilight did not do that earlier.
"Princess Celestia! I was reviewing Predictions and Prophecies and saw there was a stellar conjunction that would release Nightmare Moon, and I know moving the stars is very difficult, but I studied every tome in the library on it and managed to shift the conjunction forward several centuries so you'll have more time to prepare and... Princess Celestia? Why are you crying?"
10794291 But if yer gonna talk about the Bible, it helps to actually know everything in it. I know bits and pieces of a dozen other religions, but not enough to speak authoritatively about them, beyond the generalities.
I admit being very conflicted about your concept: a Great Old One versus the mare i love most in the worlds? Who do i cheer for more?
But I enjoyed it!
10794970
Pfffft oh my god xDD
So, you HAVE been to New Jersey!
"He's totally peeved, isn't he?" Discord asked munching on a box of popcorn.
"Oh yeah totally," Twilight giggled, helping herself to some popcorn.
Not sorry.
Sure, ya overgrown Cthulhu tsundere.
Ah yes, the age-old nemesis of all eldritch beings whose existence is chaos incarnate:
OCD Book Horse.
Good thing she’s so organized.