Cadance didn't know what to expect when her formerly banished Aunt Luna returned from her thousand year banishment. But, she's quite entertained by the hilarity. Especially if it means a chance to play a little joke.

Edited by Habanc. Preread by The Albinocorn, Foals Errand, and Timaeus

Cover art was done by Silfoe and used with permission! In fact, this fic is a gift for her!

Now with Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI.

"A mortal life has meaning, purpose. Existence is defined by its fragility. Immortality is a sick mockery of life, with a caricature of significance.”

To the condemned, everything is beautiful.
To be mortal is to truly live.

When a colt named "Bad Dude" storms into Celestia's personal study and declares himself as her latest arch enemy, the Princess can't help but nearly gush from the sight. As perhaps the cutest villain Celestia has ever encountered, she hurriedly calls for Luna to meet him as well.

But is there more to "Bad Dude" than his cute exterior would suggest?

No. No there is not.

Now with a youtube reading! HERE!

Celestia searches a ruined city for supplies after the end of the world.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]

(Clean family-friendly comedy with adorable Celestia being adorable, absolutely nothing explicit) Now with youtube readings! The Gentlemanly Reading by The Magpie, the Scientific-Plushie-Method reading by HanaYoriUta, And the Manly Reading by CaptainBron3y!

Should you find yourself a visitor to Equestria, it would benefit you to be able to tell a pony's rubby-tubby from his or her boop-button and fuzzy-wuzzy. Herein is your definitive guide, written by an expert upon the science. Published with the royal approval of Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna and the silent tolerance of Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia.

Published by the Royal Canterlot Publishing House for the Royal Equestrian Diplomatic Mission to Earth. For human audiences only. No alicorns (or humans) were harmed in the making of this guide.

Inspired by this thread by Nuke

Daniel Habbuck, UN ambassador to Equestria, hates his job.

Sure it pays well, but it's hardly worth having to put up with flank-kissing politicians and the stomach twisting anxiety of knowing that he represents all of humanity.
One night, after a particularly tense meeting leaves him wound up, Daniel is desperate for somepony to talk to. With his friends either busy or too far away, he hires a batpony prostitute, just so he can have some company.

As he soon learns, there's much more to this streetwalker than meets the eye...

Rated T for sexual references, but no clop.

Special thanks to WingmanRed, Georg, and Kraken Hatchling for proofreading and editing

EDIT: Special, special thanks to Comrade Pony for the suggestions
EDIT: Deleted cover art.

Only a few hours after she learned of the Griffon Empire's invasion, Princess Celestia surrendered herself to the griffon army and asked for an audience with the Griffon Emperor.

The Emperor thinks she's here to negotiate Equestria's surrender.

He's wrong.

Spanish Translation
Polish Translation

For years, Luna has endured the guilt of Nightmare Moon and subjected herself to the nightmares of the Tantabus as punishment. When she lost control of it, her friends in Ponyville were able to stop it and things seemed all right for a time...

...but what about Celestia? What about Luna's closest friend, a pony who had no idea what was going on in her little sister's mind?

Before Nightmare Moon Equestria was a very different place: Celestia ruled from a capitol where the Everfree forest now stands and Luna ruled from the Crystal Empire. When the two sisters decide to take a vacation together and leave their countries in the hoofs of stewards Luna is gravely betrayed by a pony who was once her most faithful adviser: Sombra.

Most of us are shunned from their society, but there are a few stars in the night. Cranky Doodle Donkey is one of them. He saved my life, and now I wanted to support him at his happiest. Too bad that his wedding was in the center of ponyville.

Written for u/GoldenStripes because he challenged me on reddit.

Also for u/DarkLordSnuffles because bugpone.

Huge thanks to superluminous for editing this! I wrote this while completely jacked on monster, so lots of mistakes were made. Glad you guys liked it regardless, but most of them have been fixed!

Aaand featured, June 14-17 2015. Words cannot describe how happy this makes me.

Dramatic Reading by CaptainBron3y