Ad Infinitum

by Muppetz

A sacrificial lamb

AD INFINITUM

~Muppetz~

~~~~~

She had perfect snow white fur that made fine silk look like sandpaper. She had long flowing tresses, encompassing all the colors of warmth and serenity. She was tall and slender. Two angelic wings rested perfectly at her sides, neatly folded among an impressive set of resplendent white feathers. Over her shoulders sat a thick band of chaste gold. Intricate scrollwork was carved into the precious metal in patterns that one could spend hours losing themselves in. A deep violet jewel sat proudly in the center. An amethyst mined from the very roots of a mountain. The crown atop her head modeled after the chest piece rested behind the long graceful horn.

She was the beloved envy of every mare. The vestal desire of every stallion. This mare, this pinnacle of equine beauty and grace stared back into her eyes with expertly veiled emotion. Those rose colored eyes piercing her very self.

Celestia turned from the mirror. Retreating to her inner chambers. Her mind was uneasy. It had been for quite some time. It was strange. She couldn’t ever recall feeling this…tired. She hadn’t done anything terribly taxing today. Her limbs were not sore, nor did she feel any extraordinary level of fatigue.

She decided it was merely all the excitement lately. After all, it was not every day that Equestria crowned a new princess. The corners of Celestia lips lifted. Her prized pupil, the Savior of Equestria. She was born for the role. She was smart, kind, powerful. Celestia’s smile grew with pride. She was a natural leader.

“It’s rather selfish of you, you know.”

The voice, though unmistakable, still caused Celestia to jump. She had forgotten what it was like having the draconequus in the same castle.

“Discord! What did I tell you I would do if you snuck into my room again?!” She asked maternally.

“Oh Celestia,” he said sweetly, “I know a bluff when I see one. And besides you need my help.”

“You think too much of yourself, Discord. You always have,” Celestia noted coldly.

A cast iron pot and kettle suddenly appeared in either of Discords outstretched paws. “Need I really say it out loud.”

Celestia rubbed her temple. “I don’t feel like playing games right now, Discord. Go see if Luna will play with you. I’ve had a long day,” Celestia sighed, collapsing on a plush dais.

The draconequus smiled nostalgically, floating on air as he sailed lazily about the alicorn’s chambers. “Ah yes, the coronation. Young Twilight Sparkle is now a princess.” Discord annunciated excitedly, as if the pending conversation were well cooked meal ready to be devoured. “I really must say this is a new side of you Celestia. I never remember the old you being quite so …cruel.” He practically giggled the last word out.

Celestia raised her head from her dais, fixing the draconequus with a cold stare. “What are you talking about.”

“Oh come now, Celestia. I know I’ve been out of it for a few millennia, but ponies don’t change so drastically without good cause. Don’t get me wrong I’m all for wild personality arcs, I just never expected it from you. It’s actually quite refreshing,” he chuckled happily.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The alicorn insisted stiffly.

“Really? You’re going to play dumb with me too?” After a steely gaze from the alicorn he continued. “Humph, I suppose no one can say you aren’t dedicated to the part.”

“Spit out, Discord.”

“Look at the pieces, Celestia. Have you really been arranging them so carefully all these years that you’ve forgotten why they’re in place?”

Celestia didn’t respond.

“Riddle me this, Princess. For what purpose did Equestria need yet another alicorn princess to rule? You’ve already placed one upon the throne of the crystal kingdom. Are your precious ponies not happy? Is there not a well established market? Is there not peace?

No, you have all that! So I suppose we can safely assume the machine of government is not the leash that brought this new figurehead to heel. So what then? What does this nigh utopian existence lack that only Twilight Sparkle can give? I think it’s safe to assume all this pomp and circumstance would hardly be necessary if this were all for the self esteem of your latest student.”

“Get to the point, Discord.”

The draconequus huffed. “You put years and years of work into THIS filly. You have been watching that pony since birth, subtlety guiding and directing her to the future YOU selected. Why? You must have had a reason. Why spend all this time conditioning this particular pony? I doubt it’s just out of pure benign recognition. You must be training her for something.” Discord smiled as his point slowly came to the surface. “She is your replacement.”

Celestia rose to her hooves, growing angry at Discord questioning her motives. “You make it sound like I’m brain washing her. I have never forced anything on Twilight. She is naturally gifted, immeasurably powerful, and she has achieved her station by her own merit. She chose her destiny. I merely showed her the way.”

“Yes, I suppose by that logic I can set a trail of cheese cubes to a mouse trap and say the rodent died by its own choice now couldn’t I?”

“You make it sound like I’ve condemned her,” Celestia rebuked.

“Haven’t you?”

Celestia became quiet. “She will do well. Twilight will be good for Equestria.”

“Undoubtedly,” Discord surprisingly agreed, “but I think you’re omitting one crucial detail.” He said becoming ominously serious. “What happens to you when Twilight Sparkle ascends the throne?”

Celestia didn’t answer, her visage growing cold.

“Let me guess,” he grinned. “You sit upon her shoulder, whispering word of sage advice, still ever the teacher, until one day, she no longer needs your words. The training wheels come off, and you only have but one last lesson to teach.”

Celestia’s heart was like ice, as tears threatened to well in her eyes.

“It’s really rather manipulative of you. Not that I’m that surprised you always favored the long game. But to your own protégé.” Discord clicked his tongue. “Even I think that’s a bit harsh.”

“What would you have me do?!” Celestia erupted. “I can’t keep doing this forever, Discord. I can’t keep losing them!”

The draconequus did not seem shocked by the alicorn’s outburst. Instead a flash of genuine pity flashed across his face. “You really love them, don’t you?” Celestia nodded, tears still threatening to spill. “You should have known better. You knew it would never last.”

“I don’t know whether to envy or pity you,” Celestia eyed the draconequus. “To never suffer loss but at the expense of never experiencing love. Have you become so jaded you’ve forgotten what it’s like?”

“I am jaded because I HAVEN’T forgotten,” Discord spat. “I was ancient before you were born, Celestia. You would do well to remember that. You have suffered immortality for…what…four thousand years? Maybe five?” Celestia nodded. Discord just snorted unimpressed. “If you truly loved you ponies you would have had the common sense to stay away from them. For both of your sakes.”

“How can I?! I love my little ponies more than anything. Yet I can not save them no matter how much or how little I intervene. All I can do is slowly watch them burn themselves to ash and then cling to the embers of the next generation only knowing full well that I am going to lose them too!”

“You claim to love them? You wish to entangle yourself in their lives and surround yourself with mortals? This is the price. You knew this.”

“Why do I deserve this torment?!” she almost screamed. Tears now flowing freely “Why is everything I love taken from me?! I have lost EVERYTHING! Everyone I have ever loved has died and I can’t even move on and join them! I’m stuck in the cycle of misery until…” she stopped herself, choking on her words.

“…until you find a suitable replacement, a sacrificial lamb.” Discord finished, coming full circle. “You would really wish this burden on her. To offer your own immortality to one so young?”

“No. I hate myself for it. I despise myself for it,” she corrected. “But just this once, this ONE time, can I not be selfish. I’ve sacrificed everything! I have been strong for thousands of years. Why can’t I be weak just this once?!”

“She’ll resent you for it,” Discord warned quietly.

“It will be her choice. I would never force it on her.”

“But you know she’ll accept. The girl would move a mountain if you but asked it of her. She’ll say yes, because she knows it’s what you want. She will say yes, because she loves Equestria, and she knows she has the power to help it prosper.

She won’t actually understand though. How can she? She is a mortal clutching at the concept of the infinite. It won’t take her long to realize her friends and family are turning to dust before her eyes. She’ll slowly come to realize the horror of her situation.”

Celestia blinked, a hot tear rolling down her cheek. “Then…maybe she will truly understand why I could not bare this curse any longer. I can not… I will not watch her die. A mortal life has meaning, purpose. Existence is defined by its fragility. Immortality is a sick mockery of life, with a caricature of significance.”

“What about Luna?” Discord asked.

More tears collected in the rosy depths of Celestia’s eyes. “Luna does not need me anymore. She’s really come into her own since her return. She will be there where I am not. Teaching, guiding, she has much to offer Equestria. More than even she realizes.” Celestia nodded sagely, as she swallowed the lump in her throat. “Luna will forgive me. If anyone were to understand this choice, it would be her.”

Discord remained quiet an impassive expression across his face.

“Will you look after them?” Celestia choked out, teary eyes pleading with the draconequus. “Please, promise me you will.” The desperation in her voice was wildly uncharacteristic for the alicorn. Even while confronting her own death, the alicorn’s concern was with those she would leave behind.

Discord pulled a polka dotted handkerchief from thin air. “Oh spare me the teary pleas, Celestia,” he murmured. “You know I would.”

Celestia accepted the piece of fabric with a sniffle of a laugh. Before drying her eyes.

“You’re serious about this?” It was more of a statement than a question.

Celestia nodded anyway. “Yes. I’ve done my part, Discord. I have nothing left to teach. Twilight will make a wonderful princess.” Celestia sniffled once more. “Hopefully she will be stronger than I was.”

“I think I’m going to miss you, Celestia,” Discord decided. “Where will I go for such cheery and uplifting conversations when you’re gone?”

Celestia smiled, but didn’t say anymore. Discord took the opportunity to vanish in a flash of light. Celestia walked to the long mirror in the corer of her room. The beautiful mare staring back at her had not changed except the slight sheen of teardrops down her cheeks.

The alicorn closed her eyes, composing herself. Images of the unicorn filly flashed behind her eyes and the tears threatened to return, only to be stopped by more distant memories. She loved Twilight dearly, but she was not the first. Celestia recalled many of her beloved students. She’d lost all of them to inexorable march of time.

No more.

Celestia swallowed again, still fighting the lump in her throat. “I hope you will forgive me one day.”

~~~~~

Comments

[Bolt]

Awesome, i'm glad you posted this.

[metallusionsismagic]

Celestia recalled many of her beloved students. She’d lost all of them to inexorable march of time.

Well, except for that one she banished to a realm of eternal high school. But we don't talk about that one.
A lot of missing commas in dialogue and some other minor typos. Should I compile a list, or do you have someone already working on it?

[Impress Me]

This was good.

[Haunted Toaster]

FUCK YOU FEELS!

[Haunted Toaster]

2816704 LOL

[silvadel]

Celestia needs to be careful, those elysium fields might not be so green, or exist at all.

Also, you are setting a precedent. By giving up your rule in this way, you set the stage for none of the ruling diarchs to live past where they no longer wish to. In essence, future alicorns are very likely to follow in your hoofsteps and retire at some point.

So do not be so hard on yourself. Just look before you leap. TU.

[Muppetz]

2816704
Please do.
I just cranked this out one night on a whim.
I never had any editors look at it. I just tried to comb it myself.
But any help is appreciated.

[ToriBoshi42]

Great work, needs more attention. I would like it to be more clear who the speaker is, and also don't skip down to a new paragraph when the same character is speaking. It gets confusing. also, I suggest you space the words out by paragraph. it feels really claustrophobic as it stands.

Many feels were had

[UseFistNotMouth]

Ugh. Sad immortality fics are... frustrating.

It's funny I had an idea nearly the exact opposite of this. Long story short, Twi believes Celestia feels like she does in this fic and confronts her about it. Celestia slows down Twi's perception of time so that a single second lasts an entire day which Twi experiences in wonderment at all the minutiae she can now appreciate. Once the spell wears off Celestia tells Twi "That was one single second of time, and you didn't even see a millionth of what it truly holds. I can't think of a single reason I would ever want to have fewer seconds than I possibly can."

[Siiver7]

Muppetz, do I have permission to quote this from you?

If no, would it help to persuade you if I added 'sir'?

[Integral Archer]

I think you misspelled "infinitum."

[MissPegasis]

Cool fic. I thought it was nice. I don't think this turned out as heart wrenching as you meant it to be, but it did turn out nicely

[Epic Brony 4 Life]

Damn, this is....deep.

I've always found sad immortality fics to be intriguing. A look into the darker side of young eternal and beauty undying. To float, forever stagnant, in the seas of time, while friends, family, succumb to the currents, and sink away into its murky depths.
This was an excellent piece; many feels were had and tears shed in sorrow, for Princess Celestia and Twilight alike

[Dysons_Fear]

Love the immortality fics. Spike or the Princesses, it doesn't matter. Always so full of feels.

[Mantax64]

THE FEELS! OH GAWD THE FEELS
(1000th Viewer )

[onlyinprivate]

No, you have all that! So I suppose...

"No, you have all...
Should start with quotes.

She won’t actually understand...

Same.

She’d lost all of them to inexorable march of time.

She’d lost all of them to the inexorable march of time.
Insert "the."

[Zanec]

Whilst this was a more than decent read, I just don't believe Celestia would be that sad over the deaths of the ones closest to her to finally gain peace when she has lived over 5000 years...
I agree with the sentiment tho, the most precious things in life are those which we cannot achieve, at least until we achieve them.
Just a personal opinion.
P.S - Great portrait.