Queen Chrysalis likes it when I boop her on the nose. It helps her relax. However, one day, Princess Twilight Sparkle bursts in, thinking that Queen Chrysalis has put a spell on me.

Surely, when I explain to her that I boop her, she'll understand. Right?

Right?

Inspired by a delightful flash game that can be found here.

Featured on August 28th, 2016. This is as unexpected as it is amazing.

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

Ocellus has been decorating her dormroom as of late, and has heard of a Flea Market where she can pick up the bookcase she needs to complete her set. She's sure she'll get a good deal, but her friend Gallus is not so convinced.

Ocellus is about to learn one of the facts of life...

When haggling, Bring a Griffon.

EDIT: And hey! Thanks to SPANIARD KIWI for translating this fic into Spanish. You can find that translation here.

EDIT 2: Okay! Thanks to Disharmony Tree for translating this fic into Chinese! You can find that translation here!

This, this is why I spend so much time in the archives, Twilight thought, holding a dusty old book close in her magic. Inside the book were a number of advanced spells, each one more interesting than the last in some sort of circular logic that Twilight could only assume went to infinity

Twilight galloped through the doors to her tower and leaped onto her favorite reading pillow on the balcony. She opened the book to the table of contents.

Oh my gosh! They’re all so interesting! Ooh, an age spell! That…might be a bit beyond me. But here right below it – a duplication spell!

Previous Episode: The Brief Reign of Princess Twily
Current Episode: Season Zero – Episode Two
Next Episode: Works Every Time

Following her tragic death by yet another villain of the week, Twilight Sparkle finds herself facing something all alicorns eventually uncover.

The continue screen.

Twilight’s surge of uncontrolled magic changed ponies into pot plants, hatched a petrified dragon egg and gave her Princess Platinum study plushie a makeover and an existential crisis.

Celestia’s still not sure how to deal with that one, but at least Twilight has someone to remind her to eat now.

Twilight Velvet's mother, Evening Star was an odd pony with a hobby of making dolls. Over the course of her life, she made many and most were simple toys to comfort a newborn foal or young filly but a rare few were far more sentimental and held more personal meanings. Some said they had a bit of personality all their own, often being in the right place perk up a sad day. Her last few creations carried with them fables of moving when no pony was watching but few ever tried to put the theory to the test.

Then again, none of her works were at ground zero to a record breaking magic surge.

When Lord Tirek asks Cozy Glow what seems like a normal question, he has no idea the floodgates that will open... and how his relationship to the little villain might ultimately be changed.

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A small bit of villainous sweetness inspired by both the dynamic of the Evil Trio and the cover art by soundwavepie.

After a long day of flight practice with Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash discovers the filly knows next to nothing about preening and takes it upon herself to teach her.

Warning: May Contain Feels and/or D'aww moments.

Featured on FIMFiction on 7/20/2013. Yay!
Featured on EQDaily on 09/12/2013 Double Yay!
Reading by TheLostNarrator (excellent!): Here
Reading by DRWolf: Here
Reading by Joehighlord: Here
Riffed by Draklox: Here
Korean Translation: Here
Spanish Translation: Here
French Translation: Here
Chinese Translation: Here

In the final days of her life, an exceptionally faithful student muses on the subject of her perfect and immortal mentor Applejack.

Now with Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!