Seriously, a lot.

(Now with a Spanish translation by the generous SPANIARD KIWI!)

There's a plague infecting Equestria, and Diamond Tiara has taken it upon herself to cure it. They may be stronger in number and in sheer absurdity, but she's got a little something special to even the odds.

That something being a three-foot long magically enchanted samurai sword. Look, nobody said this was gonna be pretty.

(Written for the FIMFiction Writeoff Association's inaugural writeoff. The prompt was "Lonely Happiness". I got a bit creative with it.)

The plan, he thought, was perfect. Instead of returning to the mortal world as a shade of his former self, King Sombra would transmute his soul into the body of his greatest foe, using her influence and power to destroy Equestria from the inside and take vengeance on the Princesses that stole his beloved empire.

There's just one problem: after her fight with Tirek, Twilight Sparkle changed her address. This turns out to be a much bigger problem than Sombra thought. A Dinky-Doo-sized problem, to be precise.

5th-place finalist in the More Most Dangerous Game contest.

Cover art crudely Photoshopped by me from this and this. I am art and so can you.

Reading by Neighrator Pony

It's a beautiful day in Ponyville. Then again, every day is a beautiful day for Derpy Hooves.

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, humans were suddenly all over the freakin' place.

Legends said nothing but horrible things about them, and that the only way to deal with a human was to make them no longer be a human. First contact showed otherwise, and cooler heads prevailed. The newly-organized Transmogrification department was gutted, with most of the agents sent to work elsewhere. Many government employees were organized to help the humans settle in; the best and brightest got to work at the extremely challenging job of calculating multiversal exchange rates so that human cash could be traded in for bits.

Now, for the first time ever, you can see what it's like to work at the Conversion Bureau.
(Don't forget to upvote if you fave!)

This is by far my most popular story, so... thanks, everyone!

.

do {
Sit;
Think;
Eat;
Observe the crack in reality;
} while (true);

/*
An experimental creepy tale coded by me and written by a random number generator. It's a crack-fic in more ways than one.
*/

SF (canon species only; no humans) Ponies were magically and genetically engineered to be the perfect servitor race. They are powerful, adaptable, intelligent and completely under the control of their creators. A laboratory accident frees one such pony from her mental chains, but how can one mare save herself and the rest of her kind if she doesn't even know she's a slave?
This is not the Equestria you know and these are not your little ponies... not yet, anyway.

Tags: Adventure, Diamond Dogs, Gryphons, NO HUMANS (did I mention that already?)
Other tags: historical, mind control, Clarke's 3rd Law, excessive use of high energy physics, before they were famous.
Detailed review by PaulAsaran.
Cover art by endrome , used with permission.
Russian translation (partial -- 'unofficially' completed in the comments)
A Soot-Covered World, book 1.

Pincer is a changeling, a proud soldier of Queen Chrysalis. After the failed invasion of Canterlot, he finds himself trapped and at the mercy of Princess Celestia's Royal Guard. Believing that Celestia sees his species as nothing but soulless monsters, he prepares himself for the worst. The weeks crawl by, marked by an endless series of questions he will not answer for fear of endangering his friends and family at The Hive. As his nerves wear down and his interrogators learn just how ruthless he thinks they are, they have nothing to report but his belief that they will kill and destroy his kind without mercy.

Celestia steps in to prove him wrong, and what Pincer learns leaves him questioning everything he has ever known — but also gives him hope for what he'd never thought possible.

Cover art commissioned from http://www.demonkings.com.

Now with a TVTropes page.

There are some situations where being an Element-Bearer can help a pony in her daily life.

Getting a mailing address officially changed isn't one of them.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Twilight's castle may have magically sprouted from the Tree of Harmony, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have to comply with Ponyville's zoning laws.