• Member Since 25th May, 2015

ZheUbermensch


Our cattle will blot out the sun, and we will farm in shade.

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Found 39 stories in 44ms

Total Words: 2,512,273
Estimated Reading: 6 days

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E
Source

A clerical error in the Registry of Mortals sends an unwitting human to a strange land. It wouldn't be so bad, if the ponies there weren't out for his blood.

Literally.

A little twist on the myth that unicorns were hunted for their fantastical powers.

Chapters (8)
T
Source

From one barren wasteland to another, less barren wasteland, an Australian Information Technology worker finds himself stuck in the snow with nowhere to go. Armed with nothing but a cheap tool set and a three metre Ethernet cable, he must find a way to survive his new location. At least it can't get any worse... right?

Oh of course it can, it's a HIE.

Warning: Contains Australian, Changelings (of course), snow, occasional IT speak, less-than-stellar HIE satire, and shoddy humour not fit for a backyard comedy club.

Chapters (12)
T
Source

One Shot - Celestia and the ponies of Equestria are posed to start opening conversion bureas on Earth, however they didn't count on the horror that is government workers with paperwork.

Join a low-level government inspector as he travels across universes to deliver a fine to Princess Celestia.

Will he manage to bring the right forms?
Will he avoid being gored by angry unicorn-pegasi with their sharp, shiny horns?
Will he use his brain and think outside of the box?

Probably not, he is government after all.

Chapters (1)
T

[Canceled]


Oh, Italy...

Mobsters, pasta, pizza, and- blood sucking unicorns. Such a fascinating part of the world.

Chapters (1)
T

A horrible Cataclysm has turned all of Equestria into a Wasteland of barren ash and twilight desolation. The Sun and the Moon have been destroyed. Everypony has died--including Princesses Luna and Celestia. But one pony miraculously survives; she is a lone wanderer, the last of her kind, surrounded by menacing creatures that hate her. She navigates the Wastes in an airship and scavenges off the blighted landscape to keep herself alive.

Then one day she meets an old companion who grants her a gift, the chance to go back in time to the warm and sunny days of Ponyville, where her dead friends live in happiness. How far will the last pony venture into this joyous age of Equestria, even if she fully knows that there is no way to change the horrible fate of everypony she loves?

2013 Edition: Smaller Chapters, Better Grammar, and a Few New Scenes

(A shout-out to Vimbert, pre-reader and gentlecolt)

Chapters (52)
T
Source

The Death Korps of Krieg, seeking atonement from their government's betrayal decades ago, they give their lives willingly in the everlasting fight against the enemies of the Imperium of Man. Averted by even their fellow Guard regiments, they show a high degree of fatalism and an unusual morbidity of habit. Yet they are highly disciplined, morally reliable and self-sufficient soldiers.

The 42nd Siege Regiment had been deployed on Kheltan III to reclaim a supply route that had been attacked by the Eldar. A simple enough task for the stoic men of Krieg. But an ion storm attack and an innocent experiment by an alicorn from another world can make even the easiest of tasks much more difficult.

A Warhammer 40K/MLP:FIM crossover

Chapters (7)
T

Queen Chrysalis has won.

With her magic now far more powerful than even Celestia's, nopony can stop her complete conquest of Equestria.

Well, maybe nopony can stop her, but one man can.

AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!

Reading by CaptainBron3y!

Chapters (1)
E

During Discords reign of chaos over Equestria, he managed to corrupt everypony in Ponyville. Even Twilight Sparkle. But how will he deal with a mysterious stranger that refuses to be corrupted?


(Takes place during the Return of Harmony)
(Based off of the story of the Buddha vs Mara)
(Discord and Buddha are like foils for each other)
Edited by syvvak

Chapters (1)
T
Source

Do little fillies' ghosts still want to play? If so, then angry little fillies' ghosts must play deadly serious games. This is a horror story.

Do not read if you find dangerous toys disturbing.

This story is entered in the What a Fright - Early Autumn Contest in the Nonpareil Fiction Group.

Chapters (1)
E
Source

When Gaberdine is awarded a noble title by Princess Celestia, he soon finds out that his new lands contain several surprises. For starters, there is no land in his new barony. Secondly, his new castle turns out to be a broken-down riverboat. And third is… seaponies.

Baron Gaberdine has a lot to learn about his new barony. And himself.

Fortunately, he has a very young teacher.

Now with a sea-quill (sorry) Drifting Down the Lazy River

Cover photo by PhoenixSwift
Editing/Pre-Reading assistance by Tek, Shaleclaw, Peter, Seether00, Monsieur Connoisseur, GhostOfHeraclitus, The Masked Ferret, Blue Paladin42 and Admiral Biscuit

Note: Unlike The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian, this is a single POV love story, like Changelings, Love and Lollipops. Only with fewer cannons and fountains.
Now Featured on Equestria Daily
With a YouTube Reading of the first chapter by BigAsh
And with a dramatic reading by Neighrator Pony and company Full playlist here.
Thanks for a wonderful review by Paul Asaran
Available in paperback through Lulu.com at cost.

Chapters (8)