Chaos was reigning supreme. Pies were falling form the sky and the Mane Six had been defeated. Discord ruled Equestria.
“Chaos is a beautiful, beautiful thing,” said Discord, standing back to admire his work."
The world had been turned upside down; it was raining chocolate, and all of the ponies in Ponyville had been corrupted. Every. Single. Pony.
“Hm, this is boring.” said Discord. “I wonder who else I can have some fun with?”
And so Discord searched far and wide looking for some pony he hadn’t corrupted yet. And he found one.
But it wasn’t a pony. It was a human.
He paid little attention to the chaos that surrounded him. Neither the chocolate rain nor the rampaging giant bunnies, nor the plaid pattern on the ground. He was ignoring all of the beautiful chaos! Discord would have to fix that.
Discord walked up to the man under the tree and began to eat a pie in reverse. Each bite creating another piece of the pie.
The man did not notice. Discord would have to try harder.
Discord pulled out a glass and a water bottle. He then turned the glass up side down and filled it from the top down, the water from the bottle flowed up into the cup.
The man still did not notice him, or if he did, he showed no sign of being impressed. It was time to bring out the big guns.
Discord pulled down one of the rainclouds made of cotton candy and made it rain lemonade into the cup. He looked at the man under the tree and saw that he was still ignoring him. Even when he started to juggle the glasses he still ignored him.
Finally, he had had enough, and he said to the man, “What’s wrong with you? I’m breaking reality over here and you don’t even seem to care? What, is this normal for you or something? Does it not surprise you in the least?”
The man opened one eye and spoke to Discord, “Reality is continuously changing. Life is like a river flowing on and on, ever-changing. Sometimes it flows slowly and sometimes swiftly. It is smooth and gentle in some places, but later on snags and rocks crop up out of nowhere. As soon as we think we are safe, something unexpected happens. I’m not surprised at the changes you are making. You just have to accept them and move on.”
Discord was taken aback at this complex answer. He didn’t know what the man was talking about, but he found it annoying. He decided he would discord the man. He looked over him carefully, noticing he wore beat up cloths.
Discord turned a stack of rocks into a pile of gold. Of course they were really just rocks but to the man they would appear like a pile of riches.
“Aren’t you tired of being poor? Other people have money to buy nice cloths, but you are stuck in those rags. Why don’t take this gold and buy yourself some nice cloths. Or perhaps a castle or a palace.”
The man eyed the gold and said to Discord,
“People live in a sea of suffering because of ignorance and greed. They are ignorant of the law of karma and are greedy for the wrong kind of pleasures. They do things that are harmful to their bodies and peace of mind, so they cannot be satisfied or enjoy life.”
“Huh? What does that have to do with anything? You get money and you spend it on things that make you happy, right?” Said Discord.
“Will it ever truly be enough to make you happy?”
“But it will make you better than the other guys. They will all be jealous of your wealth and power.”
“Why would I want them to hate me? After all there is no such thing as “self”. We are all one. Therefore, we shouldn’t quarrel with each other.”
This wasn’t working. Discord would have to try something else.
So Discord changed himself into a sexy woman. Womanized Discord walked under the tree and began to hit on the man.
Well hello hot stuff. Why don’t you ditch the meditation stuff and come with me back to my place? I’m sure we can have some "fun".
The Buddha looked up at the womanized Discord. He shook his head and said to her,
“Sorry, I wouldn’t disrespect you like that. Besides I was married a long time ago. Going with you would be disrespectful."
“Oh for goodness sake!” Said Discord turning back into his normal form. This was starting to turn into corrupting Fluttershy again. But then he thought of something, something nopony could resist. No pony in their right mind would so no to.
“How would you like to be Immortal?” Discord asked. The Buddha raised an eyebrow.
“That’s right I could make you immortal right now. All you have to do is come over here and take this stone.” He showed him a rock that he had in his claw. “It will make you Immortal like me for all eternity.” He had him now; no one could refuse this deal.
“Thank you, but no thank you.” Said the Buddha.
“WHAT! How could you refuse!”
“Nothing is meant to last forever. And even if they did they would be miserable everything in this world is meant to pass away. Like a firework in the sky. A one time use.”
Discord was furious. “That tears it! You are too good! It’s time to, be evil.”
Discord touched the top of the man's head with one of his claws in an attempt to corrupt him. A jolt passed through him.
He was standing in a field of flowers, a feeling of complete peace. There was no fear. No suffering at all. Just restfulness.
Discord pulled his hand away from the man.
“That’s impossible! Nopony resists me. Nopony or anyone else for that matter. Not even Fluttershy could!”
“You will never be truly happy Discord, until you can let go of your restless nature. Be still. Connect with others and perhaps one day you can find happiness yourself. Find things that truly matter.”
“I AM happy! I’ll show you! I’ll bring the universe to disharmony and then I will be happy! You’ll see. You were starting to bore me anyway.”
The man said nothing as Discord flew off to find other ponies to corrupt.
The Buddha laughed. Discord was like a little child. Sooner or later, hopefully, he would learn that the more chaos you add to your life, the more suffering there is in your life. Simplifying is the key. The Buddha went back to meditating peacefully under the tree.