On a lazy summer day Pinkie Pie decides to round up her friends for a tea party inside Twilights' library. While the languid atmosphere is soothing for the other ponies its Pinkie Pie who's feeling bored at this gathering. Things get far more interesting when a happy accident dislodges a mysterious board game with cryptic instructions. Seeing an opportunity for fun Pinkie Pie starts up a round with her friends...and sets off a chain of events that forces them to brave the wild untamed madness that is Jumanji.

Many might claim that opening portals into dimensions that don't even technically exist is a waste of good time and energy. Princess Celestia, however, does not.

On a day seemingly designed to produce boredom, Princess Celestia decides the most effective method of alleviating such a pretentious feeling is to involve herself in a rather humorous conflict by successfully acquiring the "enemy intelligence".

She correctly assumes that the beings from whom she stole it from are not pleased. However, she never could have foreseen the incredible lengths they undergo to retain their dignity.

The Slayer has rampaged through Hell before, he has seen many foul beings down there before, but never has he found something like this.

The non-magical creature known as anonymous sits in his chair, waiting—watching the time go by.

His friends want none of that.

Anon stumbles upon a deceased Rarity. He doesn’t know why she’s dead, so he decides to inquire his friends about it. They don’t know either, they also don’t seem to really care in all honesty.

Who done it? Why did they done it? Will Anon find the reason behind his friends cognitive dissonance? Will Rarity get her funeral?

Who knows, honestly.

I do. The answer is no.

Anon feels like bonding with the pony personification of the sun; Princess Celestia. More specifically, he feels like sexually bonding with her.

Princess Luna doesn’t know how to feel about that.

WARNING: Profanity, and I mean a ridiculous amount of profanity. Also sex jokes, because bottom of the barrel humour has been fermenting the longest.

The human known as Anon is sick and tired of the rules of the universe—at least the one he’s found himself in at the moment. So he decides to pick a fight with the pony equivalent of Jesus.

Nothing good ensues.

Anonymous goes and beats up Celestia. What else is there to say?

To escape from Tartarus is nearly impossible, even for one of great magical power. When you've lost your powers and are little more than a withered old centaur, it's even harder. But Tirek has a plan, one that will draw in a creature from a world where life is cheap, hats are plentiful, and gravel is king. Will the Spy take the opportunity to enjoy a well-earned vacation in this new world, or will he see the population of friendly, innocent ponies as just a fresh selection of backs to stab? It could be both!

(Takes place before the beginning of Season 9.)

Anon finds himself having to turn into a filly to start over and attempt at a new life. He ends up being adopted by none other than Trixie as they travel throughout Equestria; slowly coming to terms living together and finding out about each other's dark past.

Original Script/Draft: https://pastebin.com/rvmJj7bs

Note: I plan on rewritting and continuing this story since it hasn't updated in over 4 years.