Discord has a problem. He has a tendency to not think through his actions all that well, poor impulse control, and no ability to figure out how others will feel about what he does. Even with a friend helping him, sooner or later he's going to do something that'll get him stoned or hit with a reforming spell or whatnot. So what's he to do? Ask the smartest pony in Equestria for a solution, of course!

He probably wasn't expecting to get "Have Celestia let you rule Equestria again" for a response.

No one else was probably expecting to enjoy it.

Now with a reading by Crafty Arts!
And a Spanish translation!

OCCASIONALLY, WHEN RELAXING BETWEEN MONSTER TRUCK RALLIES AND ROCKET LAUNCHES, TWILIGHT "SCREW IT" SPARKLE RELAXES WITH A BOOK BY THE WARM FIRELIGHT OF OTHER LESSER BOOKS. LITERALLY, A BOOK, AS ONLY HER OWN AUTOBIOGRAPHY CAN SURVIVE THE SCRUTINY OF A GOD AMONG GODS-WHO-SUBSEQUENTLY-BECOME-MEWLING-WHELPS-BEFORE-HER-EYE-SEARING-GLORY.

THIS IS HER STORY.

AS IF YOU'D READ ANY OTHER.

(DUE TO A SURPRISINGLY APPROPRIATE WORDCLOUD, COVER ART NOW EXISTS. YOU MAY REJOICE.)

It’s never particularly easy being at the top of the food chain, even under normal circumstances, but Eleanor’s circumstances are hardly normal: as one-third of the chimera who prowls the fire geyser swamp south of Ponyville, the tigress must deal with all of the usual stresses that come with being an apex predator, and she has to manage two bickering sisters who simply refuse to shut up and do as they’re told. However, she and her sisters face an unexpected challenge when they come across evidence that a new predator is trying to push into their territory.

(For anyone who's concerned about the gore tag, the violence in this story is of the sort that is typical of a nature documentary. If you can handle the stuff on the Discovery Channel, you shouldn't have too much trouble with this.)

Artwork by Page Turner.

During her parent's funeral, Vinyl Scratch is almost killed by a mysterious unicorn, but is saved by Octavia Melody, or as she is know, Secret Agent 0CT. She soon finds not only are her parents still alive, but they need her help. Now, she must work along side Secret Agent 0CT and the Equestrian Secret Service in order to stop the Three Doctors. Can she stop their plan to eliminate all unicorns, save her parents and still manage to get the girl? Tune in now to find out!

Authors notes: This is going to be silly, don't expect super serious. You have been warned. Cover art edited from mlp comics cover. There will be romance, but it's not the main focus of the story.

Princess Twilight Sparkle has been busy, what with dealing with supposedly reformed draconequui, restoring the ancient castle in the Everfree Forest, and making time helping the Cutie Mark Crusaders learn new skills. So when she finally gets a chance to relax, she decides to engage in her favorite pastime.

Reading!

Which would be a lot easier if Rainbow Dash didn't keep showing up and sitting on her. Or near her. And now she's so busy trying to figure out what her friend is up to, that she's losing out on precious reading time!

Will Twilight ever get to finish her book? Is Rainbow Dash pulling off the most elaborate prank in Ponyville history? Will there be a surprise guest appearance by David Pownie? Regrettably the answer to the last question is no, but find out the in the thrilling story: An Inconvenient Dash!

I saw the image used for the cover art and this story just kinda creeped into my head, and refused to leave. But hey, more Twidash is always a good thing right?

The image for the cover art belongs to Strange Danger, at least according to the watermark and derpibooru tag.

New Patch 1.2
Harmony numbers have been increased 20% across all classes.
Grammar corrections provided by the wonderful Applejack-fan.
Twicon Panic Levels have been fixed to be brought in line with current Defcon numbers.
Bug fixes for the Dragonshy raid have been deployed.
New World Event: Discord's Disco Disaster- Discord is up to his old tricks, turning Ponyville and all its inhabitants into 70's disco versions of themselves. Boogie down with your favorite mare or stallion, compete in special dance themed quests, and earn the special seasonal item -Bell-bottom Bogey Pants +5-!

A sleeping Rarity mysteriously appears in her friends' beds, and nopony knows how or why. Her friends are determined to discover the truth behind Rarity's night-time snuggling spree.

While on a trip to Canterlot to do some research, Twilight happens upon a dust-covered book titled Insane Edicts: A Legal History of Equestria. Sure, the book seem innocuous enough, but when she opens it up she discovers that Celestia is far more eccentric than she'd like to believe.

This story is a sequel to Celestiphobia

It's only been a day since the treaty was passed, and Stan still hates the ground-walkers and fliers and magicians. So his friend, Carl, decides to cheer him up by making him take part in his favorite activity. Getting drunk.

What a horrible mistake that was, since it gave Stan beer goggles for a certain white alicorn, and has him running around causing mischief at every turn.
Carl can only hope he can survive the night.

Now with deleted scenes!

Author's words with some form of intelligence: Now with 100% more editing by Alticron

Pinkie Pie frequently does ridiculous, dangerous, and frankly foalish things. Nopony's quite sure how she gets away with them, but she always seems to emerge with nothing more than a faint craving for cake.

Ponyville's resident sarsaparilla brewer, Sassaflash, knows Pinkie alternately as "a valued customer", and "that crazy pink mare that lives in a bucking gingerbread house", and certainly has no wish to be dragged into her antics, "valued customer" or not. That said, when a pony can hide any given object about their person, who wouldn't be just a tiny bit (fatally) curious?

It should also be noted that there doesn't seem to be any way out of... "There"... from the inside. Somepony should look into installing a door or something.

Cover Art by deviantart's wonderful "SilverVector", I recommend them for all your vectorfull needs!

Poor Sassaflash, she needs more art love; just look at how sad she looks...

The princesses gave their magic to Twilight to prevent Tirek from stealing it. As a result, they end up stuck in Tartarus.

Marvelous place, Tartarus. Really brings ponies together. The fact that things manage to go downhill here says a lot about the wonders of family and alicornhood.

Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI

Audio Drama by Espa_Roba_5 and Ajvasquezbrony28
Live reading by The Living Library
Live reading by Astro-Brony

Proofread by Octavia Harmony