Go home...
“You ever...look up at the sky and wonder...why does it rain?”
Lift looked away from the street. “Um...what?”
Shift cleared his throat. “I-I mean, why? Why does it happen?”
“Um, the windwalkers do that...right?”
“Yeah, but why?” Shift looked up at the rain as they continued walking. “How is it that a cloud get’s all rainy in the first place anyway?”
Lift shrugged and held his hoof out in the rain. “Maybe they’re all like that to begin with.”
“Then how do they come back?” Shift took a tip from his beer bottle. “Do the stickhead’s help them or...what?”
“Beat’s me man, these ponies work in weird ways.”
Shift rubbed his chin. “I know what you mean, I can never understand them, all this magic and money system and eating that weird food, and you know what bugs me the most?...no pun intended.”
Lift snickered and asked, “What? Nice pun by the way.”
Shift stood up “It’s how they get into song so quickly.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, I know our queen did it, but how was it that ponies can automatically know lyrics to a song and sing it in a group. I mean, it takes a while for us to learn songs with lyrics, how come they can do it so fast?”
Lift shrugged again, he was starting to not care about this conversation. “Perhaps they sing a lot and just know them by heart.”
“You know what.” Shift stopped walking and faced his brother. “I’m sure that if me and you went around singin’ something, those ponies would automatically start singing along with us.”
Lift rolled his eyes. “Like they would want to sing with us, we don’t even do that kind of stuff Shift. We just scratch a record and play music while our eyes do the rest.”
Shift thought about this. “Why don’t we test it?”
“Test?”
“Yeah.” Shift leaned on him. “If me and you can memorize a song and sing it out in the open, I’m sure some of these ponies will join in.”
Lift wasn’t too sure about his brothers plan. “Ehh...I dunno, what song do you have in mind?”
Shift adjusted his fedora and smiled. “I’ll think of somethin’.” He continued walking, with Lift following.
“Will it involve the use of explosives?”
“Nope, not a fire show.”
“Microphones.”
“Of course?”
“Hmmm...Rapping?”
“Nah, but it will rhyme though.”
“...What kind of music?”
Shift sighed. “Look, how about I just tell you, it’s...Carl?”
“Carl?” Lift laughed. “That’s a weird kind of music.”
Shift tapped his shoulder and pointed behind him. “Oh…” Lift said. “That Carl.”
Shift and Lift were trying to understand what a changeling like him was doing out in the rain like this, and more importantly, why was he without a Stan. “Ey Carl, where’s your boy toy?” Lift yelled with snickers following soon after.
But Carl didn’t respond, he just continued walking past them and continued going forward. “Um...Carl!?” Lift looked at Shift. “Is the rain really that loud?”
Shift smiled and craned his head toward the lone changelings, telling Lift they should pester him. Lift nodded and before they knew it, they were on both sides of him. “So Carl, mind tellin’ us why Stan left you?”
“...”
They waited for a response, but Carl wouldn’t budge, he continued looking down and walking forward.
“Um...hello? Cave to Carl, you come in?” Shift looked at Lift and shrugged.
Shift shook his head and decided to drop the jerk act. “Look uh...Carl, we're being kinda serious here, why ain’t ya with Stan?”
“He’s at the hospital.” Carl said blankly.
“So you did take him there.” Lift said happily. “He doin’ okay?”
“I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care…”
Shift and Lift stood back a bit once he said that. “Don’t care? Why not? He’s your friend.”
Carl stopped walking and faced them. “I don’t care! Okay, I’m tired, I’m wet, and I don’t want to have any more adventures with that so called hero! Okay?!”
The DJ's backed up and flinched. “Okay...geez, no need to yell.” They said together.
Carl breathed a hefty sigh and turned around and left the DJ’s to themselves. “Stan has been an absolute nuisance since the first time I met him.” He said to himself. Shift and Lift shrugged and decided to abandon him.
“What do you think’s his problem?” Lift asked.
“Probably having regrets for bangin’ that mare.” Shift chuckled and continued walking away.
After minutes of walking, Carl finally came to the front steps of his apartment, the one that he was thankful the landlord was generous enough to let him keep. “I just wanna go to bed, and forget this entire night.” He swung the door open, since it had no handle, and walked into the dark room. Without him realizing, the door shut itself, with a dark blue shadow dashing in.
Carl let the moonlight through the broken window shine in the living room, which was pretty much the entire apartment, nothing but a kitchen and bathroom. He had a bedroom, but he didn’t really care for it that much, he preferred the couch in this room.
Carl rubbed his temples. “I just hope he realizes that princesses don’t put out more then regular mares.” He walked to the side of his couch, which was his only means of sleeping, and flung himself on it, grabbing a blanket and covered himself. “I mean, who would even want to do it with a changeling any…*yawn* anyway.” He closed his eyes, just as another pair of white eyes opened right beside him.
“I would~”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*SMACK*
“Still okay!” Stan yelled as he got his head out of a brick wall. This would be the fifth time he crashed, each one being more painful than the last, but in Stan’s current state, it was hard for him to realize he was in pain.
He flew in the air again and scanned the area. “Hu…no sun...glasses.” He snickered and flew in another direction, this time crashing into stairs.
“Uh...Oh...hello stair step, how are you and your brothers doing?” Stan waited for a response and nodded. “Ish cool, no need to not my heroismalism, because I get all the biyaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” He fell over and tumbled down one step, landing on the pavement head first.
Stan immediately stood up and faced the stairs. “Oh! It’s like that hu? Well screwdriver you, Mr. staircases, and hammer the rest of your family. I can get to misses and mistresses sunny bunny butty with or without your help.” He shook his flank at it and hovered in the air.
“Now let’s shee…” Stan turned upside down and looked at the top of the stairs to the castle. “Where to go…I could go straight in, but a changeling like me has stander’s, I gotta find a pole light, and come up with a plan...wait...Didn’t I do that already.”
Stan flew upright and pondered on how to get to Celestia. “Wait...If I bring her to me...no...If I lure her with...no, that’s the same thing...go to her diversely...hmmm.” Stan started flying to the front doors.
“Maybe if I bring give her a present…yeah...Yeah! That’ll work! What should I get her though?” He turned around once he made it to the doors. “Well, it’s gotta be somethin’ that requires the both of ush...and...it needs to be good for both of us...and...uh, it needs to be very valuable too.” He backed up into the doors and opened them.
“Then maybe I could find a...whoa.” Stan spun around multiple times to get a look at the room. “Yesh, this place is huge. It’s gonna take forever to find her, and even longer to find a present.” Stan’s eyes glanced at another door that read-
“Deere rum...Well, deer isn’t really what I want right now, but I know what rum iz, that was like the…” Stan patted his hoof a couple times. “tenth thing I drank once I won and beat mr light in the faaaaaaaaaaaaceze.” Stan tumbled into the dining room and face planted on a table.
“Gah! What, you’re in on it too misure table, well wee wee to you!” He twirled his fake mustache and turned around.
He then fell into a pair of swinging doors, which then led to sounds of pots, pans, glasses, plates, and other dishes were heard seconds later.
“Uuuuunnnngh...ouchie...that one hurt…” Stan popped out of the pile of dishes that were scattered around the area. He noticed this and frowned. “Aw man, even the dishes have it out for me.” He walked over the dishes and opened a nearby fridge. “Hmmm, I wonder if….hu?”
Stan’s eyes glanced at a bottle, it was bigger than the other ones he drank from, and it was purple too, with a weird brown thing on the tip instead of a bottle cap. “Whoahahahoho, now this is a beer bottle, this is the perfect gift, now I need to-”
“FREEZE!”
Stan’s ear stems went into attention. “Freeze? Hey, Mr. bottle, I don’t need to-”
“Put the bottle down, changeling!”
Stan continued holding the bottle and turned around. “Hey, I have a name...you...Oh, hey...I remember you, didn’t I almost kill yo-”
*CLANG*
*THUD*
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I think you meant "put"
4750064
Remember, he's drunk.
Anything goes when you're drunk!
(Plus it's pretty freaking close phonetically)
And Stan's ever mission to get to his crush dreads on...
Feel bad for Carl, but maybe a pick me up from Luna will change perspectives for him.
Man, Carl cannot catch a break. That lucky bastard.
4750141
I believe it was a cop or whoever that shouted.
4750155 I found what you're typing about and... it has been magically fixed?!
4750155 It was that pone whom stan almost killed
*giggles* This here storie is sooo Fuuunnn!!!!
And after 300 more chapters of Stan stumbling around, he finally finds the alicorn of his dreams.
Unfortunately, she is also drunk and has tranformed into Molestia.
The next 300 chapters chronicle his horrifically sexy fate.
Stan is scarred for life.
4750268 Eeyup
Dream Sex... Aka Wet dreams... With Luna.... Oooohhhh yeeeeeeaaaaahhhh!!!!!!
When the hell is Stan gonna have some good luck instead of Carl?
Holy Shit I feel sorry for Carl.... Everything seems to hate him
Has anyone tried putting Stans story to The Ning Nang Song yet? cos theres plenty of Clang. I blame the mice.
Heh, I'm starting to think that Stan's skull might be a tad thicker then others'. I mean how else is he still conscious after all those blows to the head? He might need some aspirin when this is over... and stay away from blunt objects for a day or two.
Carl... I've said it before, and I'll say it again, you have no one to blame but yourself in regards to what has happened this evening... up to this point, now it's just plain good/bad luck (depending on how you look at it).
As for Luna's current interest in Carl; I just look at it as being that since Luna was "locked away" for a millennia, and Carl is the first guy she has "bunked" with after all those years. So IMO it would explain her looking for "second helpings", if you know what mean.
Lastly, Lift and Shift have a good question in regards to the whole singing thing. Perhaps if they met Pinkie Pie, she might help shed some light on this odd 4th wall question.
4751112
I want to see a human play Sir Mixalot's "I Like Big Butts" and get all the mares hopping around.