(A sequel to Celestiphobia.) Carl wants Stan to partake in the tradition of getting drunk to celebrate the success of the treaty. He then realizes what a horrible mistake that was.
It's only been a day since the treaty was passed, and Stan still hates the ground-walkers and fliers and magicians. So his friend, Carl, decides to cheer him up by making him take part in his favorite activity. Getting drunk.
What a horrible mistake that was, since it gave Stan beer goggles for a certain white alicorn, and has him running around causing mischief at every turn. Carl can only hope he can survive the night.
Now with deleted scenes!
Author's words with some form of intelligence: Now with 100% more editing by Alticron
Stan stopped walking and smacked his friend across the face. “First off Carl, I ain’t that kind of bug, and second, I’m not taking part in whatever customs they do.”
Carl rubbed his face and pouted at his friend. “Stan, it’s not a ‘custom’. It’s a great experience that you should...experience.”
“I’m not ‘experiencing’ anything that a pony does.”
“But it’s fun, I’ve done it plenty of times.”
Stan rolled his eyes and continued walking along the streets of Canterlot. “Well, I’m glad you adjusted to live like them Carl, but me, I want to live my own life without subjecting myself to whatever it is those ponies do.”
Carl wasn’t surprised to hear Stan say that. He knew Stan didn’t really like their kind that much, but ever since the treaty, the other changelings had to adjust to this life or else they would have to leave, but others were having a tougher time than Stan when it came to adjusting. The ponies were the same.
“Alright, fine. I just wanted to show you something that both of us could enjoy. You know,” Carl leaned in on Stan. “as friends.”
Stan pushed him. “I have other friends Carl, the only reason why I’m with you is because the others are at Lift’s and Shift’s party.”
Carl stopped walking. “Wait? Party? Since when? Why wasn’t I invited?”
“Since the treaty...duh, and you weren't invited because it was for cave dwellers only.” Stan was starting to think going to that wasn’t a bad idea, even though Lift and Shift were probably the most annoying-
“Why didn’t you tell me?! Or better yet, bring me with you. Those guys are the coolest changelings around.”
“There not ‘cool’ Carl, the only reason they get so much attention is because of the three D’s, their DJ music, their Dance moves, and their Disorder.”
“Oh no, Stan.” Carl objected. “They are cool, their eyes look so awesome when they play.”
“That's because of their Disorder Carl.” Stan said in anger.
“But it’s so cool when Shift talks all robot-ie and stuff, his eyes get all wavy, and Lift has those bar things that go up and down...speaking of bar Stan, how about we-”
Stan then grabbed Carl and pulled him behind a dumpster in a nearby alley, holding a hoof across his face and peeking around the corner.
“Mhh hhmm mh,” Carl spit his hoof out and looked at him. “bleh..Stan..what the-”
“Shush!” Stan yelled. “You want to be seen?”
Carl rolled his blue eyes and leaned around the corner. “Seen by who h-h-who…oh madre de reina...it’s...Talantilo...”
Carl and Stan stood motionless as a beast they knew all too well slowly walked past them. It’s bright yellow eyes shined in the night, and it’s teeth were as sharp as ever, but what made both of them worried (mostly Carl) was what he was carrying on his back. A pony.
Carl looked at Stan. “We have to save her.”
Stan dropped his jaw. “Are you crazy? What would we do, make him eat one of us while the other saves that pony? Sorry, but I ain’t risking my life to save that mare.”
“But look at her Stan.” Carl grabbed his Stan’s face and turned him to what the monster had on it’s back. It was a yellow mare with pink hair. “She’s one of the elements.”
“So?”
"'SO!?’ Stan, are we just gonna let an important pony get eaten by that thing?”
Stan looked down and shook his head. “Even if we get a hold of her, it’s already too late, the beast probably has the girl in his mesmer-eyes. She would run away from us and become his dinner; sorry Carl, but she’s a goner.”
Carl opened his mouth to try to object, but he knew Stan was right, once you looked into that beast’s eyes, he would put you in a trance that would make you think it would be better to stay with him instead of running away. He looked back at the predator and prey and saw that they were smiling at each other.
“So, where are you taking me again?” The yellow one said in a loving voice.
Discortalantilo chuckled. “You’ll find out soon enough Shy.”
Carl and Stan couldn’t take their eyes off of them. “It’s like forced stockholm's.” Carl said, “creepy...”
Both of them couldn’t stop shaking from the sight of that creature. They waited until it was out of eyesight before they walked out into the open. “L-lets just...go home Carl.”
“Home?” Carl walked out of the ally and pointed down the street. “We’re going to the bar Stan.”
“Bar?” Stan eyed him suspiciously. “How can we get into something made of chocolate, Carl?”
Carl face-hoofed. “Not a chocolate bar Stan, I mean a bar bar, one that sells that alcohol stuff.”
Stan continued to look confused. “What’s alcohol?”
Carl snickered. “You don’t know what alcohol is?”
“What, is that like the name of the bar or something?”
“Pfff, you’re kidding me right now.”
“I don’t know what it is Carl, just tell me.”
Carl wrapped an arm around him and smiled. “How about I teach you the ways of getting wasted.”
“So now you want to kill me?” Stan said sarcastically.
“Not that kind of wasted, I mean drunk.”
“I don’t play basketball Carl, I play football.”
Carl just rolled his eyes. “Just follow me Stan.”
Stan pushed out of his grip and stood his ground. “I already told you I’m not going to...whatever it is you’re taking me to.”
Carl pointed behind him. “Home’s that way Stan, are you sure you want to go that way with the beast on your tail?”
Stan groaned, knowing full well that that beast can spot creatures from miles away, so even if he flew, he wouldn’t stand a chance. “Fine!” Stan yelled. “Let’s go take part in this stupid pony ritual you like so much.” Stan shoved him aside and continued walking forward.
Carl walked by his side. “It’s not a ritual, it’s a….habit, I think that’s the right word.”
“Whatever. Just take...me…to….oh great” Stan was starting to look to his left. Carl did the same.
“Wow...Still…” Both of them walked up to the wall and looked at the row of posters in disgust, most of them were filled with segregation against changelings, while others were talking about the treaty between the changelings and the ponies, which were covered up by posters saying…
“Let the real ones live…”
“Only you can protect espionage.”
“Swat the flies, now that one’s my favorite.”
Stan smacked Carl. “See, Its stuff like this that I hate about them Carl, you try to do good, and others still think of you as some...some…”
“Monster.” Carl rubbed his head. “I’m sure it will die down.”
“Not if we die first.” Stan continued looking at the rows and rows of hate toward their kind, but one poster in particular was getting to him.
“Welp, come on Stan, Beer will not drink itself.” Carl walked away while Stan continued staring at one of the posters. His eyes could stop looking at the beauty on it, how the art of it practically showed every aspect as to what he loved about that wonderful…
“STAN!”
He shook his head and looked away from the pictures to see that Carl was waiting for him.
“J-just a second.” He took one more look, then started walking. “Like you even have a chance with her Stan…”
Stan crossed his hooves and looked at Carl. “You heard him, look’s like we can’t get dunked here.”
Carl glared at Stan. “Its called getting drunk, and you sir cannot deny us a drink!”
“Yes I can.” The unicorn pony leaned his head toward the sign behind his counter. Which in big bold letters it read…
“‘We have the right to deny service to backstabbing, shape shifting, love sucking, blue eyed, white fanged, lying, cheating, downright ugly bugs (Also known as changelings) that enter this establishment under Equestrian law.’” Carl hung his mouth open while Stan looked away from the sign and back at the bartender. “Surprised you didn’t run out of room.”
“It’s the law, you bug.” The bartender leaned in on Stan. “You may be allowed to stay here and have homes, but ponies like us have the right to not serve your kind here.”
Carl looked away from the plaque and leaned up to the pony. “B-but I came here lots of time’s Mike Light, you can’t just-”
Mike Light pushed both changelings away from him. “I should of known somepony like you, no..some monster like you would lie to me for months just to get to know me so you could kill me.” He sneered. “You make me sick you heartless-”
Carl put his hooves on the table and leaned in. “I didn’t try to- ugh…will you just give us one drink Mikey...please.”
Mike Light grabbed Carl by the throat. “Don’t call me that anymore you insect.”
Other pony patrons around the bar were starting to look away from their drinks, or the radio, or their conversations with each other to look at the scene between the two changelings and the bartender. Two of them especially watched in amusement.
“I suggest you let go of him.” Stan said sternly.
Mike turned to him and chuckled. “And just what are you gonna-”
*CRASH*
Everyone in the bar gasped as Mike Light let go of Carl and fell behind the counter. Stan just sat their and dusted his hooves, “Hope that bottle didn’t cost that much...Mikey.” Stan ended in a mocking tone.
A pony behind him tapped him on the shoulder. “I was drinking that you little…” He said drowsily before falling of the stool.
Carl placed his hooves back on the counter and coughed. “Are you alright, Mikey?” With no answer, Carl turned to his friend. “What did you do that for Stan?”
“He was choking you Carl.” Stan said blankly. “And I’m not gonna let some groundwalking magician try to hurt one of us.”
“But you didn’t have to kill him!”
“I ain’t dead…” Stan and Carl looked back at the counter to see Mike get back on his feet, holding a rag on his head that was soaking in blood. “I wish I could say the same for your friend here.” He stumbled over to the counter and stared daggers into Stan. “I’ll give you three seconds to get out.”
Stan smiled and placed his elbow on the table “Or what?”
Carl tapped his friends shoulder. “Uh...Stan. I-I think we should go...”
“One…”
Carl was now tugging on his friend, yet he continued to smile at Mike Light. “Come on Stan, let’s just forget about this and...ya know...go home.”
“Two…”
Ponies in the bar were starting to get up, others continued drinking and tried to contain their shocked faces, while a pair of stallions, both in trench coats and one wearing a fedora, started walking toward the changelings.
“Stan, come on! You didn't want to do this anyway, and Mike is a pony you don't want to get on your bad side, like this one time when I was drunk he-”
Stan looked at Carl and shoved him aside. “Oh please Carl, what's this pony gonna do?” He turned around and faced the flaring end of a horn in his face. Stan then flopped his ear stems and looked past it to see Mike Light charging it with a smile.
Stan wasn’t really sure what a magic blast felt like, he heard from his siblings that it was like getting hit by something that was thrown by magic, which made no sense to him, but in about a few seconds, he was gonna see just what it was like. So, to make sure the magic wouldn’t blind him in the process, he closed his eyes and prepared for the worse.
His ear gave a slight twitch as he heard the magic blast, though he was a bit concerned that he didn’t feel any pain, he was wondering if the blast was so strong that it killed him. With this going through his mind, he decided to open his eyes and probably see his dead body on...the now unconscious bartender behind the counter?
“What?” Stan said out loud, he then felt pain on his back as a pony a bit bigger than him sat next to him and laughed.
“That was awesome!” He yelled while looking over his shoulder. “Did you see the look on his face, Lift?”
Another pony that looked just like the other, minus the fedora, sat on the other side of Stan. “I don’t know, it was pretty hard with the magic commin’ at him.”
Another roar of strange laughter made Stan shield his ears. He looked at both the stallions, both were practically identical to each other. Making him wonder…
“Shift? Lift?” Stan asked.
The stallion on his right rubbed Stan’s head. “Brave and smart, don’t really see many of those around here, huh Lift?”
“Nope, I don’t think-”
Lift was interrupted by Carl’s gasping. “I-It’s the DJ twins!”
Both of the stallions dropped their disguises and gave gave a deadpan face to Carl. “No…” Shift said while adjusting his fedora. “We’re just random changelings with wub-eyetis.”
“Wub what?” Mike stood up from his knock back and started at the pair of changelings. “What kind of disorder is called that?”
Shift and Lift both scratched the back of their heads in unison. Stan just rolled his eyes and faced Mike. “When Shift talks, his eyes get all wavy and stuff, and when Lift talks, bars rise up and down in his eyes. That’s what it does, as for the name...Well, the rest of us couldn’t really think of anything else.”
“Talk about originality.” One of the ponies in the bar whispered sarcastically to one of his friends.
Shift and Lift turned around and said, “You try commin’ up-”
“with a better one ground-walker.” Lift finished his brothers sentence and continued, “Do you even know how hard it is to see with bars goin’ up and down in your line of sight?”
“Or a wave constantly in between your eyes.” They both ignored the crowd and looked back at Mike. “Look Mr. Light, we just want our friends here Stan and...uh...um…”
“Carl.” Carl said with a smile on his face.
“Yeah, yeah, and Stan’s friend here, to have a drink. You let us have one anyway.” He finished with a smirk.
“That’s because you snuck in here, you insect.”
“Hey now,” Shift said while both of them put their hooves in the air in defense. “No need for such discrimination pal, we just wanted-”
“To suck the life out of one of my customers!”
All most every pony in the bar gasped at Mikes false information, making the four changelings turn around and see their shocked faces.
“Hey now!” Shift yelled. “Come on, you heard your princess say how we don’t do things like that, we feed on love which is nothing but energy that comes from all of ya.”
“Yeah.” Lift said. “And like our queen said, we ain’t evil. We never even intended to capture you guys.”
Mike sneered. “But you did intend to live among us in complete secrecy.”
Stan slammed the counter. “But we weren’t gonna hurt your kind!”
“Who’s to say that’s not true? Besides, the way you get love is probably the sickest thing I’ve ever heard of.”
Carl walked next to Stan and said, “Mike, the cool DJ’s already told you that we get love by finding someling we can have a relationship with.”
“What? Last time I remember, your queen had to brainwashed one of us to get love.”
Stan twitched. “Our queen had no choice, I’m sure your princess needs to make tough decisions too!”
“Well at least our ruler doesn’t need to sleep with other colts to rule over her so called ‘subjects’”
Carl immediately held Stan back once he tried to launch across the counter toward the pony. “Let me go Carl! Let me rip this guy apart for even thinking about disrespecting our queen!”
“Feisty too” Shift whispered to his twin. Lift grinned and grabbed Stan.
“Listen here little guy, if you really want to show this guy how much you hate him, then try beating him at his own games.”
Stan calmed down a bit and shacked the both their grips off of him. “What ‘games’?”
Carl leaned over his shoulder. “I think he’s talking about drinking games, one’s that require alcohol to play.”
Shift came over “Whoa now bro, before you even begin, how about you get a taste for things? Mike! Give our little hero here a drink.”
Mike crossed his hooves. “The plaque…”
The Shift and Lift booth looked at it and shrugged. “Okay…” Shift scratched his head. “how about this, if Stan here can chug an entire glass, then we get to play the games.”
Stan glared at Carl. “What, so I’m a train now…”
“No Stan, chug. Chug as in drinking an entire glass of cider without stopping.”
“Then why didn’t he just say drink instead of chug? That’s confusing!”
Mike slammed a full mug of cider on the table and grinned. “I bet the bug can’t even handle a drink like this without puking.”
Stan snapped, he had been puking all the way along this journey to get here, and he wasn’t gonna be reminded of it. He grabbed the mug and said, “Oh yeah, well watch this sorcerer.” He pressed his lips against the tip of the mug and tilted it, drinking the cider as his mind was bent on showing the pony he’s not getting talked down by him.
Some of the ponies in the bar started standing and looking at Stan in astonishment. “Look at him go.” One of them whispered.
Carl grabbed him by the arm. “Stan, take a breath.” But Stan continued drinking the beverage until it was empty. The entire crowd gasped as he slammed the now empty mug on the counter. Mike was surprised at first, until he saw Stan start to shake.
“Bleah...ugh...hehe...heahsh.” Stan was starting to wobble a bit before clutching his stomach.
Shift and Lift looked at each other while Carl tried holding his friend up. “Stan? Tell me you’re okay...please. H-how many hooves am I holding up?”
Stan was now groaning as he started sliding off the counter. Mike only grinned at the twins as Stan landed on the floor. “Looks like the little guy can’t handle a-”
A loud belch from Stan interrupted Mike. The crowd continued to look at Stan in astonishment as he got back up and threw his hooves in the air. “WHOO...Now that...Was one *hick* of a drink,” He shook his head and walked past Carl, whose jaw continued to hang open.
“H-how in Tia’s mane…” Mike couldn’t think of anything to say as the changeling looked at him with a smirk.
Stan had never tasted anything like this, it was one of the most amazing experience he ever had, and the crowd of ponies in the background cheering him to finish the two bottles of beer at the same time only boosted his ego.
*SMASH*
“YYEEEAAAHHH!” Stan yelled at the top of his lungs as he smashed the now empty bottles on the floor. The whole crowed cheered as he landing on his stool.
Carl just stared in amazement while the DJ’s chuckled. “Okay Stan.” Shift said. “I think you’re ready-”
"To play." Lift finished.
“No he ain’t” Mike said. “Him, and the rest of you are leaving.”
The crowd died down their cheering and Stan spun in his chair. “Oh, come on Mikey, just a couple *hick* more drinks.”
“No!” Carl spun Stan around so he could face him. “Stan, listen, you don’t have to take part in this.”
“Oh, you’re just bein’ a downer Carl.” Stan looked away from him and back at Mike. “Now lets play dem games Mike.” Stan belched again and snickered at him.
Mike glared at him, this changeling had too many drinks for him to handle, and he was making this place look like it it accepted changelings. I am not gonna turn this bar into that stupid cafe. He thought.
No, he knew just how he would make it so no changeling would ever come in here again. “Under one condition.” Mike said with a sly smile.
“What? You want me to do it upside down?” Stan asked.
“No. We do it under a bet.”
“A butt? Why under a butt?” Stan asked with a grin.
Mike heard snickers. “No, a bet.”
“A boat?” It was getting harder for Stan to hold in his laughter. “I don’t think we ha- *hick* have a coat.” Stan laughed and fell of his stool. Making others in the bar start laughing as well
“No! We do it under-”
“A loaf with toast.” Stan laughed and spun around a bit before getting on his stance.
Mike growled and grabbed the changeling. “NO! I bet that I can beat you in three drunk games.”
Gasps were heard in the crowd of ponies, Stan just rolled his eyes while Shift and Lift came in between them. “Okay,” Shift said. “What happens-”
“If we win?” Lift finished.
Mike let go of Stan, making him tumble into Carl. “The bet is that if I win, you and your kind will actually read that plaque and obey it, and if you win, your drinks for the night are free.”
Shift and Lift looked at each other, then a wicked smile came across their faces, followed by a fit of laughter. “How about this bartender, if we win-”
“Me and Shift here” Lift said. “play some better music than this stuff playing on the radio."
“And if you win-”
“Our boys here will work for ya.”
“What!?” Carl dropped Stan and ran towards them. “N-now let’s not be hasty guys, I’m sure the whole ‘obey the plaque rule’ is a very nice-”
“Hmmm.” Mike rubbed his chin and smiled. “Sounds fair, alright.” He extended his hoof in front of Carl’s face, which was then grabbed by Shift and Lift.
Carl’s jaw dropped. “B-but, but, but.”
Stan ran to the side of Carl and yelled, “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. LETS DO ET! I can take on anything that pony is laying down on the table, cause when it’s on the table, it’s easier to take than if it was glued on there, cause if it was glued on there then it would be harder, like my-”
Carl shoved a hoof in his mouth and looked around nervously. “Uh, can you give us a sec.” He dragged Stan away from the group and looked at him in worry. After that first drink, Stan had way more than he ever saw anyone have, granted, Carl and only been at the bar a few times, but when you drink about thirty-five mugs and twenty bottles, Carl knew you would be hammered by now. “Stan, listen, you are way too drunk to handle these things, if you even attempt to do them, you’ll just fall flat on your face.”
“Nah man.” Stan said with a slur. “I can tots mick scrots handle these things under...under any condition that I have ever had on me,” He turned around and faced the group of ponies. “Because I’m a hero!” He stumbled back to where he was before and wrapped an arm around Mike. “So, what's this play of do that you want me to game?”
“I don’t understand. Why would you want to pong beer? And how do you pong anyway?”
Carl lifted a paddle in front of Stan. “You just hit the ball with this, and aim for the mugs on the other side of the table.” He lightly patted Stan’s head with it. “It’s not that hard.”
Stan snatched the paddle out of his magical grip with his own and growled. “Sayin’ it is probably easier than doing it!” Stan was starting to wobble the paddle with his magic, he was trying to hold it still, but it was hard to keep track of what ones he was holding. “and this game is racist anyway.”
Mike shook his head. He hated how this was happening, not just because this changeling knew how to handle his beer, but how he had absolutely no knowledge of pony culture “How is it racist?” He asked.
“Well, for one thing, those with magic can totally win, they can even control the ball if they wanted,”
Carl looked at some of the patricians in the bar who were raising an eyebrow at Stan, most of them being unicorns. “Uh...Stan,” he whispered. “I don’t think you understand how these ponies-”
“And why haven’t you guys fought each other yet?” Stan looked at the unicorns in the room. “You guys can totally rule over the others. You have magic for-”
Carl wrapped an arm around him and whispered. “Stan, they have, and they made peace, we should be doing the same instead of causing another one.”
Stan pushed him off in disgust. “And how do you know they had a war between each other?”
“I read books.” Carl said with a smile.
“Ah hu…” Stan said. “books are just for the nerds of the place of time, so how about you take your libs and berries and go eat them at a pond.” Stan looked forward while Carl tried to understand that thought.
Carl just ignored him and looked back at Mike on the other side of the ping pong table. “Ready?”
“Only if the hero is ready.” Mike said, smiling at Stan.
Stan just shook his head and held the paddle in front of his face. “You sure about this, you can quit now Mr. Pony who’s gonna lose.”
Mike smiled. “Yes, I am sure.”
Carl started fidgeting. “B-but you’re not drunk Mikey, you can’t play unless you-”
Mike pointed his paddle at him. “The bet was to either win or lose, not who was drunk or not.”
“Well I totally beat you in that apartment.” Stan said, still trying to get a grip on the paddle. “Ey Carl, and you lend me another one, mine won’t stay still.”
Carl face-hoofed and took hold of the paddle. “Listen Stan, you need to win this, because I do not want to wash counters for a living. You do know how to play right?”
“Of course I do.” Stan rubbed his friends head and smiled. “I just need to hit this ball into my mug.”
“No Stan, his mug. On the other side of the table.”
Stan frowned. “But I don’t get a drink if I do that.”
“That's the point!” Carl yelled. “You make him-”
Shift grabbed Carl and pulled him away. “Come on now Carl I’m sure-”
“That friend of yours can totally win.” Lift finished while sitting on the opposite side of Carl.
Carl could only look at Stan, he could barely stand upright and his eyes were on the verge of closing, and his paddle wouldn’t stop shaking. Carl pulled his ears down and in frustration. “Just hit the ball Stan!”
Stan waved a paddle in front of his friend. “Don’t worry Carl, cause I know what I’ll do.” He took the ball and threw it in the air. “I’m gonna drunk till I’m drink!” He slammed the ball into a nearby glass that wasn’t on the table, shattering it into pieces.
The room went silent, Carl dropped his jaw, Shift adjusted his hat so see if he saw that right, and Mike just snickered. “Looks like that’s one to nothing.” Mike said. “My serve.”
“And the winner is...ugh...Mike, with a hundred and fifty to 3.”
“WOOOOO!” Stan, who had a sombrero on with sunglasses and a crate of beer tucked under his arm, stood on the table and raised a bottle in the air. “WOOOO, wooo...” Stan looked around the room, expecting others to cheer with him, but the whole room was silent, and the only one who wasn’t giving him a look of concern was Mike. “What?”
“Nice to see someone cheer for me.” Mike said.
Stan tossed the crate at Carl, who somehow caught it without any bottles dropping, and took his glasses off to reveal his drunk eyes. “I ain’t celebration’ on you Mr. Knight of the light, I’m cheerin’ for the real wiener of this game.” He snickered a bit and took a sip from his bottle of beer. “Hehe, wiener.”
Carl put the crate down and pulled him off the table. “Stan, I said that Mike won, you only scored three points.”
Stan put his glasses back on and chugged the rest of his drink before tossing it behind him, crashing other bottles in the process. “Now now Carl, we both know that I chugged the most *hick* drinks in this game.”
Shift and Lift shook their head. “That means you lost.” They said in unison.
Stan frowned. “But I-”
“Stan.” Carl said sternly. “First off, where did you get that hat and that pair of glasses? And second, what made you think that you had to get less points than him?!”
Stan tossed his hat and glasses at Lift, who decided to wear them, and crossed his arms. “Well one, I don’t know where I got them, and three, I thought this was tennis. Where you score less by getting the ball in the holes.” He snickered again, but he abruptly stopped once Carl smacked him.
“Stan, that’s golf.” Carl then realized he just hit him across the face; he looked down at his hoof in shock. Usually it was vice versa. He looked down at his hoof in shock. “D-did I just-”
“Same thing.” Stan waved his hoof in the air, not caring that his friend just struck him, and turned toward Mike. “So, what’s this next game that you have for me Mikey?”
Carl looked back at Stan and groaned. “Stan, maybe we should take a break”.
“Carl, we can’t just eat cake now, because the cake is a pie. Now Mr. Mikey Wikey, what is this next game?”
Mike was doing his best to control his anger at this bug, because he knew that once this was all over, he would be getting some very helpful hooves at this place. “The next game’s easy, you just need to throw things.”
“WOOOOOO!” Stan grabbed a bottle from the crate and threw it out the door. A screeching cat was heard in the distance. Stan put his hooves on his hips and held his head high. “Did I win?”
Carl facehoofed, Shift and Lift snickered, the ponies in the bar continued to look at him in silence, and Mike just smirked.
Mike ran up to Stan and yelled, “DARTS! I know you’re doin’ this just to tick me off.”
Stan just smiled. “I don’t like ticks either, they suck mud, and mud is toast.” Stan leaned on Carl after saying that and belched again. “I’m hungry. Carl, can you get me a deer to drink…”
Carl pushed him off and put a dart in his hoof. “Look Stan, this game is simple, just stand on this white line and throw this at the board over there.” Stan squinted his eyes at Carl’s hoof, then slowly looked at where it was pointing.
“Hu...What a weird cir*hick*cle.” Stan took the dart and and studied it carefully. “Why is it all pointy?”
Carl groaned. “So it can stick to the board.”
“Why don’t they just use glue?”
“Because that would make it harder to take out of the dartboard.”
Stan scratched his head with the dart and stepped on the line. “Dartboard? Why throw arrows at a board filled with food?”
Mike ground his teeth. “It’s a DARTBOARD! Not a tartboard!” He was getting sick and tired of Stan constantly pretending to not hear what everyone was saying, it was getting very annoying for him.
Stan’s ear stems lit up. “Tarts? Where?” He snickered and looked around rapidly, making others in the bar start to laugh, especially Shift and Lift.
Carl grabbed Stan and made him face the board. “Just throw it at the circle!” Carl yelled.
Stan squinted his eyes at the dartboard. “Which circle? There's like, five circling around the circle with circles inside the...circles. Its like...circleperspectingception…” Stan’s eyes were starting to close.
Mike finally lost his patience and yelled, “Just throw the dart!”
“Throw what?” Stan said drowsily as he threw the dart at the board and fell to the floor.
“Finally!” Mike yelled. “Now will you...let...me…” Everyone looked at the board in amazement. Lift lifted his glasses to make sure he was seeing it right. “How in Celestia’s mane?”
Stan grabbed Carl’s legs and slowly climbed up to his head to get his footing. “Am..am I a hot dog now?” Stan wobbled a bit and looked at the board to see that there were till five of them waving around each other, with a dart in the middle of it all. “Man...what’s with me getting holes in one with this, that doesn’t give me that many points”
“Stan…” Carl said. “Y-you got a bullseye.”
Stan tilted his head at his friend while he picked up two more darts from a nearby table. “I hit a bull in it’s eye...Ouch…” He turned around again, throwing the dart at the board. “Hey bull, are you alright?” He made another bullseye and grimaced. “Sorry I took out your other eye bull, though you were a circle with tarts.” He looked at Mike and frowned. “I’m just gonna get a deer while you win this one coach.” Stan walked past him and sat next to Shift, leaning on him and smiling. “So, do you come here often?”
Mike gulped and stepped up to the white line. “Come on now Mike, it’s been a while, but I’m sure you can-”
The whole bar cheered as Shift and Lift raised a sleepy Stan into the air. Mike’s jaw was hung wide open, as was Carl’s.
Stan snorted a bit and looked around. “HU? What? D-did I won?”
Carl pushed Mike out of the way and flew up to his brothers. “Yes! You did, now we can get out of here and-”
“WAIT!” Mike walked up to them and squinted his eyes. Stan squinted back, but in a sleepy way. “It’s tied, so we still have one more game to play.”
Stan pulled his arms off of his older brother’s grip and stumbled over to Mike, falling right in front of him. “What is the next game, wait, wait...don’t tell me, let me buy a vowel first, does it rhyme with ducks, is it a type of cheese, will it be fun?”
Mike grabbed Stan and threw him over to a bar stool. “We’re gonna see just how strong your liver is at the end of it.” Mike smiled and walked behind the counter. Everyone started crowding around the two of them.
“Ten bit’s says the bugs gonna puke.” A pony in the bar whispered to Carl.
“Yeah sure, I’ll take you on that bet.” Carl smiled, knowing full well that Stan could still handle his beer.
Stan then puked behind the counter. Cries of disgust and some cheering filled the bar. Carl just sighed and handed his change to the pony.
“That was a technical foul!” Stan yelled as he grabbed an empty mug. “This time I will go on the train to victory and ride it suceshful town!” He tipped the mug to his lips before realizing it wasn’t filled with beer. He turned it upside down and put it on the table in sadness.
“Great,” Carl said to himself. “Now he’s slurring.”
“Ten bits says he’ll slur again.” The same pony said to him.
Carl glared at him and looked at Mike “So Mike, what’s the next-” He gasped once he saw Mike get a pair of tubes and funnels out from under the table. “Oh no…”
Stan giggled. “Do we get to shove these up our-”
Mike shoved the tube in Stan’s mouth and yelled, “I have had it with you changeling! Not only will you lose, but you’re gonna be cleaning up your mess afterwards. So, are you ready to drink till you throw up!” Stan muffled through the tube in response. “Right then, let the games...Begin."
Mike tossed a cylindrical metal container at Stan, making him fall of his chair from the force of his throw. He stood back up like nothing happened and asked, “What is it?” He held it and turned it around multiple times.
“It’s a bucket.” Mike said with a smile.
“Dear Chrysie…” Stan looked at it in horror.
“There’s more.”
“No…” Stan hugged the bucket and stared intently at Mike.
Mike rolled his eyes and continued. “You’ll be needing it once we’re done with this.”
“Why?” Stan gasped and wagged his tail. “Do I get to wear it afterwards!” Before others could object, Stan place the bucket on his head and smiled. “Now I can act like a soldier.”
Carl pushed Stan back on the stool and smacked the bucket off his head. “Look Stan, will you just get this over with, it’s really weird for me to hit you. Usually it’s you who does it.”
Stan spun around and faced the bar table. “Probably because you were...swichin’ our brains, and I lost your’s somewhere...so now It’s just me and this bucket!” Stan picked up the bucket and hugged it like a hatchling hugging a queen. “I shall call you Mr. Bread.”
Mike slammed a mug full of alcohol on the table, making Stan jump and toss the bucket onto his head again. “No more games changeling…” Mike said dramatically.
“But aren't we playing a game right now?” Stan adjusted his bucket so he could see that Mike had a look of death on his face.
“Make one more smartflank remark…” Mike grabbed Stan by his neck and looked him straight in the eyes. “I dare you.”
“Okay. Your face is-”
Shift and Lift shoved a tube down his throat and held the other end with the funnel in the air. “How about we just-”
“Get things moving Mike.”
Mike grumbled and climbed over the table. He grabbed the tube and sat next to Stan. “Ready insect?”
“Good sir, I was raised ready.” Stan then grabbed the bucket and puked.
“BLEH…..Can’t you give me sumthin’ wif a lietal beet, one that I’s can tap mah stuff wiff…” Stan said as he started wobbling on his stool, as for Mike, he was beginning to remember why he just sold alcohol and not drink it.
“Can’t ya just *hick* give up changlang.” Mike said as he continued to hang on to the tube, by letting it go, it meant he would lose.
Stan looked back up at him and continued holding his own tube. “I’d rather fly a truck then drive a truck Mike, cause that’d give me double D’s.” He snickered and put the tube in his mouth again and raised his hoof in the air. “Mhhhmmhmhm.”
Shift and Lift just shrugged and poured more bottles down both of the funnels while the ponies in the bar chanted. All the while, Carl was holding his heart, unable to keep a steady breath. He knew that if his friend lost now, he’d be working in a dank and dirty bar. He would rather drink in it then work in it. As Stan finished chugging, Carl ran up to him and looked at him in his drunk eyes. They were starting to turn an even darker blue, almost black. “Stan...How many hooves am I-”
“Twenty dollas is what ur holding man, can I have some to eat on the way home?” Stan smiled and hugged Carl with one of his arms. “Ey Carl, did I ever tell you how your eyes look like mine…”
“Stan, your eyes are starting to turn dark, so there nothing like mine...”
“It was just a compliment, after all, Celly, you need to take the hint that I’m tryin’ to hit on you, so be sure to duck before I make a move.”
Carl started walking back. “Stan...are you trying to-”
“CARL!” Stan yelled as he tightened his grip on the tube. “Can’t you take a hint! Come here…” Stan pulled Carl’s ear and whispered. “Stan’s like me explore our smexequality at old ages. How you doin?”
Carl grimaced and started turning away, then he saw how Mike was starting to tilt off his chair as he watched the two.
“What are you two doing?” Mike asked as Carl started seeing him lose his grip on the tube.
Then an idea came to his mind, he knew he would regret it, but doing so would get him out of this. He turned back at Stan and put on a fake smile. “So uh...Stan, how are uh….you...doing…”
Stan smiled and leaned back, kicking Carl and laughing. “I duno man, why are you asking me this stuff, you likey likey what your eyezies see?”
Carl heard a bottle crash in the distance. He rubbed his nose and looked back at Mike. His jaw hung open and his grip was getting looser.
Shift and Lift were doing their best to hold in their snickers as Stan stared intently at Carl.
“Carl, we both know that we can change into stuff, so how about you turn white while I change into clothes so you can wear me like one of your fresh mares.”
“Uh…” The gears in Carl’s mind were starting to skip a couple turns with Stan saying all of this. “How about you just-”
“Oh just shut up and kiss me!” Stan closed his eyes and leaned into Carl’s face, where he then fell to the floor, landing on Carl.
The entire bar gasped, except for Mike who threw the tube on the ground and laughed. “HA! You let go first bug, that means that I am a winner!”
“Actually Mikey.” Shift said. “You may want to-”
“Take a second look.” Lift finished and pointed at the two changelings on the ground.
“Get off of me Stan!” Carl shoved his friend off of him, revealing that Stan was still holding the tube in one of the holes in his hoof.
“But Caaaaaaaaarl!” Stan said with a sad tone of voice. “I trying to be sheshual!” Stan then fell on a pony, who had ran up to him to held his hoof in the air.
“We have our winner everyling!” He yelled, making the crowd cheer with glee.
Mike got up and held his head in pain. “What do you mean every….ling…….no…” He opened his eyes to see that every pony in the room started getting engulfed in green flames, turning them all into-
“Siblings!?” Carl yelled. “You mean you guys were-”
Shift and Lift got off the bar table and walked into the crowd of now changified ponies. “They were bugs all along Mikey.” Shift said.
“Like we said, you really need to get better ID.” Lift clopped his hooves, as did the others. “Can we get a big hoof to our friend Stan here for letting us bring the party here?”
“You what?!” Both Carl and Mike said.
“WOOOOOOOOOOO. PARTAAAAY!” Stan wore his sombrero, which had a bucket on it, and glasses again. “Carl, let us dance to party time!”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Carl shoved Stan out of the way and looked at the DJs. “You guys wanted to bring the party...here?”
“Yep.” They said in unison.
“And they wanted Stan to win because he was a changeling too.”
“Yep.” The others said.
“So...where’s the-”
“Where’s the song table thingy.” Stan said as he leaned on Carl again. “We can’t have parties without moosic.”
“The hero's right Mikey.” Shift said to a still shocked Mike. “How about we-”
“Get this party…STARTED!” Lift lifted a turntable and shoved the empty bottles to the floor. He then slammed it on the bar table, turned it on, and put on headphones. He flipped the switch and a song that Carl would normally like, but now hated for some reason came on, though Stan seemed to clop his hooves to it.
“Yay…” Stan said silently to Carl. “Moooooooosic.” He laughed and rested on his friend.
Carl groaned. “Come on Stan, lets go home.” Carl hoisted his friend’s arm over his neck and carried him out the door, leaving the changelings to their music, and Mike with his sorrow.
“Forty nine bottles of beer on the wall, eighty five bottle of glass, you take them down and throw em’ around...No more glasses of *BELCH* in the stalls!” Stan did a little jig before falling into a trash can.
Carl just watched as his friend continued to walk about drunk off his flank, they were just blocks away from the bar and Stan was still walking about with a head full of booze. “Listen, Stan-”
“That’s mister Stan doctor professor to you, good sir…” Stan said as he got out and spun around multiple times.
Carl grabbed him and had Stan face him. “STAN! Stop acting like this, you could really hurt your...Will you look at me!” Carl shook him again, but Stan wouldn’t stop looking at the wall. “STAN! Will you-”
Stan put a hoof in his friends mouth and said. “SSHHHhshhhshshshhshsshhhh. I got this.” He went into a combat stance and shook his hindquarters like a cat before pouncing at the wall.
Carl could hear the wall crack once Stan rammed his head into it, knocking off all the posters and having them pile on top of him. “Now look what you did!” Carl groaned and started picking up the papers while Stan popped his head out of the pile with a poster covering his eyes.
Stan whistled. “Carl, would you look at this hot piece of flank.”
“Hot piece of what?” Carl stacked the papers and set them down. “What poster are you looking at...wait.” Stan was having a rough idea at what he was looking at. “Stan, are you looking at por-”
Stan then jumped from the pile of papers and ran up to Carl. “Look at her!” Stan took off the paper and showed it to him. “Isn’t she just so on fire?”
Carl gasped and snatched the paper out of his hooves. “You mean hot, and Stan, do you know what this is!?” Carl held the poster in front of him.
Stan squinted intently at this poster before smiling. “Of course I know what it is...it’s a picture of that one pony that does the lifting and stuffs.”
Carl face hoofed and placed the poster with the others. “Stan, that’s a poster that one of our brothers drew for how they feel about our surrender.”
Stan grabbed the poster again and looked at it in awe. “So they want us to obey her, well who wouldn’t with eyes like that?” Stan held the picture between them and smiled. “They look exactly not like ours.” He smiled dopely at it while Carl stared at the scene with a dropped jaw.
“Stan, you are acting really weird right now…why don’t we just-”
“Find out where this sexy minx is and do her?”
Carl fell back, completely flabbergasted as to what his friend just said. “W-what did you just say?!”
“I said…” Stan then extended his wings and hovered in the air. “Let’s go find where out that white winged pony is and see what her horn and her wings...and her hooves…and maybe her tail...can do for me...and you.” Stan then started flying in the air in whatever direction the wind was deciding to take him.
Carl’s eyes went wide as he saw his friend begin to fly. “Stan, wait! You can’t fly when you’re drunk.” Carl flew after him.
“Oh come on Carly,” Stan said as he barreled through buildings. “you and I both know Stan drunks better when he FLIIIIIIEEEEYS!” Then he took off, so fast, that Carl couldn’t even see the black changeling in the dead of night.
“Stan!....STAN!” Carl circled around buildings and alleys, each one had no Stan. “Stan! It’s illegal to fly while under the influence, and I so don’t want to be responsible when you get a FUI….STAN!” Carl’s wings were starting to give out with the constant flapping. He lazily hung his tongue out and decided to take a break.
“Oh for queen’s sake Stan, why did I even think this was a good idea, we should've just gone home like you said.” Carl sighed and sat in a tree, which was weird since he was still in the city...wait.
Carl looked around to see that he was in a garden now. “This town has a garden?” He looked around to see nothing but flowers, statues, a goat monster, hedges, branches. Everything looked beautiful...
Carl immediately fell of the branch and into a bush, feeling the thorns starting to dig into him, he almost cried in pain, but something he heard stopped him from even breathing.
“You hear something?”
“Just your tasty beautifully voice Shy…”
Carl then heard giggles, but not just any kind of giggles, the ones that hypnotized ponies do when Talantilo controls them. “Oh diosa reina...It’s him…” Carl wiggled around until he could look through the bushes to see the creature in plain view, with the yellow pegasus currently resting on it’s back. Carl could only watch as the two of them look at the moon. “Probably part of the feeding ritual.” Carl whispered.
“Can’t you hear that Dissy?” Carl clamped his mouth shut and prayed to Chrysie that they wouldn’t find them.
“I’m telling you Fluttershy, all I hear is a delicious pony resting on me.”
He nearly gagged as the pony laughed again. “You’re so corny Discord.”
Carl could see the large tooth protruding out of its mouth as it smiled at its meal. “That’s not a bad thing, is it?”
Carl saw the pony make its way to his face. “Oh no…” He thought, was this the part where she would really just enter his mouth and let him swallow her hole?
“Of course it’s not master I find it a little...hot.”
Carl's ear stems went up, hoping he didn’t hear that right. “He’s not really gonna…”
“Really? And why is that?” He saw the monster’s mouth start to water.
“Not sure why I find it cute.” The yellow pony said as she stood on the side of his long, slender body. “Maybe it’s the way you talk...it’s so hypnotic.”
“But not as beautiful as you my meal.”
Carl’s heart wanted to leap out of the bushes and help the pony, but his mind was telling him that would be the stupidest idea ever and to just continue hiding, because if he ran, the monster would just catch him. Maybe he could stomach through one feeding, yeah...then he can forget about this whole experience.
Then he saw the monster wrap it’s tail around the poor pony and hoist her over his head. Carl closed his eyes and plugged his ears in hope that he wouldn’t witness a death.
He heard giggles again. “That tickles master.”
Carl opened his eyes and saw the monster get on his back, resting his razor sharp claws on the back of his head. “I just need to get a better view of my dinner.” The beast then laughed and placed the pony on his stomach.
Carl gagged a bit and turned away. “This can’t get any worse.” He thought.
*SLAM*
“Ow...what the- What are you doing here changeling?” Carl heard the beast yell.
“A changeling?” A shy voice called out.
Carl’s curiosity made him look out of the bush to see what that sound was, he then saw something that was even worse than witnessing a death. Witnessing two deaths.
“Why hello deep and dark fear of mine, *hick* how you doin’?...How’s your pony snack? She in your belly yet?”
Stan flew through the air without a care in Equestria. His wings took him to places he never knew, which was everywhere. He flew all around Canterlot, not paying attention to anything ecept-
“WHOA *Hick*...Look at that size of that white orb.” Stan took a sip from his bottle of booze, that he had found in a trash can a little while ago, and stared intently at the moon. “It’s so...white...just like that one horse…”
He snickered and pulled out the poster of her he had taken from Carl. “Hehe, oh, she’ll be even MORE white when I’m done… and when she’s done, and when I finished...off that drink she would give me… and I’d be like…’hey girl, don’t be down. Ya just gotta get up and fly with the air in the wind’ yeah...that’s what I would say…” He then immediately stopped flying and started falling down.
“So, is there a reason why you brought me out here?”
Discord laughed a bit. “Oh, just to...show you around.”
Fluttershy giggled. She knew that he had no idea what he was doing, and neither did she, but a date is probably pretty awkward the first time, so to her, it was fine.
“Around the garden?” Fluttershy let go of his neck and pointed ahead.
“Y-yeah.” Discord nodded. “To the gardens, that’s exactly why I brought you here. Yup, I totally know what I’m doing.”
Fluttershy shook her head and smiled. “So what now?”
Discord looked around and shrugged. “We can just...lay down.” He awkwardly laid his body down on the grass, leaving Fluttershy to fly in he air.
“Um...Do you mind if I?” Fluttershy blushed and pointed at his back.
Discord blushed back. He knew she asked to just ‘lay down’ on him, but to him...it was making his mind go in the gutter.
“I-I just wanna lay down is all. Wings get tired too you know.” Fluttershy rubbed her arm and looked down “This is so awkward.” She thought.
Discord decided that now would be a good time to just get this over with and start. “Sure, just..uh, pick a spot and sit.” Fluttershy smiled and glided down to his back. She carefully placed her hooves on his body and laid down. Discord adjusted himself so they could see one another without him craning his neck so much. “Comfy?”
“Y-yeah...um...so want do-” Her ear twitched, making her stand in attention. “Did you hear something?”
Discord took a direct approach and caressed her hair. “Just your beautiful voice Shy”
Fluttershy giggled. She was starting to get more comfortable with all of this. Even though it was a bit weird with him being bigger and all.
Her ear twitched again. “Can’t you hear that Dissy?”
Discord chuckled. “Dissy...how cute.” He thought. “I’m telling you Fluttershy, all I hear is a cute little pony resting on me.”
Fluttershy laughed. “You’re so corny Discord.”
Discord started to get worried. Did he come on too strong? “That’s not a bad thing...Right?” He looked up at her with innocent eyes.
Fluttershy waved her hoof in the air. “Of course it’s not Dissy, I find it a little adorable.”
Discord raised an eye. “Really? And why is that?”
Fluttershy tapped her chin and stood up. “Not sure why I find it cute, maybe it’s the way you talk. It’s so...so...lovely.”
“But not as Lovely as you my dear.” Discord started adjusting himself again. He wrapped his tail around Fluttershy and raised her in the air while he laid on his back.
Fluttershy yelped. “T-that tickled Dissy.” She laughed a bit as Discord continued holding her.
“I just want to get a better view of my love.” He stopped twirling her around and placed her on his stomach.
Fluttershy stopped laughing and looked into his eyes. Yellow or not, they were still beautiful to her. “You know Discord. This is pretty fun.”
Discord smiled, he had to admit, even though her eyes were bigger than normal, they were still pretty cute. “Well...I guess it is...I mean, I would have more fun doing ca-”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
*SMACK*
“OW” Discord rolled over and held his face in pain while Fluttershy shot into the air. “What the-” He looked up to see the most ugliest creature he had ever laid eyes on. “A changeling!? What are you doing here?”
“A changeling?” Fluttershy landed on the floor and held one of her hooves to her chest.
At that moment. The changeling got his head out of the ground and took a swig from a bottle that somehow still had liquid in it. He staggered a bit and looked at Discord. “Why hello deep and dark fear of mine, *hick* how you doin’? Hows your pony snack? She in your belly yet?”
“W-what?” Discord back up from this weird creature. “What are you talking about changeling?”
The changeling walked backwards until it was next to Fluttershy. “Oh come on senjor, surely you hypnotized this little mare so you could eat her.” The changeling turned to Fluttershy and belched. “Right?”
Fluttershy pushed him off. “What are you talking about, he hasn’t-”
“Don’t play...play Yazzie with me mare. I know for a single fact that you have eyes that swirl in your head because” Stan grabbed Fluttershy’s head and turned it to Discord. “THAT! creature right there has entered your mind so he could...could...uh….what did he do again?”
Fluttershy shoved the changeling to the ground and ran up to Discord. “What is he talking about Dissy?”
Discord was getting embarrassed. This bug was making him look like a bad guy again. And he wasn’t! “I-I-I don’t-”
“OH yeah! You wanted to make it so that she could fall in love with you and..” The changeling started hugging himself in a suggestive manner and making “mwah” sounds.
They both blushed and looked at each other. “I-I-I.” Discord didn’t know what to say to that. This changeling was talking about things that were not true, it was starting to bug him...no pun intended.
The changeling stopped and smiled. “And when you’re done with that, you would...um...you would...” The changeling had to think about how he would demonstrate this creature eating the smaller one. He finally had the idea and slowly held up his hoof, licking one of the holes in it while moaning.
Discord dropped his jaw, Fluttershy yelped, and a puking noise was heard in the distant bushes. “MMmhhhhh, and then you would swallow it whole while Mmmhhh-ing, and then you would-”
“ENOUGH!” Discord flew up to him and grabbed his throat. “You ugly little-”
“Are you gonna do that to me now?” The changeling stop smiling and tilted his head.
Fluttershy backed up. “A-are you?” Discord turned around to see Fluttershy on the verge of tears.
“Shy? You don’t actually-”
“I’m warning you right now El Talantilerobaliro, I so do not taste as good as the other hundreds of brothers and sisters you ate.”
“How could you!” Fluttershy couldn’t take it anymore, all of this new information about how her apparent friend was a monster was too much for her. She broke down and started to cry.
Discord dropped the changeling and turned around. “F-fluttershy…” He was getting sick and tired of this bug saying how he was a monster. He held up a paw to try and comfort her.
“LOOK OUT!” The changeling yelled. “He’s gonna do ya!”
Fluttershy squeaked and flew away. “Fluttershy!” Discord growled at the changeling before flying after her. "You'll pay for this!" He yelled, leaving the bug to his beer.
“Hu...well that was one strange Spanish goat.” He chuckled to himself and sipped his bottle. “Maybe I should've replaced ‘do’ with ‘get’...or was it got...yeah...gotten would've been better.”
The changelings ear stem twitched as another one of his kind came out of the bushes, puke plastered on his mouth. “S-Stan..d-did you just.”
Stan raised his bottle in the air and yelled, “Well hello Mr. Carl, glad you could make it to the all night party.”
Carl wiped the love pile off of him and walked up to his friend. “Stan, do you realize what you did?”
Stan belched and said, “Of course I realize what you did, I unfortunately got eaten by El dismortalitilero...Shame really, I thought I would last about…” Stan checked his invisible watch. “Five hours ago...Hey Carl, what time is it?”
Carl continued to stand there with his mouth gaped. He never knew a changeling like him would be able to withstand the powers of El Discordtalantilo. Was his drunkenness making him more powerful? “We need to go home Stan.”
“Cathy!” Stan yelled. “When will you stop saying that and realized that I want to be intimate friends with her.” Stan pointed up at the tower without looking.
“Um..Stan, that’s the wrong one.” Carl pointed where he was pointing. Stan followed his friends sight and saw that a different colored alicorn was standing on the balcony.
“Weird,” Stan scratched his head. “I thought the white one would be up this late.”
Carl smacked him upside the head, no longer caring that he was doing it now. “Stan, the dark one is in control of the night...or was it the moon.”
“Moon..." Stan turned away from her and at the moon, realizing that, if an mare like her could make something like that, then maybe she was just as beautiful. "Hehe, moon or not, she’s still pretty pretty...almost as good as that other one…” Stan smiled at her. The dark mare did look just as beautiful as the white mare, and with this one now out and about, maybe Stan could have a chance with this one before he got to the other one. Almost like a warm up.
Carl nearly puked again. “Can we stop talking about how you wanting to get laid Stan! Especially with royalty.”
“Hey look!” Stan lifted his arm, smacking Carl while doing so, and pointed at the blue colored alicorn. “She’s flying!” Stan chugged the rest of his drink and slammed it on the grass. “Looks like the other one want’s a piece of this black flank.” Stan staggered and flew after her.
“STAN! Ugh…” Carl just sighed and flew after him. “What have I created?”
“You ain’t the boss of my booze, I can do what I wa-”
*SMACK*
Carl stopped flying and crossed his hooves as Stan smacked into a lamp post. He shook his head in dismay. “Are you okay?” He asked with disappointment in his voice.
Stan spun around and smiled. “I am just as good as that mare is looking.” Stan pointed toward his right.
Carl sighed and looked the same way to see what he was talking about. His jaw immediately dropped once he looked at who was walking along side the street. It was Luna.
“W-what is she doing out in this part of town?” Carl asked, though he knew Stan would say-
“YOMYGOSH! Let’s go seduce that mare and see if she wants me!” Stan rubbed his hooves and ran toward her with full speed.
Carl sighed and grabbed his wings, making Stan run in place with his tongue flapping in the fake wind. “Just leave her alone Stan, she must be out here for a reason. Besides, she’s in a disguise.”
“Nice rhyme.” Stan stopped running in place and faced his friend. “Wait...how do you-”
Carl smacked him. “We can disguise too you know, so I‘m pretty sure we...or I, know a bit about who’s disguised and who’s not. Those red glasses are giving off so much green, I can see it from here, it's obviously disguising magic. Look, let’s just leave her alone.”
“But she’s not alone, she’s in that club.”
“What club?” Carl yanked Stan out of the way and saw that the princess was now walking into a club, and from the sound of it, it that was packed full of ponies. “What’s she doing-”
“Let’s go say hi.” Stan started running, but he stopped mid way and ran back to Carl. “W-w-wait! I need to practice first” He cleared his throat and looked at his friend. “Carl, change into her and let me seduce you, then you do the same to me.”
Carl was dumbfounded. “What?”
“Just change into Luna and seduce me.”
“W-what?” Carl’s mind was still trying to process what his drunk friend was saying.
“Seduce me!” Stan sighed. “You know what. Forget it, let me do it.” He puffed out his chest and took a heroic pose. “Ey there Miss. Moonie, how’s about we go blow a stand of popsicles and get to my place to come...and uh, do...things...Carl, what would we do?” He belched and smiled at Carl.
Carl’s brain continued to skip gears as Stan continued to talk. “W-w-what?”
Stan tapped Carl’s nose. “It’s always with the what’s with you..why not the other W’s, like how…” Stan pulled out another beer and took a sip, which turned into a chug.
“Where does he keep getting those.” Carl said to himself. “Look Stan, can we just go home? That’s all I want right now.”
Stan held a hoof to his chest. “And I want to have a princess to make out with, and then eventually date, and then...well, you know the rest, so it seems we reached an impasse.”
Carl groaned. “No we haven't. That’s it! Stan, I am no longer telling you to go home.” He grabbed Stan’s beer, which turned out to be his entire arm, and pulled him away from the sight of the ponies. “I am making you go home.”
Stan pulled away from his grip and stuck his tongue out. “Well then make me.”
Carl growled. “Well then...I will.”
“Well then!” Stan finished the rest of his beer and threw it into an alleyway that was next to the club, making a cat screech. Stan put up his hooves and prepared for combat. “Ba-ring it Charley.”
“IT”S CARL!” And just like that, they lunged at each other.
Shift and Lift walked through the streets with their heads up high and eye’s looking everywhere. “So,” Lift said. “Where to now?”
Shift smiled. “I dunno, somewhere that the fans would least expect us to be.”
Lift took of his headphones and wrapped them around his neck. “Then it’s gotta be a pretty cool club, one that has just enough ponies-”
“And just the right kind of music.” Shift finished and tilted his fedora to his right. “How about that place?”
They both looked at a club that seemed just right for their tastes. “Seems decent-”
“To say the least.” Shift finished.
“Welp, looks like we-”
*SMASH*
Lift yelped and grabbed his brother, shaking like a leaf. “What was that?”
Shift did the same. “I-I don’t”
*CRASH*
“STAN! Just give up!”
“NO...YOU!”
Shift and Lift let go of each other and realized what the noises were. “Looks like our friends-”
“Are back.” Lift finished. They smiled at one another and headed toward the noise, which was behind an alley.
As they turned around the corner, they saw a pair of changelings fighting one another, both knocking each other into piles of trash, cans, walls, and dumpsters. Shift and Lift just smiled. “Should we help?” Shift asked.
“I dunno, should we?” Lift crossed his hooves and raised an eye toward him.
Shift nodded. With that, they both cleared their throat and said. “EY hero!”
Stan ears pointed toward them. “Hero? Oh...that’s me!” He pushed Carl off of him and ran out of the alley.
“Come back here...ugh...Stan!...whew...how can he still stand?” Carl got up and dusted himself off before following him.
Shift and Lift chuckled. “Looks like our hero-” Shift started.
“And his sidekick-”
“Are in a bit of-”
“trouble.”
“Whoa!” Stan gasped and ran up to the DJ's “How’d you two do that?”
They both tilted their heads. “Did what?” They said in unison.
“OHmygosh, you can do it together too!”
“Do what together?” They said again, not understanding a thing Stan was talking about.
Carl stood next to Stan and wrapped his hoof around the back of his neck. “Don’t listen to him guys, he’s just drunk off his flank.”
“Still?” Lift said.
Stan flopped his ear stems. “Aw, they didn't do it that time.”
Shift pointed at Stan and looked at Carl. “What is he talking about?”
Carl shrugged. “I don’t know. Can you two just help me get this guy home?”
“But Caaaaaaaaarl! I wanna do the princess.”
The DJ's burst out laughing. “W-wh-what?!” They said together.
Carl groaned. “It’s a long story, basically he saw a poster of Celestia, and now he’s got beer goggles for her, and her sister apparently.”
Shift stopped laughing long enough to say, “Really? How does he expect to-”
“Get laid with them?” Lift finished.
Carl blushed while Stan raised his hoof in the air. “By laying with the younger sister first..who is right over...over...Hey! Where’d she go?” Stan walked out into the street and turned around several times to try and find her. “She was right here.”
“Who? Luna?” Shift asked, looking at Carl.
Carl replied with a nod. “Yep, we saw her flying out from her balcony, and then we found her walking along the street, and she was wearing glasses with disguising magic.
"How could you tell?" They asked.
"I could see the green flames coming off of it from across the street. Anyway, she then heading into that club.” Carl pointed to the building next to them.
Shift and Lift looked at each other, unsure as how to respond to that. “So...She’s out and about-”
“In this part of town-” Lift finished.
“Where all the bars,”
“and the drunks,”
“and the drugger's,”
“and shifter's, no offence brother.”
“None taken, but really. I don’t think someling..or uh, pony like her would be out in this place.”
“Yeah,” Lift said. “It’s pretty shady.” The DJ's looked up at the club they were eyeing earlier. “Well, except for this place, seems pretty high class, even for a princess.”
Stan stopped spinning and looked at were the others were looking. “Ooooohhhh, pretty lights. Can we go in?!”
Carl growled and grabbed Stan. “NO! We are going straight-”
“Into that bangin' club!” Shift and Lift grabbed them and started pushing them into the building.
“Guys!” Carl said. “Don’t encourage him, he needs to-”
“Let the hero do what he wants Carl.” Shift said with a sly smile.
“Yeah,” Stan said. “let Stan do what he want’s Carl.”
Carl just sighed and looked at the entrance to the door, knowing that once they enter, there will be trouble.
The DJ's shoved the heroes into the club. Carl stumbled but kept his stance. Meanwhile, Stan managed to stumble all the way into the counter, knocking a group of ponies out of the way. “Number five of the first pleading!” Stan yelled. “Gimme your best shot Mr. Light.”
“Mr. who?” The bartender looked as uncomfortable as ever once this changeling came in, he was about to say something, but another came up behind the bug and laughed.
“So sorry about that...he’s just a bit tipsy is all...w-we’ll just find our way out...seeing that you’re not to keen on changelings being in your bar.” Carl turned Stan around and started walking.
“Hey now!” The bartender said. “I never said that I don’t accept your kind. You guys can come in all you want. Zebras, on the other hoof, can stay in their herds.” He smiled and placed an empty glass on the table. Stan gazed at it in amazement while Carl groaned. “So what’ll it be gents?”
Stan shoved Carl out of the way, making him land on a stool surprisingly, and rested his arm on the table. “How’s about a mariachi band?”
“Um...I think you mean a martini?”
“That too.” The bartender shrugged and poured a glass for Stan to drink.
Carl sighed and looked around the bar, it was nothing but a dance floor in the middle, and tables all around, and music that would be something Lift and Shift were into, he would ask if they liked the music, but the twins were gone, so now it was just him. He was starting to not care what his brothers were doing. So, he slumped his head on the table and sighed. All he wanted to do right now was go home.
“One of your finest mugs please.” Carl’s ears twitched once he heard that feminine voice. He looked up and saw that it was-
Carl nearly fell out of his stool once he saw the dark princess herself chugging down a drink almost as fast as Stan did. “S-she’s here?” He thought. "Drinking!? I though she would be dancing."
Carl looked both ways and slid his stool along the ground until he was next to her. Carl looked up at the princess, her glasses were still a blazed with green fire, just like the type of fire his kind used when they disguised themselves. He had to admit, they did look hot on her, metaphorically and physically.
"Whoa now Carl," He thought. "back up, she's a princess, don't be like Stan." Carl closed his eyes and took a deep breath, knowing full well that he needed to let the princess do whatever she wanted. She's a princess, a princess with a nice pair of blazing red glasses and eyes so beautiful that he could. "Shut up Carl!"
Luna stopped drinking and looked at him. "Hmm? What did you say?"
Carl clamped his mouth shut and looked at Luna, he wanted to back away from her and huddle in a corner. "Oh...uh...n-nice glasses?" "DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD!"
Luna giggled and smiled. "Why thank you changeling, nice to see your kind getting along here, especially to a random mare like me."
"Nice rookie mistake there princess." Carl thought. He shook his head and smiled back. "Well, you know us changelings, just...trying to fit in." He laughed nervously, making her laugh as well.
"I can relate." She took another sip from her drink. "So, what brings you here?"
Carl fidgeted, maybe he could get some answers as to why she's here now. "Oh just...hanging around, what about you?"
Luna shifted her eyes. "Just taking a breather from things." She adjusted her hair and smiled.
Carl decided to get to the point, he was beyond curious as to why she was here, so he was gonna get answers now, and nothing would stop him. "Look, you can drop the act Lu-"
*CRASH*
“Gah...Watch where you’re going changeling, you spilled my drink!”
Carl immediately looked past Luna to see Stan knocking into another stallion who was carrying a drink for himself. He also looked slightly tougher and bigger than him, and almost just as drunk. Stan got up and looked at the pony straight in the eyes. “How’s about you go watching where your face was going, Mr. I’m important.”
The stallion placed his bottle on a table where his group of friends were at and looked at Stan, his drunk eyes a blazed. “Do you know who I am?” The pony asked.
“Do you know how much of a hero I am?” Stan answered with a smirk
The stallion growled. “Changeling, I suggest you don’t get on my bad side, my friends might feel the same way.” The pony glanced over at his friends at the table, who were starting to get just as mad as him.
Stan snickered. “Oh no! Mr. Important over here has a bad side...yeah, how about you go do a horizon hustle with yourself and sleep next to your friends over there.” Carl bit his hoof in hopes that Stan say anything stupider than what he’s already said.
“Alright changeling, you think you’re so tough.” The stallion grabbed Stan by the throat and held him inches away from his face. “Let's take this outside.” The stallion looked over his shoulder to make sure his gang would join them.
Stan sneered and pushed himself away from the pony. “Oh please, I'm tougher then anyone, I can take on aaaaaaanything, with or without an outside.” He crossed his hooves and looked away.
Carl was wanting to look away too, He knew all too well where this was going. “He’s gonna beat him up!" He thought. "Come on Carl, you have to do something!” Carl decided that it was time for him to Stallion up. He ran up to the pony and said with no confidence in his voice. “Um...hey...pony.” Carl poked him on the side, receiving a glare in response.
“The names Charles Mighty” The pony cracked his hoof and looked down on the changeling.
Carl gulped. "Well, Um...Look Charles, me and my friend here don't want any trou-"
"So he's your friend?" Charles glared back at Stan, who was currently eyeing the princess. "Guess that only gives me a reason to beat you up too."
"Oh well that's all well and go- W-w-what!" Carl looked up at the pony in pure fear now, knowing full well that he could kick his flank. He had to talk his way out of this now. "Wait a sec now, I-"
“WOOOOOOOOOOOO.” He was interrupted by Stan cheering as the changeling grabbed the pony's beer bottle. “Let me show you how a real changeling does it Miss Moon!” Before anyone could stop him, he chugged down what was left of the bottle and threw it on the floor. “Whoooo….whoooo.” Stan smiled slowly went away once he glanced at the other ponies. “What?”
Every pony at the table was glaring at him. Stan felt tapping behind his shoulder and turned around to see the pony. “That was my drink, changeling!” Charles yelled.
Stan rolled his eyes. “Like you need it, besides, a bug like me needs way more...matobolizm and stuff, so..." Stan rested his arm on the counter and look at Luna. "Did it impress you?”
Luna stopped drinking her mug and raised an eye at Stan. "Did what impress me?"
“So that’s why he did it…” Carl thought. "Just to look like a tough guy in front of the princess."
The other stallions sitting at the table glanced to one another and nodded. Knowing this changeling was gonna pay for drinking his friends drinks. “That’s it changeling, you lit the wrong fuse.” Charles reached down and grabbed the his bottle from the ground.
Stan snickered. “I can’t breath fire silly, and I don’t even have a match.” He smiled, knowing this stallion was all talk and no bite. “So hows about you go bu-”
*SMASH*
Carl gasped and the princess turned away from her drink to see Stan falling to the floor. Carl backed into Luna once he saw Charles pointing the now broken bottle at him. “You wanna go too changeling?”
“Hey! What was that for!” Luna said as she stepped in between Carl and the pony. “The bugs were just trying to have a good time.”
“So were we,” Charles said through his grinding teeth, he looked toward his friends again, who were looking at the changeling on the ground. “until this bug showed up!”
The stallion continued pointing the sharp end of the bottle toward Carl. “You and the rest of your kind are all the same, ruining everything all the time."
Carl cowered in fear while Luna continued standing in front of him. “So that’s what this is about? Just because he’s a changeling?”
“So you’re standing up for him now?” Charles's other friends started looking at her now. “Standing up for this monster.”
Carl was starting to shake. He didn’t care what this stallion was saying, he heard it all before, but he did care about living.
Luna scoffed. “He is not a monster, and so what if him and the rest of his kind made a mistake, there here trying to fix it, don’t hold that against him.”
Charles and his friends weren’t buying it, they started circling the mare and changeling, walking over Stan as his hoof began to twitch.
“Mare, listen, we don’t like hurtin’ ladies, so why don’t you just step aside and let us take care of this creature for ruining our town.”
Luna glared at him, this stallion and his friend were hitting the stage of 'angry drunkenness', she looked behind her at the still cowering changeling, admittedly, she found their kind a little adorable, and she could relate with the whole 'doing something bad and living with it' thing. She was not gonna let this creature get hurt for trying to do good. Even if it meant others knowing she was taking a break from royal duties just to party out and about. “You’re gonna have to get past me first.”
Charles grinned, as did his friends. “With pleasure.” He held his hoof back and plunged it toward the mares face.
Charles hoof was inches away from contact, but no contact was made. Both him and Luna were surprised to see this. “what the-”
Seconds later, he was thrown across the room, making the music stop once he hit the dance floor. His friends gasped and looked over their shoulders to realized what happened. It was Stan. Who got back up and tossed Charles across the room.
“S-stan?” Carl leaned over Luna’s shoulder and saw Stan standing up with his head down, hiding his face.
Charles got up from the floor and groaned. “W-wha? How are you still awake, changeling?”
Stan continued standing there, not talking or looking up. Carl was starting to get nervous. “Uh...Stan.” Carl said. “Y-you can talk now-”
“So tell me about this one Terry.” Stan said, his eyes still down to the ground.
The group of stallions looked at each other. “Terry?” One of the said. “What are you talking about bug.”
“Who cares!” Charles yelled. "You're dead bug!" He ran toward Stan, intent on ending the changelings life.
Stan smiled and ducked as the pony pounced on him, sending Charles crashing onto the table his friends were at. “Feisty little prisoner, ain't ya. You'll still die here either way.” Others in the bar gasped once they could finally see Stan as he held his head high and started walking toward the dance floor.
The pony’s friends started helping him up once Stan put his hoof on an old radio at the end of the counter. The pony shook his friends off him and grabbed the broken bottle. “You’re gonna pay changeling!”
Stan turned around to reveal his bright red eyes and wicked smile. Most ponies in the club gasped while others, being the group of angry ponies, continued glaring at him. Carl held onto Luna’s arm and prayed that Stan would be okay after this. As for Luna, she instinctively put a wing over Carl and held him close, making him blush a bit.
“So, It looks like I got my hoof full on this one, ey Tommy?” Stan glanced to the bartender, who gave him a weird look and stepped away.
"Um, changeling," The bartender said. "I wouldn't be fighting in my bar if I was you, and that radio is from my father, it only plays old music, I don't think you would-"
"You're right Tom," Stan interrupted. "Music would be nice."
“Uh, Stan, you okay?” Carl was getting too nervous for this. Stan wasn’t acting like this a little bit ago, now he was starting to look very scary with those red eyes and smile.
Charles and his friends started walking toward him. "You're dead changeling..."
Everyone in the bar dropped their jaws as Stan walked toward Carl and dusted his hooves off from beating up Charles and his group of ponies, who laid on the ground next to the doors in pain.
“S-Stan?!” Carl got off Luna and ran up to his friend. “H-how..when...what?”
Stan looked at him with his still glowing red eyes and chuckled “Impressed? I know, seeing death for the first time is pretty gruesome, but you get use to it.” Stan rubbed his hoof against his chest and looked at it.
“But they’re still alive.” Carl pointed at the now standing group of ponies. Five of them took a look at Stan and made a run out the door while one of them pointed at Stan.
“Dis ain’t ova bug.” He said through his broken jaw before running away.
Stan raised an eye as the pony ran out the door and looked back at Carl. “Um, ya blind rookie, the amount of blood commin’ off them, and the guts on the floor, kinda indicate that they're dead.”
“What are you talking abou-”
Suddenly, the club music turned back on and the whole crowd of ponies cheered and clapped their hooves. The pair of changelings turned around to look at the sight and heard. “Hurrahs” and “Way to go’s” and “Way to kick his flank’s.”
Stan smirked and wrapped an arm around Carl. “Seems like the other brothers wanna celebrate!” Stan set Carl next to him as he sat down and grabbed a glass that the bartender had already put out.
Carl started fidgeting. “Stan, tell me, how did you do that?”
Stan stopped sipping and looked at his brother. “Do what?”
“What do you mean ‘do what? I mean you beating up all those guys. How’d you do it?”
Stan put on a deadpan look. “Beating them up? really rookie? Do you even know what we do?"
"W-what?" Carl couldn't understand a thing Stan was talking about, saying he killed them when they are still breathing. And how he just threw bottles and chairs at them, saying that they were knives and saws, come to think of it, it sounded a little familiar to Carl, like he heard this kind of stuff before.
“Well, well, well." Stan and Carl turned to their right and saw Luna next to them. “Nice way to stand up for yourself changeling.”
Stan knelled down and smiled. "Anything for you my queen."
"Queen?" Luna chuckled. "Sorry changeling but, you seem to-"
"Be drunk off your flank!" Carl walked in between the two of them and looked at Luna. "Um, give us a sec." Before Luna could respond, Carl yanked Stan away from her and whispered, "What are you trying to do? Get her found out?"
Stan pushed him off and grabbed his throat. "Don't you dare disrespect our queen rookie, you don't just walk away from her when she's talking!"
"B..but St-ack...Stan..." Carl was doing his best to talk with two hooves around his throat. "I....Its lu....nah..."
"Luna?" Stan turned back around and, just like before, the queen was still sitting on her throne, and drinking the blood of the freshly killed. Stan looked back at Carl and let go of him. "You okay rookie? You haven't been drinking, have you?"
Carl sucked in as much oxygen as he could and panted his brains out. He wanted to say so many things that involved yelling and swearing, but he decided to just calm down and say, "How about....bleh....I go talk to....huf...her while you stay...hug...here and celebrate."
Stan lifted an eye, but nodded. "Aright rookie, but be careful, she ain't merciful, even if you plead."
Carl rolled his eyes and walked past him. "What is Stan's problem." He thought. "He's acting like he's in the highest branch in the swarm or something. Last I remember he was a Staff Sargent..."
Stan stood up and chuckled. "Nice goin' ro-"
"EY HERO!"
Stan looked toward the crowd on the dance floor and smiled. "If it isn't the twins." Stan walked to the floor while Carl got the courage to look at Luna
Carl was starting to think that now would be a good time to just leave and not come back, Stan would be okay, and he could go home right now, but curiosity was getting the best of him. He wanted to know why exactly why the princess was here, he had another reason as well, but he couldn't really figure out why, it was some weird warm feeling in his stomach, either it was telling him that he hasn't eaten love in a couple months, or that he should talk to the mare. So, he took a deep breath and tapped her shoulder. "Okay, Uh...look mare, I-”
Luna then wrapped an arm around Carl and pulled him in for a hug, burying his muzzle in her chest. “You can call me Moonlight Changeling, and I must say that your friend there knows how to fight, makes me wonder what the rest of your kind can do?” She raised an eye at him and smiled.
Carl started struggling to get out of the hug. "Um...did you...hugh...see us fighting during the attack?"
Luna let go of him and adjusted her glasses. "Well...um...I was asleep at the time."
"Asleep?" Carl asked. "Through an attack?"
Luna chuckled nervously. "I..I'm a hard sleeper."
Carl facehoofed and sighed. "Look, you can drop the act now."
Luna ignored what he said and made her face inches away from Carl's. “Come now, don't look down, You guys must celebrate, we must have a fun time! Your kind deserves a new life, one filled with excitement and joy and…” She rubbed her face against his and whispered. “Pleasure…”
Carl yelped again and fell to the floor. “Okay, that’s it!” He grabbed Luna and looked at her in the face. “Listen, I know exactly who you are.”
Luna rolled her eyes and said, “Oh really?” She took a sip of her drink.
“Yes,” Carl said with a smile. “your real name is Luna.”
Luna took a spit take in front of Carl and gasped "W-w-what...H-how do you know?"
Carl wiped the booze off of him in disgust. “Because I’m a changeling, I can see a disguise when I see it. Other ponies might see you as a regular pony, but in my eyes, I see a hot alicorn with cute flaming sunglasses.” He finished by clamping his mouth shut. "I need to stop saying that out loud!"
Luna put her drink on the table and looked at him with pleading eyes through the flaming glasses. “N-no, please don’t *hick* don’t tell anypony, It’ll be in the news by the morrow if they know.”
Carl rolled his eyes. “Calm down, I won’t tell.”
“I-I just came here to let off some steam, you know how hard a princess’s job is...right? With the whole treaty making and remembering what it's like to be in your hooves, do you know we're almost alike?” Carl continued staring at the princess, not knowing what she was talking about.
"Uh...how?"
Luna held her head down and finished the rest of her drink. "I....I'd rather not talk about it, but listen I-I’ll do anything!" Luna continued to beg. "Anything to not make you tell, H-how about...oh...what can a princess do for a changeling…”
Carl started to get worried. She was freaking out more than he though mares normally would. “Hey, look princess, I won't tell any-” Then his stomach grumbled, and even though the music was blasting, it was loud enough for both of them to hear it.
Luna gasped. “You are hungry.”
Carl patted his belly. “Look’s like it, come to think of it, I don't really remember the last time I was fed, but that’s beside the point-”
“No changeling.” Luna grabbed him and looked at him with a serious face. “This is the point, perhaps I have found a way to help you, and to make sure you will keep your mouth shut about this.”
Carl looked confused. “What are you talking aboMph.”
Luna hugged him and looked around the room to see if anyone else was watching her. “Are you full yet, changeling?”
Carl struggled through the hug and slid out of it. “Hugh...no, look, that’s not how we get love, princess.”
Luna raised an eye. “Then tell me, how do you do it?”
Carl sighed, knowing this would be awkward for him to tell. “L-l-look, if I tell you, you’ll just smack my face and run away, callin’ us you-know-what offenders.” Carl had gone through this process before, never worked out.
Luna grabbed him again and hosted him in the air. “Just tell me changeling, you are hungry, and you know something that I don’t want to ever let anyone else know, I must repay the favor by feeding you!”
Carl blushed. He was starting to think this mare had too much, even though it looked like she had three beers. "Princesses must get drunk pretty fast if she's already asking stuff like this." Carl shook his head and looked at her in embarrassment. “I-I don’t think you want to know.”
“Why not? Pray, tell me how you do it!”
Carl’s ears were starting to hurt, this alicorn was starting to talk louder and louder with every sentence. “Trust me, you don’t wanna-”
Carl stopped talking once he saw the mares eyes start to turn bright white. “Tell...me..” She said quietly, which was even worse than yelling for him.
Carl gulped. “Okay, okay.” He sighed. “We do it by…” He looked left and right and motioned Luna to come closer. Luna did and moved her ear closer to his mouth. “We do it by-” The rest was inaudible for the author.
Once he was done, Luna reeled back and laughed. “Is that all? I must confess changeling, that was my third guess as to how you acquire love.”
Carl looked down and blushed, this was starting to become so embarrassing for him. “Right, so now you know that we can’t can you-”
“So where shall we do it?” Luna started scanning the building while Carl flew to the air.
“W-WHAT!?”
“Well come now, changeling, this is a task that would be better in private.” Luna continued to look around.
Carl landed on the floor and dropped his jaw. “Y-you can’t be serious, you can’t just-”
“AH HA!” She yelled. “We shall do it in the bathrooms, no one will see us there!”
Carl got up and looked at her with wide eyes. “Princess, you need to realize that I am a...oh what’s that word...uh, a lower class citizen, and not only that, but, you hardly know me, a-and you’re drunk, and you really wanna-”
Luna grabbed him by her magic. “It does not matter changeling, I am willing to sacrifice many things in order to keep this secret, and do not worry,” She kissed the side of his face and smiled. “this isn’t my first time”
Carl lost it at that point. He used his wings and tried to fly off, looking around for Stan to see if he could help get him out of this. “Stan! Uh...Code red or...whatever you guys use in the swarm!”
Luna wrapped her arm around his neck and shushed him. “Do not worry subject. I do know you anyway, you were the bug that help that other bug with the treaty.” She leaned into his ear and said, “Think of this as an award as well.”
Carl flailed again and tried to get out of the strong grip that was Luna’s, he looked high and low for his brother, but he was n nowhere. “Stan! Code black, code black...gha...just...Help a brother out!”
Luna smiled at the little display and started making her way to the restrooms. Carl flailed so much that he was able to get out of her grip. “Ohhoho no you don’t. I haven't done something like this in a long time changeling, now come!” Luna quickly grabbed him by his back hooves with her magic. “You have a princess to please.”
Carl whimpered and dragged his hooves across the floor, hoping to grab something that would stop this.
A few seconds latter, Stan's ears twitched once he heard doors shutting in the distance, he looked over his shoulder and shrugged. "Must be the wind," He turned back around and smiled. "so anyway, private Shifter and Lifter, what was this formula enhancer you called again?"
The bathroom door slammed open and Carl came tumbling out, panting and dripping with sweat.Seconds later, a mare came out in the same condition. She looked down at the changeling and smiled. “You full?”
Carl slowly got on his hooves and faced her. “I….geah, I….ugh….t-that….w...was…w-”
“That was what?” Luna asked.
Carl continued to pant. “I...have just...meh...one thing...to...to say.” Carl took a deep breath and sighed. “You know how to feed a changeling.” He said in amazement.
Luna chuckled. “As I should, a thousand years later and I still got it.” She leaned on him and smiled. “I’ll be at the castle if you need another helping.” She walked past him and slowly glided her tail under his chin before she finally left him alone outside of the door.
Carl finally got his breath and sat down. He was filled with mixed emotions. confusion, worry, happiness, amazement, all of this leading to one thing. “The mare knows her magic!” He said. “Who knew a love spell that powerful could fill me up?” He slumped to the side of a wall. “And she was right, she does still has it. All that power she was talking about, and all that magic...Mhh. What a mare.” He smacked his lips. "Pretty tasty too."
Carl looked down and saw the energy flowing through his stomach. “This should last months.” He stretched and slowly got up on his hooves again. At his current state, he was feeling both happy and amazed. “If only mares like her knew spells like that.” He walked back out into the main area and looked around. “Hmp, looks like she actually left.” Carl was still trying to keep his balance. The energy coming from him was almost too much to handle. He needed a drink.
He slumped to the side of the counter and laid his head on it. “Number forty-seven please.” He said while raising his arm in the air.
“Hieeeee Carrrrl!”
Carl sighed and looked up. “Oh...hi Stan.” He slumped back down, not knowing why Stan was here and acting drunk again.
“Wait...Stan? Where the heck wer-” Carl looked back up to see he was still there. Drinking cider, with a silly straw, his eyes were back to normal and on both sides stood two changelings Carl knew all too well.
“Well hi Carl.” Shift said.
“Glad you could make it.” Lift finished.
Stan stopped sipping and snickered. “They did it again, Carl.”
Carl slid his way to the stool next to them. “W-where were you two, and what’s up with Stan?”
“What do you mean?” Shift said.
“Why is he all loopy now?" Carl asked. "He was talking all crazy like and...” Carl rambled a bit.
Shift and lift looked at each other and chuckled. “Well,-”
“Yeah, you see, me and Lift here we’re gonna play DJ-”
“But the other DJs didn't want us by their record table-”
“and man, do they look weird-”
“There was this one that had both yellow and green hair-”
“And another with a blue body-”
“Then this gray one with blue hair with red ends-”
“Then this other gray one with green and blue hair,
“he was pretty cool, but he twitches a lot-”
“Then there was this other guy who’s name reminded us of our friend All-exes, you know that guy Carl?”
Carl scratched his head. “I think so? But why didn't they want you over there?”
Shift nodded. “Eh, too much for me and Lift to handle.” The Twins looked down and saw that Stan had finished his cider.
“EY!”
“Barkey,”
“‘nother round please.” They finished in unison.
Stan set his glass down and snickered. “That’s sooooo cooooool.”
Carl raised and eye. “And...Uh, what about Stan? last time I saw him he had red eyes and talked all crazy like.”
Shift and lift scratched their heads. “Well,” Lift said. “We don’t really know.”
“Carl, when we stopped conversing with dem other DJs.”
“We glanced over to our friend here, Stan, fighten’ with a group of ponies.”
“And boy did Stan know how to fight, He messed all those poor dudes faces in-”
Carl rolled his eyes. “I know, I saw.”
"Yeah, but anyway, after they ran off-"
“and you went to the bathroom with with your mare friend to...better know eachother”
Carl blushed. “I-I-It was nothing. We didn’t do anything.” Carl didn’t want to talk about it at all.
“Sure…” They said in unison.
“L-Look, what happened next?” Carl asked.
“Anyway,” The DJ’s continued “as soon as you left, me and Lift here-.”
“called him over here and started talkin’ to him,”
“And he was talkin’ real funny too.”
Carl walked closer to them. “How so?”
Shift and Lift looked at each other. “Well, like we said, he was talkin’ real funny like-”
“and sayin’ random names all the time-”
“And talkin about torture and murder-”
“And from where we were hearin’ it-”
“Sounded like he was actin' like the darklings.” Shift ended with an evil smile.
Carl stepped back. “D-darklings?” Carl knew that scary story all too well.
Shift and Lift grinned at each other and said, “One of our best stories. Right next to the hatchling eater."
Lift nudged his brother. “Nothin’ like scarin’ your own kind-”
“By talkin’ about what your own kind doin' 'dark stuff' behind the little ones’ backs.” The laughed out loud, making Stan do the same.
Carl narrowed his eyes. “That was a horrible story! All it was was changelings torturing ponies just because they were walking into our hive. We don’t do that!”
Shift and Lift smiled at them. “How would you know, Carl?” Lift said.
"Yeah, Stan might even be one of em.'"
Carl sighed. He didn’t really feel like talking about that right now. “So, about Stan.” He pointed at his friend, who was drinking out of a full glass of cider with the silly straw.
Shift and Lift shrugged. “We brought him over here-”
“and poured him a couple of drinks-”
"and after a while."
“And he was starting to talk all drunk like again-”
Carl reached for his own drink and took a sip. “So, why was he acting like a darkling in the first place?”
Shift and Lift pointed at Stan’s swollen head. “The fight must’ve hit him pretty hard or somethin'.” Shift said.
“Hard enough for him to think-”
“He was one of dem darklings.” They chuckled to themselves and patted Stan on the back.
“And theeeeey gave meeeee a siiiilllllyyyyy straaaw from the trashy canzez.” Stan smiled and continued sipping from his straw.
“So, let me get this straight, you guys saw Stan-”
“Yup.”
“with a bruise on his head.”
“Yup.”
“Acting like a darkling.”
“Yup.”
“And you bought him drinks.”
“Yup.”
“To get him drunk again?”
“Yup.”
Carl shook his head. “You guys really need to stop telling stories to little hatchlings.” He pointed at Stan. "Stuff like this can happen."
The DJs laughed. “Yeah-” Shift said.
“Probably.” Lift finished.
Carl looked at Stan again. He was starting to become concerned. “Do you think...I dunno..”
“Whaaaaat iz it Caaaaaaarl?” Stan said.
“Stan, no offence, but, you should go to a hospital.”
Shift and Lift tilted their heads. “Why should he?” They said, making Stan snicker again.
“Well, look at him.” Carl threw his arms at him. “He’s full of bruises after that fight, and he has a bump on his head. Something like that requires care.” Carl pulled the straw out and threw it away. “Not a silly straw!”
“Aww…” Stan whined.
Shift and Lift sighed. “Alright Carl.” Shift said sarcastically. “Go ahead.”
“Take your friend-” Lift said in the same tone of voice.
“and continue ruining his night.”
“Me and Shift here-”
“Are gonna see-”
“If we can score tonight.”
They got out of their walked away, but not before whispering, “Just like you did with the princess.” Right in Carl’s ear.
Carl twitched his eye and blushed. Stan looked at his now empty bottle and placed it back on the counter. “Sooooo, Mr. Carl.” He scooted his stool closer to him. “Can we go visit miss Celestia and play charades?”
Carl looked down and sighed. “Stan…” He shut his eyes and thought about his next words carefully. “Okay, you know what?” Carl got off the stool and took Stan’s hoof. “Let’s go and visit that mare you love so much.” He made his way to the doors.
“We goin’ to see Sunny?” Stan asked with his hoof now glued to Carl’s
Carl grinded his teeth. “Yeah...we are.”
“YAY!” Stan cheered and landed on top of Carl. “I knew you’d let me sooner or later.”
Carl ignored the weight on his back and opened the doors. “Right…” He said through the stain of his muscles. “I just hope that the hospital isn’t too crowded.”
“No...She need’s OUR help, not help from a magician!”
“CHILDREN!”
Everyone in the room turned to the changeling queen, her entire body was filled with patches and bruises, and her horn was connected to a wire that led to a machine that even the changelings didn’t know what it was doing.
“Stop this...this isn’t the way we should act to those who want to help.” Chrysalis looked at the other ponies who were in the room, they had come in to check on her, but the caretakers wouldn’t let that happen.
“We can help you ourselves, queen.” One changeling said.
“Yeah," Another yelled. "you don’t need a magician’s hoof when it comes to bringing you back!”
One of the doctors rested a hoof on a changeling’s shoulder. “Listen, we can bring her back to-”
The changeling smack her hoof off of him. “Don’t you touch me!”
Chrysie sighed, knowing this treaty wouldn’t end overnight, both the ponies and her children were finding it difficult to adjust to all of this. Some children were begging for help, others didn’t want it. Others needed it, but some of the hospital staff didn’t want to lift a hoof when it came to changelings.
And some of her own children didn’t even want the ponies helping her. “What was the point of the treaty?” She asked her children.
The three caretakers looked down, knowing with that tone of voice that a lecture was gonna happen. “To save our kind from extinction…” One of them said.
“And?” The queen motioned her hoof to make them keep going.
Another answered. “And to make peace so we can get love without stealing it.”
“Because?” Chrysalis said.
“Because it’s not right.” They all said in unison.
“Children,” She started. “You need to realize that they really do want to help us, sure, some refuse, but you must understand that they know what is happening to us.”
“Exactly.” A nurse said. “We know what happened, alright? We know all about the conditions your kind is in.”
“You don’t even know the half of it.” A changeling snared, receiving a glare from her queen.
“Changelings, please, let them help me, I will be okay. I am lucky to have someone help me after what I did anyway, and the last thing I want is for one of my subjects saying I don't deserve it.” She pointed to the door. “Now go.”
“But queen-”
She pointed to the door again and glared at them. The changelings sighed in defeat and walked out of the room, each one of them glaring at the doctors and nurses before shutting the door behind them.
Carl flopped his ears to drown out the Stan’s screaming and continued walking to the hospital, he wasn’t sure why Stan was still on his back, but he knew the sooner he got rid of him, the sooner he would get home. “Come on now...besh...where is it?” He whispered.
“So, what do you think I should say, should I impress her with my juggling?”
“We can’t juggle Stan, the balls just fall through our hooves.”
Stan looked down and frowned. “Oh...OH! Can I impress her with mah mussels.” He flexed his non-existing mussels.
Carl strained himself to keep going. “Just...whew...be yourself Stan.”
“Well, how am I supposed to do that?” Stan put his hooves to his sides.
“I...Don’t...KNOW!” Carl flung Stan off of him and sighed. “You...bleh...you weigh a ton Stan.”
Stan stood up and swayed. “That’s because I am a ton, son...hehe. Rapping…”
Carl rolled his eyes and wrapped his hoof around the handle to the door. He knew that once he did this, it would finally be the end of this entire night and dry himself off. “Okay Stan, you ready?” He panted.
“Carl…” Stan went into combat stance. “I was raised ready.”
Carl shook his head “Okay then..” “For the love of Chrysie, don’t be full”
With full force, Carl opened the door and shoved Stan and himself into it. He wasn’t prepared for what he saw.
“Oh...no…”
Stan stood up and dusted himself off. “Whoa...now this is a party! Just look at all the buggies Carl!”
Carl continued to stare off into space as he sat in the waiting room, knowing it was going to be a long wait-
*BELCH*
Especially since Stan was still drunk. Carl thought that Stan would of passed out by now, since it’s been hours since the drinking games. But no, Stan sat next to him drunk as ever, with one ear stem up and another down, his eyelids did the same, and his eyes were pulsating both green and blue. All the while, he was wobbling back and forth with a dopey smile, a raised head, and a lazy tongue that hung out of his closed mouth.
“So..” Stan said. “When will the princess get here?” Stan paused for a second. “Actually, that reminds me…” Stan reached for his pockets while Carl was glad to know that his lie of the princess meeting him here was working, while Stan did...whatever he was doing, Carl chose his next words carefully.
Carl closed his eye. “Stan…” He said. “We need to ta-” He opened his eyes and saw that Stan was making out with the poster of Celestia. “STAN!”
Stan came out of his kiss and fumbled with the poster before stashing it in his flank pocket. “W-w-w-w-ww-hat….y...you ain’t seen nothin’” Stan tapped Carl on the nose. “Besides, I waaaaaas practicing.”
Carl grabbed his hoof and threw it out of his sight. “Stan, listen to me, you need to snap out of it.”
“Snap out of it? I can’t snap Carl, I can only tap.” Stan started tapping his hoof on the ground and laughed.
Carl rubbed his temples, trying to contain his anger. “No Stan, you need to stop acting like this.”
“But I ain’t good at drama Carl, now sports is another page of the story of-” Stan raised his hoof and swung it across the air, saying, “The great and heroic Stan’s plans for getting a princess.” He nudged his friend. “It’s a good read Carl.”
Carl grinded his teeth. “No Stan...you need to cut it out.”
“You mean like what those ponies are doing to our sister?” Stan pointed forward.
“What?!” Carl looked up to see what Stan was talking about, only to realize that they were operating on her infected leg. Carl sighed and looked across the rest of the waiting room, seeing that many of his other brothers and sisters were being operated on as well, some trying to go through the pain, while others fought back each time the doctors touched them. Thankfully, most of them were under anesthetic or were fast asleep, it was the middle of the night anyway.
The doctors would’ve taken them into a room to operate, but all of them were full with other changelings. Carl tried to ignore it, but he knew it wouldn’t help. All these injured changelings being in the same room as him was making him sick, reminding him of when he went back to the hive with Stan. “Yeah…” Carl answered. “Something like that.”
Stan giggled. “I don’t think I can cut my legzies off Carl, I’m preeeeeeetty sure I need them for stuff.” He looked down and marveled at the sight of his hole filled legs.
Carl looked up at a clock. “It’s only ten thirty? Seriously?”
Stan knocked Carl’s head out of the way with his own to look at the clock. “Maybe Mr. Tony forgot what time it is.” Stan scratched his head. “Well, time is like a merry go round anyway, it’s pretty bad to ride in it, and you can totally forget what you’re doing…” Stan shivered and sat back in his seat.
Carl got up and rubbed his head. “Did you really need to do that?” He asked as he sat back in his seat.
“Before you know it,” Stan continued, ignoring what Carl had said. “You’re gonna be finding fish everywhere.”
Carl opened his mouth to respond, but he knew Stan would just say something stupid again. “You know what...I don’t even care anymore…” Carl had enough. He got off his seat and started walking away.
“And after a while, You’ll run out of ti….Carl?” Stan finally snapped out of his speech and realized his friend was walking away from him. “Where are you going?”
“Home…” Carl said blankly.
“Home?” Stan reached in his pocket and pulled out his poster. “But we still need to get to her Carl, how else will I-”
Carl turned around and snatched the poster out of his hooves. “I don’t care Stan!” He yelled, making others in the room start to stare.
“Caaaaaaaaaarl, that’s mine.” Stan wined and reached for the picture.
Carl snapped. He held the paper in front of Stan and ripped it, then he did it again, and again, and again, until it was nothing but pieces of tiny paper. Gasps were heard, mostly from Stan. “C-carl?” Stan asked.
Carl threw the pieces of paper at him and yelled. “Will you wake up Stan! You’re not gonna be with her! Get it through your head!”
“But I am awake, and my head doesn’t have any holes in it.” Stan said innocently.
Carl was ready to punch him, he was ready to raise his hoof in the air and hit him, right in the nose, right in his drunk face, but he knew, with the others that were currently watching them, that he wasn’t gonna get away with it. So, he took a deep breath, calmed his mind, turned around and walked to the door.
“Carl, don’t leave.” Stan grabbed him. “We still need to wait for the princess to get here.”
Some commotion was heard in the room. “The princess is coming here?” a voice shouted.
Carl put his hoof on the door and sighed. “No Stan, I lied. She’s not coming.”
Stan was too confused to understand. “What do you mean? You said that-”
Carl turned around and knocked Stan’s hoof that was grabbing him. “I said that I lied Stan. The only reason why I brought you here is because you’re drunk, and you have a concussion. Just please understand that you need help from a doctor, and not from me.”
Stan walked back a bit. “Why not? You helped me a lot.”
Carl shook his head. He knew that wasn’t true. “The only thing I helped you with, was getting you drunk. I almost got you killed...Twice! And I sure as shi...shugar...don't wanna be apart of anything else that will happen to you. So...From here on out...” Carl put his back legs into it and bashed the door open. “You’re on your own.” Carl no longer wanted to be apart of whatever Stan would do next, it would either have him almost getting eaten by a goat, or getting violated by a powerful mare.
So, with that, Carl turned around and walked outside, where it continued to rain. “Well fine!” Stan yelled. “I can find her with, or without you.” Stan flew into the air and flapped away. Going wherever his wings were taking him.
As for Carl, he walked further away from the hospital into the city. “Just go home Carl.” He told himself. “You’re sober.”
“You didn’t do anything hurtful to her? Did you?!” A changeling grabbed the doctor who had walked out of Chrysalis’ operating room and shoved him into a wall. “Because if you did-”
Another changeling pulled him off the pony. “Just give it a break Rex.” She said. “The doc and the other ponies are helping her.”
The pony got up and adjusted himself. “Nice to see that some changelings have some sense around here.”
Rex was about to leap on him again, but his sister held him back. “Just... tell us how it wen't doc. Rex here is dying to know.” She said with a fake smile.
The doctor sighed. “Well, she’s getting better, but she must've hit that wall pretty hard for that many bones to shatter, a pony wouldn't even survive such a hit.”
“Because you’re all weak.” Rex whispered, making his sister punch him in the shoulder. “OW, Stacy!”
“Shut it Rex!” She turned back to the doctor. “Do you know when she’ll get better?”
The doctor shrugged. “I’m sure it will be soon, we ponies don’t know too much about changelings, but we are doing the best we can with our magic. Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll live through this.” The doctor nodded and walked away.
“Stupid pony, why don’t we just do it our way?” Rex asked.
Stacy rolled her eyes. “Because our way is rolling up a broken bone in slime. These ponies have magic that can really help us. Changelings don’t have very powerful magic, Rex.”
Rex rolled his eyes and walked away. “At least we’re stronger than them, weak little- OW!”
Stacy punched him again and walked beside him. “Just put a sock in it and help the others Rex, not all ponies know the anatomy of a changelings.”
Rex groaned and walked toward the waiting room. “Wish they would just-”
*SMACK*
Rex fell on the floor “OW! Will ya stop!” he sat up and rubbed his head. “Why’d ya do it on the head this time?”
“It wasn’t me Rex, it was...Stan?”
“Stan?” Rex looked up and saw a changeling all too familiar to him. “W-what?”
Stan spun around a bit and looked at the pair of changelings. “Oh...Heeeeeeey guys….how you doin’? How’s the rain?”
Rex got up and glared at him. “Well, if it isn’t the traitor”
“Rex…” Stacy put a hoof between him and Stan. “Don’t start this.”
“Yeah,” Stan nodded “Ya can’t stop what ya can’t start!” He spun around and pointed at them.
Rex growled. “Oh, I will start this.” He pushed past Stacy and stood inches away from Stan. “Do you know what you’ve done?”
“Hmmm?” Stan tilted his head. “Um, you’re gonna have to be a little bit specific on what I did. ‘cause, I’ve been doin’ a lot tonight, ‘cept for the princess, haven’t done her yet…”
“You know what I mean bug! You caused all this.” Rex grabbed Stan. “You made us look like cowards, just begging for others to help.”
“Rex…” Stacy crossed her hooves. “Stan didn’t do anything, he was the only one who wasn’t a caretaker, like us, and had to take the paper.” She walked up to him. “It was an order too. If anything, you should be blaming the queen.”
Rex let go of him. “Try telling that to the other changelings who hate it here, and the ponies.” Rex glared at him. “You are a traitor Stan. You are making a fool out of, not only yourself, but us too.”
Stan tilted his head. “How can I make fools? Do I use, like, tools or somethin’?”
Stacy chuckled. “Nice rhyme Stan, and Rex, will you take it easy on him? He just did what he had to for the swarm.”
“She’s right Rex…”
The trio of changelings turned around and saw the door to Chrysie’s room wide open, with the queen standing at the doorway, leaning on a pole with and bag of fluids connected to her. “He did what was right.”
Rex and Stacy did their respectable bows while Stan fell on his face. “Queen,” Rex started. “I-I wasn’t-”
“Rex.” Chrysalis interrupted. “You need to realize that our kind is going through tough times, getting help is our only resort right now.”
“But it’s makes us look weak, you’re highness.” He continued bowing. “What if these ponies take advantage and-”
“They won’t,” Chrysalis said. “they will help us.”
Rex got up, as did Stacy. As for Stan, he raised his head and looked around in a daze. “How can you be sure, my queen?”
Chrysie sighed. “I’ll admit it child, I can’t, but I know these ponies are merciful, and I’m sure that they will help us. It is part of the treaty.”
Rex sneared. “Last I remember, the messenger dropped it in a puddle.” He craned his head toward Stan.
“Hey! That was the puddles fault.” Stan yelled. “How was I shupposed to know water would get in the way of my plans of getting into her bedroom.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Chrysalis interrupted. “We made another, and we still need to follow it. Understand?”
“Yes queen.” Rex and Stacy said.
“Probably, pretty sure, most likely, economy, surely, yes….Chrisie…” Stan smiled at his clever wording while the others stared at him in confusion.
“Are you alright Stan?” Chrysalis asked.
Stan scratched his ear “I think so, can I go now?”
Stacy rose up “That reminds me. Why are you here Stan?”
“Um…” Stan thought about that, he remembered coming here for a reason, but what was it, it had something to do with a friend, and going away, and going to…
Stan raised his hoof in the air. “OH OH. I remember, I came here to ask about Celestia.”
“The princess?” Chrysalis tilted her head.
“Yeah.” Stan nodded. “Is she here?”
The other changelings looked at each other. “Um...Why do you need to know?” Rex asked.
Stan scuffed his hoof on the ground and looked up. “Just to talk.”
“Well...um…She should be at her castle.” Chrysalis shrugged.
Stan rose in the air and smiled. “Then leave it to Stan!” He extended his wings and flew off.
*SMACK*
He got his face off the wall and yelled, “I’m okay!” He flew down another hall and made his way to an open window.
Chrysalis sighed. “Such a strange changeling, first he doesn’t want to go to the princess, now he needs to go to her.”
Rex nudged Stacy. “Maybe he has a crush on her.” He said with a smile.
“You ever...look up at the sky and wonder...why does it rain?”
Lift looked away from the street. “Um...what?”
Shift cleared his throat. “I-I mean, why? Why does it happen?”
“Um, the windwalkers do that...right?”
“Yeah, but why?” Shift looked up at the rain as they continued walking. “How is it that a cloud get’s all rainy in the first place anyway?”
Lift shrugged and held his hoof out in the rain. “Maybe they’re all like that to begin with.”
“Then how do they come back?” Shift took a tip from his beer bottle. “Do the stickhead’s help them or...what?”
“Beat’s me man, these ponies work in weird ways.”
Shift rubbed his chin. “I know what you mean, I can never understand them, all this magic and money system and eating that weird food, and you know what bugs me the most?...no pun intended.”
Lift snickered and asked, “What? Nice pun by the way.”
Shift stood up “It’s how they get into song so quickly.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, I know our queen did it, but how was it that ponies can automatically know lyrics to a song and sing it in a group. I mean, it takes a while for us to learn songs with lyrics, how come they can do it so fast?”
Lift shrugged again, he was starting to not care about this conversation. “Perhaps they sing a lot and just know them by heart.”
“You know what.” Shift stopped walking and faced his brother. “I’m sure that if me and you went around singin’ something, those ponies would automatically start singing along with us.”
Lift rolled his eyes. “Like they would want to sing with us, we don’t even do that kind of stuff Shift. We just scratch a record and play music while our eyes do the rest.”
Shift thought about this. “Why don’t we test it?”
“Test?”
“Yeah.” Shift leaned on him. “If me and you can memorize a song and sing it out in the open, I’m sure some of these ponies will join in.”
Lift wasn’t too sure about his brothers plan. “Ehh...I dunno, what song do you have in mind?”
Shift adjusted his fedora and smiled. “I’ll think of somethin’.” He continued walking, with Lift following.
“Will it involve the use of explosives?”
“Nope, not a fire show.”
“Microphones.”
“Of course?”
“Hmmm...Rapping?”
“Nah, but it will rhyme though.”
“...What kind of music?”
Shift sighed. “Look, how about I just tell you, it’s...Carl?”
“Carl?” Lift laughed. “That’s a weird kind of music.”
Shift tapped his shoulder and pointed behind him. “Oh…” Lift said. “That Carl.”
Shift and Lift were trying to understand what a changeling like him was doing out in the rain like this, and more importantly, why was he without a Stan. “Ey Carl, where’s your boy toy?” Lift yelled with snickers following soon after.
But Carl didn’t respond, he just continued walking past them and continued going forward. “Um...Carl!?” Lift looked at Shift. “Is the rain really that loud?”
Shift smiled and craned his head toward the lone changelings, telling Lift they should pester him. Lift nodded and before they knew it, they were on both sides of him. “So Carl, mind tellin’ us why Stan left you?”
“...”
They waited for a response, but Carl wouldn’t budge, he continued looking down and walking forward.
“Um...hello? Cave to Carl, you come in?” Shift looked at Lift and shrugged.
Shift shook his head and decided to drop the jerk act. “Look uh...Carl, we're being kinda serious here, why ain’t ya with Stan?”
“He’s at the hospital.” Carl said blankly.
“So you did take him there.” Lift said happily. “He doin’ okay?”
“I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care…”
Shift and Lift stood back a bit once he said that. “Don’t care? Why not? He’s your friend.”
Carl stopped walking and faced them. “I don’t care! Okay, I’m tired, I’m wet, and I don’t want to have any more adventures with that so called hero! Okay?!”
The DJ's backed up and flinched. “Okay...geez, no need to yell.” They said together.
Carl breathed a hefty sigh and turned around and left the DJ’s to themselves. “Stan has been an absolute nuisance since the first time I met him.” He said to himself. Shift and Lift shrugged and decided to abandon him.
“What do you think’s his problem?” Lift asked.
“Probably having regrets for bangin’ that mare.” Shift chuckled and continued walking away.
After minutes of walking, Carl finally came to the front steps of his apartment, the one that he was thankful the landlord was generous enough to let him keep. “I just wanna go to bed, and forget this entire night.” He swung the door open, since it had no handle, and walked into the dark room. Without him realizing, the door shut itself, with a dark blue shadow dashing in.
Carl let the moonlight through the broken window shine in the living room, which was pretty much the entire apartment, nothing but a kitchen and bathroom. He had a bedroom, but he didn’t really care for it that much, he preferred the couch in this room.
Carl rubbed his temples. “I just hope he realizes that princesses don’t put out more then regular mares.” He walked to the side of his couch, which was his only means of sleeping, and flung himself on it, grabbing a blanket and covered himself. “I mean, who would even want to do it with a changeling any…*yawn* anyway.” He closed his eyes, just as another pair of white eyes opened right beside him.
“Still okay!” Stan yelled as he got his head out of a brick wall. This would be the fifth time he crashed, each one being more painful than the last, but in Stan’s current state, it was hard for him to realize he was in pain.
He flew in the air again and scanned the area. “Hu…no sun...glasses.” He snickered and flew in another direction, this time crashing into stairs.
“Uh...Oh...hello stair step, how are you and your brothers doing?” Stan waited for a response and nodded. “Ish cool, no need to not my heroismalism, because I get all the biyaaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” He fell over and tumbled down one step, landing on the pavement head first.
Stan immediately stood up and faced the stairs. “Oh! It’s like that hu? Well screwdriver you, Mr. staircases, and hammer the rest of your family. I can get to misses and mistresses sunny bunny butty with or without your help.” He shook his flank at it and hovered in the air.
“Now let’s shee…” Stan turned upside down and looked at the top of the stairs to the castle. “Where to go…I could go straight in, but a changeling like me has stander’s, I gotta find a pole light, and come up with a plan...wait...Didn’t I do that already.”
Stan flew upright and pondered on how to get to Celestia. “Wait...If I bring her to me...no...If I lure her with...no, that’s the same thing...go to her diversely...hmmm.” Stan started flying to the front doors.
“Maybe if I bring give her a present…yeah...Yeah! That’ll work! What should I get her though?” He turned around once he made it to the doors. “Well, it’s gotta be somethin’ that requires the both of ush...and...it needs to be good for both of us...and...uh, it needs to be very valuable too.” He backed up into the doors and opened them.
“Then maybe I could find a...whoa.” Stan spun around multiple times to get a look at the room. “Yesh, this place is huge. It’s gonna take forever to find her, and even longer to find a present.” Stan’s eyes glanced at another door that read-
“Deere rum...Well, deer isn’t really what I want right now, but I know what rum iz, that was like the…” Stan patted his hoof a couple times. “tenth thing I drank once I won and beat mr light in the faaaaaaaaaaaaceze.” Stan tumbled into the dining room and face planted on a table.
“Gah! What, you’re in on it too misure table, well wee wee to you!” He twirled his fake mustache and turned around.
He then fell into a pair of swinging doors, which then led to sounds of pots, pans, glasses, plates, and other dishes were heard seconds later.
“Uuuuunnnngh...ouchie...that one hurt…” Stan popped out of the pile of dishes that were scattered around the area. He noticed this and frowned. “Aw man, even the dishes have it out for me.” He walked over the dishes and opened a nearby fridge. “Hmmm, I wonder if….hu?”
Stan’s eyes glanced at a bottle, it was bigger than the other ones he drank from, and it was purple too, with a weird brown thing on the tip instead of a bottle cap. “Whoahahahoho, now this is a beer bottle, this is the perfect gift, now I need to-”
“FREEZE!”
Stan’s ear stems went into attention. “Freeze? Hey, Mr. bottle, I don’t need to-”
“Put the bottle down, changeling!”
Stan continued holding the bottle and turned around. “Hey, I have a name...you...Oh, hey...I remember you, didn’t I almost kill yo-”
“Ooooowwwie...What was that for?” Stan rubbed his head and looked up to see a guard holding a frying pan with a dropped jaw.
The pony started shaking. “H-how are you-”
“PrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrIVATE! You need to hit harder!” Stan and the guard looked straight ahead to see an older pony glaring at them.
The private tightened his grip on the pan. “O-okay captain.” He raised it in the air and hit Stan again.
*CLANG*
“Gah...What’s your problem? I’m just getting a-”
*CLANG*
“Do you really have to hit so ha-”
*CLANG*
“Is...is it bedtime yet?...”
*CLANG*
The captain groaned and snatched the pan out of the privates hooves. “You’re doing all wrong son, it’s like this.” He raised it in the air and plunged it down to the changelings head, making sure to make the creature unconscious.
“Wha?” He was abruptly stopped by something else grabbing onto it, both ponies looked down at the changeling to see that it grabbed the pan while its face was down.
“H-how can he…” the captain couldn’t finish his sentence, the pan he had held onto smacked him in the face and tumbled him back.
“C-captain!” The private watched in horror as the guard fell to the floor with his eyes in a daze.
The captain raised his head and said. “P-permission to go to bed sir?” His head hit the floor again and he passed out.
“C-captain…” The private looked away from his high ranking officer and looked back at the changeling. He nearly fell over once he saw it stand up with it’s head hung low.
“Well look who it is…” The bug slowly raised its head and smiled at the private. “Another trespasser it seems.”
“Trespasser? Me? You’re the one wh-who..who…” The private started backing up once he looked at the changelings eyes, they glowed bright red, and its teeth were snarling right at him. “W-what the…”
“And to think I only had to kill one today…” The changeling chuckled. “How lucky for me.” It took a step forward, and with every one, the pony took a step back.
“Uh...u-uh...S-stop in the...i-in the name of..e-equestrian law?” The private started shaking, he saw changelings before during the invasion, but he didn’t know they could look this...scary.
Stan continued stepping forward. He twirled the bottle in his hooves before shoving it into one of the holes in his hooves. He then glanced over to a door and looked back at the private. “Look’s like I’m gonna have to make do, like the queen always says…” Stan ran over to his right, making the private yelp, and smashed through the closet door. “Don’t stop killin’ when they don’t stop strugglin’”
“Okay changeling….Y-you made your point...so…uh.” The private looked in all directions until his eyes spotted the double doors. “At least I can escape if this get’s out of hoof.
“Who says you’re gonna be escaping?” The private turned around and gasped as the changeling came out with-
“Pretty sharp ey?” Stan twirled the fire ax in his hooves while still holding the wine glass in one of his holes. “Wanna see just how sharp it is?”
The private had enough, so he took a deep breath, raised his hoof in the air, held his head high...and ran away, screaming like a filly.
Stan just chuckled and shook his head as the pony ran. “I love it when they play hard to get.”
The private fell face first into to the door, he backed up in a daze and walked through it. He shook his head and pulled a wheel cart, a chair, a table, more chairs, another cart, a potted plant, and many other things he could find in the dining room to block the door. He stepped back to see if the changeling would make an effort to go through, but after a while, the private reassured himself that the changeling wouldn’t-
*SMASH*
The private looked to his right to see another door with a hole in it, curiosity got the best of him as he waked up to it to see the changeling standing on the other side, its red eyes looked as if they were looking into his soul. “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'SSTANLEY!” It then kicked the door down, sending the private to the other side of the room. The pony quickly got back on his hooves and looked at the deranged changeling one more time before running.
Stan cackled with laughter and held up his weapon of choice. Prepared to end the poor pony's life.
A guard in white looked up at the window “Six hours.”
The guard in red sighed and leaned on his spear. “Are you sure?”
The other pony to the side of him pointed at the moon. “If the moon is in that position, then I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be that long.”
“But it feels like its been there forever.” The red guard whined.
The white one rolled his eyes. “Just let Luna do her job, besides, it’s not like she wouldn’t move it without a reason.”
“I don’t see why the princess needs guards anyway. She’s pretty powerful, and so is her sister.” He pointed to the door of Celestia’s room. “Not to mention she raises the sun for a living!”
The other guard shushed him. “Hey, you wanna wake her up.” He whispered while looking at the door.
The pony in red did the same and grinded his teeth. He understood this. When you wake up a princess, you would need a very good reason, a very important reason, one that would require lives to be in danger, or world’s ending. So the red guard moved back to his position and straightened himself up. “It’s just so boring sitting here, you know, staring at a wall, looking up a ceiling, looking left and right to see...another guard?”
“Yeah.” The white nodded. “It does get kinda bor-”
*CLASH*
“Ow...what the- Private?”
The private continued to pant as he got off the guard. “S-sorry...j...just….guh….just...you know….hef...yeah…” The private fell to the floor and panted his head out while the guards looked at each other, then at him in confusion.
“What are you getting so worked up about private?” The pony in red asked. “And why are you not at your post?” He tapped his hoof.
“I...fugh...don’t have a...p-post…” Private tried getting up, he had never ran so fast in his life, even during practices he ran slower than this.
“No post?” The other guards looked at each other “Then why aren't you, I don’t know, sleeping?”
“He will be….”
The two guards and the private turned around to see a pair of red eyes in the distance. The guards raised an eye while the Private gulped. He then grabbed the red guards hoof and said, “H-he’s….blugh….he’s….not….himself…” He slowly started climbing up the pony untill he got on his own hooves. “I-It’s like….some sorta...sorta….thing…” He lazily hung his tongue out and continued panting.
The white guard rolled his eyes and faced forward. “Hey! You! Come out of the dark!”
White, sharp teeth appeared at the bottom of the red eyes as the figure started walking forward. The private hid behind the red guard while the two guards looked at each other again.
“Oh...you know us Darklings, can’t get away from the dark…” The figure finally came to view as it stepped into the moonlight shining through a window.
“What in the celestia’s mane are you holding changeling!” The red one questioned, tightening his grip on his spear.
The changeling smiled and brought up his weapon. “Oh nothing, just somethin’ I found lying around…” He shrugged and continued staring at them with bright red eyes.
The guards started getting a bit uncomfortable with how the bug was looking at them. “Listen changeling,” The white one said. “Either you state your business, or you answer to the princess.”
“Princess?” Stan’s eyes blinked green for a second before returning to red. “Oh, I don’t think your princess will stop me from ending, not only your lives,” He pointed his hoof, which had the wine bottle, to the private. “but his as well. Then, your pretty p-p-princess?” His eyes turned green again, but he shook his head and returned his eyes to red. “Your princess will be next…”
The guards were flabbergasted at what this changeling was saying. The white one whispered to his fellow guards, “I’m starting to think this one is intoxicated.”
“I-is that why his eyes are red?” The private asked as he continued to quiver in fear behind them.
The red guard shrugged. “Guess so. Why don’t you stay here private, while me and my friend here take care of this.”
The private nodded and backed away. “Alright changeling.” The white one yelled. “Either you come with us, or we wake up the princess.”
Stan’s eyes turned flashed green again. “So be it, you ponies,” He went into a combat stance. “Come and get me!”
Celestia read quietly in her bed. Her eyes skimmed the pages of every word until she turned the page, she was happy to know the guards were making as little noise as possible outside, she would always hear them go on and on about the silliest of conversations. She sighed placed a bookmark on the page she was reading and put the book away. Now she was ready to finally-
*SMASH*
“Changeling! Stop!”
“How are you still standing! I hit you like...four times with this thing.”
“Just put the broom down changeling!”
“It’s Darkling, and this is an ax! Not a broom!”
“Changeling, you’re drunk, just go home!”
“I will once I end you!”
Celestia raised her eyes toward the door, knowing full well that a fight was in progress. She sighed and walked to the door. “Look’s like another sleepless night for me.” She thought as she put a hoof on the nob.
*CRASH*
She quickly backed up once a changeling busted through her door with a wine bottle in one hoof and a broom in the other. The changeling groaned and quickly got back on his hooves, glancing left and right outside the door.
“Come on! COME ON! Just try and see if you can take me on!” The changeling pointed the broom to the group of guards and snarled at them.
As for the guards, they smiled smugly crossed their arms. The changeling growled. “What the hive are you smiling at?”
The private peaked through the doorway and pointed behind the changeling. “Um, I think you should surrender now.”
the changeling rolled his red eyes and dropped the broom. “Oh what?” He crossed his hooves and turned around. “What could possibly do to try and stop…me...”
His eyes shot open and the redness in them started going away once he gazed at the sight of the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, he dropped his jaw and looked up to see the face of this wondrous creature. Stan’s eyes went back to greenish blue and his mouth turned right side up. Knowing that this alicorn will forever bring him joy in this land.
His love smiled back at him and with a voice ever so soft said, “So, you must be the so called intruder? Mind telling me why you’re here?”
“Hmmmmnnyes….right there….right on...yeah...like that….W-w-w-wait….left...more to the right...yeah….”
Celestia and the three guards looked at each other as the changeling continued to talk in his sleep. It’s only been a couple minutes and they were still having a tough time getting the changeling to wake up. “I don’t get it.” The private said. “When me and the captain were trying to capture him, we hit him like….four times with a frying pan, and even still he didn’t pass out.”
Celestia gasped. “You hit him with a frying pan?!” She walked up to the private. “Why would you do that?”
Private almost yelped like a colt as Celestia looked down at him with an expression of pure seriousness. “Um….we...uh...the captain and I just...couldn’t find any other way to...detain him. So we just...you know.” The more he talked, the more he sunk to the ground.
Celestia sighed. “What is it with this pony? He’s as scared as that changeling was.” She shook her head. “It’s fine.” Celestia looked back at the changeling. “What was he doing?”
The private started shaking. “He...We found him in the kitchen, me and the captain thought that...he was stealing food or something...h-he even has something he took from the kitchen in his hooves.” The private pointed at the changeling’s hoof.
Celestia turned and saw that the bug was carrying a bottle of wine in of the holes in his hoof. She raised and eye and looked back at the other guards. “And what is your story on the matter?”
The red and white guards looked at each other and shrugged. “We just saw the private charging down the hall and crashing into my partner here.” The red one said.
“And after that,” The white one said. “this changeling comes at us with a broom in his hooves and eyes that were red.”
“Red eyes?” Celestia as surprised to hear that. Changelings only have light blue eyes, or were they regular blue, or aqua...aqua marine?
“So...uh...what do we do with him?” The private asked, with his still quivering body on the floor.
Celestia looked back at the changeling, he was sprawled on her bed with his tongue lazily hanging out with a bit of drool,and his arm resting on his chest with the wine bottle still in his grasp.
The princess smiled. “I will talk to him, you three go back to your posts.”
“But I don’t have a-”
The white guard nudged the private out the door. “Just do as she says private.”
And with a slam of the door, the princess was left alone with the changeling, all to herself. She gave a final sigh and placed her hooves next to him. “Oh changeling...Time to wake up..” She whispered.
“But maaaaawwwm...It’s satur...day?” Stan slowly opened his eyes. Which then turned into very wide eyes once he saw….her~
“So, now that you’re awake, do you mind telling me-”
Celestia was interrupted by Stan immediately jumping in the air and flying above her. “YES! Finally I have arrived, my quest can finally be complete!”
He continued to fly in circles while Celestia backed away from him. “Changeling?” She asked. “What are you-”
Stan came face to face with her and held his hooves to his chest “Madam, you see. I am bursting with love, so much that my chest could explode at any moment.”
“What?!” Celestia wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not, could a changeling take too much love and die from it?
“Yes, for you see, Miss Sunny, I have been watching many things from afar, most of them being only a few hooves away from me, but the one thing that I was able to see farther than that was…” He grabbed the sides of her face. “You…” He leaned in and planted his lips firmly on her’s.
Celestia reacted with wide eyes and wings that immediately flung open. She then pushed him away with her magic, sending him flying across the room and hitting a book shelf, making it fall on top of him.
The princess spit on the ground and wiped her face off with her hoof. “*cough* bleh..wha? Why did you just-”
Stan popped his head out of the pile of books and yelled, “The first kiss of many!” He ran at her full speed.
Celestia yelped and stepped out of the way in time for Stan to faceplant on the wall. “Changeling, control yourself!”
Stan turned around and gave her bedroom eyes. “Can we just snuggle this out in matters of the smexual kind?”
Celestia tired her best to take this situation calmly, she knew this changeling was drunk, she could taste the liquor when he kissed her, but the more he talked, the more she wanted to throw this insect out the window. “Changeling, may we start from the beginning?”
“Beginning?...Okay, hello, my name is Stan, and my wings are tired.”
“Stan!...As in, the changeling who delivered the treaty?” Celestia couldn't understand any of this, last time she remembered, this changeling was afraid of her, so why was he acting like he...loved her.
Stan scratched his head for a moment. “Um...I think so, I remember delivering mail at one point in my life, and also eating some weird sandwich too.” He smacked his lips and stared off into the distance. “Very tasty…”
Celestia took hold of him by her magic. “Stan, I don’t understand, what are you doing here, and more importantly, why did you kiss me?” Celestia didn’t mind the kiss, she had worse one's a long time ago.
Stan shook his head out of the thoughts of sandwiches and looked back at her with dreamy eyes. “Hey princess, did I ever tell you how my eyes are in no way related to yours, since mine are like...blue and stuff.”
“Actually Stan, your eyes are slightly green right now, is that because you’re drunk?” Celestia was starting to put the pieces together.
“Drunk? What is with others telling me I play basketball, I play football, and rugby if I’m bored.”
“No Stan, Drunk, have you been drinking tonight?” She hopped that he had enough common sense to answer correctly.
“Drinking?” Stan had to think about that for a millisecond. “Why yes I have, and we are gonna drink more with the surprise I got you.” He reached behind his back and pulled out a wine bottle that was still stuck in the hole of his hoof. “Tada! Can we do it now?”
Celestia pulled the wine bottle out and inspected it. “Wine? Why did you grab this?”
Stan shrugged. “Well, where else was I supposed to get it, bits are overrated, I still don’t understand how ponies have that system stuff.”
Celestia sighed and set Stan down. “Listen, Stan, you need to go home.”
“Home? But you are my home, why would I need to go anywhere else.” Stan grinned and climbed on her bed. “And the night is still full of time, so we have a lot of it to muck around with.”
Celestia shook her head. “There’s a time and a place for mucking around Stan, but not right now.”
“But I don’t wanna muck. I wanna do stuff that involve using that bottle for drinking.” Stan ran up to her and snatched the bottle out of her grip. “Don’t you wanna do the same?”
Celestia gazed at the bottle of wine, she couldn’t remember the last time she had a drink. “Stan, I’m sorry, but I haven’t had a drink like this in a long time.”
“So then now would be the perfect time to do so...right?” Stan smiled at her and tilted his head.
“Listen to me Stan, the princess of Equestria can’t drink, she has many duties that she must do, and if she went back to drinking then-”
“So you have done drinks before, when was the last time?” Stan started pulling on the cork of the bottle while Celestia was starting to reminisce of the old times
“Long before you were born, I’m sure.”
“So then...why...not..grrr….what is with this bottle?” He grunted and continued trying to pull on it, destined to get the liquid out.
Celestia smiled at the sight “I’m afraid it will take a lot more than-”
*POP*
“Got it!”
The cork darted around the room before hitting Celestia in the back of the head. She yelped again and rubbed where the cork had hit. “Stan, you need to be more careful.”
Stan ignored what she said and hoisted the bottle in the air. “A piece of bread for the newly found couple.” He was about to take a sip, but Celestia quickly stopped him.
“You can’t just drink straight from the bottle Stan, in fact, you shouldn’t drink any of this, this is...is…” She held the bottle close to her nose once she got a scent for the wine. It started with a couple sniffs, which then turned into a big inhale. She sighed happily. “Good old number forty nine…”
Stan scratched his head. “Is forty nine a letter or something?”
Celestia stopped inhaling and blushed. “Oh...um...I-It’s nothing Stan, I was just...remembering.” She looked back at the still open bottle.
Stan appeared right behind her and glanced around her shoulder. “Remember what? Where the bottle was? It was in the fridge Miss Sunziez.”
Celestia chuckled. “No changeling, was longer than that...I’m remembering...very...calm and...relaxing...memories…” She smiled at the bottle. She was almost tempted to drink from it, but she knew she couldn’t.
“Well…” Stan took the bottle again. “If you wanna have more remembers and stuff, take one of those swings. I would do it, but you know what they say, the females are always the first to go skinny dipping.”
Celestia started intently at the bottle and bit her bottom lip. This Changeling had broken into her room and kissed her, and now he wanted her to go back to drinking? She was tempted to bring the guards back inside, but the scent from the bottle... It reminded her too much of the good old days.
She put on her best poker face and looked back at the changeling. “Stan.”
“Yes?” He asked dreamily.
Celestia shifted her eyes and whispered, “Wait here.” Within seconds her whole body disappeared.
Stan gasped and looked around in bewilderment, he spun around a couple times until he saw her again with a pair of wine glasses. “Celly! You came back for me…”
Celestia grabbed the bottle. “Stan, listen, what I’m going to do right now is something no one else should know about, especially my sister. She’ll kill me if she finds out about this.”
“That seems pretty harsh.” Stan grimaced. “Wait, what am I secreting again?”
Celestia poured the wine into a glass, she went wide eyed once she finally saw the dark purple liquid swarm around it. “This…” She pressed her lips against the side and took a sip, which turned into a gulp, which then turned into a chug.
Stan dropped his jaw as the princess held her head back and finished the rest of the wine. “Um...princess?”
Celestia finished the rest of it and flung her head back down. She breathed for a bit and closed her eyes. “That is the taste I remember…”
“Didn’t you already remember a bunch of stuff?” Stan reeled his head back as Celestia gave him the wine glass.
“Stan, I’d like to thank you for this.” She poured another glass and continued drinking.
“Um...thanks for what?” Stan’s drunk mind was starting to burn out and his eyes were starting to turn more blue.
“Oh...this takes me back, from all those times at the ball.” She took another swig and finished her drink again.
“Ball?” Stan rubbed his head and closed his eyes. “What...what ball?”
“Back when I was young, had so many things ahead of life…” Stan opened his eyes again and saw that she was still drinking.
“Um...princess...I...I think that...um...oh, man what happened…” Stan rubbed his head. memories of what happened hours ago were starting to go away.
“Back when all the stress was lost, and replaced with pleasure.” She dropped the glass on the floor and started drinking from the bottle instead.
“Lost it...lost...losing...ugh...what?” Stan shook his head and looked back up at Celestia, he head was now hung back and the bottle was almost out of wine.
After a few seconds she hung her head down and dropped the bottle. “If only I could experience that life again…”
“Where...where am I?” Stan finally came to his senses and took a look around.
“Maybe...maybe you can help me.” Celestia looked up at him and smiled.
“Help? Princess, what are you doing in my...wait...this is your room.” Stan spun around a few times, still trying to figure out what was happening.
Celestia stopped him from spinning and made him face here. “I’ve never told many this...but princess’s could call on royal guards for certain...things.” She smiled and wrapped an arm around Stan.
“Thing...thingamajigs?” Stan was more confused then ever, why was he with the princess, and what happened last...wait, was it still night time.
“I’m sure you can play guard tonight...right?” Celestia asked, now in a fully drunk tone.
“Play...I..I can’t do plays…I’m I’ not a very good...good...” Stan was starting to drift off. One half of his mind was telling him that now would be a good time to sleep, but another half was telling him to stay awake, but why?
He was immediately answered by three words uttered by the princess.
Stan lazily opened his eyes. He would’ve stood up, but his entire body, especially his head, was in pain. “Oooooohwaah...whugh…” With all his strength, Stan lifted his front hoof and rubbed his eyes, he heard jingling in the distance doing so. “Who’s singing jingles in my place...wha-hu?”
He looked down to see something tied to his bottom left hoof. “Rope? What are you doing tied to the floor?” He looked up and saw that he was inches away from the ceiling. “Is the room really that small?” He looked down again and started getting the picture. “Or am I getting big?”
In reality, Stan was hanging upside down with rope tied in one of his holes in his legs. He grunted and made a reach for it, only for it to snap and make him fall to the floor. More moans of agony escaped his mouth . “Owie...who messed with the gravity...oh wait...Am I on the floor?”
He looked up again to see the rest of the rope dangling from the ceiling. He shrugged. “Seems like it. Now to just…” He started getting on his hooves, hearing more sounds of jingling. “What is with these bells, why can’t they just...just...what the…” He looked at his right hoof and saw a metal ring attached to it, with a small chain hooking up to another ring that was open.
“Hoofcuffs? Did I get arrested?” He looked up to see if there were bars surrounding him, but what he saw was even weirder. “What in Chrysie’s strands of dead hair…”
The first thing he saw was a bed, which also had rope on it, and on the floor their laid a bullwhip that looked used. “Did I herd cattle too?” He looked around the floor and noticed a whip. "Why would you need multiple whips attached to one, that's overkill to control animals." He then looked to his left at a mirror and saw his own reflection, he yelped once he got a good look at himself.
“What's with the collar now? And why am I half pony?” He saw that his face and the top part of his chest was white like a ponies coat. He put on a deadpan face and, with a flash of green, turned back into a regular changeling. “Must’ve impersonated someone…”
He walked up to the mirror, doing so made him cringe. “Gah, what is with my back legs, it’s like someone pounded my waist or something.” He ignored the pain and looked at the mirror.
“Why would you need spikes for this thing anyway?” He looked down and touched his neck to feel the spiked collar around it, with a small black string attached. “Was I impersonating a pet or something? What the heck happened last….oh my…”
He looked up at the mirror to see something behind him, something that made him not want to look back in fear that it was true. He gulped and decided to take a peek, only to see that the mirror was correct in it’s reflecting.
“Celestia?” He started walking up to the princess. She was sleeping soundly with a blindfold on and a pile of wine bottles next to her. “Wine, did she...oh Chrysie, did I get her drunk?” Stan started panicking. “This is her room, isn’t it?”
He looked closer and saw something else that was around her neck. “Who puts a red ball on a collar?” Stan thought to himself. He ignored it and looked at the rest of the princess. “Her body looks bruised, mostly from her flank...d-did I…” Stan backed away from her. “I fought her, didn't I!?”
“This is bad…” She was sprawled out on the floor with a pillow under her head. and her wings were tied up with rope. “What’s with all this rope?” He shook his head and looked behind the princess to see more items.
“Huh...that is one weird colored horn,” He thought. He looked further and saw more “and that’s and even weirder one. Strange how it’s strapped on to a really thin pair of pants, and what's this?” He grunted as he made his way to the side of the princess and picked up another strange, tube like object. “Looks like...something you...use to...get milk out of udders or something?” He continued turning it around“Ponies make the weirdest of things…” He said out loud.
“Hhhhmmmmhh?”
Stan dropped the tube and looked at the princess. She was starting to rise up and beginning to stretch. “Oh no.” Stan thought. “I...I gotta get out of here, she’ll kill me if she realizes I took a nap in her room, and even left a mess here too, and seeing bruises on her!”
He looked around the room and saw an open window, he looked back at the princess one more time and made a dash for it, even though the pain in his lower body wanted him to stop, he kept going and leaped out. He closed his eyes and hoped that his wings were in better shape than him, luckily they flapped in the wind. He took one more look behind him and bit his lower lip. “I hope she has enough mercy to forgive whoever makes messes, and leaves injuries.” he grimaced and continued flying. He scanned the area for the first thing he could think of. “I gotta find Carl.”
Meanwhile, Celestia took off blindfold and opened her eyes. “Hm?” She took a look around and gasped. “Oh no.” She whispered. “Not again…”
Shift patted Lift’s head and said. “I know exactly what we’re doing, brother.”
“Oh really?” Lift crossed his arms and sat down on the hard pavement as other ponies walked past them. “So tell me why we’re getting up at eight in the morning to do this, that’s really early for us.”
Shift chuckled. “Quit bein’ such an anti early bird. Besides, dis is gonna be good.”
“How…?” Lift asked in a deadpan tone. “How is getting up early and singing good?”
Shift took a big inhale. “Um…well...uh...singing is fun.”
“How…” Lift asked again in the same tone.
“Um…cause you can dance.”
“And how is dancing fun?”
Shift groaned. “Stop being a downer and just help me with this.” He took off his fedora and hit Lift over the head with it.
Lift growled and smacked Shifts hat away from him. “Ya know, it’s kinda ironic.”
Shift put his hat back on. “How?”
“Well, with you wearing that hat, and the song about bein’ happy-”
Shift used his hoof to smack Lift instead this time. “Just because I wear a fedora don’t mean I got that euphoria stuff.” He tipped his fedora in a mocking manner as he said that. Other ponies on the street gave strange looks toward them, but then continued on with their daily lives.
“I was just kidding,” Lift reassured him. “look, how do we start this?”
“Simple. We just go out in the open, and sing.” He smiled.
“Just sing...no music?” Lift was starting to doubt this plan even more.
“Oh don’t worry, if my hypnosis is correct-”
“You mean hypothesis…”
“Whatever, look, if we just go out there and sing, the music will play in the background.”
Now Lift knew this plan was ludacris. “How does that even work?”
Shift stood up and tipped his fedora again “Just watch.” He grabbed Lift’s hoof and hoisted him up. “And see how my idea comes to life.”
“Alright, fine. Show me the ways, oh master of euphoria.”
Shift glared at him and Lift just smiled. “Ha ha…” Shift said sarcastically. Then he cleared his throat and started tapping his hoof, which somehow created a tune in the distance. Others started hearing it, but Lift seemed to be the only one that was concerned.
“Uh Shift, you hear that?”
“It might seem crazy what I’m about to say~” Shift started doing a small dance routine.
“Uh Shift, this is freaking me out…”
“Sunshine she’s here, you can take a break~” Other’s were starting to crowd around behind him. tapping their hooves and smiling just like Shift
“Okay man, seriously, this is creepy.”
“I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space” Lift looked behind his brother to see that others were starting to dance like him.
“Shift...really...stop.”
“With the air, like I don’t care baby by that way~” Then Shift started walking, as did the others.
At that point, Lift was starting to feel the beat too, so much that he didn’t care what was happening. So he shrugged his shoulders and got beside Shift. “Ah screw it…”
“I’m not happy right now…” Stan landed on the sidewalk and got his footing. “Gah...what is with my legs.” He turned his head to the apartments and sighed. “Hopefully Carl knows what's going on. Last I remember I was with him before I...I...went somewhere or…” Stan held his head and groaned. “Forget it.”
He took the first step, only for a pony to bump into him. “Oh..sorry cha- Uh…”
“What?” Stan looked at him in annoyance. Treaty or not, he still wasn’t very keen on making friends.
“Um...No offence, but, is there a reason why you’re wearing that in public?”
Stan looked over himself and saw that he still had the spiked collar and hoofcuffs on him. He shrugged. “I just wanna...show...other sides of me.” Admittedly, he had no idea why he had these on him in the first place.
The pony continued giving him weird looks. “O...kay then...I’m gonna...keep walking.” With that the pony continued walking past him.
Stan raised an eye. “Maybe ponies have their own sense of fashion.” He lifted his hoof and looked at the hoofcuffs. “I need to get these off.” He looked back up at the apartments. “Maybe Carl has the keys.”
He walked to the first step and groaned. “Stupid legs, is something wrong with my pelvis or something?” He shrugged it off and made it to Carl’s door. He knew it was his since it was the only one with a broken door, surprisingly the door was slightly open.
“Weird, Carl always props something against it.” He sighed. Knowing most of these things he was seeing and the questions he was asking would never be understood, nor answered. With a deep breath, he pushed opened the door.
“Carl? Ya in here? I need to talk to...whoa…” Stan looked across the room and saw the back of Carl’s couch, which had the leg of a changeling dangling on the foot of it. “Still asleep?”
He walked up and put his hooves on the top of it. He smiled and decided that surprising Carl would cheer him up, with all the weirdness that was going on and such.
“Oh Carl, time to wake...WHAT THE!?” Stan reeled back in shock once he looked at Carl’s face. It was completely covered in blue kiss marks, and some that were traveling down his neck, he could only guess that more were under the covers, what surprised him more was a note that was taped to his flank.
Stan tilted his head and grabbed it, revealing another kiss mark under it. He ignored that and held it up to his eyes. “What’s this say?”
To my lovely changeling,
Couldn’t help but come back for seconds.
Hope you had enough to eat.
Come back if you want dessert.
Love. Miss Moon.
Stan dropped the paper on the ground. “C-Carl?” He ran around the couch and came within inches away from Carl’s face. “CARL!”
Carl immediately rose his hoof’s and head in the air, punching Stan while doing so. “I said I’m full! Wha…” Stan looked down at the floor and gasped. “S-Stan?!”
Stan groaned and rubbed his head. “Yeah...It’s me, and since when can you hit this hard.”
“Ever since you got drunk, W-wait...Why aren't you at the hospital?” Carl sat up and held his blanket, covering his chest and waist.
“Hospital? Why would I be-”
“Because I brought you there to...uh...what’s with the collar?”
Stan adjusted his collar and looked away. “Uh...w-what's with the lipstick?”
“Lipstick? What lip-”
Stan grabbed the note from the floor and threw it at Carl. “Maybe this might explain it, and who is this ‘Miss Moon?’”
“M-Moon…” Carl looked at the paper and dropped his jaw once he read everything. “W-n..I...but...wha...guh….It wasn’t a dream…”
“Well?” Stan tapped his hoof impatiently, wanting to know what was with this note and what Carl’s kiss marks were all about.
“Um….H-how about you tell me why you...have hoofcuffs on.” Carl pointed at the cuffs. Stan brought them to eye level and remembered something.
“Do you have the keys for it?” Stan asked.
“Why would I have the keys?” Carl crossed his hooves. “I don’t even remember you having hoofcuffs on when I dropped you off at the hospital.”
Stan glared at him. “Well Carl, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about!” He yelled. “I don’t even remember going to the hospital!”
“Y-you don't?” Carl scratched his chin and thought for a moment before remembering “Oh yeah, that’s right.”
“What’s right?” Stan grabbed Carl’s throat and ground his teeth. “Carl...What happened last night?”
Carl gagged and grabbed his friends hooves. “Why..dagh..don’t you tack..take a seat!” He swung Stan next to him on the couch and caught a breath of air. “Look...Stan, I might not know why you have that stuff on you, but besides that, I know what happened.”
Stan continued glaring at him. “Tell. Me. Everything.”
Carl was too tired to be fazed at Stan’s dark tone of voice. “Alright.” He said. “How about I start from the beginning…Like most stories.”
“And then I dropped you off at the hospital, walked out without you, and went home. That’s all I know.”
Stan continued sitting on Carl’s couch with his mouth hung open. His mind was having a tough time understanding everything Carl told him. “A….all the-”
“Yep.” Carl nodded.
“A...and El Disco-”
“Uh hu…”
“And the fight-”
“Did happen.”
“And...that poster-”
“Ripped to shreds. You can thank me for that.”
“...thank you?….” Stan slowly turned his gaze to Carl. “THANK YOU?! Carl, you basically left me for dead almost three times that night!”
Carl held his blanket and back up to the foot of his couch. “Hey! Don’t look at me Stan, you’re the one who wanted to go on a drinking spree, and all I wanted to do was show you a good time.”
“By almost getting me killed!” Stan yelled and hovered over Carl.
“No, by showing you that getting drunk is...well...a good thing to...experience.”
Stan grinded his teeth. “A good experience?…Carl….from what you’ve told me. It was the worst night that we-”
“Look, I’ll admit, it was…pretty bad,” Carl said without any reassurance. “but It could’ve been worse.”
“How...How could it of been worse?” Stan got off the couch and tapped his hoof, waiting for Carl to answer.
“Well...you could’ve died.” Carl shrugged.
Stan didn’t know whether to punch him in the face or the stomach when he said that, but he decided to do neither. He simply sighed and ask another question. “So you don’t know what happened once you left the hospital?”
Carl shook his head. “Nope, I just went straight home, not wanting to bother with whatever you would do next.”
Stan groaned and sat on the floor, this story was too much for him to take. “There is no way all of this could of happened.”
“Well it did, one way, or another, it did.” Carl stretched, still keeping the blanket on him.
“I just...wow…” Stan got up and sat next to Carl again. “All that happened over me getting drunk?”
“Beer does that,” Carl answered. “but I have never seen anyone act as crazy as you did.”
Stan shook his head and stared off. “Yeah, I mean, to just drink so much and...face another fear of yours and, beat up several ponies...it kinda makes me feel like...like a...a…”
“Hero?” Carl nudged him, but Stan shoved him away.
“No, like a crazy changeling who goes around and...just..acts like an idiot.”
Carl patted his back. “Well, you didn’t do that much, all you did was beat a drinking game, face El Discordtalantilo, beat up a bunch of ponies, and go to a hospital. Not much to be ashamed of.”
Stan shrugged him off. “I’m not...ashamed...I’m just...I just feel like an idiot for letting some weird drink get to me.”
Carl put his hooves behind his head. “Yeah, all it takes is one drink and then you’re off, or at least, that’s what it takes for a princess.” Carl clamped his mouth shut. Hoping that wouldn’t bring up the note.
“A princess?”
Carl shifted his eyes back and fourth. “Um...yeah, don’t you remember.”
“Very funny Carl.”
Carl panicked. “Um..what I meant was that...you had beer goggles for the mare.”
“So I found goggles too?” Stan continued having a deadpan face.
Carl facehoofed. “It’s an expression, meaning that you fell in love with her while you were drunk.”
“I know that Carl, and it still freaks me out,” Stan lifted his hoof and looked at the dangling cuff. “but that still doesn’t explain this though, or the collar.”
“Maybe you went to jail that night. I did that once.” Carl sat up on his couch with his blanket still covering his lower body.
“That’s the weird part Carl, I didn’t wake up in jail, I woke up in...well...”
“Where, a dumpster? I remembers doing that once too.”
“No…”
“In your apartment?”
Stan glared at him. “I don’t have one Carl.”
Carl tapped his chin. “Oh yeah, well, where did you wake up?”
Stan rubbed his arm. “I woke up...in...in...you wouldn’t believe me...”
“Stan, from what we’ve been through last night. I’ll believe whatever you-”
“I beat up Celestia.” Stan said quickly
Carl raised an eye. “Heheh...what?”
“You heard me.” Stan walked up to him. “I woke up in her room, with me being tied upside down, with all of this on me,” He pointed at his collar and cuffs while Carl’s lower jaw continued to drop. “and right on the floor, next to the bed with rope on it, laid the princess herself, with a blindfold on and some...weird collar with a red ball on it, and like...more rope, and bruise marks on her flank-”
“Stan.” Carl started breathing heavily.
“What?”
“D-do you really think you just...beat her up…?” Carl leaned up to his friend.
“Well, with the bruises and everything, it looks like I-”
“Stan, you didn’t hurt her...well, you did...but not in a bad way.”
Stan crossed his hooves. “How is hurting someone not a bad thing?”
“Because it...she was...you...it...how do I explain this…” Carl had a rough idea with what happened to Stan, he heard about this kind of stuff in his magazines.
Stan didn’t want to hear about this, it was bad enough that Carl knew about his antics, maybe he could ask something to make him even. His eyes spotted the note. “Well, why don’t you explain to me what all those marks on your face are supposed to be?”
“What?...Oh!” Carl blushed. “Um...I put them there.”
“All twelve of them...and even more trailing town your chest?”
“My chest?!” Carl looked down to see even more marks tailing down from his neck to his chest to his belly to his-
“Uh-Uh-Um I-I-I put those there too.” Carl smiled nervously.
Stan tilted his head. “Really? You expect me to believe that, especially with this note?” Stan picked up the note with his magic and shoved it in Carl’s face. “For all I know, you probably made up that part about leaving me at a hospital.”
“I-I didn’t-”
Stan walked up to him and narrowed his eyes. “You left me at the bar for some mare, didn’t you?”
“Yes...I mean! No. I...I…mean” Carl groaned. Knowing Stan would find out sooner or later. Since Carl knew something embarrassing about Stan, then maybe Stan should know as well “Look...do you promise to keep this between us?
Stan rolled his eyes. “Sure, since me, you, and anyone who saw us last night know about what happened.”
“Take it easy Stan. Look, what happened was that, when I was at the bar, I...I...you hear that?”
“Stop stalling and just…” Stan’s ear stem twitched. “Wait...yeah...I do,” He turned around. “sounds like somelings clopping their hooves out there.” Carl snicked, making Stan turn around. “What?” Stan asked.
Carl coughed “Oh...um...nothing. So, uh, what’s out there?” He pointed out his broken window.
Stan turned around and walked up to the glass, Carl was about to do the same, but when he took his blanket off, he gasped and quickly sat back down, still keeping the blanket around his waist. Stan turned around and raised an eye. “Carl, come on, look at this.”
Carl blushed. “Um...h-how about you go outside and look while I…clean up.” He grinned.
Stan raised an eye, then he shrugged. “Guess you’re right, no one likes seeing kiss marks like that.” He smiled and made his way out the door.
“Well it’s not like others like seeing your collar and cuffs!” Carl yelled as Stan walked out. Carl groaned and lifted the covers again. He blushed. “Great, now I need to wash my face, and this blanket…”
Shift and Lift continued to walk down the street and clop their hooves, unable to comprehend anything that was currently happening behind them.
Almost half the town was singing and dancing behind them, following the same dance they were doing, ponies were flying and others were waling out of their own homes just to join them. Normally, they would stop, but it was as if the music was getting to them, and the song itself was becoming too much to control
Lift continued “Guess you’re right Shift...they do go into song very easily, and this is a pretty nice song you picked out.”
Shift tapped Lift on the shoulder and spun him around. “Hold on, let me try something else, this’ll prove they know.”
Shift stopped walking and started tapping his hooves in a different rhythm. Tapping on the street and his own body, he then sung a new verse.
“Bring me down,
Can’t nothin’....bring me down”
Lift strangely started understanding and did the same actions as Shift was. He even added to the verse
“My levels to high!”
“Bring me down.
Can’t nothin’...bring me down.”
“Let me tell you now!”
The two changelings continued to repeat the same sentence, all the while, ponies, and some changelings as well, started doing the same actions as them while repeating “Happy.”
Shift and Lift would of stopped at that point and run, but with the rhythm of the song flowing through them, and their eyes starting to vibrate, causing their wubeyetis to kick in, They were no longer wanting to stop.
Stan tapped his hoof on the ground impatiently as he stood outside Carl’s apartment, waiting for his friend to get out.
“J-Just a sec...It’s really hard to rub these things out for some reason!” Carl looked back at his somehow non-cracked mirror and continued trying to rub out the kiss marks, each one of them continued to shine, no matter how hard he scrubbed with his rag.
“What...did she use glue in her lipstick or somthin’ ?” Carl mumbled.
“Look, if you don’t wanna come out, then...then…” Stan trailed off, and his constant tapping turned into one of rhythm. “What in queen’s name…” Immediately his wings took control of him and he flew off into the distance, leaving Carl alone in his bathroom.
“GrrrrrrAH! What will it take to...get...this...off?!” Carl threw the rag on the ground and plunged his head in the sink, just as his bathroom door quietly closed and pair of white eyes opened behind him.
Celestia quickly ran down the halls of the castle, zooming and dashing around every corner she came across. She even ran past guards standing in their positions, spinning them around multiple times before they regained their senses and tried to figure out what white blur decided to spin them. Celestia ignored this, and everything else as she ran, she just needed to get those glasses.
She finally reached her destination and took deep breaths. “It’s okay...he...he probably...hasn't...oh for my sake, he’d better not…” She looked at the door in front of her and knocked furiously. “Sister! I need your glasses. Sister?”
Celestia tapped her hoof impatiently. “Luna! This is very important!” Celestia groaned and decided to open the door herself. She was surprised to see that it wasn’t locked, but she didn’t have time to worry about that.
She opened the door and narrowed her eyes. “Sister, why didn’t...you...open…” Celestia walked in to see that Luna was staring off into space from her balcony. Celestia raised and eye and tapped her sister’s shoulder. “Luna?”
“Mhhhhhmhmhmh...Why don’t we just try doing this instead…” Luna smiled and looking around with her eyes glowing white while Celestia looked at her in confusion.
“...Sister?” Celestia waved a hoof in front of Luna’s face, but she remained unfazed by it and continued smiling. Tia could only guess that her sister was currently in someone’s dream, her eyes would get like that if she wasn’t angry, but from the sound of it, it didn’t feel right to her.
Luna hummed again and said, “Maybe if you were bigger then...oh...not in that way. silly bug…”
Celestia was starting to become concerned. So she decided to get her attention another way by-
*SMACK*
“NEAh...guy..ge...what?” Luna spun around in a daze before catching her balance. “Who dares interrupt my…Tia?”
Both sisters stared at each other for some time. Celestia decided to speak first. “Luna, what were you doing?”
Luna blushed. “Um...just...checking on dreams, you know how ponies are with their nightmares and problems and-”
“It’s the middle of the day sister.” Celestia stood taller and looked down at her sister. “Who would be sleeping at this time of day?”
Luna looked back and forth nervously. She could tell that Celestia knew she was exploring dreams, and with it being day time, it was hard to hide the fact that she was forcing others to fall asleep, especially a certain bug she met. “Well, some ponies are nocturnal, you never know who could...what are you wearing?”
Celestia looked down and blushed, realizing that she still had her red-balled collar around her neck. She quickly took it off with her magic and teleported it away. “Um...it was nothing, just...where are your red glasses?”
Now Luna raised an eye. “My glasses, why do you need to go out and about under a disguise, sister?” Secretly, Luna had no idea where her glasses were, she remembered wearing them when she went out last night, but when she woke up in her bed, they were gone.
Celestia bit her lower lip. “Um...Just to see…” She tried to come up with some excuse, she knew her sister would continue to ask why, and Celestia didn’t want anyone to know about what happened between her and that changeling. Then her ear twitched. “What that noise...is?”
“Noise? What noi...noise?” Luna looked outside her window, as did Celestia. “How in Equestria.”
Both of the sisters stood with dropped jaws to see a sight that didn’t normally happen, sure it did happen from time to time, but it was amazing at how organized it was.
“What in my mane?” Celestia gazed at the crowd of ponies singing and dancing in perfect formation, and up front stood two creatures who led the group.
“How did this happen, and why are they up front?” Luna pointed at a pair of changelings that were coming toward the castle, as were the huge groups of ponies. Both the sisters looked at each other, then back at the crowd.
“Perhaps we should...go and see what’s going on.” Celestia suggested.
Luna nodded and started walking out of her bedroom. Celestia took one more look at the crowd of dancing ponies and walked out as well. “How did they do it again?” Celestia asked herself. “I know it happens randomly for a small group, but half of Canterlot…”
Stan zoomed through the air, trying to figure out why his wings were acting like this, and why this weird tune wouldn’t get out of his head. It was starting to bother him. He turned around and tried to stop, but his wings wouldn’t let up, it wasn’t until he hit a tree that his wings finally stopped, he slid down and landed on a bush.
He rubbed his sides and groaned. “Ow…” He got up and looked at his transparent wings. “What is wrong with you two, why did you decide...to..try...How did I get to the castle already?”
Stan looked up at the large castle in front of him, wondering why his wings decided to take him here. He climbed out of the bush and looked around, seeing that he was in some sort of large garden. “This is all becoming too weird, first Carl tells me that I did so many crazy things last night, and now my wings have a mind of their own. What next, my hooves trying fighting a dragon?!”
“Fluttershy, come on, I was just trying to eat you!”
“Clop along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do...Come on~”
Shift and Lift looked up and yelped once they saw they were on top of the steps to the castle, and even more when they saw a huge crowd of ponies cheering at them.
“What happened?” Shift turned to Lift, hoping to get an answer from him.
Lift scratched his head and continued gazing at the sight of the hundreds of ponies “Um...I think we...I don’t know. I remember, you talkin’ about a plan or somthin’, and then we, got outside and…”
“Somthin’ about singin’...and dancin’.” Shift rubbed his head and groaned. “I swear Lift, the last thing I remember is wakin’ up and talkin’ to ya about...something.”
Lift patted his brother’s back. “I’m sure the crowd knows somthin’, right?”
Both changelings walked to the edge of the steps and raised their hooves, causing more massive screams that made them flop their ears. “Dis is louder than when the hatchlings cheered at us.” Shift screamed at his brother.
Lift and Shift cupped their mouths and yelled. “EY, CROWD OF PONIES!”
The whole crowd lowered their cheering mumbles. “Listen!” Shift yelled. “Uh...do any of ya know what happened?”
Louder sounds of mumbling were heard. Lift adjusted his throat and yelled, “What my brother means is, do you have an idea how we got here?”
More murmurs were heard, one pegasus flew up and said. “We were cheering at ya for something!”
“Yeah,” Another pony yelled. “it was, like, something about inspiration or something.”
“Nah, I don’t think that was is.” A stallion said. “It was as if we got caught up in something and joined you in...something.”
“Maybe it was a race!” A mare said.
“Or a march!”
“A song?”
“No. That’s too unoriginal!”
Lift and Shift clapped their hooves. “Hey!” Shift yelled. “Chilax guys, all we wanna know is why you guys are here, because I don’t think a bunch of ponies would follow us, unless it was an angry mob.”
“Are we an angry mob?” One pony asked.
“Wouldn’t we have pitchforks or something?”
“Nah, that’s too cliche.”
“You sang.”
The ponies went silent and Shift and Lift tilted their heads. “Sang?” Lift and Shift looked around. “Who said,”
“That we sing, me and Shift here don’t-”
“Ahem.”
The DJ's yelped and turned around. Seeing the the double doors to the castle were now open, and right in front of them stood two things that they never thought they would see this close. “Princesses?” Shift said.
“Wait,” Lift turned to his brother. “Ain’t it princesi?”
“Princesi?” Shift raised an eye and started forgetting about the all powerful alicorns right in front of them. “Why the heck would you say it like that?”
“Well, anything plural that ends with an ‘S’ means it needs to be an ‘I’ instead”
“Don’t you mean ‘A’ ‘S’ Since a word with a vowel at the beginning needs to have an ‘an’?”
Lift shook his head. “No, that just sounds stupid.”
“So is saying princesi.”
“No it ain’t”
“Yes it is.”
“No it ain’t!”
“Yes it is!”
“NO IT-”
“Changelings!” Both the brothers turned back to both princesses and yelped. “Can you tell us how you went into song and brought half of Canterlot with you?” Celestia raised her chin and waited for a response.
Shift and Lift looked at each other, then at Celestia. “Um...We went into song?” Lift asked.
“Oh, now I remember.” Shift turned back to his brother and smiled. “We were gonna see if we can get the whole town to get into song,” He turned to the princess. “No offence, but it kinda creeped us out how the ponies did this stuff, even our queen took a while to come up with her song.”
Lift stepped up to the alicorns. “Do you guys...I dunno, practice?”
Now Luna and Celestia looked at each other. “We’re...not sure either.” Luna scratched the back of her neck. “Even we don’t know how this happens.”
“Though, it seems you really pepped up the crowd.” Celestia pointed at the ponies, causing some of them to clap. “Maybe you could, do another?”
“Another?” Both Shift and Lift said. “Um...one sec.” Both of them walked to the edge of the steps again and went into a huddle.
“What do you think?” Shift asked.
“I dunno,” Lift shrugged. “you came up with the idea.”
“But I didn’t know it was gonna work.”
“Well, it did, so can you think of somethin’ else?”
Shift though for a moment. “I can think of some, but what do you think it should be about?”
“I dunno, should it be somthin’ funny?”
“Maybe, but the princesses look pretty serious, should we sing the same?”
Lift looked at the crowd, as did Shift. Most of the ponies were staring at them with eyes of happiness, while others were getting angry to realize changelings did something like this.
“Well, it’s gotta be something about all of this.” Lift suggested.
“All of what?” Shift raised an eye.
“I mean, about what’s been goin’ on, with the treaty and the ponies hating us the us hating the ponies.”
“You want us to sing somethin’ serious. We’re supposed to be the funny guys, Lift.”
“I know, but look at what’s been goin’ on, the posters about us, and ponies kicking us out of places, and some fighting others too, do you really want us to live like this, with others still hatin’ on us for wrecking their town, when we are trying to fix it?”
Shift started backing away from his brother. “Since when did you become inspirational?”
Lift rolled his eyes. “Come on man. I know we’re supposed to be the cool DJ’s with wavy eyes, but maybe we can make another mark on us. Make us look like hero's.”
Shift sighed and took another look at the ponies. His brother had a point, if they could make most of the town happy with a song, maybe they could fix all of the discrimination about them. “And I thought this was about a changeling gettin’ drunk.” Shift mumbled. He turned back to his brother. “Alright, we’ll do something serious, but we ain’t doin’ it alone.”
“What do ya mean?” Lift walked up to his brother. “Isn’t the crowd gonna-”
“They won’t be singing.” Shift turned to the princesses, knowing that this was probably one of the only chances they would get at having both changelings and ponies coming to their parties. “Um, can we fly to the hospital first? We need to get a chorus.”
Fluttershy shook her head again and continued walking away from him. She had been at this ever since last night when that changeling said all those mean things that Discord did, and the entire time, she thought all of it was true. “How do I know you’re not just trying to hypnotise me?”
Discord groaned, he tried explaining to her that he had never done anything that changeling had said, but he knew he would once he saw that bug, just not in front of her. “Listen, Shy, everything that bug said wasn’t true.”
“Are you sure? How do I know you don’t?” Fluttershy turned around and looked up at him with watered down eyes.
Discord looked down and did the same. “Of course I don’t, why would I even eat bugs? I doubt they taste that good anyway.”
Fluttershy gulped. “But you can eat anything, you even ate paper when-”
Discord flew next to Fluttershy and wrapped a tail around her. “But I don’t eat living things, I may sharp teeth, but that doesn’t mean I eat meat.”
Fluttershy meeped at the sight of his giant pointy tooth. She was never scared of it before, but from what that changeling said last night, she could swear that his tooth could bite through anything. “A-are you sure?”
Discord rose in the air with his tail still around Fluttershy. “I swear.” He held his bird claw to his chest and his paw in the air. “I would never harm any creature. Sure, I would make them think they were in danger or just flat out make them evil, but I would never hurt them.”
Fluttershy grimaced. “Um...okay…”
Meanwhile, Stan held onto the side of the tree harder than ever as the mutant goat was ready to clamp his jaw around the mare, and made way for his prey.
“Nice rhyme.” Stan said out loud, which then led him to clamping his big mouth shut seconds later.
“Hmm?” Fluttershy turned to the tree Stan was behind, and she could tell he was behind it. Transparent or not, wings were pretty easy to see when they stick out of trees. “Why is a...wait…” She tapped her chin while Discord looked where she was looking.
“What is it?” Discord didn’t notice the pair of blue, bug like, wings protruding out of the sides of the nearby tree.
Fluttershy then climbed out of Discord’s tail and made her way to Stan’s hiding spot. “Let’s see if your right then Dissy.” She cleared her throat and stood by the tree. “Um..excuse me, Mr. changeling?”
Stan’s heart never skipped so many beats once Discordalantilo’s prey called out for him. He knew this was a trick, but how did that monster know that Stan was behind this-
“Um...I can see your wings, you can stop...whatever it is you're doing.”
“Maybe he’s spying on us.” Discord smiled “How cute~”
Stan jumped into the air and hit his head on a branch. Which then led him to go through the leaves of the tree and fall on the other side, landing right on top of Fluttershy.
“Stupid wings!” Stan stood up and grabbed his transparent wings. “First you fly me here, now you blow my cover, why don’t you just tell them who I am while you’re at it!”
“Wait a minute...I know you.” Stan stopped fondling with his wings and turned around, seeing his second worst fear come straight toward him. “You’re that prey from last night, you sound just like him!”
“Who?” Fluttershy raised her head and looked up at Stan, she tried to move but Stan seemed to keep her held down, even though he was a little bit smaller than her, and he wasn’t even trying to hold her down, since he was too focused on Discord. “Um...Changeling, can you...please-”
Stan immediately yelled at the top of his lungs and grabbed Fluttershy. “D-don’t take me!” He held her up like a shield and cowered behind her. “Just take this one...She probably tastes better anyway.”
Fluttershy dropped a jaw while Discord raised an eye. “Y-you are that same changeling!” Discord came as close as he could to the bug with Fluttershy in the way.
Fluttershy looked back and forth at the cowering changeling and the angry Discord. “Are you sure he’s the same? Maybe he’s a different bug who’s...who’s still afraid of you.” Fluttershy started realizing what was going on. “Why are they scared of you Discord?”
“Wha- Does it look like I know? I never even saw nor heard of these things until the wedding, and last time I remember,” Discord flew around Fluttershy and faced Stan. “they destroyed it.”
Stan was too busy closing his eyes no notice Discordalantilo’s teeth that were inches away from his head. “W-we just...please...I...d-don’t want to be l-l-like the others…” Stan was starting to crawl into a fetal position with his back propped up to Fluttershy.
“Others, what is he talking about?” Fluttershy was becoming more concerned for the bug. They might’ve destroyed the wedding, and they might look terrifying, but she knew they were doing the right thing now, and with this one cowering at her hooves, she could do nothing but look at it with sorrow.
As for Discord, he could only look at it in anger, he was fed up with this bug telling them all of these lies. “I’m not a monster!” He yelled right in the changeling’s face. “What makes you think I am, just because of how I look? And how I devour your kind?! I am just like you, my prey, I may look strange but I’m not someone who goes around and kills you. I am not someone who lures others into being my meal! So what makes you think that I’m your worst nightmare, who will finally get his chance to end the life of Sta-”
“STOP!”
Stan lost it. He flew behind Fluttershy again and grabbed her. “Please, don’t let him do this,” He turned her around and looked at her in the eyes. “I know you can hear me in there pony, so just come to your senses and..and…” Stan threw Fluttershy at Discord and ran off. “Just take her instead!”
Fluttershy and Discord cringed the entire time Stan crashed or smacked into something. They watched as the changeling flew into the tree again, then into a bush, then a statue, then another one, making it crack, then he finally got his wings under control and flew away...right through a glass window.
Fluttershy looked up at Discord and frowned. “Why are you making him act like this?”
Carl’s apartment was quiet and eerie, not a single sound was being made, except for Carl, who continued make moaning and groaning sounds in the bathroom, it wasn’t until a bright flash of light shined through the cracked doors that he stopped.
Seconds later, Carl gasped and launched himself out of the bathtub, falling on the hard tiles and catching his breath. “W-what...wh-why….how...when….where? What am I doing in...oh no…” Carl glanced over at the bathtub filled with water. “D-did some one…”
He ran up to his mirror and looked over himself, trying to find some indication of what he thought happened to him. “Come on...where’s the stitches? I know they don’t just heal it with magic, they just take it and leave you in a tub of ice. So where’s my stitches?!”
He continued looking over himself, trying to find some indication that someone left their hoof-ie work behind to show Carl that he lost a vital organs. “N-no...nothing’s too vital in me, only three things are vital to me. My brain, my heart, and…and.” He then felt around his body to find his other important organ.
He breathed a sigh of relief once he found it. “Oh thank Chrysie...Thought that would’ve been it for me.” He then raised an eye. “Hu...wonder why it’s blue right there, and there, and there?”
He sat back down and tried to catch his breath, trying to figure out what happened to him. “Okay...just relax, what was the last thing you remember...the last thing I remember was...talking to Stan, then after that I tried to...tried to...wash something...and...” He groaned and stood back up. “Oh for queen’s sake, I need to get to a hospital! Who knows how long it takes for a changeling to die once he loses...Whatever it is I lost.” With that in mind, Carl ran out of his bathroom, knocking the door down, dashed outside, knocking his other door down, and made his way to the hospital.
The lab coat wearing changeling behind the front desk rolled his blue eyes and glared at Shift and Lift. “Look, I really don’t have the time for this right now, the doctors are so busy they put me, a caretaker, on desk duty, you know how responsible that is?”
Shift and Lift exchanged glances and looked back at the changeling. Lift asked, “Listen...uh...what’s your name?” The changeling adjusted his coat, showing off his nametag that was clipped to it. “Ah, well uh...Dr. A, I believe that maybe you should not care about what’s going on right now and think about the future.”
The doctor raised an eye, “Psh, really? What kind of future are you talking about, one filled with cheesy dance moves and songs, sorry boys, but your plan is perhaps the most-”
“Wonderful thing I have ever heard.”
The doctor and DJs looked down the hall to see Chrysalis still clinging to an IV pole with caretakers beside her. “C-Chrysalis, you’re still hurt.” The changeling doctor was was about to leap off the counter, but the queen made her way to the desk in time to stop him.
“Listen, child, I’m sorry to break it to you,” She turned to Shift and Lift. “but their plan just might work.”
The DJ's smiled. “Really?” They said in unison.
One of the caretakers had the same expression the doctor had. “You can’t be serious, my queen. How will a song-”
The queen chuckled. “Songs can do many things, Rick, and I did see these two pull off a slight musical before, correct?”
The DJ's fidgeted. “Well…” Shift started.
“You see.” Lift said. “We kinda…”
“Didn’t think it would work...since...uh.”
“We only learned...from example…”
“L-Like what you did, Chrisy.”
“So, we thought that, if we tried it.”
“It would work.”
Chrysalis smiled. “And it did work, so perhaps we should give it another go,” She turned to the doctor and Rick. “Don’t you agree?”
Rick looked away and the doctor crossed his hooves. “I seriously doubt singing in the street can do this, that would be too...well...cheesy.”
Chrysalis shrugged. “It’s better than staying here.” She turned her other caretaker. “See how many changelings can walk, we need as many as we can.”
The changeling nodded and made her way to the rooms. Chrysalis smiled and made her way to the front doors, the DJ’s followed while Dr. A stayed at the front desk. “This day just gets weirder and weirder.” He tapped his chin and looked away just as the doors opened again. “Can’t help but feel this whole thing is going off tra-”
“DOCTOR!”
Dr. A nearly fell to the floor. “Wh-wha...C-Carl, what are you-”
“No...huf...no time…” The panting changeling put his hooves on the desk and panted heavily. “I...I need to...to speak with...som..someone who...uh…”
“Sorry, but the other doctors are currently too busy with other patients, so I don’t think they can help with...whatever you want them to do.”
Carl looked up with pleading eyes. “I...I just need a...a few minutes is all...c-can’t you help…”
The changeling doctor raised an eye. “How the heck can I help? I know my name has doctor in it...but...I’m not really a-”
Carl slammed his hoof on the table, causing almost everyone in the waiting room to jolt up. “I just need you to look at me!”
The doctor stepped back and sighed. “Ugh….fine, but can we please make it-”
Carl leapt over the table and dove under it, he then motioned the doctor to do the same. “quick…” Dr. A finished. He looked back at the others too see if they were done looking at them. Once the coast was clear, he crawled under the desk and faced Carl. “Alright, what do you want me to ‘look’ at anyway?”
Carl started fidgeting. “Well, uh...you see, there’s this..thing...or...a lot of things that are….um...on me...and.”
“What, like an infection or rash or-”
“I-I don’t know, and it’s...it’s...well.”
“It’s what? Where is this ‘thing’ you’re talking about anyway.”
Carl started sweating, thinking that this wasn’t the best idea. “W-well...I-It’s somewhere...hehe...he…” The smile he put on wasn’t fooling the doctor.
“Will you just show me already, I doubt its that baAAAAAAH!”
Carl cringed once he showed him where the apparent marks were from earlier. He even closed his eyes, not wanting to see the doctor’s expression. “W-well, go on...t-tell me what’s up with it.”
Dr. A was having trouble comprehending what he was seeing, he knew what it was, but the only thing that bothered him were the marks. “W-where...where did...did you get those...those-”
Carl opened one eye and started covering up the apparent ‘infected area’ on him. “I-I dunno doc, I woke up in a bathroom and saw that more were on my face, but I washed them off, but for some reason.” Carl looked down again and sighed. “It’s really hard to get these off, it’s like something took a lot of work to make sure these would stay blue like this, and sparkle too.”
Dr. A was starting to get more uncomfortable than he was before. He knew exactly what was on Carl, but his mind was deciding whether or not he should tell him. “Uh...Carl, are you...sure you don’t remember how you got them.”
Carl shook his head. “No idea, do you know what they are?” Carl showed the marks again, only for Dr. A to shield his eyes from it.
“I-I know what they are, Carl, stop showing them.”
“Well, what are they?”
Dr. A scratched the back of his neck. “Well, how do I put this…”
Stan groaned in pain as he opened his eyes, seeing a broken window in front of him. He rolled over only to crush the small glass that scattered around him. He groaned louder in pain and started standing up. “W-what kind of idiot...uuuooohhh...thinks going through a winDOWOWOW..is a good idea.”
He crawled his way to soft carpet and rested on it, he then started noticing the blood trail he was leaving, but he was too tired to care that that point. “Hgh...why do I have to put up with this, and why do my wings have a mind of their own now?” He thought about that for a minute before realizing what was happening. “Must be my sleep flying syndrome that’s causing this...stupid….*yawn* Stupid wings.”
Stan started closing his eyes, not wanting to face anything right now, no monster, no other brothers, and certainly no Celes-
“Do you think the changelings can pull it off?”
“Well, we do it all the time, don’t we?”
Stan’s eyes shot open and his entire body stood up once he heard those voices. “It’s the princesses...or princessi?...whatever! Their coming here!” Stan looked back at the glass and the blood that was coming off him. He ignored the blood and realized he smashed through a very expensive window that could probably cost him if the princess knew he did it.
“Perhaps we should help in some way?”
Stan looked at the door, seeing it creak open, he had to act fast, or he’ll face a wrath greater than the queen could administer. He glanced over at the throne and dove behind it, praying to the queen that the princess wouldn’t find him.
“I don’t see why we can't help the cha- oh my ME!” Stan heard gasping and hooves coming very close to him, he closed his eyes again, wishing this to not be true.
“What kind of scoundrel would break a window, especially a royal one?” At this point, Stan was wishing he spent more time trying to understand who was saying what, it was almost making him want to take a peek, but he knew that was suicide.
“Ones who think they can get away with this. Let’s just see who’s blood this...wait, blood!?” Stan held his breath and look down at himself to see he was still bleeding, and that there were still pieces of glass stuck to him. He only hoped that he didn’t create a-
“Look sister, there’s a trail that leads up to...the throne?”
Stan quietly sighed. “Well, this is where I die, might as well think of things I regret now. First off, I’d like to regret crashing through the window, that was too stupid, especially on my wings part, second, I wish that I never went drinking, or...dunking, whatever it was called, and three I wish I never met...”
“Stan!?”
Stan’s mind and body stopped, now starting to recognize that voice, a voice way too motherly to mistake, he gulped and slowly looked up. “Uh...H-Hi there Celestia...um...f-fancy meeting you here.”
The princess could only stare back, as did the other princess that walked up the other side of the chair. Stan looked back and forth at both of them, thinking that any moment now they would get the jump on them and send him to the dungeons.
The dark princess talked first. “W-why are you here, changeling, and...you do know you’re bleeding, right?”
Stan decided that now would be a good time to stall the heck out of this while he could. “Well, you see, changelings don’t really need that much blood, we can lose a bit before we start to….get a bit...dizzy.” He ended lazily.
Celestia came around the throne and looked over Stan. “Changeling, we need to get you to a hospital. Crashing through a window can’t be good, even for you.”
Stan glanced over at the window, then at the shards of glass, then the blood trail, then the small pool of blood forming around him. “Huh, guess it is pretty dangerous, even...for a changeling.” He smiled and smacked his lips before falling down and hitting the floor.
The only thing he could hear after that was, “Let me take care of this, I need to talk with him….In private.”
Carl slowly walked out of the hospital; his mind trying to process everything the doctor told him. Although, all of it was very hard for him to take in. His eyes were wide and his walk was just like Stan’s when he was drunk. All he wanted to do right now was forget everything Dr. A had told him. “I...I think I’m gonna...go get something...normal...to eat…” He whispered to himself. “Y-yeah…”
He slowly walked down the street. Trying his hardest not to bump into anyone along the way and to maintain eye contact with the front of the sidewalk “Okay Carl.” He thought “Take a breather, think NON-suggestive thoughts.” Unfortunately, that was all Carl could think about. Nothing but thoughts of what had happened last night, especially toward the end.
He was so focused on this that he didn’t notice Shift and Lift walking along the other side of the street, carrying various sound equipment; some changelings behind them were doing the same. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Lift whispered to his twin.
Shift smiled. “If we did it once, we can do it again, and I’m pretty sure the other brothers will remember their lines.”
“Oh really, can you even remember yours?” Lift asked.
“Uh...yeah.” Shift scrunched his face and looked up, making Lift doubt this plan even more. Shift realized the face his brother was putting on and nudged him. “Hey! Words or not, this song is gonna give a great message, alright.”
Lift sighed. “Alright, fine, but if this doesn’t work-”
“Trust me.” Shift reassured him. “It will work, it always does.”
“But I don’t wanna clean the eggshells today...wha?” Stan’s eyes slowly opened. His body felt like something was wrapped around him while his eyes adjusted to the light. “Uh, I feel like I smashed through a wall.”
“You smashed through a window,” A voice called out. “not only that, but I’m sure your body isn’t feeling good after...well…”
Stan recognized that voice, which made his eyes shoot open and stare right in the face of a white alicorn. “P-p-princess...I-I-I...w-w-what are you-”
Celestia hushed him. “Stan, please stay still, I can’t heal your body if you keep moving like this.”
“Heal?” Stan looked down at his body to see some of the cuts he had going away. He also noticed he was laying on a bed with Celestia sitting on the floor next to it. “W-wasn’t I-”
“I got the glass out while you were asleep,” Celestia explained “all that’s left are the cuts.” Celestia looked at him. “But I would like to know just why you crashed in here in the first place.”
Stan bit his lip. “Well, uh...y-you see...uh...princess...m-my wings kinda have a mind of their own, constantly going wherever they want, usually when I sleep...uh, t-they didn’t do anything while you-”
Celestia shook her head. “No, they didn’t put up any fuss, I’m just glad it’s only cuts I’m mending.”
Stan tilted his head. “Why would you say that, I don’t think I hit the floor hard enough to break a bone.”
Celestia looked away. “I’m not talking about you shattering the glass, I’m talking about...earlier…”
Stan was still confused. “Earlier, what did I…” Stan eyes when wide once he realized what he did. “O-o-oh, u-uh i-i-it wasn’t my fault...I-I-I was drunk, and-”
“And so was I…” Celestia’s horn faded as she mended the last cut on his body. “Stan, about last night.”
Stan was trying to find an excuse for all of this, he went with the first thing that came to mind. “It never happened...”
Celestia looked at him. “So you do understand?”
“Understand what?”
“That what happened here, stays here.”
“Oh...y-you’re not mad?”
Celestia bit her bottom lip. “Well, yes and no, to be honest, It was very...strange to have a changeling in my quarters at that time of night, with him being intoxicated, and making me intoxicated as well.”
Stan stood up, still worried about this situation. “B-b-but I was-”
“I know you were drunk, Stan, and I know that you know what happened...and I know that if anyone...anyone knew about this.”
“It would be bad for both of us?” Stan was certain if others found out about him beating up a princess, they would throw him out for sure.
As for Celestia, she sighed in relief, knowing this changeling understood all of this. “Glad to know you understand.”
Stan got off the bed. “I-I-I understand p-perfectly…” He put on a nervous smile
“But just so we’re clear.” Celestia leaned in her face as blank as ever. “If you tell anyone about this, I will teleport your still beating heart out of your body and show it to you…” She leaned away and smiled. “Understand?”
“Uh…” Stan wasn’t sure if he heard that right, “She wasn’t even talking in her evil voice that time.” He thought. He then slowly nodded, hoping that would help.
“Good, glad to know you understand.”
“O-Of course princess...uh...c-can I go now.”
Celestia nodded, “Yes, but out the window, please, I’d rather not have the guards deal with any changelings anymore.”
Stan gulped and made his way to the open window, happy to know he was still alive from all of this. He turned around one last time. “Alright, princess...j-just please don’t tell anyone about this either, I don’t want others knowing I beat up a alicorn.”
Celestia closed her eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell any...wait, beat up...Stan, we didn’t fight, we...” But it was too late, he was already out the window. Leaving Celestia as confused as ever. “Did he really think he...no, c-changelings aren't that oblivious…”
As Stan flew out of her room, he couldn’t help but feel like he was forgetting something, something important, something that he knows he needs to do. He flew down to the sidewalk and tapped his chin, trying to remember, then it finally hit him.
*SMACK*
“Ow...hey, can’t you see I’m trying to regain my...Stan?”
Stan readjusted his eyes and looked up to see his answer. “Carl?”
Carl stepped back. “Uh, yeah, it’s me. W-what are you doing here, last I saw you, you were flying away for no reason, what? Did the plot force you to-”
“It’s my wings, apparently they thought I was asleep and decided to fly without my consent.” He chuckled.
Carl smiled. “Well, glad to know you’re okay, where have you been?”
Stan sighed. “Everywhere…and, geese, am I tired”
“Well, if you’re that tired, we could...we could...uh...oh! Hey, look.” Carl pointed to his left. Stan turned to see they were standing next to a diner. “You feeling hungry?”
Stan raised an eye at him. “Carl, we don’t eat that kind of food, I mean, we can, but it doesn't really-
Carl wrapped an arm around Stan’s neck and started walking inside. “Oh, there are ways to get love out of food, as for me, I’m just gonna get something normal to eat.”
Stan continued looking at the plate of food in front of him, ignoring what Carl said. His mind was too busy focussing on what had happened throughout this whole adventure, but one thing in particular was bothering him more than anything, he just couldn’t but his hoof on it.
“Stan?”
Stan shook a bit and looked up at Carl, seeing him eat away at his breakfast. “How can you eat that stuff, Carl?”
Carl looked at his plate and back at him. “I grew used to it, believe it or not, ponies put love in this stuff, ya just gotta taste it.” He opened his mouth and shoveled another spoon full of scrambled eggs. “Anewheh, you gunnah answher mah queshtun?” He said through the food.
Stan sighed. “Life’s...good, I guess…”
Carl swallowed. “You sure, It doesn’t look like you like life.” Carl chuckled. “Heh...alliterations…”
Stan continued looking away; he didn’t feel like talking anymore today. He just wanted to relaxes after what happened. He glanced around the diner, not seeing many ponies of changelings around. “Pretty empty place.”
Carl started looking around as well. “It’s usually got a few customers, I guess we’re early or something.”
Stan looked back at Carl. “It’s almost twelve, isn't that the time ponies start eating again?”
Carl shrugged. “Guess they don’t feel like it.”
“That’s your excuse?” Stan shook his head.
“Hey, does it look like I know where ponies are twenty-four seven?”
“Well, Carl, you have been with them for almost a year, you’d think you’d know how they live by now.”
Carl was about to say something, but quickly shoveled more food in his mouth and looked away.
Stan could already tell what he was thinking about. “Oh great.” He thought “You just had to remind him.” Stan sighed and decided to change the subject. “Carl, remember when we first met.”
Carl swallowed his food and raised an eye. “You mean when we were born?
“No; at the train.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember that, why?”
“Do you think I’ve...changed at all?”
“You mean from being a jerk to a drunk jerk?” Carl chuckled.
Stan slumped in his chair. “I’ll take that as a no then.”
“Hey now, I was just kidding. To be fair, you are pretty different.”
“How so?”
Carl shrugged. “Well, after getting drunk, going through tons of stuff that got you and me in trouble, (mostly me) and all the while, trying to get with a princess...I think that classifies you as having a change of character.”
Stan looked at his plate again, not a single piece of food had a bite in it. Carl noticed. “You not hungry. I know the bacon might not be that good since the pony who usually makes it is on hiatus, but that doesn’t mean-”
“I’m not hungry.” Stan pushed the plate too him. “I’m just kinda...disappointed.”
Carl stacked Stan's plate on top of his empty one. “Disappointed? All you did was get drunk, I’m sure some do that all the time, even I did it a couple of times, though I didn’t act as bad as you.”
“It’s not just the drinking, it’s about what I did, this whole ‘adventure’ was horrible from the start. I mean, me getting wasted and walking around like an idiot, almost getting myself killed, and all the while, you had to deal with it. That’s another thing.” Stan stood up and looked down at the changeling in front of him. “Why?”
Carl swallowed a piece of bacon. “Why what?”
“Why didn’t you just leave me?”
Carl sipped from his glass of milk and shrugged. “Cause friends don’t leave each other, I mean, I might’ve left you at the hospital, but at least I didn’t leave you in a dumpster, or at the bar, or in some dark alley. I’d rather not have a dead bug on my conscience, Stan.”
“What does that...F-Friend?”
Carl chewed the rest of his eggs and swallowed. “Yeah, we’re friends, right?”
Stan didn’t know how to answer that, he wouldn’t classify him as being a friend, just another brother who was part of the swarm, but Stan had to admit, what they’ve been through, and what they’ve done. He couldn’t help but feel a bit...he didn’t even know the feeling. “I-I guess, I mean...I don’t-”
Carl chugged the last of his drink and sighed. “What? Is it that you don’t want to be friends with an outsider like me?” Carl said sarcastically. Stan was about to say something, but Carl stood up; empty plates in his magical grip. “Listen, Stan, I know I abandoned you guys; left you; betrayed you…”
“Carl…”
Carl continued. “You see, When I caught word about you guys getting blasted from Canterlot all those months ago after I left, I thought for sure I made the right choice in leaving, but seeing you guys now, I makes me feel awful…” He sighed. “I’ve realized that I never should’ve left, I should’ve helped, maybe I could’ve brought more love in, or care for others, or try and fight for you guys…”
“Carl...you didn’t-”
“Do you know the last thing I said when I left the cave, Stan...Do you?” Stan shook his head. Feeling like this was getting very serious. Carl stepped closer. “I said ‘this place will die with or without me.’” Carl looked down. “I had no idea how right I was.”
Stan stepped back. “What are you talking about, everyling’s still-”
“If you hadn't of caught that branch and delivered that treaty, I’m pretty sure everyling would’ve died.” Carl crossed his arms. “Believe it or not, Stan, you are a hero.”
Stan rolled his eyes. “Oh please, I’m not a hero, the entire time I walked and flew from the cave to here, I was traumatized by that white alicorn.”
“But you still went with it, even though you were afraid.” Carl smiled. “I don’t think I would’ve gone if I was afraid of that changeling chomper.” He chuckled.
Stan smiled back. “Yeah, but I probably wouldn’t have made it if it wasn’t for you.”
Carl rolled his eyes. “Oh please, a changeling like you could’ve handled it.”
Stan shook his head. “I don’t know, I went through two dreams and tones of visions on the way, I was pretty sure I would lose it toward the end.”
Carl laughed. “You kinda did, seeing as how you puked in my face again.
Stan laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. “Y-Yeah...heh...sorry about that…”
They had a short chuckle before looking at each other again. “Look, Stan.” Carl started, looking away from him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn't have ever let you set hoof in that bar, I should’ve just let you go home like you wanted, otherwise we would never-”
“Be friends.”
“Yeah, something like that is just-” Carl paused and looked up at Stan. ”W-What did you say?”
Stan smiled. “Carl, even though this whole thing was pretty stupid, chaotic, convoluted, crazy, and overall, pretty disappointing.” He shrugged. “It kinda brought us together a little bit.” He scratched the back of his neck. feeling a bit embarrassed for saying this.
Carl’s jaw stayed dropped. “R-really?”
“Well...Yeah…”
A long silence came after Stan said those words. After a minute, Carl decided to break the silence. “So...are we friends?”
Stan scuffed the floor. At the beginning, he didn’t consider Carl as a friend, just some brother who wanted him to experience what ponies had to offer, and even when he first met him, he was annoyed, but after all of this, from the fake fight, to drinking, to even having to deal with his drunk antics...there was only one answer. “Yeah.” Stan said. “We’re friends.”
Carl was astonished, not sure how to react, to be fair, it was a bit awkward, with these long pauses, but to him, it felt like it was bringing them closer together...as friends. “Well, that’s good...uh...so, what do you wanna do now then?”
“Well, we could…” Stan started thinking, but was caught off when his ear flicked. “You hear that?”
Carl raised his ear stems higher. “Yeah, what is that?”
“Sounds like...singing?”
They looked at each other before running up to a window, seeing something they couldn’t comprehend. “Huh, looks like the guard is a...I mean, it looks like Shift and Lift’s song actually got the town to sing. It’s pretty relatable too...in a way.”
Stan looked away from the marching crowd outside and smiled at Carl. “Ya think?”
They backed away from the window. “Welp,” Carl shrugged. “looks like fun to me, you wanna go out dancing or singing, I prefer dancing, my voice isn’t really that-”
Stan stepped closer. “How about we just, relax here instead of walking out this time, maybe we can taste more of that food stuff.”
Carl tilted his head. “This time?” He paused before realizing what he said. “Oh, I see, kinda like how we-”
“What do you think I should get?” Stan looked up at the menu hanging above the counter.
Carl stood beside him. “Well, theres sandwiches, hayfries, pizza...Oh hey, look.” Carl pointed at the side where the drinks were listed. “They serve beer here, imagine that.”
Stan raised an eye, unsure as how to react to that. “Beer eh?”
Carl stepped closer. “Wanna another one?” He smiled
Stan rubbed his chin, this whole adventure pretty much started with one glass, and from what he and Carl had been through, there was only one answer.
Carl did his best to hold Stan back, but the alcohol in his body seemed to give him more strength than usual. “Stan...Y-you can’t GrrrGo in...There!”
Stan continued running in place, desperate to get where he wanted to go. “You don’t understand Carlz, those lights are calling to me, and there saying ‘come to the dark side! And together, we can rule with lampshades on our heads!’ So I must...Get...Over….GAH; what is wrong with my legs!”
Carl started to lose his grip on Stan’s tail, he was starting to think it would fall off at any moment. “I’ve had enough of clubs for one day, and this is is even worse than the other.”
Stan stopped running and faced Carl. “Why is it bad? Did it do something wrong? Clubs are misunderstood, Carl, they probably didn’t mean to be...mean.”
Carl groaned. “Stan, that ‘club’ is wrong in many ways, for starters, it is very...how do I put this…”
“You can put it in your pocket, cause I’M GOIN’ IN DRY!” Stan’s drunk strength kicked in as he finally got out of Carl’s grip and made a dash for the front doors to the building.
“Stan!” Carl put his wings to work as he tacked Stan to the ground, causing both of them to roll right through the front doors, without noticing his environment, Carl got on top of Stan and held him down. “You can not go in that club! That place is filled with things that shouldn’t even be in this story!”
“You mean like that.” Stan pointed down the hall, making Carl, not only realized he was inside, but also cringe at the sight.
“Oh dear Chrysie…” Carl looked away and tried to shield his eyes from the many posters on the wall, but that only made Stan get off him and stand on his wobbling legs.
“Alright Charles,” Stan said, making his way down the hall. “let's go see just whatz in store for-”
“ID?”
Stan stopped and tilted his head. “Weird, I feel like I heard that before.” Stan then felt his head turn to his right, looking right into the eyes of a very big and very strong stallion with sunglasses and a black shirt.
“You probably have heard it before.” The stallion said. “Because insects like you need to know that your real identity is your only identity. Not some other pony’s.”
Stan stepped back into a wall and smiled. “So, if I heard you correctly, then that means the third episode will be coming soon?”
Carl could already tell the guard was not in a good mood when it came to changelings, so he calmly walked in between them and said, “S-sorry...uh...My friend here can get a bit...jumpy, so...w-we’ll just find our way out the-”
“And where’s your ID?”
“M-My ID?” Carl stepped back and bumped into Stan. “I-I do have one, but I’m not going in that-”
“Then hoof it over.” The stallion extended his arm, making Carl flinch and Stan gaze in amazement.
“Whoa,” Stan said. “how’d you get your arm to be all big and stuff.”
“S’called getting a workout, bug, now will you please-”
“Workout?” Stan said. “How do you do that?”
Carl could see the glare through the pony’s glasses. “I rough up customers who don’t listen.” The stallion said with full annoyance in his voice. “Now will you-”
“Can you give me a demonstration?” Stan said, immediately making Carl reach for his and Stan’s pockets. Pulling out the ID’s that were given to them after the surrender.
“W-ehehe what he’s saying is that...uh...the ID’s are right here.” Carl laughed nervously and prayed to the queen that this pony would just let them go, and that Stan would just shut up for five more seconds.
The pony lifted up his glasses and inspected the cards while Stan leaned on Carl, “Caaaaaaaaaaaaraaalz.” Stan whispered. “Why’d you not let him give me demonstrations…”
Carl grinded his teeth. “Because, Stan! I don’t want to walk out this place with a broken bone and a bruised eye.”
Stan chuckled. “Silly Carlos, how can we break things we don’t have?”
Carl grabbed Stan by the throat. “Stan. I am going to lose it if you-”
“Alright, it checks out.” The pony put his glasses back on and sighed. “You two better not cause trouble, I know your kind is famous for that.”
Carl let go of Stan and put on a smile. “D-don’t worry, sir, me and my friend aren't even going to be-”
“Let’s go see lights with actions!” Stan grabbed his ID and ran down the hallway in a matter of seconds, making Carl only look back at the guard and laugh nervously.
“Uh...w-we’ll be sure not to.” He calmly took his ID back and ran after Stan while the pony shook his head.
“Psh...bugs...only good ones are the ones under my hoof.”
Carl panted heavily as he chased Stan, his mind intent on either tackling him or just hoping he would stop. “Stan….Wheh...will you just stop-”
*SMACK*
“Stop what Carlilz?” Stan stood over his friend, his body still standing after Carl crashed right into him. “Cause if it involves not being able to see the fancy colors, then you can kiss the side of those string beads.” Stan pointed ahead at a doorway that’s blocked by red string beads.
Carl rubbed his head and stood back up. “Stan, so help me...if you go through those, I will end...you…” Carl sighed as he watched the beads sway back and forth in front of him, he could already guess what was behind them. “Oh boy...here we go…”
Carl took a deep breath and walked right through, seeing just what he had guessed. “Yep…it’s a strip club alright.” He looked away from the sight of fur against steel polls, bits on tables, music so loud it was making Shift’s and Lift’s music look quiet, and made his way over to a bar. “At least it has this…”
“Has what? A bar bee que?”
Carl nearly jumped when Stan came up behind him. “Stan! Will you-”
“Will I what?” Stan asked innocently. “Will I...’not’ drink at that stand.”
Carl had to think about that question. “Yes you...won’t...or...will...or...”
“Okay!” Stan wagged his tail and dashed over to the counter. Carl sighed again and dragged himself over to a stool next to Stan. “Ain’t this great, Carl!” Stan yelled through the music. “Just me, you, and this lovely thing called...uh...called...whuz this place called again?”
Carl rested his head on the counter and groaned, not wanting to answer. “I don’t even want to know where I am right now, Stan. Just leave me alone and try not to act like an idiot.”
Stan scratched his head and shrugged. “Okay, hey, miss lay day, can I have...whatever this liquid stuff is.”
Carl started zoning out after that, no longer caring about what was happening around him. “I just wanna go home.” He thought to himself “I should’ve listened to Stan at the very beginning, to just go home and not take part in what ponies do.” He raised his head and turned around, seeing the same sight he saw moments before, “especially this stuff.”
“Ya look lonely, sugar.”
Carl looked forward to see the bartender, who was a mare in a ‘suggestive’ waitress costume. “I’m not.” He answered as depressing as possible. “I’m just sick of all that’s been going on tonight.
The mare frowned. “Oooh, and wha’s that?” She asked in a voice that was far too southern for Carl to listen to.
He could already tell what the mare was trying to do. “Look, I don’t have any bits, so if you’re trying to get me to buy...whatever else you sell besides booze, then don’t expect me to do so.” Admittedly, Carl did have bits, but he wanted to keep them where the belong, in his pockets.
The mare smiled. “I’m just tryin’ tah cheer ya up, sugar. Seein’ as how you’re depressed’n all.”
Carl groaned. “I’m not a sweetener, and I am not depressed. I’m just very annoyed with what’s been going on tonight.” He rested his arm on the table and glared at the waitress. “I’ve been through a lot, from dealing with an idiot in games, to getting force fed, and even getting attacked by a monst-”
“Gettin’ force fed?” The mare put her arm next to his. “How’s that work?” She asked as seductive as possible.
Carl backed away from the table. “It involves things that I’m sure you’re familiar with.”
“Oh...what eva do you mean~?” Carl could tell she knew exactly what he was talking about.
Carl dragged his hooves across his face. “Can you just leave me alone.” He planted his forehead back on the table.
The mare merely patted the back of his head. “You changelings are always so...feisty.”
Carl looked up and rested his chin of the table. “What’s that supposed to mean.”
The mare placed her hooves on the side of his face. “It means that changelings, like you, need special” She lifted his face up to hers and whispered, “Attention~”
Carl shook his head away and growled. “I don’t want anymore ‘attention.’ I want to go home!”
“Door’s ova there, sugar,” She pointed at the strings of beads Carl had gone through minutes ago. “but you can stay here if ya want.”
“I’d rather face a monster again…” Carl grumbled.
“Why face ah monster, when you can face me.”
Carl started getting sick of the way this mare was acting. He rolled his eyes and looked toward the doorway. “I’m telling you I’m not….not...naaahot….”
“What’s tha matta, sugar?”
Carl looked away from the doorway and started shivering. “Uh...h-how about we….go and..uh...oh no…”
“What is it? It’s like ya saw a ghost ova there.” She pointed behind him. “When all it is is a group ah stallions.”
Carl looked back at said group of stallions, the group he knew all too well, and the group that was luckily making their way to the dancers. Carl could see the bruises and scars Stan left on him, he just hoped that they wouldn’t find… “W-wait...w-where’s Stan!?” He turned and looked around spasticity for his brother
“Who? Your friend?” Without Carl noticing, the mare walked around him, checking every part that the changeling had. “I think I saw em’ over by the dancers, he sure is ah playful one.”
“Well, I need to...what are you doing?” Carl stepped back, now seeing the mare look over the lower half of him.
“Just seeing what the ‘customer’ has before I-”
Carl stomped his hoof. “I am not paying you anything! So I suggest you-”
“EY! What are you doin’ here!?”
Carl froze, he knew that voice, the same voice that threatened him, and even almost killed him, at the other club he was at. He didn’t want to turn around, he was too scared to see the truth.
“I’m talkin’ to you, changeling!” Carl heard hoofsteps come his way, he decided that he might get out of this with at least a black eye and only one missing tooth, so he gulped and started turning around, only to be stopped by the mare.
“Wait your turn, boys, this bugs all mine.” With his back still to the ponies, Carl trembled as the mare wrapped an arm around his neck.
“This doesn’t concern you, lady, I recognize this bug anywhere.”
“Oh really?” The mare raised an eye. “Well, know him or not, you’ll have ta wait ya turn.”
Carl could hear the growls of the pony behind him, but that didn’t stop him from still looking away, no longer caring what would happen, as long as he made it out of her in one piece. “How much, lady, I’m sure some of us can double what this bug is payin’ for, that away you can leave him to us so we-”
“I’m sorry, boys, but this changeling called dibs, and ya can’t let a lady walk away, can’t ya?” Carl was starting to question the decisions that brought him here, and what this mare was trying to do.
“Look, doll, you’re a pretty thang, and I’d rather you not get involved with-”
“And I’d rather you not get involved with me, unless you want to...talk with the big guys ova there.” The mare pointed behind her. Carl followed the hoof to see that there were even more security around the walls, all of them looking way tougher than the group of ponies Carl met.
Carl decided that now would be a good time to turn around, just to see if his ears weren't deceiving him, and sure enough, they weren’t. He looked into the face of Charles, seeing a stare so cold that he could feel his body freeze.
But the pony stopped once he realized just how outnumbered, and out muscled, he and his friends were. So, he took one last look at the mare and said. “Fine, we’ll be by the bar…” The started walking past them, Charles glared at Carl and whispered, “We’ll be waitin’, luck bug.”
Carl’s could feel his heart pounding so hard it was starting to hurt, the mare put a hoof on his chest and pouted. “Aw, the little bugs so scared, ain’t he.”
Carl shook his head and stared at the mare, his breath still trying to catch up with him. “T-t-t-t-thank you….” He managed to say. “I-I-I-I thought f-f-f-f-for sure tha-”
The mare moved the hoof up to his mouth and shushed him. “Don’t worry, Sheila took care of it.”
Carl pushed the hoof away. “S-S-So that’s your name...hehe...uh...y-yeah.” He gulped.
Sheila closed the gap between her and him. “So, how’s about I help you...relax for ah bit.”
Carl knew it was either this or dealing with the group of murderous ponies. So, he nodded, but then thought of something. “B-b-b-but what about after, what if their still-”
Sheila leaned in, her chest against his, and shushed him again. “Don’t worry, sugar, Just follow me.” With that, she turned around and started walking.
Carl looked behind him, seeing each one of them looking back at him, Charles even held a bottle like a weapon, the pony nodded and smiled at him, a murderous glare coming over him. Carl yelped and ran right next to Sheila, not wanting to look back anymore. “Hopefully Stan’s okay, I wonder how he’s holding up.”
“Come on! Show me that back side that you call a flank, how’z I supposed learnz bout’ this kand of stuffs if ya don't even teach me!” Stan rested his legs on a table in front of him and took a swig of his bottle.
A stallion next to him raised an eye at him. “Uh, dude, you’re lookin’ a little tipsy there.”
Stan snickered. “Silly pony, only mares have those, and we guys can't do nothin but stare at them...right?” Stan leaned in and smiled, only for the pony to look away and back at the dancers. Stan rolled his eyes and leaned back again. “More eye pictures for me then. Now how’s about thataaaaAAAAAHH!”
*THUD*
Stan groaned and stood back up after he fell from his chair. “Dumb chair, not knowin’ where I need to sit!” He kicked it in frustration, gaining some attention around him.
One mare wearing striped socks on both her legs and arms tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around and oogled at her. “Well halllooooooooooo miss stripez. Can I take your order?”
The mare crossed her hooves. “Sir, can you please not mess with the furniture, it’s not cheap.”
Stan stood back. “Well, I wish you were.”
“Excuse me?”
Stan rolled his eyes. “I said, I wish you were a chair so that you could like….do laps...or somethin.’” He scratched his head and leaned on her.
The mare backed up, making him fall on the ground. “First off, it’s the other way around, and I doubt you’re gettin’ any with that kind of attitude.”
Stan stood back up. “I’m just trying to have times that are good, and I am practicing for what I’m gonna be doin’ tonight.”
The mare glared at him. “what, getting on a lady’s nervers.”
“Lay day?” Stan tilted his head. “It’s tuesday, and I’m preparing for things with a white mare and tons of fun!” He ended with a smile, the mare didn’t smile back.
“Well, good luck with that.” She turned around and walked away. Stan whistled and raised his bottle in the air.
“There goes a mare with style!” He then tumbled back into another chair and sipped on his beer, he then noticed a shadow loom over him. “Oh good, a guy who lifts stuff, hey, can ya get me a...wait a minute, don’t I know you from somewhere?”
“I-I-I-I thought there was a n-n-no touching rule.”
“That only applies to the customer.”
I then decided that this was getting far too suggestive and that stopping now was a good idea, seeing as how typing what Carl would soon experience would put this at an even worse rating than it already was
“Knock knock! I am Stan!” Stan used his head and bashed through the door, knocking the entire thing off it’s hinges and smashing into the ground.
Carl sighed and walked in behind him. “Stan! You can’t just barge into someone’s house, especially after flying for so long! I had to take a train just to catch up to you!”
Stan raised his head and laughed. “All aboard the hype train!” He face planted again and continued laughing to himself.
Carl grabbed him. “Stan, you have no idea how many rules you are breaking just by being here! What if the owner caught us!”
“Then she’d be asking a lot of questions.”
“Exactly, so how about...you...go...oh no…” Carl and Stan looked up to see a mare they knew all too well. “Uh...h-hi…”
Stan shook Carl off of him and smiled. “Why hello magic mare! How’z everything with the kicking our flanks n’stuff.”
Carl put a hoof in his friends mouth and laughed nervously. “W-ahehehe he meant to say was...w-we are terribly sorry to barge into a ponies house, and such a lovely house and…” He gulped. “Uh..p-p-powerful mare as well.”
The mare flared up her horn, sliding the door under them back into place. “You two should probably start talking.” She said, making her way downstairs.
“Well, okay!” Stan stood tall. “My name is Stan and this is Carlos, we are here to see how great the weather is today.”
The mare raised an eye and looked at Carl. “Um..w-what he means is that, we are terribly sorry to intrude in such a house...especially if it belongs to...y-you.”
“Why me?” The mare asked, walking closer to them.
“Because you’re the one responsible for blowing the queens cover and almost killing everyone of us.” Stan stuck his tongue out at the end of that sentence while the mare and Carl dropped their jaws. “What? s’true.”
“Kill? I-I wouldn’t...wait a sec...shouldn’t all changelings be in Canterlot?”
Carl sighed. “Yeah, but this one decided to travel up here and visit you, because...well-”
“Because I’m a basketball.” Stan answered.
The mare shook her head. “Wait...I think I know you.”
“And I know you!” Stan pointed at her. “You’re that purple pony who beat us up, you and your friends and those two mares.”
The mare lowered his hoof and glared at him. “My names Twilight, and I think yours is Stan.”
“Whoa…” Stan stepped back and leaned on Carl. “She must be a mind reader or somethin’.”
“No.” Twilight said. “I just read what Celestia wrote, saying how a treaty was made because a changeling visited her, and the changeling had a-”
Stan immediately ran up to her and shushed. “Quiet! Don’t point out my features, I’m not supposed to stand out amongst my brothers and sisters, I’m only supposed to have a name and personality, I can’t go too in-depth, no one will like me if I do that.”
Twilight pushed him away, making him slide over to a tall lamp. “What are you talking abo-”
“OH! OH! What’s this thing, It looks so shiny!” Stan wagged his tail and took hold of the poll.
“It’s a lamp.” both Twilight and Carl said, with Twilight saying it in surprise.
“Wait, you know what it is?” Twilight asked.
Carl shrugged. “Yeah, I know what it was; what makes you think I don’t?”
Twilight was about to answer, but Stan interrupted her by falling. “Hey, Carl.” Stan said. “Look at me, I’m lampshading!” Stan put the lampshade on his head and laughed at his own poorly made joke. He then picked up the lamp and hugged it. “Do you think we can make more at home?”
Carl rolled his eyes. “Stan, we can’t, only ponies can make that, all we ever had was some glowing goo plastered on the wall.”
“Glowing what?” Twilight was a bit curious.
“Yeah, some gunk that even we don’t know where it came from, all it does is cover some corners of the cave and glow, that’s about it...oh, and it’s a pain to get off.”
Stan laughed while still hugging the lamp. “Heheh, get off.”
Carl groaned. “Okay, Stan. Can ya let go of the lamp.”
“How do you know it’s a lamp?” Twilight asked. “Last time I heard, changelings aren't very...well…”
“Aren't very what?” Carl then realized what she was about to say. “Oh, I know what you mean, you think we don’t know much about your kind, is that it?”
“W-well.” Twilight looked away and fidgeted while Stan put the lamp down and made his way to a picture on the wall.
Carl sighed. “Look, princess. We changelings are way brighter than we look.” As if on cue, Stan fell over the lamp he set down and slammed his face in the wall. Carl ignored this and said, “He doesn’t count, seeing as how he is drunk off his flank.”
Twilight nodded. “Oh...so that’s why he’s like this.”
“How’z about you watch where you’re goin’, lamp!” Stan then pounced on the lamp and started chewing on the poll.
Carl cringed and looked at Twilight. “Uh...you don’t…”
Twilight shook her head. “It’s fine, I’m sure he won't do much to it.”
“THE LAMP’S ATTACKING!” Carl and Twilight turned to Stan to see him wrapped around the poll with the lamp shade covering his eyes. “It’s affected my vision!” He spun around multiple times and landed into the same wall again.
Carl facehoofed and looked back at Twilight. “Anyway, changelings know a thing or two about ponies, you got some sort of system of currency, you have houses with separate families, you guys are pretty good at giving off love too. Way more than any creature we’ve seen.”
“Is that why you guys-”
“Well, they did.” Carl leaned over at the now unconscious Stan. “I just watched, or read about it in the news while staying in another town.”
Twilight started getting confused. “Wait, how did you-”
“Because I left.” Carl sighed. “I just knew sooner or later my brothers would lose it, with the food shortage getting low. So, I left and decided to feed myself rather than everyone.” Hearing that out loud, Carl felt a bit ashamed.
Twilight was surprised. “You just...left?” Carl nodded, looking down at the floor. “Well, how long were you all by yourself.”
“Eleven months.” He raised his head and frowned. “I saw a couple brothers and sisters here and there while figuring out where to stay.” Carl leaned to Stan. “He was the last one I met before the treaty.”
Twilight raised her eyes. “Wait, you weren’t the only one to leave?”
“Of course not, I think I was probably the thirteenth one to leave, and I’m sure some did the same after I left too.”
“So you and a hoof full of changelings abandoned the hive and went off all by yourselves?”
Carl nodded. “In a cocoon shell.”
Twilight was astonished. “So you’re all not just one single minded-”
“We’re not just some stupid drones who go out, get love, and come back; okay. We have personalities and we can comprehend thought by ourselves.” He stepped forward and looked deeper into Twilight’s eyes. “We are not insects, we might act like them from time to time, but we don’t think like them. In a way’s...we’re kinda like you guys.”
Stan raised his head and said. “Except we have more than four holes!” He snickered and stood up, the lamp now off of him. “So, what’d I miss?”
“You missed me talking to the princess, that’s about it.” Carl was beginning to feel his IQ drop every time Stan talked.
“What’d ya guys talk about, OH! Did you talk about my quest!”
“You’re quest?” Twilight thought about that and then realized what he was talking about. “Oh, you mean how you delivered the treaty.”
Stan flew to the air and held a hoof to his chest. “Yep. through hours of long journeys to careful planning done by me and my sidekick, I was able to deliver the treaty and restore peace to all the land!”
“Y-yes...you did.” Carl started making his way to the door, “Uh, well , it was a nice chat, how about we-”
“Can we at least tell her about how I conquered the evil changeling chomper!”
“That what?” Twilight started getting more and more confused the more Stan talked.
“Stan, now’s not the time to-”
Stan flew up beside Carl and hugged him. “Now’s the perfect time to tell the story! Once, there was a brave changeling who was asked by the queen to help deliver a treaty to the great beast known as the hatchling eater.”
Twilight looked at Carl for help, “He mean’s your princess.” Carl said. “He had some phobia of her for a while or something.”
“He was afraid of Celestia?” Twilight couldn’t imagine why anyone would be afraid of her.
“Yeah, I was afraid.” Stan stood in front of Twilight and smiled. “I was so scared I was having hallucinogens and nightmares about her.”
Twilight stepped back. “You mean hallucinations and...wait, you have nightmares?”
Stan hiccuped. “Well, duh. Everyone has a nightmare, mine was just more severe, I’m sure you had them too.”
Twilight shrugged. “Well...I-”
“Wait, wait, WAIT! Lemmy guess. Is it like Marvin’s dream, or Sal’s, or Calvin’s, or Shawn’s or-”
“Stan!” Carl yelled. “Can’t you see she doesn’t care about-”
“What kind of dreams did they have?” Twilight asked, making Carl rub his temples.
“Well, Marvin dreamt about waking up in a hospital and realizing his whole life’s been a lie, Sal dreamt about murdering every single one of his friends by *BELCH*ing with their minds, Calvin dreamt about some gigantic, evil alicorn swallowing him whole; he woke up with a stained cocoon for some reason after that; and then finally, Shawn dreamt about a purple unicorn with red eyes and razor sharp teeth constantly trying to kill him.” Stan smiled at the end, leaving Twilight to sink that in with a dropped jaw.
“Lies...murder...swallowing whole and...a purple unicorn?” For some reason, those dreams sounded very...familiar to her.
Stan nodded. “Yep, we changelings are messed up, huh?” He nudged her before Carl grabbed him by the arm.
“Well, looks like we overstayed our welcome! Come on Stan, lets leave!” Carl made his way to the door while Twilight continued staring off into space.
“But Caaaaaarlz I haven’t told her about how Tyler dreamed about the queen having her way with-”
“STAAAAAAAAAAAN!...STAN? Ugh...Come on Stan, I wanna go home, just come out already….please…”
Carl hung his head and continued walking through the forest, he had been at this for an hour, and he still couldn’t find eye or tail of Stan. “First he almost gets us killed by that monster, and now he’s off to find another one in this forest.” Carl looked up, seeing more trees, bushes, vines, leaves, and plants he had never seen before. “At least my eyes still work for the darkness, years in a cave do that to ya.”
He continued walking until he entered a clearing. “Maybe he’s not here anymore, maybe he’s just out and about in town, finding more ways to get himself killed, wouldn’t be surprised if I found him on the side of the road dea…” Carl stopped walking and started realizing what he said, did he really think Stan would die from all of this?
Carl shook that thought away. “No...n-no, Drunk or not, Stan can still...be okay…” He gulped. “I hope anyway.” His eyes started wondering from tree to tree, seeing nothing but...tree. “STAN! If this is some game of hide and seek, then you win, okay. So can you come out already!” Carl held his hoof to his ear, hearing nothing but the sounds of the forest.
“Hu, so this is what a forest sounds like. Thought it’d be kinda...scary...” In truth, Carl wasn’t that afraid of this place, he never heard spooky stories about the forest, just things in the forest. “Maybe some elevation would help.” He started fluttering his wings, but the second he did, his ear flicked, making his wings stop mid way in the air.
“Uh...Stan?” He turned to where his ear had pointed and saw nothing but more forest. “W-was that you.” At that point, Carl’s mind started guessing just what made that sound. “I-If that’s not him...t-then.” Carl shifted his eyes to look for something to defend himself. Unfortunately, all their was was sticks, so he grabbed the biggest he could find, which was the size of a twig.
“H-Hey! Stan, i-if that’s you...t-then come out...a-and if it’s…” He started shaking. “n-not you t-t-t-then...y-you know...g-go...”
*SNAP*
“AWAY!” Carl yelped and started looking around, wondering where that snap came from. “L-Look, S-Stan, i-if this is fun for you, t-then just...STOP! Okay!” He started hyperventilating. Images of creatures and monsters from his brother’s stories started flowing through his head.
“S-stay calm, Carl. S-S-Stay c-calm.” He repeated to himself. “j-just think of...g-good stories, y-yeah, ones that Chrysie told...uh...T-The story of Michal was-” He heard rustling, “Uh...t-t-the part about Ed and how he saved-” More noises were heard, making Carl grip the twig tighter. “T-T-That story Steve told about the d-d-darklings was k-kinda cool.” He knew that was a downright lie, but his mind couldn’t help it with these noises, each one scarier than the last.
Carl could feel his heart pound against his chest. He could do nothing but back away from where ever the noise came from. “T-T-That story of t-the striped enchantress was...b-bad…” He cringed and stepped further away from the clearing, entering the darkness of the woods.
At that moment, something long and thin started gliding across the ground behind Carl; his mind oblivious to it. “T-there was the story of t-t-the belly button eater...wait...do I even have one?” He sat down and inspected his stomach, just as a pair of yellow eyes flashed behind him. “No, don’t see one, maybe Paul would know, he has holes in his stomach.”
Carl’s eyes faced forward and his mind swam with questions about his own body while a long tail came out of the darkness below him. “Maybe we just have holes in our arms and legs.” Carl inspected his arm while the tail surrounded him. “Nah, we gotta have more somewhere.” Carl stood up and made his way out of the darkness, making the tail try and coil round him, though all it got was air.
“If I just had more light, than I could see...wait, wasn’t I supposed to be doing something?”
“Standing still.”
“No, no, I was looking for something, or someling, or maybe some mon. Mon...ma...maahoonster…” Carls mind became aware of his surroundings once he heard that voice, it sounded nothing like Stan, or anyone he ever heard of before. “Uh...S-stan, t-that you?” He asked stupidly.
At that point, Carl felt something grab his shoulder and spin him around until he faced the darkness again, but his eyes could barely make out a pair of glowing yellow eyes there were very close to him. “Uh...h-h-hello?” Carl tightened his grip on the stick, hoping it would prepare him for whatever would happen next.
Though, that hope quickly went away once he saw a snake-like tail grab it and yank it out of his hooves. “Bad boy; You’ll poke your eye out with this thing.” Carl saw it fly out into the darkness, along with his hopes of living.
“Uh...u-u-uh...uh…” Carl couldn’t say anything, he had no idea what this thing is, all he knew was that it’s eyes were staring into his soul, and it’s tail was strong enough to take away something out of his hooves.
“You sound scared, hmmm, I wonder why~” That voice, even though it sounded soft with a feminine voice, was still scaring the wings off of Carl.
“W-who..w-w-what...w-w-where’s…” Carl continued shaking in fear while a tail came up behind him.
“Hmm, can’t even make out a sentence.” The voice said again, “Maybe you need some help.”
“W-what kind a he-GAHK!” Carl felp a tight grip around his throat before he felt it around his shoulders, then his chest, then stomach, then finally the rest of his body, he tried to struggle, but with no air, it made it difficult.
He closed his eyes and tried getting his arms out of whatever was restraining him, but whatever was around him made sure that wasn’t happening. “Gaahh, g-grrrah ah...leck...l-lemmy go gack!” He could already feel the air leave his body from the constant strain of the tail.
“Now why would I want to do that?” The voice said, starting to loosen it’s grip on him.
Carl took a breath and continued to struggle. “W-what’d ya wrap around me? Steel rope?”
The voice giggled. “That’s a tail, deary.”
“T-tail?...w-what kinda-”
His question was answered once the tip of the tail made contact with his nose. “This kind, silly.” The voice giggled again and shook the tail in front of his face.
Carl grinded his teeth, still not knowing who and what this thing is. “Y-y-ya y-y-you’r...s-some kinda snake?”
“Yes and no.” Carl leaned back right as the creatures face came out of the shadows, now he could see, not just the eyes, but the face as well. It’s had a body two times his size, with it resembling the everyday pony, mane, snout, the only difference was the size of her mouth, and it had a face that was starting to both creep him out and adore it. “Now, you could say I am, but I’m pretty sure I’m not just a snake, I’m-”
“A lamaga…” Carl whispered.
The creature raised an eye. “Heheh...what?”
“M-My brothers told about...things; you’re like, half-ling, half-snake...right?” Carl could still hear the hissing his brother made when they told these stories
The creature chuckled and came closer to Carl, her face just inches away from his, giving him a full view as to what she really was. “I may not know what a ‘ling’ is, but I’ve been told by my other vic- or...friends that I’m part pony.”
Carl looked away from her face and started seeing the upper part of her body, it looked just like a pony, only it had no legs. “Uh...w-where’s your legs? M-my brothers said you at least have four limbs.”
“Legs?” The creature pulled back and laughed. “Oh. You mean my hind legs, lemme ask you something, creature. Why would I need legs when this tail is the only transportation I need.”
Carl looked down, seeing that he was still coiled by this creature. “W-well, it’s...ah...a nice tail, d-don’t you think you can let me GAH!”
The creature adjusted her grip on Carl and brought her arms up to the sides of his face. “I just can’t let you go now, we have much more to talk about. My name’s Beatrice, by the way. I must say, it’s quite strange to find something like you in a place like this, not many visitors come around these days.” The creature shrugged and continued smiling at him. “So, what’s your name?”
Carl still didn’t like any of this, even with the calming face, the calming voice and the very...calming...eyes… “Bwah...uh...OH! M-my name...my names Carl.” He felt dazed, he didn’t know if it was because of how tight she was holding him or something else.
Beatrice giggled. “Carl? Hmmm~ Haven’t heard a name like that before, usually the foo- or...the friend has two of them.”
Carl nodded, oblivious to the word error. “Y-yeah, most ponies have strange names.”
Beatrice came closer to Carl, their face’s inches away from each other. “What are you anyway? You don’t look like a pony...or a rabbit, or a mongoose, or any creature I’ve ever seen.”
Carl nervously chuckled. “I’m a...uh...a...aahh...uh…”
Carl started drifting off, he didn’t know why, but the creature before him did, so she blinked once and cleared her throat. “AHEM, what are you?’
Carl rapidly shook his head. “A changeling! A creature who can shape shift into certain animals and feeds off their love!” Carl panted heavily, not knowing why he just said all of that.
Beatrice grinned. “Looks like I still got it.”
Carl looked up at here. “Got what?”
The snake pony looked away. “Oh, nothing you need to worry about.”
That only made Carl worry more. “W-well, t-this has been a nice talk...s-so can you-”
“Why do you wanna leave right now, can’t you stay just a little while longer?” She blinked again.
“L-Listen, I really need to...to...to get...find...be....some...where...yeah…” Carl started drifting off again, every word he said took more effort than the last. He yawned. “W-why so tired…”
Beatrice’s eyes went wider, spinning with colors Carl had never seen before, each one of them looked beautiful, he couldn’t stop staring, each swirl opened up a strange feeling of calm and happiness, as if everything in his mind at peace. “You don’t need to be anywhere but here?” Beatrice whispered.
Carl started smiling, the colors of her eyes started to transfer to his. “Y-eah...o-okay. Heheh...pretty pretty…” He chuckled and continued looking at her eyes, unable to look away.
Beatrice shook her head, Carl did the same. “It seems your mind is just as easy as the others, such a pity.”
“Yeah...pity the things…” Carl continued staring, he didn’t even blink the entire time.
“Just relax, little bug…” She smiled as her tongue came out of her mouth. Carl noticed and raised an eye.
“W-whatcha doin’?” He asked dazily. Beatrice ignored his question and licked the side of his face, Carl giggled at this, “Heh, t-that tickled.”
Beatrice slurped her tongue back in and rubbed her chin. “Not bad, and to think with such a strange body it wouldn’t taste as good.”
Carl laughed again. “Yeah, my brothers always say how good changelings taste, at least...that’s what they say in their stories.” He tried licking his own face with his tongue, but Beatrice widened her eyes again to make him focus his attention to her.
“Close your eyes, little bug. It would be...unpleasant for you to have them open during this.”
Carl only nodded and did as she said, hoping he would see more swirling colors after this.
Beatrice could only smile at the pitiful display. “Such a poor, little creature, almost makes me sad to do this.” She grinned, showing her small, white teeth. “Almost~” She hovered over Carl and slowly opened her jaw, her mouth closing in on Carl’s face. All Carl could do was lower his ears and smile, ignoring the drops of spit and the tongue starting to wrap around him. He knew he was making her happy while doing this, and if she was happy, then he was happy.
Beatrice imidatly backed away and clamped her jaw shut, making Carl open his swirling pink eyes in worry. “What's wrong beatriceeeee?” He felt worried, because if she was worried, then he was worried. “Don’t I taste-”
Beatrice wrapped a tail around his mouth and looked around. “Another one?” She groaned. “It sounds just like him.” Beatrice looked back at Carl and smiled. “Tell me, is there anyone else who was with you when you were walking out here.” She unwrapped her tail and hoisted his body upside down in the air.
Carl raised his ears up and smiled. “Yeah! There was my friend Stan, he’s a little dazed right now, and I was trying to get him out of this place because of how dangerous it is, I mean, you could get caught by monsters out here, Beatrice.”
Beatrice smiled. “Looks like a second serving.” She whispered.
Carl cocked his head and scratched the back of it. “Second, how can you eat me twice, Beatrice, can’t I only-”
Beatrice dropped the changeling head first on the ground. “Stay.” She said before she slithered out in the clearing.
“Okie dokie mistressussses!” Carl waved to her and sat in place. “I wonder if she has a surprise for me.”
“Oh Caaaaaaaaaaaaaarl! I have a surprise featuring booze sentral if you come out here!” Stan took another swig of beer and hiccuped. “Okay, I have half of a prize for you if you come out…” He took another one. “Okay, now it’s just four thirds...or one and one third.” He gazed at the bottle. “Maths hard.”
He continued studying the bottle while a familiar pair of eyes came up behind him.
“Carl was right.” She whispered. “He seems completely dazed, looks like I don’t even have to work for this one.” She slowly started coming into the clearing.
Stan immediately turned around and extended his arms. “CARL!” He leapt straight at her, tackling her to the ground.
“GAH! W-what the he-”
Stan stood over her and smiled. “Carl! You have no idea how long i’ve...wait, you’re not Carl.” Stan leaned in closer to her, for some reason, Beatrice felt a bit startled by this, usually it was her doing this. “You look like some big pony. OH! Are you that one pony who is friends with a goat?”
The snake-pony had no idea what he was talking about, nor did she care. So, without another word, she started raising her tail behind him, prepared to strike. “Oh, I am no pony.”
“Really?” Stan got off of her the second she struck, making the tail smack right into her nose. She yelped while Stan rubbed his chin. “Weird, and here I thought that goat was famous for doing big poines, Oh! maybe she’s friends with Jasper!”
Beatrice launched right at him, prepared to squeeze the life out of him for making her hurt herself, but Stan put a beer bottle in his mouth and leaned back, making her miss and land in the dirt. “MMMMMHHH hm! That is some goooooooood stuffs.” Stan belched. He then realized he drank the rest of it and frowned. “Aw, now I can’t celebrate with Carl...oh well.” Stan shrugged and threw the bottle behind him, making it smash against Beatrice’s head.
Stan noticed this and raised his eyes. “Whoa, I didn’t even know you had a tail!” Beatrice tried getting up, but jumped and landed on her back. “You look a lot like that one story my brothers told, only you don’t have any legs, did you get them cut off or something, cause that’d be cool, I thought I had to do that one day, but then it turned out that the branch was easier to do, so I...hey...you okay?”
Beatrice only groaned in response. Stan flipped her over to see her eyes in a daze. “Whoa, your eyes are all swirly like, that’s so pretty, do you think I can do that too!”
“HEY! Those are my ssssswirly eyezez!”
Stan looked back up, seeing his friend, Carl, coming out of the thick forest with the same kind of eyes Beatrice had. “CARL! Such a short time without seeing! Hows my-”
Carl then rushed right at Stan and tackled him to the ground. “You stay away from her! She’s mine!”
Stan cocked his head. “Yours? I thought you didn’t have a mareee friend yet?”
“I don’t, she’s my-”
“So she’s not your friend?”
“No! She’s..sh-she’s”
“Then you don’t know her.”
“No! I don’t...know...know...I...I don’t know her…” Carl finished in a tone Stan could only describe as a robot.
“Well, I don’t see why I should stay away from someone you don’t know, and why are your eyes like that, Carl?”
“M-my eyes are like...what?” Carl got off him and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming.
“Well, how’s about I introduce you then, I mean, I don’t know her either, but maybe it would be nice.” Stan stuck his tongue out of the side of his mouth and made his way to Beatrice. As for Carl, he started blinking his eyes, each time, the swirls went slower and slower before there was nothing but blue.
“W-what happened?” Carl asked, his head still pounding
“You tackled me and asked what happened.”
Carl turned around and gasped. “S-Stan! Y-You’re okay!” Carl rushed right at him and tackled him again.
Stan seemed unfazed and smiled back. “Yup, I’m ay okay, why’d ya think I wasn’t?”
Carl pulled him back up. “Because you’re in the forest, you have no idea how many things could try to kill you in this place.”
“Like that thing?” Stan pointed at Beatrice. Carl only glanced and looked back at Stan.
“Yeah, Stan like that...th..that…” Carl then slowly turned back to the knocked out snake-pony. “S-Stan, d-did you-”
“Knock her out?” Stan finished. “I think I did; that bottle did most of the work though.” Carl only sighed and hugged Stan.
“Stan, you have absolutely no idea what would’ve happened to me if you hadn’t shown up. So...thanks.”
Stan smiled and patted his back. “Aw, don’t thank me, Carl, thank the snake lady, she’s the one who did the trapping in the first place, heck, I think she’s trying to do it again right now.”
Carl broke out of the hug. “Stan! Why would I thank her, she’s the nasty, cruel, down right evil monster who tried to kill us. She’s-”
“Right behind you.” Stan finished and pointed behind his friend. Carl followed the hoof until he was face to face with Beatrice again. She stood over them and glared. “Nasty and cruel am I?”
Stan nodded. “Yup. That’s what Carl said, silly bug, thinking that beauty like that can-”
Carl hid behind Stan. “L-Look, j-just stay back! I-I have a Stan, and I’m not afraid to use it!”
Beatrice laughed. “Oh! What are you gonna do, throw him right at-”
*SMACK*
Carl threw Stan right at her, their heads colliding and eyes going in a daze. Carl winced at the pain as both of them landed on the ground, Stan laying on top of her with their eyes locked.
Carl slowly walked up to them. “S-Sorry Stan, I-I-I had no...y-you’re alright...right? Stan?” Once Carl was close enough, he saw both of their eyes still looking at one another, with Stan’s going slower than her’s “Stan!” Carl grabbed him and brought him back on his back hooves. “Stan, for the love of the queen, are you alright?” He started shaking him while Beatrice mumbled to herself.
“It’s a long ball coach!” Stan said before shaking his head. “Oh, hi Carl.” He waved as his eyes returned to their normal blue-ish green, telling Carl he was still drunk.
“Stan, I-I’m sorry, I-I was just.”
“Aw, don’t worry Carlz, I’m sure you’ll find love one day.” Stan patted his friend’s back.
Beatrice started fluttering her eyes open, still swirling with mixtures of blue and yellow. “L-love…” She whispered.
“Love? Stan, I don’t care about-”
“Oh, Carl, Carl, Carl.” Stan patted his head. “Still searching, never finding.”
Beatrice rolled over on her front hooves. “C-Carl…”
“Stan, love is the least of my importance right now.”
Beatrice put her hooves on the ground and started raising. “Love...ca…”
“Carl, you need to know love is like an onion, so if you pursue it, you will eventually stink with love.”
“Love...Carl!” Stan and Carl turned around to see Beatrice standing up again.
Before either could react, she grabbed Stan. “Here we go.” Was all he could say before he was flung into a nearby tree, his hoof getting caught in a branch. Stan gazed at the luck. “whoa! Twice in a row, that’s bringing back memories.”
“Stan!” Carl ran for him, but was quickly tripped by Beatrice’s tail.
“Love….Carl.” She repeated again. Slowly dragging him closer.
Carl dragged his front hooves on the ground and tried to struggle, but the tail only started coiling around his body again. “W-Wait, d-don’t do this...I-I’m not even as tasty as-”
Beatrice clamped his mouth shut with her hoof and smiled. “Love...Carl…”
Once she retracted her hoof, Carl dropped his jaw, seeing her eyes were now swirling with blue. “W-what…”
He flinched as she rubbed her nose against his. “Love, Carl~” She retracted away and rubbed the side of her face against his.
“Oh no.” Carl tried struggling again, but her tail was just as strong as before, he turned and looked at Stan, seeing he was still struggling with his branch. “Stan! Help, t-this snake is-”
“Once sec Carlz!” Stan yelled. “This took me fifteen minutes the last time, and that was when I was sober, so just wait while...I try...and co..mu..no..caaaayy.” He tugged with every syllable, but the arm wouldn’t budge. “Just hang in there Carl...heheh. hang.” He laughed and continued pulling.
“Stan! Will you hurry and-” Carl was cut off by the tip of a tail turning his head back to Beatrice, he face still smiling and her eyes still blue.
“Love, Carl.” She said, leaning in for a kiss that was too big for Carls lips, which led to her just surrounding his muzzle with them instead.
Carl closed his eyes and waited for it to be over, knowing he would be full after all of this.
