//------------------------------// // Wake up call // Story: Celestiphilia // by Dr Atlas //------------------------------// “Oooooohh...what the hatch shells...Uh...wut?” Stan lazily opened his eyes. He would’ve stood up, but his entire body, especially his head, was in pain. “Oooooohwaah...whugh…” With all his strength, Stan lifted his front hoof and rubbed his eyes, he heard jingling in the distance doing so. “Who’s singing jingles in my place...wha-hu?” He looked down to see something tied to his bottom left hoof. “Rope? What are you doing tied to the floor?” He looked up and saw that he was inches away from the ceiling. “Is the room really that small?” He looked down again and started getting the picture. “Or am I getting big?” In reality, Stan was hanging upside down with rope tied in one of his holes in his legs. He grunted and made a reach for it, only for it to snap and make him fall to the floor. More moans of agony escaped his mouth . “Owie...who messed with the gravity...oh wait...Am I on the floor?” He looked up again to see the rest of the rope dangling from the ceiling. He shrugged. “Seems like it. Now to just…” He started getting on his hooves, hearing more sounds of jingling. “What is with these bells, why can’t they just...just...what the…” He looked at his right hoof and saw a metal ring attached to it, with a small chain hooking up to another ring that was open. “Hoofcuffs? Did I get arrested?” He looked up to see if there were bars surrounding him, but what he saw was even weirder. “What in Chrysie’s strands of dead hair…” The first thing he saw was a bed, which also had rope on it, and on the floor their laid a bullwhip that looked used. “Did I herd cattle too?” He looked around the floor and noticed a whip. "Why would you need multiple whips attached to one, that's overkill to control animals." He then looked to his left at a mirror and saw his own reflection, he yelped once he got a good look at himself. “What's with the collar now? And why am I half pony?” He saw that his face and the top part of his chest was white like a ponies coat. He put on a deadpan face and, with a flash of green, turned back into a regular changeling. “Must’ve impersonated someone…” He walked up to the mirror, doing so made him cringe. “Gah, what is with my back legs, it’s like someone pounded my waist or something.” He ignored the pain and looked at the mirror. “Why would you need spikes for this thing anyway?” He looked down and touched his neck to feel the spiked collar around it, with a small black string attached. “Was I impersonating a pet or something? What the heck happened last….oh my…” He looked up at the mirror to see something behind him, something that made him not want to look back in fear that it was true. He gulped and decided to take a peek, only to see that the mirror was correct in it’s reflecting. “Celestia?” He started walking up to the princess. She was sleeping soundly with a blindfold on and a pile of wine bottles next to her. “Wine, did she...oh Chrysie, did I get her drunk?”  Stan started panicking. “This is her room, isn’t it?” He looked closer and saw something else that was around her neck. “Who puts a red ball on a collar?” Stan thought to himself. He ignored it and looked at the rest of the princess. “Her body looks bruised, mostly from her flank...d-did I…” Stan backed away from her. “I fought her, didn't I!?” “This is bad…” She was sprawled out on the floor with a pillow under her head. and her wings were tied up with rope. “What’s with all this rope?” He shook his head and looked behind the princess to see more items. “Huh...that is one weird colored horn,” He thought. He looked further and saw more “and that’s and even weirder one. Strange how it’s strapped on to a really thin pair of pants, and what's this?” He grunted as he made his way to the side of the princess and picked up another strange, tube like object. “Looks like...something you...use to...get milk out of udders or something?” He continued turning it around “Ponies make the weirdest of things…” He said out loud. “Hhhhmmmmhh?” Stan dropped the tube and looked at the princess. She was starting to rise up and beginning to stretch. “Oh no.” Stan thought. “I...I gotta get out of here, she’ll kill me if she realizes I took a nap in her room, and even left a mess here too, and seeing bruises on her!” He looked around the room and saw an open window, he looked back at the princess one more time and made a dash for it, even though the pain in his lower body wanted him to stop, he kept going and leaped out. He closed his eyes and hoped that his wings were in better shape than him, luckily they flapped in the wind. He took one more look behind him and bit his lower lip. “I hope she has enough mercy to forgive whoever makes messes, and leaves injuries.” he grimaced and continued flying. He scanned the area for the first thing he could think of. “I gotta find Carl.” Meanwhile, Celestia took off blindfold and opened her eyes. “Hm?” She took a look around and gasped. “Oh no.” She whispered. “Not again…” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Ready?” “No…” “You sure?” “Yes.” “Are you sure you’re sure?” “Shift, do you even know what we’re doing?” Shift patted Lift’s head and said. “I know exactly what we’re doing, brother.” “Oh really?” Lift crossed his arms and sat down on the hard pavement as other ponies walked past them. “So tell me why we’re getting up at eight in the morning to do this, that’s really early for us.” Shift chuckled. “Quit bein’ such an anti early bird. Besides, dis is gonna be good.” “How…?” Lift asked in a deadpan tone. “How is getting up early and singing good?” Shift took a big inhale. “Um…well...uh...singing is fun.” “How…” Lift asked again in the same tone. “Um…cause you can dance.” “And how is dancing fun?” Shift groaned. “Stop being a downer and just help me with this.” He took off his fedora and hit Lift over the head with it. Lift growled and smacked Shifts hat away from him. “Ya know, it’s kinda ironic.” Shift put his hat back on. “How?” “Well, with you wearing that hat, and the song about bein’ happy-” Shift used his hoof to smack Lift instead this time. “Just because I wear a fedora don’t mean I got that euphoria stuff.” He tipped his fedora in a mocking manner as he said that. Other ponies on the street gave strange looks toward them, but then continued on with their daily lives. “I was just kidding,” Lift reassured him. “look, how do we start this?” “Simple. We just go out in the open, and sing.” He smiled. “Just sing...no music?” Lift was starting to doubt this plan even more. “Oh don’t worry, if my hypnosis is correct-” “You mean hypothesis…” “Whatever, look, if we just go out there and sing, the music will play in the background.” Now Lift knew this plan was ludacris. “How does that even work?” Shift stood up and tipped his fedora again “Just watch.” He grabbed Lift’s hoof and hoisted him up. “And see how my idea comes to life.” “Alright, fine. Show me the ways, oh master of euphoria.” Shift glared at him and Lift just smiled. “Ha ha…” Shift said sarcastically. Then he cleared his throat and started tapping his hoof, which somehow created a tune in the distance. Others started hearing it, but Lift seemed to be the only one that was concerned. “Uh Shift, you hear that?” “It might seem crazy what I’m about to say~” Shift started doing a small dance routine. “Uh Shift, this is freaking me out…” “Sunshine she’s here, you can take a break~” Other’s were starting to crowd around behind him. tapping their hooves and smiling just like Shift “Okay man, seriously, this is creepy.” “I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space” Lift looked behind his brother to see that others were starting to dance like him. “Shift...really...stop.” “With the air, like I don’t care baby by that way~” Then Shift started walking, as did the others. At that point, Lift was starting to feel the beat too, so much that he didn’t care what was happening. So he shrugged his shoulders and got beside Shift. “Ah screw it…” “Because I’m-” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I’m not happy right now…” Stan landed on the sidewalk and got his footing. “Gah...what is with my legs.” He turned his head to the apartments and sighed. “Hopefully Carl knows what's going on. Last I remember I was with him before I...I...went somewhere or…” Stan held his head and groaned. “Forget it.” He took the first step, only for a pony to bump into him. “Oh..sorry cha- Uh…” “What?” Stan looked at him in annoyance. Treaty or not, he still wasn’t very keen on making friends. “Um...No offence, but, is there a reason why you’re wearing that in public?” Stan looked over himself and saw that he still had the spiked collar and hoofcuffs on him. He shrugged. “I just wanna...show...other sides of me.” Admittedly, he had no idea why he had these on him in the first place. The pony continued giving him weird looks. “O...kay then...I’m gonna...keep walking.” With that the pony continued walking past him. Stan raised an eye. “Maybe ponies have their own sense of fashion.” He lifted his hoof and looked at the hoofcuffs. “I need to get these off.” He looked back up at the apartments. “Maybe Carl has the keys.” He walked to the first step and groaned. “Stupid legs, is something wrong with my pelvis or something?” He shrugged it off and made it to Carl’s door. He knew it was his since it was the only one with a broken door, surprisingly the door was slightly open. “Weird, Carl always props something against it.” He sighed. Knowing most of these things he was seeing and the questions he was asking would never be understood, nor answered. With a deep breath, he pushed opened the door. “Carl? Ya in here? I need to talk to...whoa…” Stan looked across the room and saw the back of Carl’s couch, which had the leg of a changeling dangling on the foot of it. “Still asleep?” He walked up and put his hooves on the top of it. He smiled and decided that surprising Carl would cheer him up, with all the weirdness that was going on and such. “Oh Carl, time to wake...WHAT THE!?” Stan reeled back in shock once he looked at Carl’s face. It was completely covered in blue kiss marks, and some that were traveling down his neck, he could only guess that more were under the covers, what surprised him more was a note that was taped to his flank. Stan tilted his head and grabbed it, revealing another kiss mark under it. He ignored that and held it up to his eyes. “What’s this say?” To my lovely changeling, Couldn’t help but come back for seconds. Hope you had enough to eat. Come back if you want dessert. Love. Miss Moon. Stan dropped the paper on the ground. “C-Carl?” He ran around the couch and came within inches away from Carl’s face. “CARL!” Carl immediately rose his hoof’s and head in the air, punching Stan while doing so. “I said I’m full! Wha…” Stan looked down at the floor and gasped. “S-Stan?!” Stan groaned and rubbed his head. “Yeah...It’s me, and since when can you hit this hard.” “Ever since you got drunk, W-wait...Why aren't you at the hospital?” Carl sat up and held his blanket, covering his chest and waist. “Hospital? Why would I be-” “Because I brought you there to...uh...what’s with the collar?” Stan adjusted his collar and looked away. “Uh...w-what's with the lipstick?” “Lipstick? What lip-” Stan grabbed the note from the floor and threw it at Carl. “Maybe this might explain it, and who is this ‘Miss Moon?’” “M-Moon…” Carl looked at the paper and dropped his jaw once he read everything. “W-n..I...but...wha...guh….It wasn’t a dream…” “Well?” Stan tapped his hoof impatiently, wanting to know what was with this note and what Carl’s kiss marks were all about. “Um….H-how about you tell me why you...have hoofcuffs on.” Carl pointed at the cuffs. Stan brought them to eye level and remembered something. “Do you have the keys for it?” Stan asked. “Why would I have the keys?” Carl crossed his hooves. “I don’t even remember you having hoofcuffs on when I dropped you off at the hospital.” Stan glared at him. “Well Carl, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about!” He yelled. “I don’t even remember going to the hospital!” “Y-you don't?” Carl scratched his chin and thought for a moment before remembering “Oh yeah, that’s right.” “What’s right?” Stan grabbed Carl’s throat and ground his teeth. “Carl...What happened last night?” Carl gagged and grabbed his friends hooves. “Why..dagh..don’t you tack..take a seat!” He swung Stan next to him on the couch and caught a breath of air. “Look...Stan, I might not know why you have that stuff on you, but besides that, I know what happened.” Stan continued glaring at him. “Tell. Me. Everything.” Carl was too tired to be fazed at Stan’s dark tone of voice. “Alright.” He said. “How about I start from the beginning…Like most stories.”