//------------------------------// // He's a what? // Story: Celestiphilia // by Dr Atlas //------------------------------// The bathroom door slammed open and Carl came tumbling out, panting and dripping with sweat.Seconds later, a mare came out in the same condition. She looked down at the changeling and smiled. “You full?” Carl slowly got on his hooves and faced her. “I….geah, I….ugh….t-that….w...was…w-”         “That was what?” Luna asked.                  Carl continued to pant. “I...have just...meh...one thing...to...to say.” Carl took a deep breath and sighed. “You know how to feed a changeling.” He said in amazement.         Luna chuckled. “As I should, a thousand years later and I still got it.” She leaned on him and smiled. “I’ll be at the castle if you need another helping.” She walked past him and slowly glided her tail under his chin before she finally left him alone outside of the door.         Carl finally got his breath and sat down. He was filled with mixed emotions. confusion, worry, happiness, amazement, all of this leading to one thing. “The mare knows her magic!” He said. “Who knew a love spell that powerful could fill me up?” He slumped to the side of a wall. “And she was right, she does still has it. All that power she was talking about, and all that magic...Mhh. What a mare.” He smacked his lips. "Pretty tasty too."         Carl looked down and saw the energy flowing through his stomach. “This should last months.” He stretched and slowly got up on his hooves again. At his current state, he was feeling both happy and amazed. “If only mares like her knew spells like that.” He walked back out into the main area and looked around. “Hmp, looks like she actually left.” Carl was still trying to keep his balance. The energy coming from him was almost too much to handle. He needed a drink.         He slumped to the side of the counter and laid his head on it. “Number forty-seven please.” He said while raising his arm in the air.         “Hieeeee Carrrrl!”         Carl sighed and looked up. “Oh...hi Stan.” He slumped back down, not knowing why Stan was here and acting drunk again.         “Wait...Stan? Where the heck wer-” Carl looked back up to see he was still there. Drinking cider, with a silly straw, his eyes were back to normal and on both sides stood two changelings Carl knew all too well.         “Well hi Carl.” Shift said.         “Glad you could make it.” Lift finished.         Stan stopped sipping and snickered. “They did it again, Carl.”         Carl slid his way to the stool next to them. “W-where were you two, and what’s up with Stan?”         “What do you mean?” Shift said.         “Why is he all loopy now?" Carl asked. "He was talking all crazy like and...” Carl rambled a bit. Shift and lift looked at each other and chuckled. “Well,-”         “Yeah, you see, me and Lift here we’re gonna play DJ-”         “But the other DJs didn't want us by their record table-”         “and man, do they look weird-”         “There was this one that had both yellow and green hair-”         “And another with a blue body-”         “Then this gray one with blue hair with red ends-”         “Then this other gray one with green and blue hair,         “he was pretty cool, but he twitches a lot-”         “Then there was this other guy who’s name reminded us of our friend All-exes, you know that guy Carl?”         Carl scratched his head. “I think so? But why didn't they want you over there?”         Shift nodded. “Eh, too much for me and Lift to handle.” The Twins looked down and saw that Stan had finished his cider.         “EY!”         “Barkey,”         “‘nother round please.” They finished in unison.         Stan set his glass down and snickered. “That’s sooooo cooooool.”         Carl raised and eye. “And...Uh, what about Stan? last time I saw him he had red eyes and talked all crazy like.”         Shift and lift scratched their heads. “Well,” Lift said. “We don’t really know.”         “Carl, when we stopped conversing with dem other DJs.”         “We glanced over to our friend here, Stan, fighten’ with a group of ponies.”         “And boy did Stan know how to fight, He messed all those poor dudes faces in-” Carl rolled his eyes. “I know, I saw.” "Yeah, but anyway, after they ran off-"         “and you went to the bathroom with with your mare friend to...better know eachother” Carl blushed. “I-I-It was nothing. We didn’t do anything.” Carl didn’t want to talk about it at all. “Sure…” They said in unison. “L-Look, what happened next?” Carl asked.         “Anyway,” The DJ’s continued “as soon as you left, me and Lift here-.” “called him over here and started talkin’ to him,” “And he was talkin’ real funny too.”         Carl walked closer to them. “How so?”         Shift and Lift looked at each other. “Well, like we said, he was talkin’ real funny like-”         “and sayin’ random names all the time-” “And talkin about torture and murder-”         “And from where we were hearin’ it-”         “Sounded like he was actin' like the darklings.” Shift ended with an evil smile.         Carl stepped back. “D-darklings?” Carl knew that scary story all too well.         Shift and Lift grinned at each other and said, “One of our best stories. Right next to the hatchling eater."         Lift nudged his brother. “Nothin’ like scarin’ your own kind-”         “By talkin’ about what your own kind doin' 'dark stuff' behind the little ones’ backs.” The laughed out loud, making Stan do the same.         Carl narrowed his eyes. “That was a horrible story! All it was was changelings torturing ponies just because they were walking into our hive. We don’t do that!”         Shift and Lift smiled at them. “How would you know, Carl?” Lift said. "Yeah, Stan might even be one of em.'"         Carl sighed. He didn’t really feel like talking about that right now. “So, about Stan.” He pointed at his friend, who was drinking out of a full glass of cider with the silly straw.         Shift and Lift shrugged. “We brought him over here-”         “and poured him a couple of drinks-” "and after a while."         “And he was starting to talk all drunk like again-”         Carl reached for his own drink and took a sip. “So, why was he acting like a darkling in the first place?”         Shift and Lift pointed at Stan’s swollen head. “The fight must’ve hit him pretty hard or somethin'.” Shift said.         “Hard enough for him to think-”         “He was one of dem darklings.” They chuckled to themselves and patted Stan on the back.         “And theeeeey gave meeeee a siiiilllllyyyyy straaaw from the trashy canzez.” Stan smiled and continued sipping from his straw. “So, let me get this straight, you guys saw Stan-”         “Yup.”         “with a bruise on his head.”         “Yup.”         “Acting like a darkling.”         “Yup.”         “And you bought him drinks.”         “Yup.”         “To get him drunk again?”         “Yup.”         Carl shook his head. “You guys really need to stop telling stories to little hatchlings.” He pointed at Stan. "Stuff like this can happen."         The DJs laughed. “Yeah-” Shift said.         “Probably.” Lift finished.         Carl looked at Stan again. He was starting to become concerned. “Do you think...I dunno..”         “Whaaaaat iz it Caaaaaaarl?” Stan said.         “Stan, no offence, but, you should go to a hospital.”         Shift and Lift tilted their heads. “Why should he?” They said, making Stan snicker again.         “Well, look at him.” Carl threw his arms at him. “He’s full of bruises after that fight, and he has a bump on his head. Something like that requires care.” Carl pulled the straw out and threw it away. “Not a silly straw!”         “Aww…” Stan whined.         Shift and Lift sighed. “Alright Carl.” Shift said sarcastically. “Go ahead.”         “Take your friend-” Lift said in the same tone of voice.         “and continue ruining his night.”         “Me and Shift here-”         “Are gonna see-”         “If we can score tonight.”         They got out of their walked away, but not before whispering, “Just like you did with the princess.” Right in Carl’s ear.         Carl twitched his eye and blushed. Stan looked at his now empty bottle and placed it back on the counter. “Sooooo, Mr. Carl.” He scooted his stool closer to him. “Can we go visit miss Celestia and play charades?”         Carl looked down and sighed. “Stan…” He shut his eyes and thought about his next words carefully. “Okay, you know what?” Carl got off the stool and took Stan’s hoof. “Let’s go and visit that mare you love so much.” He made his way to the doors.         “We goin’ to see Sunny?” Stan asked with his hoof now glued to Carl’s         Carl grinded his teeth. “Yeah...we are.”         “YAY!” Stan cheered and landed on top of Carl. “I knew you’d let me sooner or later.”         Carl ignored the weight on his back and opened the doors. “Right…” He said through the stain of his muscles. “I just hope that the hospital isn’t too crowded.”         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “NO! You’re not laying a hoof on her!”         “Children, please.”         “Listen to her, she needs our help.”         “No...She need’s OUR help, not help from a magician!”         “CHILDREN!”         Everyone in the room turned to the changeling queen, her entire body was filled with patches and bruises, and her horn was connected to a wire that led to a machine that even the changelings didn’t know what it was doing.         “Stop this...this isn’t the way we should act to those who want to help.” Chrysalis looked at the other ponies who were in the room, they had come in to check on her, but the caretakers wouldn’t let that happen.         “We can help you ourselves, queen.” One changeling said.         “Yeah," Another yelled. "you don’t need a magician’s hoof when it comes to bringing you back!”         One of the doctors rested a hoof on a changeling’s shoulder. “Listen, we can bring her back to-” The changeling smack her hoof off of him. “Don’t you touch me!”         Chrysie sighed, knowing this treaty wouldn’t end overnight, both the ponies and her children were finding it difficult to adjust to all of this. Some children were begging for help, others didn’t want it. Others needed it, but some of the hospital staff didn’t want to lift a hoof when it came to changelings.         And some of her own children didn’t even want the ponies helping her. “What was the point of the treaty?” She asked her children.         The three caretakers looked down, knowing with that tone of voice that a lecture was gonna happen. “To save our kind from extinction…” One of them said.         “And?” The queen motioned her hoof to make them keep going.         Another answered. “And to make peace so we can get love without stealing it.”         “Because?” Chrysalis said.         “Because it’s not right.” They all said in unison.         “Children,” She started. “You need to realize that they really do want to help us, sure, some refuse, but you must understand that they know what is happening to us.”         “Exactly.” A nurse said. “We know what happened, alright? We know all about the conditions your kind is in.”         “You don’t even know the half of it.” A changeling snared, receiving a glare from her queen.         “Changelings, please, let them help me, I will be okay. I am lucky to have someone help me after what I did anyway, and the last thing I want is for one of my subjects saying I don't deserve it.” She pointed to the door. “Now go.”         “But queen-”         She pointed to the door again and glared at them. The changelings sighed in defeat and walked out of the room, each one of them glaring at the doctors and nurses before shutting the door behind them.                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~         “Okay Stan...neah...we are...huff...almost there.”         “WEEEEEE!”         Carl flopped his ears to drown out the Stan’s screaming and continued walking to the hospital, he wasn’t sure why Stan was still on his back, but he knew the sooner he got rid of him, the sooner he would get home. “Come on now...besh...where is it?” He whispered.         “So, what do you think I should say, should I impress her with my juggling?”         “We can’t juggle Stan, the balls just fall through our hooves.”         Stan looked down and frowned. “Oh...OH! Can I impress her with mah mussels.” He flexed his non-existing mussels.         Carl strained himself to keep going. “Just...whew...be yourself Stan.”         “Well, how am I supposed to do that?” Stan put his hooves to his sides.         “I...Don’t...KNOW!” Carl flung Stan off of him and sighed. “You...bleh...you weigh a ton Stan.”         Stan stood up and swayed. “That’s because I am a ton, son...hehe. Rapping…”         Carl rolled his eyes and wrapped his hoof around the handle to the door. He knew that once he did this, it would finally be the end of this entire night and dry himself off. “Okay Stan, you ready?” He panted.         “Carl…” Stan went into combat stance. “I was raised ready.”         Carl shook his head “Okay then..” “For the love of Chrysie, don’t be full”         With full force, Carl opened the door and shoved Stan and himself into it. He wasn’t prepared for what he saw.         “Oh...no…”         Stan stood up and dusted himself off. “Whoa...now this is a party! Just look at all the buggies Carl!”