• Member Since 16th Oct, 2014

The Narwhal Assassin


Professional Shut-In, Armchair Orator, History Meme Fanatic, and Universal Annoyance. I argue about politics on the Internet to distract myself from the wreck that is my life.

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Found 90 stories in 59ms

Total Words: 2,184,493
Estimated Reading: 6 days

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Equestria is a magical place. Almost everything that happens in Equestria happens because of magic. The changing of the leaves in autumn is no exception. It's a beautiful, quiet thing, the sort of experience that makes some ponies really stop and think for a while.

Vinyl Scratch is one of those ponies.

Chapters (1)
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What do you do when you're a shy girl who has a humongous crush on one of your closest friends? A friend who's probably not into girls, let alone you? A friend who's just so beautiful without hardly even trying?

If you're Fluttershy, you bottle those feelings up inside until they burst.

But when Rarity asks Fluttershy to help her with a project, one that puts Fluttershy in a compromising position, the secret might not stay a secret for much longer. How it comes out though, that's a story worth telling.


This is a birthday present for my good friend VampDash. This isn't a ship I usually go for (I'm more partial to RariJack myself) but this is one of his top 3 ships.


Rated T for strong language, and steamy parts throughout, but nothing explicit. Borderline toward the end maybe.

Also, while this IS a free gift for a friend, here's a link to my Patreon.


Featured on 11/23/16

Chapters (1)
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Vinyl Scratch had been mute all her life. She's long since accepted that. It doesn't get in her way as much as one might think.

But, when it comes to telling Octavia how she feels, there could be no greater obstacle.

Chapters (1)
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It turns out that Sunset Shimmer's final letters to Princess Celestia before her exile were not filled with resentment or remorse.

There might have been a lot more frantic running away involved.

But whatever the case, it was definitely not Sunset's fault.

At all.



Cover Art designed by Novel-Idea from my original cruddy screencap!

Rated Teen and Sex for mentions of egregious sexual irresponsibility. No actual sex.

Contains minor Sunlight shipping. Much apologies.

Chapters (1)
T
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Days prior to the planned march on Rome, Benito Mussolini is anxious.

Oh yes, he has been given the go-ahead from the American ambassador and has thousands of blackshirts and some of the most avant-garde fascists behind him. However, this strength is deceptive, just like the confidence he made sure to wear in front of his fellow fascists; his own blackshirt commander told Il Duce that he would not act against the king if he resisted, and there is still the army loyal to the crown that is ready to fight on his word.

Doubt plaguing him, Benito is now at a crossroad: should he continue as planned or perhaps flee Italy altogether? He decides to take a night stroll to iron out his thoughts.

That is, until a freak earthquake hits Naples and changes history forever.

Proofreading done by NoMoreSanity, Demon Eyes Laharl, and Starman Ghost.

Also featured on Equestria Daily.

Chapters (9)
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Princess Luna, as Princess of the Night, is in charge of guarding dreams of ponies all across Equestria. However, she is also in charge of attending the dreams of ponies dying in their sleep. It's a painful and bittersweet process, and it has taken its toll on her. Will she be able to continue?

This story is part of Karamverse, an AU by Pioneering Author and Imperator Aetheris.

Note: by "Gore" I mean very vague mention of fatal injury.

Chapters (1)
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Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are best friends. They have been best friends for as long as they could remember.

But something happened one day. Something that made Rainbow Dash realize just how important Fluttershy really was to her.


1st person perspective from the eyes of Rainbow Dash.

A personal headcanon story that I've been mulling around for a while about Equestria Girls, that I finally got to writing. And you can thank the FlutterDash group's 'Change' contest for inspiring me to finally get it down into words.

Warning: Contains themes of abuse

*Featured October 3rd, 2016* Thank you for the feature~ It always means a lot to me!

Chapters (4)
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There's a lot of things about Cadance and Shining Armor that never quite made sense: their sudden appearance before the Royal Wedding; their suspiciously convenient suitability as rulers of the Crystal Empire; their oddly abbreviated pregnancy; and even their quick change of heart after Spike asked them to forgive Thorax.

Twilight Sparkle knows exactly how deep that conspiracy goes — she was there in the beginning, when her hive's queen created Shining. And she wasn't happy about it.

Finalist in the "Things Left Unsaid" December 2015 Writeoff! Rewritten and greatly expanded to fill in more backstory and to account for Season 6 canon.

Rated 'Worth Reading' by Titanium Dragon! "If [you like] the idea of a story which hints at a greater conspiracy behind the scenes which explains some of the plot holes we see in the series, you’ll likely enjoy this."
Reviewed by Matthewl419!

Cover art by Lo-23, using Twilight from "Deception is Magic" by Heilos.

Chapters (1)
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When I first met Princess Twilight, she was confused, lost. Adrift in an alien world. I thought of her as a rich eccentric, certainly a foreigner. I humored her as much as I believed her, really. Even when she dragged me to the very ends of the world in her mad quest for a mythic well, I really did it all for her. I figured it would help her find some closure, and we could go home.

I was right, in a way.


Based roughly on the game 80 Days.

Chapters (5)
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Teleportation. It is the best possible way to travel... As long as you don't think about it too much. As long as you don't ask where Twilight goes in that split second when she's neither here nor there.


The sound I listened to as I wrote it, available to you in order to give you the option of having the same atmosphere.



No relation to the other story with the same name, just a coincidence of both picking the same excellent title. I was unaware that the other one existed.
Dramatic Reading by Charles Spratt | Second Reading by TheDizzyDan | Third Reading by Crafty Arts | Fourth Reading by Stormy787
Russian Translation 1 (by Aloz) | Russian Translation 2 (by Doof Ex Machina)

Chapters (1)