Submitting to trials, tribulations, lies, misunderstanding, and pain. And all these things for one purpose. To Befriend the Night.

Coverart by: jjames10 (Tome Turner)
Thanks man!

Sequel out now: To Swoon the Stars

Princess Celestia has a problem. Or perhaps it's Twilight Sparkle that has one.

Every few weeks, an intoxicated Twilight Sparkle will randomly teleport into Celestia's castle in search of snacks or simply for a place to crash.

So what could this all have to do with Celestia in particular?

Now with a reading! HERE!

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

You are Ted, a human who has been trapped in Equestria for a while now. Under the advice of your pony friends, you've come along to join them in one of Pinkie's summer beach parties. While the ponies play their games, you were just planning on simply relaxing and enjoying the rays of the sun. But after watching the ponies play under sun in swimwear, some mixed emotions are brought out inside you. Have you been trapped so long in this world that you were starting to find your pony friends attractive?

Things get even more complicated for you when a pony you were not expecting showed up beside you. And she asks for a favor of you that you'd never thought you'd hear: help her put on her sunscreen.

But she's Princesses Celestia! The goddess of the sun! Why would a goddess like her need sunscreen?

Story inspired by the art of Tex. Lucky, lucky TexAnon.

A human and Princess Celestia wake up in bed together with head-splitting hangovers. They have no idea what happened the previous night, and they're not sure they want to know.

This is a stupid fic, but I had a ton of fun writing it. 'Fraid it'll only be two chapters long though.

"Humans.... Quite possibly the most infuriating mythical creatures in existence. If you ever have the 'luck' to meet a Human in your travels across Equestria, then you must be careful. Humans are extremely powerful creatures, some would say more so than Celestia or Luna, they are also more unpredictable than Discord. They can help you in a tight spot if you're lucky, or play nasty tricks on you if you don't hold the Human's favor. In my time I've seen a Human give a filly pounds upon pounds of gold, and the same one turn greedy ponies into gold. The only one I ever have seen 'face-to-face' was in my earlier years, he helped me repair my wagon when it broke down in Everfree Forest, by fix I mean a whole new one appeared not ten feet away, and the only thing the Human asked for in return was a spindle.... But be warned, never anger a Human, a trick or two in fair game is fine, but if you ever manage to truly anger a Human...... you'll be part of the small number ever to meet non-existence." - Star-Swirl the Bearded.

A silly nonsensical story, not to be taken seriously. Some chapters are not connected to others.

Luna challenges Anon to a battle of the minds. The Battlefield: His Dreams.

Narrated by Wuten the Narrator
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi

This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"

If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest

Every morning, Princess Celestia wakes up in terrible pain, and every morning, she chooses to endure it. Until one blissful day grants her the blessing of feeling normal.

Few things in her life have ever frightened her so much.

6th-place winner in the /fic/ write-off "Look, I Can Explain..."

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Reading by Skijaramaz

Now translated into Russian.

“Do Humans Hibernate?” Rainbow has a question on her mind. She's not entirely sure why it's bothering her so much. It probably doesn't help that the only human she could ask is the world's greatest liar.

Cover art by Pusspuss this random guy called ‘Pen Mightier’ who probably wishes he is Pusspuss but isn’t.

Marshal: (mɑː.ʃəl) noun….etymology - archaic: Middle English, from Anglo-French ‘mareschal’, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German ‘marahscalc’, from ‘marah’ (horse) + ‘scalc’ (servant). Originally referring to "a person in charge of the upkeep of horses or stable hand”. The station became a position of trust and power in medieval courts and went on to acquire its modern military usage.

One day a man wakes up in a pony's bed. For the next several days the two of them try to discover why such a thing happened.

They don't do a very good job of figuring anything out but they do cuddle a lot.