King Sombra’s dark influence was obliterated by the Crystal Heart, and the villain is well and truly dead. But when he attempts to steal the afterlife of an innocent victim, a human spirit is left hurtling towards Equestria, where this unfortunate soul is revived into the only vessel available: the reconstituted body of King Sombra himself.

Thus, a cheerfully oblivious alien is crammed into the form of the most evil and malicious being Equestria has ever known. Not that Shining Armor and Cadence know this, of course. As far as they are concerned, the King is back and he’s lost his fricking mind.

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After Celestia humiliates her at a dinner, Luna storms off and ends up snooping around in her sister's room. There, she stumbles upon the journal Celestia kept immediately after the banishment of Nightmare Moon.

Cover art by bunnish on dA.
This story now has a reading by Craft Arts. Go check it out!
Featured on Equestria Daily on August 22, 2013.

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.

Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

Featherweight has had a crush on Scootaloo for as long as he can remember, but he never did anything about it. That is, until the fateful day where he is given the challenge to kiss her before nightfall.

[2nd Person] [Silent Protagonist] [Pinkie Pie] [Romance]

After retiring from your music career as a talented musician in Canterlot, you move to Ponyville to live out your days in peace and tranquility. However, when a certain pink party pony forcibly involves herself in your life, you wonder how you're going to survive this onslaught of randomness, her obsession with parties, and why she can't keep her hooves off your hat.

Rated T for Mild Language, Suggestive Situations, and Black Top Hats.

I've spent the majority of my life tilling the desolate land in which I live. Every day, I wake up to move useless rocks from one location to another. This is an archaic line of work that my family has clung to for generations. It is a dull, grey existence.

Today, I have woken up in a strange room, lying in a bed that isn't mine. I'm surrounded by five mares whom I've never seen in my life. They claim to be my friends, and expect me to bring joy to the hearts of everypony.

Joy? I don't think I've ever experienced this for myself, so how am I supposed to thrust it upon others?

My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, and I'm not sure what to make of this situation.

"Who are you?!"

Lyra wrenched her hands together, strands of teal hair falling over her golden eyes. Suddenly, she seemed so small. She didn't answer. Couldn't? It hurt to remember, hurt to say. She was lying, or maybe it was the truth, and she really didn't know.

Cover art done by the amazing Conicer and bunnish!

Octavia is a high-class pony. Fine alcohol is her wont, and uncouthness her intense chagrin. Such is her surprise to find herself lumbered with an insufferable oaf of a DJ pony. However, sometimes these situations work themselves into a satisfactory ultimatum all the same.

Silence. The golden rule is silence. Silence, and obediance.

For years, you have trained as a royal guard. Now, thanks to the fortuitous return of Shining Armour, your old-time friend and Captain, you are promoted to guarding Celestia personally. What follows, though, is the discovery of a personal side to the Sun Princess that you could never have imagined, not even in your most vivid dreams.

In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.