Dante Thomas was a normal Marine. He fought like a demon and cursed like a drunken sailor in the Mojave dessert. How will a person trained to kill, survive in a world of prissy Technicolor ponies? The good thing is, he probably won't have to. After finding a secret in the Everfree that will turn the entire world upside down.

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Now with a discussion blog. And a dramatic reading, by the awesome Dropbear271 Possible spoilers.

A letter sits upon a table where it had not just a moment before. A golden glow lifts it as it unfurls in front of the reader.

Let us see here, how to begin?

Well, I suppose the best way to do so is with introductions. I am Prometheus and while I was, as one might say, tied up for quite some time I noticed your world. I have to say it's quite interesting, but unfortunately stagnant as well. So Miss Celestia I, being the patron of progress that I am, have sent someone your way. He is not a creature native to your world, a species I personally have a great deal of interest in, they're ambitious little scamps. I am bestowing a gift upon him as I send him, one he will in time learn to master. It is my hopes he brings progress to your world, but as the past has proven on many an occasion the best intentions can at times have the worst effects. We'll just have to see how it goes won't we.

Sincerely,
Prometheus

Ha, not as smart as the bastard thinks he is. I managed to snag the paper from him. So "Miss Celestia" my name is Coal and apparently I'm supposed to stir up some dirt. I'll admit I know just as much as to what is going on as you do, but if he's the Prometheus I'm thinking of, things might be a little more complicated than he'd let us believe. Crap, he's coming back. Ummm... Why did I just waste time writing Ummm?

Winter is coming... I'm disappointed with myself if that's the best I can come up with.

My name is James Clark, and I am a Private Military Contractor. No, not Mercenary. Yes, there is a difference, but that's beside the point.

Ok, where was I? Ah yes, I was just entering my office in Downtown Houston one afternoon to hear a job offer. When I got there, I found a beautiful, robe-wearing woman waiting for me. Now, in this day and age, most people would find that strange. I didn't for two reasons.

1) In this line of work, you run into a few crazies. If I had a dollar for every nut-job I turned away, I could buy a small European country.

2) It was Halloween. Hell, I was on my way to a party dressed in a replica suit of Veteran Ranger Armor from Fallout: New Vegas, complete with gas mask and real riot gear I borrowed from a friend on the SWAT team. I was gonna win the costume contest for sure!

I'm getting off topic, aren't I? Anyways, this weirdo offered me a job without going into much detail. No location, no objective, not even a dollar amount The only thing I got out of her was the promise that I would be saving thousands, if not millions of lives.

Every instinct told me to turn the job down, and yet I still accepted it. Maybe the idea of playing hero again had its appeal.

God, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

After an alarming trip through a black hole in his fridge, Nigel M. Chalmers finds himself in a colourful peaceful country populated with a throng of friendly ponies... in the body of one of their nation's worst enemies. Of course it all goes to pot.

Follow him as he attempts to make sense of his new body, makes new friends and maybe even finds love...
Or not, after all this is Nigel we're talking about, all he's probably going to do is insult everyone and drive everyone insane.

Follow the gripping tale of action, comedy and romance.

Will Nigel make it back home in time for the office Christmas party? Will he avoid a painful death at the hooves of multi-coloured Equines? Will he finally be re-united with his beloved cheesecake?

You can only find out by reading this fic, so fasten your seatbelts and prepare to get wrecked.

Edit: Well, someone did a great reading of the first chapter, thanks to KaBar41 for the reading.
The Reading of Chapter One

I wrote this fic as a side project to Nigel M Chalmers, Emperor and saviour-or-destroyer to try my hand at a transformation story. To all of you who hate the whole "Turned into a pony and makes friends with everyone" I'm going to shatter your misgivings like 300 kilograms of armoured Biped smashes a window. There will be violence in later chapters but for now it's just pure comedy.

Featured on the 12/5/2014

Coverart done by Avatar of Madness

This story is a sequel to Nigel M Chalmers, Emperor

(15/10/2015) Turned status back to incomplete pending an Epilouge and Alternate Endings chapter as per comment suggestions.

After being banished by Celestia for his misdeeds, the alien Emperor of the Crystal Empire is back... and out for revenge.

Emperor Chalmers is not a happy space man. After being stabbed in the back by Equestria, he was sent to the depths of the Underworld. Kicked out for causing too much trouble for the wardens, Nigel now has the chance to take back his empire and show Celestia just how disappointed he is with her.

This time things will be different. This time he has friends.