Guardian of the Everfree
Chapter 8
I woke up, slowly, with the sun raising into my eyes. I lifted myself up and reached over to my left and grabbed my canteen. I raised it up to my mouth and elevated. I waited a few seconds until my brain registered the fact.
Fuck.
My canteen had somehow lasted three days and now it decides to run out? Brilliant. Hopping up, I dragged my rifle up with me. I had wrapped the sling around my arm before I went to sleep. That way if something tried to take it, I would wake up.
Okay, first things first, I need water. And while I'm at it, some food. I'm fucking getting tired of MREs. And this forest seems plentiful in small game. Having seen quite a few in my short time here. I walked over to the TARDIS box. I would need a .22. I don't want to shoot small game with 5.56, 7.62, or .45. Hell, even smaller pistol calibers would leave me eating lead instead of meat. But I'm not stupid so as to go into an unknown forest with only a .22, and a .45. After I grabbed the .22, which was a Winchester Wildcat, nice rifle. I looked for a rifle chambered in 7.62x39. I came out with an AK-47. It wasn't an AK-74 due to the fact that its mag was distinctly tapered, whereas the 74's was much straighter. The bayonet attachment point on the 74 is a lug, whereas the 47 had teeth. This 47 has a stamped reciever. The evidence being the rivets on the reciever.
I closed the lid on the TARDIS box and headed out. I crossed the bridge being as careful as I'd been before. I entered the tree line. Keeping an eye out for small critters. After about three minutes, I spotted a squirrel, sighted the rifle, and pulled the trigger. It fell, and I went to it. The other squirrels had scattered. When I got to the it, I had to smile. It was a grey squirrel. It had more meat on it than a red squirrel. The reds tend to be gamey. I picked it up. I wasn't too worried about diseases, this world seems too fluffy to have something like the plague in it.
This continued on for about five more shots. I came upon a clearing and walked out. I immediately wished I hadn't walked into this clearing. About thirty feet from me, a massive beast stood. It looked like a lion fucked a bat, who's child than fucked a scorpion. It was looking straight at me. If it charged, I may be able to unsling and sight my AK. I then took notice of two smaller versions of it, the creature had it's wings furled. Oh, fuck. Its a momma with it's babies.
I slowly crouched, while walking backwards. Standing straight up would make me taller, therefore making me more of a threat. And if I pissed her off, I'm not even sure if 7.62 could kill this thing fast enough. The creature kept looking at me, but never moved from her spot. She eventually unfurled her wings, and allowed her cubs to start playing again. I quickly left the area, after I was sure she wouldn't chase me.
(-)
I had been walking for about five hours, keeping an eye out for more game. I had come across quite a few odd animals. One of these being wolves I had dubbed "Timberwolves". Why? You may ask. Simple, they were made of fucking wood.
Wood.
I had come across a pack of them, and when they saw me, I can safely assume they can't smell since they're made of wood, and they had begun advancing towards me. However, a warning shot from my .45 stopped them, and they turned tail and ran. Well then… they're smarter than the ponies. I had also found a stream. Thankfully, it looked clean enough to refill my canteen.
I came across another clearing, being more careful this time, after my last accident. I edged up to the end of the treeline. Nothing was in the clearing except for a statue of an equine. I walked up to the statue and inspected it.
It was a unicorn, with it's tail in a scythe shape, with the tail somehow fanning out into flatness. Something seemed familiar about this mare. The equine had a shocked look on it's face, eyes wide. It had cloth… saddlebags, for lack of a better word, on it's flank. And on it's stifle was a damning piece of evidence. A stifle mark of a six sided star.
This is the same fucking mare that attacked me! But, why is there a statue of her in the middle of the forest? A religious cult, perhaps. And why does it have saddlebags? Maybe an offering. Meh, doesn't matter.
Time to get some childish revenge. Both out of spite and just vengeance. You don't attack me and get away with it. Before I got my revenge, though. I took the saddlebags off of the statue, as they had things in them, and stuffed them in my pack. Now, I set my .22 down next to me. I stood so I was aiming at her flank, unzipped my pants, and did my business. All while whistling.
I finished up with two shakes, zipped up my pants, and was about to pick up my .22. But, a bush in the direction that the statue was staring at started to rustle. I quicky slid the AK from my back and sighted it at the bush. After a few moments, four chicken heads popped out. Chickens.
And then they flew out. With snake bodies, and bat wings. Really? They landed in front of me, and started staring straight into my eyes. We stood there for about three minutes. I was trying to figure out what the fuck they were doing, and they were intensifying their gaze with every passing second. Eventually, I decided I didn't want to stand there all night, and took all four of them down with short three round bursts. I walked up to them. Their bodies were too mangled to work for food, so I left them there.
I heard rustling behind me, and whipped around. The AK already sighted, expecting to see some more weird creatures. But I was greeted with nothing. Keyword: nothing. Not even the statue was there.
It was at that point that I remembered something I had learned in English class, while we were reading "The Book of the Dun Cow". Those were cockatrices, and they could turn people to stone. And that statue is now gone. My brain put two and two together. And I didn't like the result.
FUCK!
I just pissed on a sapient Equine. Brilliant! I'm still a virgin, and the first thing I do that could be misconstrued as sexual, I did it to an Equine! Am I a sex offender now? Fuck it. It doesn't matter, not like I'm going to be introduced into their society anytime soon. But, if they didn't hate me before, they do now.
With that embarrasing phase gone, I picked up the .22, and headed back to Citadel. Maybe I could forget about it in the morning.
dafuq
3846573
I don't know.
. . . Ha ha ha!
3846672
What'd you think of it?
Did I go overboard?
3846677
You did go overboard, that's why it's funny.
3846753
Whew, I'm relieved. It was hard for me to write that part.
Twilight's POV is going to be interesting!
3846779
It'll probably be up tomorrow.
This chapter is awesome
3846787
Thank you very much. May I ask for your initial reaction?
3846793 I laughed. A lot. A lot a lot a lot a lot. Especially because I've never really liked sparkle
3846814
So this was just the best thing that has ever happened?
3846820 Well... if she saw the whole thing happen. Then yes
3846831
Oh, don't worry. She was discord stoned.
3846837api.ning.com/files/GfnwsxHuiEHCDebzyZuUAxOCG0fZWjZt1Ai6iF1ohbpucymZWz07VicBYq-rFQdLDFVrjBKqW83Hn5QwMuPWow__/you_sir_are_awesome.jpg
3846677
Honestly, I would have done the same. Well, beside pissing but more like. . . grabbing a piece of chalk and drawing dicks on her face.
3846844
Thank you very much.
3846861
But pissing is much more funy.
3846872
yep
3846870 And thank you, for the story
3846874
You are very welcome.
Well, because you ordered nicely, I favorited this because it has all of my favorite elements
Rascim, violence, and good 'ol 'Murica.
3846885
Well… thank you very much.
Good chapter! The end made me laugh.
3847130
Aren't they allowed to bring in their own sidearms? And I thought the USP was allowed?
3847151
Thank you very much.
3847130 nope. Issued firearms only.
BTW, the difference between the 47 and 74 is pretty easy. 47 shoots 7.62x39 while the 74 is in 5.45x39.
If you have any gun questions jus t ask. Sold em for nearly a decade.
3844146 here its like hey its -2 lets go swimming.
Quite detailed when it comes to some parts. Language barrier is nice touch to this story too, I am currious how it will progress further.
well that was a ultra fuck up
and I am not toking about the chapter all to gather but what he did
My reaction is as follows.
geishaface.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/cmt-medium.gif
This could have only been better if he looked her right in the eye while doing it.
Does this make me wierd?
3848128
No, no it doesn't
3847178
Thank you, when I was writing that bit, I couldn't the word to come. I thought neglible didn't sound right
3847199
Didn't even think of that.
3848890 Anytime
Sure Dante Thomas marking your claim on Twilight Sparkle is totally not sexual.
3851500
Glad I could make you laugh.
Because you asked nicely for why I liked this, it was because of how I prefer HiEs with badass marines in them. Also TARDIS crate.
Was I supposed to put the why I liked it comment there?
3851748
Yeah, its fine. Thanks for the feedback, by the way.
Sir, I would like to respectfully demand you to continue. That is, if you don't mind.
3851915
Don't worry, next chapter should be up tomorrow.
You asked me what I thought about this, so I shall.
I haven't quite decided what I think of this fic yet, on one side its entertaining, on the other... well its hard for me to put it in words... perhaps its the way you have him go about things. Anyways I am in the middle and will give my final thoughts when this story either finishes or it happens to lose my set of interests (even if it does I would probs stay around and finish it anyway :P ).
I think you should work on your pony writing though, they seem just a tad out of character for this type of fic.
I totally called the statue thing/cockatrice..... LOLZ
~AnimatedGamer
3851984
It's tomorrow.
Marines
3875410
I already linked to The Warrior Song (see first page)
Some more mistakes
Drop the 'the'
Those are backwards, furled means rolled/folded up unfurled is open.
I like it because it is the first one that does not try to be frendly whit the ponies whit in the first five chapters