Prologue to chapter 4 of "Guardian of the Everfree"
Rainbow Dash rushed back to Twilight.
"Twilight! Twilight!"
Twilight turned to face Dash. Ever since the other day when the hairless ape had appeared, doing what Twilight had assumed was looking at Fluttershy's cottage. She later figured out that it was spying. She had seen it slide what looked like binoculars into a pack it had. Probably just copying what it had seen it's master do.
She was going to knock it out with a sleeping spell, and then have it transported back to Canterlot for study. However before she could, the ape stood up.
It was larger than any ape she had ever read of. And besides the fact that most apes couldn't stand straight up. But this ape, it stood completely erect. It was holding a black tube. It hadn't been paying attention as to where it had been walking. The reason Twilight knew this? It tripped over her.
The creature pulled itself up, and when it saw her, he looked surprised. Twilight was surprised as well. This ape's face looked like a ponies. Twilight got over her surprise and quickly recharged the sleeping spell she had been charging before the ape knocked her over. The ape looked even more surprised. She released the spell, but was surprised as it impacted it's chest and did nothing. It looked at her for about a second, before pulling the black tube up a bit. The ape then proceeded to pull something, the tube letting out a loud sound for about a second. By the time Twilight had recovered from the deafening assault, the ape was long gone. Several ponies were rushing around the corners towards her. Fluttershy was cowering behind her house. Dash was the first pony on scene.
"Twilight are you okay?" Dash asked.
"WHAT WAS THAT?" Twilight literally yelled.
"I asked are you okay?" Dash yelled back.
"DID YOU ASK IF YOU ARE GETTING PAYED?" Twilight responded, rubbing her ears.
"NO, I ASKED IF YOU ARE OKAY." Dash was beginning to get annoyed.
"OH, YEAH! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK?" Twilight responded.
Dash was having none of it. She called Nurse Redheart over. After Nurse Redheart had trotted over, she asked her to take a look at Twilight's hearing. Redheart nodded in response.
"Miss Sparkle, could you please follow me?" Redheart curtly asked.
"DID YOU SAY COULD DO TEASE PILLOW ME? THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"
"FOLLOW ME!"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?"
And now here they were. Twilight's eardrums had been burst, but had been fixed. It was an easy fix, but something troubled Twilight. This creature, because it definitely wasn't an ape, hadn't been affected by her magic. She had heard of magic resistant animals before, but not one that could shrug off a sleeping spell like this one did.
"That ape that attacked you! It just took down an alpha Diamond Dog!"
What? There was no way. Not many creatures would willingly attack an alpha dog, even manticores tended to avoid them.
"Did it do it with it's firebow?" Twilight asked.
"No, the dogs initially charged him, but he brought out two firebows and utterly destroyed the dogs. But then he started walking around and shooting a smaller firebow at the dog's skulls. And the alpha charged him from behind and tackled him and his firebow flew from his hands. The alpha then bit the ape's forehoof and then the ape pulled a knife and stabbed the alpha in the chest. And when it's forehoof was free it cracked it in the nose. And then they did some more fighting and eventually the ape kicked the alpha in the head and he just layed there. And then the ape pulled an even smaller firebow and shot it in the head!"
Dash had managed to say that all in one breath. Twilight was impressed, but also wanted to puke. For a pony, that was extremely violent. It was showing in Dash's face as well. But again, four firebows. Having one was bad enough, but four. And all of varying sizes.
"If he is injured than he should stay in the Everfree. Where did you say this was, Dash?" Twilight asked.
"Everfree castle."
Twilight reassured everypony it would be fine and to go back home. But still Twilight had this nagging feeling. Maybe she should do something more.
She ignored this feeling and started walking back to the library as the sun was going down.
(-)
Guardian of the Everfree
Chapter 4
I was scrounging around in the TARDIS box, looking for the gun I was hoping I could find. The sun hadn't risen yet, but I wanted to get to the equine settlement and back as soon as I could. Ah! There it is! The .300 whisper. An integrally suppressed rifle. I like this box. I kept my .45, but found a silencer for it in the box. A .45 is quiter than smaller rounds, as it is subsonic. Yet it retains more power than the other rounds. As I was grabbing my pack and getting ready to be oscar mike I noticed something.
I grinned. I love that box. While my back was turned it had spawned three new things. A fresh set of clothes, black cargo pants and a black t-shirt. There was one other thing in this set that made me extremely happy. A fresh pair of boxers! I quickly stripped myself of my cammies and old underwear and replaced them with the new set, retaining only my white t-shirt. I'll wash my other clothes later.
The other two things, a bag of coins that appeared to be made out of gold. Putting that in my in my left leg pocket, I then turned to the other object. A pair of NVGs. I'm seriously beginning to think that damn box is sapient.
I headed out into the tree line.
(-)
I had been walking for about two hours at this point. I had been marking my path by carving arrows into trees. The sun had risen, and I had suddenly remembered that I hadn't eaten anything since the day before yesterday.
I sat down under a tree, after having slung my pack down to the ground. I pulled the only MRE I had brought with me. I was halfway done with the main course when I noticed something to my right. I set my food down and stood up. There was definitely something there, and it was glowing. I walked about nine feet until I reached the spot. There was something in the ground.
I dug about half a foot into the dirt and was greeted by an amazing sight. Glowing crystals, actual glowing crystals. Firegems. Thats what I'm naming these.
After collecting all of the firegems, twenty in total. I found out that when put under fabric it ceases to release light. I finished my food and continued on.
(-)
I was finally here. After two more hours, I had come to ridge where I could recon. I went prone on my stomach and crawled to the edge. I already had my binocs out and rested with my legs spread apart to form a V and holding half my chest up with my elbows.
There was an apple orchard to the West of my position. Along with a house at the edge. They probably have some sort of alchohol there. To the north was a three level tiered house. I don't know why, but I had a feeling I should search there for the thread I need to sew this damned fucking wound up. I would have to do it at night. So I laid there. Almost an entire day left until the sun goes down.
it is still rely good and keep up the good work KaBar41.
I like this story because he has a good doing to thinking ratio. Doesn't think about things too deeply and instead focuses on doing things to survive. Also, HUMANITY, FK YEAH!
Also, the box need a name. I think Boxy or Cache is a good name, anyone agree?
LOL, you took my idea! I am completely fine with it!
You need an editor!!!!
3815595
I think he should build an altar for it and give it sacrifices. Some kinda twisted ark of the cove enant style way.
3815696 I agree. ALL HAIL THE TARDIS BOX! BRING FORTH THE SACRIFICE!
I thought the .45 ACP was easier to suppress since it's subsonic.
3815708
In return it gives us everything we need.
The Doctor's TARDIS is in the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters yay!
Now lets see where this goes!
3815692
Why? I edit my own stuff. If I go back in a chapter and see something wrong, I fix it.
3815708
I know what he will do to Blueblood now.
3815602
I was originally calling it the Doctor Who box, but then I saw your comment.
3815766
Its confusing. From what I read both .45s and 9mms are quieter. Common sense dictates the .45 as louder because it is a heavier round. But the 9mm breaks the sound barrier. But the object breaking the sound barrier is so small it should be negligible.
My brain hurts. I'll figure out and fix it in the days to come.
alright you better have an explination for why the box knows everything he wants... also discord would be extremely over done... just sayin'
3820998
It isn't Discord. And it does get explained later on in the story.
3821205 THANK YOU. Discord is good and all but he's so over used for anything slightly caotic...
Edit: Fixed... for some reason fim thought i was pressing ctrl
3816651 .45 is easier to suppress but they do make heavier 9mm Subsonic loads. .45 is (usually) naturally subsonic. Anything supersonic is not hearing safe even suppressed fyi.
Oscar Mike-Mike means minute-so he would be ready in a minute.
I need that box, or one like it
That is... incredibly arbitrary.
You tend to repeat words. "I put the gun to his head and shot his head, scrambling his head." Might want to spruce it up a little, EG "I put the gun to his skull and pulled the trigger, scrambling his brain."
"a loud sound for about a second." Try "let out a deafening roar". or just "roared."
They have the party cannon, they obviously understand the rudiments of guns (trigger, barrel, projectile, etc.)
"No, the dogs initially charged him, but he brought out two firebows and utterly destroyed the dogs. But then he started walking around and shooting a smaller firebow at the dog's skulls. And the alpha charged him from behind and tackled him and his firebow flew from his hands. The alpha then bit the ape's forehoof and then the ape pulled a knife and stabbed the alpha in the chest. And when it's forehoof was free it cracked it in the nose. And then they did some more fighting and eventually the ape kicked the alpha in the head and he just layed there. And then the ape pulled an even smaller firebow and shot it in the head!"
"And then he... and then he.... and then he...." again, repetitive. needs work. The blow-by-blow was unnecessary. Also, try to incorporate how the characters act and talk into their speech.
Spruce up:
"The dogs charged him, but he pulled out two of those mini-cannon things and, like, utterly destroyed them! Blam blam blam blam blam!" Rainbow Dash mimed the creature's actions, waving around an imaginary 'mini cannon' and bucking and jerking her shoulder. "And then when they were all down he--" she gulped a little. "He took one of the smaller cannon things and... and shot them all in the head." She shuddered. That had been ruthless. "He was just popping the last one when the alpha jumped him. The alpha almost had him but he got out a knife and stabbed the alpha right in the chest!
"The alpha kept coming though. So the guy curled up those weird monkey paws and punched him in the face! Hit hard, too. Then he got the upper hoof and kicked it in the head. That put the alpha right out. Bam, DEAD. Not even breathing. Then he shot the alpha in the head, too." She pantomimed the killing shot. "Doosh. Right in the skull."
Twilight grimaced in horror. This creature was brutal... and thorough.
If the box is spitting out all these supplies, why is he going to town to steal stuff? All he has to do is wait and the box will spit out something useful he needs-- like a first aid kit.
The box is a bit of a deus ex machina. You need to give it some limitations, have him figure them out early on, and stick to them. Like, it can only produce stuff out of a certain military catalog, for instance. Or from a particular army-navy surplus store.... Or it can't produce food or medicine. Or it can only produce new bullets/ammo/weapons/gear once a day. Or it has a limitation on raw weight-- only so many kg of gear at a time.
Or (this is my favorite idea) he has to specifically ask the box for something --- he has to drop a properly filled out requisition form into the box, and he gets it all the next day... and maybe the box doesn't actually give him what he requests or gives him the wrong stuff (just like logistics in the real military, lol.)