One of the many reasons the Cutie Mark Crusaders have their reputation is the group's tendency to ignore whatever the adults are saying -- or worse, to hear just enough to get them in trouble. So when Cheerilee finally covers pony sexuality on a warm, lazy, sleepy day, the trio come away with exactly enough notes to collectively believe the following:

Ponies going into heat is real.
They'll never be interested in sex at any other time.
They're going into heat once, for an hour and a half, and it's going to happen tomorrow.

This can only end well.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

(Rated C for Crackfic.)

Faced with an incompetent captain, orders that make no sense, and a winter of boredom and terrible coffee, the choice for Stoker was to either like it, or lump it. So he chose mutiny instead. Unfortunately, life is seldom as simple as all that, especially in the frozen north of Equestria. Before the day is out, he will have to face a royal visit, negotiations, a terrifying new weapon, and history that wants to be repeated.

With a complete chorus of soldiers, sailors, tractor axle makers, princesses, terrible bars, crossed wires and big mistakes, you could do a damn sight worse than read The Battleship Ponytemkin.

It's Hearts and Hooves Day and once again Applejack finds herself uninterested in the festivities. This year, however, Applejack is shocked to hear a strange voice "in the sky" that narrates her life and is pressuring her into romantic feelings for Rarity. Applejack is at the mercy of this unknown source as she is pulled to carousel boutique to seal her fate with Rarity in one sweet simple kiss.

An athlete like Lightning Dust is no stranger to doctor visits, and a nurse like Speedy Recovery is no stranger to receiving patients. It would take something pretty cataclysmic to throw them both off.

Or maybe all it takes is three bolded words on a psych results sheet.

This is an entry in the Snippet Series, an anthology of old oneshots I (and my good buddy Str8aura) wrote based around interesting pics I found. New ones will be posted every Thursday for the foreseeable future. If you like this one, check out the others!

Ponies desire many things. Freedom. Happiness. Money. Fame. Love. Or all of the above. Usually they find something to be satisfied with, through hard work or a bit of serendipity. But a few find that destiny has a sense of humor. And not the good kind.

For those who have nothing and seek everything, well, that's when destiny breaks out the biggest jokes. Zephyr Breeze, meanwhile, has zero clue about any of this. That is, you'd best be careful what you wish for... because you just might get it.

Implemented very minor edits 2/3/20

In order to ensure Prince Blueblood does not threaten the security of the royal line of succession, Princesses Celestia and Luna devise a plan to remove the problem. Unfortunately, this involves removing Blueblood's balls.

In order to save his stallion-hood, Blueblood calls upon his friend and mane-stylist, Zephyr Breeze, to save him. Their solution? Get hitched.

Warning: This is a wacky fic, so there will be crazy character pairings and everyone is going to be at least a little out of character. Really, a lot of them will be way out of character. You have been warned.

Rated teen for swears and innuendos.

Over the course of a single day Lavender Breeze's life was destroyed. Regretting all the things she's lost, she longs for closure.

Then in her darkest moment, she comes face to face with the thing she hates the most, the thing she blames for everything that's happened.

14 Equestrian Code § 31 Refusal of Cuddling Invitation. "Anycreature who refuses to cuddle another, so long as the invitation is polite, commits a Class B Felony, punishable by a maximum of 8 months in prison, a fine of 10,000 bits, or both."

New cover art by my good friend DivineRoyalty.

EDIT: 2nd place featured day of posting, 3/23/20!
EDIT: And 1st place featured on the morning of 3/24/20! Wohoo!

Castling is a special move in chess involving one of the player’s rooks and the player’s king. The move consists of moving the king two squares towards a rook on the player's first rank, then moving the rook to the square over which the king crossed. After this move, the king and the rook end up just next to one another.

And thanks to a friend’s kindness, a certain calculating, chess master filly would have a chance to end up closer to her princess than she ever thought. But can a filly like her truly leave her past behind to find another way? Can you learn to trust another when manipulation is your destiny?
Can a chess player like Cozy Glow learn to be a pawn?

Vegans. Science has determined that they exist, but what do we really know about them? Some say they always face magnetic north and wander around in the forest at night foraging for wolves. All Anon knows is that they aren't one, but Twilight insists on treating them like some sort of grass-eating deviant.

Push a filly hard enough, and they will push back. Anon might be a tiny horse now, but they will get some good bucking food no matter what it takes.

Written for The Anonfilly Contest!

Content Warning: FLESH