Faced with an incompetent captain, orders that make no sense, and a winter of boredom and terrible coffee, the choice for Stoker was to either like it, or lump it. So he chose mutiny instead. Unfortunately, life is seldom as simple as all that, especially in the frozen north of Equestria. Before the day is out, he will have to face a royal visit, negotiations, a terrifying new weapon, and history that wants to be repeated.
With a complete chorus of soldiers, sailors, tractor axle makers, princesses, terrible bars, crossed wires and big mistakes, you could do a damn sight worse than read The Battleship Ponytemkin.
Chapters (8)
I thought of adding a shipping tag, but then I realised everyone would hate me forever.
Thanks go to Cloud Wander, Ezn and Sagebrush for their kind words and help, without which this story would still be poorly-formatted, mis-spelled and without proper punctuation. I'm forever in their debts. Thanks too go to Bonaxor for the cover art, which can be found here.
Canterloo refers to Peterloo, rather than Waterloo, Trotpuddle is Tolpuddle and the Swing Riots star as themselves. Of course, they didn't happen quite like that in Equestria, but they were probably something similar.
Looks interesting, but if you have cover art, why isn't it on the story?
Uh-oh, Blueblood is the worst person to put in command.
1474794
Malignancy. Something wrong with the link or the picture. I have no idea, really.
1474810
It was him or Trixie.
Okay, colts! Sing the Marseillaise, followed by The International!
Magnificent. And they all lived happily ever after (or, at least, the greatest happiness for the greatest number, based on their abilities and needs).
1475773
Don't you mean the Chevallaise?
1476033
Utilitarian fairy tales never did catch on, did they?
1476039
Bwahahahaha!
I prefer "The ones that actually mattered lived happily ever after." I write stories for an anarcho-syndicalist society . . .
1476077
You know, "The ones that actually mattered lived happily ever after" describes most stories. Worryingly enough.
1476084
Very true.
Bravissimo! Well written.
" . . . at the mouth of the river Vulga . . . "
Is that where you get Vulgar Boatmen?
OMGOMGOMFG! someone ponified one of the great Russian classics!
MARRY ME! NAO!!!
sorry
Any other classics gonna get ponified?
1477993 I thought the river was named Volga, and not Vulga.
Interesting tale. Hmm....
Noticed a single syntax error, when Keel notes that he likes his chances against a pony who thinks that keeping a knife against her throat is a sound tactical decision. You have both keep and put there in that sentence. Other than that, no errors that I saw.
I enjoyed the story's build-up quite a bit, but was completely confused as to why the absolute monarch couldn't just order the Field Marshall and Commodore to Cease and Desist. Or stripped them of their rank. Or... something. It just feels like a big plot hole to me that never quite gets resolved. The epilogue makes up for quite a bit, though. Thanks for the read.
Also, you got me to re-listen to the soundtrack for The Hunt For Red October. So yeah, thanks for that too!
1487400
Caught that error. And thank you for your comment.
And yes, I see what you mean. I suppose I thought the Field Marshall and the Commodore were mad, and beyond answering any kind of call from Celestia. The build-up for the assault was all done hush-hush (pretty easy given how the big C and the big L were otherwise tied up) so there was no way to pull the plug before it went too far. I suppose the very fact I'm writing this comment demonstrates I screwed up, though.
1487635
It's not so much a problem during the actual build-up; while the motivations for the Plot Devices are awfully unclear ("We can't have that"? We can't have what?), it's kind of cleared up with the final villain speech about the order of society, etc. However, the entire time I was reading, I was expecting to see a scene where Celestia confronted the Plot Devices in all her regal majesty, the moment she understood their intentions. Why would the immortal ruler of a country and Mistress of its military, when told that the army that she commands is attacking a city without her orders or consent, say that she would remain in the town hall instead of taking charge? I understand that you were trying to imply that the influence of the land was making her cautious about exercising her authority, but I imagine that having the commander-in-chief meeting the strike team at the train platform and ordering HER troops to stand down would have nipped that scene in the bud. I was expecting more of an open rebellion against her authority by the military at this point. I dunno, it's just the way I saw it. Aside from that plot-hole, I found the actual scenes surrounding the battle very well-written and tense. I really enjoyed it. Now if you'll excuse me, I think that I'm going to find the soundtrack for Red Orchestra somewhere. You've put me in a mood for Russian choruses.
Well that was a super fun read.
There were a couple errors, but my only gripe was I think you may have over done the conversational tone (just a bit, a few steps too much in certain areas). I can't find the specifics now, but at times I would get lost after a sentence or two, but that may have been my problem, and would be unsure what and by whom events were transpiring.
The descriptions of actions and mannerisms of the characters was very flavorful and fun. I felt there was good use of having the narration tint with the perspective of a specific character's perspective. The Celestia-Revolutionary committee conference in the town hall was especially enjoyable.
1615960
Well, glad you liked it.
I suppose I'm more used to telling stories in front of an audience, so I wrote like that. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.
Thanks for the feedback!
I can foresee no possible way for this to go wrong. Let's see what happens next.
I have now read all the stories you have currently posted on Fimfiction. All are excellent. Keep up the good work.
1740909
Haha, you make it sounds like a chore. Welp, more should be coming soon enough either way.
This story definitely deserves more views than just 150 or so.
I added this to the Battleships group
and this is why they started converting boilers to run on oil