Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Cozy slammed her head into her cloud mattress, repeating that one word. How could she have been so stupid!? She had everything going her way, but one moment of weakness had ruined everything! The only pony she had met who she could have manipulated was gone! She was back to square one now; she had absolutely nothing!
No, actually, she had less than nothing, because now she didn't even have a pony to talk to. The only pony who could give her some sort of interaction every day. The one pony who could have been her friend and ally. The one pony who helped her stave of the dreadful isolation. Her lifeline from slowly cracking under Twilight's prying, all of that was gone, and she had only herself to blame.
And blaming herself she did.
With one final exasperated sigh she slumped into her bed face down and laid still. She could not even be angry anymore; she was too tired, her mind felt too blank. She did not even think about the fact that Twilight would probably punish her somehow. She did not think about anything as she laid there. She did not cry, but she did nothing else either. Her mind simply felt apathetic and empty.
Time became a meaningless concept. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" It could have been minutes since Rumble left, or it could have been hours at this point. It did not matter. There was nothing left for Cozy in this tower, and no way out. Because of one moment of weakness, she had lost her only way out. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" She would stay here, in this tower, hating Twilight but even more so herself, until she was an old, gray pony and she died. That was it. That would be the end of Cozy Glow's miserable tale. Nopony would even remember, and if they did, nopony would ever care to hear such a boring, meaningless tale.
Cozy sighed meekly. She wanted to cry, but she just could not muster the energy. "Stupid, stupid, stupid."
A shy knock sounded on her door. She knew she ought to be ready for a shouting match with Twilight, but she just could not find the willpower for that either. She just cast a sullen glance at the door and rolled over so she faced away from it. She looked out at the beautiful skies outside the window. Was it already the next day?
"Cozy? Can I come in?"
Cozy just sighed. She did not answer.
The door opened behind her and hooves stepped up to her bed. "You awake?"
Cozy nodded a little without looking back. Hopefully Twilight would just leave her in peace soon.
"I spoke to Rumble this morning. Let me start by saying I'm not angry with you, even if I had hoped you would not lie to him like that. I think he really wanted to be your friend, you know."
Cozy did not answer.
"Anyway, he told me you liked the Wonderbolts. As you probably know, my friend Rainbow Dash is one of them."
Twilight probably expected an answer, but Cozy kept silent.
"It's a little known fact that the derby raceway in Cloudsdale has a special princess loge," Twilight said. Her voice sounded a little strained with keeping the conversation going alone. "Its secluded from the other bleachers by high walls so nopony can see in. If you want, I could take you there for the derby and we could watch it together. Do you want that?"
Cozy shifted to look at Twilight, half expecting some cruel joke to get her hopes up. However, Twilight looked sincere and hopeful, and while Cozy did not trust her, she did not think Twilight was such a good lier as to hold that face if she was trying to fool her. "Why are you being kind to me?" Cozy said without most of her normal belligerence. She was too tired to care about being angry with Twilight now. She was plenty angry with herself.
Twilight smiled sadly at her. "When you have lost the beginning of a friendship like that, you need something to smile about. Please, Cozy? For your own sake? You won't even notice I'm there with you."
Cozy rolled over to the other side again, away from Twilight. She really really wanted out. Any out, as long as she got to feel real wind in her wings and fresh air in her throat again. And no pegasus her age would ever complain about seeing a Wonderbolt derby live. She had never seen one, even if she had often wanted. She never had the bits, and nopony to take her there either.
But if she did go, then she would have actively depended on Twilight. She would have accepted her help and her mercy. She did not want that. Cozy had lost her chance at becoming Empress of Friendship, she had lost her alicorn power and she was reduced to little more than an unruly foal locked in a tower. Cozy's fall from grace had been long and cruel, but she still had one thing. One thing that she had managed to keep through all her hardships: her dignity. It was the one thing that made Cozy Glow… still be Cozy Glow. If she accepted Twilight's help, then what would be left of the old Cozy? The pony who struck fear in the immortal princesses themselves?
Nothing.
Instead, she would just be a fussy filly, whose biggest threats were her annoying tantrums. Accepting Twilight's help would be betraying herself in the worst way possible.
But she wanted out!
Twilight sighed. "I can't force you, Cozy. But it is not good for you to stay up here. Please… try to think about that, if you can." She heard Twilight slowly walk out.
"Wait…" Cozy peeped. "I'm coming. Just… go, please."
Normally, she would not have succumbed. She was a tough filly, but after the fiasco with Rumble she was not herself. Right now she did not want to be tough, she just wanted something, anything to distract her from the fact that she had failed. She wanted out! She wanted to see her idols for real just once, rather than on posters or on the newspapers.
She was weakened, rattled. She could not resist Twilight's terrible temptations… and that, finally, made her bury her head in the bed and silently cry.
Now she had nothing left. Twilight had broken her.
She did not know if it was real or imaginary, but when Twilight had left she felt like somepony had stamped a branding iron against her flanks, like her own cutie mark revolted against her… her very destiny was fracturing.
Who was she now?
The rest of the day and night passed in a gloomy daze. Cozy laid on her bed, staring into the roof, or was in the bathroom looking into the mirror. She just could not quite recognize the pony she saw, even if she could not pinpoint the difference. Same curly blue mane, same cute freckled smile, same salmon coat. Same cutie mark, whatever it meant now. She did not want to think about that, it was just too much, too big for her. She was just a filly; her biggest challenge ought to be her homework or if another foal was mean at school. She could not handle such an existential question.
The next day, Cozy left her room for the first time since dinner the night Rumble came to her. It was now more than a day and two nights since she had eaten. Twilight had asked her multiple times, but Cozy refused. Now though, she had breakfast for the first time with Twilight still in the room.
Twilight, however, sat quiet for Cozy to eat in peace. Cozy was silently thankful for that. Two nights and a day of psychological meltdown had left her mind tender and fragile. It was all she could do to keep some facade of calm up when near Twilight. She did not want to talk. She was hungry and just wanted to eat. She briefly wondered if Rumble still cooked for her. He was not stupid; he had probably figured out that any food he made for Twilight also went to Cozy. Maybe he had asked for another position… maybe the idea of feeding her was more revolting than the great honor of cooking for the Princess. The food suddenly felt a lot less flavorful in her throat. She kept her face neutral though; she would not show any more weakness!
"Cozy?" Twilight said carefully as Cozy drained her glass of juice. "I will take you to the derby today as promised, but I will make some rules that I expect you to obey. I don't want you to miss the race, but if you try to escape, then I have to restrain you. Understood?"
Cozy nodded. She knew there would be something like this. No way Twilight would let her be free for real.
"Rumble told me you like Fleetfoot the most," Twilight said.
"Wind Rider," Cozy said in a small, bleak tone. "Because he will do anything to win."
"Oh… well, I could not find any Wind Rider merchandise, so maybe you could abide being a Fleetfoot fan for one day?"
Cozy just shrugged.
"As an extra precaution, you are going to wear these," Twilight said and magicked up a white, windswept wig and tail plus a small turquoise flag with two cloud-white F:s on it. "Typical Fleetfoot stuff. Nopony will think twice about you. They are also enchanted with a tracking spell and so they cannot be removed."
Cozy's heart sank, even if this was not surprising either. She had nursed a small hope that maybe maybe maybe she could slip away in the crowds or something, but of course Twilight would take precautions. She just shrugged again and surrendered to her humiliating fate. She looked down in the table and pulled the wig over her head and fastened the tail to cover her own. Twilight magicked a pair of saddlebags on her back and stuck the small flag down in them.
Twilight herself donned a rainbow-colored wig on her and fastened two colorful pom-poms to her hooves. "Ready to cheer for them?" Twilight asked happily.
Cozy just shrugged yet again. She could still remain here… her dignity could still be saved. She opened her mouth, but Twilight was faster. "I'll just take that as a yes," she said. Her horn ignited and they were both enveloped in a cascade of light. When they cleared, Cozy saw her childhood home for the first time in many long years: Cloudsdale. More specifically, she saw one of the Wonders of Equestria.
The Circus Altus, one of the oldest buildings still standing (or more accurately, floating) in Equestria. It had been opened by Commander Hurricane himself after the unification of the tribes. It had been renovated many times since, but the foundations were still the original clouds that the ancient pegasi toiled to connect. A humungous, oblong building with only one side anchored to the city proper. The rest hung outside of the main cloud as to not take up too much space. It was an opulent building, constructed from overlapping arches on lavishly decorated columns. Cloud sculptures depicted hundreds of pegasi, mares and stallions, flying, vaulting, sparring with swords and hooves. Rainbows cascaded down in discrete chutes and disappeared down into the clouds below. More than a hundred flags with the Wonderbolt emblem flew from flagpoles that lined the top of the circus, all the way around it.
Scores of ponies stood in lines to be allowed entrance through the four large arched gates that took up the entire short end of the building jutting towards the city. However, in the middle of those four gates there was a wide staircase without any roof above it. It seemed to split the building straight down the middle. Nopony went there, and two pegasi in official-looking uniforms made sure to shoo away anypony coming too close.
Even in her despondent state, Cozy was stunned in awe at the Circus's grandeur. Of course, every pegasus pony had seen it on pictures and most had seen it in real life too; it was in their capital, after all. But not Cozy. She had never been to this part of the city.
Murmurs brought her back to reality. Many ponies stopped nearby them and looked curiously at Twilight, whispering to one another. Cozy could see her blush profusely. "Let's go," she said quietly to Cozy and ushered her towards the magnificent staircase.
"Princess Twilight," one of the official-looking ponies said happily. "We hoped, even if we did not quite dare to believe you would grace the Circus Altus with a visit. Celestia and Luna only rarely did, but it is our honor and privilege to welcome an alicorn to Cloudsdale. Please, come with me."
"I can bring guests, right?" Twilight asked as she and Cozy fell in behind their guide.
"You make the rules, Princess. Commander Hurricane dedicated this arena to Equestria, and you are Equestria personified. You can do anything you please."
"Oh… well, then I will bring a guest," Twilight said, somewhat uncertain.
"Very well," the guide pony said. As they reached the top of the stair, Cozy saw that there was another stair, leading slightly downwards into a semicircle of secluded seats surrounded by large cloud walls as to hide whoever sat there from the bleachers around. The loge was also very near the racing area; closer than any other seat for the best view. Twilight and Cozy headed down the stairs into the loge proper.
"Here are your binoculars, enchanted to follow the Wonderbolts in flight and record the race in memory projection crystals, which will be yours to keep, naturally." The guide handed Twilight and, after a moment's hesitation, Cozy, a small case. "The derby begins in twenty minutes. I hope you will find it a spectacle befitting your glorious stature."
Cozy saw Twilight roll her eyes. "Thank you."
The guide-pony bowed and left them via the stairs.
Cozy flapped her wings and hopped up to hang on the railing separating their loge from the racetrack. She could see the entire circus from here, and even if the inside was less decorated than the outside it was still an awe-inspiring building. It must be more than a kilometer long! She saw some spots on the bleachers had been paneled with wood as to allow non-pegasi to watch the races, and a small landing ramp for hot air balloons to land on the far end of the building. In the middle of the racetrack there was a large cloud platform where a few pegasi were rigging up a scoreboard and megaphones for the referee. Other spectators also filed in and flew to and fro to find their places.
"It's really beautiful," Twilight said. "I have never actually seen the Circus Altus before, even if I have wanted to. It just… never happened."
Cozy did not answer but left the railing and sat down on a chair, as far from Twilight as possible. Twilight sat down on the centermost chair as it was larger and a bit higher than the rest, evidently made for an alicorn. She looked a bit uncomfortable up there, to Cozy's meager enjoyment.
They sat in silence, waiting for the show to begin. Cozy spied out over the crowd. Rumble should be out there now. He had talked so longingly about this event. Of course, spotting one foal among thousands of ponies was impossible, but she still found herself looking, discreetly. Given the cloud walls and positioning of the dais, not to mention that everypony would be looking at the racetrack rather than at the loge, it was unlikely anypony would even see her, but she did not feel like taking unnecessary risks. If there was anywhere in Equestria she was especially hated, then it was in Cloudsdale.
"Fillies and Gentlecolts! Welcome to the Circus Altus, and the first Wonderbolt Derby of the season!" The circus erupted in a deafening cheer. It took Cozy a few moments to notice the stallion that had appeared in on the middle platform. "I'm Focal Point, and I will be your commentator for this fine day! Today's derby is a Cloudchaser event featuring the Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta Wonderbolt Teams! Every team will have all its seven ponies, and they will all fly against one another at the same time! Each event will consist of fifty laps around this very stadium, and every flyer's time will be tracked! Is today the day when Wind Rider's old record will finally be beat? Or will his mastery stand yet another test as the next generation of Wonderbolts takes up the mantle and strives to be the very best!? Let's find out!"
The audience cheered again as an aide approached Focal Point with a small bag. He reached inside and withdrew a note. Cozy had read about that. To keep the audience from leaving once their favorites had flown (most commonly the Alpha squad), the order the teams competed in was randomized.
"Team Gamma, to the starting line!" Focal called.
"Team Gamma are the weather masters," Twilight said. "When it comes to sculpting clouds or making light shows, they are the best. I wonder how well they fly." Cozy did not answer, even if she could not quite retain her gloomy mood. The air of celebration and enjoyment that everypony emanated affected her too. The seven Wonderbolts of Team Gamma took their places for the race to begin.
"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for! The daredevils of the sky! The aces of all aces, the finest flyers in Equestria! The Wonderbolt Alpha Team: Iiiiit's Spitfire!"
Cozy did not even see where she came from; one moment the starting line was empty, and then a pony had appeared there with her signature ember mane and tail. Cozy was not the only one caught unawares though. Only after Spitfire had appeared did the crowd cheer for her. But that cheer easily surpassed any other so far.
"Iiiiit's Fleetfoot!"
It happened again. They were so fast it was impossible to even see them coming. As the rest of the arena cheered, Cozy flitted from her chair and clung to the railing again. Maybe she could see a little better there?
"Iiiiit's Soarin!"
More cheers. Rumble would be among those who cheered now. Cozy still had no clue where they came from.
"Iiiiit's Rapidfire!"
"Iiiiit's Surprise!"
"Iiiiit's Misty Fly!"
"Aaaaand it's Rainbow Dash!" Twilight cheered and waved her pom-poms around. Rainbow Dash was the only pony who Cozy could she coming. Maybe she was not as fast as the other Wonderbolts after all? Or maybe it was because of her Rainbow contrail?
All seven best flyers now stood on the starting lines. "Are you ready!?" Focal Point asked.
The crowd answered with a roar of cheers.
"I thought so! Now without further ado… Wonderbolts, on your marks!" Cozy saw them settle in a low, relaxed stance awaiting the starting shot. Since the princess dais was just next to the starting line, they all stood just a little distance away.
"Get set!" Cozy saw their wings tense and unfurl as far as they were able. Fleetfoot's tail twitched a little.
Focal Point bucked a cloud just behind him, eliciting a thunderclap! "Fly!"
Cozy could feel the wind from their wings as they started. She had to blink several times, and by then they were already at the other side of the circus. She picked up her binoculars.
Since Cozy had never seen a Wonderbolt derby before, she had spent much of her childhood trying to deaden the feeling of loss as best she could. Mostly that meant reading up on the derbies. Suddenly, all that knowledge came back to her as she got to see it in practice.
All seven ponies had contracted from a line to a cluster, fighting a game of micrometers for the best spots in the inner curve. They did not want to be in the lead. The lead spot had a much tougher wind resistance and was tiered out far quicker than the ones behind. But being too far in the back made it hard to overtake the opponents. Cozy could see all those things at play now. The leaders constantly shifted in small loops and undulations to trick another pony into flying past them and bear the burnt of the wind. Much to Cozy's delight, Rainbow Dash's lack of experience with racing at this level made itself known quickly. Soarin and Fleetfoot both picked up on Rapidfire's attempt to break from his lead spot and followed him backwards smoothly, suddenly leaving Rainbow at the front of the pack. With an off-kilter move that Cozy could not quite follow, Surprise appeared just behind her, comfortably flying in her turbulence as well as blocking off the obvious way for Rainbow to get away from the lead.
The whole exchange had not taken more than a few seconds, and the seven ponies came rushing back at speeds not too far below that of sound. The Circus's homestretch and backstretch were long and straight, but evidently not long enough for Rainbow to break into a Sonic Rainboom, especially not when hounded by the rest of the Wonderbolts.
As they rushed past her, Cozy actively had to hold on to the railing lest the slipstream would have knocked her away. She looked at the stopwatches that documented the lap times and the total times.
Everypony was just barely under twelve seconds for the first lap. Cozy was not sure how long each lap was, but it must be a few kilometers at least. Cozy was awestruck. It was one thing to read what their speed was. To witness it was something else entirely.
"This is going to be an exciting race if I've ever seen one!" Focal Point called. "Spitfire sure has her work cut out for her if she wants to remain Captain for another season! I don't think her adepts will be content with playing second fiddle for much longer! But it's not for nothing she is the Captain! Does she still have an ace up her sleeve to stave off the young hotspurs? Only time will tell, and what a glorious time it will be!"
But that time was running out fast. It did not take them fifteen minutes they had completed forty of the fifty laps. It was only then the race began for real; not even the Wonderbolts had the stamina to fly at their highest speed for that long and slowly they began to stretch out from the cluster. Rainbow was one of the first who started to flag. By the cunning of her rivals she had been forced to fly in the front for most of the race, and it was starting to show. Slowly she was overtaken and shoved to the back of the pack where she would not have the power to recover a lead spot.
Now that spot was highly coveted. Whoever was in the lead when the race ended was the winner, and towards the end the leader had to defended their spot jealously. The longer the race went on the harder overtakes became with the failing stamina on everypony. The Wonderbolts broke past the finish line and stormed into the final lap. Cozy cast a quick look at the scoreboard: Spitfire still maintained a threadbare lead with three of her adepts just behind her: Rapidfire and Soarin, with Fleetfoot narrowly clinging just behind them. The other three were effectively out. Cozy brought her binoculars back up.
"Spitfire is still in a narrow lead! Will she be able to hold it!? Will this be yet another victory for her!?" Focal Point shouted. His excitement affected Cozy too. She leaned forward, trying to imprint every moment of what she saw into her memory.
They approached the far-end curve, just before the homestretch. Cozy gasped when she saw Rapidfire sling himself forward in a reckless jolt, trying to overtake Spitfire on the inside of the curve. "Not if Rapidfire has anything to say about it! He is going all in to win!" But there was not enough space for another flyer there!
Rapidfire spun around, flying with his wings held vertical! He was squeezing past Spitfire and oh so narrowly avoiding to go out of bounds. Cozy could almost swear they touched for a moment. But Spitfire was not about to see herself overtaken so easily. She piled on hidden reserves. Cozy could see her scowl in determination. She was choking Rapidfire; he could not accelerate or turn when flying sideways. Unless he backed down, he was going to slam straight into Spitfire as the curve straightened out!
"Fillies and gentlecolts, feast your eyes! It's the Wind Rider Shear from Rapidfire! But is he going to pull it off!? It was that gambit that got Wind Rider his record! Will it make history again today!?”
Cozy's heart hammered in her chest as she pressed the binocular tighter against her eyes. Rapidfire was continuing; he did not back down! They arrived at the curve, and he still continued forward! He was not backing down!
Spitfire relented and flapped hard with her wings to gain altitude. Rapidfire passed under her…
Cozy balked in chock.
Where did Soarin come from? He just… sort of appeared when Spitfire left her position, and Rapidfire careened straight into him. It was like he had been trying to overtake Spitfire from the outside of the curve and proceeded to glide into her old spot without realizing Rapidfire was doing the same thing on the other side! Because he knew nopony could fly on the other side of Spitfire!
She planned it! She lured Rapidfire and Soarin into breaking their concentration! They fell behind. Not far behind, but enough that they could not threaten her anymore. But it was not over yet. Fleetfoot was still there! They broke out of the curve at breakneck speed, flying just beside one another.
Now it was just Fleetfoot and Spitfire on the homestretch. Straight and narrow. No fancy flying or underhanded tricks. Now it all came down to speed and what stamina they had left.
Spitfire was faster! No, Fleetfoot caught up! They were neck in neck! Focal Point shouted something, but Cozy could not care. Her entire consciousness was focused on the two ponies flying at near sound-speed towards her! Spitfire was pulling away again! No! Fleetfoot still matched her!
Fleetfoot was passing! No, not passing! Just inching a little bit further!
Cozy held her breath! She could not tell who was winning!
!!!
"WE HAVE A WINNER!!! AND HER NAME IS FLEETFOOOOT!" Focal Point roared!
A thunderous cheer erupted from the crowd, mixed with some groans from disappointed Spitfire supporters. Cozy felt like she was waking up from a dream herself. The excitement, the mood, the speed… It was far better than she had ever imagined. She did not know how or why, but she joined the cheering too.
She felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned around.
Twilight smiled tenderly at her. "There you are… it was so long since I saw you smile, Cozy."