• Published 23rd Mar 2020
  • 6,389 Views, 81 Comments

Legal Action - CategoricalGrant

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Epilogue

Suddenly, there is a knock at the door.

Can you get that, sweetie? I’m in the bath!

“GROSS, MOM!” Ami yells back. Quickly readjusting her pajamas, she walks toward the stairs up from her basement abode, wondering who could be coming to their house at such a late hour.

Ami opens the door and gasps.

“Greetings!” Princess Luna announces regally. “I see I have the correct residence- you are the young, upstart praetor from the trial yesterday, are you not?”

Ami manages a quick bow and nods profusely. “Y-yes, your highness! I’m sorry that I...uh, heh, clearly was on the opposite side as you, but-”

“Nonsense!” Luna declares. “The way you handled the case was magnificent!”

Ami’s ears perk up. “You really think so, Princess!?”

“Absolutely!” Luna answers. “The way that you pretended to be on his side and then systematically demolished any chance he had of winning the case…” She smiles wickedly and shivers in pleasure. “I have not seen such legal prowess since my days clerking for Pegasopolis’ proconsul!”

Ami smiles nervously and looks around. “Yep, that was...uh...totally intentional and planned...how I lost…”

“There is a national appeals court position open in Winneapolis, and I would very much like to appoint you to the seat.”

Ami pursed her lips. “I see...This is a big decision, Princess Luna. Would you mind if I discussed it with my family, first?”

“Of course.”

“MOM!” Ami called up the stairs. “I JUST GOT A JOB, I’M MOVING TO WINNEAPOLIS!”

Oh honey, I’m so proud of you! Let me get the camera and Dad and I will come and take some pictures!

“NOT NOW, MOM! I’M TALKING WITH A PRINCESS!” Ami screeches back. She shakes her head and turns her attention back to Princess Luna. “Sorry, she is just the worst!”

“Indeed,” Luna replies with a nod.

Author's Note:

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Comments ( 48 )

commits a Class B Felony, punishable by a maximum of 8 months in prison

Technically, a felony is a crime with a minimum of a one year punishment.

10143437
That's a general rule, and it's also Equestria so

10143437
Equestria is kinda more lenient on punishments. The death penalty doesn't exist and you could be the most evil villain ever and get off scott free of all your crimes simply by agreeing to reformation and community service.

10143437
A felony is an offense that results in the confiscation of the convicted person's land and goods, possibly including other punishments up to death.

In the United States, it's actually more than one year; exactly one year or less is a misdemeanor.

Since when did refusing to cuddle somepony became a crime?

That Cover Art.

She looks as if somebody whispered behind her back, that she's fat.

And she overheard it.

:rainbowlaugh:

10143472
But on the other hand you had 1000 year prison sentences that usually transcended physical form....5 times at least?

Equestria isn't exactly consistent in it's severity levels

10143608
If it makes you feel better: you succeeded in making Ami a lovable dork. :twilightsmile:

10143584
Since This story came out I presume.

10143676
Thats only for the most dangerous cases. Even then reformation is an option. The problem is that they would probably have them a minimum of a week with Twilight Sparkle. Many villains would probably see Tarturas or turned to stone for a thousand years as far more bearable.

10143823
I love the way you think.

Was funny, but the ending killed that. Rarity basically gets to own physical rights to his body and can do whatever she wants to him without consent, and he has no xhoice but to go back her and let her molest him. Yeah, so much for friendship. Might as well just have her violently rape him in front of the whole town.

Dan

The law doesn't say the cuddles must be immediate or on-demand. He was well-within his rights to put them off until later!

Well that happened.

10144270
Did we read the same fanfiction?

oh god i hate the idea of being required by law to have physical contact with people. that just. yike.

10144688
As with all things, reverse the genders in this story if you fail to see how some people might find it as distasteful.

10145307
She already got him to kneel and asserted her dominance publically, what else did she need really? This is how certain people act, they humiliate you openly, force you to kneel and then offer sweet words to re-assure you once you have been forced to bend to their whims. That is how they keep you close for their needs.

Then again it is a comedy so what do i know.

10145196
Didn't it end with Rarity realizing that she was in the wrong? And then letting the guy actuality chose if he wanted to cuddle with her, or not?

10145307

"What made Rarity have a change of heart?"

That's easy: She realized that she was being an asshole.

10145337
Yes, after publicly asserting her dominance and then flippantly offering to pay the fines she forced on him. Do remember what she was asking previously:

“And you have to hold my hoof as we leave the castle so everypony can see we’re going to go cuddle!” Rarity adds, smirking in triumph.

It was all about power, and her playing the 'oh noes i am sorry and i was so bad' afterwards means very little, she first brings him to face financial ruin to sate her pride and needs and then waves it all off after he has been put to his place and gives him a 'choice' to cuddle with her? If she would feel any amount of true regret she would not ask it from him.

Saying sorry is easy once you have forced someone to face ruin for your own amusement, but it is not worth anything really.

10145355
10144270
Nice to see that people continue to take silly little pony fiction too damn seriously, Cheers!

10145740
I’m glad I’m not the only one stunned by these comments. I was (briefly) afraid that I was the problem.

Someone hand Anon the Codex of Equestrian Customs and Civil Law so Anon can chase around and flatten the assembled ponies, princesses, and dragon.

Really Ignorance of the law is a defense here as it seems Anon was deprived of any fore knowledge of this statute, something a Dignitary of a foreign government should have before being deployed. Also sham trial is a sham. No competent defense representation, Luna's Jury Tampering and Judge Intimidation, effective denial of Diplomatic Immunity, and excessive fines and punishments.

I want to cuddle with Amicus. Please write more about her. <3

10145740
How could anyone take this seriously? It's obviously comedic in nature with numerous references.

10143489
And Trixie is a 10 on a terrible day.

10146530
My thoughts exactly!

Rokas #30 · Mar 25th, 2020 · · 7 ·

10146097
You are. Rather, your writing is.

I get it's supposed to be a fun little joke, but you took it too far. Way too far. This isn't funny, it's just infuriating. Rarity acted like an entitled, spoiled brat, and there was nothing to alleviate that. Plus I don't think you understand that physical contact of any kind being enforced is some seriously demented stuff. I know cuddling isn't the same as sexual intercourse, but it's still the principle of the thing, that no one should be forced into contact or relationship behavior against their will.

It's just not funny, man. It's pretty messed up. Now maybe if you had something to alleviate the insanity, maybe a lawyer that was competent to defend Anon and set up some jokes at Rarity's expense (because she desperately needs to be taken down a peg or three in this narrative) or Spike screwing up as badly as Ami then there might've been some redeeming quality to it. As it stands, you've basically got a whiny, spoiled brat of a female demanding obedience and being entirely smug about it right up until the end. The "apology" rings entirely empty and false, as she never, NOT ONCE, had her behavior backfire on her.

Absolutely thumbs down. I didn't laugh, and by the end of it I just wanted Anon to throttle Rarity. Because that's the kind of character you've created for her (as well as Equestria) here.

10146525
I second that 😊

At least the court system works to reign in tyranny by the Alicorn overlords. Luna demanding he be sent to her Cuddle Dungeon sent shivers up my spine. And under my chin and that spot on my back and...uhm just let me show you where to put your hoofs. In the interest of justice, of course.

Okay, so a few qualifiers before I go too much in depth:
Rarity is not my favorite character, but I still like and respect her.
Nobody knows much about actual laws in the Friendship is Magic universe.
I tend to laugh at most things, but this made me laugh hard at some points. Good on you.

That said, Rarity didn't get any backlash from her actions, while he got both hurt socially and humiliated for literally saying "I can do it later". That may be humorous for some, but it only brings to mind Stressed Eric, a profoundly unfunny show where a guy gets beaten down by life for living. I feel this effect would have not been there if there was a moment that shows she realizes her mistake, but the way it was written makes it seem as though she manipulated the law to get what she wanted, prior commitments or personal desires be damned.

Will still like and favorite for the rest of the story, since Ami, Twilight, and Luna were very funny.

Comment posted by zerofireking13 deleted Mar 26th, 2020

10148077
I think another epilogue, explaining just what exactly made Rarity go from, "I'm taking you to court to, I'm sorry and you have every right to say no, I want to make it up to you." Would quell a lot of the fires here, context is key and we receive so little of it to explain her change of heart. Causing it to feel like her apology isnt sincere, it just comes out of left field and blindsides us. She went from calling Anon a ruffian, to calling herself a nasty old mare with literally no explanation. This is just advice from one writer to another, take it if you want to.

10146097
Its not that the story is bad, but improperly catagorized. The writing is good, it just doesn't work as a happy or funny story. If tagged as a Dark Comedy then it would be funny, because the general logic behind that kind of lightly morbid humor works a bit differently.

This was actually a highly amusing story! I loved it!

This is exactly the kind of fanfiction I should be reading at 2 AM.

I have no words. But it was enjoyable.

Thank you I guess.

V8

10147095
That is the damn point dummy

V8

10143584
In his universe

If it weren’t for the “Random” tag I’d be mad that you dared sully the name of the Marshmallow Goddess, but this story was pretty funny. But you know if that were a law Rarity would take full advantage. Though one thing I don’t get... does that mean Spike could just get cuddles from Rarity whenever he wanted too?

10295662
If Ami were actually a competent lawyer, she would have absolutely brought it up. In fact, most of this stuff wouldn’t hold up in real court anyway, but whatever, it’s not not supposed to make sense :raritywink:

10674906
I noticed the ‘Esq’, is there a JD among us? :eyes:

10676160
No, the Esq. is just part of the username. I’m not actually a lawyer :twilightblush:

Que buena historia

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