Dear Diary,

I have selected my new name for this job: "Fleur De Lis."

The target's name is Fancy Pants. He's rich, he's well-known, and most importantly, he's single. This is going to be a breeze.

NEW PRINCESS ATTACKS GRIFFONSTAN IMPORTS

The Equestria Daily can exclusively report that newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle became embroiled in an argument with the Griffonstani trade minister about the inferior quality of griffon quills, alleging that "they just don't hold ink as well as pegasus quills". Import markets tumbled overnight, threatening the solvency of numerous Equestrian quill merchants. Princess Sparkle could not be reached for comment.

(When you're done, bookplayer has a fun "Let's Read" commentary version!)
(Also, GhostOfHeraclitus wrote a prequel from the perspective of Dr. Spinning Top!)
(Also also, now available in Spanish thanks to Spaniard-Kiwi!)

After long years of being a slave in Zebrica (it's been a few months since they last played pirates), Captain Dinky has escaped her bonds (is free this weekend), and has returned to the sea with her loyal crew (Scootaloo, Twist, Featherweight, and Snails). But she does not come empty-hooved: she has part of the legendary map that leads to the fabled Lost Treasure of the pirate Espada Noche (which is apparently somewhere in town)! Now, Dinky and her band must battle rival pirates (Pipsqueak, Applebloom, Rumble, Snips, and Bee Bop), and the Royal Equestrian Navy (Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Alula, Sweetie Bell, and Firelock) in order to follow the map to the ultimate treasure!

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo have found love... with the same filly: Diamond Tiara. Neither of them are sure how approach this situation: they both want to win Diamond Tiara's affections, but are they willing to put their friendship on the line to achieve it?

What's worse is that Diamond Tiara can't accept either of their feelings, because she herself has fallen for both of them, and is unable to chose between the two fillies that are slowly driving her mad, both during and after school!

Bluebell Berry attends Canterlot High and is living an ordinary life with friends and a boyfriend. That all changes one night when she accidentally finds herself in the Crystal Empire surrounded by guards. Forced to stay as a pony for 30 moons, Bluebell must learn how to be a pony and figure out what to do. A helpful guard may just be able to be the guidance she needs over these long weeks. Unfortunately trouble may be brewing in the north, grudges left unchecked will cause a dangerous game to begin for the Crystal Empire. Can they defeat this growing threat? And will Bluebell ever be able to return home? Will she ever want to?...

Note: Sunset Shimmer never happened in this so no one from Canterlot High knows that there is a portal to Equestria. (hense the Alternate Universe tag)

Every story has its beginning, every song has a start, and every love has its first date. For Twilight and Dash, this is theirs.

Rainy weather and a looming deadline drive Twilight Sparkle up the walls and Spike out of the tree. Only Pinkie Pie can save the day, by introducing the reluctant librarian to an unexpected new hobby. Astoundingly, sex does not ensue.

Apple Bloom has a sister, Sweetie Belle has a sister, and heck, even Scootaloo got one recently. So why should Diamond Tiara be the filly without one? In fact, hers should be ten times better than all of theirs combined! And with her father being the richest stallion in Ponyville, she should have no trouble getting one!

... That is if he wasn't such a stingy, mean father. Thankfully Diamond Tiara's a smart filly and knows how to get what she wants.

How do you deal with the unexplainable? Some just accept it for what it is. Others seek tirelessly for the truth, examining every possibility. And some decide it doesn't actually exist. Only Twilight could have the sheer gumption to decide that magic is impossible... and be right.

Cheerilee suggests to Filthy Rich that a distraction might be just the thing to keep Diamond Tiara from so often picking fights with Apple Bloom. Rarity is more than happy to take Diamond Tiara on as her new apprentice to help improve the filly's attitude.

But a certain little sister isn't quite so happy.