My Little Pony's Little Ponies

by Baby Boo

Blu-Ray Bonus: The Unofficial Punchline

Deep in the caverns beneath Canterlot, in a grotto where the hoof of pony had never trodden, sharp spars of gleaming crystal stood silent watch over a pool of glass-clear water. The phosphorescent blue glow of the pond sent shimmering ripples of light twinkling around the gem-lined walls as another droplet of water, gathered with geologic patience at the tip of a stalactite above the pool, burgeoned and fell, leaving behind one more tiny cluster of stone molecules on the ancient growth.

For hundreds of thousands of years the silence of the cave had been broken only by the occasional tectonic rumble and the steady, hourly drip of the water.

Until there came a day, late in the second year of Luna's return, that would forever be remembered in the slow, silent thoughtlike patterns of the crystal mountain as the one time anything ever happened in this chamber.

At first it sounded like a distant breeze, echoed from some dark connected tunnel. But it repeated, again and again, growing louder each time; a noise like some giant creature having trouble breathing, wheezing in strained exhalations, but never breathing in, just a steady voosh-voosh-VOOSH.

As the sound got louder, an object began to be present. It faded slowly into view, transparent at first but growing more opaque with each heaving whoosh, until the sound faded away and a rectangular blue box stood on the pearlescent sand beside the pool as though it had always been there. It was about eight inches tall, three or four inches on each side. Square shapes like windows had been drawn crudely with marker on each of its faces, and written across the top as an identifier was the only word the box's previous owner knew.

With a metallic click, the front of the box popped open and swung outward, tracing a quarter circle in the sand.

A grey-furred head poked out from within the box. Mad red-and-yellow eyes looked around cautiously. Nopony in sight. Not even the faintest whiff of any living creature. Perfect.

The Discord doll didn't so much walk as flow, body trailing like a serpentine decoration out onto the sand. With a bright grin he snapped his fingers, surrounding the two pony dolls inside the box with a green aura as he spent a fraction of his precious power reserve towards something completely frivolous. It wasn't tactically sound, but really, sometimes one just has to be oneself, even if one technically wasn't.

The brown earth pony and the grey pegasus stepped out of the box, giving the crystalline chamber and their patchwork master curious stares. The replica Draconequus cracked the knuckles of his mismatched forepaws and chuckled.

"Welcome aboard, my little ponies," he said in a voice smooth and charming as a radio announcer made of butter. "I suppose you're wondering why I've called you into existence today. It's simple; I've got a lot of work to do, and it's just not the same without minions to exposit for. If you'd like to continue existing, all you need to do is whatever I say. Got it?"

The ponies nodded. Neither of them felt entirely up to speed, but the gist was clear enough.

"Goooood. Now then, our first order of business is to find a nice reliable wellspring of natural magic..."