> Treasure Hunt
>  by RainbowDoubleDash
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Sack of Neigh Orleans
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------



TO THE HESITATING READER

If sailor tales to sailor tunes,
Storm and adventure, heat and cold,
If schooners, islands, and maroons,
And buccaneers, and buried gold,
And all the old romance, retold
Exactly in the ancient way,
Can please, as me they pleased of old,
The wiser youngsters of today:

—So be it, and fall on!  If not,
If studious youth no longer crave,
His ancient appetites forgot,
Kingston, or Ballantyne the brave,
Or Cooper of the wood and wave:
So be it, also!  And may I
And all my pirates share the grave
Where these and their creations lie!




A few months ago…

Last week, it had been an ancient castle dating from before the founding of Equestria, with noble defenders within holding off a horde of griffins and minotaurs and diamond dogs. A few days ago, it had instead been a great mountain, with a fabulous prize said to lay at its top for any brave enough to scale it. And today, it was a fortress in the Southern Sea, set next to the vital trading port of Neigh Orleans that, rumor said, was about to come under attack by Barbarneigh pirates.

In fact it was none of those things, it was just a tall, easy-to-climb tree in the Whitetail Wood with branches that had grown in such a way as to create a kind of natural fort. To the ponies of Ponyville, it was known as the Castle Tree.

“Alright you maggots, listen up!” Scootaloo exclaimed as she trotted imperiously before the line of foals that had arranged themselves on the ground inside the drooping boughs of the Castle Tree. “We’re here to – ”

“I don’t think ponies talked like that back during the Barbarneigh days,” Dinky interrupted.

“Yeah,” Snips said. “It was a hundred and fifty years ago…”

Scootaloo pointed at Dinky and Snips both. “Sedition!” she exclaimed. “Sweetie Belle, clap them both in irons!”

“We don’t have those,” Sweetie Bell pointed out.

“Well…fine. Snails! Flog them!”

“Huh?” Snails asked, looking up. He had one hoof raised, as crawling across it was something small and white and possessed of too many legs for most ponies to be comfortable with. “Sorry. I found an albino woodlouse!”

“Snails!” Scootaloo cried. “This is no time to be playing with bugs!”

“Woodlice are crustaceans,” Snails objected. “They’re not even insects. And only insects in the hermiptera order are ‘bugs’ anyway.”

Scootaloo stared a moment, before sighing, covering her eyes with one hoof. “This fortress is gonna fall to the Barbarneigh pirates,” she predicted.

Dinky puffed up her chest a little. “No it won’t!” she declared, stepping out of line and looking over the dozen other foals. “Everypony to your battle stations! Get the water balloons ready! Scootaloo, you can climb the best, so you can go and keep a look-out!”

Scootaloo frowned as everypony else burst into action. “I wanted to be in charge…”

“Sorry,” Dinky apologized. “Next time you can be. I won’t say anything. What’s flogging, anyway?”

“I dunno,” Scootaloo admitted as she scampered over to the Castle Tree’s main trunk and climbed it. Dinky followed, though not as high, instead making her way over to a natural gap in the branches that let her look out from the tree. The Castle Tree was situated on the edge of the Whitetail Wood; the forest to their back was the ‘town’ of Neigh Orleans, while the broad, hilly field in the front was the ‘ocean.’

“Make sure to save your water balloons!” Dinky called out. “We need to make every throw count!”

There was several long, tense minutes, before Scootaloo finally called out a warning. And there, across the open ocean/grassy field, they appeared, the war-galleys and carracks of the Barbarneigh corsairs, sailing north from Zebrica and Tapira and intent on raiding the Equestrian coast for treasure and slaves. There were pirates of every variety; zebras, antelope, and tapirs mostly, but with some ponies, horses, and even a few griffins and buffalo mixed in All were dressed and painted for war and armed to the teeth, as scurvy a bunch of sea-dogs as ever there were.

Everypony in the Castle Tree pointedly ignored that it was actually a few wagons or scooters, that most of the pirates were on foot, and that they were all just normal pony foals.

Dinky’s eyes, though, were immediately drawn to the pony/pirate leading them, a splotched-coated earth pony wearing a bandana and jerkin, cutlass at his side and directing the rest of the nefarious band of cutthroats. His mane and tail billowed in a breeze that came from nowhere as he drew his sword.

Dinky blushed at the sight. She didn’t know why.

“Avast!” The pirate exclaimed, his accent Trottinghamish. “I’ve put together this flotilla and I mean to sack this port! Surrender now!”

“Never!” Almost everypony within the Castle Tree retorted, readying to throw their balloons.

“Hey, wait!” Dinky called before the pitched battle could begin. “Who are you?”

The pirate grinned widely as he spotted Dinky amidst the branches. “I’m King of the Pirates, I am I am! Scourge of the Seas and – ”

“No, I mean, I’ve never seen you around town,” Dinky interrupted.

“Oh,” the foal responded, lowing his wooden sword. “I’m Pipsqueak. I just moved here from Trottingham the other day.”

“He’s cool!” One of the other pirate foals, Applebloom, said as she lifted up her eyepatch to get a better look at Dinky. “He had all these pirate toys already an’ even came up with the plan to outflank y’all by – ”

“Oi! Shut it!” Pipsqueak interrupted quickly. “Don’t tell them!”

Applebloom blushed in embarrassment, putting her eyepatch back on. Dinky giggled as she looked back to Pipsqueak. “Hi!” Dinky said. “I’m Dinky Doo!”

Pipsqueak waved, then slipped back into character. “Be ye the master of this fort?”

“Huh?” Dinky asked, blinking. She suddenly remembered that she was in the Castle Tree, trying to fend off a Barbarneigh Coast attack. “Oh! Um…yeah, I guess. Yeah! Captain Dinky of the Royal Equestrian Army!”

“Then I’ll give you one chance! Surrender now or I’ll sack the fort and sack Neigh Orleans!”

Dinky weighed carefully the pros and cons of letting Pipsqueak into the Castle Tree. She couldn’t actually think of any pros, however…but for some reason she really didn’t understand why it’d be so bad.

“Dinky!” Scootaloo called down at her after several moments. “What’s taking so long?”

Dinky blinked a few times, then steeled herself. “No!” she called down to Pipsqueak. “I have a duty to my ponies and to Equestria!” She threw her water balloon. Pipsqueak yelped as it sailed at him, quickly taking his wooden sword into his mouth and swiping. He managed to deflect the balloon, making it land at his hooves before it popped, getting only a little wet.

“Alright then, lads and lassies!” Pipsqueak said after spitting out his sword, as his scurvy band of miscreants readied their own water balloons. “We do this the hard way! Attack!”

The Barbarneigh pirates charged, Pipsqueak retrieving his sword and joining at the front. Many of them fell on their way to the fort, their first attack repulsed after long minutes of intense fighting. Both sides got soaked, Dinky in particular hit Pipsqueak a number of times, though she was hit a number of times in return. The second attack came later, unexpectedly, from a hidden force coming in from the Whitetail Wood itself that was quickly reinforced by the main body of corsairs – apparently this had been Pipsqueak’s master plan that Applebloom had accidentally almost spoiled. A time-out was called to determine if that was fair or not; by the time the issue was resolved, the surprise was ruined anyway, and the pirates withdrew in disarray, and Pipsqueak had been given a black spot and had to defend himself from Rumble’s attempts to take over leadership of the band. The Castle Tree’s defenders, however, were perilously low on water balloons, and couldn’t exploit the weakness.

The final attack came not long after Pipsqueak managed to get enough votes to remain the Pirate King, with only a precious fifteen minutes before everypony had to go home for dinner. Exhausted, demoralized, and low on ammunition, the defenders of the Castle Tree were at last overwhelmed, the Barbarneigh corsairs penetrating their outer defenses and getting into the boughs of the tree itself. A pitched battle followed, the remaining water balloons flying, but in the end, Dinky, Scootaloo, and Snails stood alone and side-by-side against Pipsqueak and his ragged band.

“Surrender!” Pipsqueak demanded.

Dinky lifted the last water balloon over her head telekinetically. “Never!” she exclaimed heatedly. Unfortunately, her concentration slipped, she squeezed the balloon just a little too hard, and the balloon popped.

“Wagh!” Dinky cried out at the unexpected fall of water onto her head. She didn’t have time to be embarrassed, though, as at the sight, everypony around burst out laughing, Dinky joining in wholeheartedly. It was several long minutes before she calmed down. “Aww…” she observed. “We lost…”

“Haha!” Pipsqueak exclaimed, holding his cutlass over his head again. “The Barbarneigh corsairs win! You lot will all be shipped back to Tapira, and to Swala and Ngamia in Zebrica, to be sold in the slave markets!”

“I don’t want to be a slave!” Snails objected. Dinky wholeheartedly agreed.

“Too bad!” Pipsqueak laughed, turning with his band and trotting triumphantly from the Castle Tree. He stopped on his way out, though, turning back to Dinky. “That was fun, though!”

“Yeah!” Dinky said, trotting forward as she shook her mane. She was soaked, but so was everypony, and it was hot enough that by the time they got back to Ponyville proper, they’d all be dry. She looked at Pipsqueak. “We get together like this every weekend. It’s not always attack-the-fortress, though. Sometimes we play hoofball, or go on treasure hunts…”

“That sounds like fun!” Pipsqueak said. Up close, Dinky realized he was shorter than her, though he seemed a year or two younger, anyway, so that made sense. “I can’t wait! Gotta go home for dinner now, though.” He waved at Dinky as he turned around. “Bye!”

“Bye! I’ll see you soon!” Dinky called, smiling brightly. She may have failed to protect the Castle Tree, but for some reason she couldn’t stop smiling anyway. Probably because even though she had lost, she’d still had a lot of fun, and had even made a new friend. She scratched at an errant itch on her flank at that last thought, but when she checked to see what caused it, saw nothing. She decided to write it off, though. After all...

“Today was a really good day,” she decided as she hurried home.
> 1. The Tale of Espada Noche
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today

Dinky shivered a little at a stray breeze as she trotted. Winter would officially begin next week, but as Ponyville prepared for the advent of the season and the first snowfall, the weather patrol had arranged for the temperature to drop notably. It wasn’t too cold yet, but it was certainly nearing it; she had already taken to wearing a blue-and-green winter cape when she went outside, and it was nearly time for her to break out her hat as well.

Beside her, Pipsqueak seemed to take the breeze better, though he, too, was wearing winter clothing, in his case a long-tailed jacket that covered his flank, as well as a red kerchief around his neck, though the latter was actually something he tended to wear anyway.

“So what do you want to do today?” Dinky asked as the two reached the edges of Ponyville’s proper town and headed towards the Castle Tree, where they were meeting up with a good portion of the foals in Ponyville. On either side of the dirt road they walked down were white fences, marking the edge of various pony’s farms. The fields were cleared by now, of course, and had been since the Ingathering, the last harvest of the year.

Pipsqueak thought. “I dunno,” he said at length, his Trottinghamish accent not having faded in the slightest since Dinky had first met the colt. “We did superheroes last week, right?”

“And Mild West banditos the week before,” Dinky noted. “Snow’s almost here and we won’t be allowed to play outside all day ‘cause of the cold. We have to make today count.”

“Pirates!” Pipsqueak proclaimed with a hop.

Dinky considered that herself. They actually hadn’t played pirates since the summer, though Pipsqueak’s love for them hadn’t wavered any more than his accent. The unicorn filly frowned, however. “I don’t have any more water balloons,” she said, and shook her mane a little at another cool breeze that made her thankful for her winter cloak. “And it’s probably too cold for them, anyway…”

Pipsqueak’s ears flopped low in disappointment. “Oh, right…” he noted. His love of pirate games did not extend quite far enough to risk hypothermia. “Well, we don’t have to play Barbarneigh Corsairs attacking a fortress again. We could…go on a scavenger hunt!”

Dinky’s eyes grew wide, and a big grin broke out on her face. “Yeah!” she said. “We could get crews together – ”

“Make a treasure map – ”

“Follow all the clues – ”

“Have epic fights on the open sea – ”

“We went on a scavenger hunt a few weeks before you first moved here,” Dinky noted. “It was awesome!” She considered a few moments, then her face darkened as she looked down in defeat. “Oh, but it won’t work…”

Pipsqueak looked to Dinky. “Aw, why not?”

“Because scavenger hunts take forever to set up! By the time we’ve hidden the clues and made the maps and made the teams, the day will practically be over.”

Pipsqueak’s ears sagged again as he looked at the ground. “Aw, you’re right…” he noted. “Well…I’m sure we’ll think of something…”

The two foals stopped when they noticed a shadow in front of them, blocking the road. Looking up, they saw a pink-coated mare with a pink mane, wearing a brightly-feathered headdress with a mask that looked kind of like a crocodile’s face, and a cape made of brightly colored feathers.

“I hear you’re looking for treasure!” The mare said, her voice somehow high yet deep at the same time.

Dinky and Pipsqueak looked between each other, then back to the mare. “Pinkie Pie?” Pipsqueak asked. Neither foal was entirely surprised by the perpetually perky pink party pony appearing out of nowhere, but her choice of attire was more than a little strange, even for her.

“No!” Pinkie Pie objected mightily. She paused a moment, then lifted up her mask. “Well, okay, yeah. But play along!” She put the mask back on. “I am the ghost of Dread Cipactli! Many years ago, the pirate Espada Noche of Caballeria stole my treasure and hid it on the mythical Cutthroat Island!”

“Ooh! I know this story! Me da’ told me it!” Pipsqueak noted, hopping up and down. “Cipactli was this monster that lived in the Thousand Islands! He used to wake up every hundred years and sink ships and take all their treasure!”

Pinkie Pie lifted the mask off her face again, nodding. “Yup! He was a big greedy crocodile monster! Nothing at all like Gummy!” At that, she produced a small, pink-eyed, toothless alligator, wearing a tiny sweater and fuzzy hat. Gummy blinked one eye at a time at the two foals, but didn’t otherwise react to their presence.

“Why are you dressed like kee-pac-tee?” Dinky asked.

“Cipactli,” Pinkie corrected, then slid her mask back on and slid back into character – whatever that character was – as she tucked Gummy away under her feather cloak again. “And the reason why I am here is this! Espada Noche tracked me down to my island. He and his crew defeated me and took all my treasure, the plunder of a thousand ships! But Espada’s crew were just as greedy as he was, if not more! He feared that his crew would fight over the treasure and be driven apart and not be friends anymore if he ever tried to divide it amongst them, since each would want more than their fair share!”

“Actually me da’ said that it was ‘cause Espada Noche wanted all the treasure for himself,” Pipsqueak interrupted.

“Whatever!” ‘Cipactli’ said. “The point is, in the middle of the night, Espada Noche took the treasure in his ship, the Oro Jack, and sailed off into the sunset – alone!”

Dinky was pretty sure there was an inconsistency with the timing there. “Um – ” she began.

“He buried his treasure on the mysterious Cutthroat Island! When he reappeared, months later, all his crew wanted to know where he’d hidden the treasure. He didn’t tell anypony! But…he did have a map!”

“A map?” Dinky asked.

“A map!” Pipsqueak exclaimed, hopping up again. He had made his way over to a white fence that surrounded the nearby farm field, and deftly hopped up on top of it, holding one hoof high for dramatic emphasis. “The most famous treasure map ever! Leading to the most famous treasure ever!”

“That’s right!” ‘Cipactli’ exclaimed, joining him on the fence and holding up her other hoof. “Espada Noche had hidden his treasure somewhere in the Thousand Islands, with only his one map leading to the island. But not long after, the pirate was finally captured and brought back to Caballeria for trial!

“Before they did anything, though, the Caballeros wanted to know what Espada Noche had done with his map and all the treasure of Cipactli! But the map was gone! Espada Noche had split it into three parts and sent the map to parts unknown! It is said that he laughed all the way to the gallows, saying that nopony would ever find his treasure!”

Dinky looked to Pipsqueak for confirmation, and the colt nodded as he hopped back down from the fence. “Me da’ always said that finding the pieces of the map and putting it together would be an adventure itself!”

“Aha!” Pinkie exclaimed, darting off to a nearby rock and lifting it up, taking out two items, then returning, hoofing one over to each foal.

Dinky took the item offered to her with widened eyes, considering what Pinkie had just been telling her and Pipsqueak. The item given to her was a folded piece of…something, Dinky couldn’t tell if it was cloth or paper. There were several stains on it; she recoiled slightly at one stain – one red stain. Pinkie was known to get really into some of her roles…

“That’s just tomato sauce,” Pinkie explained, apparently reading Dinky’s mind.

“Oh.” Dinky breathed out a sigh of relief, them hurriedly opened the piece of paper. She found herself looking at what looked like a third of a map…of Ponyville. Specifically, its north and east sections, as well as the surrounding farmland and countryside. Across it were marks and notations about various locations and things to do one you reached them, some of them complete, some of them half-finished as they referred to locations outside of the part of the map that Dinky held

Glancing over at Pipsqueak, she saw that the item he’d been handed was a piece of wood, looking like it had come from a plank from a barrel. It, too, contained a partial map of Ponyville carved into its surface, in his case most of the southern parts. It was similarly marked with directions, some of them complete, others only half-complete. Leaning over and holding her partial map next to Pipsqueak’s, the two saw that the two pieces each joined together to create a more complete picture, though the final third of the map was still missing.

Dinky looked back to Pinkie, who had her mask up again and was nuzzling Gummy, who responded by blinking one eye at a time in his usual fashion. “This isn’t Espada Noche’s treasure map,” Dinky reasoned, guessing that the legendary pirate probably hadn’t sailed to land-locked, deep inland Ponyville to bury his treasure.

Pinkie giggled. “Of course not, silly!” she said, tucking the sedate alligator away again. Dinky thought she saw Gummy open his mouth and clamp down on Pinkie’s mane, but the mare didn’t seem to notice. “That’s just to set the mood for the treasure hunt!” she nodded sagely. “I always keep hidden treasure in Ponyville, in case of treasure hunt emergencies.”

Dinky and Pipsqueak looked at each other. Both knew that Pinkie lived in a loft apartment over Sugar Cube Corner – she couldn’t, realistically, make that much in the way of bits, and so whatever treasure had been hidden probably wasn’t a whole lot. At most, it was a few bits and some chocolate or something.

But…

“This is great, Pinkie!” Dinky exclaimed. “We can go on a treasure hunt today! It’s the perfect way to end the season!”

“Yup!” Pinkie proudly exclaimed. “My tail was a-twitchin’ and my leg was a-hitchin’ and my mane was all frazzle-dazzled – more than usual – and I just knew that somepony in Ponyville needed help setting up a treasure hunt! Oh, but my break’s almost done; I gotta get back to Sugar Cube Corner.” Pinkie hopped past them, heading back towards town. She looked over her shoulder as she hopped. “Tell me how it went, though!” She pulled her mask back down. “Cipactli wants to know…!”

Pipsqueak and Dinky waved her goodbye, then looked down at their respective maps, then to each other. “Wait, who has the third piece?” Pipsqueak asked, as he turned his map around in his hooves, and checked the back. “We only have two pieces of the map! Oh, no, did she forget?”

Dinky thought a moment, then shook her head. “If I know Pinkie, then the third piece is somewhere already. We’ll probably find it while hunting for the treasure.” She looked over her own map. “You know, it looks like this part by itself could lead to a whole lot of adventure already.” She looked to Pipsqueak. “We could divide into teams! Two teams, each looking for the treasure.”

“And we could try to spy on each other!” Pipsqueak said. “Try to get a hold of each other’s maps so that we can do the parts that are only half-done on one alone.”

Dinky considered, tapping her hoof to her mouth. “Mmn, maybe not steal,” Dinky said. “it won’t be any fun for a team if their map gets stolen. But spying, or making copies, or trading back-and-forth, sounds okay!”

Pipsqueak nodded. “Fair enough. But whoever gets to the treasure first gets the largest share! Um…say, two-thirds?”

“Of course!” Dinky agreed. There had to be a prize for coming in first, but there had to be a consolation prize, too. She grinned, holding out a hoof. “May the best pirate win!”

Pipsqueak reached out his own hoof, tapping it to Dinky’s. “Right!”

---

My little pony, my little pony…
Yo-ho, yo-ho…
My little pony – 
We’re all ready so let’s go and see
My little pony – 
Just what’s ahead for you and for me
Stormy weather, lots to share
We’ll search the seas, with love and care
Finding treasure, it’s an easy feat
With friends to make your crew complete!
You have my little ponies – 
Yo-ho a pirate’s life for me!

---

The tavern was called the Admiral Bent Bow, and it lay almost exactly on the border between Caballeria and Garanhã, two of Equestria's southern neighbors. Specifically on the Caballero side, though all the locals spoke Equestrian because Dinky didn’t actually speak Caballero. It lay near none of the major southern ports of either country, though there was a small village nearby with a modest dock, not quite big enough for a full man-o’-war, but a comfortable enough port for the schooner that Dinky Doo, former captain of the Royal Equestrian Army, had sailed in on

Dinky had inquired in the town as to the location of the Admiral Bent Bow and, having learned of it, made her way up to it with determination. She found it to be a small place in a state of disrepair, with little to recommend it save two things: its broad, commanding view of both the surrounding countryside and the Southern Sea; and its isolation from other ports-of-call along the coast, making it the perfect place for clandestine meetings.

Dinky looked very different from the mare that had been taken captive by Barbarneigh Corsairs ten years ago – 

– no, wait, ten years was too long a time. Dinky stopped and thought a moment.

Dinky looked very different from the mare that had been taken captive by Barbarneigh Corsairs three years ago. She wore a white, loose shirt under a long seafaring coat, a tricorner hat with a feather in it on her head, and a sword slung across her back. The slave markets of Zebrica had left a hardened look in her eyes from all the mean things the slavers had made her do, like cook and clean and carry their stuff around. But she had escaped one night, not too long ago, from her cruel zebra master. In fact, she had done better than escape: she had managed to steal something very precious from her former master. Finding secret passage from Zebrica to the coast of Caballeria hadn’t been easy, but she’d managed thanks to some nice zebras she’d met – Dinky was sure there were nice zebras and that they’d help an escaped slave. But she couldn’t return to Equestria – not yet.

Entering the Admiral Bent Bow, she found it to be subdued compared to many of the taverns and pubs that dotted the Southern Sea’s coast. Nevertheless, the place was full of scurvy-sea dogs, ponies from all across the continent that had made their living by the bounty of the sea, on trade or, just as often, the piracy of such trade. Some of them were probably even slavers. But not the ponies Dinky was looking for – after all, they had been slaves themselves. She found them easily enough.

“Hey guys!”

Their friends all looked up from where they were sitting as Dinky and Pipsqueak – whom Dinky had been ignoring in her fantasy, since they’d agreed to give each team half an hour to get started before they would begin competing – arrived at the Castle Tree. For some reason, none of their friends looked very happy. Dinky frowned, forgetting the pirate stuff for a moment and instead focusing on the here and now, the here specifically being under the Castle Tree and not, in fact, somewhere along the Caballero coast; and the now being a Saturday afternoon today, and not back in the days of the Barbarneigh Corsairs. She also wasn’t really dressed like a pirate, just in her winter cloak, and her ‘sword’ was just a conveniently-sized tree branch she’d found.

Dinky found less foals than she was expecting under the boughs of the Castle Tree – only eight, not including Pipsqueak and herself, all wearing winter cloaks or coats to protect against the mild chill in the air. A bigger concern to Dinky, however, was that her friends had for some reason divided into two groups: Scootaloo, Snails, Twist, and Featherweight sitting in the eastern half of the Castle Tree, and Rumble, Applebloom, Snips, and Bee Bop in the western half.

Dinky looked to Pipsqueak, who shrugged, not knowing why they were split into two anymore than she did. “I’ll take this lot,” Pipsqueak said, nodding his head towards Rumble’s group. 

Dinky nodded, heading over to the eastern half and looking at the ponies there. “What’s going on?” She asked when she reached them, head tilting to the side.

“Snips is a big dumb stinker, that’s what!” Snails exclaimed. He was in the rough center of the group of four, and looked like he had been pacing around in circles, stomping at the ground in annoyance while the other foals had been alternating between being close to him to try and calm him down and hanging back to give the young colt space to stew.

Dinky raised an eyebrow, looking to the other ponies. Snips and Snails were normally inseparable friends, and Dinky wasn’t sure if she’d ever heard about them getting into a fight. “What happened?”

“Don’t know,” Twist said. Her lisp had been getting better over the past few months, as she made a deliberate effort to try and drop it, but it was still fairly pronounced. “He’th – he’s – not telling us.”

“Something to do with not everypony being here,” Featherweight provided. “Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are having a tea party. Alula and Firelock and Sweetie Belle are there.”

Dinky remembered Diamond Tiara talking about how she wanted to have a tea party to welcome in the winter. She’d actually invited Dinky, but Dinky had declined as politely as possible, though promised to come to the next one. The unicorn foal looked back to Snails. “What’s this have to do with you and Snips?” she asked. She found it unlikely that Diamond Tiara would have invited Snips or Snails anyway, but neither of the two unicorn colts had ever shown any interest to going to any of Diamond Tiara’s tea parties before, so she wasn’t sure how it could be involved.

Snails looked at Dinky, then away and over towards the other group of foals, who had clustered around Snips, who looked equally angry with Snails. “Doesn’t matter,” Snails said. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

Dinky winced, even as she scratched an errant itch on her flank. She hated it when her friends fought with each other, and it wasn’t always easy, keeping her muzzle out of their business. Still, looking Snails over, she could tell that her fellow foal just wanted to stew for a little bit, and probably wouldn’t appreciate any of his friends trying to pry into whatever was making him so upset. “Well…” she ventured, “can you tell us later? We only want to help.”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “The day’s wasting away. You don’t want to spend it all in a bad mood, do you?”

Snails considered, mulling over what the two fillies had said and taking his time to do so, as he did with most things. At length, he nodded. “Okay. We can talk about it…later. Maybe.”

Dinky put on a smile, accepting the small victory even as she scratched again at her flank. It had been really itchy lately for some reason. “Alright then. Me and Pipsqueak have the best idea for what to do today! Pinkie Pie helped out.”

The four other foals all brightened up at that, even Snails. Whenever Ponyville’s premier pink party pony was involved, excitement was sure to follow. Her grin widening, Dinky used her magic to pull the third of the map she had from a pocket on the inside of her winter cloak, unfolding it and showing it to the four gathered ponies, who in her mind’s eye were once again back to being her former soldiers, as they once more found themselves in the Caballero tavern, the Admiral Bent Bow.

“This here,” said Captain Dinky to her former soldiers, who had fought with her three years ago against the Barbarneigh Corsairs to defend Neigh Orleans, “is a piece of the legendary treasure map of the pirate Espada Noche, hidden somewhere in the Thousand Islands! There’s supposed to be fabulous treasure at the end!”

The four former members of the Royal Equestrian Army crowded around the map that Dinky had laid out on the tavern’s scratched wooden table, reading it by the dim and flickering light of a fireplace and a small lantern that hung overhead. Dinky had spoken in hushed tones, for there was many a scallywag and buccaneer ne’er-do-well in the tavern – maybe even a spy for him. “But it’s a map of Ponyville,” Scootaloo pointed out.

“No, it’s a map of the Thousand Islands,” Dinky insisted of her former second-in-command, who’s ambitions had always run high, though she was a brave and true soldier when she had to be.

“I dunno…” Featherweight intoned. He had been the fort’s doctor before he had been taken by the Barbarneigh Corsairs. “I think I can see my house.”

“And that lookth like the town hall,” Twist, their gunner, insisted. Twist had the best aim of any of the foals in Ponyville, even the unicorns who’d learned how to make use of their telekinesis, like Dinky.

Dinky looked between the three of them, then rolled her eyes. They stung a little bit in the smoke of tavern caused by its poorly-maintained fireplace. “No, it’s a map of the Thousand Islands,” she insisted. “Because we’re all pirates. And this is our treasure map.”

The four looked at Dinky blankly, before Snails’ ears perked up, somehow seeing what Dinky was driving at before anypony else did. Snails had been the fortress’ entomologist. Not many forts had a need for entomologists, but Snails had been one anyway. “I get it! Like over the summer.” He looked down after a few moments when he remembered how that game had gone. “But I thought we were all captured.”

Dinky put a reassuring hoof on Snips’ shoulder. “We escaped!” she explained. “And I found this treasure map! Well, the ghost of Dread Kee-pac-til-lee gave it to me. Well…Pinkie Pie gave it to me. But the point is that we have it, and that’s why I called you all here!” She grinned as she leaned in conspiratorially. “We’ll find the treasure. We can use it to come back to Equestria as heroes!”

“We’re not in Equestria?” Featherweight asked.

“No, we’re in a tavern on the Caballero coast. I’m the army captain that I was when we played that the Barbarneigh Corsairs were attacking over the summer. Remember? When we first met Pipsqueak?”

“Ohh…” the four foals intoned, as everything came together before them and they fully caught up. Scootaloo was the fastest this time around, leaning in and glancing over to the other group of foals. “What about them?”

Dinky looked across the Caballero tavern. She did indeed see another crew of motley scallywags, all of them bearing a familiar bandana on their heads or about the necks, and brand on their flanks, that made their allegiance clear. Dinky’s eyes widened. “Them there,” she said in a hushed tone, leaning in, “are members of the crew of Hispaniola. The dreaded pirate ship, captained by the meanest, evilest pirate to ever cruise the Thousand Islands. The pirate that sacked Neigh Orleans even though we tried to fight him off, and then sold us all into slavery in Tapira and Zebrica. The King of the Pirates…Pipsqueak.”

Dinky’s flowery, overlong description had the desired effect; her friends were finally getting into their roles. When Pipsqueak glanced over at them, they actually all jumped a little as though the little colt really was a dread pirate. “Wait, but Snips is over there,” Snails pointed out. “But he was on our side when we played pirates.”

Dinky blinked. “Oh,” she said, considering. Right now, they had two teams of five each, and she didn’t want to disrupt the balance too much. “Well, um…hang on, maybe we can trade you over to Pipsqueak, or trade Snips over here – ”

Snails’ muzzle scrunched a little. “No,” he said, holding up a hoof as he turned back to the rest of the group. “I’m not talking to Snips right now. He’s a traitor! He joined Pipsqueak’s crew.”

Dinky blinked. “You sure?” she asked.

“I’m positive. I don’t want to be on the same crew as Snips.”

Dinky opened her mouth to ask once again what had happened to drive the two friends apart, but remembered that Snails hadn’t wanted to talk about it. A few minutes probably wasn’t enough to make him want to talk about it now. “Okay,” she accepted, moving on as she pointed once more to the map. “Well, this map, it’s not complete. It’s got two other parts. Pipsqueak has one of them, and we don’t know where the third part is. But we can get started on our parts of the map, and keep a weather-eye open for the third part. Maybe having two parts will be enough to find the treasure.”

“What if it ithn’t?” Twist asked worriedly. “Or what if Pipthqueak – geh, Pipsqueak – gets to it first?”

“Well, we can’t steal each other’s maps, that wouldn’t be fair. But we can make copies, or spy on each other, or trade stuff we find out if we have to. First group to find the treasure gets two-thirds of it.” She stomped a hoof on the ground. “But if Pipsqueak gets to it first, it’ll just mean more treasure when he already has tons and tons! We need it to return to Equestria and make up for losing at Neigh Orleans! So we have to get to it first. Okay?”

The four members of Dinky’s crew looked between each other. “Okay,” Featherweight said at length for the group, fluttering his wings beneath his winter cloak. “This sounds like it could be fun!”

“But wait!” Twist exclaimed. “We need a th – a ship – don’t we?” She looked down at the map. “I mean, if this ith – is – supposed to be the Thousand Islands. Plus, it’ll get tiring walking everywhere. What’s gonna be our thip?”

Dinky considered, before looking to Scootaloo. Scootaloo looked back, breaking out into a wide grin as she rubbed her forehooves together, understanding clearly what Dinky was driving at. “We’ve got the fastest ship in the Thousand Islands already,” she said, getting up from the tavern’s table and indicating the other foals to follow. They did, stepping from the dim lights of the Admiral Bent Bow and out into the road. A quick trot brought them to the village nearby, and more specifically its small piers.

And there – in their minds’ eyes, anyway – they saw her: a two-masted schooner with a surprisingly shallow draft, her lower hull painted yellow while her deck was a more bright red, and her sails, triangular and trapezoidal in shape, slightly pink-tinged in the Cavallian style. Everything about her, from stem to stern, said one thing: I am fast.

The five ponies pointedly ignored that the ship was really just a wagon tied to a scooter sitting just outside the Castle Tree’s boughs. That wasn’t nearly as fun.

Scootaloo trotted up the pier and to the ship, pointing at the side of the schooner’s hull and reading off her name (which was in fact the brand name of the scooter, but again – not quite as fun). “Rosedust,” she said. “As long as we’re sailing her, nopony in all of the Thousand Islands will be able to beat us!”

Dinky looked at her crew, and smiled, holding forward the treasure map. “Okay!” she declared. “Let’s go get our treasure!”

---

Meanwhile, on the other side of Ponyville, in a very expensive and very well-appointed house, a young, pink-coated earth pony filly was all of three seconds away from having her first heart attack.

“Be careful!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed.

“I’m being careful!” Firelock countered, as her horn glowed green and she stared at the tea kettle, tongue clenched in her teeth as she concentrated.

Diamond Tiara watched Firelock very, very closely as the young unicorn, who had not too long ago earned her cutie mark, focused on one of the new spells she had learned even as Diamond Tiara herself kept a tight hoof on the jug of milk, supposing that milk would be as good as water at putting out a fire. The tea kettle was wrapped in a green effervescence that matched the glow of Firelock’s horn, and had been for the past few minutes without anything bursting into flame. That didn’t make Diamond Tiara feel very confident, however, as Firelock’s reputation as a firestarter was well-earned.

On the other hoof, Diamond Tiara did have to admit that Firelock had been getting better ever since she’d started taking fire safety lessons from Red Splasher, the town’s fire chief. The lessons had started not long after Firelock had earned her cutie mark and discovered her special talent of fireworks, two months ago. In spite of this, however, Diamond Tiara would never have invited the crass unicorn over to her house under normal circumstances.

However, she would, and did, invite the pony who was sitting next to Firelock, one reassuring hoof on her back. Alula was a pony with a coat the color of butter, while her mane, tail, and eyes were all purple. What was impressive about her, however, was the fact that she possessed both a unicorn’s horn and a pegasus’ wings. A rare true hybrid between the two tribes, the combination of appendages made Alula look like an alicorn princess, and the foals of Ponyville often treated her as such. Getting Alula to come to her tea party was very prestigious, Diamond Tiara knew, even if she didn’t quite know why.

Alula, unfortunately, was best friends with Firelock – Diamond Tiara wasn’t sure why, since Firelock never treated her like a princess the way everypony else did. When Diamond Tiara had asked Alula over, Alula had asked if Firelock could come too. Diamond Tiara had been forced to compromise, something she wasn’t used to, but something her father, Filthy Rich, said was an important skill to learn.

Rounding out the group was Sweetie Belle, a unicorn foal who’s big sister, Rarity, was one of the more refined and poised ponies in Ponyville; and, of course, Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara’s best friend and fellow member of Ponyville’s ‘upper crust.’

Diamond Tiara let out a squeak of worry when the aura around the tea kettle began to sparkle rather more than was typical for a unicorn’s aura. “Um…Firelock…?” Alula asked, wings rising in worry.

“My daddy will never forgive you if you set a room on fire while I’m in it!” Silver Spoon warned.

“Relax, that just means it’s done,” Firelock said with a grin, as the glow around her horn and around the tea kettle subsided. She was wearing a bright smile, even as she used a hoof to wipe some sweat from her brow – she was still a young unicorn, after all, and so even a basic heating spell took a lot more effort than it would once she grew up. “Told you we didn’t have to go back downstairs or bother one of your maids.”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. What was the point of having maids if you couldn’t get them to do stuff for you? She nevertheless poured the water of the tea kettle into a nearby waiting teapot, added the number of tea bags that Sweetie Belle had suggested, and poured out fresh tea for her guests, just like a good hostess was supposed to. “Sugar, anypony?” she asked after she set it down, pushing forward the sugar bowl.

Silver Spoon liked one lump, while Sweetie Belle liked three and Firelock, fairly surprisingly, didn’t like any. Diamond Tiara and Alula both had two. After mixing in milk and stirring, the five fillies sampled the latest batch of tea with gusto.

Silver Spoon winced. Sweetie Belle gagged slightly. Alula coughed, and even Diamond Tiara, who had made the tea, had to focus very carefully on not spitting it out. “Blugh!” she exclaimed, setting her teacup down and glaring at it. “Why’s it so bitter?!”

“Tastes fine to me,” Firelock said as she had another sip.

Diamond Tiara glared at her, while Sweetie Belle levitated the teapot over and opened it up, looking in. “Maybe five teabags is too much.”

“But we could barely taste the tea with just three!” Diamond Tiara objected, stomping a hoof on the ground. “Three is too few but five is too much and Firelock nearly burned down my room and the scones are all dry and barely anypony showed up…”

“Who else did you invite?” Alula asked, as she pushed her teacup between her hooves on the table, spinning it around absentmindedly like she might a pottery wheel. Alula liked pottery, and in fact the tea set that the five were using was one that she had made, with help from her mother.

Diamond Tiara pouted, crossing her front hooves over her chest. “Dinky Doo, and Tootsie Flute, and Rumble, and Shady Daze, and Truffle Shuffle, and Scootaloo, and – ”

“Scootaloo?” Silver Spoon asked, one eye narrowing. “Why her?”

Diamond Tiara blushed. She knew exactly why, but she sure as anything wasn’t going to say it. “It’s my tea party, I can invite anypony I want! But everypony was either busy or going to the Castle Tree. Everypony wanted one more chance before winter to get all dirty and covered in sap and mud, instead of spend time inside where it’s warm and have tea!”

“We don’t always get covered in mud and sap,” Firelock objected. “And it’s fun to go outside!”

“I don’t mind going outside,” Diamond Tiara said. “When it’s a picnic or for a nice trot through town – ”

“Or a scooter ride with Scootaloo…” Silver Spoon noted absentmindedly.

Diamond Tiara blushed furiously. “Sometimes I need to get places in a hurry, and Scootaloo’s really fast on her scooter!”

“Uh-huh…” Silver Spoon responded, as she looked down at her tea. She picked it up and poured it into the trash bin in Diamond Tiara’s room. “Well, might as well try for another pot…”

“We’ll need more water, though,” Alula noted. Diamond Tiara agreed to give the tea at least one more go, if only to turn the conversation away from Scootaloo and herself and whether or not Diamond Tiara has a crush on Scootaloo. They all left Diamond Tiara’s room, intent on going to the kitchen.

They almost immediately found their way blocked, however, by a large, dark figure, wearing a mask and cloak and looking down at them ominously with blue eyes that seemed to glow in the shadow that she cast over the five fillies.

“Daddy!” Diamond Tiara called. “Pinkie Pie broke in again!”

“No I didn’t!” Pinkie Pie objected.

“No she didn’t, honey!” Filthy Rich called from somewhere else in the house. “She knocked and I invited her in!”

“I was invited in,” Pinkie Pie confirmed, nodding as she lifted her mask to look down at Diamond Tiara seriously. “Your daddy said that he wasn’t comfortable with teleporting into his house after I threw him and your mommy a surprise anniversary party, and I told him that I didn’t know how to teleport and I’m pretty sure only unicorns can teleport anyway, and he said that just made him more uncomfortable and that I have to ask permission to come inside from now on. So I did, and then I’ve been waiting out here for you to come out of your room.”

Diamond Tiara wasn’t sure how she felt about all that, but then, that described many conversations with Pinkie Pie. She, like most of Ponyville, had learned to just roll with it.

“So why are you here?” Alula asked.

“And why are you dressed like that?” Silver Spoon added, looking Pinkie up and down. She was wearing a stone mask that looked kind of like a crocodile, and a feathered cape. “Are you getting ready for Nightmare Night already?”

“Silly Silver Spoon!” Pinkie chided, reaching into her cape and pulling out a notebook filled to the brim with notes and diagrams and the like. “I’ve been preparing for Nightmare Night since last year! But no, this isn’t for that.” She put the notebook away and took out a pocket watch. “But unfortunately I’m running low on time. The Cakes said I could take a longer break since today’s kind of slow but my extra time is almost up. So I gotta give you to the short version!”

Pinkie put the watch away, and pulled the mask down over her head. “Grr! I’m the monster Dread Cipactli! I was a menace across the Thousand Islands until I was defeated! But I had lots and lots and lots of treasure that the pirate Espada Noche found and stole! He hid it on an island somewhere so that all his friends in his crew wouldn’t fight over it!”

“Or he decided to keep it all for himself,” Diamond Tiara ventured.

Pinkie pulled up her crocodile mask. “Why does everypony think that? That wouldn’t be very nice!”

“You just said he was a pirate,” Diamond Tiara noted.

“So?” Pinkie asked, then pulled her mask back down. “Anyway! Espada Noche had a map leading to his treasure. The map was split into three parts! The dread pirate Pipsqueak already has one piece. Dinky Doo and her crew already have the second! But…”

Pinkie Pie trotted over to a potted plant in the hallway and lifted it up, revealing a piece of cloth. She trotted back to Diamond Tiara and pushed the cloth forward into the young filly’s hooves. “You have the third piece of the map! The most important piece!” She grinned brightly.

Diamond Tiara looked down at the map. It was a map of Ponyville, or a third of it, anyway – southern half. Various instructions and tasks were written or partially written all around the map, in a rough list. A certain part of the map drew Diamond Tiara’s attention more than any other, however – a big red X, near the middle of Ponyville.

The earth pony filly realized all her friends were crowding around her to see the map. Firelock spoke up first. “This looks like fun!”

“We even have the end of the map,” Sweetie Belle noted. “We could go straight for the treasure before Dinky or Pipsqueak!”

“But why would we?” Diamond Tiara objected. Sweetie and Firelock looked at her incredulously, and Diamond Tiara pressed on. “This isn’t Espada Noche’s map, even if Pinkie didn’t just make him up. There’s no way he hid the treasure here! For one thing it probably wouldn’t be written in Equestrian. So what treasure even is there?”

“We’ll never know if we don’t go and find out!” Firelock exclaimed. She pointed to the X on the map. “It’s near the post office. Only a few minutes trot from here!”

“It would be kind of fun,” Alula put in. “I mean…only for a little bit. If that’s okay.”

“There is treasure there,” Pinkie promised. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”

Diamond Tiara stared at Pinkie. “It isn’t gonna be something stupid like friendship, is it?”

Pinkie gasped, hooves at her cheeks. “Friendship isn’t a stupid treasure! It’s the best treasure!” At the earth pony filly’s continued deadpan look, Pinkie shrugged. “But also there’s real treasure, yes.”

“There and back in half an hour,” Sweetie said as she considered the location of the X.

Diamond Tiara considered. This was supposed to be her tea party…but admittedly, it hadn’t been going very well. Maybe this could be a good distraction. And Pinkie had promised that there was real treasure…

“Okay okay okay,” she relented, looking between her friends. “Everypony get your winter stuff, I guess. We’re going treasure hunting.”
> 2. The Silver Fruit of Apple Isle
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day on Apple Island had started like any other for its inhabitants. They had woken up, washed their faces, breakfasted, and set about their morning chores. With the winter coming in only a week, there weren’t as many of those anymore, but that made for a welcome respite to the hustle and bustle that the isle had been host to during the Ingathering, the last harvest of the year. Apple Island was one of the richest of the Thousand Islands, thanks to a brisk trade in apple cider that they provided to the rest of the vast collection of islands that lay in the sea between the continents of Cissanthema, Farasi, and Maghrib.

The islanders should have known that their riches would make them ripe targets for plunder. No pirate ship had ever attacked Apple Island in living memory – but then, no pirate ship in living memory had a quartermaster who had grown up on the island, and knew all its secrets and treasures.

They had crept ashore in the dead of night. Applebloom, the quartermaster and former inhabitant of Apple Island, had taken point, but she did not lead the crew. No – this band of scurvy scallywags was led by none other than the Dread Pirate King himself, Pipsqueak. He had sunk or taken a’ prize dozens of ships and taken hundreds of thousands of bits worth of treasure – and more, he had done what no pirate had ever been able to do: he had sacked Neigh Orleans, Equestria’s most vital southern port, and gotten away with it too in spite of stiff resistance. 

But today, he had his sights set on something that would cement his place amongst the great Pirate Kings of legend: the lost treasure of Espada Noche. He possessed a third of the legendary map to it, and that map had lead him here, to Apple Island.

“It’s a good thing the first clue was so close,” Applebloom noted as she led them through the currently empty apple orchards of Sweet Apple Acres along the route the map had said. “As long as Dinky’s got Scootaloo on her crew, Ah don’t know how we’re gonna keep up.”

“Aye, the Rosedust is a fast ship,” Pipsqueak agreed with his quartermaster as she helped navigate them through the familiar waters along the route the map had said. “But don’t worry, me harteys! We’ll be done here before the Apples know what hit ‘em!”

Applebloom stopped, looking at Pipsqueak. “What’re ya talkin’ about?” she asked, eyes narrowing. “You didn’t say nothin’ about attackin’ Sweet Apple Acres!”

“Well, we are pirates,” Rumble, Pipsqueak’s first mate, observed with a flutter of his wings. Rumble was older than Pipsqueak, and the dread pirate captain knew that he desired to be captain himself. But that wasn’t going to happen – not while Pipsqueak had any say in the matter.

“Yeah, but we ain’t really gonna steal anythin’, are we?” Applebloom asked, as the group started trotting again, towards the main barn. “Ah mean, we’re only here for our treasure.”

Pipsqueak considered a moment the row between his first mate and quartermaster as they proceeded to the warehouse of Apple Island. “On account of this bein’ Applebloom’s home port,” he decided, “we’ll leave it be. But if any of the Apples stand in the way of me treasure, we’ll keel-haul ‘em!”

He said this as they entered the main barn. To Pipsqueak’s eye, it was a cavernous warehouse, stocked to the brim with apples and cider just waiting to be shipped out amongst the Thousand Islands. The warehouse had stood in the same place for a long time, as long as the Apple Clan had claimed the island – even as far back as Espada Noche’s time. Pipsqueak turned to his navigator as they entered stealthily. “Now, me mate,” he said. “What does the map say?”

His navigator was Bee Bop, and she had the map tucked away under one wing. She lay it out on the ground in front of her, and the five pirates crowded around it as her hooves traced over the text written there, squinting due to how small it was. “In amongst the Apple Clan’s hold, you’ll find the third key to my hidden gold,” she read. “Go ten paces north from the entrance, then two paces east. Look on high and deep to find the apple of me eye.” Bee Bop considered. “But what are we looking for?” she demanded, probably louder than was entirely ideal for their stealth mission. “There’s probably dozens of apples in here!”

“Might be a specific apple,” Snips ventured. The bosun of Hispaniola had been fairly quiet since their arrival on Apple Island. When Pipsqueak had recruited the unicorn colt to his crew, he had been focused on his falling-out with his friend Snails, and he still dwelled on it often, though the captain knew better than to push Snips for any details before he was ready to divulge them himself.

Applebloom frowned. “But this is the barn,” she said, waving her hoof around. “We don’t keep apples in here, just hay and tools.”

“Anypony else concerned about the fact that it says third key, too?” Rumble asked, tapping a hoof to his mouth and squinting down at the map. “I think we’re gonna need a lot of keys, but this map only shows the way to a few of them.”

“Aye,” Pipsqueak agreed, shaking one hoof. “No doubt Dinky of the Rosedust be lookin’ for the other ones, and the third piece of the map, wherever it be, has the last. Don’t ye worry too much about that, Rumble,” he grinned at his crew. “It may be against the pirate’s code to take the treasure map of another crew, but it don’t say anything about the keys!”

“Doesn’t do us much good ‘til we have some keys of our own, though,” Snips observed, standing at the front entrance and lining himself up and looking straight ahead. “Applebloom, is this north?”

“I dunno,” Applebloom admitted.

Bee Bop rolled her eyes, trotting outside and looking around a moment. “Sun’s over there,” she said, holding out one hoof. “It’s after noon, so it’s setting. So that’s west. Meaning…” she used her other hoof to point in a direction slightly to the left of where Snips had been facing. “That’s north.”

Snips adjusted himself, then started off, counting as he went. At ten paces, he turned east and went two more. “Here,” he said, looking up. From where he was standing, all saw was bales of hay. “So…what are we looking for?”

“Gotta be up there,” Rumble decided, beating his wings. He was old enough that he could fly, albeit only over short distances, and a flat take-off was somewhat difficult. He nevertheless managed to rise quickly into the air, landing atop the bales of hay and looking around. “I don’t see any apples…”

“’Cause we don’t keep them here!” Applebloom objected.

“And the map says look high and deep,” Snips pointed out, biting down on one hay bale experimentally. “But how does that make any sense? You can’t look high and deep at the same time!”

“Yeah you can!” Bee Bop exclaimed, hopping up from hay bale to hay bale. Her wings weren’t as developed as Rumble’s, but she could still use them to get a notable boost as she leapt and landed next to Rumble – and then started digging down into the hay bale with her hooves and teeth.

“Hey!” Applebloom objected, climbing up the bales as Rumble started joining in with Bee Bop. “What’re ya doin? D’ya know how long it took us to make each one a’ these bales?”

The two pegasus foals paused, considering. “No,” Bee Bop admitted at length.

Applebloom paused halfway up the pile, thinking herself. “Actually since we got that roller, not that long. But that’s not the point! Y’all can’t just tear up our hay bales!”

“But the key is hidden in here somewhere!” Bee Bop objected, stomping her hoof.

“Aye!” Pipsqueak agreed, climbing up on the hay bale and joining Applebloom. “We might need to be makin’ a slight mess of the place, me matey.”

Applebloom tapped her hooves together pensively. “But you’ll help clean up afterwards?” she asked after a moment.

Pipsqueak blinked. “Help…clean up?” he asked. “Who’s ever heard of pirates who cleaned up after themselves? We’re supposed to ransack the port, take what we will, and then sail off into the sunset with our ill-gotten gains! And we’re in a race, remember?”

Rumble looked down the pile, at Pipsqueak. “But we’re not really pirates,” he said. “And I don’t want Applebloom to get in trouble with her sister or brother or granny.”

Pipsqueak blinked. He hadn’t considered that: this was Applebloom’s home port. It wasn’t like they could just blame it on some other group of pirates after the fact. “Fine,” he decided. “We’ll carefully ransack the port and clean up afterwards.”

And so began what was probably the cleanest ransacking in the history of piracy. The foals carefully inspected each bale of hay, pulling them apart carefully and making sure the hay was in neat piles. It wasn’t an easy process, and Applebloom mumbled the entire time about how she was probably going to get in trouble – but she dug just as hard as the other pirates. Alas, after pulling apart all the bales and going through each one as carefully as they could manage, they didn’t find a thing.

“Consarn it!” Applebloom exclaimed as they finished making the hay pile. “Now we did all this for nothin’!”

“You sure you’re reading that right?” Rumble asked, looking at Bee Bop, who had the map out again. Pipsqueak, meanwhile, started looking around the floor. It was dirt, and covered with stray bits of straw that the five hadn’t been able to gather up. He started walking along it carefully, tapping a hoof here and there.

“Of course I am!” Bee Bop objected, loud as usual. “It says ten paces, Snips walked ten paces!” She considered, eyes narrow. “Maybe it’s in a different pile of hay? Some ponies take longer steps than others…”

“Hey!” Snips objected, hopping forward as Pipsqueak continued to comb the ground. “Was that a short joke? I’m not short!”

“You kinda’ are,” Rumble said, standing next to Snips for comparison. “No offense.”

“You can’t just say no offense when you’re being offensive!” Snips objected.

Pipsqueak paused in his search, looking to Applebloom, who heaved a sigh. “Okay, break it up,” she said, pushing the two colts away from one another. “Ah’m quartermaster so if Ah say you have ta’ stop fightin’, then ya have ta’ stop fightin’. Captain’s orders.”

Rumble bristled a little. “What’s Pipsqueak the captain for, anyway?” he asked. “I’m the oldest.”

“Aye, but I be the one with the most pirate-like accent,” Pipsqueak countered. “And I was captain back during out sack of Neigh Orleans!”

“Talking like a pirate isn’t exactly a qualification, and that was back over the summer, anyway.  Plus, you brought us a treasure map that doesn’t work!”

Pipsqueak squared his shoulders against the older colt. “You tried to give me the black spot back during the summer, Rumble,” he said, drawing his sword of finest Caballerian steel from his back – well, wood, but whatever – and balancing it on the ground with one hoof. “But I won then, and led us to victory against the Neigh Orleaneans too, I did! You want to tip me the black spot now, you can, if’n you think you got the votes for it. But I think the scales might be tipped in my favor today, by thunder!”

Pipsqueak used his sword to stab at the ground he’d been inspecting. Instead of a dull thunk the foals were expecting, they instead were rewarded with a hollow thud, and the ground seemed to shudder a little beneath the dirt.

Pipsqueak smiled as he put his sword away. “Miss Bee Bop, if you please,” he ordered.

Bee Bop responded quickly, cantering over to where Pipsqueak had struck the ground, wings buzzing rapidly to blow away dust even as she cleared it with her hooves. After a few seconds, she revealed a small, wooden trap door. It was only a few hooves wide, not big enough at all to climb down, but easy enough to open once Bee Bop got her hooves under it and lifted. Snips was next-closest, and he reached in eagerly, pulling out whatever was inside. It was, predictably, an apple. What had not been anticipated, however – not even by Captain Pipsqueak, who found himself doing a double-take – was what the apple was made out of: silver.

“Whoa,” Bee Bop said, unusually quietly, as she stared. The rest of the foals all trotted over, looking at the apple. Pipsqueak tapped a hoof against it, and found that it was definitely a metal of some kind…and it definitely looked like silver.

“Uh-um…” he said, forgetting his pirate accent for the moment. “I, uh…wow.”

“No kidding,” Snips said as he looked it over. “That’s gotta be worth, like, at least twenty bits!”

“But there’s no way that Pinkie Pie would use real silver,” Rumble objected, trotting around the apple Snips held to look at it from all angles, then reached forward and rubbed at the apple with one hoof. “It’s gotta just be silver paint or something, and the apple’s actually made of tin, or something else like that.”

“Maybe,” Snips said. He shook the apple a little, but didn’t hear anything from the inside. “This is a lot of work to go to just to hide one clue, though.”

“But if she put this much effort into just one clue,” Bee Bop said, smiling, “imagine what the real treasure is like! There could be a hundred bits there! Or two hundred! Or more!”

“We gotta get movin’!” Applebloom exclaimed, hopping from one hoof to the next. “Dinky’s got Scootaloo on her side. That filly’s fast! She’ll get more keys than us, and then what’ll we do?”

“Right!” Pipsqueak exclaimed, charging towards the barn door, the other foals following, Snips carrying the apple in his telekinesis, while Bee Bop carried the map tucked under one wing once more. They had to get off this island and back out into the sea. The next key to Espada Noche’s treasure awaited! Captain Pipsqueak looked over his shoulder as he ran. “Anchors aweigh! Cast off the lines! Bee Bop, plot us a course – oof!”

The last came from Pipsqueak, not looking where he was going, charging headfirst into something big and red that didn’t move in the slightest from the collision.

“You okay?” A deep voice asked. Pipsqueak looked up, and saw himself looking at the biggest stallion he’d ever seen in real life before, red-coated, straw-maned, with shaggy fetlocks and a wooden collar about his neck. Hitched up to the collar was a cart, currently empty.

“Big MacIntosh!” Applebloom exclaimed, dashing forward and nuzzling her older brother. “Sorry! We’re just huntin’ treasure. It’s a race! Not against each other, though. It’s us against Dinky and her crew.”

Big Mac nodded, looking at the apple that Snips held in his telekinesis. “Wondered if anypony’d ever find that,” he remarked as he started trotting again.

Pipsqueak smiled brightly, before realizing what Big Mac had said. “Hey, wait a minute!” he exclaimed, hopping in front of the stallion. “You knew about the key?”

Big Mac considered. “Eeyup.”

“Do you know about any of the other ones?” He grabbed the wooden plank that was their treasure map from Bee Bop, and held it up. “Maybe some of the keys that aren’t on this map?”

Big Mac considered for a few moments, tapping a hoof to his mouth. “Eeyup.”

“Tell us!” Pipsqueak exclaimed.

“Please,” Rumble added on.

Big Mac considered for a few moments, looking between the foals, in particular Applebloom, who’s eyes had grown wide and lip was quivering. He sighed, however. “Eenope,” he said, making sure to add “Pinkie promise.”

The foals all groaned at that. Each of them understood that Pinkie took her Pinkie Promises very, very seriously. None of them even considered asking Big Mac to break it. Still, it was annoying at the moment that it was getting in their way.

“Well, thanks anyway – ” Pipsqueak began, getting ready to charge off as fast and as far as his hooves would carry him.

Applebloom held out a hoof to stop him. “Just a sec,” she said. “Big Mac, can you at least help us by takin’ us around town? Dinky’s got Scootaloo on her crew, and that ain’t fair!”

Big Mac considered. “Ah just got back from deliveries,” he said, pointing to the empty cart.

Applebloom looked at her older brother with eyes half-lidded. “Ah know that don’t tire you out none. And I know that you don’t have nothin’ else to do today. And…” she stepped up close to Big Mac with a smug look on her face, “Ah know what happened to them five cider barrels.”

Big Mac bristled, eyes wide. “Well, Ah know who broke the new plough,” he tried to counter.

“Which d’ya think is worse, though? ‘Cause Ah also know who got them barrels and why ya skimmed ‘em – ”

Big Mac held up a hoof, eyes closed. Applebloom’s sly grin widened, and nopony around was much surprised when Big Mac let out a slight whicker of annoyance. “Hop in,” he said to the five foals.

They did so, Pipsqueak grinning almost as much as Applebloom was. The cart, in his mind’s eye, wasn’t a cart anymore. It was his Hispaniola, the most dreaded pirate ship in the Thousand Islands, rescued from the Apple Island port where it had been impounded thanks to his quartermaster Applebloom greasing a few hooves and pulling some strings with her clan.

“Anchors aweigh!” he tried again. The anchor was pulled up as the Hispaniola turned about and away from the island, rounding in the cove she had lain in and set back out to sea. “Unfurl the sails!” Her apple-red sails were dropped by his loyal crew as the mighty ship of the line got underway. She was far larger than the schooner Rosedust that Captain Dinky was using, far more powerful, with more guns and a stronger hull. Hispaniola wasn’t as fast, either, but she could spend much longer at sea: she wouldn’t need to put into port to rest up as often.

It was missing only one thing, but Pipsqueak had prepared for that. He reached into his coat pocket, and produced a carefully-folded up square of linen. “Mister Rumble!” he commanded, hoofing over the linen. “Hoist the colors!”

Rumble did so without complaint, running it quickly up the ship’s main mast. It unfurled easily in the wind that favored the Hispaniola, revealing a black flag upon which was stitched a pony skull with a pair of red lines crossing down over the left eye, atop a pair of crossed cutlasses. It was Pipsqueak’s personal pirate flag, which his mother had sewn up for him.

Pipsqueak’s grin was wide indeed as he trotted across the deck to Bee Bop. “Now then,” he said, “plot us a course! Treasure awaits!”
> 3. The Jeweled Key of the Pirate Queen
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The seas flew beneath Rosedust’s hull as her sails, rose-colored like her name suggested, seemed to catch every stray zephyr and propel her forward towards her destination: The Isle of the Pirate Queen. Dinky nodded in approval at the distant sight of the island as she paced the deck of her ship. “Steady as she goes, Miss Scootaloo!” she commanded. “The waters of these parts are often quite crowded, and full of hidden dangers.”

“Huh?” Scootaloo asked, looking back from the ship’s wheel at her captain.

“We’re in the center of town, we don’t want to hit anypony or crash,” Featherweight explained for his captain, indicating a large number of ships that also occupied the waters around them, and the occasional rocky plinth that would jut from the surface of the sea. Or at least that was how Dinky chose to see it.

“Oh,” Scootaloo said, though she frowned, effortlessly guiding Rosedust through the crowded waters. “I’m a better driver than that – ”

“Thailor, actually,” Twist corrected, then grunted. “Sailor. Since sis is a ship.”

“You said ‘sis’ instead of ‘this,’” Snails observed

“Ugh!” Twist exclaimed, throwing her hooves up in frustration. This caused her to nearly fall backwards off the ship and into the no doubt shark-infested waters of the sea from the speed that Rosedust was moving at, but Dinky and Featherweight both steadied her. Twist barely seemed to notice. “Mom and dad say I’ll grow out of it but it’s taking too long and I don’t want to wait anymore! I hate my lisp! I wish it would just go away.”

Dinky gave Twist a friendly nuzzle – part of being a captain was seeing to the needs of one’s crew, after all. “You just said all that without lisping, though!”

Twist considered what she had just said, and smiled. “Yettthh!” she exclaimed, then realized that the lisp had come back. “Uuuugggghhhh!”

Dinky only chuckled as Rosedust at last began to slow as it neared the shores of the Isle of the Pirate Queen. Many of the Thousand Islands were overgrown tropical jungles, sandy deserts, or glorified atolls, but this wasn’t one of them. The Pirate Queen had claimed it as her own, and used the loot from her years of plunder to build a modest-but-well-appreciated trading stop in one of its coves, the cove itself shielded by tall sea-walls against any rogue waves. Being only a schooner, Rosedust was of shallow enough draft that it could sail right up to the dock that protruded out into the cove’s waters, coming up alongside it easily and stopping precisely where her pilot wanted her to. Scootaloo knew her ship well, and Rosedust appreciated the attention.

The crew disembarked, Dinky taking the lead as they walked down the dock, and to the fine estate that the Pirate Queen had built for herself upon the island. It was part fortress and part mansion, with high walls lined with cannons to fend of freebooters who had no respect for the status of the Pirate Queen. But the structure inside was much roomier than any fortress had a right to be, with large windows, a tower overlooking the sea, and even the personal pirate flag of the queen, a black flag with a stylized S over a pair of crossed, long crystals. Indeed, tastefully placed throughout the estate’s structure were large gemstones, each of which must have been worth a fortune all by themselves.

“Hey, wait, isn’t this your sister’s jewelry shop?” Featherweight asked.

Dinky stopped, inspecting the island’s fortress-mansion that was emphatically not her sister’s jewelry shop. “Hmm…it does look like something my sister would have enjoyed,” Dinky said, as the five of them proceeded through the main gates, which were open, and into the broad courtyard. “But my sister went to sea years ago, before I joined the army. We haven’t seen her in years and years and years…”

The five entered the estate proper, and froze at the sight. The entry hall was like that of any estate they might have expected to enter: large, with broad and tall windows framed by thick curtains, the curtains present as much to keep the heat down in the summer as to ward off the glare of the Sun. A set of stairs was directly in front of them, spiraling left and right to the estate’s second level, while numerous other doors lead deeper into the estate.

The stairs, however, were by and large unusable, because piled around their base was an uncountable number of gemstones, both cut and uncut, fixed into jewelry or left to sparkle and shine by themselves, glittering in the sunlight that came in from the windows and skylight. A bare hoof-full would have been a fine take for any day’s work of piracy, and there was far, far more than a bare hoof-full here.

The interior of the fortress-mansion was, of course, simply Amethyst Star’s Fine Jewelers, which did not have crystals and gemstones scattered haphazardly about it, but rather arranged them nearly within glass display cases. Fortuitously, being foals, the pirates' perception of reality did not necessarily have to match up with how they wanted to perceive it – even though they were perfectly aware of the real shape of the store, they were also perfectly aware of the shape they wanted to believe it took.

In the center of the pile as a throne, made of glittering crystals in a rainbow of colors that nearly made all the surrounding wealth look like nothing more than a pile of stones. And lounging on the crystal throne was the Pirate Queen herself. Dinky’s eyes widened when they settled on her. “Amethyst Star?” she asked, putting on the best-sounding surprised voice she could. “You’re Sparkler, the Pirate Queen?”

Sparkler – for indeed, that was who it was, Dinky’s older sister – offered a broad grin. She was wearing a pirate’s three-cornered hat, and an eyepatch as well. “Yup,” she said. “I had a visit from the ghost of Dread Quill-pac-tee – ”

“Kee-pac-tilly,” Snails ‘corrected.’

“ – that said you’d be coming.” Sparkler smiled. “I thought I’d weird out a few customers with the eye patch and pirate hat, but most ponies haven’t even batted an eye. Ponyville’s that kind of town, I guess.”

Scootaloo nodded sagely, as did the other foals. Ponyville was indeed a strange town, this was a known fact, even to pirate ponies amongst the Thousand Islands. “So…” the orange pegasus said, taking off her pirate’s hat/scooter helmet and taking out the folded-up piece of parchment that was their third of the treasure map. “This map says that the first key is here. Treasure glitters no matter where you are, but the first key glows brightest by far.”

“Yup,” Sparkler confirmed, one hoof at her eyepatch, rubbing the eye underneath it. After a moment, she decided to switch the patch to the other eye. She really did have a chair behind the counter of her store, though it was just a normal chair rather than a crystal throne. “Pinkie Pie came in here a few months ago and asked me help her set up this big treasure hunt, in case of treasure hunt emergencies.” She grinned. “I’m going to admit, I didn’t even know those happened. But then she showed up this morning with the hat and eye patch.” She adjusted the hat a little, then looked back down to the foals. “Pirate queen, huh?”

Dinky nodded, looking around at the piles and piles of treasure that surrounded her crew. “On account of all the booty you acquired over a long and successful pirate career,” Dinky noted. “Wow, my own sister – Pirate Queen! Or…” Dinky paused, putting a hoof to her mouth. “Wait, though, me and my crew are supposed to have been part of the Equestrian Army. Our fort was sacked, though, and Pipsqueak sold us all into slavery.”

“He did?” Sparkler asked, eyes widening as she sat forward on her throne.

“Pipsqueak gets really into these kinds of games,” Featherweight provided.

“But we escaped, anyway,” Dinky said. “And now we’re trying to find Espada Noche’s treasure so that we can make everything up to Equestria. But if I was part of the Equestrian Army, I don’t think I’d be happy if my sister was a pirate queen!” She finished the last with a bit of indignation, hopping forward to put on the best glare towards Sparkler that she could, though at the same time fighting down a smile.

Sparkler grinned herself, then leaned back on her throne, one hoof to her forehead in distress as she picked up the story where Dinky had left off. “I had no choice!” she exclaimed. “Our family needed money, Dinky! Who do you think paid to put you through basic training and commissioned you as a captain?”

Dinky’s eyes widened. “I thought momma did!”

“She helped,” Sparkler said quickly. “But your mother couldn’t do it on her own, and even though you’re only my half-sister, I love you twice as much to make up for it, and couldn’t bear to see your dreams crushed. So I set out to sea! I thought I’d make my fortune as a travelling…um…gem-cutter?” Sparkler paused at that – something didn’t seem quite right…

“Or maybe looking for a lotht gemthtone mine,” Twist suggested.

Sparkler tapped a hoof on the floor and pointed at Twist. “Right. That’s better. I thought I’d find my fortune in the jungles of Farasi. But I never made it there!” She flopped back on her chair, lying over its arms in dismay. “My ship was attacked by pirates. Everypony on board was captured, including me. But while everypony else was sold in the slave markets, I was kept by the pirate captain – a pony named Northern Lion. He was tall and strong and devilishly handsome and wanted to keep me for himself to be his cabin…uh…” she trailed off again, staring at the foals, then coughed into one hoof. “I mean, um…appraising. Right. I was good at appraisal, so that’s why he kept me. As his…accountant.”

“Hey, that sounds like one of the books my sister has,” Snails noted, looking up in thought. “Northern Lion, yeah, same pirate that was on the cover. Raindrops says I’m not allowed to read it, though.”

“It’s – boring,” Sparkler said, coughing again into a hoof. “Anyway, yeah. So that’s why I’m Pirate Queen, Dinky. But I’m a good pirate. I robbed from the rich and gave to the needy – keeping a little for myself, of course.”

Dinky looked around at the piles and piles and piles of gemstones scattered everywhere. “A little,” she echoed.

“Hey, I was needy, too,” Sparkler objected, waving a hoof in the air. “But anyway. I guess you want to find the key about now?”

The five foals all nodded eagerly, and Sparkler grinned, getting off of her chair and trotting over to one pile of gemstones, rooting through it with hoof and telekinesis both. After a few moments, she came back to the young pirates, and laid out a series of long, thin crystals in front of them, each a different color – red, blue, yellow, green, purple, orange, silver, and even a black one.

“Okay,” she said. “One of these is the key. The other ones are just regular crystals. You can take one – and only one – with you from my island.”

The five pirates looked between each other. “But what if we take the wrong key?” Featherweight asked.

“And how can we tell which one ith – is – right?” Twist asked as she tapped at one crystal with a hoof, then another. Neither reacted any differently.

Sparkler smiled, but she ran a hoof across her closed mouth – zipping it shut. 

The five foals groaned. “Okay,” Scootaloo said, trotting up to the keys and looking them over. “We have to guess what kind of color a key would be, then…”

“Thilver,” Twist said. “That’th the color of the key to my bedroom.”

“But that’s made out of metal,” Dinky observed, though she did push the silver one to the side. “These are crystals.”

“If I was a key, what color would I be…?” Scootaloo wondered aloud.

“Orange,” Snails provided, poking filly’s side. He reached out and held up the orange key. “This one’s what I’d be if I was a key, I guess. Or maybe the yellow one.” He held up the yellow key. “Both of these together.”

“I guess me and Dinky and Twist would be silver,” Featherweight observed, picking up that crystal and looking it over. It was a pale silver, almost white, and so almost matching the coat of Featherweight and Twist “Unless Twist was red ‘cause of her mane.”

“My coat’s got purple in it, though,” Dinky pointed out, holding up the purple crystal in her hooves. She wanted to use her telekinesis, but she didn’t want to risk accidentally breaking what might be a key to a treasure chest, and these crystals looked fragile. “So maybe I’d be this if I was a key.”

“So it might be orange, yellow, red, silver, or purple,” Scootaloo said, nodding as she pushed aside the blue, green, and black crystals. “So which one from here?”

Dinky looked to Sparkler, who shrugged, leaning back in her crystal throne yet again. “Can’t say,” she said. “Pinkie promise. I can’t even tell you if you’re on the right track or not.”

The foals groaned, looking over the crystals and scratching heads or chins as they tried to puzzle their way through the challenge. “This is hard,” Scootaloo said. “How are we supposed to pick between them? We don’t have anything to go by!”

The other foals agreed, or began to. Dinky’s ears perked up after a moment. “Wait, yeah we do!” she said, reaching for the map that they had put on the floor and holding it up, looking it over. She found Espada Noche’s clue for the first key quickly. “Treasure glitters no matter where you are, but the first key glows brightest by far. So we have to find the key that glitters the most!”

“Glows,” Snails corrected.

“They mean the same thing,” Dinky informed the colt, reasonably certain she was correct, as they all leaned down to the crystals they had chosen, examining them closely. Several moments passed by as they looked for any stray sparkle, glistening, or effervescence of any kind. After a few minutes, however, they all leaned back, sighing as one. “Nothing,” Twist said, rolling the purple crystal between her hooves on the floor. “Though, I think purple is the brightest color here.”

“No, it’s this silver one,” Featherweight insisted, holding it next to the purple one. “See? It’s a lot brighter.”

“Paler,” Twist objected. “It’s not glittering brighter.”

“Glowing,” Snails corrected.

“Same thing,” Scootaloo said, looking between the two crystals herself. “Come on, one of you is glittering brighter…”

“Glowing – hey!” Snails exclaimed, eyes wide. “I got it! Maybe the crystal is like a glow worm!”

“Huh?” Scootaloo asked, head tilting to the side. 

Snails ignored her, dashing over to the large windows of Sparkler’s treasure room and tugging at the voluminous curtains that hung there with his mouth, pulling them closed one at a time. Gradually, the room was plunged into blackness as the light outside was blocked. Dinky instinctively lit up her horn to provide light, but Snails waved a hoof at her.

Dinky quelled her light, and for a moment the room was black. Gradually, however, light began to appear – not from the horns of any of the unicorns in the room, but rather a low but notable glow coming from one of the crystals – the purple one. “Ha!” Snails exclaimed, hopping in place a moment before dashing forward and towards the glow. He bumped into Scootaloo on the way due to the darkness, but the filly didn’t seem to mind as the five of them all crowded around the crystal. “See? All of them glitter but only this one glows! Like a glow worm!”

“That’s great!” Dinky exclaimed, as Snails got a nuzzle of appreciation from each of the rest of the crew. “I knew having an etymologist would be a good addition to the crew!”

“Entomologist,” Snails corrected automatically. It was a common mistake.

Dinky waved a hoof at it, as behind her, Sparkler’s horn glowed and she pulled open the curtains, letting sunlight back in. “Technically I’m still not allowed to say whether or not you found the right crystal,” the Pirate Queen said. “But…well, if you did, good job! I thought the puzzle was too hard for foals, but I guess Pinkie knew what she was doing when she had me enchant that crystal, which may or may not be the right one.”

Dinky smiled, certain that, thanks to Snails, they had the right crystal now. “Thanks!”

Sparkler gathered up the false keys, putting them back in the pile of gemstones where the pirate queen had gotten them from. “Careful with the key, too. It’s kind of brittle – not too brittle, just, y’know, less than your normal crystal.”

The foals nodded, as Dinky looked over the key. “Is it really okay for us to take it?” she asked, glancing around and dropping character for a moment and looking around the store. The prices on most of the jewelry was…intimidating. Sure, Dinky had bought something from here before, when she and Sparkler had first met, but it had taken her a whole year to save up for what she’s bought, and it had been fairly cheap and on sale besides.

Sparkler, however, only smiled and waved a hoof. “It’s quartz. There is literally a field full of it and dozens of other semi-precious stones only about an hour’s trot away from here – it’s part of why I moved to Ponyville. Plus, I couldn’t use that gem for jewelry anyway. There’s some flaws in it…I won’t bore you with the details, but the short version is that I couldn’t cut it any smaller than it is right now without shattering the whole thing. I would have thrown it out along with all the other flawed crystals I end up with if not for Pinkie.”

Dinky looked back to the gemstone. It looked perfect – but then, her sister’s special talent was gem-cutting. She knew what she was talking about. “Okay,” she said. “Well, we’ll be careful with it just the same.”

Sparkler nodded, then waved both hooves at the foals in a shooing motion. “Now get going, you five! You’re in a race, aren’t you?”

Scootaloo reacted first. “That’s right!” she said, turning around an galloping towards the exit of the pirate queen’s fortress-mansion. “We have to get going!”

“Right!” Dinky agreed. The rest of her crew went outside, but Dinky lingered a moment, dashing up to Sparkler and delivering a quick nuzzle, which her sister returned. “Thanks, Pirate Queen Sparkler!”

“Retired,” Sparkler said. “Life of luxury and riches for me now – apparently. I could get used to that.”

Dinky giggled, turning and dashing back out to her crew, who was waiting for her on the pier that Rosedust had docked at. They climbed aboard quickly, Scootaloo getting behind the navigator’s wheel as they took out their treasure map. “Okay, next stop…The Islands of Storm!” She placed a hoof on the map, which indicated a pair of twin islands near the center of the Thousand Islands, said to be where all the mighty hurricanes that ravaged the Southern Sea originated. “And the hint is…look up.”

The other four foals all did, at the somewhat cloudy afternoon sky. “Is that it?” Featherweight asked. “Just…look up?”

“Uh-huh,” Dinky confirmed. “I guess we’ll figure out more once we get there. Scootaloo! Set sail for the Islands of Storm!”
> 4. The Sorceress of the Atoll
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why are we taking this if we could just walk to the post office?” Firelock asked

Silver Spoon turned up her nose slightly at the suggestion of walking, even as she shifted a little to get more comfortable in her seat. “My daddy got a new carriage, and it should be put to use,” she answered. “That’s why.”

The five of them were, indeed, sitting in a brand-new and exceptionally well-appointed carriage, being pulled along by two of Silver Spoon’s father’s servants at a leisurely pace through Ponyville. The carriage’s interior had two sets of plush seats facing one another, as well as a table that could be folded up and locked into place from one of the doors, though currently that was stowed. Beneath each seat were small cabinets containing drinks that the foals knew better than to open and drink. Over the rear seat was an additional storage shelf, though it was empty, while the front seat had a window that could be slid open in order to talk to the ponies pulling the carriage.

“How much treasure do you think there is?” Sweetie Belle asked, leaning back in the plush back seat and putting a hoof to her mouth. She was sitting on the left side of her seat, with Firelock on the right and Alula between them.

Diamond Tiara, sitting next to Silver Spoon on the front seat, rolled her eyes. “There can’t be much,” she said. “Pinkie Pie is just a baker. She doesn’t make nearly as much as my daddy, or Silver Spoon’s. She’s not rich.”

“Wait, I thought this was Dread Cipactli’s treasure?” Sweetie asked, looking down from her musings and appearing confused.

“No, it’s Espada Noche’s,” Firelock explained. “Dread Cipactli was the monster who had it, but then Espada Noche defeated her and took it.”

“Oh…”

“Except it’s not,” Diamond Tiara said, making a cutting motion with one hoof. “It’s Pinkie Pie’s. There’s no way a pirate like Espada Noche would hide his treasure in Ponyville. And even if he did, if Pinkie Pie knew where it was, why would she tell us rather than get it for herself?”

The three foals in the back seat were quiet at that, until Alula looked up, wings flaring a little. “Because it’s Pinkie Pie?” she asked.

Diamond Tiara opened her mouth to begin a tirade, but considered what she knew about Pinkie. “Maybe,” she conceded. “But I don’t think so.”

Firelock let out a long sigh, looking out the window of the carriage. “It might’ve been fun to pretend…”

Diamond Tiara stuck up her nose, a move that Silver Spoon copied. “We don’t need to pretend,” Silver Spoon said for her friend. “This is Ponyville, not the Thousand Islands, and were in a carriage, not a ship, and there’s no pirates – ”

“Avast!”

---

Rosedust cut through the waves with speed that would have made lightning envious, her draft so shallow that at times it seemed as though the ship wasn’t even in the water at all, but rather hovering above it. The schooner may have been small, but there wasn’t a ship in all the Thousand Islands that could beat her for speed.

Sometimes, however, this was a bad thing. “Avast!” Scootaloo cried out when, out of nowhere, a tri-masted galleon seemed to materialize directly in their path. The crew of Rosedust all cried out in surprise and fear as Scootaloo turned her wheel rapidly, trying at once to cut her speed and change her course. The waves roiled beneath her hull as the ship spun on her stern. Were Rosedust inexplicably a scooter traveling along a dirt road, there would have been the sound of screeching tires, and a dust cloud thrown into the air. As it was, there was a large spray of water that fell back upon the deck of Rosedust, soaking all those aboard.

“Yikes,” Scootaloo said. “Everypony okay?”

There was some coughing from the crew, but nopony had fallen overboard. “Scootaloo!” Captain Dinky called from amidships. “You have to be more careful!”

Scootaloo’s wings buzzed a little in indignation, even as Rosedust settled down on the sea’s surface. “I stopped us in time, didn’t I?” she asked.

“What did we almost hit, anyway?” Featherweight asked, looking up at the galleon, twice the size of Rosedust. A quintet of faces appeared over its side, looking down at the schooner and her crew.

“A galleon,” Scootaloo said quickly, jumping at the chance to identify their obstacle before anypony else could. “A big one! And…” she looked at the five ponies inside, and then her eyes widened. “And Princess Alula is aboard!”

The other four members of Rosedust’s crew gasped, while four of the ponies aboard the galleon all looked to Princess Alula, who herself shrank down, ears flat against her head. “I’m not a princess…” she tried.

One of the crew of the galleon, a silver earth pony, leaned over the side and pointed a hoof down at Scootaloo at the same time. “You nearly crashed into my daddy’s new carriage!” she exclaimed over Alula’s objection.

“Galleon,” Snails corrected from his position, at the stern of Rosedust.

“It’s not a galleon, it’s a carriage!” the silver pony exclaimed. She pointed down the length of her ship. “Does a galleon have two ponies pulling it?”

The crew of Rosedust looked at the bow of the galleon, trying to sort out what they were looking at. “Figureheadth,” Twist reasoned.

One of the figureheads turned to regard Scootaloo. “Miss Silver Spoon is correct, little filly,” he said. “You could have been seriously hurt.”

“Magic, talking figureheads!” Twist appended.

The figurehead looked confused for a moment, looking to his counterpart, who only shook his own head and rolled his eyes. Scootaloo doffed her cap at the sight of obviously very powerful magic, which of course made perfect sense on a ship that was carrying the Princess Alula. “I’m sorry, mister figurehead,” she said. “But we’re in a race and we need to get to the Isles of Storm as fast as possible. Though I guess we don’t have to worry too much. Pipsqueak doesn’t even have a ship!”

“Eenope.”

The crew of Rosedust froze at the sound, then turned around as one. They found themselves staring at a mountain of wood and sail, a ship that was twice again the size of the galleon that they had nearly crashed into. Its hull was painted burgundy red, as were its sails. Waving in the wind amongst its tallest mast was a black pirate flag.

Dinky gasped, pointing a hoof. “It’s the Pirate King, Captain Pipsqueak of the Hispaniola!” she exclaimed.

---

Diamond Tiara blinked as she looked out the window of her carriage, trying to parse through how everypony outside seemed to be acting. “What?” she asked.

“Ha-ha!” Pipsqueak, who had been riding in the back of a cart that was empty of hay but full of foals – himself, Bee Bop, Applebloom, Rumble, and Snips – leaped forward and onto the back of Big MacIntosh, who was pulling the cart and had a homemade pirate flag hanging over his withers. “That’s right, Dinky! Oh,” he paused a moment, taking off a pirate hat that he was wearing and holding it to his chest. “I’m sorry, I forgot. Captain Dinky of the Equestrian Army. It’s been so long!”

“…what?” Diamond Tiara asked.

The other foals on Big Mac’s hay cart came to its edge, each looking down at the small scooter that Scootaloo had been riding, along with the wagon attached to it that was equally as full of ponies as Big Mac’s hay cart, albeit cramped in much tighter. Dinky leaned forward, pointing up to Pipsqueak. “You may have forgotten me and my crew. But I’ve not forgotten how you sold us all into slavery, Pipsqueak the Pirate!”

“Was that me?” Pipsqueak asked nonchalantly. “Oh, yes! I remember now! When I sacked Neigh Orleans!”

“What?” Diamond Tiara repeated. “Will somepony please tell me what is going on?”

“Over the summer,” Firelock explained. “When Pipsqueak first moved to town. We had a big game of pirate attack over at the Castle Tree, and the pirates won.” She stood up tall at that. “I was a pirate.”

“Aye, ye was, and a fine filly o’ fortune at that!” Pipsqueak exclaimed, hopping forward yet again, balancing with surprising skill on Big MacIntosh’s head. The red stallion grunted a little in annoyance, but didn’t seem to notice the weight otherwise. Pipsqueak, meanwhile, eyed Diamond Tiara’s carriage. “But what crowd have ye fallen in with here? A merchant ship ripe for the plunder?” He leaned forward, eyeing Alula. “Or a royal consort, maybe? What be the name of this here ship?”

“It’s not a ship, it’s a carriage,” Silver Spoon objected. “And we’re not playing your stupid game.”

“Yeah we are!” Sweetie Belle objected, diving back into the carriage, and then pulling out the piece of cloth that Pinkie had given them. “We have part of the treasure map and we’re after the treasure and everything!”

The eyes of the ten foals outside of the carriage lit up at the sight of the cloth and the map drawn on it. “The third piece!” They all exclaimed as one, rivalry between each other forgotten even as Big Mac rolled his eyes, and the ponies pulling Silver Spoon’s carriage did likewise. “I knew you were rival pirates!” Pipsqueak exclaimed, drawing the wooden sword that was slung over his back and waving it around in his mouth in what probably would have been a threatening manner were it a real sword and he weren’t ten feet away.

“We’re not pirates!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed, throwing her hooves in the air. How come everypony in Ponyville but her seemed to go crazy at the drop of a hat? “We’re just going to get the stupid treasure and then go back to my place for my tea party that I invited you all to but none of you wanted to come!”

“You didn’t invite all of us,” Snips objected from his place amongst Pipsqueak’s band.

“Who cares?” Snails asked heatedly from amongst Dinky’s own crew, even as he looked away from Snails rather pointedly.

“Maybe I do!” Snips objected with a stomp of his hoof, looking away himself and whickering.

Diamond Tiara looked between the two normally inseparable friends, briefly wondered what could have made the two colts fight, but decided she most definitely did not care to know at the moment. “We’re not pirates,” she repeated.

“But we have a treasure map,” Sweetie Belle whined, waving it around.

“And we’re looking for treasure!” Firelock exclaimed. “That sounds pretty pirate-y to me.”

“But we don’t need to be pirates,” Silver Spoon said, trying a different tack from Diamond Tiara. “My daddy and Diamond Tiara’s daddy are rich, and Alula’s a princess – ” Alula sank deeper into her seat at that, mumbling something, “and your sister, Sweetie Belle, wouldn’t want you to be a pirate either. The only one here who could be a pirate would be you, Firelock!”

Dinky and Pipsqueak, meanwhile, had been talking to one another, Pipsqueak having hopped down from Big Mac’s head and onto the ground. The two nodded as one, bumped hooves, and Pipsqueak hopped back onto the hay cart. “Right,” he said. “We’ve been holdin’ a captains’ council, and decided that ye are not pirates.”

Diamond Tiara let out a sigh of relief. The last thing she needed was a rumor that she was a pirate being spread around town. “Thank-you,” she said, mostly sincerely.

“You’re all part of the Royal Equestrian Navy!” Dinky exclaimed happily.

“What?”

---

The galleon, schooner, and ship-of-the-line had adjusted their positions before dropping anchor so that their captains could parley. Each had their jibbooms almost touching, and the crews of each ship looked on eagerly as their captains hashed things out.

“We’re a bunch of outcasts and renegades,” Dinky explained from her position, sitting on the fo’c’sle of Rosedust. One front hoof was raised, while the other swept back to indicate her crew. “We’re all pirates by circumstance! When Neigh Orleans was sacked, we were sold into slavery, but managed to escape and come back together, and get a ship. And we’re after the treasure of Espada Noche because we want to be able to return to Equestria with enough bits to make up for what went wrong!”

Pipsqueak, from his own position hanging onto the rigging of the massive ship-of-the-line that was Hispaniola, nodded. “And we be a band of cutthroats and ne’er-do-wells,” he explained. “I’ve sliced and diced me way to the top of the food chain, and now I’m the Pirate King, and me crew is the most violent and bloodthirsty pack o’ savages ye have ever seen!”

“Arrrr!” Bee Bop exclaimed from the crow’s nest of Hispaniola, for effect.

Diamond Tiara was sitting amidships on her galleon, leaning one front leg on the railing while the other hung limply over its side. “So what does that make us?” she asked in a dull, uninterested voice. Silver Spoon feigned disinterest of her own, but her perked ears betrayed her apparently growing curiosity, while the other three foals were rapt with attention as the galleon bobbed up and down in the waves.

“You,” Pipsqueak said, “are all members of the Royal Equestrian Navy, like we said! You’ve got an official writ from the Princess herself to scour the seven seas for the treasure of Espada Noche, ‘cause you know that pirates and scallywags and the like are looking for it but she wants it first!”

“You’ve got the newest and best ship in the Navy, too!” Dinky continued. “Sure, it’s not as fast as Rosedust or as big as Hispaniola, but it’s got the best guns!” she pointed at Firelock, who’s eyes lit up brightly, now dressed in a striped shirt and with a bandana over her head, though careful to avoid her horn.

“And one of the most knowledgeable ponies in Equestria! Some would call her a living dictionary!” Pipsqueak added, pointing at Sweetie Belle. The filly beamed with pride, as in her mind she was dressed like a scholar-adventurer of the time, complete with a long coat brimming with scrolls and notes. Pipsqueak then pointed at Alula. “And the princess also sent along her niece, Princess Alula Plutonia, to make sure everything went according to plan!” Alula seemed somewhat less happy than Firelock or Sweetie Belle, despite being decked out in noble fineries that were nevertheless functional for a pony on a high seas adventure. Pipsqueak noticed Alula’s discomfort, and added quickly “and also because Princess Alula wanted to go on an adventure away from the Royal Court and be treated like everypony else!” Alula brightened at that.

“And you two,” Dinky continued, pointing at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, “are the captain and first mate, from Equestria’s wealthiest families!”

“Obviously,” Silver Spoon said, brushing herself as though straightening an officer’s uniform. 

Diamond Tiara – who, in the minds of every foal but herself, was now wearing the captain’s outfit of the Equestrian Navy, including a hat, though she still wore her tiara over the hat as well – glared a moment at Silver Spoon’s actions, before looking back to Dinky and Pipsqueak. “Great,” she said. “Now that that’s been sorted out, can we get going? This treasure isn’t going to get itself.”

Dinky and Pipsqueak looked at each other across the decks of their ships, nodding as one. “Right!” Dinky exclaimed, turning and pointing to Scootaloo. “Weigh anchor! Set the sails!”

“Aye, what she said!” Pipsqueak proclaimed to his own crew. “This parley has given us a chance to catch up to Rosedust, and I’ll no have it wasted, me harteys!”

The schooner and ship-of-the-line pulled away from the galleon, sailing off in opposite directions as they went to continue their search of the Thousand Islands for the keys to Espada Noche’s treasure. Diamond Tiara let out a long, relieved sigh. “Finally,” she hissed, looking back to her crew. “Now let’s go and get that treasure and be done with this already!” She looked down at the magic figureheads of the galleon. “Take us to the post office!”

“Please,” Alula added after a moment for her captain. The figureheads, which were well-paid despite being merely magical wood and so could put up with their captain’s impoliteness, nodded, and the galleon got underway, anchor coiling up under its own power and wind filling her sails. 

The crew was largely silent for a time as the leagues rolled by and they drew ever-nearer to Cutthroat Island. At length, Sweetie Belle spoke up. “So what’s our ship’s name?”

Diamond Tiara turned to glare down at Sweetie, standing amidships. “This isn’t a ship!” she said. “It’s a carriage!”

“Scootaloo said we were in a galleon, though,” Firelock pointed out. “And we’ve got a map, and we’re hunting for treasure, and doing all sorts of other pirate-y stuff.”

“Pipsqueak also said that you were a pirate,” Silver Spoon pointed out. “But now you’re here with us, and Dinky and Pipsqueak said we weren’t pirates. What about that, huh?”

Firelock rolled her eyes. “I retired from piracy, duh,” she reasoned. “Neigh Orleans was a good haul so I went back home to Equestria. But then when the Princess commissioned this voyage, I joined up, since I used to be a pirate and know the waters of the Thousand Islands! And also ‘cause Alula’s my friend.”

There was a moment’s pause, before Silver Spoon looked away. “I guess that makes sense,” she admitted, straightening her glasses.

“No it doesn’t!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed.

“Does too!” Sweetie Belle objected.

“I think it does,” Alula agreed. She looked at Diamond Tiara, swallowing her nervousness and reminding herself that she – if she really was sent by the Princess and was a Princess herself – then she was probably the ship’s master, while Diamond Tiara was only its captain. Maybe for once she could actually go along with the foals of town treating her like a princess. “And besides, carriages can have names too.”

“That’s right!” Firelock pressed. “So whether this is a ship – ” which it was “ – or just a carriage, it can have a name either way!”

Diamond Tiara looked around at her crew, and seemed to come to the realization that she was out-voted here, what with even Silver Spoon apparently wanted to at least play along. Captains were not supposed to be out-voted, she was pretty sure. “Well…fine!” she exclaimed. “But if this carriage is going to have a name, I get to pick it since I’m captain, and because I didn’t even want to do this treasure hunt anyway! I just wanted tea!”

Firelock, Alula, and Sweetie Belle looked between each other, then to Silver Spoon, the first mate. The four other foals nodded. “Okay,” Silver Spoon said for them all. “That’s fair.”

“Good. Then this carriage is the Diamond Tiara.”

The captain had probably been expecting some kind of mutiny, or argument, or something else that would let her hop in the jolly-boat and row home and put what she considered to be a gigantic mess behind her. Instead, the four foals all nodded. “Okay,” Firelock agreed for them.

“What?” Diamond Tiara asked. She looked at Silver Spoon. “But – wait – but, it’s you’re carriage! Aren’t you mad?”

Silver Spoon shrugged. “I have a sh – a carriage at home named after me already,” she said.

“And Diamond Tiara is a good name for a ship,” Alula added.

“What’s that supposed to – ”

“We’re here,” said one of the figureheads of the newly-christened Diamond Tiara. The captain looked out across the bow, and saw that, indeed, the ship had dropped anchor once more, and was moored now in a cove alongside a tiny spit of an island – barely more than a glorified sandbar, really, no more than a mile across and home to only a few lonely palm trees and a single stone building in its middle, three stories tall and more of a glorified shack than anything else. A faded sign on the front marked it as a postal relay station.

“All ashore that’s goin’ ashore!” Sweetie Belle called happily as the crew piled into Diamond Tiara’s jolly-boat. The captain rolled her eyes at that, but came along with her crew anyway, mumbling and grumbling to herself as she did. In just a few minutes, the crew was upon the sandy beach, and trotting towards the relay station. Sweetie Belle had the treasure map out in front of her, held in her green telekinetic glow. “According to this,” she said, “the treasure is located just behind the post station. All we have to do is dig it up. We’ll be done in no time!”

“Dig?” Diamond Tiara demanded. “Nopony said anything about digging!” She looked to Silver Spoon. “Still want to play pirate?”

Silver Spoon looked decidedly unhappy about the prospect herself. “Well…that’s why we have a crew,” she said, once again adjusting her glasses as the five of them rounded the post station. They found it to be fairly unremarkable, a small clearing in which there seemed to be a fire pit, along with a quintet of shovels. Each foal blinked at the sight. “That’s helpful,” Silver Spoon said.

“I’m not complaining,” Diamond Tiara commented, pointing at the shovels. “Okay, crew, get to digging! Let’s get this treasure and go home.”

Her crew did so. Despite each of them being a unicorn, or half-unicorn in Alula’s case, none of their telekinetic abilities were quite developed enough for them to use the shovels with their magic alone, so they instead resorted to mouths and hooves. The sand that they were digging through parted easily enough, though, and it wasn’t long before Alula’s shovel produced a solid thunk when she thrust it into the ground. “I found it!” she exclaimed happily, wings buzzing. The foals redoubled their efforts, and even Silver Spoon joined in in helping clear the sand away from the treasure chest.

“Finally!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed happily, trotting up to the chest. “Now let’s just open it and get our treasure!”

“Right!” Firelock exclaimed happily, trotting to the front of the chest, putting a hoof on it – and stopping, eyeing the lock that was securely fastened to it. “Oh, um…does anypony have the key?”

Captain Diamond Tiara froze. “Key?” she asked.

---

“What key?!”

“Did you say something?” Pipsqueak asked Snips as the Hispaniola moved through the waters at her best speed, towards the Atoll of Knowing.

“No,” Snips answered, though his own ears were as perked at the sound that they had heard from across the distant horizon. The two looked back in the direction they had come, from their parley with the Equestrian galleon and their rival pirate crew of Rosedust. There was no follow-up noise, however, so the two just shrugged it off as Hispaniola continued through the waves.

“So…you’re having a fight with Snails?” Pipsqueak ventured after a moment. He couldn’t be a heartless captain all the time – not if he wanted to make sure he could keep the votes needed to stay captain, anyway, in case Rumble made a go for it again. “What’s the problem?”

Snips crossed his two front hooves in front of him. “Doesn’t matter,” he insisted.

“It’s got something to do with Diamond Tiara, though,” Pipsqueak said, trying a different tack. “And seeing as now she’s got a crew and ship of her own, I need to know – ”

“Land ho!” Bee Bop, the ship's navigator, called.

Snips and Pipsqueak both rushed to the rail of Hispaniola, their discussion forgotten for the moment as the Atoll of Knowing came into view. Like any atoll, it consisted of a coral-made island ring that served as a barrier, separating the sea from the broad and relatively shallow lagoon on the inside. The atoll was large enough that some grass and palm trees had taken route in large areas. Of particular note was the greatest of these, a huge tree that seemed to be interspersed with coral growths up its entire length, with roots that dug deep into the atoll beneath it. The tree was, furthermore, obviously hollowed out and inhabited, as there were windows, a balcony, and even an observatory. Powerful and strange magic was a-hoof here, it was clear.

There was a dock near the tree, the water near it just deep enough for Hispaniola to stop at. “Right,” Pipsqueak said, hopping off and onto the dock once Hispaniola’s lines were tied. The figurehead let out a slight huff, but the pirate captain ignored it. “We can no be chargin’ in here with cutlasses drawn and lookin’ for a fight. It’s said that the Atoll is home to a powerful sorceress, like none other on the seas! We’re gonna have to do this all diplomatic-like.”

The pirate crew made their way along the dock and to the tree, finding the way inside quickly. Steeling himself against the challenges soon to come, Pipsqueak opened the door, and his crew entered.

“Oh – hello!” A voice called as the door opened. Inside, the tree was revealed to have a cavernous interior that interior was loaded from floor to ceiling with books of every sort – except were space was made for tables, upon which sat eldritch experiments. Pipsqueak couldn’t even begin to guess at the purposes behind the vials, and beakers, and tubes and conduits that lay upon the tables, and even the bloody King of Pirates didn’t want to inspect the ingredients going into the experiments too closely.

The one who had spoken was a unicorn mare with a purple coat, wearing a turban on her head with a crown of parrot feathers, and bedecked in voluminous robes. This, then, was the Sorceress of the Atoll, the one that the crew of the Hispaniola had come seeking. She considered them for a few moments, looking confused. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “You’re all here for that game that Pinkie Pie is playing, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Rumble answered.

“No!” Pipsqueak declared at the same time. “We be the crew of the Hispaniola, following the map of Espada Noche, looking for the keys to the lost treasure of Dread Cipactli!”

The Sorceress blinked a moment as Rumble sighed. “Oh – oh! Right. I should be in character, shouldn’t I?” she asked. “Right, uh…welcome to my atoll!” She waved her hooves over her head and set her horn glowing, though her actual words were fairly quiet.

Pipsqueak paid no mind to the Sorceress’ temporary slip, as he knew that those who dedicated themselves to the study of magic could be a strange lot, especially if they isolated themselves in islands in the middle of the Southern Sea. His navigator, Bee Bop, stepped forward. “Oh great Sorceress of the Atoll!” she proclaimed loudly. “What do we need to do to earn the key?”

The Sorceress winced a little, and waved her hoofs. “Um, first…could you keep your voice down? This is a library, after all.”

The other four foals giggled at the thought of Bee Bop actually doing that, but the pegasus filly didn’t seem to notice them. “Okay!” she agreed happily – and loudly, albeit not as loudly as before.

The Sorceress winced yet again. “A little less,” she suggested.

“How’s this?”

“Tiny bit more…”

Bee Bop sighed. “How about now? I’m practically whispering!”

“…it’ll do,” the Sorceress said with a sigh, waving a hoof and indicating that they follow her to the middle of her tree. “Now then,” she said. “Pinkie Pie – sorry, Dread Cipactli – said that I can come up with any sort of challenge I want before giving you the key.”

“Makes sense,” Applebloom said. “So what’ll you be doin’, Miss Sparkle?”

The Sorceress – who didn’t seem to mind being addressed as Miss Sparkle – smiled deviously as she came to a stop, turning around and tapping her hooves together. “I’m going to ask you riddles,” she said, “and as soon as you can answer five of them correctly, I’ll let you have the Book Key.”

The pirate crew stared at the sorceress. “A quiz?” Snips asked. “Aw, but – but we just had a test in school!”

“Aye,” Pipsqueak agreed, humoring his bosun since, after all, Pirate Kings didn’t need to go to school. “But this here be the Atoll of Knowing. So it comes as no surprise. I think we can meet this challenge!”

“Ah,” the Sorceress said, horn once more glowing. “But – for each question you get wrong, I put a curse on whoever answered it wrong!”

The crew all froze at that. The Sorceress was known, after all, as the mightiest spellcaster in all the Thousand Islands. Legend said she had even taken on and defeated an Ursa Major. A curse from her would no doubt be potent in the extreme. “Um…but you take the curse off when we get all the questions right, right?” Snips asked.

The Sorceress nodded. “Of course! You can also leave whenever you want – but I won’t remove the curse if you do, not until somepony's earned the Book Key. So…are you ready?”

The foals looked between each other. On the one hoof, the chance for untold riches and the treasure of Dread Cipactli. On the other, the chance for a terrible curse lain by the most powerful spellcaster in the Thousand Islands. At length, Bee Bop tapped her front hooves together. “Let’s do this!” she exclaimed, turning to the Sorceress. “Okay! Ask your riddles!”

She nodded, horn glowing again as a sheet of parchment materialized in front of her, and she took hold of it with one hoof even as a quill appeared in her telekinetic aura. She regarded each of the foals, nodded again, and looked to her parchment. “We’ll start with an easy one,” she said. “You can chase me forever, but you’ll never catch me. What am I?”

Pipsqueak smiled brightly at that one – he definitely knew the answer to this. “The horizon!” he exclaimed.

The Sorceress nodded, using her quill to draw a line through the riddle on her parchment. “I said it was easy,” she said. “Okay, then, a little harder…I’m not there, but you can’t see through me.”

“Darkness,” Rumble responded. “My brother told me that one.”

“Hmm,” the Sorceress said, marking the riddle off. “Maybe I’m going too easy on you…I’m very easy to get into, but not so easy to get out of.”

“Trouble!” Bee Bop exclaimed easily.

The Sorceress grinned as she marked that off as well. “If a white house is white and a yellow house is yellow, what color is a greenhouse?”

“Cl – ” Pipsqueak began.

“Green!” Applebloom exclaimed over him.

The Sorceress of the Atoll’s grin widened, and her horn started glowing. “Wrong!” she said. “A greenhouse isn’t green. Sure, the plants inside of it might be green, but the house itself? It’s made of glass, so it’s clear!”

“Oh,” Applebloom said meekly, as she was surrounded by a purple glow.
> 5. The Scheme of Diamond Tiara
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Isles of Storm were accurately named. They consisted of a pair of islands located practically right next to each other, each taking the form of a tall spire of rock that seemed to jut from the ocean’s surface like some kind of spear or tower. The smaller of the two was inhabited, home to a colony of pegasi that did their best to control or at least redirect the violent and dreaded hurricanes that could sometimes spring up in the Thousand Islands. The larger spire, however, was no mere rock, but the outer shell of a vaporcano, a thing that totally existed in real life and was just like a volcano, but instead of spewing out lava, it released a constant stream of water vapor into the sky. 

The result of the vaporcano was that the skies around the Isles of Storm were constantly cloudy. It often rained here. Even as Rosedust approached the twin islands, the seas grew choppy, and the crew saw that the vaporcano seemed to be active as clouds built up in the sky overhead. Pegasi flitted about amongst them, shaping it and redirecting it into broad, thick, pale gray clouds

“Wow,” Featherweight said as Rosedust drifted to a stop at the smaller island’s dock. “I’ve never actually watched the weather patrol get ready for the winter before.”

“Are those all full of snow?” Dinky wondered, dropping out of character for a moment. The Isles of Storm were, in fact, the weather patrol station and its cloud silo. Despite the comparatively small size of Ponyville, the patrol station was larger than those found in many other places in Equestria, Dinky knew, since the pegasus ponies inside not only had to make Ponyville’s weather and coordinate it with the rest of Equestria, but also deal with the unpredictable and uncontrollable weather of the Everfree Forest. The cloud silo, meanwhile, was the tallest building in Ponyville, a hollow metal structure that housed the weekly shipment of pegasus-magic-made water vapor from Cloudsdale. Pegasus ponies were flitting to and fro between the patrol station and the cloud silo, using the windows of the station far more often – in fact, almost exclusively – over the station’s front door.

“Yup!” Snails answered Dinky. “My sister and my dad were talking about it last night over dinner. They said that we’re gonna start with four inches of rimed snow and then another four inches of dendrites.”

“Huh?” Twist asked.

“Different kinds of snowflakes.”

“There’s different kinds of snowflakes?” Scootaloo asked.

Snails nodded in confirmation. “Dendrites, rimed snow, needles, and graupel. Graupel isn’t any good, though. Something about how it can cause avalanches or something.”

Dinky looked back to the weather patrol station, shifting a little. “They all look really busy,” she said. “Maybe we shouldn’t interrupt them.”

“But we need the key!” Featherweight objected. “And besides, Pinkie Pie wouldn’t have put this on the map unless there was a way for us to get it!”

The other four considered for a moment, before nodding as one and slipping back into character. The waters that surrounded the Isles of Storm were choppy, but that came as little surprise to the crew of the Rosedust as they hopped from their schooner and onto the pier of the smaller island, and made their way forward to the pegasus colony. They had no trouble entering the gates of the small town. It was built into a cliff side, with buildings that could only be reached if one had a pair of wings, or at least a portable ladder. Pegasi flitted about from building to building themselves easily enough, going about their daily business. The town seemed comparatively empty, however, probably due to most of the population being busy dealing with the vaporcano. What ponies were present didn’t seem to notice the collection of fillies and colts as they wandered in.

“Where to first?” Dinky asked as she looked around.

“Well,” Snails said, pointing, “if there’s anypony free who could help us, they’ll probably be in the break room.”

“Tavern,” Twist corrected.

“Oh, right. Yeah, the tavern.”

The tavern, called ‘The Dancing Hippogriff,’ was thankfully located at ground level in the pegasus colony, probably so as to make things easier for any earth ponies, unicorns, or other non-flying beings that might stop by. It looked like a more well-kept establishment than the ‘Admiral Bent Bow,’ the tavern they had all met up in back in Caballeria. On entering, the foals found that it was empty of ponies.

“Now what?” Scootaloo asked, looking around the tavern. There wasn’t even any sign of the tavern-keeper, though he had apparently left out the tea and coffee maker for anypony who wanted it. “Are we just supposed to wait here?”

Snails pointed at one of the tavern’s walls, which had a cuckoo clock hanging from it. “Not long!” he answered. “In about half an hour, everypony will be going on break. Well, everypony part of the winter set-up squad, anyway. Somepony will stop by here, and then we can ask them about the Storm Key!”

“Great!” Dinky answered, though she paused after a moment. “But…what are we supposed to do until then?”

The foals all looked around the tavern, each seeming to be at a loss, as it was fairly plain and nondescript, and didn’t even seem to have anything interesting like paper and crayons. At length, Featherweight pointed to the tavern’s bar. “We could have some tea,” he suggested.

---

“I wanted to have tea!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed as she bucked the treasure chest. Normally, she wasn’t one for physical exertion, and she was still just a filly – but she was still an earth pony, and a fairly annoyed one at the moment, too. The treasure chest was launched a few inches into the air and went skidding backwards a couple feet in the sand from the force of her blow. “But no, we have this stupid treasure chest that doesn’t even work!”

“It probably works fine if we have the key,” Firelock suggested, looking at the map that Sweetie Belle held open. “Or, um…huh. Looks like there’s three of them.”

“No, they’re labeled as keys 7, 8, and 9,” Sweetie said, the sea breeze whipping at her long coat. “So there’s probably nine of them. But there’s only one lock…”

“Maybe there’s a chest inside of this chest,” Alula theorized. “And maybe another chest inside that one. So we’ll have to get all three of our keys…plus the others from everypony else…”

Diamond Tiara turned quickly on the three of them. “Oh no. No, no, no. I agreed to come out on this stupid treasure hunt ‘cause we could skip right to the end and get the treasure. I do not want to actually have to hunt down these stupid keys just to get the stupid treasure! It’s probably just a bunch of chocolate coins or coupons to Sugarcube Corner or something, anyway!”

“That’d be a great treasure!” Firelock countered. “I love chocolate coins!”

Diamond Tiara’s glare hardened, at least until Silver Spoon spoke up. “I like Sugarcube Corner.” The pink filly turned on the silvery one, teeth grinding against one another. Silver Spoon held up a hoof. “We can have tea parties whenever we like. Once winter starts we could even have them a whole lot more since it’ll be so cold outside! But treasure hunts don’t happen all the time.”

Diamond Tiara was frozen still for a long moment, before letting out a very long, very frustrated sigh. “Fine,” she spat, turning to look at the treasure chest that they had unearthed. She considered it for a few seconds. “But…we’re gonna take this with us!”

“Huh?” Alula asked, wings spreading wide in surprise. “But…then how will everypony else have a shot at getting it?”

“They won’t. That’s the point,” Diamond Tiara said as she trotted over to the chest and grabbed one of its handles in her mouth, starting to pull it along the island and towards their jolly-boat, so that they could bring it back aboard the Diamond Tiara. “Ah ‘ont ‘et any’ony ‘ave mah trashah!”

“What?”

Diamond Tiara spat the handle out of her mouth and paused a moment before responding. “I won’t let anypony have our treasure! We found it first. Just ‘cause we can’t get it open, doesn’t mean a thing!”

“But we’ll need everypony else’s help,” Sweetie Belle reasoned. “Because there’s nine keys in total but we don’t even have one, and our map only shows us three anyway.”

“We’ll figure that part out later,” Diamond Tiara said. “But right now, if we have the treasure and nopony else does, then we don’t need to worry about anypony else getting to it and doing the same thing! It gives us a great bargaining chip, if only we know where the treasure is!”

“That’s not really fair, though,” Sweetie objected.

“Fair?” Silver Spoon asked, stepping over to Diamond Tiara. “They’re playing pirates. Pirates don’t play fair!” She tapped a hoof firmly on the ground. “Think about it, Dinky and her friends have Scootaloo driving them around town! No foal is faster. They’ve probably already got all their keys! That’s not fair to anypony else, is it? So we need an advantage. And this,” she waved a hoof at the treasure chest, “is our best shot at getting one!”

The other three foals looked between each other. “I guess,” Alula said after a moment, though she seemed unsure.

“Good! Now help me get this back to the ship.”

By ‘help,’ Diamond Tiara really meant that Firelock, Sweetie, and Alula had to lug it back with their telekinesis to the jolly-boat, and then back to the Diamond Tiara. The two figureheads watched with interest as they did. “Where did you get the box?” one asked.

“We dug it up,” Silver Spoon responded.

“You mean there really is a treasure?”

“Do not get me started!” Diamond Tiara said as she clambered up and into the ship, and the chest was pushed inside. So luxurious and well-designed was the Diamond Tiara that it didn’t seem to take up any space at all, mostly thanks to the chest being easily placed in the ship’s cargo hold. Once it was safely stored, Diamond Tiara turned to look at her crew, as Sweetie Belle revealed the map.

“Okay,” Diamond Tiara said, placing a hoof on where they were. “So there’s three keys we can get on this map? Easy. Me and Silver Spoon will get the one at the town hall. Alula, you and Firelock can go and get the one at the Punch Bowl. And Sweetie, you can go for the one at Sugarcube Corner. Then we’ll all meet up back here and decide what to do next.”

“Wait, I’m gonna be all by myself?” Sweetie asked, eyes widening.

“Only for a little bit,” Firelock assured her. “But there’s three keys, and five of us, so somepony’s gonna be the odd one out…”

“And that’s me?”

“Basically,” Silver Spoon said, looking at one hoof. She needed a hooficure at some point in the future, she realized - first mates on ships should always look their best. “Me and Diamond Tiara are best friends, and Firelock and Alula are best friends. If Scootaloo had just come to the tea party then you could have gone with her…”

Diamond Tiara looked up from the map, and saw Sweetie’s eyes somehow having grown even larger, and full of water, lower lip trembling. “B-but Sugarcube Corner is o-o-on the other side of Ponyville…” she said. “I’ll be by myself the whole time?”

Alula bit her lip. “Well, you could come with me and Firelock,” she offered.

“B-but then we won’t get the key fast enough!” Sweetie objected, hiccupping slightly. “I…I’m just a third wheel, a-aren’t I?”

Diamond Tiara felt some tugging on her heartstrings at the display. It wasn’t a common feeling, but nor was it totally alien to the filly. She grunted a little, waving a hoof at Sweetie. “Okay okay okay, calm down,” she said. “The town hall isn’t far from here, and neither is the Punch Bowl. So how about me and Silver Spoon walk to the town hall, and Alula and Firelock to the Punch Bowl, and then you can take the shi…the carriage?”

Sweetie considered a few moments, before nodding as she sniffled, wiping away the tears that, thankfully, hadn’t fallen. “S-sounds fair,” she said.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon disembarked into one of the Diamond Tiara’s jolly-boats, while Alula and Firelock took another. “And we’ll all meet back up at Sugarcube Corner. Okay?”

“Okay!” Sweetie said, suddenly looking much, much better as she waved down at the four foals, then withdrew the ladders that the four had climbed down to get into the jolly boats and commanded the figureheads at Diamond Tiara’s fore to take her to The Frosted Isle, as Sugarcube Corner was known on the map that they had.

Actually, now that Diamond Tiara thought about it, Sweetie looked so much better, that Diamond Tiara would never have been able to guess that she had been distraught in the first place. It suddenly occurred to Diamond Tiara that she was alone but for Silver Spoon, in the middle of the ocean in a jolly-boat, watching her ship sail away – 

No, wait, that was wrong. She was in the middle of Ponyville, on her own four hooves, and it wasn’t even her carriage, and it wasn't like Sweetie could actually steal it anyway, not as long as it had two ponies pulling it. Diamond Tiara grunted. “Okay, let’s get moving,” she said to Silver Spoon.

---

Applebloom was prancing in place in worry when she felt the magic recede, but her eyes were tightly closed. “Oh no oh no oh no, what’d she do?” she asked. “Am Ah a colt now? Did she take off mah fur? Am Ah some kind of naked bear? What happened?”

Applebloom heard light sniggering from the rest of the crew, but that just made her more anxious. “That’s it, isn’t it? She turned me into some kinda’ naked bear an’ Ah’ll have ta’ go live in the Everfree Forest and eat meat and wear dead animals to stay warm and only Miss Fluttershy will like me…”

“It’s nothing that bad,” the Sorceress of the Atoll said indignantly. Applebloom felt a hoof on her shoulder. “Besides, you still have hooves, so you can’t be a bear.”

“Oh,” Applebloom said, stopping her nervous prancing. “Right.”

“Just open your eyes!” Snips exclaimed.

Applebloom did, one at a time, then the other. She didn’t notice anything out-of-place at first – until she saw her muzzle, anyway. Normally it was something she didn’t even pay attention to, what with it having been right there in front of her eyes her whole life. It had changed, though – where before it had been straw yellow in color, it was now a bright red. “Oh,” Applebloom repeated, looking at her hoof. Her coat had changed, to basically match the color of her mane and tail. Glancing back at her dock, she saw that her tail had now become the same color that her coat had once been – straw yellow.

“That’s not so bad,” Applebloom admitted. All that had happened was a reverse of her mane and coat colors, it seemed.

The Sorceress of the Atoll – in fact, Twilight Sparkle – waved a hoof in the air. “You five didn’t really think I was gonna do something terrible, did you?” she asked.

“Ah guess not,” Applebloom admitted, looking up at Twilight. “Pipsqueak just got me all nervous with imaginin’ this place an’ that you really were some kinda’ evil sorceress or somethin’.”

Pipsqueak blinked a few times, before crossing his hooves indignantly. “We’re supposed to be playing pirates,” he said. “And there’s supposed to be a terrible curse on you.”

The other three foals of the crew looked to him, then back to Applebloom. “What could be terrible about her coat changing color?” Rumble asked, scratching one front hoof against the opposite leg.

“It doesn’t matter that much!” Bee Bop objected. “Since it’ll go away once we answer two more riddles!”

Twilight – the Sorceress of the Atoll – nodded, holding her sheet of paper back up. “Okay. There are some other curses I might put on you foals, though. But I promise they’re all completely safe.”

“That’s no fun,” Pipsqueak sighed.

The other four foals rolled their eyes as the Sorceress scanned her list of riddles. “What’s harder to catch the faster you run?”

The foals all thought a moment, looking between each other as they gathered around in a rough circle. “I think I know this one,” Rumble said. “It’s ‘your breath.’”

“Huh?” Snips asked. “Oh, right, right, I get it! ‘Cause you’re out of breath if you run too long.”

“You sure?” Pipsqueak asked.

“Positive,” Rumble said.

“Okay, then!” Snips said, turning around and looking at the Sorceress of the Atoll. “It’s…chocolate milk!”

“What?” the Sorceress, and Snips’ crewmates, asked at the same time.

“Snips, that’s not the answer!” Bee Bop exclaimed.

“Yeah, but I want to see what the next curse is,” Snips said with a laugh.

The Sorceress blinked a few times, before shrugging. “Okay…” she said, horn glowing and magic wrapping around Snips. With a flash, her spell went off, and Snips found himself in possession of a long mustache and beard, curling from his muzzle down along his jawbone and with hair the same color as his mane.”

“Aw, neat!” Snips said when he noticed it, rubbing a hoof through it. “My dad said it’d be years before I could grow a mustache. But this looks awesome!” he turned around, brushing his mustache and waggling his eyebrows at Rumble, Pipsqueak, Applebloom, and Bee Bop. “How do I look?”

“We’re not really here for – ” Rumble began. 

“Really cool!” Bee Bop interrupted, hopping forward and inspecting it closely with no sense for personal space. The smaller colt blushed slightly at the filly examining him closely, though he didn’t have much of a chance to before Bee Bop turned to the Sorceress. “The answer to the next riddle is, um, cuttlefish!”

“I haven’t even asked it yet…” the Sorceress observed, wincing a little at the volume of Bee Bop’s exclamation.

“So? It’s probably the wrong answer, right?”

Twilight rolled her eyes, horn glowing and sending a beam of magic into Bee Bop. A moment later, Bee Bop was turning in place and looking herself over eagerly, fluttering her wings, flicking her tail, scratching at her face. Nothing seemed to have changed, however. “Aw, I think you – ” she began, but stopped almost immediately, hooves to her mouth when she heard her voice. It had dropped down very low, becoming a deep drawl rather than her normal high-pitched and loud squeak.

“This. Is. AWESOME!” she exclaimed. “I have a bass voice now! Swing low, sweet chariot…”

“What’s the next riddle?” Rumble asked with a sigh. The deep voice at least made Bee Bop’s voice not hurt the ears as much.

“What tastes better than it smells?”

“A tongue – ” Rumble answered.

“Pears!” Applebloom answered at the same time.

Rumble and Pipsqueak both turned to look at the earth pony filly. “Come on, Applebloom!” Pipsqueak cried out.

Applebloom smiled guiltily. “Ah just wanted to know what was gonna happen next…” she said sheepishly.

Twilight considered. “Well, Rumble, you did get the right answer,” Twilight said, then looked to Applebloom. “But if you really want another curse on you…” She shot a bolt of magic at Applebloom.

Applebloom looked herself over, but, as with Bee Bop, noticed no physical change – besides the one she’d already been subject too, anyway. “Podozhdite, chto izmenilos’?” she asked, then paused. “Chto ya govoryu?”

“Huh?” Pipsqueak asked.

“Ya ne govoryu Konnyy sport bol’she!”

Twilight’s horn glowed again, as some magic appeared at her throat. “Vy govorite Zapad Grifon. Ne volnuytes’, eto budet stirat’sya kak i vse ostal’noye.”

Applebloom paused. “Slavnyy!”

The magic disappeared from Twilight’s throat, as she looked back to Pipsqueak and Rumble as Snips admired his moustache, Bee Bop put her new deep voice to use, and Applebloom talked to herself. “She’s speaking East Griffin now…I think. I’m still working on an Equestrian-to-Griffin spell.” She looked back to her list. “Anyway, just one more to go. Better make it a hard one…ah, here we go.” She smiled. “What two things can you never eat for breakfast?”

Pipsqueak and Rumble looked between each other, ignoring the actions of the rest of the crew. “Zucchini?” Rumble asked.

“I’ve had it,” Pipsqueak said. “Hmm…potato? Who wants potato for breakfast?”

“Home fries,” Rumble countered.

“Oh, right…” Pipsqueak looked at the Sorceress of the Atoll, sitting amongst her books with her magic flowing around her, eager to use it once more and lay another terrible curse upon the hapless crew of the Hispaniola – to his eyes, anyway. Probably a curse of madness given the way his crew was acting. “Never have for breakfast?” he asked.

The Sorceress grinned widely. “Never, ever, ever,” she responded.

The two pirates looked down in deep thought. What kind of food, Pipsqueak wondered, did you never, ever, ever eat for breakfast? He was coming up with a blank. Lettuce, tomatoes, eggs, peppers…everything could be eaten at any part of the day, even breakfast, couldn’t it? And thinking about drinks wasn’t helping, as he couldn’t think of anything that you couldn’t drink for breakfast…but there had to be some food…

“Oh! Got it!” Rumble announced, looking at the Sorceress of the Atoll. “Lunch and dinner!”

Pipsqueak blinked. “Huh?” he asked.

Rumble look at him. “Can you eat lunch for breakfast?”

“Sure!” Pipsqueak answered. “I mean, I wouldn’t want a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, but I could eat it!”

Rumble shook his head. “No, I mean – can you eat lunch at breakfast?”

Pipsqueak’s head tilted to the side. “…yes?”

Rumble stared at him a moment, then shook his head and looked back to the Sorceress of the Atoll. “Lunch and dinner,” he repeated.

The Sorceress’s grin got even bigger, as she lifted into the air with power, eyes and horn both glowing with bright light as the books of her library soared through the air. Pipsqueak trembled a little at the display, certain that his first mate was about to be cursed into insanity, just as the rest of the crew had been. And then what? Only he would remain to stand against the Sorceress’ onslaught, and he wasn’t good with hard riddles, being the youngest foal on his crew and all. He’d be cursed too, forced to spend the rest of his days as a mad slave of the Atoll, never to get his hooves on the treasure and – 

“Correct!” The Sorceress exclaimed.

“Huh?” Pipsqueak asked, as Applebloom, Bee Bop, and Snips each had their curses disappear from them – much to their own disappointment, from the looks of things.

The Sorceress of the Atoll set herself down on the floor again, the books putting themselves away save for one, which she held out to Rumble. The colt took it quickly, opening it up and paging through it. “…huh?” he asked after a moment. “Its blank!”

The rest of the crew came forward, looking over the book. Indeed, its pages, though seeming weather-worn, were all completely empty of any words or pictures as far as the foals could tell. Rumble looked to the Sorceress. “Are you sure this is the right one? Why’s it blank?”

The Sorceress of the Atoll merely tapped a hoof to the side of her muzzle. “It’s a secret,” she said. “It’ll make sense once you have all the keys and a full crew.”

Pipsqueak’s head turned to the side. “A full crew? But I already have a full crew!” he looked around at his shipmates. “Is this another riddle? ‘Cause I still don’t get your last one.”

The Sorceress only repeated her motion of tapping a hoof to her muzzle. “Can’t say any more than I already have,” she said, before setting her horn aglow and closing her eyes. “But you better get moving. You have more keys than either of the other crews…but, from the looks of things, one of the crews isn’t playing fair anymore.”
> 6. The Challenge of the Cavern of Ice
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door to the tavern opened, and the five renegade Equestrians therein found themselves looking at a flock of pegasi looking to squeeze their way into the ‘Dancing Hippogriff’ and get some well-earned rest and relaxation after a hard day of tending to the vaporcano. “I can’t believe they want to start winter off that cold…” one mumbled.

“Especially given how cold the last one was…”

“Cloudsdale knows what it’s doing, guys – uh. Hmm.”

The pegasi stopped just inside the tavern’s door, looking sidelong at the Equestrian renegades in surprise at seeing them all there. Captain Dinky carefully set aside her tea. “Ahoy!” she called, as she, Scootaloo, Featherweight, Snails, and Twist all stood. “We five are the crew of the good ship Rosedust, and we’re here for one of the keys for the legendary lost treasure of Dread Cipactli! But you were busy so we came to this tavern and had some tea first.”

The pegasi that had piled into the tavern – there were half a dozen, the rest of the crew having decided to go home – looked confused for a moment, before one of them perked up. “Oh, that thing Pinkie Pie was here for all last week,” he said. He was the leader of this group of pegasi, with a slate-gray coat and silver-blue mane and tail. Dinky knew of him – Thunderlane, he was called, one of the deputy managers that tended the vaporcano. He looked between them. “Where’s Rumble?” he asked.

Scootaloo screwed up her face at that. “He’s part of a rival pirate crew,” she said. “With Captain Pipsqueak and the dread pirates of the Hispaniola.”

Thunderlane grinned. “That sounds like Rumble,” he noted, trotting in so that the rest of the pegasi could come in as well. He looked them over. “Well, I’ve got good news, and bad news,” he said. “The good news is that we’re all set-up and you can try and get that Storm Key whenever you like. The bad news is that only the pegasi in your group can go after it.”

Featherweight and Scootaloo looked between each other, as the rest of the crew looked at that. “Why?” Featherweight asked after a moment.

Thunderlane smiled, and gestured for them to follow them from the tavern. The crew of Rosedust did, and found themselves being led across the pegasus aerie, through its twists and turns and even through a long tunnel that almost certainly extended beneath the water that separated the twin Isles of Storm. At length, the pirate ponies and their pegasus guide found themselves standing before a door that, were this the far-distant town of Ponyville, would have been set into the base of the cloud silo.

“We don’t have vapor in the cloud silo right now, since winter is coming up,” Thunderlane said. “Instead, we’ve got…”

He opened the door, and the five pirates gasped. Inside was a vast chamber, the frozen heart of the vaporcano. Its insides were slick with rime, coating the walls and extending down as far up as the ponies could see.

“Oh!” Twist exclaimed, as she stuck her head in a little and looked down. “So that’th how all the cloudth fit in! I alwayth – always – thought the silo looked a little th – small for all of Ponyville…”

Snails smiled broadly. “Of course!” he said. “My dad and my sister have taken me down sometimes.”

Indeed, while the crater of the vaporcano – the inside of the cloud silo, whatever – was fairly broad and stretched up high into the sky, opening the doors revealed that structure extended beneath the surface as well, into a large cavern. Inside the ponies could hear the moan of winds and a constant shimmering, as glow-gems set into the ceiling reflected off the snow, ice, and clouds in the cavern beneath – hundreds of clouds, maybe even more than that, the great majority of them white with a faint blue tinge with small pieces of ice sticking out of them. An underground river flowed through the cavern’s center, its surface covered with ice several inches thick but flowing water apparent just beneath it.

“Okay,” Thunderlane said, looking back to the foals. “So that’s why you’ll need pegasi to do this,” he indicated the chamber. “I can take the rest of you down to the ground, if you want, so you can watch and maybe help by telling Featherweight and Scootaloo where to go, but the key’s a place where only a pegasus could reach it. And even with a cloudwalking spell it probably wouldn’t be safe for an earth pony or unicorn due to all the ice.”

“Pegasi can grab hold of ice really well thanks to our magic,” Featherweight explained for the benefit of Twist – Dinky and Snails both knowing this already thanks to their parents being pegasi.

Thunderlane, meanwhile, had reached just inside the chamber, and produced two hard hats, putting them on top of Featherweight and Scootaloo. Dinky couldn’t really think of a way for hard hats to make sense when playing pirates, but at the same time understood that safety came first. “Don’t take these off,” Thunderlane said, his tone serious. “We’ve never had an accident down there, but that’s no reason to get sloppy.”

The two pegasus foals nodded, and Thunderlane smiled, stepping into the chamber – the vaporcano’s caldera – and spreading his wings, hovering in place in the updraft for a few moments more. “There are clouds everywhere, so you two won’t have to worry about falling. I’ll be nearby just in case. In the meantime, let’s get the rest of you down.”

Thunderlane took Snails and Twist down first, scooping each up under his forelegs and gliding down into the cavern, descending in a long, lazy circle and setting the two foals down on a broad and flat section of the vaporcano's floor, well away from the underground stream that in the foal’s minds was the source of the vaporcano’s constant stream of clouds. Dinky went down next, eyes wide as she took in the sight of the ice and even a little bit of snowfall from some of the more compressed-together clouds.

Once they were down, Thunderlane looked back up to Featherweight and Scootaloo, and waved a hoof. The two looked to each other, and Featherweight swallowed. “I…can’t really fly yet,” he noted. “I can sort of glide…”

Scootaloo shrugged, small wings buzzing and providing only a little lift to assure him that she wasn't any better off. “There are clouds everywhere, though,” she noted, leaning back a little and tensing, then leaping into the vaporcano without hesitation and with a cry of delight. The updraft within the caldera caught her for a moment, pushing her up a little before gravity took over and pulled her down. She fell only a few feet before landing on the nearest cloud, which gave a little bit underneath her but didn’t break. The young filly grinned brightly, looking up at Featherweight and beckoning him down. “Come on! It’s fine!”

Featherweight steeled himself a moment, spread his wings, and leaped down after Scootaloo, landing next to her after catching an updraft of his own. With all the ice contained in the cloud it felt a little like ice covered in sand or small bits of gravel. Scootaloo was grinning as she tapped at the cloud beneath her front hooves, occasionally letting her hooves slide into the cloud and come back out slick with soft rime. “I never get to cloud walk!” she exclaimed, standing and trotting in place a little, then letting out a huge grin, jumping off of the air, an letting herself fall straight through the cloud beneath her.

“H-hey!” Featherweight exclaimed, quickly digging down through the cloud and sticking his head through the other side. Scootaloo had fallen only a few feet onto another cloud directly beneath the one they were on. “That’s not safe! You should always check to see if there’s a cloud under you if you’re gonna do that!”

Scootaloo affixed Featherweight with a look of mild annoyance, but sighed. “You’re right…” she admitted, glancing around. The clouds were relatively thickly packed around the edges of the cavern, but comparatively sparse near the center where the caldera of the vaporcano was located. All in all, the cavern was probably a thousand feet from end to end, and about three or four hundred feet tall, every surface of it coated in ice of varying degrees of thickness, even patches of the underground river coated over in natural ice bridges. The two pegasus foals looked between one another. “Where do you think the key is?” Scootaloo asked.

Featherweight shook his head as he leaped from his cloud down to another, slightly below Scootaloo’s. “I wish we knew what it looked like…” he moaned, glancing around. “What was Pinkie’s clue again?”

“Look up,” Scootaloo provided, doing just that. The two of them only saw the frost-coated ceiling of the cavern from where they were, and not a whole lot of it since they were still relatively near the ceiling still. “There’s a lot of ceiling to search.” She bunched up a little and then leaped to another nearby cloud. “Especially if we have to keep going like this, hopping from one cloud to another…”

“We could try moving the cloud,” Featherweight noted, as he dug his front hooves into the cloud underneath him and began beating his wings as hard as he could. The cloud began to move, slowly but surely. He grinned widely for a few moments, but as he gained speed he began to feel that something was wrong beneath his hooves, and slowed to a stop. “Huh?” he asked, not sure what he had felt.

Scootaloo had copied the action, and smiled widely as her cloud began to move as well. “Awesome!” she exclaimed as her cloud began to pick up speed under her. “It’s just like with a scooter, except…” she banked her cloud, left and down, towards the cavern floor, and began picking up more speed. “Except I’m flying!”

“Wait, hold on – ” Featherweight began, somehow knowing what was going to happen just before it did. The cloud beneath Scootaloo began to tremble at its front, and then break apart, small bits of cloudstuff tearing off of it and collapsing into water droplets or snowflakes. Scootaloo noticed and slowed her cloud quickly, but by then whatever damage had been done to it was too much, and the thing began breaking apart beneath her.

True to his promise, Thunderlane was already beneath Scootaloo when her cloud gave out, and she fell only a few inches onto his back. “Oof!” She exclaimed as she landed, then looked to Thunderlane. “What happened?”

Thunderlane flew up a bit, landing on another nearby cloud and settling down there so that Scootaloo could climb off of him. “Clouds aren’t really all that stable,” he explained. “Your magic isn’t really strong enough yet to hold one together if you move it too fast. You’ll have to move any clouds you want to slowly.”

“Aww…” Scootaloo moaned, stamping a little at the cloud under her. “But I was flying…”

Thunderlane shrugged, as he hopped off of the cloud and hovered in place. “You have to take things easy for now. I bet you weren’t really all that fast on your scooter at first, right?”

Scootaloo thought a moment, before nodding. “I guess,” she conceded.

Featherweight, meanwhile, had taken Thunderlane’s advice, hopping down to a lower cloud at first and looking around at the ceiling above, wings beating in slow sweeps to provide only a little thrust. “Anypony see a key?” He called down to the foals below.

Dinky, Snails, and Twist had been doing little else but looking up and around since arriving, both to search for the Storm Key and taking in the sight of the icy cavern. “No…” Snails moaned. “This is way harder than finding the Crystal Key…”

“It’s gotta be around here somewhere, though,” Dinky said, even as she pulled her cloak tighter around her against the chill of the cavern. She knew she shouldn’t stay down here too long, it was too cold, but on the other hoof she really wanted to find that key and get the treasure of Dread Cipactli.

Twist, meanwhile, frowned. “I bet that…” she reasoned, trotting forwards and towards the center of the cavern. She squinted, adjusting her glasses as she looked straight up. “Up there!” she called after a moment, spotting something glinting yellow, standing out against the blue and white of the rest of the cavern. “Frothen to the top!”

Featherweight and Scootaloo both navigated over, leaping from cloud to cloud and pushing a few clouds as they went to move back to, essentially, where they had started, Thunderlane following nearby. Indeed, suspended in mid-air at nearly the top of the vaporcano's caldera – or to the roof of the cloud silo, whatever – was something round and yellow.

“That’s got to be it,” Scootaloo decided as she joined Featherweight on one cloud. “This’ll be easy! All we’ll have to do is move a cloud up there…” she dug her hooves into the cloud and set her wings buzzing, Featherweight joining in. Together, the two of them moved the cloud slowly but surely up and towards the hole in the ceiling that lead up to the cloud silo. Maneuvering the cloud straight up was a little trickier, but Scootaloo figured out a method by digging herself into the cloud and then sticking out from the bottom, wings pointed down towards the cavern floor. Once it was close enough to the ceiling’s hole, the cloud began to pick up speed, shooting up the caldera as it was caught in the updraft there – but it promptly broke apart when it was no more than halfway up, the irregular current and speed of the updraft causing it to collapse

The two foals managed to get their wings out and slow their descent enough for Thunderlane to easily catch them. “Oh, come on!” Scootaloo moaned, glaring up at the key even as Thunderlane deposited them on a nearby cloud. “How are we supposed to get to the key if the cloud’s gonna break apart when we try to get up there?”

Featherweight sat back on his haunches, one hoof to his mouth as he thought. Neither foal bothered asking Thunderlane for help; it was doubtless that Pinkie had made him Pinkie Promise not to help them beyond keeping them safe from falls. “Hey, how much do you weigh?” he asked.

Scootaloo looked at Featherweight, one eyebrow raised. “I dunno,” she admitted after a moment. “Why?”

“Just got an idea,” Featherweight said, looking around for a few moments. He hopped to a nearby small cloud, just big enough for him, and then began moving it back towards the caldera. Just as it was about to be sucked up into the updraft, and take him with it, he let go of the cloud and left it to drift forward under the momentum he had given it, while landing himself on another cloud. As the two foals watch, the cloud was dragged into the updraft and carried up the caldera – all the way to the top, until it hit the ceiling and burst apart into snowflakes that quickly got caught on the roof and froze in place.

“Ha!” Featherweight exclaimed. “See? A cloud can make it to the top, but not if it has us two on it. We’re too heavy. Bet we’re too heavy if it’s just one at a time, too…”

“But…if we’re too heavy one at a time,” Scootaloo said, “and too heavy if there’s two of us, how are we supposed to get up there?”

“Ooh!” Snails exclaimed, from below. The two pegasus foals glanced down at their friends. “I know! Get a bunch of clouds together, and send them all up, with one of you going up the silo and the other sending more clouds up. Then whoever’s in the caldera can jump from one cloud to another as they go up!”

“Thith dothn’t theem – gah! – this doesn’t seem safe,” Twist noted uncomfortably, shifting from one hoof to the next.

Scootaloo waved the comment off. “Not anymore than climbing a tree! Right, Thunderlane?”

Thunderlane nodded. “Actually back in Cloudsdale this is how a lot of foals learn to fly. I’m here, and there’s plenty of clouds to land on; I’ll make sure of it.” He shifted a little from where he sat. “Just…try not to use up to many clouds. We have a surplus we have to go through since we got that Everfree rain two weeks ago, but not a huge surplus.”

The two pegasus foals nodded, then set to work wrangling some clouds. It wasn’t easy, what with needing to move slowly lest they disrupt the clouds they were moving. Still, in a short while they had managed to gather up a decent collection, positioned near the caldera’s entrance. Scootaloo eyed them, then looked to Featherweight, mentally comparing his thin frame to her own somewhat more robust one. “You’re lighter,” she decided, “so you’ll probably be able to get higher before your cloud burst apart. I’ll send clouds up when you need them, you get the key.”

Featherweight swallowed at that, but then nodded. “Okay,” he said, digging into the cloud beneath him and beating his wings, Scootaloo following nearby with a cloud of her own. Before he knew it, he was under the hole of the caldera, its updraft pulling him and his cloud upwards. Featherweight steeled himself as he felt the cloud beneath him trembling against the weight of the pony on it pressing down, and the push of the updraft pulling it up. At the last possible moment before it burst apart, he leaped off of the cloud, wings fluttering a little and gaining him a few more feet before he began falling down – onto another cloud already rising that Scootaloo had readied for him.

“Ha!” Featherweight exclaimed, smiling brightly as he ascended past where the previous cloud had been destroyed, now nothing more than a swirling collection of snowflakes caught in the updraft. The cloud beneath him was already trembling, but he was ready, leaping from it and onto another. Each time he let the updraft catch his wings and lift his light frame up, gaining a few extra feet with each cloud as a result. By the time he leaped onto his third cloud, he was close enough to the Storm Key to see it: a round, clear ball, looking almost as though it was made of ice, and inside was something that was shaped like a yellow lightning bolt. The ball was about half as big as Featherweight’s head, and suspended in the air by long, thin strands of ice that connected like a spider's web to the caldera's rim.

Two more clouds later, and Featherweight was close enough to the key that he could try and dislodge it. He positioned himself directly beneath it as his cloud ascended, then leaped up and bucked at it with his front hoof. The ice that held it in place wasn’t thick, and it came loose and fell into his waiting hooves easily as he fell back down and onto the cloud.

“Yes!” Featherweight exclaimed as he landed back on another ascending cloud. He made sure he had a good grip on the still ice-covered ball – though beneath the ball it felt like plastic – and then let himself fall through the ascending cloud, spreading his wings against the updraft to slow his descent through the shaft. Gravity did most of the work for him, and within just a few moments he was back down in the cavern, away from the updraft of the vaporcano's caldera. He let out a whoop of glee as he glided down towards the cavern floor and the rest of his friends, Scootaloo following his descent by hopping from cloud to cloud, wings buzzing to slow her own fall for the last twenty or so feet.

“Got it!” Featherweight exclaimed as his friends joined him. He looked at Scootaloo. “We got it!”

“Yup!” Scootaloo confirmed. “Teamwork! Just like the Wonderbolts, or the Night Guard.”

“Or a good pirate crew!” Snails added, leaning forward and poking the key. “What is it? It doesn’t look like a key…”

“It’s a magic key,” Dinky said, nodding her head with certainty. “It’s…lightning trapped in a ball of ice! Magic ice. So it won’t melt.”

“Cool!” Twist exclaimed, taking the Storm Key as it was offered to her and looking it over before passing it along. “And, wow, Pinkie – uh, Ethpada Noche – really went to a lot of work to hide hith treathure’th keyth…”

Scootaloo, who’d been handed the key next, turned it over in her hooves. “Nevermind the treasure, I wanna know what the locks look like…”

The other four foals nodded, while Featherweight was hoofed the treasure map by Captain Dinky. “Where to next, Doctor and Navigator Featherweight?”

Featherweight spread the map out before him, looking it over. “Quills and Sofas,” he said, then considered. “The, um…Fortress Island?”

“Fortress Island it is,” Dinky said with a nod, confirming the foal's name for it in their little legend.

“And the key there is called the Feather Key. The hint is…all you have to do is make it to the other side.”

“Huh,” Snails said. “That sounds easy!”

“Right!” Dinky said, then turned around. Thunderlane had joined them on the floor of the cavern. “Okay, Mr. Thunderlane. Could you please escort us out of this here vaporcano, so that we can get back to the Rosedust and back to our treasure hunt?”

Thunderland smiled, and gave a great flourish of a bow. “Of course,” he said, then pointed off to one side. “Stairs are over there, they lead back up to the weather patrol station.”

The five pirates turned to look in the direction he pointed, and in fact saw a door that was clearly marked ‘exit.’ Dinky considered a moment. “More fun to fly in?” she asked, guessing why they hadn’t just gone this way in the first place.

“More fun,” Thunderlane confirmed, as the small herd of ponies began walking over to the door.

---

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away and across the vast expanse of the Southern Sea, the RES Diamond Tiara cruised steadily through the day, its magic figureheads doing all the navigating and leaving the only crewmember aboard the ship, the scholar-adventurer Sweetie Belle, with nothing to do but relax as the ship made the trek from one end of the Thousand Islands to the other. It had maybe been a little mean of her to trick her captain and other crewmates into getting off the boat and into dinghies to traverse the Sea, but then again they were in pairs and weren’t going all the way across the Sea by themselves.

Also the RES Diamond Tiara was really, really comfortable, and the figureheads were surprisingly good conversationalists for animated wood.

“…and so that’s how we got covered in tree sap for the third time,” she finished.

The two figureheads chuckled a little. “So are you going to be trying for number four, or…?”

Sweetie giggled a little. “Oh, it’s already happened way more than that,” she said. “All of Scootaloo’s ideas for getting our cutie marks pretty much always end up with us covered in tree sap.” She shrugged as she hung out over the edge of the deck’s railing, watching the waves pass beneath her. “I think that she should just try something else that isn’t so messy. She’s really good at dancing. I bet that’s her special talent, she just hasn’t realized it yet – oh, Tootsie Flute! Truffle Shuffle! Hi!”

Sweetie waved at an approaching ship she hadn’t noticed, a small private yacht that flew Equestrian colors but obviously wasn’t quite as fine as the Diamond Tiara, though it was nice in its own way. Aboard she could see two faces she recognized, Tootsie Flute and Truffle Shuffle, who were officially special someponies with each other now, much to the former’s delight.

The two stopped and stared at Sweetie. “Where’d you get that carriage?” Truffle asked in amazement.

Sweetie chuckled again as her ship came to a stop alongside Tootise’s and Truffle’s yacht. “It’s not a carriage, it’s a ship,” she said, “and we’re hunting treasure! Me and Diamond Tiara and Alula and Silver Spoon and Firelock. We have a map, and we split up to get the keys on our map faster than Dinky or Pipsqueak and their crews will get theirs. Mine is at Sugarcube Corner!”

Tootsie and Truffle looked between each other. “We’re going there now,” Tootsie said. “So this is a treasure hunt game?”

Sweetie nodded, then brightened. “Oh! Except…” she opened up the door to the carriage – she couldn’t think of a nautical equivalent for the action – and revealed the treasure chest inside. “We already have the treasure! We just need to get it open.” She thought a moment. “It was all set up by Pinkie Pie, so the treasure is probably just chocolate coins or coupons for Sugarcube Corner. But that’s still a great treasure!”

Tootsie and Truffle’s eyes lit up at the sight of the chest, especially once Sweetie demonstrated how heavy it was. “Say…” Tootsie said. “Can we play?”

Sweetie considered. “I dunno…” she said. “’Cause, right now, it’s five against five against five. I don’t know if it’s fair if we get seven ponies on our crew.”

“Well, you already have seven, don’t you?” Truffle reasoned, pointing to the wooden figureheads of the Diamond Tiara.

“They don’t count,” Sweetie said, then paused a moment. “No offense.”

“None taken,” one of the figureheads assured her.

“And you’ve already split up into three,” Tootsie pointed out. “That’s not really fair either, is it? And besides, we’re going to Sugarcube Corner anyway, like I said.”

Sweetie considered a moment more, before shrugging. “Sure!” she decided. The two abandoned their yacht, and came aboard the Diamond Tiara, which got underway again. She looked at the two. “But I’m gonna be the acting-captain, then, of the cruise.”

Both of the other two ponies saluted smartly at that. “Aye aye, Captain Sweetie Belle!”

Sweetie smiled brightly as Sea began flowing by beneath Diamond Tiara’s keel again. Hmm…she thought. Captain Sweetie Belle…I like the sound of that!
> 7. Treachery on the High Seas
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Hispaniola cut through the roughening seas of the Thousand Islands with little effort, the large ship-of-the-line scarcely noticing the cresting waves that seemed almost to part before her rather than challenge her progress. Captain Pipsqueak used his spy-glass to gaze out across the Thousand Islands, trying to set his sights on their next goal. Yet his mind was elsewhere.

A full crew? What had the Sorceress of the Atoll meant by that? He had Rumble, Snips, Bee Bop and Applebloom, all able-bodied ponies fully capable of crewing the Hispaniola, large ship though she may be. What more did he need? Sure, additional hooves to swab the deck or help carry out raids would always be useful, but he still had a full crew. And what had the Sorceress meant, that the other two crews were no longer playing fair…?

One of those crew members, Snips, came up to Pipsqueak. “Um…by the way…” he said. “About what happened, back at the library…sorry.” Snips was shuffling his sailor’s bandana around in his hooves. “It’s just that Twilight’s spells were fun!”

“Yeah!” Bee Bop called. “And we got the key after all, right?” She held up the blank book. “I mean…we don’t know how we’re supposed to use it yet…but we got it!”

Pipsqueak removed the spy-glass from his eye, turning to face his crew. “The Sorceress of the Atoll,” he said, “cursed ye to act like fools. But because of that, we’ve lost valuable time! We don’t know how far Rosedust’s crew be in their own quest, and there be Diamond Tiara and her do-gooders to consider as well! We need to get our third key, then try and figure out how to get the keys from those other sea-dogs!”

“We can’t steal them,” Rumble said.

Pipsqueak whirled on Rumble, cutlass in mouth. “Be ye questionin’ my authority again, first mate? ‘Twas I what found the Apple Key!”

Rumble’s eyes narrowed, as he raised a hoof and pushed Pipsqueak’s blade away. “But I figured out almost all the riddles at the library, and you didn’t figure out any. But no, that’s not what I mean. I mean if we can’t steal each others’ maps then we can’t steal each others’ keys. It wouldn’t be fair.”

Pipsqueak’s face scrunched up as he considered that. The smell of salt air left his nostrils, the sound of waves and gulls was replaced by the sounds of a landlocked town far from open water, and the rocking of the ship became the rocking of a cart. “I mean…okay, yeah,” he said, looking away and sighing. He’d really felt for a moment like he was back on the ocean. “But then how else are we supposed to get all the keys we need first? If each team just gets three keys then it’s a stalemate and there’s no winners. So we have to find a way to get their keys. It’s not like we can just ask…” 

He trailed off a moment at that, and the memory of the Sorceress telling them all that the other crews weren’t playing fair anymore. Not playing fair? Well, no one could fight dirtier than a pirate – and Pipsqueak was the King of the Pirates. He brightened, grinning wickedly. The sea swelled and an albatross crowed and the wind whipped at the black flag overhead. “Or maybe we can ask ‘em…” 

He started chuckling, then quickly transitioned into a full-on laugh of a pirate king with a brilliant scheme. His crewmates joined in, and after a moment, so did the figurehead at the fore of his ship. “Wait, I don’t get it,” Rumble said after a moment, stopping laughing. The others’ laughter died down as well when they realized they didn’t know what was going on.

And that’s why I’m the captain, Pipsqueak thought, and laughed harder and rubbed his hooves together. Because I know how to be a proper pirate.





Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara’s jolly-boat pulled up to the dock of the small island with little issue. The local tender waved them by without seeking payment for their boat being tied up, for he could see their uniforms and their sense of purpose. To Silver Spoon’s mind, if not Diamond Tiara’s, the island was a fledgling outpost of Equestrian naval power. Equestria didn’t have much of a naval tradition – usually depending upon Cavallia to act on her behalf when the need arose – but in recent decades the upswing of pirate activity in Caballeria and the expansion of Zaldian trading posts had spurred Equestria into changing that. This island had been an ignored flyspeck in the Thousand Islands, but a few years of work had given it a harbor deep enough to moor galleons, and a fortress bristling with guns from which the harbor could be defended.

Silver Spoon suppressed a giggle to herself. Diamond Tiara would be so mad if she knew that she was getting into the game. It wasn’t her fault, though, that her daddy had just made her read a book on the expanding Equestrian oceanic trade. Silver Spoon didn’t care at all for pirates, and considered the navies and merchant marines of rival nations only barely a step above them. But she did like looking at maps and seeing distant lands shaded with Equestria’s traditional color of navy blue. She did like the idea of fortresses and trading posts protecting the shipping lanes so that valuable goods could be brought back to Equestria. Projecting power, her daddy had called it. Silver Spoon liked the sound of the term.

Plus, Silver Spoon was pretty sure she’d look good in an officer’s uniform. Especially an admiral’s one.

The two made their way from the dock and up to the fortress, the great gate and doors opening to admit them. Once inside, Diamond Tiara marched right up to the officer on duty and looked him square in the eye. “My daddy,” she said, “is the biggest landowner in town and a member of the town council. So if there’s a key for this stupid treasure hunt here, give it to me!”

Silver Spoon resisted the urge to sigh at the break in character. The officer on duty, meanwhile, simply opened a door behind him and leaned in. “Your open appointment is here, Lady Mayor.”

“Send them in,” a voice beyond the door called. The two fillies walked into the office of the Lady Mayor of the island, the officer on duty not closing it behind them but instead leaving it open. Silver Spoon saw a map on the wall showing the western Thousand Islands, a globe of the world underneath it, a bookcase full of books on law and trade and military matters. Behind the Lady Mayor’s desk was a large window that looked down at the docks and out to sea. And in actuality that was pretty close to what was actually there, save that the map was instead Ponyville and her environs, and the window looked out at the town.

The Lady Mayor of the Island was a beige-colored earth pony with silver hair – though Silver Spoon’s eyes spotted some pink at the roots – wearing the uniform of the Equestrian Army, cut in the same style as its naval uniform but colored red instead of blue. She was sitting behind her desk with her hooves in front of her, looking at Diamond Tiara as she entered. “Would you believe,” she said, “that I predicted word for word what you were going to say when you arrived?”

“Yes,” Silver Spoon said. Diamond Tiara glared at her friend, who shrugged helplessly. “Ivory Scroll is the mayor! She’s smart, she has to be.”

“Thank you, Silver Spoon,” the Lady Mayor said. “Now then, can I get you two anything? Tea? I heard you had some tea party issues earlier. Couldn’t get the taste right.”

Diamond Tiara finally looked away from Silver Spoon, only barely resisting the urge to back up a step in surprise. “How did you know that?”

“Oh, I have my ways, young miss,” the Lady Mayor responded. “I have eyes and ears all over this…” she looked at Silver Spoon for a moment, and cracked the faintest smile, “island, and across the seas. You’ll find there’s very little that happens in the Thousand Islands that – ”

“You asked my daddy,” Diamond Tiara interrupted, obviously annoyed at the nautical imagery. She glanced backwards at the guard officer on duty, still visible out the open door.

“Mother, actually, she stopped in for a chat while delivering some of your father’s recommended amendments to the telegraph bill.”

Diamond Tiara proceeded to enter into a staring contest with the Lady Mayor, each daring the other to make the first move. Silver Spoon took the moment to step forward, coughing into her hoof. “Lady Mayor,” she said, putting on her best formal voice. She stood up straight and proper. “We would like to formally request that you hoof over the key to Espada Noche’s treasure which is currently in your possession. As this is an Equestrian outpost and we are members of the Equestrian Royal Navy, it is your duty to provide us with it forthwith so that the treasure does not fall into the hooves of pirates.”

Diamond Tiara’s glare returned to Silver Spoon. “Spoony…!” She whined. “Come on, don’t you get started on this stupid game too!”

Silver Spoon looked to her friend. “Look, if you want this to end, then we have to play the game, right? If we don’t, then Mayor Ivory Scroll won’t ever tell us where she has her key. So we need to play along.”

The other filly fumed almost enough for her coat to change from pink to red, but after a moment she looked back to the Lady Mayor with a long sigh. “Yes, fine. All that stuff. We’re with the Equestrian Navy or whatever.”

The Lady Mayor looked between the two of them, then let out a sigh. “The things I do for Pinkie…” she mumbled, then shook her head and returned her attention to the matter at hoof. She glanced down at her desk, shuffling some notes she had. “Right, then. Ahem: I do indeed have the key, and I would certainly like to help two fine young officers of the Equestrian Navy. But I’m also cursed and can’t just hoof it over. You have to complete a challenge…that will no doubt be harder because of your missing crew members. Where are the others, anyway?”





“Hi Fizzy!”

“Oh, hello, Alula, hi Firel – oh Moon and Stars it’s Firelock.”

“Hi Mister Orange! What’s in the kegs?”

“Nothing flammable!”

“Really? ‘Cause it looks like whiskey kegs – ”

“They’re not! They’re, uh…look, here’s the Cup Key! You get it for not setting the place on fire!”

“We get it…for not doing something?”

“Yes!”

“Well, okay…thanks, Fizzy! Bye!”

“Bye, Mister Orange!”

“Okay! Bye! Oh thank goodness…wait who’s that – ”

“YOU PINKIE PROMISED.”

“…and now there’s this.”





“Getting the other keys,” Silver Spoon answered the Lady Mayor. “But what’s the challenge?

“Who cursed you?” Diamond Tiara asked instead. Silver Spoon and the Lady Mayor both looked at her in surprise, not expecting her to care. Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “It can’t have been Dread Kee-pac-whatever, she’s just a ghost. Espada Noche was hanged by the Caballerians a hundred years ago in this game. So who cursed you?”

“Does it matter?” The Lady Mayor asked, shifting a little like she was uncomfortable. “It was…you know, I can’t tell you. It’s part of the curse.”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes again, in a much slower and more exaggerated fashion. Silver Spoon, meanwhile, looked back to the Lady Mayor. “So what’s the challenge?”

The Lady Mayor grinned. “First, you can’t move from where you are,” she said. “Second, you have to guess where it is in this room. You can ask me up to ten yes or no questions, which I’ll answer truthfully, to narrow it down. Go.”

“Why only ten?” Silver Spoon asked, head tilting to the side at so low a number. “Twenty’s more common, right? We should get twenty questions!”

“I’m not sure I could offer…oh, twelve total questions, Silver Spoon. This is supposed to be a challenge.” The Lady Mayor grinned as Diamond Tiara looked back to her.

“But we’re just two fillies, and we can’t even move around the room? That’s not fair. What about seventeen questions?”

“Thirteen total.”

“Fifteen?”

The Lady Mayor grinned slyly. “Alright, then. In the spirit of fairness, I’ll allow fifteen questions total…and I believe you used up five just negotiating to that. Ten questions left.”

Silver Spoon’s mouth dropped open, and her glasses slid down her muzzle. She pushed them back into place as she mentally counted all the questions she’d asked from when the Lady Mayor had said ‘go’, and felt like bucking her own flank for falling for such an obvious trap. At least it hadn’t left them worse off than when they’d started. She sighed, ears folding back as she looked at the floor. “Sorry, Deets…that’s my fault…”

Diamond Tiara paused a moment, glowering at the Lady Mayor, before sighing and bumping her muzzle against her friend’s neck, nuzzling her. “It’s fine, Spoony. Besides, I only need one question answered.”

“Wait, what?” The Lady Mayor and Silver Spoon asked at the same time.

Diamond Tiara grinned, standing up straighter and looking at the Lady Mayor. “You knew we were coming, Silver Spoon and me, specifically. You know me ‘cause you know my mommy and daddy, so you’d know exactly where the last place I’d look for a key is. But you also think that you’re smarter than us just ‘cause we’re foals and you’re an adult, which is why you didn’t think up who ‘cursed’ you, you didn’t think I’d ask.” She started pacing slowly, waving a hoof while holding her head high. “So a foal would think to look under the rug or in one of your desk drawers or hidden in a book or something. All the places a key should be hidden. But I’m not a little foal, I have my cutie mark, my special talent is accessorizing, I know what goes with what and I know when something is out of place…” she stopped pacing, and pointed to the still-open room door. “And that should be closed if we’re in a meeting! The only reason to leave it open is if something is hidden in it – in the last place you think a foal would look for a key – in a keyhole!”

Diamond Tiara marched up to the door and pushed it closed – showing to everypony in the room that, in its inner keyhole, there was a black feather pen. She plucked it out with her teeth and chewed on the quill thoughtfully, looking at the Lady Mayor pointedly. “So my one question is: am I right?”

The Lady Mayor took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, once more placing her hooves together before her on the table. “Yes,” she said. “Well played, Diamond Tiara. I pity the mayor who’s going to have to deal with you when you take your father’s place on the town council.”

“Hmph,” Diamond Tiara intoned. She took the feather from her mouth, looked it over, then came back over to Silver Spoon and passed it to her. “Here. Black doesn’t go with my coat.”

Silver Spoon looked at the quill in her hooves, then back up to Diamond Tiara. “That was amazing!” She informed her captain.

Diamond Tiara, of course, swelled with pride. “When you’re captain you have to know these sorts of things, you know…” she drifted off for a moment, then whickered in annoyance. “I mean, my daddy taught me to pay attention to the little stuff.” She took the quill from Silver Spoon and reached up to her mane, sticking her tongue into her teeth for a moment as she wove the feather into place so that it would hang fashionably within Silver Spoon’s locks. “There, now we won’t lose it.”

The silver filly smiled. “Right!” Diamond Tiara turned around and headed off without another glance at the Lady Mayor, who if anything looked relieved at the end of the meeting. Silver Spoon couldn’t stop herself from giving a short, curt bow instead in the Equestrian Naval tradition, but quickly turned around and fell into step alongside Diamond Tiara.

The two paused outside of the Equestrian fortress, scanning the skies. “No smoke,” Diamond Tiara said, speaking for both of them, “so that probably means Firelock didn’t set anything on fire. Let’s meet up at Sugarcube Corner and figure out how we’re going to get those other keys.”

They made their way back to the jolly-boat – in Silver Spoon’s eyes, anyway, though she was starting to suspect that Diamond Tiara was beginning to get into the spirit of things in spite of herself – and set out to sea to rendezvous with the Diamond Tiara. They’d meet up, make a plan, seize the treasure for Equestria…and wipe the pirates from the seas!





Rosedust put in to port with her usual grace – full breakneck speed with all her sails unfurled until the last minute, causing the ship to careen up to the dock at a frankly ludicrous speed that only wasn’t a disaster by dint of Rosedust’s shallow draft allowing her to avoid beaching herself. Every crewmember held on for dear life lest they be hurled overboard.

“Scootaloo…” Dinky moaned as she straightened herself out, adjusting her captain’s hat. “Be careful!”

Scootaloo looked back to Dinky. “I was being careful! C’mon, when was the last time I crashed into anything?”

“Yesterday,” Featherweight provided. He turned his head slightly to the left and pointed. “Right there.”

Some of the foals saw a dented wall, some of them saw grooves in a sandy beach leading up to knocked-over palm trees. Either way they saw signs of disaster. “Eh, nopony was hurt,” Scootaloo responded eventually, waving her hoof. “Now c’mon! This is our last key!”

The crew of the Rosedust disembarked and went ashore. This particular isle of the Thousand Islands took the form of a vast set of plantations growing cotton and workshops to turn that cotton into pillows, lumber yards to build frames, and birds of every description who’s shorter molted feathers could provide the stuffing for pillows and longer or more ornate feathers could be sold off as quills. The five foals imagined themselves passing by several fields full of ponies hard at work tending their crops or birds, or copses of trees being cleared.

Or they went in through the front door of Quills and Sofas, but that was less fun.

Eventually, they came into the town itself, and went straight to the governor’s mansion, being let in by servant ponies. Being a rough-looking band of renegades, they of course caught the attention of the Governor of the island, who came over to meet them. “Well, then!” He called. “What have we here?”

“Hi, mister Davenport!” Snails said.

“Governor Davenport,” Dinky corrected.

Governor Davenport – a brown-coated earthy pony stallion, in a smart blue jacket and with a finely coiffed, slicked-back mane – grinned broadly, rubbing one hoof against his coat. “Governor?” He asked. “But I thought you were all renegades from the Equestrian Army. That’s what Sparkler told me, anyway. Shouldn’t that mean that I, as Governor, should put you under arrest?”

The five foals’ eyes all grew wide as they glanced to one another, bunching up a little. Featherweight swallowed. “Um…but you’re not going to, are you? It wasn’t our fault, what happened in Neigh Orleans! We fought against the pirates really hard!”

“Ah, but rules are rules, aren’t they?” The Governor asked. He searched through his jacket pockets for a moment, before pulling out a piece of paper that had Pinkie’s cutie mark drawn on it. “Yes, let me see…fought against the pirates, but failed and let Neigh Orleans get sacked. Some in the Royal Court even wonder if you helped conspire with the Pirate King. After all, there is no way that the main port of Equestria, as well-defended as it was, should have fallen to mere pirates.”

“It’s all Pipsqueak’s fault!” Dinky exclaimed, stomping a hoof. “He’s…he’s really smart! He outflanked us. Had a hidden force come up from behind the fort, made us use up all our ammunition!”

“Oh, I see,” the Governor said with a laugh. “Well, of course, not seeing such a trick coming and failing to stop it excuses everything. And are you sure you didn’t just throw your lot in with him afterwards? You look like a bunch of scallywags and ne’er-do-wells. Guards!”

The foals all leaped in surprise when, seemingly from nowhere, a pair of earth ponies in uniforms appeared on either side of the renegade crew, seeming to be trying to out-do each other in looking surly. Dinky, Featherweight, Snails, and Twist all found themselves competing for space hiding behind Scootaloo, who for her part only stood up taller and glared at either earth pony, daring them to lay a hoof on her fellow crewmates.

Before they could, however, the Governor lifted a hoof. The guards backed down. “But as it happens…” he said, “I could in fact use the help of a bunch of renegades come to my shores. There’s an issue that needs resolving…and you might even be able to get one of those keys I know you’re after out of it.”

The renegades all looked to one another, before Twist glanced back to the Governor. “All we have to do is make it to the other thide – side, right? That’th what the…that’s what the map said.”

The Governor grinned. “Yes…but it won’t be as simple as you think. Come with me!” He turned, and lead them out from his town and across the island, his guards – well, employees – in tow. The small herd made its way across the island, out past its cotton fields and lumber yards and through the forest that covered the island itself. It wasn’t long before they came across a cliff face – the back of the store – split open by a cave’s yawning mouth. The cave had been sealed up by an ornate door, but by pulling a lever the Governor caused the door to open slowly and menacingly. Inside, the cave was as dark as could be, and silent as a tomb…

“Dad? Is that my cue?”

At least until a voice called out from it.

“Hi Lyra!” Snails called down into the cave, recognizing the voice.

“Hi Snails!” Lyra called back up from somewhere in the cave’s depths.

The Governor groaned, running a hoof across his face, and stuck his head into the cave. “Lyra, honey, Pinkie Pie was kind of vague about how in-character I’m supposed to remain with that Pinkie Promise, and you know how she gets – ”





“Is the tapioca really necessary?! Is this even tapioca?! What is this?!”

“YOU PINKIE PROMISED.”

“Berry…!”

“Sorry, Fizzy, but you did. It’s out of my hooves.”





“ – so try and just go along with things, okay?”

“Okay…”

The Governor cleared his throat, pulling out and double-checking his card again, before looking back to the renegades. “Right. This here cave contains a terrible monster…a siren! And she’s guarding the key you need. She’s also guarding stolen treasure that my little island needs. If you five can get past the siren and bring back the treasure, then you can also keep the key.”

The five looked to each other, before Scootaloo smiled, tapping her front hooves together forcefully. “So all we have to do is beat up a siren?” She grinned. “I bet I can take on a siren!”

“My momma did,” Dinky said, nodding in agreement.

“So did my big sister,” Snails said with a smile.

“No they didn’t!” The ‘siren’ called out from the cave. “I dealt with the sirens! Sirens! Plural! There were three of them! What are Ditzy and Raindrops telling you two? I’d expect this sort of thing from Trixie, but…”

“Stay in character, honey,” the Governor called down.

“I am in character! My character’s feelings at the moment just happen to mirror my own.”

The Equestrian renegades giggled, or four of them did. Twist was instead adjusting her glasses, looking lost in thought as she glanced between the cave and the Governor. “What is it?” Dinky asked.

Twist looked at the Governor again, then back to Dinky. “I’ll tell you in the cave,” she said. “It’th a thecret.”

Dinky’s head tilted slightly at that, but after a moment she nodded, then turned to the cave. “Well, then, let’s get down there! You hear that, Miss Siren? We’re coming for you!”

“Bring it!”

The five Equestrian renegades began their descent into the cave. It was dark, although Snails and Dinky’s horns lit up to provide light. The cave had a series of steps leading down into its bowels; once they’d reached the bottom, Dinky and Snails lit up their horns brighter, and revealed a vast, waterlogged chamber. The bottom of the cave was covered with deep water – in the form of a layer of pillows and cushions – that all led up to an island at the far end upon which sat two treasure chests, both unlocked.

As the foals watched, the water, previously completely still, rippled…and then from it rose the siren, a seafoam-green creature with a frill of white and golden flecks across the scales that covered her body. Where her upper body was basically pony-like in shape, her lower body was instead a fish’s tail. And when she smiled, it was with a mouth full of sharp, needle-like teeth. Atop her forehead was a unicorn-like horn.

“Hey,” she said casually, the foals not at all seeing Lyra Heartstrings with her back half buried amongst blue pillows. “I’m the siren. Call me…huh, you know, I don’t think I ever got any of their names…”

Scootaloo grinned as she walked right up to the edge of the water. “It doesn’t matter, siren! ‘Cause there’s no way you’ll be able to stop all of us. It’s five-on-one.”

The siren looked between each of them, adjusting her position in the water so that she was lying on it, like one might lie down on a bunch of pillows. She tapped a hoof to her mouth. “Five-on-one is a lot…” she noted, stretching. “And I just ate. All those islanders up there coming down for the treasure. There is a lot of it…” she waved a hoof casually back at the treasure chests. “So every now and then an islander comes down trying to get to it.” She licked her teeth.

Twist stepped up to the edge of the water and looked at the two treasure chests behind the siren. “Which one hath the key?” She asked. “I bet that’th the challenge, right? We have to gueth?”

The siren grinned, but also shook her head. “Oh, no, not at all,” she said. She slid backwards in the water – letting out a slight whine as she did from moving from her comfortable position – and touched a hoof to one treasure chest. “This one has the key you’re seeking.” She opened the chest and pulled out a small, ornate lyre from it, sized for foals. “See? The lyre key.” She placed it back into the chest, though she left the chest open, then swam over and opened up the other chest. “And in here…”

The foals all gasped at what was revealed, though none more than Twist. The chest was full to bursting with treasure…or what foals would consider treasure, anyway. That meant sweets. There were gumdrops and gummies, jawbreakers and mints, licorice and candy floss and an entire dental emergency more. And, of course, liberally sprinkled throughout was chocolate coins in silver and copper wrappers.

The siren swam off a little ways, leaving a clear path to the treasure, her fish-tail swishing the water lazily. “Come on in, the water’s fine…” she sang. “I won’t bite. Like I said, I’m not very hungry right now. I’m even feeling pretty helpful. Look…” She extended a hoof, pointing to a feature that none of the foals had noticed. Behind the two chests was a set of rough-hewn stone stairs leading up. “It’s another way out of this cave, leads to another exit. I bet the Governor doesn’t even know about it, since ponies don’t normally return from a trip down here. Your lucky day…”

“And what’s the challenge?” Featherweight asked, wings buzzing slightly. “There has to be a challenge, right?”

“Naaaah, not feeling it,” the siren intoned, lying back down in the water and folding it around her not unlike a bunch of pillows. Siren magic was potent. “No challenge.”

The five Equestrian renegades looked between each other. Twist had a huge grin on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. “Guyth,” she said in a low whisper, stepping up to the other four, “thith ith the betht!”

“I’ll say,” Snails said. “We don’t even have to do anything.”

“No, it’th even better!” Twist said. “Think about it. We can get the key…and the town’th treathure! We can uthe that way out.” She pointed at the other set of stairs. “That way even if Pipthqueak or Diamond Tiara beatth uth, we thtill get treathure! All that candy!”

Scootaloo brightened, grinning wickedly, while Snails and Dinky both blanched. “But we said we’d bring back the town’s treasure,” Dinky countered.

“No we didn’t,” Scootaloo said. “We were told to do it…but nopony ever actually promised we would!”

Dinky opened her mouth to argue the point, but then closed it when she realized that Scootaloo was right. They had not, in fact, promised the Governor anything, he had merely threatened to arrest them, then brought them to the cave instead. And expected them to fight a siren for him…

“We didn’t say it,” Snails said, brow furrowing as he thought, “but that doesn’t matter. It was, um…said without saying it.”

“That doethn’t make thenthe,” Twist objected. “And the Governor wath mean to uth! He threatened uth with aretht!”

“Because he thought we were pirates,” Snails said. “But we’re not.”

“I mean…” Featherweight spoke up, glancing between the other four foals. Scootaloo was next to Twist, while Dinky and Snails had bunched up closer together as well. The other four looked at him, and he offered a shrug. “We sort of are. We’ve got us a map that leads us to a hidden box that’s buried deep away, and we’re sailing the seas…we sure sound like pirates.”

Dinky fidgeted, glancing over and across the water again. There was a lot of treasure over there, and the key they needed. And Pipsqueak was Pirate King, he was deceitful and clever and smart and maybe a little dashing if Dinky was being completely honest. If there was a way for him to win the race for Espada Noche’s treasure, he’d find it…and Dinky wasn’t entirely certain that she could outsmart him. Plus Diamond Tiara was involved now too, and she was domineering, rich, powerful, and above all else determined…and, Dinky realized, neither she nor Pipsqueak had ever figured out what to do for the third-place winner of the race for the treasure. The first-place got two-thirds, the second-place got one-third, but that was back when Dinky and Pipsqueak had thought there was only the two of their crews. Diamond Tiara getting involved…would third place get nothing?

Well, probably not; Dinky knew her friends well enough to know that, as she scratched at an itch on her flank. But the third-place crew would be left having to beg for treasure from the first and second place crews…

She felt a hoof on her withers. Glancing, she saw it was Snails, who was looking at her with a sort of certainty that she’d never really seen from him before. “It’s not right,” he said.

Dinky stared back a moment, before nodding, looking back to Twist and Scootaloo. “Snails is right,” she said. “We’re not pirates. We’re members of the Equestrian Army! Even if we’re at sea. We don’t even want the treasure for ourselves, we want it to make up for what happened in Neigh Orleans! If we betray the Governor’s trust, then we’re no better than Pipsqueak!”

“Pipsqueak is kinda’ cool, though,” Scootaloo said. “He does make being a pirate look good.”

“Pipsqueak is a pirate! He’s a no-good lying scallywag! An evil rapscallion! A cruel corsair! A seedy swashbuckler!” Dinky didn’t even realize that she’d moved up to being practically muzzle-to-muzzle with Scootaloo until the last word came out. She was giving the pegasus filly as harsh a glare as she’d ever given anypony, and felt heat in her cheeks at the thought of Scootaloo finding Pipsqueak ‘cool’ or ‘looking good’. “Just because he’s good with a sword and really clever and fetching doesn’t mean we should be like him!”

“What’th he fetching?” Twist asked.

Dinky paused, backing away from Scootaloo. The other four foals were all staring at her expectantly. “Um…the Espada Noche’s treasure, of course. Same as us.” Had she really called Pipsqueak that? Did she mean it? Her other friends didn’t seem to know the other meaning of the word, which she’d heard her momma use before. It was a good thing Sweetie Belle wasn’t here… “Look,” she said, “the point is that we should be trying to win this game fair-and-square.”

Featherweight shifted a little again, ruffling his wings. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said, moving slightly so that he was sitting next to Snails. “We want to return to Equestria as heroes! Or at least as ponies deserving another chance. Not as pirates, or at least, not this kind of pirate.”

With Featherweight, Dinky, and Snails looking at the other two, Scootaloo and Twist both could sense the crews’ determination to do the right thing turn against their desire to abscond with the treasure. Twist looked longingly over her shoulder again at all the sweets and treats, mouth watering a little…but at length she sighed and nodded, turning back. “Yeah. You’re right,” she decided.

“I guess so too,” Scootaloo admitted. “My mom was in the Night Guard, I guess she probably wouldn’t want me to be a pirate.”

Dinky looked between the two of them, then nodded to herself and stepped up, pulling both into a hug, which Featherweight and Snails joined in on. “We’re doing the right thing,” Snails assured everypony.

“Yup, you are.”

The five Equestrian renegades all started, breaking their group-hug and turning towards the water. The siren had swam up to the water’s edge and was resting with her forelegs on dry land, head in her hooves as she looked up at them. Behind her, both chests were wrapped in a golden glow, and levitated across the water and set down before the foals. “Which is a shame because I really wanted to eat you.”

“Huh?” Snails asked.

“There was a challenge,” Lyra said. She waved a hoof back at where the chests had been, and the other exit. “If you five had actually tried to take the treasure for yourselves? I’d have stopped you and kept you down here…forever! Or until I got hungry…” she grinned a toothy, pointed grin. “The challenge was seeing if you were all honest ponies, if you were loyal enough to your word, even if it was just your implied word. And you were!”

Twist was almost immediately at the treasure chest that was full of candy…but even though she had instinctively reached for its contents, she stopped herself, sighed, and closed it up tight. “Th…so…if I hadn’t suggested we take the treasure for ourselves, then there really wouldn’t have been a challenge? We’d already be on our way?”

The siren reached up a little and patted Twist on the head. “Hey, it’s okay to be tempted, Twist. What matters is whether or not you give in.” She smiled brightly, no longer looking predatory. “And the best way to resist it is to have friends to help you out.”

Twist brightened. “I’ve got the best friends!” She insisted. The other members of her crew cheered, and took that as their cue to leave the siren’s cave behind. They were greeted back on the surface by Governor Davenport, who was looking much more honestly jovial as he accepted the treasure and let the foals take the Lyre Key – and also risked breaking character to make sure that they all knew that he and his employees at Quills & Sofas weren’t really mean ponies, they had just acted the part for the challenge. The five foals all confirmed that they knew that and understood, and Pinkie Pie didn’t appear, so all ended well on the island as the crew returned to the Rosedust and put to sea once more…now with all their keys.

“So now what?” Scootaloo asked, actually steering the Rosedust at a somewhat sedate pace through the waters of the Thousand Islands. “We have all our keys…but how are we gonna get any more?”

Dinky looked over the map of the Thousand Islands, or at least the third of it that she possessed. “Well…” she intoned, “if we have our three keys…but we need the keys of the other pirate crews too somehow…that means we need to meet up with them or at least get some eyes on them.”

“Parley?” Scootaloo asked. She did hang out with Sweetie Belle a lot, after all.

“Maybe,” Featherweight said. “We’ll have to figure something out. But until then, we should go to some place we know they’ll go. So where does every pirate end up eventually? When they’re done being a pirate for the day and need to go home?”





As rough-and-tumble a settlement as any, the isle of Caimán was a dangerous place. A meeting point for pirates across the Thousand Isles, it was a neutral ground in theory, or at least the pirates were not allowed to open fire upon one another’s ships in the bay. Peace was maintained by the fact that it was one of the few places where the corsairs, rapscallions, freebooters, marauders, picaroons, and all manner of other scurvy sea-dogs could spend their ill-gotten gains; that, and the strange and mystical powers of the Hoodoo Queen who kept everypony there in line.

It was also Sugarcube Corner, and no foal wanted to risk being banned from there due to misbehavior.

Sweetie Belle, Truffle Shuffle, and Tootsie Flute were in a tavern in Caimán Town, although not in its front – as soon as Sweetie Belle had come in, she’d gone right up to the Hoodoo Queen and told her that she was there for a challenge for the key. The Hoodoo Queen had been mysterious and spooky at first and looked like she was going to take Sweetie to some mysterious place full of danger and excitement to get the key…but then her tail had started twitching erratically and her mane had somehow almost changed color from pink to red, and instead the Hoodoo Queen had taken Sweetie Belle to a kitchen and told her that her challenge was going to be to make all the tapioca.

All of it.

Sweetie Belle had tried to explain that she was, charitably, not much of a cook. The Hoodoo Queen had only grinned at that and said that it was perfect, just don’t set the building on fire. Truffle Shuffle and Tootsie Flute had been put on anti-fire duty and given a tray of cupcakes for their trouble while Sweetie Belle worked, making something that broadly could be considered, under very loose definitions, to be tapioca.

“…so,” Sweetie Belle said as she stirred up what was going to be the last of the alleged tapioca she produced, having only covered maybe a tenth of the kitchen in residue from her efforts, “Firelock and Alula and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are probably already on their way here. Once I finish this last batch then I get the key from here. And we’ll have all three keys on our map!”

Truffle Shuffle took a swig of rum (juice) and a bite of cupcake (cupcake). “But you’ll still need six more from the other foals,” he said. “So how are you gonna get it?”

Sweetie Belle grinned. “That’s where you two can come in,” she said. “See, the crews can’t steal each others’ maps and probably not each others’ keys. But you two,” she turned to look at them, brushing her mane (and a bit of tapioca) out of her eyes, “aren’t part of any crew. So if you can just get their keys for me…I mean, us…then I’ll make sure you get a full share!”

Tootsie Flute shifted uncomfortably as she bit into some of her own cupcake. “My momma and papa says that a proper unicorn doesn’t steal.”

Truffle sighed at the mention of Tootsie’s parents and their beliefs about what proper unicorns did and didn’t do. “They also called me a phase,” the earth pony colt said.

Tootsie started at that, dropping her cupcake and immediately stepping up to Truffle, hugging him tightly (and smushing some of his own cupcake against her chest and Truffle’s own). “No you’re not!” Without letting go of Truffle, she turned to look at Sweetie, determination in her eyes. “Fine! We’ll help steal the keys!”

“But wait,” Truffle said, pushing Tootsie off of him gently. “If we’re getting a share, then that means we’re part of the Diamond Tiara’s crew. So then we can’t steal, it’s against the rules.”

Sweetie paused in her stirring of tapioca as she considered that, while Tootsie, much to her own chagrin, had to get further away from Truffle so as to put out a small flame that had sprung up from nowhere and against all reason near the ingredients. “Welllll…” Sweetie intoned. “There is a way around that. If we three make our own crew, then we’re not part of the other three. And that way there’s more treasure for us!”

Tootsie grinned, rubbing her hooves together, fully caught up in defying her parents in any way possible at the moment. Truffle looked between the two fillies, then shrugged as he got a new cupcake for himself. “It’s not technically against the rules,” he said. “And just because you didn’t start the game as a pirate doesn’t mean you can’t become one…and pirates never play by the rules!”

Sweetie laughed. Tootsie joined in, and Truffle a moment later. The Hoodoo Queen showed up for the last of what vaguely resembled tapioca and hoofed over a pristine wooden spoon to Sweetie, said it was the key, and then took off again while shouting about oranges and Lyra being on thin ice or something.

And in an alley outside the tavern, but in a perfect spot to overhear everything going on in its kitchen, Pirate King Pipsqueak and his crew listened in, and Pipsqueak chuckled to himself. “Aye, cap’n Sweetie Belle,” he said. “Ye can make yerself a filly o’ fortune and that frees ye up to steal.” He looked to Rumble, Snips, Bee Bop, and Applebloom. “But it also means that we can break the Pirate’s Code and steal from her, if’n she be the one what does it first.” He looked pointedly at Rumble, standing up on the tips of his hooves to close the difference in height somewhat. “Right, me hartey?”

Rumble considered, then grinned and nodded. “Right…captain Pipsqueak.”

Pipsqueak chuckled again, and ushered his crew on. They needed to get back to the Hispaniola and get their own final key first, but then all they had to do was steer clear of Sweetie Belle, wait for the filly and her rogues to take the keys of the other two crews…and then close in.

“Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me…” Pipsqueak hummed softly, and laughed.
> 8. Dark Clouds over Caimán Town
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Flowering Isle was a place of abiding beauty among the Thousand Isles, a dead volcanic caldera that was overgrown with blooms of every shade and color. While the isle had a spring of fresh water on it to support the gardens, there were other, larger islands nearby with better coves and harbors and more usable resources. Thus, the Flowering Isle was untouched by the hooves of true civilization, the only residents a small tribe of native earth ponies who sustained themselves on flowers and water and needed nothing else, living in perfect harmony with nature. They were a peaceable folk who had never caused any trouble for anypony and whom nopony had ever troubled before…

…except once, a hundred years ago, when a certain Caballero pirate had traveled to their shores and asked them to hold onto a key for him. Perhaps Espada Noche had intended to come back for it…but he never had, the Caballeros having caught up with him. And so the Flower Key passed down from one tribal leader to the next, the reason for the task basically forgotten save for the importance of preserving the Flower Key.

Captain Pipsqueak observed the Flowering Isle from his spy-glass, still humming to himself at the sight. “Naught but flower-fed natives lay before us, me maties,” he said, clapping his spy-glass closed and turning to his crew as the Hispaniola drifted to a stop near the Flowering Isle. “This will be even easier than Neigh Orleans!”

“Neigh Orleans weren’t that easy,” Applebloom objected. “It took us all day to take it.”

Pipsqueak had to concede that point. He’d also commanded a far larger flotilla during the sack of Neigh Orleans, rather than just his single ship and crew. “Aye, ‘tis true. Cap’n Dinky put up a mighty stiff defense for a land-lubber. But we won the day! And this…” He waved a hoof at the Flowering Isle. “This be nothin’!”

“We’re right here, you know,” one of the native ponies said, her ordinary talking voice somehow reaching all the way from the beach to the decks of the Hispaniola, despite Hispaniola still being nearly five hundred feet from dry land.

“You can’t hear us, we’re still on our ship!” Bee Bop informed the native pony, shouting to be heard over the distance. “You’re ashore! You have to wait for us to get off our ship!”

“Oh. Okay.”

Pipsqueak tried to think of how to start up addressing his crew again, but couldn’t think of anything after an interruption like that. Sighing, he directed his crew to the jolly-boats so that they could go ashore, putting in at a sandy beach that quickly gave way to a bright and colorful jungle full of flowers. Some of the jungle had been cleared away for the native ponies’ village, simple huts made of felled palm tree beams and leaves and grass. Even these were covered from stem to stern in flowers.

The pirate crew was met by a trio of native earth ponies. The one in front had a very pale yellow coat, a red mane, and was wearing a skirt made of palm leaves and was covered in intricate tattoos that looked like roses, or at least as far as the foals were concerned that was what she looked like. Beside her were two other mares in similar attire, both with pink coats, though one had a blond mane and tattoos that suggested lilies, and the other a green mane and tattoos that looked like daisies.

The native ponies looked the pirates up and down. “So are you ashore?”

Pipsqueak ground his teeth together in frustration at dealing with the natives of the Flowering Isle. “That there be the ship,” he said, pointing a hoof to the Hispaniola where she lay moored, then pointed to the sandy beach beneath him. “We be hardly swimmin’!”

“Okay, okay,” the blond-maned one said as she raised her hooves. “We just wanted to be sure this time.” She coughed into her hoof, looking to the other natives. “Well, then. I’m Lily, and this is Daisy, and over there is Rose. And we’re the natives of this island! You have to complete a – ”

“You’re using your real names?” Snips interrupted.

“Yeah, that’s not as fun,” Bee Bop said. Her wings fluttered and she hopped a little. “Ooh! Ooh! Use the Old Unicorn names for your flowers! Like what Miss Cheerilee taught us about tacks-anatomy…” she noticed Pipsqueak turning the baleful glare of the Pirate King on her, and coughed into her hoof. “I mean, I learned that in school. When I went to school…which I didn’t ‘cause I’m a priate!”

“The Old Unicorn word for ‘rose’ is just rosa, it’s not all that different,” Rose observed.

“Same,” observed Lily. “Lilium.”

“Ooh, but mine would be,” Daisy pointed out. “Bellis perennis for common daisies. Argyranthemum for marguerite daisies…”

Pipsqueak groaned, burying his head in his hooves. The other foals noticed his frustration with the immersion-breaking tangent, while Daily, Lily, and Rose – the Flower Trio of Ponyville, clustered around their mobile flower carts as was their usual habit when they weren’t tending their greenhouse – were now talking about all the official, scientific names for various flowers they sold, quizzing each other in their knowledge.

It was Rumble who tried to bring things back to the Thousand Isles, stepping up to the three tattooed native ponies. “So,” he said. “Espada Noche came here a long time ago and give you the Flower Key, right? Or, like, your grandparents or something. So now we have to do something to get it, right?”

The native ponies all looked back to the pirates. “Oh, yes, of course,” said the one with the daisy tattoos. “Well, we put a lot of thought into it, and we wanted something that five foals – ”

“Five pirates,” the native with lily tattoos corrected with a smirk.

“Yes, of course. Five pirates could do. So…a singing competition!”

Bee Bop perked up notably at that, leaning forward. “Singing?” She asked. “I can sing! I’m great at singing!”

The natives all took a reflexive step back at the volume. “Oh,” the one with rose tattoos said. “W-well, that’s good! We didn’t want to pick something too hard.”

Pipsqueak finally glanced out from behind his hooves at that. “Not to…?” He echoed quietly.

Nopony else heard him as the three Flowering Isle natives all bunched up together, and started singing, and even doing what appeared to be an interpretive dance:

“Five spring flowers, all in a row.
“The first one said, ‘We need rain to grow!’
“The second one said, ‘Oh my, we need water!’
“The third one said, ‘Yes, it is getting hotter!’
“The fourth one said, ‘I see clouds in the sky.’
“The fifth one said, ‘I wonder why?’
 
“Then BOOM went the thunder
“And ZAP went the lightning!
“That springtime storm was really frightening!
“But the flowers weren't worried–no, no, no, no!
“The rain helped them to grow, grow, GROW!”
 
The five pirates stared at the natives, who all looked pleased with themselves as they ended their little song on their hind legs, hooves thrown in the air to make themselves as tall as possible. They held their pose for several seconds before coming back down to all four hooves each again. “So,” said the rose-tattooed native. “Can you beat that?” She held up a single rose. “Because if not…you’ll never get this.”

“…Crew meeting!” Pipsqueak roared. “Back t’ the ship! Crew bloody meeting right bloody now!” 

The three native ponies all gasped at Pipsqueak’s language, the rose-tattooed one almost looking like she was going to faint. The other pirates, more used to sailor language and also feeling at least a modicum of their captain’s annoyance, all climbed back into the jolly-boat, rowed back to the Hispaniola, and got on board. The figurehead was staring pointedly at Applebloom. “Ah know, Ah’m not t’ use that language,” she assured it.

“That was, like, a song for yearlings,” Bee Bop said in annoyance, as the five huddled together. Against all odds, she was actually keeping her voice low, not wanting the natives to somehow overhear them despite the distance from the shore.

“If I had a little brother I wouldn’t sing that,” Snips said. “And in a singing contest?”

“They look happy with it,” Rumble observed, glancing up from the huddle and to the Flowering Isle natives, who indeed continued to look happy with their song. And yet not smug, not confident. Like they’d given a good challenge to the yearlings they thought the pirates were but were eagerly waiting to see how they’d overcome it. It would be cute to them.

Pipsqueak drew his sword and stabbed it down into the deck. “We be pirates,” he said. “I be the Pirate King and I will not be mocked like this! This isn’t about the Flower Key anymore, mateys. Oh, we’ll take it…but we need those natives to understand what they’ve done! Put the fear of the seven seas in ‘em!”

Rumble looked uncertain for a moment, but then shuddered – probably remembering the dance that went with the song. “Agreed, captain.”

“Aye-aye!” Applebloom, Snips, and Bee Bop all confirmed.

Overhead, dark stormclouds had begun to gather in spite of what should have been wonderful weather – what had been scheduled as wonderful weather. Pipsqueak the Pirate King had no way of knowing that through some series of contrived coincidences, the weather pegasi of Ponyville in the heartland of Equestria had realized that there was an error in the weather schedule and a light drizzle had been called for overnight, and so the pegasi there were scrambling to make up for lost time. Coincidentally, the effect was similar to what was happening over the Thousand Isles.

The native ponies looked up in concern, taking their gaze away from the Hispaniola – their mistake, for Bee Bop had gone to one of the cannons so that the pirates’ revenge could begin perfectly:

“BANG-BANG! BANG-BANG! BANG!”

The natives leapt in fright, and saw that the crew of the Hispaniola had guided her closer to the shore. The crew had seemed to multiply, dozens of Appleblooms, Snipses, and Bee Bops swarming over the Hispaniola, clutching knives and axes and cutlasses and calling out to the natives. But there was still only one Rumble, who gradually guided the crew into a morbid chant:

“We’ll see your bones sink far below
“Yo-ho, yo
“We’ll see your bones sink far below
“Yo-ho, yo
“We’ll see your bones sink far below
“Yo-ho, yo
“We’ll see your bones sink far below
“Yo-ho, yo!”
 
There was only one Pipsqueak, too, who came to the fore of Hispaniola and jabbed his cutlass towards the natives.

“All you pox-filled scurvy dogs who crossed me lay there laggin’,
“You'll end up heeled beneath my keel - it's dinner for the kraken!
“All the rest can meet yer ketch and be my cannon fodder,
“Because now you foals you’re ‘pon the shoals, come kiss me gunner's daughter!”

The Hispaniola opened fire again, cannonballs wreaking havoc on the native village and even starting a few fires. The pirates swarmed from the ship’s decks to the jolly-boats and quickly reached the shore, surrounding the natives.

“Call they all and all they fall
“And call they all today!
“All the foals they meet their end
“And on the rope they sway!
“Yo HO yo HO come on mate let's play!
“Call they all and all they fall
“Come ride the hemp today!”

The natives of the Flower Isle would never know where the pirates had gotten so much rope from, but before they knew it the three were bound together tightly as Pipsqueak appeared before them again.

“I’ll see you lined with cat-o'-nine's across yer pretty backs
“And wail and flail beneath my sail with gullies in yer sacks!
“If you wish to feed the fish then dance with ME today
“I'll see you home beneath the waves and wash your deeds away!”

He had jabbed his cutlass at the ocean at that last point, but then grinned and ordered more rope from his crew as they began singing once more, the native ponies now reduced to quivering terror at the sight of a pirate king in wrath.

“Call they all and all they fall
“And call they all today!
“All the foals they meet their end
“And on the rope they sway!
“Yo HO yo HO come on mate let's play!
“Call they all and all they fall
“Come ride the hemp today!”

A nearby tree had been found and three ropes strung over its sturdy branches, with nooses at the end. Pipsqeak leapt expertly up among them, using them to swing towards and away from the Flower Isle natives, sword tip coming inches from their muzzles.

“A swing and a swish a dying wish, the swift gift of the cutlass kiss!”
“Feeling down? Just come on ‘round we'll rest your crown fifteen leagues down!”
“Yer caught and rot, you’ll wear your guts you maggot-munching-mewling-mutts!”
“So come on mates, let's set 'em straight, and send them to a watery grave!”
 
The crew of the Hispaniola gleefully described the incoming fate of the Flower Isles natives.
 
“We'll see your bones sink far below
“Bloated, floatin’ all alone
“We'll see your bones sink far below
“Bloated, floatin’ all alone
“We'll see your bones sink far below
“Bloated, floatin’ all alone
“We'll see your bones sink far below
“Bloated, floatin’ all alone!”

The nooses were now thrown over the native ponies’ necks, who shrieked in terror, eyes wide at the sight but powerless to stop the pirates.

“Call they all and all they fall
“And call they all today!
“All the foals they meet their end
“And on the rope they sway!
“Yo HO yo HO come on mate let's play!
“Call they all and all they fall
“Come ride the hemp today!”

And Pipsqueak joined in for the final verse as he took the other ends of all three ropes in his hooves, glaring madly at the Flowering Isle natives.

“CALL THEY ALL AND ALL THEY FALL
“AND CALL THEY ALL TODAY!
“ALL THE FOALS THEY MEET THEIR END
“AND ON THE ROPE THEY SWAY!
“YO HO YO HO COME ON MATE LET'S PLAY!
“CALL THEY ALL AND ALL THEY FALL
“COME RIDE THE HEMP TODAY
 
“HEY!”

The Pirate King gave the lightest tug of the ropes – just enough to scare the natives as the nooses tightened just a little around their necks. Almost as one, the three fainted away, Pipsqueak letting go of the ropes and allowing them to fall to the ground. The one with rose tattoos fell with one foreleg outstretched, the Rose Key lying in her hoof. 

Pipsqueak trotted up to it, flipping it up into the air with his cutlass and catching it in his teeth. “I’ll take that as a concession of defeat in this challenge, then,” Pipsqueak said to the fainted trio, directing his crew – now back to its usual numbers – to once more board the jolly-boat and Hispaniola. 

The figurehead was once again glaring at Applebloom. “We weren’t really gonna hang ‘em!” she promised. “Right, Cap’n?”

Pipsqueak laughed, as he set the Rose Key down with their other keys. “No need! I said they be flower-fed weaklings, didn’t I?”

“Plus, we’re pirates,” Bee Bop said. “We’re the bad guys!”

“Speaking of which,” Rumble said as the ship got underway, the figurehead not seeming terribly pleased but powerless to do anything about it as long as Applebloom could hold the five missing barrels of cider over her brother’s head, “I think it’s time to put our plan to get the other keys into effect, right, captain?”

Pipsqueak grinned and nodded. “Aye, me first mate, it be time. Back to Caimán Town! Rosedust and Diamond Tiara are likely there now. Perhaps Sweetie Belle and her allies have even made their move…”

“So now there’s four pirate crews,” Snips said. “This is complicated…”

Pipsqueak scowled. “Not quite, Mister Snips. Diamond Tiara aren’t pirates really, and Dinky and her crew be pirates by circumstance rather than choice. Sweetie Belle may be a filly o’ fortune herself…but her new allies are no pirate neither!” He turned to face the rest of the crew. “No. Tootsie Flute and Truffle Shuffle be something every pirate hates right down to the core of their beating black hearts…”





In the far away town of Ponyville, the Sun may still have been shining in the sky, but somehow night had begun to fall on Caimán Town despite existing at a similar longitude, since a twilight glow suited the mood better. Rosedust put in at the dock and her crew disembarked into the rough-and-tumble home-away-from-home for the town’s many rapscallions and raiders just as the Sun was dipping low on the horizon, the shadows growing long and the sky a bright orange.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Featherweight asked Dinky. He pointed across the docks, at a familiar, ornate ship that seemed out-of-place amongst the more ramshackle pirate vessels at Caimán Town. “That’s the Diamond Tiara. The Equestrian Navy is here!”

“True,” Scootaloo said, answering for her captain, “but this is neutral ground. Right, cap’n?”

“Right,” Dinky agreed, as the five entered Caimán Town’s largest and most visited tavern. “Nopony will try anything here. It’s against the Pirate’s Code.”

“Good pirateth have a code,”  Twist pointed out. “But Pipthqueak ithn’t a good pirate.”

“I dunno, he did sack Neigh Orleans…” Snails observed. “He must be pretty good.”

“I mean he’th not a good pony. Of courth he’th a good pirate, he’th Pirate King.”

“Oh by the Stars, please, no more…” a new voice demanded.

The five members of Rosedust’s crew came up short inside the tavern, which was exactly as rough-and-tumble as it should have been to their eyes. Looking distinctly out-of-place were the five members of Diamond Tiara’s crew, Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara herself in their clean and proper Equestrian Royal Navy uniforms, while Alula, Sweetie Belle, and Firelock may have been dressed in plainer clothes, but they were still in much better condition than one usually expected from pirates.

It had been Diamond Tiara who had spoken, and she pressed on. “Can we please stop while we’re here?” She asked.

“Depends,” Featherweight said as the five from the Rosedust all sat down at a nearby table. “Can we go back to Equestria and stop being considered pirates?”

Diamond Tiara started to answer, but Silver Spoon spoke up first. “That is not within our power,” she observed. “Only the Princess could issue a pardon like that.” She got a glare from Diamond Tiara at that, and both fidgeted and blushed a little, but didn’t break character.

“What about the Princess’ niece?” Scootaloo asked, looking pointedly at Alula.

Princess Alula Plutonia started at that, adjusting the adventurous noble fineries she wore to try and look like a common pony (and failed miserably in that regard) and ruffling her wings. “I’m not a princess…” she mumbled.

“Oh, right, yeah,” Scootaloo said, winking. “Right, not a princess. But, um…if you were, you could put in a good word for us with Princess Luna, right?”

Alula swallowed as she thought that over. “Well, if I was a princess, then I guess I could…but I don’t know why Princess Luna would listen to me. I’m not a princess, I’m not her niece.”

“Right,” Scootaloo agreed, though she once more gave a theatrical wink as though she was in on a secret.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, looking to Dinky. “Look, I just want to get this over with,” she said, reaching down beneath the table and bringing up a two items, a wooden cup and a wooden spoon. As she did, Silver Spoon carefully untied a black feather from her hair. The three items were set down on the table. “Here’s our keys. Where are yours?”

Dinky considered the three items, then looked to her crew. Featherweight produced the ball of ice containing trapped lightning, Snails the purple crystal that glowed in the dark, and Twist the foal-sized lyre, the three being set down on their own table. “Right,” Dinky said. “So…here’s six of the keys. What do we do now?”

“Give me your keys,” Diamond Tiara said simply.

“No,” the five crew of the Rosedust said as one.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “Well I’m not going to give you any of my keys! So where does that leave us? Each of us has three keys and each of us needs all nine to open the stupid treasure chest!”

“Yeah…we don’t have much of a bargaining position,” Silver Spoon admitted. “Either of us, or Pipsqueak, wherever he and his crew are.”

“And none of them are actually keys,” Firelock observed. “None of these will fit into the lock, and there’s only one lock – ow!”

She exclaimed the last when Diamond Tiara hit her over the back of the head, but it was too late, as Twist’s eyes were already narrowing at what she said. “Wait…how do you know that?” She asked. “Unleth you’ve theen the lock, how could you know? And know that there’th only one lock…?”

“Because, my fine filly o’ fortune, they be dirty, rotten cheaters!” Another voice exclaimed, and the blood of all decent seafaring ponies went cold at the sound of it. Ten sets of eyes turned to the door of the tavern, and saw striding in none other than Pipsqueak the Pirate King and the crew of the Hispaniola, each of them more of a scurvy sea-dog than the last. They strode confidently up to another free table, glaring at and daring any other rapscallion in the tavern to stop them. None did, and soon the three seafaring crews were all looking at one another.

“Diamond Tiara,” Pipsqueak said, placing his hooves together before him, “was given the map what had the location of Espada Noche’s treasure on it. They already dug it up and put it aboard her ship!”

Dinky and her crew recoiled at that, eyes widening. “What?” Scootaloo asked, turning to look at the Equestrian Navy crew. “But that’s cheating!”

“No it’s not!” Diamond Tiara objected, getting out her cloth map and waving it in the air. “We had a map and it showed us where the treasure was and we got it! That’s exactly what we’re supposed to do! That’s how treasure hunts work!”

“I’d still expect better from the Royal Equestrian Navy!” Dinky said.

“Equestrian Royal Navy,” Silver Spoon corrected with a sniff. “And it is our duty to keep the treasure out of the hooves of pirates!”

Rumble tsk-tsk’d from the Hispaniola’s table. “The Royal Navy should be better than this…but really, what did you expect? They’re honest. And you can never trust an honest pony to be honest when you really need them to be. That’s why it’s better to be dishonest. You can always trust a dishonest pony to be dishonest.”

Dinky’s head tilted to the side as she tried to parse through that. She wasn’t the only one, as Applebloom stared at Rumble. “But…mah sis says that you should always be honest,” she objected. “‘Honesty is the best policy’, that’s what she says.”

“Not when you’re a pirate,” Bee Bop insisted.

“Ah s’pose…”

Pipsqueak held up a hoof before the conversation could continue. “Look,” he said. “Before anything else, a member of my crew has something to say to a member of the Rosedust’s.” He turned to look at Snips.

The green colt looked back at his captain for a moment, then nodded and hopped down from the table, and trotted over to the Rosedust’s – specifically, just before Snails’ seat. He let out a long breath. “Snails…I’m sorry that we were fighting over going to Diamond Tiara’s tea party.”

“I didn’t invite you,” Diamond Tiara said from her table.

Snips looked to the earth pony. “But I wanted to go! I can be cool and cultured and stuff! If you’d give me a chance instead of always making it a fillies-only thing!” Before Diamond Tiara could retort, Snips looked back to Snails. “But I’m sorry that I blamed you for not getting invited. It’s not your fault that everything you like to do usually gets us dirty. And I like doing stuff like that too! It’s not like you make me.” He cast his eyes down. “So I’m sorry.”

Snails considered, but only for a moment. “Aw…I’m sorry too,” he said, hopping down from his seat and drawing his friend into a hug. “I shouldn’t have said that you were just trying to be cool. Just ‘cause I don’t like tea parties doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be allowed to go to them. And just ‘cause you want to go to them doesn’t mean that you’re trying to be better than me.”

“I invited Rumble, it wasn’t supposed to be fillies only,” Diamond Tiara added.

“Oh, so that’s what the fight was about?” Dinky asked, as Snips returned the hug. “I’m sure that if Diamond Tiara knew you wanted to go to a tea party, she would have invited you!” She looked to Diamond Tiara expectantly. “Right?”

The pink earth pony’s eyes widened. “What? No! He’d track mud all over my nice house!”

“Hey!” Snips objected, breaking away from the hug Snails was giving him. “I clean up nice! And Snails does too! Just ‘cause we’re not afraid of getting dirty doesn’t mean we’re always dirty!”

“And you invited me,” Scootaloo pointed out. “I get dirty at least as often as those two. Like, not digging for bugs, but plenty of stuff that I do to try and get my cutie mark gets me dirty. Sweetie Belle knows, she’s usually there with me. Right, Sweetie?”

Sweetie Belle started. Her horn had been glowing green, but at being addressed she quelled its light. “Oh!” she said. “Um…yeah, sure. Tree sap.”

Pipsqueak eyed Sweetie, and grinned. “Ye be lookin’ a bit distracted there, Sweetie Belle,” he said. “That leads me to the second incidence of cheating from the crew of the Diamond Tiara. One that even her captain didn’t know about! What kind of captain be ye, Diamond, if’n ye don’t know about a mutiny brewin’ in yer own ranks?”

The fifteen foals grew quiet at that, before Diamond Tiara turned to Sweetie. “What?” she asked. “What’s he talking about?”

Sweetie glanced left and right. “Oh, uh…I have no idea! None at all. He’s just a lying pirate – ”

“Aye, I be that, but not when the truth serves me better!” Pipsqueak objected, and looked to Applebloom. “But don’t take my word for it. Surein’ the word of an Apple be worth more!”

Applebloom grinned brightly as she stood up from where she sat, looking at the other two crews. “Sweetie Belle,” Applebloom said, “was plannin’ on stealin’ the nine keys out from under us all here, and makin’ off with ‘em and the treasure. We heard it with our own ears! She was gonna get help from Tootsie Flute and Truffle Shuffle to steal all the keys and the treasure, and keep it all for herself!”

Diamond Tiara glared at Sweetie Belle, who wilted, ears folded against her head. “I…I mean…” she intoned, then swallowed and glared at her captain. “You don’t even want the treasure! So why’s it matter?”

“It matters,” Bee Bop said, hopping up onto the Hispaniola crew’s table, then leaping on top of the table for the Diamond Tiara, “because it makes you a traitor! A mutineer! And there be nothin’ worse than a mutineer!”

Dinky stared at Sweetie Belle. “You were going to take everything for yourself?” She asked in a quiet, level voice as she got from her chair.

Sweetie looked to Dinky, at first with indignation in her eyes, but that look swiftly disappeared as she made eye contact with Dinky. “I…I mean, no?” Sweetie insisted. “I was going to share with Truffle and Tootsie!”

“By stealing it from your own crew!” Dinky exclaimed, feeling heat flush through her body. “Even if Diamond Tiara doesn’t want it Silver Spoon or Firelock or Alula might, and what about the rest of us, second place was supposed to also get a share ‘cause that’s fair, even Pipsqueak agreed to that and he’s the biggest pirate there is, but how is anypony supposed to get anything if you and Tootsie and Truffle have stolen it all?!” She’d advanced towards Sweetie as she talked, rearing up on her hind legs so she could put her forelegs on the edge of the seat and glare at Sweetie directly in the eye. The edges of her vision had turned red, and for some reason her flank was itching terribly, only worsening the broiling heat in her stomach and face. “Your crew is supposed to be your friends and you were just gonna steal from your – ”

“Now!” Pipsqueak bellowed.

There was a sudden whirlwind of activity from the crew of the Hispaniola before anypony else could react. From atop the Diamond Tiara’s table, Bee Bop quickly scooped up the three keys in her hooves and threw them to Rumble, who leapt into the air, caught them, and turned tail and flew out of the tavern as fast as his young but strong wings could carry him.

Scootaloo let out a cry of surprise and made to go after him, the only one who could have kept up, but then she heard another shout from her own table and turned to look. Snips’ silvery-blue magic had grabbed the Rosedust crew’s keys and tossed them over to Applebloom, who caught them in her teeth and tail and also made a quick getaway. Snips took a moment to give another hug to Snails. “I really was sorry, honest!” He called out as he ran off. Even as he did, Bee Bop leapt over several tables, wings buzzing, and out an open window. Scootaloo was torn between too many directions, not sure which way to go.

Everypony turned to the exit of the tavern, where Pipsqueak was waving at them, having made his own getaway. “Thanks for the distraction, Cap’n Dinky!” Then he was off.

The ten remaining foals stood stock-still in shock, before Featherweight cleared his throat. “Um…” he observed. “Won’t…won’t they also need the treasure chest?”

“The ship!” Silver Spoon exclaimed. 

With that, the ten foals all rushed outside, where the sun has set over the Caimán Town in their eyes. But their hesitation had been long enough for the five corsairs of the Hispaniola to assault and ransack the Diamond Tiara. The two figureheads looked incensed, trying to disconnect themselves from the prow of the ship. “Miss Silver Spoon!” One exclaimed when the silver earth pony drew close to where the vessel lay moored on the dock. “My apologies, but five miscreants just broke into the carriage – ”

“We told them to stop, but they wouldn’t listen,” the other figurehead interrupted. “And before we could get out from this, they made off with that treasure chest you and your friends dug up!”

The ten foals all stared with dropped jaws and wide eyes, scarcely believing the ruse that they had all fallen for, the way that the Pirate King had played them like foals (which they were, but that didn’t take the sting away). “Those…” Diamond Tiara finally voiced, “those no good…rotten…thieving…PIRATES! THEY STOLE MY TREASURE!”
 
“HE USED ME AND TRICKED ME!” Dinky exclaimed. “HE GOT ME MAD AND USED ME AS A DISTRACTION!”

“HE RUINED MY PLANS!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “I WORKED SO HARD ON COMING UP WITH THIS PLAN! No! It’s even worse than that! HE STOLE MY PLAN! THIS WAS MY PLAN!”

Sweetie Belle, Diamond Tiara, and Dinky looked between one another in the glistening light of the moon and stars. “Truce?” Dinky asked.

“Truce,” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“Truce,” Diamond Tiara echoed. She jabbed a hoof at Sweetie Belle. “I’ll deal with you later, but for now, come on! We need to get the treasure back!” She rushed off towards her ship, climbing aboard quickly with the rest of her crew following.

Dinky turned to her own crew, horn glowing an angry lavender. “To the ship!” She exclaimed. “We’re not out of this yet! None of those keys can open a lock, there must still be more than has to happen. And we need to teach Pipsqueak a lesson!”

They all rushed across the docks and into the Rosedust, Scootaloo putting them to sea with incredible speed. She pulled up alongside the Diamond Tiara as it made a somewhat more laborious cruise into the open water. “Okay!” Diamond Tiara called down to them from her own vessel. “You’re faster, you can find them! Let us know where they’ve gotten off to, and then we’ll come and make them pay!”

“Ohhhh yes,” Firelock said, horn sparking a little in excitement. Alula let out a slight squeak and used her wings to fan the sparks away from the Diamond Tiara, letting them fall harmlessly to the water below.

“Not like that!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed, swiping quickly at Firelock’s horn. She missed, but Firelock got the message and stopped the sparks. “I mean…probably not. Maybe. We’ll see what my mood is. But it’ll be two against one!”

“Just a little more than that, actually,” Sweetie Belle said, pointing up. Everypony looked up at the masts of the Diamond Tiara, and their eyes widened when they suddenly realized that there were two new ponies there, dressed all in black, including black masks that covered all of their faces except for the eyes and, in the case of the smaller of the two, her horn. The larger of the two had a black bundle in his hooves, which he dropped down into Sweetie Belle’s waiting telekinesis. She retreated out of sight.

“Wait…” Twist said from the Rosedust, squinting a little. “Are thothe…are you thuppothed to be…”

“Yup!” Sweetie exclaimed as she climbed up the mast of Diamond Tiara herself, joining the other two. She had donned the black garb that Truffle had provided her with. “Since Truffle Shuffle and Tootsie Flute weren’t pirates, and since if we were another pirate crew it’d be cheating, Tootsie said that we could get away with it if we weren’t pirates. So instead, we’re…”

“Ninjas,” Tootsie provided, striking a pose. Truffle and Sweetie joined her, Sweetie in the center. “The natural enemy of pirates.”

“Sorry we didn’t stop them from escaping,” Truffle said. “We weren’t expecting that. But we’ll be better next time! Honor demands it!”

Dinky stared, then chuckled. “Oh…Pipsqueak is going to hate this,” she said, then clapped Scootaloo on the withers. “Full sail ahead! Let’s go rescue our treasure!”
> 9. The Witch of the Unseen Isle
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Hispaniola wasn’t built for speed, but its sails were broad and were catching every stray zephyr that the Thousand Isles saw fit to provide her. At the moment she had no course other than away; with both the Rosedust and the Diamond Tiara hunting her, her scurvy crew of ne’er-do-wells needed every league of head-start that they could get.

This was known to the crew. But instead of trying to coax additional speed out of their ship, or set a destination, the crew instead found itself piling around the treasure chest that sat in the hold.

“None of these are keys!” Snips objected, holding a wooden spoon and a black feather.

Rumble shook the ball of lightning, peering into it. “There’s no key in this one, either,” he noted.

Bee Bop had the purple quartz crystal jammed into the lock of the chest. “Not this one either!” she called out. “C’mon, give me the next thing that might fit!”

The feather, rose, and spoon all fit as well as the quartz, but none of them did anything to the lock no matter how hard the pirates tried. The silver apple, blank book, lightning ball, lyre, and cup were all obviously too large for the lock. Finally the scallywags were forced to give up, setting the nine keys down on the floor beneath them and staring, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Maybe…Alula would know?” Applebloom suggested. “Or Dinky – ”

“Belay that!” Pipsqueak said quickly. “After what we pulled I’d like to keep a good league or two betwixt meself and Cap’n Dinky. She’ll be smartin’ about this…”

The other pirates nodded sagely. It wasn’t easy to awaken the anger of Captain Dinky Doo, but once her righteous wrath was roused it was the stuff of legends. The crew of the Hispaniola mostly consoled themselves with the knowledge that at least Pipsqueak would get the worst of it, though it was pretty likely that all of them were going to be getting an earful once this was all over and done with.

Snips chuckled. “It was a good plan, though.”

“Aye aye!” Bee Bop agreed, throwing a hoof around his withers, and her other forehoof around Applebloom, drawing the three foc’s’le hooves into a tight embrace. “And you know why? ‘Cause while Sweetie Belle was betraying Diamond Tiara, and Diamond Tiara and her crew were arguing with Dinky and her crew, we stuck together!”

Applebloom and Snips returned the hug. Rumble rolled his eyes, though he did have a grin on his face. “Yeah, yeah – friendship. Of course you do know that we also betrayed our friends…”

“We’re not friends!” Pipsqueak objected. “Not while we be a band of murderous cutthroats, anyway. We’re pirates. We’re the bad guys!”

“Maybe we could try kicking open the lock?” Snipe suggested.

Applebloom winced. “Ah wouldn’t, we don’t wanna crack our hooves. Ah once stomped a rock hard as Ah could an’, well…Ah don’t ever wanna go through that again.”

Bee Bop rubbed a hoof to her chin. “Got any axes back at the barn?”

“Eenope!” Hispaniola’s figurehead objected immediately.

Applebloom shifted a little, before shaking her head. “Ah mean, we got ‘em, but that’d be cheatin’ somethin’ fierce, an’ dangerous too.”

The scourges of the sea stewed, staring at the nine keys that weren’t keys. Pipsqueak picked up the book key, flipping through its pages, but it was still completely blank. He thought hard. “The Sorceress of the Atoll said that this bein’ blank would make sense one we had all the keys and a full crew,” he said. “Well, we have the keys, me harteys, and a full crew, but they ain’t workin’!”

“So what do we do, Cap’n?” Snips asked.

Pipsqueak thought, crossing his hooves. “I’d say we give the Sorceress another visit,” he said, “but the mare most likely be under the powerful oath of a Pinkie Promise. We’d get nothin’ from her no matter how much we tortured her.”

“Ooh!” Snips said. “But what if instead we visited another sorceress? Maybe she could figure out what’s going on!”

“And where might we be findin’ another spell-slinger the likes of the Sorceress of the Atoll?”

“Easy!” Snips said, getting out their third of the map of Ponyville and putting a hoof down on a certain portion of it. “The Unseen Isle.” He began waving his hooves and speaking in a lower voice, setting the stage. “A mysterious island that appears and disappears like a mirage. Sometimes it’s there, and sometimes it’s not…”

“Ooh! And its haunted!” Bee Bop put in, bumping hooves with Snips. “You can hear the wailing of doomed spirits, and see them too! Weird flashes of light and awful, ghastly singing!” She frowned. “Really bad singing. Ponies shouldn’t be that bad at singing.”

The course seemed as good as any. Pipsqueak glanced to Rumble, who shrugged. “Set course for the Unseen Isle!” He said for the captain. The Hispaniola kept going straight until Rumble climbed out onto the jibboom and whispered to the figurehead, “Trixie’s house.”





Laughter pervaded the atmosphere around the Unseen Isle. It was cloaked in a vast cloud of fog, and only narrow glimpses of its rocky shores were afforded to the crew of the Hispaniola as their ship sailed cautiously through the rocks and reefs surrounding the island. The wrecks of dozens of ships, staved upon the rocks or sank far below, surrounded them. One of them looked like an old traveler’s wagon that was halfway repaired – this last made for a perfect hiding spot for the Hispaniola, where it wouldn’t be seen if the Diamond Tiara or Rosedust happened on by. The fog parted just enough for the foals to glimpse a shape standing upon one of the rocks, a ragged purple cape and cowl worn around the shape so that her true form was hidden. The shape cackled gleefully as it peered through the hole in the fog, and jabbed a blue hoof at the approaching ship.

“Ha!” the laughter concluded. “You can’t break my window because I broke it earlier trying to put up some new curtains! You’re too late!” She laughed again, then stopped. “Wait, why am I happy about that?”

The pirates, in the process of stowing the Hispaniola’s sails, glanced between one another, then shrugged as their ship coasted to a stop, and they dropped anchor. The mists of the Unseen Isle continued to swirl, and even when it parted in the same place the landscape glimpsed through the fog was never the same, the contours of the island shifting when one wasn’t looking at them.

Pipsqueak climbed up to the top of the main mast so that he could be seen clearly by the speaking form. “I be Pipsqueak, King of the Pirates! I seek out the mistress of the Unseen Isle!”

The cackling, robed form paused. “Huh?”

“We’re trying to figure out how to turn these into keys!” Bee Bop exclaimed, holding up the cup and the feather. The other members of the crew all raised keys as well.

The robed figure was still. “Huh?” she asked again.

“I think they’re playing that pick-up game of pretend,” another voice put in. The gap in the fog widened slightly, and the pirates found themselves looking at a blue unicorn stallion with a long, pointed horn. “And I guess they’ve decided to come here.”

The other pony pouted. “Wait, was that why Pinkie was running around this morning with a crocodile mask? Why wasn’t I invited into the game? I saw her out the window going to the town hall and I think over to Twilight’s…”

“Stop me when I tell a lie,” the stallion said. “If you’d been invited, you would have ignored the pile of papers on your desk, again, for the third day running. You would have gone down to the basement and set up a big fireworks display all across the front lawn. You would have spent all day talking like a pirate, including during your two o’clock meeting with Applejack, which would have started a fight as she’d think you were making fun of her accent but you’d be too ‘in character’ to just explain things. You would have gone through that window there during the fight – ”

“Ha! Stop there. The window was broken at noon.”

“The glass was broken, the window is just fine.”

“…touché.” The robed figure crossed her hooves. “I guess Pinkie thought that my work was more important. That’s responsible of her, I guess. But I’m all done now!” She turned back to the pirates. “Yaaar! I am the great and roguish Corsair Que – ”

“Actually I think you’re supposed to be some kind of witch or something,” Rumble quickly put in. “We need help from somepony who’s just as good at magic as the Sorceress of the Atoll!”

“Who?”

“Twilight.”

The robed figure paused…and then grinned and nodded. “Alright, shâ,” she said, her voice changing. “Ah can do a witch, too. Lemme just send mah zombi to collect ya…”

The mists closed up, though a bit of arguing could be briefly heard through it, then strange scurrying sounds and flashes of blue light from the island hidden in the fog. Eventually, a glow appeared through the mists, and a rowboat bearing a raggedly-clothed stallion with a horn glowing gold approached the Hispaniola. Something seemed off about the stallion, however, in his movement. He sat perfectly, unnaturally still in the boat, which moved under its own power.

The zombi turned and looked up at the pirates, his sunken eyes not seeming to come into focus, his expression completely blank. “Grrr. Argh,” he said, “I’m a zombi sent by Maman Rusée. Get in the boat.”

The pirates looked between each other nervously, but did so, taking the nine keys and the treasure chest with them. Once they were aboard, the boat started moving again, floating in through the fog, which slowly parted to reveal a dense bayou full of hissing alligators, deadly snakes, choked waterwas full of bullfrogs and insects, and overall a moody, haunting feeling. Before long, the boat coasted to a stop next to a house built in and around a dead, drowned weeping willow. A sickly greenish-yellow glow emanated from within.

What was particularly unnerving was that this wasn’t the foals’ imagination. They were really seeing this. And while objectively they knew it was just Trixie putting her illusory talents to work, it didn’t change the fact that everything looked, to put it bluntly, scary.

Pipsqueak felt himself swallowing as he and his crew came up to the door to the waterlogged tree house, which creaked open as they got near, revealing a dimly lit corridor that stretched towards a kitchen from which green light and fog poured. The zombi didn’t hesitate to step stiffly inside, then turned and pointed at the kitchen while still staring empty-eyed at the foals. “She’s in there.”

Pipqueak looked to Rumble. Rumble was already looking back, both daring the other to go first. As one, captain and first mate nodded, then turned to the rest of the crew. “You go first,” they said, pointing at Bee Bop.

“Wh-what? Bee Bop asked, wings flaring. “But, shouldn’t the captain go first?”

“Then who’d give the orders?” Pipsqeuak asked.

“What about the first mate?”

“Who’d relay the captain’s orders to the crew?” Rumble countered.

Bee Bop looked to her fellow foc’s’le hooves, lugging the treasure chest between them for backup. Both looked like they were about to come to her defense, but before Applebloom or Snips could speak, a chuckling emanated from within the home.

“Come in, shâs! Come in! We musn’t lurk in doorways…it’s rude.”

The voice had sounded warm and inviting…until the end, when it had sounded offended, and deeply malignant. Steeling themselves and reminding themselves that they were vicious and cruel pirates, the five of them stepped into the hallway, and then made their way to the kitchens. They found themselves looking at a room with a bubbling cauldron, and shelves full of strange and disturbing ingredients.

And they saw Maman Rusée herself, a blue-coated, silver-maned witch dressed in a long black robe and pointed witch’s hat, clutching a broom in her hooves. She smiled when the quintet entered, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes, which seemed to lack a good deal of the shine they should have had.

“Well, shâs, you was lookin’ for me, an’ here I is,” she said. “Now why don’t you tell your Maman Rusée what seems t’ be the trouble?”

Pipsqueak steeled himself, then stepped forward, holding out the book key and opening it. “Maman Rusée,” he said, “The Sorceress of the Atoll said that once we had all the keys and a full crew, this here book key’s blank pages would make sense. But the Hispaniola be fully crewed, and we have all the keys!”

“And the treasure chest,” Snips pointed out, bucking the box slightly. “Maybe you could just open the lock for us?”

“Choooh!” Maman Rusée exclaimed. “Ain’t no way that Maman Rusée is gon’ help you cheat like that! But that book there, maybe there’s somethin’ Ah could do. Give it here.”

Pipsqueak did as he was told, and the witch turned the book over in her hooves, feeling along its cover, shaking it open, peering closely at it. Finally, she set it down on her kitchen’s table and opened and closed it a few times by grabbing random pages. When she seemed satisfied with that, she leaned down and sniffed it.

“Ah thought so,” she said. Her horn glowed, and the flames beneath her cauldron jumped up, real heat now coming off of them and the smell of smoke starting to fill the air. She looked back to the pirates. “Now let me ask somethin’. This all your crew?”

The five corsairs looked between each other. “Aye, it be every one of the blackest-hearted ponies what sail the seas!” Pipsqueak confirmed.

“We’re the bad guys!” Bee Bop added.

Maman Rusée clucked. “I see,” she said. “I only ask ‘cause y’all seem t’ be lackin’. I knows for a fact that Dinky woulda’ figured this one out.”

The five pirates winced. “Uh…” Rumble said, scratching the back of his neck, “Dinky…isn’t in the mood to help us. We kind of stole three of the keys from her crew, and three of the keys from Diamond Tiara’s crew.”

“By goading Dinky into getting really mad,” Applebloom added.

“It was Pipsqueak’s idea!” Snips said quickly.

The illusion all around them actually stuttered, revealing that the pot and the fire over it was actually Trixie’s stove, switched on. Trixie looked to Pipsqueak, then walked up to him and put a hoof on his withers while looking at him with a solemn, resigned expression. 

“You are already dead, kid,” she said, accent dropping.

Pipsqueak shifted a little. “Uh…y-yeah, I know. But it was a really good plan!”

“Hope it’s really good treasure.” Then the illusion reappeared, and Maman Rusée stepped away from Pipsqueak. “Well then, pirates, Ah’m gon’ take pity on y’all an’ wave my normal fee. But fo’ what it’s worth, Ah don’ think y’all have a full crew. Dinky coulda’ figured this out, an’ Firelock – if she be ploughin’ the seas somewhere – coulda’ helped.”

“Firelock?” Rumble asked. “What do we need to burn down?”

“Not burn down, just heat up.” Maman Rusée lifted the book key again, an then held it close to the fire. As the foals watched, lines started to appear from nothing on the page, slowly starting to draw something.

“Lemon juice,” Maman Rusée explained. “Draw somethin’ in lemon juice, and it disappears. But heat can make it appear again! And what else is revealed but…mah basement?”

The foals all crowded as near as they could to the book to look on. Indeed, gradually, the lines had realized themselves into a roughly rectangular shape that was clearly labeled as “Trixie’s Basement”. Beneath the label was a picture of three balloons, then a smaller note: “Play along! You’re a contingency if they don’t go to Twilight!” In one corner of the basement was an X.

“It’s, um…” Applebloom thought. “A…key you kept hiddin’ yourself?”

“You used your magic to tell the future!” Bee Bop said, “and knew we’d come!”

Maman Rusée considered, then shrugged. “Well, the spirits do work in mysterious ways. An’ Ah’m just happy t’ be included. C’mon, shâs, I take you down below!”

The witch lead the pirates to a door in her kitchen, and opened it and proceeded down the stairs, horn flashing as she went. The pirates followed, bringing the keys and the treasure chest with them. They were treated to the sight of a mist-shrouded cavern, with above-ground stone crypts poking out of the fog and an eerie green light permeating everything they could see. Maman Rusée lead them over to a tall crypt in the back – which if this had been a basement would have been the boiler – and checked the map in the book.

“Mais, here we be,” she said, and smiled. “Now Ah’ll stick ‘round just in case any of mah relatives decide t’ let themselves out a’ they crypts and meet ya.” As she said that, one of the crypts’ lids seemed to shudder, but she quickly put a hoof on it and smiled at them.

The corsair crew wondered if this was a preview of what Nightmare Night would be like this year in the far-away town of Ponyville. It was definitely going to live up to its name if so. But they quickly set that thought aside as they started looking around the tall crypt, which was near where the X on the map was. Snips lit his horn up so that the pirates could see better by his silvery-blue light. Rumble and Bee Bop searched high, while Applebloom and Pipsqueak looked low.

It was the latter two who came across what they were looking for, beneath the crypt, which sat on four legs rather than directly on the ground. Reaching under it, both felt something.

“Got it!” Applebloom called out, pulling whatever they’d found loose with Pipsqueak’s help. Rumble, Bee Bop, and Snips came over, the former two putting their wings to work in clearing the fog. What they’d found was some kind of elaborate square wooden box, only a few inches tall but two feet across and a foot wide. Its surface was covered in indents in various sizes, eight in all.

“What kind of device be this?” Pipsquak asked, head tilting to the side, though his ears swiftly perked up when he locked eyes on the largest intent, perfect circle. “Belay that – I know! Hand me the lightning ball.” Bee Bop obligingly did, and Pipsqueak placed it into the indent, then pressed down slightly. They all heard a click.

“How Pinkie Pie isn’t part of some inventor’s guild, I’ll never know,” Maman Rusée said from where she sat. “She could make a fortune…”

The pirates barely heard her – they all started piling onto the box with the remaining keys, now that they could finally be used for their intended purpose. The The crystal key slid into the side. The wooden spoon's handle went into a circular hole. The feather's quill and the rose's stem both pressed down tiny, almost hidden buttons. The apple fit into a similar depression as the lightning ball, while the cup slid into a ring and needed to be turned clockwise. The lyre was applied to the underside of the box. Every key settled into place with comfortable clicks, and when the last one went in, the box’s upper half split open down the middle, and the pirates could slide it open.

Resting inside was a single iron key – a proper key. Pipsqueak snatched it up quickly and ran over to the treasure chest, and found that it fit the lock perfectly. The pirates all let out shouts of encouragement and glee as the lock fell away from the treasure chest, and Snips’ horn glowed brighter than ever as Pipsqueak proudly threw open the chest…

…and revealed, inside, nothing more than rocks. Plain old rocks.

“BLOODY F – !” Pipsqueak exclaimed, and proceeded to go on for some time.

“Pipsqueak!” Maman Rusée exclaimed. Her horn flashed, and all the illusions in Trixie’s basement disappeared as Trixie came up to the cursing foal. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…well, I am an adult and I really can’t let you just swear like that!”

Pipsqueak turned on Trixie, looking like he was ready to lay into her, but then Rumble let out a shout. He and Applebloom had gone to the chest and started digging through the rocks. Turning to look, Pipsqueak saw that Rumble had dug out a study-looking bottle, in which was a rolled up sheet of paper.

Pipsqueak started forward, ready to break open the bottle, but Snips got to it first and used his telekinesis to fish out the paper without breaking anything. Unfolding it, the pirates found themselves looking at a complete map of Ponyville and its environs – and a red X near Whitetail Wood. Specifically, near the Castle Tree.

“You’re almost there!” A note at the map’s edge read. “The real treasure is right here! Pinkie Promise! – Espada Noche”

“…wait, but wasn’t that Neigh Orleans?” Applebloom asked. “Yeah, over the summer – that’s where we played attack-the-fort, an’ the Castle Tree was Neigh Orleans an’ Dinky an’ her team lost.”

“Of course!” Snips laughed, pointing at the map. “Why couldn’t any pirate ever find Espada Noche’s treasure in the Thousand Isles? ‘Cause he didn’t hide it in the Thousand Isles – he hid it in Neigh Orleans! But why didn’t Pinkie just show that on the original map…?”

“…oh, duh,” Bee Bop said, surprisingly quietly for her. She smiled and fluttered her wings as she looked to her fellow crewmates, and went back up to her normal volume. “Diamond Tiara just skipped to the end and get the treasure, and any crew with her part of the map could have. But there’s no way that Pinkie would have ever just let one crew skip the entire game like that!”

“Although that’s something that you all did,” Trixie noted, picking up the discarded box in her telekinesis and looking over how the keys fit into it. “This was clearly meant to be opened by all you foals all at once. You know, in friendship.”

“Ha!” Pipsqueak exclaimed, and grinned. “Just goes t’ show why it is that Espada Noche was caught! Pirates don’t make friends with other crews!”

“Wait, but Ah’m friends with Twist and Sweetie and Scootaloo,” Applebloom objected.

“Yeah, and Snails is my best friend!” Snips pointed out. “And Firelock and Alula are pretty cool too.”

“I’m definitely friends with Featherweight and Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara,” Rumble added.

“And I’m friends with Truffle Shuffle!” Bee Bop finished. “And Tootsie’s been hanging out a lot as well.”

Pipsqueak looked at the rest of his crew, clearly wondering if now, so close to the end, their resolve was wavering. “What ye do durin’ shore leave be your own business!” he proclaimed. “But right now, we’re in a race for the treasure of Espada Noche! Them all be our enemies!”

“Even Dinky?” Rumble asked. “You and her hang out every recess – ”

“There be no fraternizin’ between crews on the high seas!” Pipsqueak insisted. “Maybe I knock back a glass o’ rum durin’ shore leave with Cap’n Dinky. But she’s our enemy! They all be the enemy, and it’s time we get a move on to the treasure! It be practically in our hooves already!”

Pipsqueak turned on Trixie. “Ye’ve been of great help, Maman Rusée, but it’s time me crew and I get goin’. I’ll be havin’ yer word of honor in the form of a Pinkie Promise that you’ll no be tellin’ any other crew where we be headin’!”

Trixie crossed her hooves, considering, before grinning down at Pipsqueak. “No,” she said. “Fair’s fair, you’re taking the map to the treasure. They have to have some way of catching up.”

The Pirate King growled an reached for his cutlass, which caused Trixie to raise one brow. Before anything could happen, however, Rumble put a hoof on Pipsqueak’s withers. “We’re in a rush and don’t have time to convince her,” he said. “We need to get a move on while we still have a lead.”

Pipsqueak glared at his first mate, but relented with a nod as he rolled up the treasure map and stuffed it into his jacket pocket. “Cast off!” He called to his crew, heading for the stairs. “We’re goin’ back to where our little tête-à-tête with Cap’n Dinky all began! To Neigh Orleans!”





The pirate crew all piled into the jolly-boat and were brought back to their ship. Once out from the confines of the Unseen Isle and the mists that surrounded it, they spoke in hushed tones as whispers, and guided the Hispaniola as quietly from the shores of the Isle and out into the sea as possible, not wanting the lookouts of other crews to find them.

But they failed, for the moment the Hispaniola lost sight of the Unseen Isle’s docks, a particularly thick patch of mist passed over them…and suddenly standing there were three ponies dressed snout to croup in black, save for around their eyes and, in the case of two of them, their horns. One had a ninja-to across her back, the second a pair of short butterfly swords, while the third instead had heavy metal braces about his front fetlocks.

The three shinobi had heard the initial conversation between the pirates and Maman Rusée, but nothing of import before the pirates and the witch had ventured beneath the domicile. They briefly considered giving chase, using their ninja powers to catch up to the still-near ship, but they needed to know where it was going so that they could inform their comrades-in-arms elsewhere.

So instead, the two unicorns combined their powers into a great jutsu that launched sparkling green and purple light into the sky to alert the lookouts of their comrades’ ships. Then the three slipped into the home of Maman Rusée. Owls could not glide and mice could not scurry as silently as the three moved, darting from shadow to shadow, unseen in the blackness, one with the very darkness itself – 

“Oh, hey guys.”

The ninja froze, and saw Maman Rusée’s zombi looking out from within a room containing a pair of desks, a bookcase, and a broken window. The alive-yet-dead stallion waved at them.

In an instant, the ninja were on the attack. The zombi let out a yelp as he was grabbed in the telekinetic auras of the two unicorn ninjas, held in place while the third, an earth pony, charged right at him. The unicorns let go just as the earth pony collided with him, forcing him backwards on onto his back. Then he sat down atop the zombi, metal-clad hoof held back to strike.

“Tell us where the pirates went!” The earth pony demanded.

“It’s no good, Truffle,” one of the unicorn ninjas said as she appeared alongside her compatriot, striking a pose. “He’s just a zombi. He can’t tell us anything.”

“But he’ll blab to Maman Rusée!” The other unicorn said as she appeared on the other side of the earth pony, taking up a pose of her own to channel her ki. She paused and dropped the pose after a moment. “Although I guess we have to go and talk to her anyway to figure out where Pipsqueak went.”

The zombi looked between the two filly ninjas, then to the colt that was still sitting atop his chest. “You three ever think that maybe you get a little too into your games?”

The ninjas looked to the zombi, then at the ninja on top of him. Truffle Shuffle realized his mistake. “Oops! Sorry,” he said, hopping off of Pokey Pierce and allowing him to get back up. “And…yeah, sometimes, I guess. Not as much as Pipsqueak, though. Sorry for knocking you over, Mister Pierce.”

The stallion shrugged, even as Trixie made her way back into the office. “Zut alors, they are going to find that colt in pieces…” she paused at the door, looking at the three black-clothed foals, Sweetie Bell with a long stick in a makeshift sheath across her back, Tootsie Flute with two smaller sticks, and Truffle Shuffle with his forehooves wrapped in extra layers of silver-colored cloth. 

Trixie squinted at Sweetie in particular. “Your cutie mark will not be in home invasion and this isn’t how you go about invading homes anyway, you should do it at night when everypony is asleep, or preferably when they’re not even home. I would have thought Cheerilee, at least, could have taught you that.”

Sweetie giggled as she pulled down her mask. “I know! We’re ninjas.”

Trixie blinked. “What’s a ‘ninja’?”

“It’s a kind of spice,” Pokey said.

“That’s ginger,” Truffle objected.

“Ninjas are entire clans of spies and assassins,” Tootsie Flute said, pulling down her own mask as she looked at Trixie. “Or at least that’s what some of the comic books me and Truffle read say. They’re from Shouma. They have weird powers and are really stealthy!”

“Also they’re an ancient enemy of pirates!” Sweetie Belle provided.

“Why?” Trixie asked.

The three foals looked between each other, then to Pokey for help. He just shrugged, and looked to Trixie. Trixie glanced behind her, but saw nopony there to ask for help herself. She let out a groan. “Should I be getting into character again?” she asked, rubbing her horn. “I kind of went overboard on the illusions for Pipsqueak, there were a lot of moving parts and I kind of put it together on the fly…”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to conjure up anything,” Tootsie said. Then in an instant she had drawn her butterfly knives from her back, and had the deadly weapons at the zombi’s throat. “Now tell us what we want to know, or we’ll cut up your zombi.”

Maman Rusée laughed. “So’s Ah’ll stich him back together! Word of advice, shâ, you wanna take a hostage, take one that ain’t already dead.”

“Grrrr. Arrrrgh,” the zombi said.

The other unicorn shinobi drew her ninja-to, and pointed it at Maman Rusée. “We can’t leave here without the information we seek. We have a debt of honor to the crews of the Rosedust and Diamond Tiara.” Sweetie clutched a hoof to her chest. “I acted dishonorably and betrayed their trust! And it’s my fault that Captain Pipsqueak and his crew got their hooves on the keys to the treasure. I have to make things right!”

The witch only laughed again, one hoof to her mouth. “Well, as it happens Ah’m willin’ t’ tell y’all…but there’ll be a price! Ah took pity on Captain Pipsqueak, but Ah don’t feel much pity for your own troubles. So Ah’ll want y’all to – ”

SLAM

The zombi, witch, and even the three ninja all jumped at the sound, and as one rushed out into the main hallway of Maman Rusée’s home, where the noise had come from. They were treated to the sight of the silhouette of two ponies. One was a pink earth pony, dressed in the finest, cleanest naval uniform that the Royal Navy had ever issued. Captain Diamond Tiara looked angry.

But next to her was the sun-scorched definition of fury. The gray unicorn was somewhat more haggard-looking, wearing the tattered remains of an Equestrian Army uniform along with bits and pieces of other clothing, cobbled together after a life of rough living that had been forced upon her. A life of rough living that had seemed at its end, if only she could have gotten her hooves upon the treasure of Espada Noche. But at the last moment, Pipsqueak the Pirate King had snatched that all away, and worse, made a fool out of her.

Captain Dinky had slammed open the door to Maman Rusée’s home. She had once gone without a weapon, but now a sharp, heavy cutlass hovered in her telekinesis as she walked right up to Maman Rusée. She kept the blade pointed backwards, away from the witch, but a single twitch could easily fix that. Her yellow eyes were locked with Maman Rusée’s purple ones.

“Where. Did. Pipqueak. Go.” Captain Dinky demanded. There was a slight crack as her telekinesis aura flared up just a bit, an her cutlass developed a crack along its pommel.

“You better tell her,” Diamond Tiara added. “You better tell me. I’ve invested too much time into getting that treasure to not win it now.”

“Hang the treasure!” Dinky exclaimed. “I want Pipsqueak.”

Maman Rusée blinked. “Neigh Orleans,” she said. “The treasure chest had rocks and a map. The real treasure’s in Neigh Orleans. The Castle Tree. Whatever.”

Dinky’s eyes grew wide and her body rigid for just a moment. Then she spun about on her hooves. “Scootaloo! Set course for Neigh Orleans!”

Diamond Tiara was a moment behind Dinky. The three ninja looked to the witch and her zombi. “Arigatou!” Truffle Shuffle said with a bow, then took off after the sailing vessels, Tootsie Flute and Sweetie Belle following.

“…yeah, you better run,” Trixie mumbled under her breath. Pokey laughed.