Previously on: The War on the Impossible!
***
“But if they see those notes about the planet going around the sun, they might punish Twilight!”
“Not if they think Twilight's studies kin be put t'good use.”
“But how? All she does is disprove stuff. How would that be valuable?”
***
“We've brought you in for a very special mission. At the moment, you will not be supplied paper until we deem your research under control."
***
“Although unspecified confinement is technically legal by executive decree.”
"Which reminds me, there's that Griffon king who wants you to close Saguaro Bay."
"We're... uh... totally working on that. Definitely. But I think that will be the least of his worries in a few minutes."
***
“We would like you to complete most of a theorem that proves that griffons cannot exist. Do not write the final line, and do not make any other conclusions.”
"That's... not really how proofs work, Princess."
"They do in this universe! Now shut up and get writing."
***
“Your Agent Logos can disprove cloudwalking?”
“Agent Logos can disprove quite a lot of things.”
***
"Pinkie, it's such a lovely-- oh no! Ninjas!"
"We have reason to believe you are Agent Logos! Prepare to die!"
"And the plural of ninja is ninja, not ninjas, baka!"
***
“When the minotaurs developed steel before us, was that unfair? When the Homin developed the atomic bomb, was that unfair? Twilight's theories are weapons. That is all. Now, help me with this treaty for the dragons.”
***
And now, the conclusion.
***
***
With the help of the theories of Agent Logos, Equestria had expanded its borders and entered a new age of wealth and power. Trading increased between far-off nations, resulting in a technological boom. Despite the tenseness of the political atmosphere, many of the citizens of these foreign nations were glad to intermingle with the ponies of Equestria. Equestria had taken control of every continent, every island on the entire planet.
All, that is, except for one.
"I don't believe I heard correctly," said Celestia. "Did you say you were refusing to accept our treaty?"
"That's right," said Thorn, the leader of the Halkans. "We will not be swayed by your threats. We Halkans have lived on this island for millenia upon millenia, before even the first--"
"That's great and all, but we are literally about to wipe you out of existence." Luna groaned and gestured to the treaty. "This treaty is not horrid, good Thorn. You will maintain local sovereignty, you will hold on to 95% of your natural resources, and you will be free to live anywhere within the Equestrian Principality."
"Nevertheless, it is that 5% on which we refuse to budge," said Thorn again. "We will not give up control of our island."
"Very well." Celestia rolled up the treaty and returned it to the tube. "I would tell you to prepare for destruction, but when we're through, you won't even be a memory."
As they left the meeting room, Luna looked to Celestia uncertainly. "Are you really going to go through with this?"
"A rule for politics, and in all things: never point a loaded gun at someone unless you intend to fire it." That phrase wouldn't have made much sense before they'd met the Kazkiryu and discovered gunpowder, but that was besides the point. "I gave them a chance." Once they were both out at the chariot, Celestia nodded to one of her pegasus guards. "Send the order to Agent Logos."
***
The message went out over every television station in Equestria. "Today is a momentous day in history. Today, by the power of me, Luna, and Agent Logos, we have successfully unified the entire planet under one flag! We are now Equestria, the Global Principality!"
Everypony in the bar cheered, save for Twilight. As Celestia went on explaining how today would be known as Unification Day, how the flag would change to account for this incredible achievement, and various other bureaucratic minutiae, Twilight unfolded a piece of paper in one of her pockets. It bore a picture of the Honorable High Holy Thorn, an ugly red X over his head, and the word "TERMINATE" written beneath it in what looked disconcertingly like blood. She had done it. She was to blame. A million miles away, safe in her chamber in Canterlot, she had written a proof that had not just killed him, but had erased him utterly from the universe. No amount of speeches or celebrations could make her feel better about it. What she had done was wrong.
...It was wrong. And something had to be done.
She made her excuses to her friends, got into her car, and drove home. Once home, she locked herself into her room, turned off all the lights save for a single overhead lamp, and clicked a ballpoint pen into action. She swept everything off of her desk and set a stack of papers before her. With shaking hooves, she put words to the page. "Abstract: In this paper, I will attempt to prove that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are impossible."
***
"Thank you all for coming," said Celestia. "This meeting of the world leaders will be valuable to help us construct our new nation."
Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight were all sitting up front before everyone, like the empresses that they were. This meeting had been called on the heels of the Unification Day celebrations, and every leader seemed to be in a good mood. Or maybe they were just doing a good job of hiding their hangovers from the other leaders. In any case, they were all talking amongst themselves and not giving much notice to Twilight, who pulled out a single sheet of paper from one of her saddlebags. It was the very end of her proof, not quite complete, but ready to fired at a moment's notice. Cadance, who was sitting next to her, leaned over and asked, "What is that, exactly?"
"Just some notes," Twilight said. She scribbled idly on the margins before subtly moving to the main body of the paper and continuing with the proof. If Celestia or Luna were aware of what was going on, they didn't seem to notice. Once the proof was complete, however, Twilight leaned over to Cadance and said, "You know, I've just thought of something. Where did Celestia and Luna come from?"
"I... don't understand your question," said Cadance. "They're timeless beings, aren't they? They were born with the sun and moon."
"But that doesn't make any sense. Ponies aren't just born out of the ether. What I'm saying is--"
"No... no, you mustn't..." Cadance said, her eyes wide.
"They're impossible," Twilight concluded.
The air resonated with a massive thunderclap. One, two, and then it felt as though the fabric of the universe was dissolving. Celestia and Luna looked up from their conversation, then turned to their forehooves. To their horror, the ends of their hooves were unraveling into nothingness. The room shook as though in an earthquake, and the very color in the world seemed to drain. Celestia stared at Twilight, and her eyes seemed to say, "How could you have done this?" Then they, too, unraveled, along with her face, horn, and mane. Celestia and Luna were gone.
Twilight looked at her own hooves. This she had wrought... and it was good. It was deserved punishment. Suddenly, she understood the power she wielded, and it went to her head like a really strong liquor. She pushed her chair to the side and stepped up to where the two Princesses had been before. "Hello, everyone," she said. "You all know me as Twilight Sparkle, but you also know me by another name. I am Agent Logos, and I am untouchable."
The crowd broke out into an uproar, but Twilight -- no, Agent Logos -- grinned and went on. "It seems that, with my latest proof, I've created a power vacuum. Luckily, since I'm a Princess, I'm happy to fill it. And I believe you all know the punishment if you do not accept my sovereignty." She gestured widely with her hooves and wings. "To hurt me is impossible. To rebel against me is impossible. To dare to think one word counter to my power is impossible. Such shall it be in my new dominion. Now, go back to your little holes and await my further judgment."
The leaders shouted and cried and feared, but there was nothing they could do. They had seen what power Logos wielded: omnipotent, unavoidable, and swift. Only Cadance spoke against her. "Please, Twilight. You must have mercy. This is insanity!"
Logos' stare bore holes into Cadance. But then she laughed. "I think not. You see... mercy is impossible."