7. Treachery on the High Seas
The Hispaniola cut through the roughening seas of the Thousand Islands with little effort, the large ship-of-the-line scarcely noticing the cresting waves that seemed almost to part before her rather than challenge her progress. Captain Pipsqueak used his spy-glass to gaze out across the Thousand Islands, trying to set his sights on their next goal. Yet his mind was elsewhere.
A full crew? What had the Sorceress of the Atoll meant by that? He had Rumble, Snips, Bee Bop and Applebloom, all able-bodied ponies fully capable of crewing the Hispaniola, large ship though she may be. What more did he need? Sure, additional hooves to swab the deck or help carry out raids would always be useful, but he still had a full crew. And what had the Sorceress meant, that the other two crews were no longer playing fair…?
One of those crew members, Snips, came up to Pipsqueak. “Um…by the way…” he said. “About what happened, back at the library…sorry.” Snips was shuffling his sailor’s bandana around in his hooves. “It’s just that Twilight’s spells were fun!”
“Yeah!” Bee Bop called. “And we got the key after all, right?” She held up the blank book. “I mean…we don’t know how we’re supposed to use it yet…but we got it!”
Pipsqueak removed the spy-glass from his eye, turning to face his crew. “The Sorceress of the Atoll,” he said, “cursed ye to act like fools. But because of that, we’ve lost valuable time! We don’t know how far Rosedust’s crew be in their own quest, and there be Diamond Tiara and her do-gooders to consider as well! We need to get our third key, then try and figure out how to get the keys from those other sea-dogs!”
“We can’t steal them,” Rumble said.
Pipsqueak whirled on Rumble, cutlass in mouth. “Be ye questionin’ my authority again, first mate? ‘Twas I what found the Apple Key!”
Rumble’s eyes narrowed, as he raised a hoof and pushed Pipsqueak’s blade away. “But I figured out almost all the riddles at the library, and you didn’t figure out any. But no, that’s not what I mean. I mean if we can’t steal each others’ maps then we can’t steal each others’ keys. It wouldn’t be fair.”
Pipsqueak’s face scrunched up as he considered that. The smell of salt air left his nostrils, the sound of waves and gulls was replaced by the sounds of a landlocked town far from open water, and the rocking of the ship became the rocking of a cart. “I mean…okay, yeah,” he said, looking away and sighing. He’d really felt for a moment like he was back on the ocean. “But then how else are we supposed to get all the keys we need first? If each team just gets three keys then it’s a stalemate and there’s no winners. So we have to find a way to get their keys. It’s not like we can just ask…”
He trailed off a moment at that, and the memory of the Sorceress telling them all that the other crews weren’t playing fair anymore. Not playing fair? Well, no one could fight dirtier than a pirate – and Pipsqueak was the King of the Pirates. He brightened, grinning wickedly. The sea swelled and an albatross crowed and the wind whipped at the black flag overhead. “Or maybe we can ask ‘em…”
He started chuckling, then quickly transitioned into a full-on laugh of a pirate king with a brilliant scheme. His crewmates joined in, and after a moment, so did the figurehead at the fore of his ship. “Wait, I don’t get it,” Rumble said after a moment, stopping laughing. The others’ laughter died down as well when they realized they didn’t know what was going on.
And that’s why I’m the captain, Pipsqueak thought, and laughed harder and rubbed his hooves together. Because I know how to be a proper pirate.
Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara’s jolly-boat pulled up to the dock of the small island with little issue. The local tender waved them by without seeking payment for their boat being tied up, for he could see their uniforms and their sense of purpose. To Silver Spoon’s mind, if not Diamond Tiara’s, the island was a fledgling outpost of Equestrian naval power. Equestria didn’t have much of a naval tradition – usually depending upon Cavallia to act on her behalf when the need arose – but in recent decades the upswing of pirate activity in Caballeria and the expansion of Zaldian trading posts had spurred Equestria into changing that. This island had been an ignored flyspeck in the Thousand Islands, but a few years of work had given it a harbor deep enough to moor galleons, and a fortress bristling with guns from which the harbor could be defended.
Silver Spoon suppressed a giggle to herself. Diamond Tiara would be so mad if she knew that she was getting into the game. It wasn’t her fault, though, that her daddy had just made her read a book on the expanding Equestrian oceanic trade. Silver Spoon didn’t care at all for pirates, and considered the navies and merchant marines of rival nations only barely a step above them. But she did like looking at maps and seeing distant lands shaded with Equestria’s traditional color of navy blue. She did like the idea of fortresses and trading posts protecting the shipping lanes so that valuable goods could be brought back to Equestria. Projecting power, her daddy had called it. Silver Spoon liked the sound of the term.
Plus, Silver Spoon was pretty sure she’d look good in an officer’s uniform. Especially an admiral’s one.
The two made their way from the dock and up to the fortress, the great gate and doors opening to admit them. Once inside, Diamond Tiara marched right up to the officer on duty and looked him square in the eye. “My daddy,” she said, “is the biggest landowner in town and a member of the town council. So if there’s a key for this stupid treasure hunt here, give it to me!”
Silver Spoon resisted the urge to sigh at the break in character. The officer on duty, meanwhile, simply opened a door behind him and leaned in. “Your open appointment is here, Lady Mayor.”
“Send them in,” a voice beyond the door called. The two fillies walked into the office of the Lady Mayor of the island, the officer on duty not closing it behind them but instead leaving it open. Silver Spoon saw a map on the wall showing the western Thousand Islands, a globe of the world underneath it, a bookcase full of books on law and trade and military matters. Behind the Lady Mayor’s desk was a large window that looked down at the docks and out to sea. And in actuality that was pretty close to what was actually there, save that the map was instead Ponyville and her environs, and the window looked out at the town.
The Lady Mayor of the Island was a beige-colored earth pony with silver hair – though Silver Spoon’s eyes spotted some pink at the roots – wearing the uniform of the Equestrian Army, cut in the same style as its naval uniform but colored red instead of blue. She was sitting behind her desk with her hooves in front of her, looking at Diamond Tiara as she entered. “Would you believe,” she said, “that I predicted word for word what you were going to say when you arrived?”
“Yes,” Silver Spoon said. Diamond Tiara glared at her friend, who shrugged helplessly. “Ivory Scroll is the mayor! She’s smart, she has to be.”
“Thank you, Silver Spoon,” the Lady Mayor said. “Now then, can I get you two anything? Tea? I heard you had some tea party issues earlier. Couldn’t get the taste right.”
Diamond Tiara finally looked away from Silver Spoon, only barely resisting the urge to back up a step in surprise. “How did you know that?”
“Oh, I have my ways, young miss,” the Lady Mayor responded. “I have eyes and ears all over this…” she looked at Silver Spoon for a moment, and cracked the faintest smile, “island, and across the seas. You’ll find there’s very little that happens in the Thousand Islands that – ”
“You asked my daddy,” Diamond Tiara interrupted, obviously annoyed at the nautical imagery. She glanced backwards at the guard officer on duty, still visible out the open door.
“Mother, actually, she stopped in for a chat while delivering some of your father’s recommended amendments to the telegraph bill.”
Diamond Tiara proceeded to enter into a staring contest with the Lady Mayor, each daring the other to make the first move. Silver Spoon took the moment to step forward, coughing into her hoof. “Lady Mayor,” she said, putting on her best formal voice. She stood up straight and proper. “We would like to formally request that you hoof over the key to Espada Noche’s treasure which is currently in your possession. As this is an Equestrian outpost and we are members of the Equestrian Royal Navy, it is your duty to provide us with it forthwith so that the treasure does not fall into the hooves of pirates.”
Diamond Tiara’s glare returned to Silver Spoon. “Spoony…!” She whined. “Come on, don’t you get started on this stupid game too!”
Silver Spoon looked to her friend. “Look, if you want this to end, then we have to play the game, right? If we don’t, then Mayor Ivory Scroll won’t ever tell us where she has her key. So we need to play along.”
The other filly fumed almost enough for her coat to change from pink to red, but after a moment she looked back to the Lady Mayor with a long sigh. “Yes, fine. All that stuff. We’re with the Equestrian Navy or whatever.”
The Lady Mayor looked between the two of them, then let out a sigh. “The things I do for Pinkie…” she mumbled, then shook her head and returned her attention to the matter at hoof. She glanced down at her desk, shuffling some notes she had. “Right, then. Ahem: I do indeed have the key, and I would certainly like to help two fine young officers of the Equestrian Navy. But I’m also cursed and can’t just hoof it over. You have to complete a challenge…that will no doubt be harder because of your missing crew members. Where are the others, anyway?”
“Hi Fizzy!”
“Oh, hello, Alula, hi Firel – oh Moon and Stars it’s Firelock.”
“Hi Mister Orange! What’s in the kegs?”
“Nothing flammable!”
“Really? ‘Cause it looks like whiskey kegs – ”
“They’re not! They’re, uh…look, here’s the Cup Key! You get it for not setting the place on fire!”
“We get it…for not doing something?”
“Yes!”
“Well, okay…thanks, Fizzy! Bye!”
“Bye, Mister Orange!”
“Okay! Bye! Oh thank goodness…wait who’s that – ”
“YOU PINKIE PROMISED.”
“…and now there’s this.”
“Getting the other keys,” Silver Spoon answered the Lady Mayor. “But what’s the challenge?
“Who cursed you?” Diamond Tiara asked instead. Silver Spoon and the Lady Mayor both looked at her in surprise, not expecting her to care. Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “It can’t have been Dread Kee-pac-whatever, she’s just a ghost. Espada Noche was hanged by the Caballerians a hundred years ago in this game. So who cursed you?”
“Does it matter?” The Lady Mayor asked, shifting a little like she was uncomfortable. “It was…you know, I can’t tell you. It’s part of the curse.”
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes again, in a much slower and more exaggerated fashion. Silver Spoon, meanwhile, looked back to the Lady Mayor. “So what’s the challenge?”
The Lady Mayor grinned. “First, you can’t move from where you are,” she said. “Second, you have to guess where it is in this room. You can ask me up to ten yes or no questions, which I’ll answer truthfully, to narrow it down. Go.”
“Why only ten?” Silver Spoon asked, head tilting to the side at so low a number. “Twenty’s more common, right? We should get twenty questions!”
“I’m not sure I could offer…oh, twelve total questions, Silver Spoon. This is supposed to be a challenge.” The Lady Mayor grinned as Diamond Tiara looked back to her.
“But we’re just two fillies, and we can’t even move around the room? That’s not fair. What about seventeen questions?”
“Thirteen total.”
“Fifteen?”
The Lady Mayor grinned slyly. “Alright, then. In the spirit of fairness, I’ll allow fifteen questions total…and I believe you used up five just negotiating to that. Ten questions left.”
Silver Spoon’s mouth dropped open, and her glasses slid down her muzzle. She pushed them back into place as she mentally counted all the questions she’d asked from when the Lady Mayor had said ‘go’, and felt like bucking her own flank for falling for such an obvious trap. At least it hadn’t left them worse off than when they’d started. She sighed, ears folding back as she looked at the floor. “Sorry, Deets…that’s my fault…”
Diamond Tiara paused a moment, glowering at the Lady Mayor, before sighing and bumping her muzzle against her friend’s neck, nuzzling her. “It’s fine, Spoony. Besides, I only need one question answered.”
“Wait, what?” The Lady Mayor and Silver Spoon asked at the same time.
Diamond Tiara grinned, standing up straighter and looking at the Lady Mayor. “You knew we were coming, Silver Spoon and me, specifically. You know me ‘cause you know my mommy and daddy, so you’d know exactly where the last place I’d look for a key is. But you also think that you’re smarter than us just ‘cause we’re foals and you’re an adult, which is why you didn’t think up who ‘cursed’ you, you didn’t think I’d ask.” She started pacing slowly, waving a hoof while holding her head high. “So a foal would think to look under the rug or in one of your desk drawers or hidden in a book or something. All the places a key should be hidden. But I’m not a little foal, I have my cutie mark, my special talent is accessorizing, I know what goes with what and I know when something is out of place…” she stopped pacing, and pointed to the still-open room door. “And that should be closed if we’re in a meeting! The only reason to leave it open is if something is hidden in it – in the last place you think a foal would look for a key – in a keyhole!”
Diamond Tiara marched up to the door and pushed it closed – showing to everypony in the room that, in its inner keyhole, there was a black feather pen. She plucked it out with her teeth and chewed on the quill thoughtfully, looking at the Lady Mayor pointedly. “So my one question is: am I right?”
The Lady Mayor took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, once more placing her hooves together before her on the table. “Yes,” she said. “Well played, Diamond Tiara. I pity the mayor who’s going to have to deal with you when you take your father’s place on the town council.”
“Hmph,” Diamond Tiara intoned. She took the feather from her mouth, looked it over, then came back over to Silver Spoon and passed it to her. “Here. Black doesn’t go with my coat.”
Silver Spoon looked at the quill in her hooves, then back up to Diamond Tiara. “That was amazing!” She informed her captain.
Diamond Tiara, of course, swelled with pride. “When you’re captain you have to know these sorts of things, you know…” she drifted off for a moment, then whickered in annoyance. “I mean, my daddy taught me to pay attention to the little stuff.” She took the quill from Silver Spoon and reached up to her mane, sticking her tongue into her teeth for a moment as she wove the feather into place so that it would hang fashionably within Silver Spoon’s locks. “There, now we won’t lose it.”
The silver filly smiled. “Right!” Diamond Tiara turned around and headed off without another glance at the Lady Mayor, who if anything looked relieved at the end of the meeting. Silver Spoon couldn’t stop herself from giving a short, curt bow instead in the Equestrian Naval tradition, but quickly turned around and fell into step alongside Diamond Tiara.
The two paused outside of the Equestrian fortress, scanning the skies. “No smoke,” Diamond Tiara said, speaking for both of them, “so that probably means Firelock didn’t set anything on fire. Let’s meet up at Sugarcube Corner and figure out how we’re going to get those other keys.”
They made their way back to the jolly-boat – in Silver Spoon’s eyes, anyway, though she was starting to suspect that Diamond Tiara was beginning to get into the spirit of things in spite of herself – and set out to sea to rendezvous with the Diamond Tiara. They’d meet up, make a plan, seize the treasure for Equestria…and wipe the pirates from the seas!
Rosedust put in to port with her usual grace – full breakneck speed with all her sails unfurled until the last minute, causing the ship to careen up to the dock at a frankly ludicrous speed that only wasn’t a disaster by dint of Rosedust’s shallow draft allowing her to avoid beaching herself. Every crewmember held on for dear life lest they be hurled overboard.
“Scootaloo…” Dinky moaned as she straightened herself out, adjusting her captain’s hat. “Be careful!”
Scootaloo looked back to Dinky. “I was being careful! C’mon, when was the last time I crashed into anything?”
“Yesterday,” Featherweight provided. He turned his head slightly to the left and pointed. “Right there.”
Some of the foals saw a dented wall, some of them saw grooves in a sandy beach leading up to knocked-over palm trees. Either way they saw signs of disaster. “Eh, nopony was hurt,” Scootaloo responded eventually, waving her hoof. “Now c’mon! This is our last key!”
The crew of the Rosedust disembarked and went ashore. This particular isle of the Thousand Islands took the form of a vast set of plantations growing cotton and workshops to turn that cotton into pillows, lumber yards to build frames, and birds of every description who’s shorter molted feathers could provide the stuffing for pillows and longer or more ornate feathers could be sold off as quills. The five foals imagined themselves passing by several fields full of ponies hard at work tending their crops or birds, or copses of trees being cleared.
Or they went in through the front door of Quills and Sofas, but that was less fun.
Eventually, they came into the town itself, and went straight to the governor’s mansion, being let in by servant ponies. Being a rough-looking band of renegades, they of course caught the attention of the Governor of the island, who came over to meet them. “Well, then!” He called. “What have we here?”
“Hi, mister Davenport!” Snails said.
“Governor Davenport,” Dinky corrected.
Governor Davenport – a brown-coated earthy pony stallion, in a smart blue jacket and with a finely coiffed, slicked-back mane – grinned broadly, rubbing one hoof against his coat. “Governor?” He asked. “But I thought you were all renegades from the Equestrian Army. That’s what Sparkler told me, anyway. Shouldn’t that mean that I, as Governor, should put you under arrest?”
The five foals’ eyes all grew wide as they glanced to one another, bunching up a little. Featherweight swallowed. “Um…but you’re not going to, are you? It wasn’t our fault, what happened in Neigh Orleans! We fought against the pirates really hard!”
“Ah, but rules are rules, aren’t they?” The Governor asked. He searched through his jacket pockets for a moment, before pulling out a piece of paper that had Pinkie’s cutie mark drawn on it. “Yes, let me see…fought against the pirates, but failed and let Neigh Orleans get sacked. Some in the Royal Court even wonder if you helped conspire with the Pirate King. After all, there is no way that the main port of Equestria, as well-defended as it was, should have fallen to mere pirates.”
“It’s all Pipsqueak’s fault!” Dinky exclaimed, stomping a hoof. “He’s…he’s really smart! He outflanked us. Had a hidden force come up from behind the fort, made us use up all our ammunition!”
“Oh, I see,” the Governor said with a laugh. “Well, of course, not seeing such a trick coming and failing to stop it excuses everything. And are you sure you didn’t just throw your lot in with him afterwards? You look like a bunch of scallywags and ne’er-do-wells. Guards!”
The foals all leaped in surprise when, seemingly from nowhere, a pair of earth ponies in uniforms appeared on either side of the renegade crew, seeming to be trying to out-do each other in looking surly. Dinky, Featherweight, Snails, and Twist all found themselves competing for space hiding behind Scootaloo, who for her part only stood up taller and glared at either earth pony, daring them to lay a hoof on her fellow crewmates.
Before they could, however, the Governor lifted a hoof. The guards backed down. “But as it happens…” he said, “I could in fact use the help of a bunch of renegades come to my shores. There’s an issue that needs resolving…and you might even be able to get one of those keys I know you’re after out of it.”
The renegades all looked to one another, before Twist glanced back to the Governor. “All we have to do is make it to the other thide – side, right? That’th what the…that’s what the map said.”
The Governor grinned. “Yes…but it won’t be as simple as you think. Come with me!” He turned, and lead them out from his town and across the island, his guards – well, employees – in tow. The small herd made its way across the island, out past its cotton fields and lumber yards and through the forest that covered the island itself. It wasn’t long before they came across a cliff face – the back of the store – split open by a cave’s yawning mouth. The cave had been sealed up by an ornate door, but by pulling a lever the Governor caused the door to open slowly and menacingly. Inside, the cave was as dark as could be, and silent as a tomb…
“Dad? Is that my cue?”
At least until a voice called out from it.
“Hi Lyra!” Snails called down into the cave, recognizing the voice.
“Hi Snails!” Lyra called back up from somewhere in the cave’s depths.
The Governor groaned, running a hoof across his face, and stuck his head into the cave. “Lyra, honey, Pinkie Pie was kind of vague about how in-character I’m supposed to remain with that Pinkie Promise, and you know how she gets – ”
“Is the tapioca really necessary?! Is this even tapioca?! What is this?!”
“YOU PINKIE PROMISED.”
“Berry…!”
“Sorry, Fizzy, but you did. It’s out of my hooves.”
“ – so try and just go along with things, okay?”
“Okay…”
The Governor cleared his throat, pulling out and double-checking his card again, before looking back to the renegades. “Right. This here cave contains a terrible monster…a siren! And she’s guarding the key you need. She’s also guarding stolen treasure that my little island needs. If you five can get past the siren and bring back the treasure, then you can also keep the key.”
The five looked to each other, before Scootaloo smiled, tapping her front hooves together forcefully. “So all we have to do is beat up a siren?” She grinned. “I bet I can take on a siren!”
“My momma did,” Dinky said, nodding in agreement.
“So did my big sister,” Snails said with a smile.
“No they didn’t!” The ‘siren’ called out from the cave. “I dealt with the sirens! Sirens! Plural! There were three of them! What are Ditzy and Raindrops telling you two? I’d expect this sort of thing from Trixie, but…”
“Stay in character, honey,” the Governor called down.
“I am in character! My character’s feelings at the moment just happen to mirror my own.”
The Equestrian renegades giggled, or four of them did. Twist was instead adjusting her glasses, looking lost in thought as she glanced between the cave and the Governor. “What is it?” Dinky asked.
Twist looked at the Governor again, then back to Dinky. “I’ll tell you in the cave,” she said. “It’th a thecret.”
Dinky’s head tilted slightly at that, but after a moment she nodded, then turned to the cave. “Well, then, let’s get down there! You hear that, Miss Siren? We’re coming for you!”
“Bring it!”
The five Equestrian renegades began their descent into the cave. It was dark, although Snails and Dinky’s horns lit up to provide light. The cave had a series of steps leading down into its bowels; once they’d reached the bottom, Dinky and Snails lit up their horns brighter, and revealed a vast, waterlogged chamber. The bottom of the cave was covered with deep water – in the form of a layer of pillows and cushions – that all led up to an island at the far end upon which sat two treasure chests, both unlocked.
As the foals watched, the water, previously completely still, rippled…and then from it rose the siren, a seafoam-green creature with a frill of white and golden flecks across the scales that covered her body. Where her upper body was basically pony-like in shape, her lower body was instead a fish’s tail. And when she smiled, it was with a mouth full of sharp, needle-like teeth. Atop her forehead was a unicorn-like horn.
“Hey,” she said casually, the foals not at all seeing Lyra Heartstrings with her back half buried amongst blue pillows. “I’m the siren. Call me…huh, you know, I don’t think I ever got any of their names…”
Scootaloo grinned as she walked right up to the edge of the water. “It doesn’t matter, siren! ‘Cause there’s no way you’ll be able to stop all of us. It’s five-on-one.”
The siren looked between each of them, adjusting her position in the water so that she was lying on it, like one might lie down on a bunch of pillows. She tapped a hoof to her mouth. “Five-on-one is a lot…” she noted, stretching. “And I just ate. All those islanders up there coming down for the treasure. There is a lot of it…” she waved a hoof casually back at the treasure chests. “So every now and then an islander comes down trying to get to it.” She licked her teeth.
Twist stepped up to the edge of the water and looked at the two treasure chests behind the siren. “Which one hath the key?” She asked. “I bet that’th the challenge, right? We have to gueth?”
The siren grinned, but also shook her head. “Oh, no, not at all,” she said. She slid backwards in the water – letting out a slight whine as she did from moving from her comfortable position – and touched a hoof to one treasure chest. “This one has the key you’re seeking.” She opened the chest and pulled out a small, ornate lyre from it, sized for foals. “See? The lyre key.” She placed it back into the chest, though she left the chest open, then swam over and opened up the other chest. “And in here…”
The foals all gasped at what was revealed, though none more than Twist. The chest was full to bursting with treasure…or what foals would consider treasure, anyway. That meant sweets. There were gumdrops and gummies, jawbreakers and mints, licorice and candy floss and an entire dental emergency more. And, of course, liberally sprinkled throughout was chocolate coins in silver and copper wrappers.
The siren swam off a little ways, leaving a clear path to the treasure, her fish-tail swishing the water lazily. “Come on in, the water’s fine…” she sang. “I won’t bite. Like I said, I’m not very hungry right now. I’m even feeling pretty helpful. Look…” She extended a hoof, pointing to a feature that none of the foals had noticed. Behind the two chests was a set of rough-hewn stone stairs leading up. “It’s another way out of this cave, leads to another exit. I bet the Governor doesn’t even know about it, since ponies don’t normally return from a trip down here. Your lucky day…”
“And what’s the challenge?” Featherweight asked, wings buzzing slightly. “There has to be a challenge, right?”
“Naaaah, not feeling it,” the siren intoned, lying back down in the water and folding it around her not unlike a bunch of pillows. Siren magic was potent. “No challenge.”
The five Equestrian renegades looked between each other. Twist had a huge grin on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. “Guyth,” she said in a low whisper, stepping up to the other four, “thith ith the betht!”
“I’ll say,” Snails said. “We don’t even have to do anything.”
“No, it’th even better!” Twist said. “Think about it. We can get the key…and the town’th treathure! We can uthe that way out.” She pointed at the other set of stairs. “That way even if Pipthqueak or Diamond Tiara beatth uth, we thtill get treathure! All that candy!”
Scootaloo brightened, grinning wickedly, while Snails and Dinky both blanched. “But we said we’d bring back the town’s treasure,” Dinky countered.
“No we didn’t,” Scootaloo said. “We were told to do it…but nopony ever actually promised we would!”
Dinky opened her mouth to argue the point, but then closed it when she realized that Scootaloo was right. They had not, in fact, promised the Governor anything, he had merely threatened to arrest them, then brought them to the cave instead. And expected them to fight a siren for him…
“We didn’t say it,” Snails said, brow furrowing as he thought, “but that doesn’t matter. It was, um…said without saying it.”
“That doethn’t make thenthe,” Twist objected. “And the Governor wath mean to uth! He threatened uth with aretht!”
“Because he thought we were pirates,” Snails said. “But we’re not.”
“I mean…” Featherweight spoke up, glancing between the other four foals. Scootaloo was next to Twist, while Dinky and Snails had bunched up closer together as well. The other four looked at him, and he offered a shrug. “We sort of are. We’ve got us a map that leads us to a hidden box that’s buried deep away, and we’re sailing the seas…we sure sound like pirates.”
Dinky fidgeted, glancing over and across the water again. There was a lot of treasure over there, and the key they needed. And Pipsqueak was Pirate King, he was deceitful and clever and smart and maybe a little dashing if Dinky was being completely honest. If there was a way for him to win the race for Espada Noche’s treasure, he’d find it…and Dinky wasn’t entirely certain that she could outsmart him. Plus Diamond Tiara was involved now too, and she was domineering, rich, powerful, and above all else determined…and, Dinky realized, neither she nor Pipsqueak had ever figured out what to do for the third-place winner of the race for the treasure. The first-place got two-thirds, the second-place got one-third, but that was back when Dinky and Pipsqueak had thought there was only the two of their crews. Diamond Tiara getting involved…would third place get nothing?
Well, probably not; Dinky knew her friends well enough to know that, as she scratched at an itch on her flank. But the third-place crew would be left having to beg for treasure from the first and second place crews…
She felt a hoof on her withers. Glancing, she saw it was Snails, who was looking at her with a sort of certainty that she’d never really seen from him before. “It’s not right,” he said.
Dinky stared back a moment, before nodding, looking back to Twist and Scootaloo. “Snails is right,” she said. “We’re not pirates. We’re members of the Equestrian Army! Even if we’re at sea. We don’t even want the treasure for ourselves, we want it to make up for what happened in Neigh Orleans! If we betray the Governor’s trust, then we’re no better than Pipsqueak!”
“Pipsqueak is kinda’ cool, though,” Scootaloo said. “He does make being a pirate look good.”
“Pipsqueak is a pirate! He’s a no-good lying scallywag! An evil rapscallion! A cruel corsair! A seedy swashbuckler!” Dinky didn’t even realize that she’d moved up to being practically muzzle-to-muzzle with Scootaloo until the last word came out. She was giving the pegasus filly as harsh a glare as she’d ever given anypony, and felt heat in her cheeks at the thought of Scootaloo finding Pipsqueak ‘cool’ or ‘looking good’. “Just because he’s good with a sword and really clever and fetching doesn’t mean we should be like him!”
“What’th he fetching?” Twist asked.
Dinky paused, backing away from Scootaloo. The other four foals were all staring at her expectantly. “Um…the Espada Noche’s treasure, of course. Same as us.” Had she really called Pipsqueak that? Did she mean it? Her other friends didn’t seem to know the other meaning of the word, which she’d heard her momma use before. It was a good thing Sweetie Belle wasn’t here… “Look,” she said, “the point is that we should be trying to win this game fair-and-square.”
Featherweight shifted a little again, ruffling his wings. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said, moving slightly so that he was sitting next to Snails. “We want to return to Equestria as heroes! Or at least as ponies deserving another chance. Not as pirates, or at least, not this kind of pirate.”
With Featherweight, Dinky, and Snails looking at the other two, Scootaloo and Twist both could sense the crews’ determination to do the right thing turn against their desire to abscond with the treasure. Twist looked longingly over her shoulder again at all the sweets and treats, mouth watering a little…but at length she sighed and nodded, turning back. “Yeah. You’re right,” she decided.
“I guess so too,” Scootaloo admitted. “My mom was in the Night Guard, I guess she probably wouldn’t want me to be a pirate.”
Dinky looked between the two of them, then nodded to herself and stepped up, pulling both into a hug, which Featherweight and Snails joined in on. “We’re doing the right thing,” Snails assured everypony.
“Yup, you are.”
The five Equestrian renegades all started, breaking their group-hug and turning towards the water. The siren had swam up to the water’s edge and was resting with her forelegs on dry land, head in her hooves as she looked up at them. Behind her, both chests were wrapped in a golden glow, and levitated across the water and set down before the foals. “Which is a shame because I really wanted to eat you.”
“Huh?” Snails asked.
“There was a challenge,” Lyra said. She waved a hoof back at where the chests had been, and the other exit. “If you five had actually tried to take the treasure for yourselves? I’d have stopped you and kept you down here…forever! Or until I got hungry…” she grinned a toothy, pointed grin. “The challenge was seeing if you were all honest ponies, if you were loyal enough to your word, even if it was just your implied word. And you were!”
Twist was almost immediately at the treasure chest that was full of candy…but even though she had instinctively reached for its contents, she stopped herself, sighed, and closed it up tight. “Th…so…if I hadn’t suggested we take the treasure for ourselves, then there really wouldn’t have been a challenge? We’d already be on our way?”
The siren reached up a little and patted Twist on the head. “Hey, it’s okay to be tempted, Twist. What matters is whether or not you give in.” She smiled brightly, no longer looking predatory. “And the best way to resist it is to have friends to help you out.”
Twist brightened. “I’ve got the best friends!” She insisted. The other members of her crew cheered, and took that as their cue to leave the siren’s cave behind. They were greeted back on the surface by Governor Davenport, who was looking much more honestly jovial as he accepted the treasure and let the foals take the Lyre Key – and also risked breaking character to make sure that they all knew that he and his employees at Quills & Sofas weren’t really mean ponies, they had just acted the part for the challenge. The five foals all confirmed that they knew that and understood, and Pinkie Pie didn’t appear, so all ended well on the island as the crew returned to the Rosedust and put to sea once more…now with all their keys.
“So now what?” Scootaloo asked, actually steering the Rosedust at a somewhat sedate pace through the waters of the Thousand Islands. “We have all our keys…but how are we gonna get any more?”
Dinky looked over the map of the Thousand Islands, or at least the third of it that she possessed. “Well…” she intoned, “if we have our three keys…but we need the keys of the other pirate crews too somehow…that means we need to meet up with them or at least get some eyes on them.”
“Parley?” Scootaloo asked. She did hang out with Sweetie Belle a lot, after all.
“Maybe,” Featherweight said. “We’ll have to figure something out. But until then, we should go to some place we know they’ll go. So where does every pirate end up eventually? When they’re done being a pirate for the day and need to go home?”
As rough-and-tumble a settlement as any, the isle of Caimán was a dangerous place. A meeting point for pirates across the Thousand Isles, it was a neutral ground in theory, or at least the pirates were not allowed to open fire upon one another’s ships in the bay. Peace was maintained by the fact that it was one of the few places where the corsairs, rapscallions, freebooters, marauders, picaroons, and all manner of other scurvy sea-dogs could spend their ill-gotten gains; that, and the strange and mystical powers of the Hoodoo Queen who kept everypony there in line.
It was also Sugarcube Corner, and no foal wanted to risk being banned from there due to misbehavior.
Sweetie Belle, Truffle Shuffle, and Tootsie Flute were in a tavern in Caimán Town, although not in its front – as soon as Sweetie Belle had come in, she’d gone right up to the Hoodoo Queen and told her that she was there for a challenge for the key. The Hoodoo Queen had been mysterious and spooky at first and looked like she was going to take Sweetie to some mysterious place full of danger and excitement to get the key…but then her tail had started twitching erratically and her mane had somehow almost changed color from pink to red, and instead the Hoodoo Queen had taken Sweetie Belle to a kitchen and told her that her challenge was going to be to make all the tapioca.
All of it.
Sweetie Belle had tried to explain that she was, charitably, not much of a cook. The Hoodoo Queen had only grinned at that and said that it was perfect, just don’t set the building on fire. Truffle Shuffle and Tootsie Flute had been put on anti-fire duty and given a tray of cupcakes for their trouble while Sweetie Belle worked, making something that broadly could be considered, under very loose definitions, to be tapioca.
“…so,” Sweetie Belle said as she stirred up what was going to be the last of the alleged tapioca she produced, having only covered maybe a tenth of the kitchen in residue from her efforts, “Firelock and Alula and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are probably already on their way here. Once I finish this last batch then I get the key from here. And we’ll have all three keys on our map!”
Truffle Shuffle took a swig of rum (juice) and a bite of cupcake (cupcake). “But you’ll still need six more from the other foals,” he said. “So how are you gonna get it?”
Sweetie Belle grinned. “That’s where you two can come in,” she said. “See, the crews can’t steal each others’ maps and probably not each others’ keys. But you two,” she turned to look at them, brushing her mane (and a bit of tapioca) out of her eyes, “aren’t part of any crew. So if you can just get their keys for me…I mean, us…then I’ll make sure you get a full share!”
Tootsie Flute shifted uncomfortably as she bit into some of her own cupcake. “My momma and papa says that a proper unicorn doesn’t steal.”
Truffle sighed at the mention of Tootsie’s parents and their beliefs about what proper unicorns did and didn’t do. “They also called me a phase,” the earth pony colt said.
Tootsie started at that, dropping her cupcake and immediately stepping up to Truffle, hugging him tightly (and smushing some of his own cupcake against her chest and Truffle’s own). “No you’re not!” Without letting go of Truffle, she turned to look at Sweetie, determination in her eyes. “Fine! We’ll help steal the keys!”
“But wait,” Truffle said, pushing Tootsie off of him gently. “If we’re getting a share, then that means we’re part of the Diamond Tiara’s crew. So then we can’t steal, it’s against the rules.”
Sweetie paused in her stirring of tapioca as she considered that, while Tootsie, much to her own chagrin, had to get further away from Truffle so as to put out a small flame that had sprung up from nowhere and against all reason near the ingredients. “Welllll…” Sweetie intoned. “There is a way around that. If we three make our own crew, then we’re not part of the other three. And that way there’s more treasure for us!”
Tootsie grinned, rubbing her hooves together, fully caught up in defying her parents in any way possible at the moment. Truffle looked between the two fillies, then shrugged as he got a new cupcake for himself. “It’s not technically against the rules,” he said. “And just because you didn’t start the game as a pirate doesn’t mean you can’t become one…and pirates never play by the rules!”
Sweetie laughed. Tootsie joined in, and Truffle a moment later. The Hoodoo Queen showed up for the last of what vaguely resembled tapioca and hoofed over a pristine wooden spoon to Sweetie, said it was the key, and then took off again while shouting about oranges and Lyra being on thin ice or something.
And in an alley outside the tavern, but in a perfect spot to overhear everything going on in its kitchen, Pirate King Pipsqueak and his crew listened in, and Pipsqueak chuckled to himself. “Aye, cap’n Sweetie Belle,” he said. “Ye can make yerself a filly o’ fortune and that frees ye up to steal.” He looked to Rumble, Snips, Bee Bop, and Applebloom. “But it also means that we can break the Pirate’s Code and steal from her, if’n she be the one what does it first.” He looked pointedly at Rumble, standing up on the tips of his hooves to close the difference in height somewhat. “Right, me hartey?”
Rumble considered, then grinned and nodded. “Right…captain Pipsqueak.”
Pipsqueak chuckled again, and ushered his crew on. They needed to get back to the Hispaniola and get their own final key first, but then all they had to do was steer clear of Sweetie Belle, wait for the filly and her rogues to take the keys of the other two crews…and then close in.
“Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me…” Pipsqueak hummed softly, and laughed.
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Oh, and I had permission from Fizzy Orange to torment his OC.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=it%27s+alive+igor&&view=detail&mid=E7C5C173DB04823EB03FE7C5C173DB04823EB03F&rvsmid=8D70300B6A284A3700768D70300B6A284A370076&FORM=VDQVAP
This is the first time that anything that I was following that was on hiatus came back
Huh, wut?!
Sheesh, I don't recall this story at all!
I'm going to have to skim the whole thing to kick my memory into gear.
Awwwwwww! So Cute!
Good chapter overall, although the Pinkie parts grated on me something fierce. One typo I found.
Should be Sweetie.
9652757
Got it.
9652638
Tootsie's a good kid.
9652090
I got Tapioca'd!
I can see this ending poorly for our seafaring fillies (and colts).
Wow, it was a long since I read this... which is fine, because it gave me an excuse to re-read it. This is cute, I like it.
Wonderful chapter! Good job.
9652090
is Fizzy ok or did Pinkie do to her what she did to Octavia?
This has been wonderful thus far. The sudden shift into intrigue and backstabbing only makes it better. Eagerly looking forward to more.
9660446
Well, Deets was playing dirty from the start by stealing the treasure outright, trying to skip gathering keys. And likewise Sneaky Belle was also teased.
But, yeah, one of the reasons this has been on hiatus for so long is that I realized while writing this story that I didn’t really have much in the way of a conflict or stakes, everything was too easy considering what the main point of this story - Dinky earning her cutie mark - was. She needed a pretty major thing to overcome given what that mark is gonna represent.
And suddenly the stakes have been raised.
9660485
DUDE! SPOILERS!
I mean yes, I had already guessed that was going to happen nice touch with the itchy flank by the way but still!
9768575
Sorry! I forget sometimes that not everyone who reads my stories is actually a Lunaverse forum member. Mea culpa.
DT, thinking: "Nag please, I'm gonna be the Mayor."
And another fic I should have been paying better attention to, but can't recall getting the update notifications for... or maybe I did and just put it off too long until I forgot. Well, whatever the case, I'm here now.
9786849
My thoughts exactly.
10239409
I should have a new chapter of this up within the week, too!