• Member Since 20th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen May 7th, 2016

Whiter Penmanship

Just your average albino 'sus with a passion for writing and a knack for procrastination! Feel free to hang around and give the stories a read, leave a comment, or just shoot me a PM and we can chat.

Comments ( 125 )

This story is a bit different than what I would usually write or read, that being mushy, sweet, happy My Little Pony fanfiction, but I have read far too many war-related stories on this site recently that were written solely for the purpose of unnecessary violence and action sequences. While some are good, in my opinion, most are simply written for the sheer shock value of blood and death. Very few I've read take the time to delve into the psyche of the victims of these wars, direct or not, and as such, leave little lasting effect on me. I will mourn the character's hardships as I read, but as soon as I am finished and I back out of the page, I'm on to a new story, hopefully one that will stick with me longer. One that will make me stop to think, to wonder why the characters did what they did, what motivated them, and why they are the way they are. Therefore, I decided to break away form the norm and write one as an experiment, a story that would reveal the psychological aftereffects that war can have on anybody, be it person or pony.

Does this story do that?

You tell me.

Don't mind me.
Just commenting for proof that I was here before it gets featured.
Move along.:twilightsmile:

Feature Box requires 4000 words minimal, sorry to burst your hopes :fluttercry:

You can't use that cover art, it belongs to the author of the Fic 'I've got your back'. You have to ask his permission before you can use it :twilightsmile:

That's funny, the artist gave me permission to use it, so why not him?

Wow, powerful stuff. I don't often see a story deal with the difficulty soldiers have adjusting to society after returning home. I thought that letter was headed for tragedy, he has one hell of a wife though.

2346420 because the art was made specifically for that story

Doesn't mean he "can't" use that image. I've seen plenty of stories use the same images and nobody gave a damn. You can't seriously expect authors to search thousands of fics for one that used the same image. So fucking deal with it and move on

If the artist said *I* could use it, then so can he as long as he gives credit. Want the proof? Look on the deviantart's comment section. I'm right there.

2346445 ahh.... But you DIDNT use it :ajsmug:

2346445 oh and there wasn't any credit given...


Surprise motherfucker.
password: guard
For the record, I made that last year. So shut-up about it being the same. Coincidences happen. Deal with it.

That's what the source is for.

2346466 does anyone actually look at that though? The least the author could do is put the name of the guy who made the image in the description of the story.....

Oh and looked at the Devianart page, your not there :ajbemused:

2346503 JUST BEAT IT!

2346495 Okay, look. Would you two be so kind as to take this into a private place, please? I'm terribly sorry that my choice of cover image upsets you so much. It wouldn't have had one had Brony2893 not sent me that one last night and suggested that I use it, seeing as he wasn't able to finish his story. Would it make you feel better if I gave credit to the artist?

2346528 Then I'll get right on that.

Bro, calm down. He's not worth the effort.

You, I think you should stop. Even if you were right, nobody would respect you by the end of the "conversation". You obviously don't respect what other people have to say, and you're taking this to seriously. If he wants to use the image, he can use the image. Besides, the author was able enough to source the image back to its creator, so everything is fine.

I am calm. In fact, I'm actually quite happy right now:raritywink:

You didn't seem like it before.:duck:
Btw, there's an anime show I've been hooked on for a while.
I'll be willing to share it to you if you wanna watch it.

Back then my first story, Luna Plays... had less than 4k words and it got featured.

2346609 uh... Dude this has already been settled :ajbemused:

Doesn't matter. You still have keep that in mind, unless if you want to get in a fight like this in the future.

Alright then. Suit yourself.
You only have yourself to blame if somebody else doesn't like you.

1. Bare vs. bear; in all three instances in which you used bare, bear is the correct word. There are some other minor grammatical quibbles, but nothing so serious so as to significantly detract from the story.

2. While the conveyed sentiments are more or less... standard (?) for the situation, the piece to me lacks emotional impact because the characters are too generic. You could literally have replaced Ivory Streak and Star Struck with any non-canon name, or left them out entirely, and there would have been no difference because there is no context within which to know or care about these two characters.

I don't think the story is bad; I just think that, as is, it falls short of what you intended in your comments. It has, however, the potential to do so were it to be expanded.

2346692 I really don't care if someone doesn't like me, that their opinion :ajbemused: now can you please shut up, I'm waiting for the Double Rainboom premier :rainbowkiss: *squeeee* it's gonna be SO AWESOME!!

Telling me to "shut up" is technically incorrect as we're just typing.
Also, you're not the boss of me.
You can't tell me what to do.

2346695 I see. Thank you for the input. Actually, I insisted to my editor that "bear" was correct, but he told me to change it to "bare". The story also originally had no names, though that was changed last minute, again, by my editor. Not to blame anyone. I was in a rush to post, so it could have used a bit more thought on the matter, so that all falls on me. But I'll keep that in mind. Can't really do anything at this point but do my best to improve.

2346716:facehoof: just stop replying to me please, I get these annoying beeps everytime you do

2346695 Dammit... *bows to the commenter* I was just going though my 'proofread and review' commenting, and refreshed the page to see that you had already corrected this error. You have my gratitude. :pinkiesmile:

Whatever. If it makes you that comfortable.
At the very least, you said please.

2346716>>2346708 Could we please not start this up again? Thank you Chaotic, you are correct, but things had been settled. It was already stressful enough posting my first story, the arguing in the comments really isn't helping.

2346736 people keep dragging me back here :ajbemused:

Sorry. I just can't really stand people who don't have a care and complain about the very little things.
I was just about to read your story anyway. You can expect my next comment to be supportive.:twilightsmile:

2346754 I understand, and I agree wholeheartedly. But, like I said, it was sort of unnecessary. Hope you like it.



You're a lot more tolerant than me, I would have just deleted all of his comments by his 4rd post and blocked him.

It's one thing to delete comments, it's another to delete douchebags.


2346718 You can edit them with ctrl + F to quickly find and correct them, can't you?

2346445 Not wanting to be a huge ass here but he can't (Just wanting to clear it up), However, the artist probably won't mind it considering he has given permission before, aslong credit is given (Which is, with source after all). Anyways, Rainbow87Dash, you don't have to be such a meany pants, after all, love and tolerate right? And I highly doubt you would like it if someone would act like you on your first story.

Anyways, Nice story man, certainly something I never thought I would read. I will be honest, I didn't really like it, however I'm just not really into stories like this so that probably explains it ^^. It was well written and certainly a good first story. I am happy to have read this even though I didn't really enjoy it, it just let me realise that war does terrible things to people, not only phisycal but also mental.

It's really short but thumbs up!

This story made me think a little. I can only wonder how our soldiers feels when their out there on the field.

Really great story.:twilightsmile: It really captures the emotional and mental turmoil that so many go through when loved ones return from war. The love and determination of Star Struck to remain with her husband through this bad time is and inspiration to remain true to your loved ones and is something needed for these poor souls. :pinkiesad2:

You sir, get a fav! :twilightsmile:

2347497 Why thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

This is definitely different from what I usually read (mostly romance with a little comedy here and there) but this is really great. Bravo, sir, bravo.:fluttercry:

Great job Whiter Penmanship. This was an amazing letter and it took me deep, especially since my grandfather suffered from PTSD and he nearly attacked me cause he thought i was what he called 'vietcong' and i understand the wife's feeling. Very good read my friend, very good read.:twilightsmile:

You're welcome. As far as first stories go, this is a great start! :pinkiesmile:

This story deserves more wubs. Here have a like! :pinkiehappy:

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