A Wife's Burden
Dear, Ivory Streak,
Some days are good. Some are bad. I never know from one day to the next what to expect from you. I sometimes don't know from minute to minute how you will react to even the most mundane daily happenings.
Your moods seemingly change every minute and I have to make split-second judgments on what I should say or do. It's like walking on eggshells every minute of my life. Even the most innocent of remarks can send you into one of your frenzies. The stress is sometimes more than I can bear.
Today is a bad day. They seem to come along just when things are going pretty good, or at least seem to be. I know that the anger isn't my fault and that I didn't cause it, but I must bear the brunt of it until this crisis passes.
I am between you and the foals. I am between you and society. I am between you and the world. But each time I am put in that position, I get a little weaker. I get a little closer to falling off the edge. I die a little more inside.
I love you. I know that deep down inside, no matter what is going on, you love me too. I know that these terrible times are caused by memories too painful for you to remember, but too traumatic for you to dismiss.
Sometimes, at night, I watch you. I see you toss and turn, I hear you talking to those whose final moments you witnessed and can never forget. I watch you in your communion with your ghosts from war. I hear you cry and wish that the tears would wash your haunting memories away.
Although you aren't aware of me, I am there beside you through your most terrible nightmares. Each time I hear you cry out in anguish, it’s like I'm being stabbed through the heart. I cry with you sometimes and you don't even know. Night after night I go with you back in time, to another place, when you were young and afraid. But I cannot let you know that I'm there.
When the nightmare gets too much to handle, and you wake up screaming, I pretend to be sleeping. But I still watch as you get up, light your cigarette and begin your nightly patrol. I see you checking behind the doors for unseen enemies. I see you check the windows. I listen to you go through the entire house as if some deadly adversary lurked in every shadow. I lay quietly, feigning sleep, my wings tucked tightly against my sides in fear, praying that you will know who I am when you return to bed. I hold my breath as you return to the bedroom, wondering if tonight is the night you will think I am the same enemy you fought and if indeed you will try to kill me. Some nights you stand over me, staring down at me as if you don't know me. Those are the nights that I fear the most. I feel your presence and your eyes on me. That's when I pray. It always feels like those moments may be my last, but know that I will die loving you.
I knew the happy reception wouldn't be happening when you just trotted past your friends at your homecoming. You didn’t even glance at them, just quietly ushered me and the children home. But how could you face them? How can you look at them when you still blame yourself for what happened? Your friend was their friend too. But you had no control over it. Why can’t you see that?
I wish there was some magic with the ability to cure this disease called war. I wish the past could be buried and forgotten. But I know that it can't be. I know that I will fight this war until death, or madness claims one of us. Sometimes it actually occurs to me that death will be our only release from this nightly torture we both go through… seperate, yet together.
Days are just as bad, when the nightmares become the flashbacks. There's nothing I can say or do to make you forget. All I can hope for is that you will someday be able to cope with all of the traumas. It scares me that you sometimes see our world through younger eyes. Those eyes don't see the same world as I do. The world seen through them is far away… through time and distance. The people in that world are trying to kill you and I know you will try to kill them first. But what if it is one of our foals that you are seeing as the enemy?
Would I have the power to stop you?
I always know I am in for a particularly bad time when you start drinking. If you would only stop after a few, it might not be so bad. But you never do. It seems that when the alcohol hits, the ghosts all come out of their hiding places to haunt you, even before Celestia's sun goes down. I cannot even begin to count the holes in the walls and doors that have been patched over the years by your powerful hooves. I've probably gone through a dozen sets of glassware, not to mention the good Crystal Empire imports that were left to me by my mother.
Every pane of glass in the house has been replaced at least once after you have either bucked it or thrown something through it. It's a joke having a waterbed, really. I must have been crazy buying it. It has more patches on it than a patchwork quilt. But the broken things can be repaired. It’s the shredding of my soul that cannot be fixed. And every experience tears it up just a little bit more.
Why do I stay with you? Because I know that you are a good pony at heart. I know that the stallion I fell in love with is in that body and most of the time that's the one I see. I know that you cannot help what this terrible affliction called war has done to you. I know it isn't me that you're mad at, it's just that I'm available for you to vent your anger and frustrations on. And I pray that someday the effects of war will fade away, although, deep down... I know it just won't happen.
I love you and would want you to stay by me if some horrible affliction affected me. I married you for better or for worse. Even if it seems the worse outweighs the better, I get through it by remembering the good times. I am lucky enough to have friends who are going through the same thing with their husbands and sons, and are always there to give me the strength and support I need during the periods of crisis that come.
I know that it hurts you when you face all the things that are out of control in your life, especially those times when you lash out at me, both verbally and physically. I know that you wish you could be different. Just know, sweetheart, that I will stand by you through everything, good or bad, and we can never give up. We are still fighting wars... yours was in the field of war, and mine is the war left in you. We will not surrender. We will fight for the rest of our lives, if necessary, but we will survive this, together.
In the end, we will be the victors.
I will be your foundation when things are shaky. I will be your listening ear when you need to talk. I will be your strength when you are weak. I will hold you close when you need comfort. I will be your friend when you have no one to turn to. I will be your sanctuary when the pressure is too great. I will be your commander when you need direction. I will be your pointman when we face life's long roads. I will be your medic when the pain is too much to bear.
And I will be your burial detail when the time to mourn you comes. Until then, I shall remain everstrong for our love, and for our beautiful children whom I pray to Celestia never know this atrocity.
But, remember, my unsung hero, that I will be your wife throughout it all. Sleep well, my beloved, and be at rest, for I will stay by your side through your darkest nightmares, and be with you through this difficult trial.
. Your loving wife,
. Star Struck
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This story is a bit different than what I would usually write or read, that being mushy, sweet, happy My Little Pony fanfiction, but I have read far too many war-related stories on this site recently that were written solely for the purpose of unnecessary violence and action sequences. While some are good, in my opinion, most are simply written for the sheer shock value of blood and death. Very few I've read take the time to delve into the psyche of the victims of these wars, direct or not, and as such, leave little lasting effect on me. I will mourn the character's hardships as I read, but as soon as I am finished and I back out of the page, I'm on to a new story, hopefully one that will stick with me longer. One that will make me stop to think, to wonder why the characters did what they did, what motivated them, and why they are the way they are. Therefore, I decided to break away form the norm and write one as an experiment, a story that would reveal the psychological aftereffects that war can have on anybody, be it person or pony.
Does this story do that?
You tell me.
I say, what a marvelous little tale you have here
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDgvMDcvMjNfMjVfMzVfNjYwXzY5MzYyX19zYWZlX2FuaW1hdGVkX29jdGF2aWFfcmVhY3Rpb25faW1hZ2VfY2xhcHBpbmciXV0/69362__safe_animated_octavia_reaction-image_clapping_citizen-kane.gif
Don't mind me.
Just commenting for proof that I was here before it gets featured.
Move along.
2346389
Feature Box requires 4000 words minimal, sorry to burst your hopes
You can't use that cover art, it belongs to the author of the Fic 'I've got your back'. You have to ask his permission before you can use it
2346408
That's funny, the artist gave me permission to use it, so why not him?
Wow, powerful stuff. I don't often see a story deal with the difficulty soldiers have adjusting to society after returning home. I thought that letter was headed for tragedy, he has one hell of a wife though.
HERE'S THE ORIGINAL STORY!!!
2346420 because the art was made specifically for that story
2346433
Doesn't mean he "can't" use that image. I've seen plenty of stories use the same images and nobody gave a damn. You can't seriously expect authors to search thousands of fics for one that used the same image. So fucking deal with it and move on
2346437
If the artist said *I* could use it, then so can he as long as he gives credit. Want the proof? Look on the deviantart's comment section. I'm right there.
2346445 ahh.... But you DIDNT use it
2346445 oh and there wasn't any credit given...
2346454
Surprise motherfucker.
password:
guardFor the record, I made that last year. So shut-up about it being the same. Coincidences happen. Deal with it.
2346462
That's what the source is for.
2346466 does anyone actually look at that though? The least the author could do is put the name of the guy who made the image in the description of the story.....
Oh and looked at the Devianart page, your not there
2346495
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDkvMDcvMTRfNDdfMTRfNTM4XzkxOTY1X19VTk9QVF9fc2FmZV9wcmluY2Vzc19jZWxlc3RpYSJdXQ/91965__safe_princess-celestia_parody_phoenix-wright_artist-dethlunchies_objection.jpg.jpg
YOU DIDN'T LOOK FAR ENOUGH
2346503 JUST BEAT IT!
[youtube=7Pc4nt6rYi0]
2346495 Okay, look. Would you two be so kind as to take this into a private place, please? I'm terribly sorry that my choice of cover image upsets you so much. It wouldn't have had one had Brony2893 not sent me that one last night and suggested that I use it, seeing as he wasn't able to finish his story. Would it make you feel better if I gave credit to the artist?
2346523 yeah I guess....
2346528 Then I'll get right on that.
2346503
Bro, calm down. He's not worth the effort.
2346495
You, I think you should stop. Even if you were right, nobody would respect you by the end of the "conversation". You obviously don't respect what other people have to say, and you're taking this to seriously. If he wants to use the image, he can use the image. Besides, the author was able enough to source the image back to its creator, so everything is fine.
2346609
I am calm. In fact, I'm actually quite happy right now
2346631
You didn't seem like it before.
Btw, there's an anime show I've been hooked on for a while.
I'll be willing to share it to you if you wanna watch it.
2346407
Really?
Back then my first story, Luna Plays... had less than 4k words and it got featured.
2346609 uh... Dude this has already been settled
2346666
Doesn't matter. You still have keep that in mind, unless if you want to get in a fight like this in the future.
2346674 meh whatever
2346677
Alright then. Suit yourself.
You only have yourself to blame if somebody else doesn't like you.
1. Bare vs. bear; in all three instances in which you used bare, bear is the correct word. There are some other minor grammatical quibbles, but nothing so serious so as to significantly detract from the story.
2. While the conveyed sentiments are more or less... standard (?) for the situation, the piece to me lacks emotional impact because the characters are too generic. You could literally have replaced Ivory Streak and Star Struck with any non-canon name, or left them out entirely, and there would have been no difference because there is no context within which to know or care about these two characters.
I don't think the story is bad; I just think that, as is, it falls short of what you intended in your comments. It has, however, the potential to do so were it to be expanded.
2346692 I really don't care if someone doesn't like me, that their opinion
now can you please shut up, I'm waiting for the Double Rainboom premier 
*squeeee* it's gonna be SO AWESOME!!
2346708
Telling me to "shut up" is technically incorrect as we're just typing.
Also, you're not the boss of me.
You can't tell me what to do.
2346695 I see. Thank you for the input. Actually, I insisted to my editor that "bear" was correct, but he told me to change it to "bare". The story also originally had no names, though that was changed last minute, again, by my editor. Not to blame anyone. I was in a rush to post, so it could have used a bit more thought on the matter, so that all falls on me. But I'll keep that in mind. Can't really do anything at this point but do my best to improve.
2346716
just stop replying to me please, I get these annoying beeps everytime you do
2346695 Dammit... *bows to the commenter* I was just going though my 'proofread and review' commenting, and refreshed the page to see that you had already corrected this error. You have my gratitude.
2346727
Whatever. If it makes you that comfortable.
At the very least, you said please.
2346716>>2346708 Could we please not start this up again? Thank you Chaotic, you are correct, but things had been settled. It was already stressful enough posting my first story, the arguing in the comments really isn't helping.
2346736 people keep dragging me back here
2346736
Sorry. I just can't really stand people who don't have a care and complain about the very little things.
I was just about to read your story anyway. You can expect my next comment to be supportive.
2346754 I understand, and I agree wholeheartedly. But, like I said, it was sort of unnecessary. Hope you like it.
2346736
You're a lot more tolerant than me, I would have just deleted all of his comments by his 4rd post and blocked him.
It's one thing to delete comments, it's another to delete douchebags.
s5.postimage.org/olzavjkuf/480px_Fluttershy_Shrug.png
2346718 You can edit them with ctrl + F to quickly find and correct them, can't you?
2346445 Not wanting to be a huge ass here but he can't (Just wanting to clear it up), However, the artist probably won't mind it considering he has given permission before, aslong credit is given (Which is, with source after all). Anyways, Rainbow87Dash, you don't have to be such a meany pants, after all, love and tolerate right? And I highly doubt you would like it if someone would act like you on your first story.
Anyways, Nice story man, certainly something I never thought I would read. I will be honest, I didn't really like it, however I'm just not really into stories like this so that probably explains it ^^. It was well written and certainly a good first story. I am happy to have read this even though I didn't really enjoy it, it just let me realise that war does terrible things to people, not only phisycal but also mental.
It's really short but thumbs up!
This story made me think a little. I can only wonder how our soldiers feels when their out there on the field.
Really great story.
It really captures the emotional and mental turmoil that so many go through when loved ones return from war. The love and determination of Star Struck to remain with her husband through this bad time is and inspiration to remain true to your loved ones and is something needed for these poor souls. 
You sir, get a fav!
2347497 Why thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
This is definitely different from what I usually read (mostly romance with a little comedy here and there) but this is really great. Bravo, sir, bravo.
Great job Whiter Penmanship. This was an amazing letter and it took me deep, especially since my grandfather suffered from PTSD and he nearly attacked me cause he thought i was what he called 'vietcong' and i understand the wife's feeling. Very good read my friend, very good read.
2347553
You're welcome. As far as first stories go, this is a great start!
This story deserves more wubs. Here have a like!
2349820 Why thank you very much.