2. A wretched hive of Pun and Silly!
Imaginary Friendship is Magic!
By Boss Hoss
Chapter 2 “A wretched hive of Pun and Silly”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On entering the Foyer of the mansion, Twilight’s view of the world stopped swinging side to side and abruptly came into focus, faced with a teeming horde of creatures seemingly straight from Tartarus. Some were jumping up and down in Eduard’s way to see what he brought in. Hopefully they weren’t competing for dinner…
Over all this confusing bizarreness confronting Twilight was a strange, bouncy music. It was hard to place but similar to the awful Boogie-Woogie Swing Music the famous Authoress, Jade Singer was known to listen to. Yes, it was fitting music to all this madness.
Suddenly, a horrible, lemon yellow creature wearing a jeweled turban and a coat that *shudder* appeared to be made from mink skins stood up in front of Eduardo and Twilight.
She snarled angrily through her sideways mouth, then snorted through her short elephant trunk, acting remarkably like some Canterlot Noble snob.
Angrily, the monster stormed over to a record player much like her own sitting on an end table, her motions revealing she was 2-Dimensional like a Ponehcasso painting come to life.
Fuming, the beastly female yanked the needle across the record with a nerve-wracking screech. “NO! Zis! Weel! Not! Do! Dahlink! This... THIIIIS Song!”
Twilight could somehow practically hear the capitalization of each and every word as she said them.
Immediately, a menacing military march started playing, sending shivers up her spine and thoughts of the last Griffon Kingdom/Equestria war in the history books.
The creature cackled in triumph like a movie serial villaness. “THAT Ees Te’ Only Song On That Record Worthy Of Ze Dutchess!!”
To Twilight’s shock, the record player opened up googly eyes on its front and stood up from the table on spindly green bird legs. “Sheesh! Yeah, 'dat song fits youse all right. Would it kill yas' ta’ ask nicely?! Its not like the soundtrack album ta' “Star Wars” is easy ta' come by in vinyl anymore, ya' know!”
Horrified, Twilight looked around the main hall and the crowd of bizarre but mostly friendly creatures "I wonder if this is what it's like in Pinkie's head...”
Just like a five-year-old, Eduardo seemed to have forgotten he was even holding her as he talked with some of the strange beasts. One looked like a cross between a duck and a palm tree, with odd mechanical bits added in, the other was tall and slender like a bamboo stick and a head like a red dandelion. Unlike the other monsters, this one was obviously missing an arm and had an eye injury -and not made that way.
Looking away in pity, she took the time to examine the Foyer and Entrance Hall, easily as large as that of the ones in the old section of the Canterlot Palace.
The (formerly) opulent grandeur was offset by the odd color choices, but at least walls of a light pink with carnation trim were not an eye-watering horror like portions of the outside had been. She started to wonder of some of the creatures were color blind.
“That might explain a few things. Oh, Eduardo, can you see in color?”
Pausing in surprise, the minotaur blinked several times and looked down, suddenly remembering the unicorn mare. He bent down really close to her ear and whispered “Oh? Oh! Si! Me see in colours! Many colours! Sadly, Fredrico the paint brush… He cannot. Is really sad, so no one tell him he paint wrong colour. Señora Foster make it a rule that no one tell Fredrico, ever! Si?”
Stifling a giggle, Twilight nods in sudden understanding. Apparently most of the creatures here were as kind as they were strange, “Ze Dutchess” notwithstanding…
The amazingly tall red creature bent down at the waist to look at her, his shoes making squeaking noises with every move. “Oh! Hello! I’m sorry I didn’t notice you under Eduardo’s arm like that.
My name is Wilt, and this is Coco. Welcome to Madam Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends. We are, as you can tell, Imaginary Friends.” He added with a wink
He brought his spindly arm up to rub his chin. “…Did Eduardo bring you in here from the Unicorn Stables? You look awfully familiar...”
Waving a hoof hello, Twilight gave a cheerful smile, which slowly drooped into a puzzled frown “…Unicorn what? Ah-heh-hehh… Let’s try this again, I am Twilight Sparkle. I just got here following a spell…”
==+==+==+==+==+==
Above, on the main stairwell landing, a cylindrical blue blob with a bored frown on his face shuffled his way along and stopped to peer over the railing at the chaos below in the Foyer. “Same old, same old... Man, Mac better get here soon, I’m dyin’ of Boooordom! Bored, bored, bored…”
An arched eyebrow formed on his fluid face as he noticed an out-of-place flash of lavender, and looked at Eduardo. “Oh Geeeeez! Another Twiblight Sporkle! How original! Doesn’t anyone have an original Imaginary Friend these days? I mean really? Next thing you know we’ll get imaginary Aquabats... Wait! That actually would be cool for a change!” he finishes with a laugh.
==+==+==+==+==+==
Meanwhile, the three imaginary friends were crowded around Twilight as she sheepishly finished her explanation. “…And here I am. Embarrassing, huh?”
Wilt flashed a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry if we all frightened you, Twilight. Then again, I am surprised seeing Dutchess didn’t send you out the door screaming if you’ve never met an Imaginary Friend before.”
He waved his hand in an arc meaning the entire estate “Since we were all created by children, this place has all kinds of dolls as you can imagine. We even have an Imaginary Donkey that repairs them for everyone. If your doll is here, you will find her. Well, have fun with Eduardo and good luck in your adventure. We can meet back up later and I’ll have my autograph book!”
After a moment he added “And if you need any help, look for one of us or the kid that comes here every day, Mac. Don’t ask that giant rabbit, Mr. Herriman, or our human caretaker, Frankie. I am sorry, but they won’t believe you are real. Mr. Herriman tends to ignore his Imaginary Friend senses since he’s a big ol’ stick in the mud. We can feel you aren’t one of us.” Coco hopped up and down, shouting “COCO!” in agreement.
Suddenly Wilt leaned in really close to whisper in her ear “And, if you see this blue trashcan lookin’ thing. Try to avoid him until Mac arrives at Three o’clock. Bloo is very friendly but he might prank you or get you in trouble. That seems to be his specialty when his boy, Mac is not here.”
Nodding in thanks, Twilight replied “Thanks Wilt, I will remember that... Sayyy… Why do you want my autograph? I’m just a regular ol’ Unicorn as far as you know.”
Before Wilt could answer, Eduardo gave a horrified gasp. “Ai! Peligro! Señor Herriman! We go now!”
Wilt looked over his shoulder at someone coming, then back at Twilight. “I’m sorry, I’ll tell you later. We’ll cover for ya! Go Eduardo!”
After a hurried “Si!”, the Minotaur bull was charging to the stairs while Wilt and Coco were suddenly mobbing a strange looking six-foot tall rabbit dressed like a Canterlot Noble, asking him a flood of pointless questions.
As the scenery changed in Twilight’s view, looking backwards in Eduardo’s arms, she saw the colors and décor changed drastically with each new turn. Something was familiar about the layout, but she could not put her hoof on it…
Suddenly, Eduardo turned through a door and into a kitchen where he set Twilight down. “Me think we lost him! We must get the tea and cookies before we meet my dollies, Señorita Twilight. Pick the tea you like. Me will get cookies!”
Snapping a salute like Rainbow Dash, then giggling, Twilight trotted around, giving each of the teas a sniff before finding one called “Orange Pekoe”
She turned back to Eduard, still looking down at the can of tea floating in her magic. “This one smells nice. How about…” She finally saw what Eduardo was doing and tapped a hoof on the floor. “Ummm. You might want to put some of those back, Eduardo. This is just a small tea party.”
Blinking, Eduardo looked at Twilight, then at the dozen boxes of cookies in his arms. After a moment, he sheepishly put them back. “Me sorry Twilight, me love cookies so much! Muy bueno!”
Giggling, Twilight used her magic to put the tea kettle she found on the stove to boil. “It’s quite all right, Eduardo.”
Soon , Eduardo was pushing a tea cart down the hallways to what he called the Tea Room. “My Dollies are already there and waiting on me. The poco burro, she take care of my dollies for me. That way, Bloo no break them when me is not there. He play too rough with things that are no his…”
Twilight peeked out from under the sheet covering the cart “This… "Blue" is starting to sound like trouble. Is he really nice?”
Stopping to open the door, Eduardo shook his head “Bloo is very nice. Is loyal friend. But… He no think! Is very reckless. No ask before playing with things. So, me leave Dollies with the Imaginary Friend who make and repair dollies.”
Twlight giggles as she climbs out of the cart to enter the room. “He sounds a lot like one of my friends, Rainbow Dash. I think you would like her. She’s a Pegasus who can go faster than sound.”
Eduardo grins as he sets the plate of cookies on a small, round table. There are seven dolls, most looked like the same type of creature as she had seen across the street, or in paintings hanging on the walls of this house. The last was a fluffy teddy bear with a red ribbon around his neck. “Me think she sound bueno! Very nice! These my Dollies! This is Roja the Bear, Barbi, Wanda, Rosa, Daisy, and the last two are especial! This is a doll of my person, Nina, when she was little girl, and this last, she is Frankie, our caretaker.”
Coming up to the table, Twilight pulled up a pillow to sit on and took a good look “Oh my! Whoever did those last two dolls is as good as Rarity in sewing!”
She levitated the tea and poured some for herself and Eduardo “I was really hoping you could help me find mine, Mr. Eduardo. That’s what my spell brought me here to find. She’s a little grey donkey.”
Ears twitching, the Minotaur looked at her “Ooooh! Si! The dollie maker! She may know! We go to her after…”
“EDUARDO!”
Both creatures gasped and turned to the door, where the real Frankie stood with her hands on her hips “Eduardo! Did Mr. Herriman give you permission to bring one of the Unimaginative Unicorn Friends inside? Half of them aren’t housetrained! I know the My Little Pony ones don’t scar up the flooring because their hooves are so soft, but Rules are Rules, Ed. Guess who’s butt is in a wringer if that stuck-up, lop-eared prig finds her in here? Me!”
To Twilight’s shock, the huge minotaur seemed to curl up inside himself. “But… but.. Frankie!! She no Imaginar…”
Frankie raised her hand to stop him. “Uh-uh! Talk to the hand, cos’ the girl aint’ listenin’! She is going back to the Unicorn Stables with me.”
Twilight gasped “Wait, what?! I think there’s been some kind of mistake!”
The red-headed twentysomething reached into her purse and pulled out a red plastic egg “I knew I had one! Come on! Be a halter or muzzle…”
Sighing, the magical mare rolled her purple eyes as the girl popped the egg open to find a halter. “Wait! Look, I’ll go with you as long as you do not even try to put a halter on me. Just listen and I’ll explain on the way, okay?”
Fuming, Frankie rolled her eyes “Ugh, fine! Come on then. I don’t want to find out you are one of the non-housebroken ones the hard way…”
Fuming, Twilight started to follow along, when a black-painted metal horn on the wall jolted and jumped as it crackled to life.
“MISS FRANCES! YOUR PRESENSE IS REQUESTED IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!”
Putting a hand to her face in frustration, Frankie growled and gritted her teeth. “He has the worst timing in the universe! Look! Miss Terrible Vampire Soap Opera…”
“TWILIGHT!!”
“Whatever... I can’t put my finger on it right now, but there’s something weird about you. I’ll talk to you later. –In the Unicorn Stables!”
Turning, Frankie waved to a giant monster about twenty or thirty feet tall, just managing to fit in the Canterlot-scale hallways. “Hey, Big Guy! Would you do me an awesome favor and take this Unicorn to the Unicorn Stables?”
The creature smiled huge picket-fence fangs and picked up a terrified Twilight. “Shore thing Miz Frankie! It’ll give me a chance ta’ try my act with those winged unithingies!”
As he stomped down the hall, Frankie called after him “..And no prop-comedy involving sledge-hammers and fruits or vegetables! That’s their dinners!”
Meanwhile, Eduardo was frantic! He had to go help Twilight! He was moving to follow the big monster to the stable when a blue streak zipped by him. Bloo was holding Eduardo’s dolls over his head, giggling like a loon and racing the opposite direction down the hall.
Twilight would still be in the stable when he got his Dollies back, but for now, HIS DOLLIES NEEDED HIM!
“BLOOOOOO! COME BAAACK!"
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Que fire mane twilight sparkle in 3...2...1...
Ha! Love it so far, a bit rushed in some way, but not all that bad in reading.
Apologies for the wait everyone...
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2835812
It can be hard to do the show's frantic pace and not feel rushed. Hopefuly I can hit the right mix like the show writers pulled off.
Hmm...So there have been imaginary Twilights coming in as of late?
I wonder if they have any actual magical ability...So far, the real Twilight has only revealed her magic to Ed so far as I've seen.
2835952
The answers to this will be a large part of chapter 3...
2835952 Well remember that one time Mac took Bloo to school for show and tell? All the other kids made their own versions of Bloo, but they were all different.
2839389 That episode was great!
Not sure if Twilight would be up to those kind of hyjinx...except maybe using a number of them for diversions, like leading Frankie and Mr. Harryman away from the REAL twilight as she hunts down Smartypants.
Hmmm... a looming identity crisis is upon us...
Proceed good author. Proceed
I feel like copy ponies will be shallow copies while one is mostly alike but without magic. Also many pinkies shall not be enough.
Heh, I just watched Double Rainboom, and had an urge to read a Fanfic like this (The ending had Bloo!!)
Now I is happy.
I am now reading your author's notes in Eduardo's voice.
PleeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEase write more, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!
I await the next chapter.
3237065
In progress (sliightly slowed down by my laptop being in the shop, but moving forward )
Twilight Sparkle: "Um... Why do some of you unicorns look like me?"
Purple Unicorn Number One: "Hi! I'm Twilight Sporkle!"
Purple Unicorn Number Two: "Hi, I'm Twilight Spackle!"
Purple Unicorn Number Three: "Hi, I'm Nitwit Dorkle - Please don't ask..."
Purple Unicorn Number Four: "Ahbabbu abba dabble!"
Purple Unicorn Number Three: "And her human was too young to have learned how to speak..."
Twilight Sparkle: "That still doesn't explain why four of you look like me..."
I cannot wait to see how this'll turn out.
You have yourself a new follower!
4174914
Thank you very much. Look for an update soon.
Soooo..... is it alive
4964178
I recovered more lost files and have been banging away this week, so cross your hooves for this week.
4965386 Crossed all four
Ugh, I never liked this "stupid is funny" "so randumb" cartoon. "Look, it's another wacky character with a tenuous grasp on reality who is making us do things we're uncomfortable with! Will the hilarity never end?"
But... the story itself is passable, and you do the best characterization of Twilight I can think of. Giving it a solid maybe.
5196041
At least Bloo is not the main character in this so there's a limit on the damage the perpetual 5-year-old can do, and Twilight has experience dealing with Pinkie Pie.
Seems interesting, but two questions:
one, I thought smarty pants was a pony doll, what made you decide it was a donkey?
Two, is this still being written? I'm not the kinda Guy who calls out 'dead' at the drop of a hat, but you haven't touched it for two years.
if you could clarify it would be absolutely spiffing
5946067
The donkey part came from some adorable pics on Furaffinity of Smarty-pants as a donkey foal, playing with dolls of the mane 6. the links should be somewhere in earlier posts here. If not I'll find and repost them. Asidefrom major health problems there had been the extra hurdle of my nearly completed chapters crashing wth my old laptop. Ive rescued some notes but need to rewrite the chapters from scratch. Keep poking on me and I'll get them rewritten soon.
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Good work