• Member Since 19th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 12th, 2023


A guy who writes things.

Stuff I'm Working On

Recent Good Stuff

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Well, hello there. :3

I thought that might be the intent but the transition to make me really feel it was just missing to the point it left me a bit confused and thinking I actually skipped a paragraph. It's all good, though. If the worst flaw that someone gleans from a casual reading is something like that, things can't have gone too badly, after all!

I get the same way as far as critiques and discussing stories though, it's just hard to judge how defensive people will be sometime. Glad to hear we seem to be on the same wavelength. :twilightsmile: If anything else comes to mind and you want to hear it, I'll be sure to mention it, then!

Okay, the closest to an explanation I got for that scene is that Trixie actually understood, as you said she should. Actually, she felt the need to mask herself since, as she mentions too, the entirety of Twilight's notes are objective proof that she's not a pony anymore. Heck, she isn't even a pony's corpse anymore; Being mainly made out of necroplasm means Trixie has become something physically different. But to be honest, half of that explanation is author saving throw and the other half comes from the seat of my pants. :twilightsheepish:

By all accounts, feel free to keep the critiques, that's the only plausible way the story can improve. Well, could have, as it's pretty much coming to an end. However, I really enjoy the discussion about stories and stuff like it.

I actually noticed that. It's the sort of thing I like doing in my own writing, so it wasn't quite what I was complaining about. It's part of why I like the story. It just seems like every so often she'll be acting collected and intelligent in her own way as the story has built her up, then she'll take an idiot ball to the face for about five lines for a joke without there being any transition or sign that Trixie is just playing along for the sake of it, beyond her old boastful personality.

The example I'd give that actually made me step back and go "wait, what" is from one of the more recent chapters, specifically the fiasco over the word dense. It's not that it's not funny, but it comes from the far-left field with how Trixie is characterized. It's presented as if she's reacting honestly to the situation and not just messing with Twilight, but Trixie's shown as being far smarter than what that exchange implies everywhere else, and she's not already angry at anything so she's not merely snapping because she's pissed at something else.

It's not exactly a deal-breaker or even an important plot area in terms of Trixie herself. The important part is the information being conveyed by Twilight, but it was removed enough from the character the story has presented Trixie as that the first couple times I read it, I was confused and thought I missed something with how the comedy ball got started. I'd cite one or two other things from older chapters to give you a better idea of what I'm getting at but I'd have to give them another read-through due to how much time's passed.

Like I said, I wouldn't worry about it that much. It's just the main criticism I can remember also being true of the older chapters in some degree off the top of my head. :twilightsheepish:

You know, in a very early stage, and I mean before writing down the original one-shot, I was going to have Trixie dying multiple times in order to 'test' her regeneration. Of course, the tone of the series was going to be way more humorous back then. All in al, I'm glad Nightwalker stepped in and helped into giving the story a more defined identity.

Now, on the personality changes, yes, I agree, but there's an explanation for it: it's a plot-point.

Identity is a heavy element in the story and Trixie's own problems with keeping hers is part of the conflict. In more relaxed scenes (as you noted, mostly in the comedy ones), Trixie falls back in her old show mannerisms, while in the more serious ones she mounts the act of being more collected and finally, in the more demanding moments, she gives up to the pressure. Trixie's even self aware of this to some extent, as after coming back as a monster she contemplates if she's a pony dreaming about being a monster, or a monster who once dreamed of being a pony. She retakes this in the first part of the final chapter, when talking to Twilight.

But again, maybe we overdid it at some points, as the immersion-interrupting moment you're talking about.

Really hope you enjoy the grand finale.

No problem! I've followed it back since it was a one-shot but for some reason never favorite'd it. I eventually re-discovered it and decided to fix that after catching up, though it seems things are pretty close to the end now. That's not a bad thing, though, since when Trixie got revived the second time I was a bit worried the story was just going to start padding itself out just for the sake of continuing with additional wrenches getting thrown in to "keep things interesting", but I'm glad to see that's not the case.

The main criticism I can offer is that it sometimes feels like Trixie bounces between two personalities based on the needs of the plot or the comedy, but there's only one time I can think of that it was bad enough to take me out of the story. (Outside of the times that the Alicorn Amulet is influencing her behavior, that is.)

Can't wait to see how things wrap up!

Hey, glad you liked Actually, I'm Dead, thanks for reading. Since I'm always interested in my readers' opinions, I would like to know yours too.

Have a Bowie's thumbs up.

No need to thank me! I tried it on a whim and found it surprisingly enjoyable. :pinkiesmile:

Thanks for adding You Can't Help Who You Love to your favorites!

The entire story is wedged between Seasons 2 and 3 (as it was Published before Season 3 started), as its description notes, and had no Alternate Universe elements until after later seasons started airing, creating a single problem retroactively. The only element it contains is in the description - mainly, that the specific episode Magic Duel can't happen in the same continuity as this story, as its content cannot be reconciled with this story, and it was aired after Publish, not before.

Also, as Magic Duel has almost no bearing on... well, anything in the overall canon, it's not been made retroactively AU in any meaningful way. Hence, why I say adding Alternate Universe retroactively to a story that was not Alternate Universe on publication would be false advertising. Not only is it not common practice (at least in my experience) to do such things to ongoing stories that are non-AU but later become AU because of new episodes, but in this specific circumstance, the only event violated is what's essentially a meaningless filler episode that doesn't prevent any events after it from occurring. I also don't (intentionally, anyway) violate the canon before the Publish Date, nor do I make an active attempt to disrupt anything else that's occurred in an episode after Publish. I leave a note in the description for readers who find the story these days so they know what they're getting into, but that's me personally letting people who don't look at Publish Dates know what they're getting into, and again not common practice by authors, to my knowledge.

I can understand the confusion though, as it's such an old story that still gets random updates 4 years after being published!


You're welcome. I thought the AU tag is necessary because the story seems to be veering off from the show canon timeline, unless you plan that the Mane Six will still continue on with their daily routine, and Twilight will still ascend to Alicornhood?

Yes. My ability to sit and write comes and goes, as the chapter posting dates suggest, but it'll be done as its able. Thanks for your interest! Even when I'm not able to get on here much, its always great to see new people get interested in the story for when I can get back to it!

Alternate Universe isn't tagged because the original post date didn't require it. (The original writing was before the start of Season 3.) The canonical divergence also isn't large even when considering adding it retroactively, so while I could add it, the small disclaimer in the description seems more appropriate, and leaves readers properly knowing what to expect, as opposed to an Alternate Universe where anything can go.

Mystery isn't tagged because the Mystery tag did not exist at the time of publishing (its a pretty recent tag) and while the story has Mystery elements that are key to the plot, it isn't structured in a way someone attempting to find a "Mystery" story to read would be looking for. The Mystery drives Cloud and his companions, but the story isn't about the Mystery. The story is about Cloud and his companions' interactions in a way that often can be best equated to Slice of Life, though its not tagged as such for similar reasons as to why I've not tagged it with Mystery retroactively.

Dark isn't used because the story, while containing dark elements, is not tonally dark. Bad things happen, but as many commenters have noted, the story keeps an upbeat and optimistic tone no matter how bad things get - something that wouldn't be expected in something appropriately labeled Dark.

Tragedy is used for its literary definition - a series of terrible events encountered and caused by a heroic individual (Cloud, in our case), and combined with Comedy, denoting that the path to our terrible events isn't always as serious and dignified as a straight-Tragedy. This is what's often called the Tragic Comedy. Death, while common in both genres, isn't strictly required for the requirements of either a Tragedy or a Tragic Comedy to be met. This is also another reason why there is no Dark tag - the elements that would otherwise require it are properly qualified by the Tragedy tag, as the growing buildup to the Tragedy's final payout.

You're right on the Gore tag, though - I don't get knee-deep into gratuitous violence but I sometimes skirt a line where tagging it is better than not. I've added it now.

Again, thanks for the interest, and for the feedback! ^^

Hey there. I just wanted to say I really like how you're doing with the story. But I like to point out a few things that need to be addressed, such as tags. If your story is not going to be canon with the show, you should add Alternate Universe. Mystery and Dark should be added as well as Gore, the latter because of the fight with the shape-shifting cloaks and the diamond dog, Beethoven. Tragedy is not needed unless there will be deaths of current characters.

Other than that, the story is fine. Keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

Are you still working on My Little Fantasy?

I like yor ff7 story so far i havent played it other than the first reactor at the beginning but i think you capture him and every pony else aswell and even redeem trixie good job my good sir.

Would you mind checking out a short one shot I wrote called "The Line". I would really appreciate it, and constructive criticism is always highly valued! ^-^ Sorry for posting it on your userpage, but my PM's don't seem to be working as of right now.

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