(Madam Foster's Crossover) Twilight has been searching for Mr. Smartypants for months. In desperation she casts a spell to take her to her beloved foalhood friend. Where she ends up is unlike anything she ever imagined...
(Madam Foster's Crossover) In the months since the now infamous mess her friends simply called the "Lesson Zero" incident. Twilight has been increasingly desperate to find her old fillyhood dolly friend, Mr. Smartypants. In desperation, she casts a spell to take her to her old friend, but finds herself in front of a strange manor house painted in eye-watering colors. She doesnt' know which is stranger; these "humans" or the creatures they thought up? -And why would her beloved doll be in this crazy place...?
In the daylight, there was a strange, towering mansion at the most quiet part of a lonely street. A lonely street a mile beyond the railroad tracks at the edge of town, far off in the most outlying district and thus the most quiet area in the city limits. This place might have fit right at home in Equestria as the Estate of some landed and titled Noble of Canterlot, or even the home of the rich unicorn playboy, Fancypants, -Assuming one could ignore the sickly trees dotted here and there around it, or the eye-watering colors it was painted in, much less the high tension power lines it was perched beneath, bathing the place in a constant low trickle of Electromagnetic Radiation...
In the raging, stormy night however, it might have looked more like the home of the legendary Tirek the Terrible of the First Age of Chaos.
For the long eared silhouette racing to the front door through the rain, it had the odd feel of home as she was drawn to the place like a magnet. A slate colored hoof pressed on the doorbell underneath the bronze plaque, bearing the name; "Madam Foster's"
The door creaked open to reveal a pale, teenaged human redhead. Her eyes went wide at what she saw on the front stoop. "Oh My!.."
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One fine day in Equestria…
Twilight sat on the balcony of the Golden Oaks library, looking out over Ponyille. It had been weeks since her little... "accident" Well, accident is too inadequate to describe her full-blown mental “episode” and causing a riot that could have gotten somepony badly hurt with a badly used "Want it, Need it" spell.
While nopony was hurt, it caused her beloved mentor to use The Royal Canterlot Voice for the first time in living memory.
-ON HER.
-And a long talk in the library to explain herself, where she found out how much her friends and her Princess both cared about her.
Unfortunately, it also caused the incidental disappearance of her old Mr. Smartypants doll in the confusion of Celestia dispelling the "Want it, Need it" enchantment. She had searched all over the park for several days when she could do it without being obvious.
Since then, she has tried to be subtle about finding Mr. Smartypants, only to be thwarted at every turn. Now, she had no other option.
Gingerly, she pulled out a very special book of spells, the Book of the Lost.
With exacting patience, she drew out the runes and circles for the ancient enchantment, Frostfire's Spell of Finding. It had taken several weeks of preparation to get things just right for the casting; The chalk had come from the White Cliffs of Manehattan Point, the entrance to Manehattan Harbor. The colored sands were painstakingly collected from the Gallopacos islands, and the Amber obtained through Rarity, with her access to the gem traders from Camelon. Fortunately the Unyasi Zebrican Incense were easily prepared by Zecora, sparing her a trip to Canterlot to ask the Zebra Ambassador from Unyasi.
Finally, several hours into it, the setup preparations were done, all she had to do was cast the last part of the spell. Suddenly, Spike hugged her leg as tight as he could, his eyes on the verge of tears "Twilight! Stop! What if this screws up somehow!"
Gently, Twilight removed the baby dragon with her magic and hugged him. "Don’t worry Spike. This will only take me to where Mr. Smartypants is. All I have to do is grab her, chew out whoever had her, and walk home. Easy peasy! How far can she have gotten anyway for hoof's sake? She's a doll!"
Spike did not look convinced "Wouldn’t it be easier to have Rarity make a new one?"
Wide-eyed, Twilight blushed like a tomato "Ummm, NO! This was given to me by Shiny himself out of his allowance money! It was a gift of love from my BBBFF! Even if I did try having Rarity make a new one, she'll ask who it's for! She'll see through any story I come up with! I'm a grown pony! I-I just cant'!" She kissed Spike on the forehead "I'll only be gone no later than lunch. If I’m gone longer than that, then write to the Princess for help, okay?"
Still visibly worried, he nodded "All right, Twilight. Just be careful, okay?"
She put on her best brave face and posed dramatically "You can count on me, Spike! Now get back upstairs. The spell might have a dangerous backlash after I leave."
Now she waited until he scampered up the stairs and out of the basement floor, before her horn flared, adding the last part of the spell.
Her teleportation spell fired off as normal while the larger spell took and directed it, everything becoming a bright white light around her, shining through even her tightly shut eyelids.
*CRACK!*
The sound of vacuum breaking echoed off nearby walls as the 'port ended.
Cautiously, the lilac mare opened her eyes and looked around in horror! She was sitting on a black...ish surface, more of a faded charcoal really, that smelled of tar and crisscrossed with cracks that had starved blades of grass poking through. She snorted dismissively. The cobblestone roads of Ponyville were better maintained, for Celestia's sakes.
A small forest of pine trees was to her left alongside the street that was lined in both directions with Manehattan style sidewalks. The street made a right-angle turn at a huge red brick building about a quarter mile away. The few houses on the street seemed to be low, boxy one-story affairs, almost like bad imitations of ranch houses in Appleoosa.
Well, except for the huge, elaborate, and somewhat… forlorn estate before her.
True, the outer fence was a low marble-faced wall topped with wrought-iron fencing, kept in meticulous repair and complete with an ornate iron sign topping the gateway posts. After casting a translation spell, she found the sign read “Fosters”.
The grounds were the first sign something was off, looking quite drab compared to even the lowest holdings of minor nobility such as the House of Sparkle. Mother would be aghast at the state of the estate's lackluster grounds. “If there is a groundskeeper for this place, he is seriously overpaid!”
-And finally, the house! The house somehow reminded her of the houses of Solstice Heights beyond Canterlot Proper, but the color!? Mother would be as appalled as Rarity would be at the sight of this dump! "Oh Celestia! Did Pinkie Pie paint this house? Where in Equestria am I?"
Quickly, she pulled the world map out of her saddlebag and set her enchanted homing compass needle on it. Unfortunately the tiny red arrow spun in place without stopping until she seized it. Slowly and deliberately, trying to put off the inevitable completion of her chain of thoughts, she put both back into her saddlebag.
Finally she could put it off no longer, putting her face in her hooves with heartfelt "Oh... Roadapples..."
Worried, she looked up at the sky. The sun above seemed subtly... wrong. It didn’t seem to be moving right, nor did it seem to have a personally loving warmth to it once she opened her magic senses to it. The clouds were also moving oddly, like the ones she had seen in the *gulp* Everfree!
Slowly, she turned in place, stopping when she saw a creature on the other side of the street. It stood on it's lawn, wearing a green sweater and tan slacks like a Canterlot Nuveau-Riche Preppie as it watered its lawn. The creature turn a long, flat, pale face to her, framed in a patchy white mane, and wrinkled like Granny Smith.
Sighing in relief, the magical mare let loose the breath she was holding when it shook its head dismissively. It grumbled to itself and went back to what it was doing. Apparently creatures like her were a common enough sight to even be dismissed as a...nuisance?!
For the next ten minutes, she just sat where she was near the curb. She found herself trying not to hyperventilate as she fought to control her panic at most definitely finding herself trapped on an alien world until either the Princess comes to rescue her or she finds her own way back. Closing her eyes, she spoke to herself to try and calm down “Come on, Twilight. You can calm down. The inhabitants don’t seem to be a threat and are ignoring you. Think, Twilight! What would Princess Celestia do?”
As if the universe was laughing at her attempts to calm down, a huge lumbering shape walked past on the cracked sidewalk that made her look up in surprise.
A Minotaur?! Here?! Not like any Minotaur she had ever seen either, his mouth filled with huge fangs like a picket fence, and his eyes as huge as dinner plates. His physique and horns put even Iron Will to shame as he was more like Tom the fake diamond wrapped in a fur coat. His meager clothing was not reassuring either, dressed as a warrior right down to a silver skull belt buckle and barbaric laced-together leather pants. –Leather, for Celestia’s sakes! Horrified, Twilight did her best to look non-threatening or even delicious as the enormous bull stomped past.
Surprised, the purple bull stopped and did a double take, and walked back to peer down with genuine concern at the lavender unicorn. It definitely worried him that one of her eyes were twitching and that an increasing number of hairs on her navy mane and tail were definitely sticking out in stress. Well, Eduardo could not let a fellow Imaginary Friend sit there feeling lost and scared -Or anyone else for that matter… He screwed up his courage and spoke to the pretty unicorn. “Hola, Seniorita! Ees you lost? You look so sad! …That make Eduardo sad…”
Stunned, Twilight sat up on her haunches. While his voice sounded like a cement mixer, it had an innocent, foal-like quality to it like Pipsqueak did, even if it had a strong Caballo accent. Strangely it somehow made her think of Big Macintosh as he must have been as a foal. Clearly this was not like any Minotaur she had heard of back on Equis. “Er, yes. M-my name is Twilight, Twilight Sparkle! E-excuse me sir, I am looking for something. My spells led me here. It… It points to that strange house over there!”
His face brightened up, the terrifying fangs somehow curving into a charming smile “Oh! SI! SI! Is Señora Fosters! Is good home to monstrous like Eduardo!“
Taking a deep breath, Twilight screwed up her courage ‘All right Twilight Sparkle, time to do some investigating while you wait for Princess Celestia to save your flank…’ She looked into those enormous, googly eyes that she could swear was larger than even Pinkie Pie’s when she was on a sugar rush bender. “So, um, are there any… dolls in there, Mr. Eduardo?”
Giggling like a foal, the Minotaur bounced on his hooves, bouncing her several inches into the air with each hop. No wonder the sidewalk and road was cracked. “Si! Me have many dollies! Would pretty unicorn Twilight please have tea party with Eduardo?! Me have real cookies, and Señorita Frankie will let me use real tea today!” He got down on his stumpy hooves and knees, pleading. “Pretty Pleeeeeeeeese!?”
Rubbing her chin in thought, Twilight considered the invitation while the Minotaur visibly sweated, awaiting her decision. If Mr. Smarty Pants had somehow come into this Minotaur’s possession, she would have the doll back in just a few minutes. If he didn’t have her, then she would be in the place she felt the spell leading her to. -And if this was a trap leading to a stewpot, well, she wasn’t the most powerful unicorn in a thousand years for nothing, right? The end of this mess was in sight!
Finally standing up, Twilight dipped her head in thanks to the monster. “Of course! I would love to Mr. Eduardo. I’m sure it will be a fine tea party with your dollies.”
With a resounding “YAYYY!” the Minotaur scooped her up in his massive treetrunk arms and ran to the manor house, giggling like a school foal.
Twilight only had time to wonder what she had gotten herself into before the beast raced at Pinkie Pie speeds up onto a broad mahogany porch that could accommodate the Princesses and their Guard Detail quite nicely. The Magical Mare only had time to notice elegantly carved wooden doors before Eduardo slammed the burgundy painted double-doors open like a runaway train…
On entering the Foyer of the mansion, Twilight’s view of the world stopped swinging side to side and abruptly came into focus, faced with a teeming horde of creatures seemingly straight from Tartarus. Some were jumping up and down in Eduard’s way to see what he brought in. Hopefully they weren’t competing for dinner…
Over all this confusing bizarreness confronting Twilight was a strange, bouncy music. It was hard to place but similar to the awful Boogie-Woogie Swing Music the famous Authoress, Jade Singer was known to listen to. Yes, it was fitting music to all this madness.
Suddenly, a horrible, lemon yellow creature wearing a jeweled turban and a coat that *shudder* appeared to be made from mink skins stood up in front of Eduardo and Twilight. She snarled angrily through her sideways mouth, then snorted through her short elephant trunk, acting remarkably like some Canterlot Noble snob. Angrily, the monster stormed over to a record player much like her own sitting on an end table, her motions revealing she was 2-Dimensional like a Ponehcasso painting come to life.
Fuming, the beastly female yanked the needle across the record with a nerve-wracking screech. “NO! Zis! Weel! Not! Do! Dahlink! This... THIIIIS Song!”
Twilight could somehow practically hear the capitalization of each and every word as she said them.
Immediately, a menacing military march started playing, sending shivers up her spine and thoughts of the last Griffon Kingdom/Equestria war in the history books. The creature cackled in triumph like a movie serial villaness. “THAT Ees Te’ Only Song On That Record Worthy Of Ze Dutchess!!”
To Twilight’s shock, the record player opened up googly eyes on its front and stood up from the table on spindly green bird legs. “Sheesh! Yeah, 'dat song fits youse all right. Would it kill yas' ta’ ask nicely?! Its not like the soundtrack album ta' “Star Wars” is easy ta' come by in vinyl anymore, ya' know!”
Horrified, Twilight looked around the main hall and the crowd of bizarre but mostly friendly creatures "I wonder if this is what it's like in Pinkie's head...”
Just like a five-year-old, Eduardo seemed to have forgotten he was even holding her as he talked with some of the strange beasts. One looked like a cross between a duck and a palm tree, with odd mechanical bits added in, the other was tall and slender like a bamboo stick and a head like a red dandelion. Unlike the other monsters, this one was obviously missing an arm and had an eye injury -and not made that way.
Looking away in pity, she took the time to examine the Foyer and Entrance Hall, easily as large as that of the ones in the old section of the Canterlot Palace. The (formerly) opulent grandeur was offset by the odd color choices, but at least walls of a light pink with carnation trim were not an eye-watering horror like portions of the outside had been. She started to wonder of some of the creatures were color blind. “That might explain a few things. Oh, Eduardo, can you see in color?”
Pausing in surprise, the minotaur blinked several times and looked down, suddenly remembering the unicorn mare. He bent down really close to her ear and whispered “Oh? Oh! Si! Me see in colours! Many colours! Sadly, Fredrico the paint brush… He cannot. Is really sad, so no one tell him he paint wrong colour. Señora Foster make it a rule that no one tell Fredrico, ever! Si?”
Stifling a giggle, Twilight nods in sudden understanding. Apparently most of the creatures here were as kind as they were strange, “Ze Dutchess” notwithstanding…
The amazingly tall red creature bent down at the waist to look at her, his shoes making squeaking noises with every move. “Oh! Hello! I’m sorry I didn’t notice you under Eduardo’s arm like that. My name is Wilt, and this is Coco. Welcome to Madam Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends. We are, as you can tell, Imaginary Friends.” He added with a wink He brought his spindly arm up to rub his chin. “…Did Eduardo bring you in here from the Unicorn Stables? You look awfully familiar...”
Waving a hoof hello, Twilight gave a cheerful smile, which slowly drooped into a puzzled frown “…Unicorn what? Ah-heh-hehh… Let’s try this again, I am Twilight Sparkle. I just got here following a spell…”
==+==+==+==+==+==
Above, on the main stairwell landing, a cylindrical blue blob with a bored frown on his face shuffled his way along and stopped to peer over the railing at the chaos below in the Foyer. “Same old, same old... Man, Mac better get here soon, I’m dyin’ of Boooordom! Bored, bored, bored…”
An arched eyebrow formed on his fluid face as he noticed an out-of-place flash of lavender, and looked at Eduardo. “Oh Geeeeez! Another Twiblight Sporkle! How original! Doesn’t anyone have an original Imaginary Friend these days? I mean really? Next thing you know we’ll get imaginary Aquabats... Wait! That actually would be cool for a change!” he finishes with a laugh.
==+==+==+==+==+==
Meanwhile, the three imaginary friends were crowded around Twilight as she sheepishly finished her explanation. “…And here I am. Embarrassing, huh?”
Wilt flashed a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry if we all frightened you, Twilight. Then again, I am surprised seeing Dutchess didn’t send you out the door screaming if you’ve never met an Imaginary Friend before.” He waved his hand in an arc meaning the entire estate “Since we were all created by children, this place has all kinds of dolls as you can imagine. We even have an Imaginary Donkey that repairs them for everyone. If your doll is here, you will find her. Well, have fun with Eduardo and good luck in your adventure. We can meet back up later and I’ll have my autograph book!”
After a moment he added “And if you need any help, look for one of us or the kid that comes here every day, Mac. Don’t ask that giant rabbit, Mr. Herriman, or our human caretaker, Frankie. I am sorry, but they won’t believe you are real. Mr. Herriman tends to ignore his Imaginary Friend senses since he’s a big ol’ stick in the mud. We can feel you aren’t one of us.” Coco hopped up and down, shouting “COCO!” in agreement.
Suddenly Wilt leaned in really close to whisper in her ear “And, if you see this blue trashcan lookin’ thing. Try to avoid him until Mac arrives at Three o’clock. Bloo is very friendly but he might prank you or get you in trouble. That seems to be his specialty when his boy, Mac is not here.”
Nodding in thanks, Twilight replied “Thanks Wilt, I will remember that... Sayyy… Why do you want my autograph? I’m just a regular ol’ Unicorn as far as you know.”
Before Wilt could answer, Eduardo gave a horrified gasp. “Ai! Peligro!Señor Herriman! We go now!”
Wilt looked over his shoulder at someone coming, then back at Twilight. “I’m sorry, I’ll tell you later. We’ll cover for ya! Go Eduardo!”
After a hurried “Si!”, the Minotaur bull was charging to the stairs while Wilt and Coco were suddenly mobbing a strange looking six-foot tall rabbit dressed like a Canterlot Noble, asking him a flood of pointless questions.
As the scenery changed in Twilight’s view, looking backwards in Eduardo’s arms, she saw the colors and décor changed drastically with each new turn. Something was familiar about the layout, but she could not put her hoof on it…
Suddenly, Eduardo turned through a door and into a kitchen where he set Twilight down. “Me think we lost him! We must get the tea and cookies before we meet my dollies, Señorita Twilight. Pick the tea you like. Me will get cookies!”
Snapping a salute like Rainbow Dash, then giggling, Twilight trotted around, giving each of the teas a sniff before finding one called “Orange Pekoe” She turned back to Eduard, still looking down at the can of tea floating in her magic. “This one smells nice. How about…” She finally saw what Eduardo was doing and tapped a hoof on the floor. “Ummm. You might want to put some of those back, Eduardo. This is just a small tea party.”
Blinking, Eduardo looked at Twilight, then at the dozen boxes of cookies in his arms. After a moment, he sheepishly put them back. “Me sorry Twilight, me love cookies so much! Muy bueno!”
Giggling, Twilight used her magic to put the tea kettle she found on the stove to boil. “It’s quite all right, Eduardo.”
Soon , Eduardo was pushing a tea cart down the hallways to what he called the Tea Room. “My Dollies are already there and waiting on me. The poco burro, she take care of my dollies for me. That way, Bloo no break them when me is not there. He play too rough with things that are no his…”
Twilight peeked out from under the sheet covering the cart “This… "Blue" is starting to sound like trouble. Is he really nice?”
Stopping to open the door, Eduardo shook his head “Bloo is very nice. Is loyal friend. But… He no think! Is very reckless. No ask before playing with things. So, me leave Dollies with the Imaginary Friend who make and repair dollies.”
Twlight giggles as she climbs out of the cart to enter the room. “He sounds a lot like one of my friends, Rainbow Dash. I think you would like her. She’s a Pegasus who can go faster than sound.”
Eduardo grins as he sets the plate of cookies on a small, round table. There are seven dolls, most looked like the same type of creature as she had seen across the street, or in paintings hanging on the walls of this house. The last was a fluffy teddy bear with a red ribbon around his neck. “Me think she sound bueno! Very nice! These my Dollies! This is Roja the Bear, Barbi, Wanda, Rosa, Daisy, and the last two are especial! This is a doll of my person, Nina, when she was little girl, and this last, she is Frankie, our caretaker.”
Coming up to the table, Twilight pulled up a pillow to sit on and took a good look “Oh my! Whoever did those last two dolls is as good as Rarity in sewing!” She levitated the tea and poured some for herself and Eduardo “I was really hoping you could help me find mine, Mr. Eduardo. That’s what my spell brought me here to find. She’s a little grey donkey.”
Ears twitching, the Minotaur looked at her “Ooooh! Si! The dollie maker! She may know! We go to her after…”
“EDUARDO!”
Both creatures gasped and turned to the door, where the real Frankie stood with her hands on her hips “Eduardo! Did Mr. Herriman give you permission to bring one of the Unimaginative Unicorn Friends inside? Half of them aren’t housetrained! I know the My Little Pony ones don’t scar up the flooring because their hooves are so soft, but Rules are Rules, Ed. Guess who’s butt is in a wringer if that stuck-up, lop-eared prig finds her in here? Me!”
To Twilight’s shock, the huge minotaur seemed to curl up inside himself. “But… but.. Frankie!! She no Imaginar…”
Frankie raised her hand to stop him. “Uh-uh! Talk to the hand, cos’ the girl aint’ listenin’! She is going back to the Unicorn Stables with me.”
Twilight gasped “Wait, what?! I think there’s been some kind of mistake!”
The red-headed twentysomething reached into her purse and pulled out a red plastic egg “I knew I had one! Come on! Be a halter or muzzle…”
Sighing, the magical mare rolled her purple eyes as the girl popped the egg open to find a halter. “Wait! Look, I’ll go with you as long as you do not even try to put a halter on me. Just listen and I’ll explain on the way, okay?”
Fuming, Frankie rolled her eyes “Ugh, fine! Come on then. I don’t want to find out you are one of the non-housebroken ones the hard way…”
Fuming, Twilight started to follow along, when a black-painted metal horn on the wall jolted and jumped as it crackled to life. “MISS FRANCES! YOUR PRESENSE IS REQUESTED IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM!”
Putting a hand to her face in frustration, Frankie growled and gritted her teeth. “He has the worst timing in the universe! Look! Miss Terrible Vampire Soap Opera…”
“TWILIGHT!!”
“Whatever... I can’t put my finger on it right now, but there’s something weird about you. I’ll talk to you later. –In the Unicorn Stables!”
Turning, Frankie waved to a giant monster about twenty or thirty feet tall, just managing to fit in the Canterlot-scale hallways. “Hey, Big Guy! Would you do me an awesome favor and take this Unicorn to the Unicorn Stables?”
The creature smiled huge picket-fence fangs and picked up a terrified Twilight. “Shore thing Miz Frankie! It’ll give me a chance ta’ try my act with those winged unithingies!”
As he stomped down the hall, Frankie called after him “..And no prop-comedy involving sledge-hammers and fruits or vegetables! That’s their dinners!”
Meanwhile, Eduardo was frantic! He had to go help Twilight! He was moving to follow the big monster to the stable when a blue streak zipped by him. Bloo was holding Eduardo’s dolls over his head, giggling like a loon and racing the opposite direction down the hall.
Twilight would still be in the stable when he got his Dollies back, but for now, HIS DOLLIES NEEDED HIM!
