• Published 10th Feb 2013
  • 9,675 Views, 125 Comments

Trial Run - UnlicensedBrony



Rainbow Dash and Applejack are convinced that a relationship between them wouldn't work. Rarity believes otherwise. Determined to prove her wrong, Rainbow agrees to a 'three date trial' with Applejack...

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Epilogue: Hearts and Hooves Evening

It was late evening when Rainbow Dash finally collapsed into the spare bed that she'd dragged into Applejack's room. She let out a drained sigh as the aching weight of a million and one chores melted from her legs.

“What's the matter, RD? You tired or somethin'?”

She lazily rolled her head and flung a look towards the farmpony, who had just hopped up onto the other bed, across the room. “We're done, right?” groaned Rainbow. “Moved junk, cleaned barn, baled hay... we can take the rest of the week off, right?”

Applejack gave a bark of laughter and laid down on her back atop the mattress. “Sorry, sugarcube, but we ain't even touched that list of chores I mentioned. If you want a break, you'd better work harder tomorrow!”

Rainbow groaned again. “Harder? You're not a farmpony, you're a slave driver! Remind me why I agreed to this.”

“'Cause you're sweet on me,” Applejack chirped.

As hard as she tried, Rainbow couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face, though she did her best to hide it by burying her head in the pillow. “...Shut up,” she grumbled, drawing another chuckle from Applejack.

If she was honest, it really hadn't been so bad. Well, the chores had been pretty bad... not so much a healthy workout as backbreaking, hard labour. But hanging out with Applejack had been as much fun as she'd hoped, even with all the jeers and taunts Rainbow got for being built for speed rather than endurance. She'd managed to get in a few playful stabs of her own though.



As the silence dragged on and Rainbow's fatigue began to fade away, she dragged her head out of the pillow and rolled over to face Applejack. The farmpony was still staring up at the roof with an unusually girlish smile on her lips... probably thinking about the kiss. Rainbow knew she was, because she, herself, had done the exact same thing the night before.

She let Applejack daydream for another minute or so before speaking up. “So, AJ, I hear you've got a new farmhoof working around here,” she said casually.

A smirk spread across Applejack's face, and she brought a hoof up to her nose as if to hide it. “That I do,” she said. “Gotta admit, I'm surprised she made it through today. Pegasus like that is liable to just fly off with that much work thrown at her.”

Rainbow found her own smirk. “But she didn't, right?”

“Nope,” said Applejack, shaking her head. “She didn't. And considerin' how much she hates farm work, I'm starting to think there might be somethin' else going on.”

“Hmm,” Rainbow grunted in mock thought. She rolled over to lay on her back, mimicking Applejack. “I guess I can relate to that—farm work is a pain in the flank. There's gotta be something pretty special on this farm if she'd take on a whole week of chores for it. Any idea what that could be?”

A glance towards the other bed told that Applejack was no longer trying to hide her smirk. “Might be that I do,” she said. “See, I ain't normally one to listen to hearsay, but there's a rumour going around that the pegasus might be a little sweet on the farmpony that works here.”

“No kidding?” said Rainbow, raising her eyebrows.

“And that ain't all,” Applejack continued. “I heard another rumour the other day, 'cept that one says it's the farmpony who's got a crush on the pegasus.”

Rainbow let her head roll to the side and faced Applejack properly. “You think there could be anything to those rumours?” she asked, smiling expectantly.

The orange mare gave a cursory grunt and met Rainbow's eyes with a more lop-sided smile. “Nah, can't be. Wouldn't work, y'know?”

Rainbow's smile wavered. She wasn't sure whether Applejack had meant that as more playful banter, but even if it was, it was treading an uncomfortable line. “H-how come?” she managed, not wanting to steer the conversation away in case Applejack actually wanted to talk about it.

The stare with which Applejack fixed her lasted a long moment before she finally broke the silence. “The pegasus says their lives are too different,” Applejack explained. “Says there ain't no way a pegasus like her could be with the farmpony, on account of her wanting to fly off and join some big-shot group up in Cloudsdale some day. And even if the farmpony wanted to come with her, she couldn't, on account of having her whole life down here on the farm...”

Rainbow choked. That answered the question, at least.

It was her own argument, turned back upon her in Applejack's accented voice. 'It wouldn't work' she'd said. She'd always assumed that it applied to both the short term and the long term—that worrying about what would happen eventually would make it impossible for them to have any kind of relationship. But that hadn't been the case yesterday. Or today, in fact. The thought had hardly even crossed her mind.

So she'd been wrong about that, but it didn't change the long term problem...

“What does the farmpony think?” Rainbow found herself asking. If anything, that was a good place to start.

Applejack turned her eyes to the ceiling again, before closing them and breathing a quiet huff. “Don't matter. It don't change the fact that the pegasus is right—”

“It matters to me,” said Rainbow, cutting her off firmly.

The pair of emerald eyes snapped open, but they didn't turn to Rainbow right away. When they did, it was with an honest stare that only Applejack could pull off. “I think none of that mattered yesterday, when we kissed on that hilltop,” she said quietly. “Besides that, I don't know.”

Rainbow grunted and adopted a thoughtful frown as she held Applejack's stare. That made two of them that hadn't been thinking about it... It raised the question as to why Rainbow had come up with the argument in the first place. Maybe it was an excuse—just something that seemed convenient at the time.

“Maybe it doesn't matter,” Rainbow mused aloud. “Maybe I just said it because I was looking for a reason for it not to work.”

Applejack curled her lip. “...'Cause you didn't want it to work?” she guessed.

Rainbow hesitated. Thinking back, she'd never actively wanted things to go badly between them. Part of her had wanted their trial run to be a flunk—in order to prove Rarity wrong—but when that happened on their second date, she felt terrible.

With a bushed huff, the pegasus slid herself to the edge of the mattress and climbed down. She trotted over to Applejack's bed, upon which the farmpony stirred and rose to sit upright. Rainbow didn't wait for permission before hopping up onto the bed and sitting beside her, eyes held low.

“Honestly, AJ, I don't even know,” Rainbow confessed heavily. “All I know is that I was determined to make it work yesterday, and I was happy when it did. But that doesn't mean I was wrong about there being problems—” She shook her head with a huff. “—I don't even know.”

“...Let's forget it, then,” said Applejack.

A twinge of panic forced Rainbow to look at Applejack, wide-eyed, as her mind started racing again. 'Forget it? Just give up? Is she serious?'

“The future, I mean,” Applejack clarified.

Relief washed over Rainbow, but it only lasted a moment. “Forget the future?” she repeated sceptically. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Applejack reached across with a fetlock and laid her hoof on Rainbow's leg. The farmpony's gaze turned to the middle of the floor, in thought or nervousness, as she spoke. “I know you're gonna go off and join your Wonderbolts someday, RD. And I know you're gonna be real busy... probably too busy for a Ponyville farm girl like me—”

Rainbow opened her mouth to argue, but was silenced by a look from those emerald eyes.

“—But I don't care,” Applejack continued. “As long as we're together now, why does it matter what might happen tomorrow?” She leant forwards and laid a soft kiss on Rainbow's lips, before pulling back with a tiny, expectant smile.

It took a long moment for Rainbow to get over the pleasant shock of the kiss and words both. On defensive impulse, her mind latched on to the strangeness of the sentiment. Once she'd found her voice, she had to point it out...

“Isn't that a little reckless, for you?” she teased, scolding herself for it immediately after.

Applejack just shook her head and smiled wider. “Not even a little bit,” she said confidently. “Ya see, I'm countin' on a certain pegasus' determination to make it work.”

Rainbow blinked. “Huh?”

“I'm talking to the pegasus who pulled off the 'impossible' Sonic Rainboom, aren't I?” said Applejack, with an unnerving coolness in her voice. “If this is really what you want, then there ain't a doubt in my mind that you'll try to make it work. Am I right?”

“Well, yeah,” Rainbow granted, flushing a little from what she was pretty sure was a compliment. “I mean, of course I'll try, but—”

Applejack shut her up by pressing more firmly on her leg. “I've got a feeling that's all it'll take.”

Rainbow opened and closed her mouth a few times, not quite sure what to say to that. “G-geez,” she managed eventually. “Talk about pressure...”

“Didn't mean I expect you to do it alone,” said Applejack, smiling even more warmly. “I'll be trying too, you can count on that.”

“But what if—” This time, Rainbow cut herself off. She'd been about to ask 'What if we don't figure something out?' But she already knew the answer. If they didn't figure something out, then it wouldn't work between them. The thought brought a dark shadow across Rainbow's face.

Applejack obviously noticed, because her constant smile began to falter as the silence dragged on. She let out a sigh and her eyes fell to Rainbow's chest. “Look, sugarcube, I ain't trying to make ya do somethin' ya don't want to,” she said heavily. “I had fun these past few days, and if you want to leave it there... well, I can't say I'm happy 'bout it, but I can understand. 'sides, if ya really think it won't work, then there ain't nothin' I can say that'll make a difference anyway. If it's ever gonna work, we have to both want it.”

“B-but I do want it!” Rainbow threw back. She put her muzzle under Applejack's chin and aggressively lifted it up, before pulling back to meet her eyes determinedly. And then, as she stared into the depths of those startled, emerald pools, it hit her like a sack full of apples to the gut...

'I do want it to work.'

She pursed her lips to stop them from trembling in excitement or anxiety or something else completely. After a long moment of staring, she bit the bullet and did what did best—lived in the moment.

Rainbow Dash leant forwards and captured Applejack in another long, passionate kiss, doing her best to recreate the feeling from the hilltop. Clearly caught off guard, Applejack took a second to adjust before returning the gesture. She put so much weight on Rainbow's leg that it was almost painful, but that was the last thing that the brazen pegasus cared about right then. All she cared about was enjoying the kiss for as long as possible, and showing Applejack that they really did both want the same thing.

When, after what felt like minutes, they finally pulled apart, Rainbow saw that Applejack had found her smile again. The more than content pegasus returned it. Anything more than that seemed... pointless.



Rainbow Dash knew what she wanted. She wanted this to work. And when Rainbow Dash wanted something to work, it worked. Sometimes it might take a while, others it might take no time at all. Whatever the case, there was no doubt in her mind right then.

'I'm gonna make this work,' she promised.

Comments ( 60 )

Lovely. Truly lovely. This is hands down one of my favorite AppleDash fics around. In fact, I think I need to update my profile's favorite list!

Commence read.

Hey an Epilogue. :scootangel:

Great story.

This was a beautiful story.

Oh, I literally just spontaneously combusted (due to excitement) the second I saw this chapter was released. As it is now 1:31 AM, this comment will be rather short, disorganized, and will contain lots and LOTS of grammar errors, I'm sure of it (I don't even know why I'm still up).

Anyway, this chapter... I'm going to be a bit honest here.

It felt a bit... rushed. Not only that, but it also dragged on for a long time (I think I just contradicted myself). What I mean is that the chapter ended on a rather quick note, but at the same time, having Applejack and Rainbow Dash trying to resolve this one conflict dragged on for about... I guess, ~700 words? In addition, in one of your earlier replies to another user, you mentioned you didn't want this story to seem too cliche. While you did achieve originality within your first four to five chapters, this epilogue was sort of... well, unoriginal, for lack of a better word. Rainbow Dash, eventually leaving for the Wonderbolts and Applejack, stuck on the farm, claiming their relationship will not work in the future... eh, for some reason, I'm not really feeling it.

Well, going back to the note of this chapter dragging on, it begins around halfway through the story, when Applejack plays the, "It wouldn't work", card on Rainbow Dash.

Also, another thing that I noticed is Applejack's accent and language is a little bit... funky. For example:

"Don't matter. It don't change the fact that the pegasus is right--”

Despite the fact that Applejack obviously has a southern accent, it doesn't really alter her speech. Sure, she says "mah" instead of "my" or "ah" instead of "I", but in the show, she still uses the word, "doesn't". Just a reminder that she still speaks the same way as everyone else. She may drop a couple of words that stick out, such as "reckon" or "ain't", but she'll still say, "Doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that the pegasus is right."

And for some reason, I felt like this chapter wasn't as strong. Sure, I understand their worries of having to leave each other one day for their respective dreams, but still. Everything felt kind of linear in this chapter, like Rainbow Dash and Applejack could only come to one conclusion, and it just so happens to be the bad end. In most cases, many other AppleDash stories tend to end with RD and AJ, somehow making it work. I'm not saying your story needs to change. It just feels like at first, the two both believe there is no way their relationship can really continue. Keep in mind that Rainbow is the element of loyalty and AJ is the element of honesty. Admittedly, this bit of advice isn't as strong, but it just feels like Rainbow doesn't trust AJ when she says things will be alright.

Anyhow, I can't say I'm disappointed. As usual, your writing style was amazing, and you portray these characters really well. Just a few mistakes is all. The beginning of this chapter was pretty cute. If there's one memorable quote in this chapter, it's got to be this one:

As hard as she tried, Rainbow couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face, though she did her best to hide it by burying her head in the pillow. “...Shut up,” she grumbled, drawing another chuckle from AJ.

Just because it's amazingly cute.

Okay, when I start to get repetitive, it means I'm tired. Before I sign out, I just want you to know that I don't expect you to change your story. Just offering some criticism is all.

Anyway, it's almost 2 am now (wow, spent 20 minutes typing this up). I think I should sleep now.

And as always, keep up the good work!

P.S. In the beginning of my comment, I did mention this was going to be short, right? ... Oops.

2196730
(Oops, so it's 2:46 am now. I should've been asleep an hour ago)

Anyhow, thank you for the compliment. I enjoy writing-- a lot (err, content wise, that is). Whether it be writing stories, typing out reviews, or simply rambling on for hours on end (trust me, I do this sometimes). As a result, I always spew out paragraph after paragraph, and before you know it, my messages get pretty long.

Well, you know, if my strange and somewhat quirky reviews (prior to the one I wrote an hour ago) have helped you, then I'm glad. :raritywink:

I might go ahead and stalk read some of your stories, if you don't mind. :)

I, for once, think that the ending is kinda original. They don't know if it's going to work. The reader doesn't know either. It seems a bit rushed, that's true, but I can't say anything that hasn't been said before. And, well, I'm too busy fangirling over this shit to leave a proper review. Maybe later, when I'm a little less tired, I will say a couple things more. But, for now? I think it's pretty good. I like the tone.

Although, I'm the only one who thought that Rainbow's speech about not fearing anything was foreshadowing? Like, she didn't want the romance to work because she's afraid of relationships or compromise. Which would have been pretty ironic because she's Loyalty, but y'know. She could have been afraid of being too loyal or not loyal enough to AJ, breaking her relationship either with her or with the rest of the mane six. I guess you can read that she's actually afraid of that kind of things but it's never said word-for-word, but I dunno. I was expecting a sudden realization, so I was surprised when the issue dissapeared like that. Meh. I guess it didn't matter so much after all.

Yay, a resolution (sorta).

She put her nuzzle under Applejack's chin and aggressively lifted it up

That would be 'muzzle' :twilightsheepish:

Fantastic ending.

nice work !

I absolutely loved this fic. Great characterization, great pacing, great development. Fantastic work. I wish I could give any form of constructive criticism, but all I can really say is "Keep doing what you're doing, it's working fantastically."

You have been showcase saturday'd. Congratulations!

2196690 :pinkiesad2: Sorry that you didn't like it. Having said that, it's actually good to hear that you don't automatically like the chapter just because you liked the rest of the story, and are kind enough to provide criticism as well. Although I'm done editing the story (because if I keep going then I'll be at it forever, trying to get it perfect), the advice will come in handy for future projects.

I can see what you mean about it being 'rushed but drawn out'. I tried to cram too much into the epilogue - both explaining the problem and 'resolving it' (sort of) in one scene. It might've worked a lot better if I'd managed to work the 'explaining' part into the earlier chapters. But since those chapters are supposed to be about Rainbow not thinking about the problem (because it doesn't matter), I couldn't really see how to weave it in believably.

When I mentioned trying to avoid clichés, I was specifically referring to the 'how could they get together?' part of the story. And I'm content that I've achieved that goal :twilightsmile: But I'm disappointed that the resolution came across as clichéd all the same. Maybe, as I was saying above, it would've worked better if I'd managed to make it more of a major point throughout the story?

Regarding Applejack's speech, I think "Don't matter" definitely sounded (to me) like something she would say in the context. I know she's perfectly capable of speaking 'normally', as it were, but there are times when she doesn't in the show. For example, she occasionally uses "You all" to refer to a single pony, while at other times she uses it correctly - referring to several ponies.

...But after looking back at that section, I'm not so sure of myself... I'll think about changing it.

~

it just feels like Rainbow doesn't trust AJ when she says things will be alright

I have to agree that that's a bit off. Thinking way back to episode one, when Applejack had absolute faith in Rainbow and Fluttershy, she managed to pass that faith onto Twilight (surely enough that she would literally let herself drop from a cliff). In the epilogue, she once again has absolute faith in Rainbow Dash, so she should, in theory, be able to pass it on once again. Unless it's Rainbow's anxiety and secret self-doubt (à la 'Sonic Rainboom') that is so powerful that it keeps her from trusting herself?

Honestly, the characters I write are a mystery to me - they are who they are, and there's a reason for every unusual thing that they do, even if I don't consciously know what it is. That probably sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? :twilightsheepish:

Anyway, I'm glad you liked the cute bit you pointed out. Those little, cutesy gestures are the parts I like writing most (even if they're usually only a line or two). The nose kiss, wing hugs, little affectionate nuzzles - I love them! :rainbowkiss:

Hehe, well thank you for the in-depth comment as usual, and for the criticism that seems to have made my tired brain get overly thoughtful. And I think that's just about the end of my longest reply ever :scootangel:

2196602 Wow! It's amazing to hear that you liked it that much! Thank you for your kind words and for giving the story another read through after the rewrite :pinkiehappy:

2196622 You are very succinct. I like that :twilightsmile: Thank you!

2196681 Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed it!

2196707 Unfortunately, I don't have any ideas or plans for a sequel. I'll be sure to notify everyone with a blog post if an idea pops into my head (as they occasionally do), but it's doubtful :twilightsmile: Thank you for your comments, and for reading!

2196895 :raritystarry: Wow, I can safely say that I've never had one of those before! Thanks very much! And, as I mentioned in the reply just up there ^^^ , I don't have any plans for a sequel at the moment, but I'll let you know if I start writing one!

2197324 Thank you very much :twilightsmile: Having read my other works, you'll probably notice that I'm pretty big on open-endedness and that kind of thing. Thus the 'Will it work or won't it?' question in the epilogue. Although there was another point which I've been consistently trying (and failing) to get across - that it doesn't matter whether it works in the long run, as long as they make the most of the time they have (as opposed to denying themselves until they part, then end up wondering about 'what might have been').

Rainbow's 'no fear' speech was indeed foreshadowing! But what I was trying to foreshadow was Rainbow's fear of losing AJ's trust after Rarity pulled her little prank... Being "afraid of relationships or compromise" is definitely a trait I could imagine Rainbow having though, and the whole loyalty angle would add some intrigue as well. But that's a story for another time (or another writer, perhaps? *nudge* * nudge*)

2197608

(sorta)

...It'll do :ajbemused:

Hehe, thanks for giving me, like, three tries, but I don't think I'm ever going to get it quite right :twilightsmile: As you said, at least this is 'sorta' a resolution, even if it's not ideal.

And thanks for pointing out the typo too!

2199027 Awesome, thank you!

2201110 Thanks!

2204880 :yay: Yay! Thank you very much for the kind words! And double thank you for featuring the story on your tumblr (which looks really cool, by the way). I hope I can keep it up in the future!

2208697
Glad to see you can explain why everything is exactly where they are. :raritywink: Now let me be a bum and comment more. :D

Regarding Applejack's speech, I think "Don't matter" definitely sounded (to me) like something she would say in the context. I know she's perfectly capable of speaking 'normally', as it were, but there are times when she doesn't in the show. For example, she occasionally uses "You all" to refer to a single pony, while at other times she uses it correctly - referring to several ponies.

From how I view Applejack, I think the creators just wanted her to fit the 'Southern stereotype', a.k.a. southern accent, the hat, freckles, being on a farm, and of course, saying "y'all" as much as possible. That being said, I know she occasionally doesn't speak 'normally' in the show, but I don't remember her ever substituting "doesn't" for "don't". I personally think that the "don't matter" line feels more masculine, and while I know AJ is sort of a tomboy, it just didn't feel right to me, but you know, it's a matter of preference, I suppose.

"Doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that the pegasus is right--"

-shrugs-

Also, it's clear that RD didn't care about forming a romantic relationship with AJ in the beginning, but of course, she did gradually begin to accept that she liked her. Even before the kiss, RD could be having some sort of internal conflict, like, "Rarity's kidding herself, there's no way I can get together with Applejack. I mean, I'm a pegasus and she's an earth pony!", something along those lines. This epilogue's conflict came on way too quickly and way too strong from the start.

Buuut anyway, it's not a bad epilogue. Still feels kind of unfinished to me, but again, it's a matter of preference. :twilightsmile:

(And as always, keep up the good work!)

2208881
I said it when you first posted the new version/first chapters/edits. Had you posted this version for the contest, it would have gotten my vote to win in its category. Probably would have from the other judges too. In fact, I want to reread this now all in one sitting :rainbowlaugh:

2212841 Just finished reading this story. Hoped/expected to see you here. Was not disappointed.

2213251
I'm not sure if I should be flattered or worried! :rainbowlaugh:

2213334 If I don't see you somewhere in an Appledash, I worry it either hasn't reached you yet or it wasn't worth my time. So...Flattered? :rainbowhuh:

JAG

So... this proves that, contrary to what I've always thought, AppleDash can be heart-explodingly cute. Nicely done, sir.

This is very, very good. One of the best fanfics i've ever read! :twilightsmile:

2209505 Well, I stick by what I said about Applejack's speech - as you said, it's really a matter of preference. But yeah, I agree with you on all counts of the conflict angle. Looking at the new fic I'm submitting today, it's obvious that I'm not 'there' yet, when it comes to drawing things like that out. But I'll keep trying of course, and I'll get there eventually. :twilightsmile:

2240934 Thanks! Glad that I exploded your vital organs you enjoyed it!

2245384 That's very kind, thank you so much!

It's so refreshing to find an original fan fiction. I've slopped through more cliche on this site than I could possibly count, but this premise wholly original, believable, and in character. That Rainbow Dash and Applejack and would finally get together over a bet is so perfectly fitting I can't believe I've never seen it done before. I was particularly impressed by how well you justified their relationship. Many authors tend to brush over the 'why', leaving readers to fill in the gaps themselves. But you've perfectly answered the why with their interactions here. You haven't left any a doubt in my mind that they work as couple, and this makes for a great gateway AppleDash because of it.

It's a bit too obvious. It's already apparent to anyone how this is going to end from the first few hundred words, but maybe that was the intention. The ending is lacking. The way they so easily brush over their future problems is clumsy and too clearly scripted, as well as simply nonsensical. Your descriptions leave a lot to be desired. There isn't anything wrong with them per se, but they were trite at times and overly bare at others.

This fic is at its best in the simple little moments between AJ and Dash, their dialogue, all of their interplay. A few specific scenes, Rarity's denial of the bet, AJ and Dash's first kiss, Dash buying the ribbon, Dash draping her wing over AJ at the start of their first date, were particularly outstanding and the work really stands out as a shining example of shipping because of them, in spite of any other issues.

2278009 Finding an original, believable premise for getting them together was one of the main goals with this story, so your comment is very encouraging in that aspect. Thanks very much! :pinkiehappy:

I've got to agree with you about the ending. I've written three (maybe four?) different endings now for this story, and I haven't been happy with any of them. I'm not sure that I should've even bothered bringing up future problems. That's not supposed to be the focus of the story - the focus is the "simple little moments", as you put it. In the old, single-chapter version, future problems were an issue, so I've ended up mentioning them in this redux mainly because of that...

Despite having said that I'm done with editing this, I've been tempted to scrap the ending and just have one last cute little scene in its place. Whether or not I'll get around it it, I can't say. I'll think about it.

Your descriptions leave a lot to be desired

This is also very true - I've never been very good at descriptions. I'm always looking to improve, so if you could offer any examples or advice via PM I'd be grateful. Otherwise, I'll be practising.

All that aside, it's great to hear that the interplay and little moments stood out above the rest - I most like portraying the characters' thoughts and feelings through their actions, rather than 'telling' the reader about them directly (and reading stories in which do the same). But I've seen other writers blend the two methods together very effectively, and I'd like to get to that point someday. Good news that, to get there, I have to keep writing, so that means more fics on the horizon! :yay:

2366157 Thanks for pointing that out! Fixed now! (as she went)...

2366464 ...'fantasise' is correct in this context though. EDIT: But there was a missing 'to' in that sentence, which is why it might've seemed otherwise. Fixing now, thanks! :pinkiehappy:

2532028 Haha! Well, it's awesome to hear that you're enjoying it :rainbowlaugh: Thanks!

Sorry for my bad english (not my first language), but THIS story is a bucking huge pile of "dawww" and you really can be proud of it :rainbowkiss:

Both, Applejack and Rainbow are in-character, i love the originality of this fic, how they already kind of knew they would be a perfect match, how they admit it to themself 'cause of a bet (or RD at least, since AJ already knew it could work) and how cute they are while sharing their time together.

Seriously, i cant even remember the last time "daawwing" as hard in my pants as i did while reading this fic! Im glad nobody was watching me, 'cause i was paddling with my feet the whole time xD
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2883-Rainbow_Dash_leg_wiggle_1.gif

2546163 Thanks very much! For the cute gif as well :pinkiehappy: Originality was a big factor in coming up with the concept, and that and the cute scenes they have together are the reasons that I'm so proud of this. And I am proud of it :twilightsmile:

2550938
You might have a bunch of new german favorites ;) I and Buchi promoted the fic on the german brony forums' appledash thread, and they seem to quite like it :pinkiehappy:

2552923 2554292 Oh wow, awesome! Thank you both! It's always great to get new readers to my older stories :rainbowkiss:

EDIT: And, of course, to spread Appledash to all corners of the globe!

I really enjoyed this fic. I thought their interractions were perfect and I thought the idea was really original! Outstanding!:ajsmug:

2740578 Thank you very much :twilightsmile: I'm glad to hear that people are still enjoying this!

Although it does remind me that I still want to go back and re-write that epilogue... ...Nevermind.

Look at what just got on EQD! :rainbowkiss:

Congrats on the EQD feature!

Ahh. Been a while since I had good dose of Appledash done right.

Not entirely sure this epilogue really was necessary, or added anything.
After all, we were pretty sure they were going to give it their best shot before this. And we're left off on the same resolution. The mood here is very different, too, from the other chapters.

Buuut, it isn't some unforgivable crime, or anything. It was a solid chapter. It just doesn't leave us off with as sunny a note as the other chapter does, even if it ends being positive, just because the path we take moves through some deeper water before the end.

T'was a fun trip though, and I very much enjoyed it. It really hit on the proper attitude for a TwiDash; That the pair is just plain compatible, and can enjoy eachother's company, and share interests in the way that a lot of the others, aside from maybe Fluttershy and Rarity, can't.

So, thanks for the pick-me-up on this grey ol' morning!

Shed a single tear, too cute.

2824352 2824407 2825153 Yup :pinkiehappy: I was actually quite surprised! But I'm very glad I submitted it now. Thanks to everyone who left a comment for convincing me that it was worth a shot!

2824789 The feature got the fic out there to a fair few people it seems, which is awesome. I want as many people as possible to enjoy these stories (and leave me flattering comments)

Thanks a lot!

2825914 Go left, go left! :pinkiehappy: Yay, someone actually got it :twilightsmile:

2826129 Glad you liked it!

2842136 Aw, thanks :rainbowkiss:

2826850 Thanks for the feedback!

Normally it feels like a bit of a cop-out to have things already in-progress, as some manifest truth... // ...instead it actually felt rather... refreshingly different.

Yeah, I am guilty of this at times. Technically, I'm guilty of it here too, but it's good to hear that it didn't feel like a cop-out. Refreshingly different - yay! :yay:

Gaydar

Yes :twilightsmile:

Also double yes that you liked the sapphic affair line :pinkiehappy:

More seriously, this chapter sets things up on a pretty high note. It's well paced. It's cute. The characterization is very solid. If that's the tone that this fic will be keeping, I'm going to enjoy myself immensely!

I certainly hope you do! (EDIT: Looks like you did! I'll reply to the other comments in a sec!) Thanks a lot of the kind words!

2827016

Oh gods. It's the Incredible Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash all over again.

I do like your AJ though. I'm a sucker for the deadpan sarcasm thing.

Ah, I love that story so much!

I am also a sucker for deadpan sarcasm. And AJ pulls it off so well, especially in the Hearth's Warming episode which is one of my absolute favourites.

I can also tell that 'coolly' is your adjective of choice.

Hehehe... :twilightblush: I guess it is. I could go through and replace it with awesomely, radically and bodaciously, but it wouldn't be the same. (Can I be Rainbow Dash's pet now?)

2827059

You devious bitch.
Highlight of the fic right there. Best Marshmallow.

<snip of things going horribly wrong>
A-heh...

Meh, I'm willing to believe it's still all part of Rarity's devious shippy plan, and not just to break the ice.

I figured Rarity pulling a prank would come as a nice surprise (not so nice for Dash, of course) :twilightsmile: And well done for calling it.

Still, kudos for the quick resolution. After all, this is Dash we're talking about. A lot of shipfics have her waffle too much when things go bad. Dash is more of a 'do first, think-sometime-next-week-if-she-has-time' kind of person

Thanks! Yeah, I certainly see Rainbow Dash as more of a 'Take action!' pony, rather than being big on boring, melancholic monologues (I am also guilty of those).

2827125

No snarky commentary. Just... d'aww.

:twilightsmile:

2827172

Coolly, you say.

I do say :scootangel:

Sweet revenge. Made the chapter.
Rarity vs Rainbow is not exactly the prank war we usually see. But this is an awesome little thread in the story.

As above, I was hoping it would subvert expectations, and also add some more originality. Good to hear you liked it!

*Dense Mind reference*

Now you've made me want to go and read it again :twilightangry2:

...Thank you. :twilightsheepish:

I keep going on about the tone of things, but it's still my favorite thing. Between friends or marefriends in this fic, you really captured how they're able to have fun. They tease and prod at eachother as they would, with someone like Dash in the mix. And since they're all having fun, so are we!

This is my absolute favourite thing to hear. Like you say, as friends or marefriends, they are so much fun together, and capturing that was always a vital part of writing this fic. And hearing that I managed to do so makes me very proud. :twilightsmile:

Now to the epilogue...

2827262

Not entirely sure this epilogue really was necessary, or added anything.

In all honesty, me neither. It really exists only to resolve a conflict that never really came up in this version of the story. In the original version, this would've made sense (though it still would've disrupted the tone).

Buuut, it isn't some unforgivable crime, or anything. It was a solid chapter. It just doesn't leave us off with as sunny a note as the other chapter does

Yeah... I guess I felt that way too, that's why I left it in. But just because it's not an unforgivable crime isn't a great reason to have it there, disrupting the fic.

If you get around to reading this, I'd like to know your opinion. Should I get rid of the epilogue altogether? I mean, if Chapter Five left you feeling sunny and the story feeling complete, then there's really no need for any more, is there? (Anything more would feel pointless as Jack O'Neill Rainbow Dash would say)

I may make a blog post asking the same question to everyone in general, actually.

T'was a fun trip though, and I very much enjoyed it. // So, thanks for the pick-me-up on this grey ol' morning!

It was my pleasure! Writing this fic was so much fun, and I'm very glad that so many people have read and liked it (and been kind enough to leave comments!)

Thank you again, and sorry for the wall of text!

D'aw. This was real sweet, while at the same time a bit of an unusual approach to a romance fic. Interesting to see the characters be so up-front about it from the start. Well done, this goes on the favorites pile.

2876204 Glad you liked the unusual approach - I enjoyed writing the characters with existing feelings, and having them spend the story understanding and coming to terms with them. Thanks a lot!

This was an interesting twist on my favorite ship. Having them start out with Rainbow avoiding a relationship that Applejack really wants definitely added some hardcore emotion and the sad moment when Rainbow freaked out hit hard. The ending is perfect and exceptionally d'aww-worthy. Great job :ajsmug:

3227952 Thanks a lot! I'm really glad you enjoyed it, especially the whole 'Rainbow freaking out' part - that was probably one of my favourite parts to write as well.

Always nice to hear that my stories have evoked some emotion and/or d'aww-ing :scootangel: I should really write more like this!

This writing pulls a plow. Heck, it pulls ten plows. I was puttering around Deviantart and I found an Argodaemon pic (that's from his nifty short Appledash)
along with a link to this magnificent story. I have said it before and I'll say it again. Appledash is the best ship. Scientific Fact. I can prove it with tarot cards.
Fave, upvote and a watch from me.

3636964 Yay, tarot cards! :pinkiehappy: Thanks very much! Appledash is ace - it's yet another ship I plan to read more of in the new year. Maybe I'll finally work my way through the dozen or so I have on my read later list! :twilightsheepish:

I hate you.

I love you.

Stupid sexy AppleDash.

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