This story is a sequel to The Lost Tribe
Pinkie Pie meets a guy! She couldn't be happier, but soon she starts to worry about the risks that come with having a special somepony in her life.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 18th Jul, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 15th, 2023
Mike Dugan
Be sure to check out my deviantART gallery! http://mikedugan.deviantart.com
Mike Dugan
Joined 18th Jul, 2012 ·
Offline
Sequels1
-
Mike Dugan · 3.7k words · 31 12 · 1.4k views
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Mike Dugan · 16k words · 332 6 · 15k views
- Mike Dugan · 3.7k words · 31 12 · 1.4k views
- fluttershywriter · 5.2k words · 653 22 · 8.9k views
- Munngojerrie · 12k words · 251 17 · 5.7k views
- Jagged Fox · 2.3k words · 54 1 · 1.6k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.292 seconds
Total duration
1,019 users online
1,730,517 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
That was super cute! O3O
My favourite thing about it was that it could totally have happened in the show; it was written in the perfect style. Keep up the good work!
i enjoyed it was a fun story to read
I enjoyed reading this. It was funny and cute
This gets all of my d'awwwws!
okay sombody really needs to draw a gussied up pinkie pie
Pinkie.exe has stopped responding.
excitement.exe has had a memory overload.
Balloons.exe has stopped responding.
me gusta
Who is Breaker?
That was absolutely adorable.
I love it!
Mike, you realize you're gonna have to explain who Breaker is, right?
Love it!
Pretty cool
Wow you captured the characters PERFECTLY! Liked & Faved!
NOT A LIMERICK
!
Limerick goes AABBA.
Aww, that was adorable! I can really see Pinkie reacting in this fashion if she had feelings for a stallion. So cute!
Jolly good. I say, all my bravos are belong to you!
I couldn't help but smile and giggle uncontrollably throughout the story! It was so cute!
Woo! What a brilliant story!
It's such a rarity to have a fanfiction that involves a romance between one of the mane 6 and a new character, and even more of a rarity for that character to not be some weird Mary Sue. Thanks for a brilliant read! Pinkie Pie really deserves someone like that.
This looks really cute. Smily seems like a cool guy :)
Perfect characterization, smooth flow. Great story, all in all.
This is such a lovely story! I love it so so so so so so so so much! I LOVE IT!!!
Too fast for my taste. Still, can't really find fault with it. It's pretty inoffensive. Very cute. 8/10 for me, but others are probably nicer, less cynical types.
I'm as cynical as the next guy, but hay -- I like to see Pinkie smile.
Woohoo diabetes!
I loved this story. ^^
It should be: Twilight Sparkle scrambled downstairs to answer the frantic knocking on her front door.
Short, direct, and to the point. Definitely makes for a nice quick read.
1884376
Whoa, good call there, dude! Sheesh, thanks for that!
Nice story, I enjoyed it.
Rare for someone not from the Mane 6 though to help resolve the situation. Need to see more stories like this.
Also, It brings up an interesting answer to a question that has been bugging me.
Pinkie Pie is often seen as the shoulder for others to lean on, and also be more than willingly to lend advice and help. Who then, would she turn to when she needs it?
Answer seems obvious, since Mrs. Cake would be the surrogate mom, and the Mane 6 can be really lacking in the maturity department, least when it comes to romance.
Clearly, the romance is not for me but the story was very nice, I loved it, these paragraphs are better than mine ones.
What a great Pinkie fic! I really enjoyed this. The characterization a were so in character too. :)
You know how many pinkie x stallion fics. Practically none im so glad u did
This was brilliant. I can't wait for the next chapters, if there are any. Please continue!
Inb4 read: Ha, got here before Regidar.
Looking forward to reading this when I get the time.
Absolutely LOVED this story. I agree with the rest; there aren't enough Pinkie romances. For that matter, all the romances I find are either horribly written or clop-related. I congratulate you on a job well done. :)
Toodledoo!
Quillin Words
Oh gosh, my sides! I didn't see that coming at all, I thought Rainbow Dash was being serious.
"You're right, Gummy!" Pinkie declared. "If I'm going to stay friends with Smiley, then I've got to avoid him completely!"
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR8PMCA6dC8FZb64y-wnhzhk2vJb12NVgku8HHoFSQkRc8TlXU7
This was a great little one-shot, I'm glad I took the time to read this and now I'm posting it to my followers.
A straight pairing in a fanfic?
...Great story though, Smiley seems like the perfect gentleman clown.
1881646 HE COMES FROM A DIFFERENT STORY. HE IS A SEA PONY.
An absolutely adorable story that captures Pinkie's character perfectly. This is totally how she would react to growing feelings of affection.
Awesome job, author, give yourself an infinite number of pats on the back
.
D'AAAAW
That was so cute!
I really loved how you portrayed Pinkie and it was a cute little read.
I hope you don't mind a critical review.
I think the easiest way to put it is that this story is bony. Its plot-points poke out at sudden, awkward angles. It's a good skeleton - a really good skeleton in fact* - but it needs more poetry, tenderness, and maturity to make it work. Ask how the other characters would react - and what exactly Pinkie feels inside.
(*good features include but are not limited to: Pinkie going crazy, making small issues larger than life, daring to be funny, and general sincerity and close-to-showishness.)
Much like how the real Pinkie in "Too Many" is the one with life experience and consequent balanced outlook. My gut says that will come to you with age (I do get the idea that you're fairly young) and/or writing experience.
So, downvote this time, but I'm excited to see where you'll grow as a writer. Followed.
And before I forget: you can do a lot to improve your prose. You're technically not making grammatical mistakes, but you're using subordinate clauses and indirect wording much more than you should.
--
Twilight Sparkle scrambled downstairs to answer the frantic knocking on her front door. The incessant fast-paced pounding of hooves startled her, making her wonder if an emergency had sprung up in town. She flung the door open, and the rapid-fire hoof beats continued, except now they were being delivered to her forehead. They stopped after a second, giving Twilight a chance to rub her smarting face.
"Ow! Pinkie!" the purple unicorn exclaimed. "What are you doing?"
Pinkie Pie gave a slight guilty look. "Oops! Sorry Twilight! I just got overexcited!" she said.
"You don't say," Twilight muttered.
--
Somepony was knocking on Twilight Sparkle's door, and she scrambled downstairs to answer him. The knocks came fast and unbroken, as if some emergency had sprung up in town, and Twilight flung the door open to hear what it was.
The hoofbeats continued, now landing on Twilight's face. "Ow! Pinkie! What are you doing?"
Pinkie frowned. "Oops! Sorry, Twilight. I just got overexcited."
"You don't say," Twilight muttered.
--
These are subtle points, but they make your prose flow much better. Get yourself a copy of It was the best of sentences by June Casagrande. Aim for simple, your readers will have more brainpower left for imagination.
Eustatian Wings - or oh crap I wrote a fixer review when I shouldn't have
<Thunderfall Readers' Circle>
Not bad, not bad at all. Best Pinkie/other character shipping I have read. (Albeit I haven't read other Pinkie Pie shipping stories
)
One question: CAN WE HAVE A SEQUEL PLEASE
I like this story, good work, but feels short.
wooo! That was great! You must continue this some how!
Chapter 2 please
files.sharenator.com/for_the_love_of_god_MOAR-s450x516-138604.png
I'm just what my username would suggest, so I wasn't sure about reading a different Pinkie romance fic... but I really like this! Pinkie is so in-character and adorable, I just love it!
Im new too all this fimfiction thing i dont kno how to read the fimfic just the sneak peak or watevs it is
1889651
Just click in the title below the description
Excellent story!
'd it! 5 out of 5 
Good story, but I'd genuinely like to know how one makes a swooning sound.
1890415
Sentences is a 220-page book. I can't distill that down into a brief comment for everyone I meet who needs it. It's worth the $10 it is on Amazon, and if anyone can't afford that, there are copies floating around. Line by Line (Amazon related) is equally informative, but much dryer. Sin and Syntax is exceedingly lame: trite advice is not saved by sexing it up.
I have all three. Any skill you derive from these books is more the product of the time you spend with them than
I'll admit I have no idea how to teach >more poetry, tenderness, and maturity.
In my defense, neither does Stephen King in On Writing. It does seem to come with a combination of experience with writing, life, and reading (which I missed) - the reading and writing have to be critical: "How did this author do X, and am I doing it too?"
I've tried writing detailed line-by-line reviews (dozens of them in fact). Only a handful have been successful, and that's why I don't do them anymore. Two reasons: anything more complicated than punctuating dialog cannot be learned from a line-by-line, and they're too easy for authors. They don't demand enough creative effort to make the product the author's own, or to really teach anything.
Sadly, > the real Pinkie in "Too Many" is the one with life experience and consequent balanced outlook
is the closest I can offer to concrete direction. It's only a direction to go in; the author is free to see where it takes him.
I've tried dictating. It sucks for everypony. Art is harder.